1 00:00:01,961 --> 00:00:05,095 Miss Leslie Knope, I present to you Herb Scaifer. 2 00:00:05,113 --> 00:00:06,813 Again, Andy, you don't need to bow. 3 00:00:06,864 --> 00:00:07,898 As you wish, ma'am. 4 00:00:07,932 --> 00:00:09,366 Okay, Herb, what can I do you for? 5 00:00:09,401 --> 00:00:12,786 Well, please prepare yourself. I have terrible news. 6 00:00:12,820 --> 00:00:13,671 You do? 7 00:00:13,705 --> 00:00:16,240 The world is going to end tomorrow at dawn. 8 00:00:16,274 --> 00:00:18,825 Aw nuts. You sure it's tomorrow? 9 00:00:18,876 --> 00:00:21,182 Afraid so. Right at dawn. 10 00:00:21,183 --> 00:00:23,906 The entire planet... 11 00:00:25,101 --> 00:00:27,089 - Gone. - Not giving me much notice, Herb. 12 00:00:27,090 --> 00:00:28,883 - Let me see what I can do. - Okay. 13 00:00:28,983 --> 00:00:30,784 For a while in the 1970s, 14 00:00:30,785 --> 00:00:33,184 our town was run by a freaky cult. 15 00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:34,684 Every few years, 16 00:00:34,685 --> 00:00:37,184 the remaining members predicted the world's gonna end. 17 00:00:37,185 --> 00:00:39,153 And they have an all-night vigil in the park. 18 00:00:39,687 --> 00:00:41,288 It's super annoying. 19 00:00:41,323 --> 00:00:43,324 Turns out when you think the world's ending, 20 00:00:43,358 --> 00:00:46,527 you don't aim so carefully in the port-a-potties. 21 00:00:51,564 --> 00:01:01,164 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com 22 00:01:06,822 --> 00:01:09,078 Tonight, the followers of "Reasonableism" 23 00:01:09,079 --> 00:01:12,297 will be joining together to await the return of Zorp. 24 00:01:12,298 --> 00:01:14,845 The giant lizard god who will destroy the Earth 25 00:01:14,846 --> 00:01:16,646 with his cleansing fire of judgement. 26 00:01:16,647 --> 00:01:18,622 Also light refreshments will be served. 27 00:01:18,623 --> 00:01:21,203 Oh, last year they had pizza. Are they gonna have pizza again? 28 00:01:21,204 --> 00:01:23,767 Uhm... says they've got turkey sandwiches 29 00:01:24,204 --> 00:01:26,367 and the nectar of a thousand sorrows. 30 00:01:26,368 --> 00:01:29,312 Oh, that is so good! It's root beer and red wine. 31 00:01:30,773 --> 00:01:32,335 I went to one meeting. 32 00:01:34,422 --> 00:01:35,917 Wait! 33 00:01:36,856 --> 00:01:38,706 Gonna miss you, enormous chair. 34 00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:41,926 - You really sat on this thing? - Yes! I loved it. 35 00:01:42,596 --> 00:01:44,283 Felt like a tiny king. 36 00:01:48,374 --> 00:01:50,784 T-cup! We did it, baby. 37 00:01:50,785 --> 00:01:53,156 We built a company from the ground up. 38 00:01:53,157 --> 00:01:55,158 And the we ran it back into the ground. 39 00:01:55,159 --> 00:01:59,066 The important thing to remember... is that it was a massive success. 40 00:01:59,067 --> 00:02:00,790 Remy Martin? 41 00:02:00,793 --> 00:02:02,861 Well, Entertainment720 is dead. 42 00:02:02,895 --> 00:02:04,396 It's up in company heaven. 43 00:02:04,430 --> 00:02:08,133 Along with pets.com, Blockbuster and Askjeeves. 44 00:02:08,167 --> 00:02:10,301 My company is no better than a company where you ask 45 00:02:10,336 --> 00:02:13,405 a fake butler to Google things for you. 46 00:02:13,797 --> 00:02:15,324 Hello! 47 00:02:16,424 --> 00:02:19,120 So it looks like we'll each end up with about $5,000 apiece. 48 00:02:19,121 --> 00:02:20,720 Stop. 49 00:02:20,721 --> 00:02:22,934 We get five g's each? That's amazing! 50 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:26,061 You started out with 450,000. 