1 00:00:01,751 --> 00:00:03,196 Excuse me. 2 00:00:03,733 --> 00:00:05,367 - Are you Leslie Knope? - Yes. 3 00:00:05,401 --> 00:00:06,868 We are part of a group 4 00:00:06,902 --> 00:00:08,937 that tries to identify potential candidates 5 00:00:08,971 --> 00:00:10,805 for political office here in town. 6 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:13,208 Are you theoretically interested in running for office? 7 00:00:13,242 --> 00:00:14,776 Abso-toot-ly I am. 8 00:00:14,810 --> 00:00:16,711 Very sorry that I just used that word. 9 00:00:16,746 --> 00:00:19,147 Before we go any further, I need you to tell me 10 00:00:19,181 --> 00:00:20,548 is there a scandal out there? 11 00:00:20,566 --> 00:00:25,120 Is there anything at all you need to tell us about your life? 12 00:00:25,154 --> 00:00:27,222 Nope. 13 00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:32,393 Who were the suits? 14 00:00:32,411 --> 00:00:35,196 They want me to run for office. 15 00:00:35,231 --> 00:00:37,749 Oh, my God! Leslie, yea! 16 00:00:37,783 --> 00:00:39,134 I know, right? Yea. 17 00:00:39,168 --> 00:00:40,335 - Yea! - Yea! 18 00:00:40,369 --> 00:00:41,569 - Yea! - Yea! 19 00:00:41,604 --> 00:00:42,971 Wait, what does that mean about you and Ben? 20 00:00:43,005 --> 00:00:44,039 I don't know. 21 00:00:44,073 --> 00:00:45,340 I think it's gonna be really bad. 22 00:00:45,374 --> 00:00:47,075 Uh-oh. You just wanna go back to saying "yea"? 23 00:00:47,109 --> 00:00:48,243 Yes, please. 24 00:00:48,277 --> 00:00:51,846 - Okay, yea. - Yea. Yea. 25 00:00:51,881 --> 00:00:53,465 - Knope, follow me. - Just one second. 26 00:00:53,516 --> 00:00:55,050 - Now! - Ron, hey! 27 00:00:55,084 --> 00:00:57,185 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Ron! Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron! 28 00:00:57,219 --> 00:00:58,353 What's going on? 29 00:00:58,387 --> 00:00:59,954 My ex-wife Tammy is back. 30 00:00:59,989 --> 00:01:01,356 Yeah, I saw her in the courtyard. 31 00:01:01,390 --> 00:01:04,092 No, my other ex-wife Tammy. Tammy one. 32 00:01:04,110 --> 00:01:06,394 I have accrued 228 personal days. 33 00:01:06,428 --> 00:01:08,146 Starting right now, I'm using all of them. 34 00:01:10,266 --> 00:01:13,768 While I'm gone, you're in charge. 35 00:01:13,786 --> 00:01:17,155 Ah! 36 00:01:17,206 --> 00:01:20,825 Also, I keep a sizable supply of ground chuck in my desk. 37 00:01:20,876 --> 00:01:23,545 Remove it or it will begin to smell. 38 00:01:23,579 --> 00:01:25,213 Godspeed. 39 00:01:27,550 --> 00:01:28,616 - Hi, Ron. - Move! 40 00:01:28,634 --> 00:01:31,086 Whoa! 41 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:32,654 Ah, geez. 42 00:01:35,691 --> 00:01:43,898 Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 43 00:01:53,629 --> 00:01:56,100 Warning! High levels of swagger coming through. 44 00:01:56,220 --> 00:01:58,279 Tommy Haverford back in the Parks Department. 45 00:01:58,314 --> 00:02:00,930 Entertainment720 hockey jersey, anybody? 46 00:02:02,017 --> 00:02:03,501 Branded mouse pad? 47 00:02:03,536 --> 00:02:06,487 Entertainment720 is just a little multi-national 48 00:02:06,505 --> 00:02:08,706 entertainment company that I started with my boy 49 00:02:08,758 --> 00:02:10,024 Jean-Ralphio. 50 00:02:10,059 --> 00:02:11,726 What exactly do we do? 51 00:02:11,761 --> 00:02:14,395 Let's just say it's too hard to explain. 52 00:02:14,430 --> 00:02:16,698 Donna, you look amazing. How are the kids? 53 00:02:16,732 --> 00:02:18,266 - I don't have kids. - Wow. 54 00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:20,268 - How long has it been? - Three weeks. 55 00:02:21,687 --> 00:02:22,854 So did you get a chance to look 56 00:02:22,888 --> 00:02:24,189 at my sample position papers? 57 00:02:24,223 --> 00:02:26,858 How do you feel about my stance on Egyptian debt relief? 58 00:02:26,892 --> 00:02:28,726 Uh, well, it probably won't come up 59 00:02:28,778 --> 00:02:31,362 in a local City Council election. 60 00:02:31,397 --> 00:02:34,115 But your thoroughness, as always, is impressive. 61 00:02:34,150 --> 00:02:35,400 Thank you. 62 00:02:35,451 --> 00:02:38,286 Now, we have three months. 63 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,521 I think we should start talking strategy. 64 00:02:40,539 --> 00:02:42,707 My strategy is to win. 65 00:02:42,741 --> 00:02:45,910 I've been dreaming about running for public office my whole life. 66 00:02:45,961 --> 00:02:48,329 While other girls were playing with Barbies, 67 00:02:48,363 --> 00:02:51,666 I was playing with a Geraldine Ferraro action figure 68 00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:54,068 that I made myself from a picture of her that I glued 69 00:02:54,103 --> 00:02:55,804 onto a Popsicle stick. 70 00:02:55,838 --> 00:02:57,105 See you next week? 71 00:02:57,139 --> 00:02:58,139 Okay, I'm looking forward to it. 72 00:02:58,174 --> 00:02:59,257 Hey! What— 73 00:02:59,308 --> 00:03:02,427 - Who was that? - Uh... 74 00:03:02,478 --> 00:03:04,512 Lady—just ladies. 75 00:03:04,546 --> 00:03:06,815 Meeting for the ladies' yacht club. 76 00:03:06,849 --> 00:03:08,349 - Anchors away, ladies. - What? 77 00:03:08,383 --> 00:03:09,884 Just don't— 78 00:03:09,902 --> 00:03:11,452 Ladies' yacht club? 79 00:03:11,487 --> 00:03:13,438 I cannot believe you haven't told him yet. 80 00:03:13,489 --> 00:03:15,390 After I tell him, I'm running for office, 81 00:03:15,424 --> 00:03:16,774 we're gonna have to break up. 82 00:03:16,826 --> 00:03:19,077 Why can't you just keep sneaking around? 83 00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:23,231 Ann, you beautiful, naive, sophisticated, newborn baby. 84 00:03:23,249 --> 00:03:24,732 What? 85 00:03:24,767 --> 00:03:27,402 Before, if people found out, we would maybe lose our jobs. 86 00:03:27,436 --> 00:03:30,505 Now, if people find out, it's gonna be a major scandal. 87 00:03:30,539 --> 00:03:33,074 My campaign will be over before it begins. 88 00:03:33,092 --> 00:03:34,876 - What are you gonna do? - I have a plan. 89 00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:36,377 And it's really good. 90 00:03:36,412 --> 00:03:38,613 I'm gonna postpone telling him 91 00:03:38,647 --> 00:03:41,582 until you figure out what I'm supposed to do. 92 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:42,917 So get crackin'. 93 00:03:42,935 --> 00:03:44,269 How is this on me? 94 00:03:44,303 --> 00:03:47,438 Fine! I'll do it. God, who keeps emailing me? 95 00:03:47,473 --> 00:03:50,108 - A penis. - What? 96 00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:52,227 Oh, my God. 97 00:03:52,261 --> 00:03:53,995 Oh— 98 00:03:54,029 --> 00:03:55,330 It's emailing me too. 99 00:03:55,364 --> 00:03:57,999 Whoever this is sent it to every woman 100 00:03:58,033 --> 00:04:00,618 in the entire government. 101 00:04:00,653 --> 00:04:02,937 Oh, my God. 102 00:04:02,972 --> 00:04:06,875 He's gonna be so embarrassed. I mean, that's a crazy accident. 103 00:04:06,909 --> 00:04:10,645 No, Andy, he did it on purpose. 104 00:04:10,679 --> 00:04:12,814 You know what? Respect. That's a baller move. 105 00:04:12,848 --> 00:04:13,982 Pun intended. 106 00:04:14,016 --> 00:04:15,333 Excuse me. 107 00:04:15,384 --> 00:04:16,551 Chris, Jerry's making us look at dirty pictures 108 00:04:16,585 --> 00:04:17,669 on his computer. 109 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:19,504 It is exactly because of that lewd photo 110 00:04:19,555 --> 00:04:20,822 that I am here. 111 00:04:20,856 --> 00:04:22,507 Ben and I are launching a full investigation. 112 00:04:22,558 --> 00:04:25,459 And I want to apologize to all the women... 113 00:04:25,477 --> 00:04:26,861 And Jerry. 114 00:04:26,896 --> 00:04:29,964 If I could go back in time, and cut your eyeballs out, 115 00:04:29,999 --> 00:04:30,965 I would. 116 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,568 - Wow, that is so sweet. - Thank you. 117 00:04:33,602 --> 00:04:36,404 We are getting a lot of media requests about this. 118 00:04:36,438 --> 00:04:38,373 So Leslie, can you do Perd Hapley? 119 00:04:38,407 --> 00:04:40,858 Ho! She can do Perd Hapley. 120 00:04:40,910 --> 00:04:42,777 Hi-oh! 121 00:04:42,811 --> 00:04:44,746 Seriously, can you do his TV show? 122 00:04:44,780 --> 00:04:47,165 Oh, yeah. 123 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,367 Andrew my man-drew, what are you up to? 124 00:04:49,418 --> 00:04:51,986 I'm about to do an experiment where I huck this at the wall 125 00:04:52,021 --> 00:04:54,172 and see what happens. 126 00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:55,823 But that can wait. Shoe shine? 127 00:04:55,841 --> 00:04:57,175 Andy, I'm gonna be honest. 128 00:04:57,209 --> 00:04:59,160 I came here today to talk to you. 129 00:04:59,178 --> 00:05:02,330 Now look, you're enthusiastic. You're hard-working. 130 00:05:02,364 --> 00:05:03,765 You can lift heavy things. 131 00:05:03,799 --> 00:05:04,866 I think there might be a place for you 132 00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:06,851 over at Entertainment720. 133 00:05:06,885 --> 00:05:08,770 Oh, my God. 134 00:05:08,804 --> 00:05:09,804 What is that? 135 00:05:09,838 --> 00:05:11,189 It's my company! 