51 00:02:26,963 --> 00:02:29,891 Remember when DJ Bluntz made us our own personal entrance beat? 52 00:02:29,892 --> 00:02:31,397 Remember the opening night party 53 00:02:31,398 --> 00:02:33,797 when you danced so hard with Tess the recepcionist 54 00:02:33,798 --> 00:02:35,325 and you broke one of your ribs? 55 00:02:35,798 --> 00:02:37,925 It never healed properly. 56 00:02:37,926 --> 00:02:40,029 Every breath is agony. 57 00:02:41,463 --> 00:02:43,189 Stop. 58 00:02:43,190 --> 00:02:45,161 So what's next, Tommy Davidson? 59 00:02:45,162 --> 00:02:46,929 I say we invest our ten large 60 00:02:46,930 --> 00:02:49,676 and then I "accidentally" get run over by a city bus. 61 00:02:49,677 --> 00:02:51,765 and we start our own hip-hop label. 62 00:02:51,766 --> 00:02:54,202 Listen, we could play it safe. 63 00:02:54,203 --> 00:02:56,340 But that's not what e720 is all about. 64 00:02:56,341 --> 00:02:58,034 No, it is not. 65 00:02:58,035 --> 00:02:59,973 We have this place for one more night, right? 66 00:02:59,974 --> 00:03:01,577 We're outtie tomorrow at noon. 67 00:03:01,578 --> 00:03:04,925 What if we took every dime we had left, 68 00:03:04,926 --> 00:03:06,649 threw one last party. 69 00:03:06,650 --> 00:03:09,461 Made it the essence of everything we wanted the company to be. 70 00:03:09,462 --> 00:03:10,467 A party... 71 00:03:11,962 --> 00:03:13,167 For the end of the world. 72 00:03:13,168 --> 00:03:16,467 Shh! You had me at "every dime we have left." 73 00:03:16,468 --> 00:03:18,903 Because I'm in like Lara Flynn... 74 00:03:18,904 --> 00:03:21,653 Boyle... from "The Practice." 75 00:03:21,654 --> 00:03:25,913 Dilly dilly dilly dilly dilly dilly dilly swag! 76 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:29,066 Why does the cult call themselves "The Reasonableists"? 77 00:03:29,101 --> 00:03:31,402 Well, they figure if people criticize them 78 00:03:31,436 --> 00:03:32,503 it'll seem like they're 79 00:03:32,537 --> 00:03:33,838 attacking something very reasonable. 80 00:03:33,872 --> 00:03:35,439 That's weirdly brilliant. 81 00:03:35,474 --> 00:03:36,874 Look, there's nothing to worry about. 82 00:03:36,908 --> 00:03:38,943 They've said that the world is going to end 15 times. 83 00:03:38,977 --> 00:03:40,294 And the only bad thing that's ever happened 84 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,879 on any of those dates is 85 00:03:41,913 --> 00:03:44,782 Lance Armstrong dumping Sheryl Crow. 86 00:03:44,816 --> 00:03:46,601 - That was a tragic day. - Hmm. 87 00:03:46,635 --> 00:03:48,486 Live strong. 88 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,772 In any rate, I think Ben and I should accompany you tonight. 89 00:03:51,806 --> 00:03:53,391 Oh, I don't think we have to do that. 90 00:03:53,425 --> 00:03:54,925 No, no, no, I insist. 91 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,795 These people live on planet nutbrain. 92 00:03:57,829 --> 00:04:00,531 I live on planet nut bran. 93 00:04:00,565 --> 00:04:02,316 Bran and nuts are very helpful for your colon! 94 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,317 Well, it looks like we're kind of forced 95 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,935 to hang out with each other. 96 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,821 Yeah, listen, I'll—I'll come for a bit, 97 00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:09,140 but if it's okay with you, I'm not going to stay. 98 00:04:09,174 --> 00:04:13,411 It's just, you know, still kind of weird, right? 