136 00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:12,673 I don't know, Tom. 137 00:05:12,691 --> 00:05:15,043 I mean, I'm just now getting really good at shoe shining. 138 00:05:15,077 --> 00:05:17,045 And I mean, I'm still pretty bad at it. 139 00:05:17,079 --> 00:05:21,749 Let me ask you this. Are you living your dreams? 140 00:05:21,784 --> 00:05:24,352 - I don't know, Tom. - Well, I'm living mine. 141 00:05:24,386 --> 00:05:28,906 And if you wanna live yours, here's my card. 142 00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:32,360 - It's impossible to read. - Black print, black background. 143 00:05:32,378 --> 00:05:33,911 It's the coolest possible color scheme. 144 00:05:33,963 --> 00:05:35,880 - Yeah. - It's also a strong magnet. 145 00:05:35,914 --> 00:05:38,299 So don't put it in your wallet. It will erase your credit cards, 146 00:05:38,334 --> 00:05:40,385 guaranteed. 147 00:05:40,419 --> 00:05:44,138 Destroy my credit cards. Debt and everything? 148 00:05:44,173 --> 00:05:47,842 Mr. Mayor, I promise you that we will find the owner 149 00:05:47,876 --> 00:05:49,110 of that weiner 150 00:05:49,144 --> 00:05:51,646 and we will punish him. Good-bye. 151 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,047 - Ann Perkins! - Hey. 152 00:05:53,082 --> 00:05:54,983 I didn't know who to come to with this, 153 00:05:55,017 --> 00:05:58,603 but that picture, uh—there's something very disturbing 154 00:05:58,654 --> 00:06:00,221 about the testicles. 155 00:06:00,239 --> 00:06:02,123 I've always felt the same way myself. 156 00:06:02,157 --> 00:06:04,826 The testicles are like the ears of the genital system. 157 00:06:04,860 --> 00:06:06,394 They serve a very important function, 158 00:06:06,412 --> 00:06:08,329 but they're not that great to look at. 159 00:06:08,364 --> 00:06:12,600 Okay, wow. No, I was speaking medically. 160 00:06:12,634 --> 00:06:13,935 They're enlarged. 161 00:06:13,969 --> 00:06:16,454 I think that maybe that guy is sick with something— 162 00:06:16,505 --> 00:06:19,073 perhaps, a hernia, or mumps. 163 00:06:19,108 --> 00:06:22,010 Ann Perkins! You really know your testes. 164 00:06:22,044 --> 00:06:24,679 Thank you? 165 00:06:24,713 --> 00:06:26,931 For a female perspective on this scandal, 166 00:06:26,965 --> 00:06:29,583 we turn to a woman, Leslie Knope. 167 00:06:29,601 --> 00:06:31,135 I'm about to ask you a question right now 168 00:06:31,186 --> 00:06:32,520 and that question is this. 169 00:06:32,554 --> 00:06:35,139 The lewd photo— just how big a deal is it? 170 00:06:35,190 --> 00:06:37,692 Well, frankly, Perd, it's not that big a deal. 171 00:06:37,726 --> 00:06:39,227 If you know what I mean. 172 00:06:39,261 --> 00:06:41,779 I don't know what you mean. 173 00:06:41,814 --> 00:06:44,198 But it had the cadence of a joke. 174 00:06:44,233 --> 00:06:46,634 When men in government behave this way, 175 00:06:46,668 --> 00:06:49,037 they betray the public's trust. 176 00:06:49,071 --> 00:06:51,456 Maybe it's time for more women to be in charge. 177 00:06:51,490 --> 00:06:54,108 There you have it, where "it" is the thing 178 00:06:54,143 --> 00:06:56,778 Leslie Knope just said about this situation. 179 00:06:56,812 --> 00:06:58,012 Perd Hap— 180 00:06:58,047 --> 00:06:59,180 How was that? Was that okay? 181 00:06:59,214 --> 00:07:01,749 Amazing. That sound bite is gold. 182 00:07:01,784 --> 00:07:03,634 You're gonna get great feedback on this, 183 00:07:03,669 --> 00:07:05,837 and we think we can capitalize. 184 00:07:05,888 --> 00:07:08,289 You're gonna announce your candidacy on Friday. 185 00:07:08,323 --> 00:07:11,859 Friday. In three months. 186 00:07:11,894 --> 00:07:14,662 No, this Friday. Is that okay? 187 00:07:14,696 --> 00:07:16,597 No, yeah. Yes, it is great. 188 00:07:16,631 --> 00:07:19,517 Okay, we'll do that then now soon. 189 00:07:19,568 --> 00:07:21,853 And, um, I just have something I've been postponing for a while 190 00:07:21,904 --> 00:07:23,805 that I need to do, but I'll do it now. 191 00:07:23,839 --> 00:07:25,773 - Great. - Great. 192 00:07:25,808 --> 00:07:27,308 Yea. 193 00:07:28,541 --> 00:07:29,405 I know it. 194 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,562 - Ben? - Uh, okay. 195 00:07:31,682 --> 00:07:33,419 Ben? I need to talk to you. 196 00:07:34,789 --> 00:07:36,971 That was my brother. He just had a baby girl. 197 00:07:37,091 --> 00:07:39,725 Oh, my God, that's horrible. Or good—full disclosure. 198 00:07:39,845 --> 00:07:41,145 I didn't listen to what you just said. 199 00:07:41,179 --> 00:07:42,430 I need to talk to you about something— 200 00:07:41,891 --> 00:07:43,224 Okay, well, before you say anything, 201 00:07:43,259 --> 00:07:46,268 let me just show you what I got at Doug's Donuts. 202 00:07:46,388 --> 00:07:49,175 It's an L-shaped eclair! 203 00:07:49,444 --> 00:07:52,434 The "L" is for Leslie... For your name. 204 00:07:57,239 --> 00:07:59,140 Hey. 205 00:07:59,158 --> 00:08:01,359 - How are you? - Bad, really bad. 206 00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:03,833 Oh, God. How did the breakup go? 207 00:08:03,868 --> 00:08:07,036 Well, I started crying because he gave me an eclair. 208 00:08:07,071 --> 00:08:08,905 And then we made out and spent the night together. 209 00:08:08,939 --> 00:08:11,774 But this morning in the cold light of day, 210 00:08:11,809 --> 00:08:14,143 I cooked breakfast and we made out some more. 211 00:08:14,178 --> 00:08:16,246 Wow, you opposite-of-broke-up with him. 212 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:20,383 He gave me an eclair, Ann! 213 00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:23,486 Joe, I've determined that the lewd picture was sent by you 214 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:27,857 because you sent it from your personal email address, 215 00:08:27,892 --> 00:08:33,730 stinkmaster69@alumni.sarahlawrencecollege.edu. 216 00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:35,465 Really? Sarah Lawrence? 217 00:08:35,499 --> 00:08:37,734 Yeah. I wanted a small college experience. 218 00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:40,687 You also bragged about it to many of your co-workers. 219 00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:43,439 There's an old sewage department saying. 220 00:08:43,474 --> 00:08:45,575 "If you've got a nice drainpipe, 221 00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:47,210 there's no reason to hide it." 222 00:08:47,244 --> 00:08:48,411 I doubt that's a saying. 223 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:50,846 We are terminating you effective immediately. 224 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,315 Is this because you're jealous? 225 00:08:52,349 --> 00:08:54,851 No. It's because you broke the law. 226 00:08:54,885 --> 00:08:56,853 The law of having an amazing package. 227 00:08:56,887 --> 00:08:58,354 Before we have him forcibly removed, 228 00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:00,707 you should know this, that one of our female employees, 229 00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,625 a nurse, examined the photo you sent her— 230 00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:04,294 I bet she did. 231 00:09:04,328 --> 00:09:05,795 And you have the mumps. 232 00:09:05,829 --> 00:09:07,130 You might wanna get that checked. 233 00:09:07,164 --> 00:09:08,498 Sweet. 234 00:09:08,532 --> 00:09:11,301 Someone's got mumps on his lumps. 235 00:09:11,335 --> 00:09:13,553 Up high. Anyone? 236 00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:15,071 Ron isn't here. 237 00:09:15,105 --> 00:09:19,309 His ex-wife Tammy came, and he got scared and ran away. 238 00:09:19,343 --> 00:09:20,927 Well, as acting manager of the Parks Department, 239 00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:24,254 I declare that everything you are saying is stupid. 240 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:25,823 I love you. 241 00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:28,759 Hey, so Tom offered me a job again. 242 00:09:28,793 --> 00:09:31,328 As my manager, what do you think I should do? 243 00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:33,263 Well, what do you wanna do? 244 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:36,333 I think it'd be kinda cool to work for Tom. 245 00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:38,202 So take it. 246 00:09:38,236 --> 00:09:41,872 But working at a start-up can be kind of risky. 247 00:09:41,907 --> 00:09:43,040 So don't take it. 248 00:09:43,074 --> 00:09:44,441 But Tom told me to follow my dreams. 249 00:09:44,476 --> 00:09:45,843 So take it. 250 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:49,213 - But this isn't my dream. - So don't take it. 251 00:09:49,247 --> 00:09:51,549 - I don't know what to do. - Me neither. 252 00:09:51,583 --> 00:09:53,667 You give such good advice. 253 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:55,669 Babe, I love you. 254 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,955 You're welcome. 255 00:10:00,859 --> 00:10:02,292 Ann Perkins! 256 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,345 Hey. Did you maybe tell people 257 00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:07,464 that I diagnosed that guy with mumps based on his porn photo? 