99 00:04:13,445 --> 00:04:15,246 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 100 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,081 Yeah, yeah, yeah, mm-hmm, totally get it. 101 00:04:17,115 --> 00:04:18,615 Definitely get it. 102 00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:20,134 Ben and I don't hang out much these days. 103 00:04:20,168 --> 00:04:22,186 Big deal, lots of people don't hang out. 104 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:26,457 Jerry and April. Obama and Madonna, probably. 105 00:04:26,491 --> 00:04:27,408 We're in good company. 106 00:04:28,811 --> 00:04:30,062 What should we do tonight? 107 00:04:30,096 --> 00:04:31,930 I don't know, I just figure we'll just order some pizza. 108 00:04:31,981 --> 00:04:33,314 You watch me play Xbox, 109 00:04:33,349 --> 00:04:34,616 and then I could watch you make some prank phone calls? 110 00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,050 We get hammered? Make out? 111 00:04:36,085 --> 00:04:37,919 We do that every night. 112 00:04:37,953 --> 00:04:41,122 That's because repetition is the key to a good marriage. 113 00:04:41,856 --> 00:04:43,592 Let's do something weird. 114 00:04:43,626 --> 00:04:45,410 Come on, it could be the last night on earth. 115 00:04:45,444 --> 00:04:47,395 We could do something off my bucket list. 116 00:04:47,429 --> 00:04:48,796 You have a bucket list? 117 00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:51,399 Catch the winning touchdown at the super bowl. 118 00:04:51,433 --> 00:04:53,901 Make the most amazing grilled-cheese sandwich ever. 119 00:04:53,936 --> 00:04:55,620 Win the lottery. Ride a unicycle. 120 00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:56,502 Invent something. 121 00:04:56,873 --> 00:04:58,526 Fly first class on a plane. 122 00:04:58,527 --> 00:05:00,043 And when people are walking by, 123 00:05:00,527 --> 00:05:02,543 be like this: 124 00:05:04,072 --> 00:05:05,773 Go skydiving. Outrun a hippo. 125 00:05:05,974 --> 00:05:08,230 I'd like to remake the movie Kazaam with Shaquille O'Neal 126 00:05:08,231 --> 00:05:10,131 where he plays a genie and I'd like to get it right. 127 00:05:10,132 --> 00:05:11,336 Teach my son 128 00:05:11,532 --> 00:05:13,336 to throw the perfect spiral. 129 00:05:15,892 --> 00:05:17,210 Have a son. 130 00:05:17,211 --> 00:05:19,249 All right, well, this is what we're doing tonight. 131 00:05:19,333 --> 00:05:20,110 Wait, which one? 132 00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:21,977 We can change my cell phone plan. 133 00:05:22,811 --> 00:05:24,177 - That would be fun. - No. 134 00:05:24,678 --> 00:05:25,675 This one. 135 00:05:25,678 --> 00:05:28,246 800, 900, 1,000. 136 00:05:28,264 --> 00:05:30,149 And how much is left in the bank account? 137 00:05:30,183 --> 00:05:31,750 18 dollars and four cents. 138 00:05:31,785 --> 00:05:33,752 Whoa! Still a lot left over. 139 00:05:33,787 --> 00:05:38,089 Okay, you wanted to hold $1,000 cash in your hands? 140 00:05:41,795 --> 00:05:45,263 That's super disappointing. 141 00:05:45,281 --> 00:05:48,951 998, 999, 1000. 142 00:05:48,985 --> 00:05:50,402 Yes! 143 00:05:50,436 --> 00:05:53,155 Now this is what I imagined! 144 00:05:55,542 --> 00:05:58,744 Have you ever seen this much cash in your entire life? 145 00:05:58,778 --> 00:06:00,295 I just handed it to you. 146 00:06:00,330 --> 00:06:02,614 Nickels! 147 00:06:02,632 --> 00:06:03,615 I want nickels. 148 00:06:03,650 --> 00:06:05,584 - A billion nickels! - No, Andy. 149 00:06:07,028 --> 00:06:08,006 Hey, Herb? 150 00:06:08,038 --> 00:06:10,006 — Yeah? - Sorry to bother you. - Yeah, sure. 151 00:06:10,007 --> 00:06:12,753 Leslie says you still need to pay for the permit, it's $28. 