258 00:10:07,499 --> 00:10:08,999 I did! I was so proud of you. 259 00:10:09,034 --> 00:10:11,402 Okay, because now I have everyone in City Hall 260 00:10:11,436 --> 00:10:12,937 sending me pictures of their junk, 261 00:10:12,971 --> 00:10:14,838 asking me if they have mumps. 262 00:10:14,873 --> 00:10:16,907 Oh, my God. 263 00:10:16,942 --> 00:10:19,643 Your inbox is literally filled with penises. 264 00:10:19,678 --> 00:10:21,028 - Mm-hmm. - I am so sorry. 265 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:25,583 Oh, look. Ed Miller from payroll. 266 00:10:25,617 --> 00:10:28,035 Before I do this, is there any possible way that 267 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:29,386 we could still keep dating? 268 00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:31,922 We've attacked this from all angles. 269 00:10:31,957 --> 00:10:33,691 Either you don't run for office— 270 00:10:33,725 --> 00:10:35,192 Which is out of the question. 271 00:10:35,227 --> 00:10:37,328 Or you break up with him and avoid a potential scandal. 272 00:10:38,730 --> 00:10:40,347 - Do you need to get that? - No, it's just penises. 273 00:10:40,382 --> 00:10:42,549 Leslie, I don't want you to break up with him either. 274 00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:44,735 - There's just no other way. - Yeah. 275 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,670 Just be direct and honest. 276 00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:47,972 - Okay. - Okay. 277 00:10:48,006 --> 00:10:49,373 Hmm. 278 00:10:49,407 --> 00:10:51,859 It's the entire Sanitation Department for Muncie. 279 00:10:51,893 --> 00:10:52,910 Ooh. 280 00:10:54,579 --> 00:10:56,046 Would you like any wine to start? 281 00:10:56,081 --> 00:10:58,949 Yes, and I'm gonna be direct and honest with you. 282 00:10:58,984 --> 00:11:00,417 I would like a glass of red wine 283 00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:01,619 and I'll take the cheapest one you have 284 00:11:01,653 --> 00:11:02,786 because I can't tell the difference. 285 00:11:02,821 --> 00:11:04,738 - I'll have the same. - Great. 286 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,925 - Okay. Here's the deal. - Okay. 287 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:10,861 - I really, really like you. - I like you too. 288 00:11:10,895 --> 00:11:12,663 And I think I know what you're gonna say. 289 00:11:12,697 --> 00:11:15,866 - I highly doubt that. - I think I do. 290 00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:18,135 - Oh, I don't. - And, um... 291 00:11:18,169 --> 00:11:21,422 - I got you something. - No. What is this? 292 00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,107 - Is this jewelry? - It's not, just open it. 293 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:26,209 No. Oh, I need to go to... 294 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,511 Another place. 295 00:11:27,545 --> 00:11:29,930 I'm gonna go to the bathroom— the Whiz Palace, 296 00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,265 as we like to call it here— 297 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:34,485 and I'm going to be back and I'm not gonna split. 298 00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:37,345 I'm here for you because we need to talk about stuff. 299 00:11:37,465 --> 00:11:40,223 - Okay? - All right. 300 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,992 Wait— 301 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:51,326 - Ron. - What are you doing here? 302 00:11:51,446 --> 00:11:53,789 Running away from my problems. 303 00:11:53,909 --> 00:11:55,692 Come on in. 304 00:12:02,433 --> 00:12:04,328 - Ok, so here's what's going on. - I didn't ask. 305 00:12:04,448 --> 00:12:05,805 Friday, I'm supposed to announce that I'm running 306 00:12:06,045 --> 00:12:07,579 for City Council, and I haven't told Ben yet. 307 00:12:07,613 --> 00:12:09,614 I know I said that we broke up, but we couldn't. 308 00:12:09,649 --> 00:12:11,276 We're still dating. 309 00:12:11,311 --> 00:12:12,510 But now I have to break up with him for real, 310 00:12:12,544 --> 00:12:13,728 but I don't wanna break up with him 311 00:12:13,779 --> 00:12:15,146 because he's so cute. He's so nice. 312 00:12:15,180 --> 00:12:16,614 If you're gonna stay here, there are three rules 313 00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:18,449 you need to follow. 314 00:12:18,483 --> 00:12:22,219 One, no talk about Tammy one. Two, no talk about Ben. 315 00:12:22,254 --> 00:12:24,055 Three, no talk. 316 00:12:24,089 --> 00:12:25,456 I didn't even ask you last night. 317 00:12:25,490 --> 00:12:26,857 What is going on with Tammy one? 318 00:12:26,892 --> 00:12:29,293 You just violated rules number one and three. 319 00:12:29,327 --> 00:12:30,861 You lose your coffee privileges. 320 00:12:30,896 --> 00:12:32,880 Oh. 321 00:12:32,914 --> 00:12:37,868 Oh, you choose, Knope— hunting, fishing, or drinking? 322 00:12:37,903 --> 00:12:40,237 I'd really love to shoot a gun right now. 323 00:12:40,272 --> 00:12:41,639 Fishing it is. 324 00:12:43,141 --> 00:12:45,726 And so effective immediately, all male employees 325 00:12:45,761 --> 00:12:49,096 must stop sending explicit photos to Ms. Perkins. 326 00:12:49,147 --> 00:12:52,066 If I may, what if based on empirical evidence, 327 00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:56,120 I truly believe there's a grave and immediate medical emergency? 328 00:12:56,154 --> 00:13:00,224 Were that the case, could I then show you my dong? 329 00:13:00,258 --> 00:13:01,525 No. 330 00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:03,961 - That would be harassment. - Fair enough. 331 00:13:03,995 --> 00:13:05,896 Now completely different scenario. 332 00:13:05,931 --> 00:13:08,566 Let's say I've been watching a lot of women's golf 333 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,475 and I've had some wine— 334 00:13:10,595 --> 00:13:11,669 How about this? 335 00:13:11,703 --> 00:13:14,887 I'm gonna get a male doctor to come in and do some screenings. 336 00:13:15,007 --> 00:13:15,673 Perfect. 337 00:13:15,707 --> 00:13:17,801 Just as a backup, I'm sending you some photos. 338 00:13:17,921 --> 00:13:19,635 - That will not be necessary. - That's me. 339 00:13:21,405 --> 00:13:23,507 Brand-new day, brand-new merch. 340 00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:26,610 I got you guys some awesome Entertainment720 stuff. 341 00:13:26,644 --> 00:13:30,813 Donna, this is for you. Entertainment720 umbrella. 342 00:13:30,832 --> 00:13:34,784 Entertainment720 fly swatters. Rubik's cube with my face on it. 343 00:13:36,087 --> 00:13:37,587 Fireplace bellows. 344 00:13:37,622 --> 00:13:39,222 And... drum roll please. 345 00:13:40,458 --> 00:13:42,359 Drum roll sound effect key chain. 346 00:13:42,393 --> 00:13:45,262 Shouldn't you be working at your new company, Tom? 347 00:13:45,296 --> 00:13:46,546 I am working, April. 348 00:13:46,597 --> 00:13:48,965 I'm making high-level network contacts. 349 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,017 You think Bethenny Frankel sits behind a desk all day? 350 00:13:51,052 --> 00:13:54,171 She makes $100 million a year. How much you make a year? 351 00:13:54,205 --> 00:13:55,372 $101 million. 352 00:13:55,406 --> 00:13:57,240 Well, I, for one, am happy to see Tom. 353 00:13:57,275 --> 00:13:58,475 Thanks, Jerry! 354 00:13:58,509 --> 00:14:01,027 Here. Have an umbrella and some breath strips. 355 00:14:01,062 --> 00:14:02,612 Whoa. 356 00:14:02,647 --> 00:14:03,947 All right, enough chitchat, everyone. 357 00:14:03,981 --> 00:14:06,683 - Please get back to work. - You're not our boss. 358 00:14:06,701 --> 00:14:08,852 - What'd you just say to me? - Ma'am. 359 00:14:08,886 --> 00:14:12,522 So... did you get a chance to think about my offer? 360 00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:14,691 Yeah, I've been thinking a lot about what you said. 361 00:14:14,725 --> 00:14:17,227 I wanna do my dreams, but I just don't think my dream 362 00:14:17,261 --> 00:14:19,529 is working for a company that puts logos on stuff. 363 00:14:19,564 --> 00:14:21,264 That's not my company does. 364 00:14:21,299 --> 00:14:23,133 Although, maybe we'll start. 365 00:14:23,167 --> 00:14:25,769 Hey, what you think? 366 00:14:25,803 --> 00:14:27,087 Donna... that looks great. 367 00:14:27,138 --> 00:14:29,272 I could do without this one. 368 00:14:31,058 --> 00:14:33,209 So running for office. 369 00:14:33,227 --> 00:14:35,679 Now I'm gonna have to find a replacement for you. 370 00:14:35,713 --> 00:14:38,415 - I might not win. - You'll win. 371 00:14:38,449 --> 00:14:42,819 - I might not run. - You should. 372 00:14:42,853 --> 00:14:44,738 What's our plan here, Knope? 373 00:14:44,772 --> 00:14:48,425 I figure we build a fire, roast the fish we shot, 374 00:14:48,459 --> 00:14:50,126 and make s'mores. 375 00:14:50,161 --> 00:14:51,928 I don't have the material for s'mores. 376 00:14:51,963 --> 00:14:53,363 I do. 377 00:14:53,397 --> 00:14:55,398 I always carry emergency s'more rations in my car. 378 00:14:55,433 --> 00:14:57,951 Given your hunting abilities 379 00:14:58,002 --> 00:14:59,953 and my chocolate supply, 380 00:15:00,004 --> 00:15:04,257 I figure we could stay up here for two... three years. 