152 00:06:12,754 --> 00:06:14,529 Oh, I'm sorry. 153 00:06:15,454 --> 00:06:16,529 Here's the check. 154 00:06:16,530 --> 00:06:18,776 You can cash that tomorrow. 155 00:06:20,332 --> 00:06:21,839 Evening, gentlemen, ladies. 156 00:06:22,140 --> 00:06:23,938 - Hey, Ron! - Hail Zorp. 157 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:24,739 How are you? 158 00:06:24,740 --> 00:06:25,739 I'm great. 159 00:06:25,740 --> 00:06:27,758 It is a beautiful night for the end of the world. 160 00:06:27,792 --> 00:06:31,211 Congratulations to all of you for reaching the finish line. 161 00:06:31,246 --> 00:06:33,514 The Zorpies are ridiculous. 162 00:06:33,548 --> 00:06:35,599 But, like the founding fathers, 163 00:06:35,634 --> 00:06:38,385 I believe in absolute freedom of religion. 164 00:06:38,420 --> 00:06:42,122 Also their ceremonies require the playing of flutes. 165 00:06:43,157 --> 00:06:46,260 I happen to make flutes in my wood shop. 166 00:06:46,294 --> 00:06:48,662 Flutes are $80 apiece. 167 00:06:48,697 --> 00:06:50,564 And recorders are 150. 168 00:06:50,598 --> 00:06:53,467 Hey, they're beautiful. 169 00:06:53,501 --> 00:06:54,768 Would you take a check? 170 00:06:54,786 --> 00:06:55,954 Sure. 171 00:06:58,620 --> 00:07:00,254 Welcome to E720's 172 00:07:00,288 --> 00:07:02,172 end of the world celebration. 173 00:07:02,206 --> 00:07:04,508 The entire party's a VIP area. 174 00:07:04,542 --> 00:07:06,126 There's also a double VIP area. 175 00:07:06,177 --> 00:07:07,928 A triple VIP area. 176 00:07:07,962 --> 00:07:10,013 And the Centurion Club elite VIP area. 177 00:07:10,048 --> 00:07:11,348 Sponsored by Sobe Lifewater. 178 00:07:11,382 --> 00:07:13,317 - No one's allowed in there, not even us. - Uh-uh. 179 00:07:13,456 --> 00:07:15,579 We have not one, but six open bars. 180 00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:17,988 And best of all, Snake Juice ice fountain. 181 00:07:17,989 --> 00:07:19,289 Show 'em, T! 182 00:07:19,290 --> 00:07:21,010 Juice is so chilled! 183 00:07:21,011 --> 00:07:22,295 Craps! 184 00:07:22,411 --> 00:07:23,295 Roulette! 185 00:07:23,296 --> 00:07:25,523 Ahrrr! 186 00:07:25,524 --> 00:07:28,476 Pirate ship bouncy castle with bubbles. 187 00:07:28,477 --> 00:07:30,160 Shrimp wall. 188 00:07:30,161 --> 00:07:32,531 And special VIP shrimp distributor 189 00:07:32,561 --> 00:07:34,731 Indiana Pacers' Center Roy Hibbert. 190 00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:37,533 Is all you want me to do? 191 00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:39,233 Pass out shrimp to people at the party? 192 00:07:39,234 --> 00:07:41,344 Yes, and stop asking questions! 193 00:07:41,345 --> 00:07:43,623 Got a head? Maybe you want a free Fedora. 194 00:07:43,624 --> 00:07:45,427 Wanna make out? Go to out make out room. 195 00:07:45,428 --> 00:07:47,991 And before you leave, don't forget the gift bag. 196 00:07:47,992 --> 00:07:50,363 Jean-Ralphio, there are animals on the guest list tonight? 197 00:07:50,364 --> 00:07:52,158 Let me check, T.T. Oh, just one. 198 00:07:52,659 --> 00:07:54,203 Bengal Tiger! 199 00:07:54,204 --> 00:07:57,438 We also hired ten huge, scary bouncers with earpieces. 200 00:07:57,439 --> 00:07:58,861 - What up, Keith? - Mmm. 201 00:07:58,862 --> 00:08:00,874 He actually once tossed me out of a club three years ago. 202 00:08:00,875 --> 00:08:01,969 Water under the bridge. 203 00:08:02,075 --> 00:08:04,482 DJ Bluntz is mixing up some new beats. 204 00:08:04,483 --> 00:08:07,326 Only 200 people will be admitted to retain exclusivity. 