381 00:15:10,047 --> 00:15:11,581 You know, when I was 12, 382 00:15:11,616 --> 00:15:14,751 my brother shot me in the pinky toe with a nail gun. 383 00:15:14,785 --> 00:15:17,420 Granted, it was a hilarious prank, 384 00:15:17,455 --> 00:15:18,921 and we all had a good laugh. 385 00:15:18,940 --> 00:15:20,089 That's awful. 386 00:15:20,107 --> 00:15:21,924 But I avoided going to the doctor. 387 00:15:21,943 --> 00:15:24,060 I hate paperwork. 388 00:15:24,095 --> 00:15:27,030 After a few weeks, the toe just kinda fell off. 389 00:15:27,064 --> 00:15:28,531 You only have nine toes? 390 00:15:28,566 --> 00:15:31,234 I have the toes I have. 391 00:15:31,269 --> 00:15:32,836 Let's just leave it at that. 392 00:15:32,870 --> 00:15:36,373 The point is the doctor said if I had come in right away, 393 00:15:36,407 --> 00:15:38,975 they might've saved the toe. 394 00:15:39,010 --> 00:15:41,278 You can't run away from your problems. 395 00:15:41,312 --> 00:15:43,513 Especially if you only have nine toes. 396 00:15:44,832 --> 00:15:48,885 Sorry. That was uncalled for. 397 00:15:48,919 --> 00:15:52,389 I'm Ron Swanson. And you're Leslie Knope. 398 00:15:55,059 --> 00:15:57,894 You with me? 399 00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:04,134 Well, what is your dream? 400 00:16:04,168 --> 00:16:06,436 It's to be the biggest rock star on the planet obviously. 401 00:16:06,470 --> 00:16:08,138 But that could take another 3-5 years. 402 00:16:08,172 --> 00:16:09,406 Don't get me wrong. 403 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:12,709 Shoe shining has been a... been a pretty wild ride. 404 00:16:12,743 --> 00:16:16,212 But is it possible there's something more out there for me? 405 00:16:16,247 --> 00:16:19,049 Andy, there's tons of stuff you can do. 406 00:16:19,083 --> 00:16:20,834 I'll help you figure it out. 407 00:16:20,868 --> 00:16:22,702 - Really? - Yes. 408 00:16:22,753 --> 00:16:26,456 One year from now, you, Andy Dwyer, will no longer be 409 00:16:26,490 --> 00:16:29,893 a shoe shinist. 410 00:16:29,927 --> 00:16:31,494 Kyle, beat it. 411 00:16:31,529 --> 00:16:33,697 I wanna make out with my wife now. 412 00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:35,565 But you've only done half of one of my shoes. 413 00:16:35,599 --> 00:16:40,553 Here. Now I haven't done anything. 414 00:16:40,604 --> 00:16:43,673 Scram, kid. 415 00:16:45,943 --> 00:16:47,977 - Hello. - Hey, Ron! Welcome— 416 00:16:48,011 --> 00:16:50,847 Stop. First order of business. 417 00:16:50,881 --> 00:16:53,283 I promised Leslie I'd hire her a new assistant 418 00:16:53,317 --> 00:16:56,185 so the department doesn't completely shut down 419 00:16:56,203 --> 00:16:58,538 while she runs for office. 420 00:16:58,572 --> 00:17:01,358 - You're running for office? - Yeah, City Council. 421 00:17:01,392 --> 00:17:03,360 - Leslie, that is great. - Thank you. 422 00:17:03,394 --> 00:17:07,564 Will you pledge right now not to raise taxes? 423 00:17:07,598 --> 00:17:11,701 - I think that's premature. - No pledge, no vote. 424 00:17:11,719 --> 00:17:13,720 The point is she needs an assistant. 425 00:17:13,754 --> 00:17:16,406 - Start asking around— - Hire Andy. 426 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:20,543 - Andy can do it. - Sure, yeah. 427 00:17:20,578 --> 00:17:21,711 Done. 428 00:17:21,729 --> 00:17:24,714 Andy, you are now Leslie's assistant. 429 00:17:24,732 --> 00:17:26,516 Honey. 430 00:17:26,550 --> 00:17:29,185 No— 431 00:17:29,220 --> 00:17:31,488 Leslie, I'm gonna work my ass off for you. 432 00:17:31,522 --> 00:17:33,790 I'll do anything you ask me. I will prove myself. 433 00:17:33,824 --> 00:17:35,091 You don't even have to pay me. 434 00:17:35,126 --> 00:17:36,526 No, honey, no. 435 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:40,080 Tomorrow, there will be a 300-page orientation booklet 436 00:17:40,114 --> 00:17:41,931 as well as a dozen homemade cookies 437 00:17:41,966 --> 00:17:43,500 in the shape of your face. 438 00:17:43,534 --> 00:17:46,302 But today... 439 00:17:46,337 --> 00:17:50,473 There's something else I have to do. 440 00:17:50,508 --> 00:17:55,478 If any of you need anything at all, too bad. 441 00:17:55,513 --> 00:17:58,047 Deal with your problems yourselves like adults. 442 00:17:58,081 --> 00:18:00,416 I'll be in my office, waiting for Tammy one. 443 00:18:00,434 --> 00:18:01,718 You want me to find her? 444 00:18:01,752 --> 00:18:03,720 There's no need. She'll find me. 445 00:18:03,754 --> 00:18:09,192 She has the tracking ability and body odor of a bloodhound. 446 00:18:11,479 --> 00:18:13,863 Okay, so now you're sure that everything is okay, you know, 447 00:18:13,898 --> 00:18:15,064 down there? 448 00:18:15,098 --> 00:18:17,901 You're perfectly healthy. 449 00:18:17,935 --> 00:18:21,538 That man has the largest penis I have ever seen. 450 00:18:21,572 --> 00:18:23,206 I actually don't even know if he has mumps. 451 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:24,574 Forgot to look. 452 00:18:24,608 --> 00:18:30,163 I was distracted by the largest penis I have ever seen. 453 00:18:33,217 --> 00:18:34,918 I know I've been acting really weird lately, 454 00:18:34,952 --> 00:18:37,821 and, um, I really like you. 455 00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:39,556 What I'm about to say is gonna contradict the idea 456 00:18:39,590 --> 00:18:41,157 that I really like you, but that won't change— 457 00:18:41,192 --> 00:18:42,292 So just open the box. 458 00:18:42,326 --> 00:18:44,027 Please stop bringing out the box, okay? 459 00:18:44,061 --> 00:18:45,462 - Leslie— - You're being really nice, 460 00:18:45,496 --> 00:18:47,564 and what I'm about to say is gonna make you hate me. 461 00:18:47,598 --> 00:18:49,732 Okay, then I'll just open the box for you. 462 00:18:53,103 --> 00:18:55,672 Wow. 463 00:18:55,706 --> 00:18:57,474 You knew? 464 00:18:57,508 --> 00:18:59,526 I figured it out a while ago. 465 00:18:59,577 --> 00:19:01,778 I'm sorry. I should've told you I knew. 466 00:19:01,812 --> 00:19:06,149 But I just—I wanted this to last as long as possible. 467 00:19:06,183 --> 00:19:07,951 We have to break up. 468 00:19:07,985 --> 00:19:11,621 Why? Why do we have to break up? 469 00:19:11,655 --> 00:19:14,958 Well, Leslie, everything you've accomplished, 470 00:19:14,992 --> 00:19:16,960 you have earned and you have worked for. 471 00:19:16,994 --> 00:19:19,662 I don't want anyone to think that you got where you are today 472 00:19:19,697 --> 00:19:23,466 by sleeping with your boss. 473 00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:24,801 But I really like sleeping with my boss. 474 00:19:24,835 --> 00:19:27,103 Yeah... Yeah. 475 00:19:27,137 --> 00:19:29,439 Okay, look. I'm gonna make this real easy for you. 476 00:19:29,473 --> 00:19:34,744 Um, it's not you, it's me. I'm not ready for a commitment. 477 00:19:34,778 --> 00:19:36,713 I just don't like you anymore. 478 00:19:36,747 --> 00:19:39,482 I know it's hard to hear that, but... 479 00:19:39,517 --> 00:19:41,651 You're boring, and frankly you disgust me. 480 00:19:41,685 --> 00:19:43,369 Echh! 481 00:19:45,789 --> 00:19:47,524 How did you figure it out? 482 00:19:47,558 --> 00:19:50,560 Leslie, there was a dude in the ladies' yacht club. 483 00:19:50,594 --> 00:19:52,562 Yeah, but I covered that pretty well. 484 00:19:52,596 --> 00:19:56,216 Also, you've been making campaign speeches in your sleep. 485 00:19:56,250 --> 00:20:00,103 Granted, you always do that, but they got really specific 486 00:20:00,137 --> 00:20:01,938 and moving. 487 00:20:01,972 --> 00:20:03,506 Did I have a good opening line? 488 00:20:03,541 --> 00:20:07,844 It was simple, but I liked it. 489 00:20:07,878 --> 00:20:11,648 Friends, honored guests, Pawneeans. 490 00:20:11,682 --> 00:20:15,735 I am Leslie Knope, and I am running for City Council. 491 00:20:18,388 --> 00:20:28,388 Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 492 00:20:29,382 --> 00:20:32,985 - Hello, Tammy. - Ronald. 493 00:20:33,019 --> 00:20:35,454 That's enough small talk. What do you want? 494 00:20:35,488 --> 00:20:38,078 You remember what I do for a living, I trust? 495 00:20:38,428 --> 00:20:41,160 Yes. You ruin people's lives. 496 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,131 You're being audited, Ronald. 497 00:20:46,166 --> 00:20:47,266 I don't care. 498 00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:49,754 Then why is your mustache trembling? 499 00:20:50,023 --> 00:20:52,037 I'm here as a friend. 500 00:20:52,071 --> 00:20:53,439 Call it nostalgia. 501 00:20:53,473 --> 00:20:56,208 Or perhaps guilt for all the times 502 00:20:56,242 --> 00:20:58,210 I tried to smother you in your sleep. 503 00:20:58,244 --> 00:21:01,464 - I don't need your help. - Wrong. You do. 504 00:21:01,698 --> 00:21:04,371 But as you're so fond of saying, it's a free country. 505 00:21:04,627 --> 00:21:05,896 Good luck. 506 00:21:06,351 --> 00:21:08,587 I hope you don't go to jail. 507 00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:13,960 Sit up straight. You're not doing your breasts any favors. 508 00:21:15,350 --> 00:21:17,202 Thank you. 509 00:21:18,271 --> 00:21:21,442 Hi. Your breasts look amazing. 510 00:21:23,879 --> 00:21:27,499 Sync for WEB-DL: VeRdiKT