205 00:08:07,327 --> 00:08:09,512 Ballers and ballerettes, fasten your seatbelts. 206 00:08:09,546 --> 00:08:11,130 The perfect party begins... 207 00:08:11,164 --> 00:08:13,599 Clink! Now. 208 00:08:15,602 --> 00:08:17,269 Thank God. 209 00:08:17,804 --> 00:08:19,805 No one shows up to a good party on time. 210 00:08:19,839 --> 00:08:21,307 If anybody actually showed up right now, 211 00:08:21,341 --> 00:08:22,441 the whole party would have been ruined. 212 00:08:22,475 --> 00:08:23,526 It would have been a disaster. 213 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,010 I don't want to go to that party. 214 00:08:25,045 --> 00:08:27,947 Does the city consider them a threat to public safety? 215 00:08:27,981 --> 00:08:30,066 Oh, not at all, Shauna Malwae-Tweep. 216 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,880 It's been over 30 years, 217 00:08:31,881 --> 00:08:34,799 since there's any incident involving the Reasonableists. 218 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:36,684 So I shouldn't interpret anything from the fact 219 00:08:36,718 --> 00:08:38,719 that there are two people from the city manager's office here? 220 00:08:38,753 --> 00:08:41,421 Well, nothing except that I had nothing better to do. 221 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,023 Which probably says more about me than them. 222 00:08:43,058 --> 00:08:44,925 Thanks. 223 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,927 - Thanks. - Headline idea. 224 00:08:46,962 --> 00:08:48,662 "It's the end of the world as they know it, 225 00:08:48,697 --> 00:08:50,264 but Pawnee feels fine." 226 00:08:50,282 --> 00:08:53,033 - It's a little long. - Okay, "Zorp Shmorp! 227 00:08:53,068 --> 00:08:54,735 "Doomsday prediction falls flat 228 00:08:54,769 --> 00:08:56,537 "as citizens spend pleasant evening 229 00:08:56,571 --> 00:08:58,539 enjoying one of Pawnee's finest parks." 230 00:08:58,573 --> 00:08:59,907 Somehow longer. 231 00:08:59,941 --> 00:09:01,208 Right, okay let's go with the first one. 232 00:09:01,243 --> 00:09:03,461 Great, um, hey, also... 233 00:09:03,495 --> 00:09:05,445 He's cute. Is he single, do you know? 234 00:09:05,464 --> 00:09:06,780 Chris? No. 235 00:09:06,798 --> 00:09:08,415 He's actually dating Jerry's daughter. 236 00:09:08,449 --> 00:09:10,518 Oh, no sorry, I meant Ben. What's his story? 237 00:09:11,452 --> 00:09:12,486 - Who? - Ben? 238 00:09:13,021 --> 00:09:14,588 I-I don't know. 239 00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:17,508 I—I'm not s— I'm not sure. 240 00:09:18,059 --> 00:09:19,793 He's, um, a man and he's a worker. 241 00:09:20,311 --> 00:09:23,898 And he is—uh, we've never discussed sex, so... 242 00:09:24,432 --> 00:09:26,934 It's—we've always just been very businesslike, so... 243 00:09:27,268 --> 00:09:30,637 Your guess is as good— nay, better than mine. 244 00:09:31,055 --> 00:09:32,639 The end. By Leslie Knope. 245 00:09:34,257 --> 00:09:35,910 Okay. Cool, thanks. 246 00:09:36,444 --> 00:09:37,978 H—happy to help. 247 00:09:38,713 --> 00:09:39,515 What's happening? 248 00:09:41,449 --> 00:09:42,583 The world is ending. 249 00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:45,717 Oh boy, I know how this goes. 250 00:09:45,790 --> 00:09:47,274 I know how Shauna operates. 251 00:09:47,308 --> 00:09:48,942 She smiles, and then they fall in love, 252 00:09:48,976 --> 00:09:50,293 and then they get married, 253 00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:52,512 and then she changes her name to Shauna Malwae-Wyatt. 254 00:09:52,546 --> 00:09:54,130 Or he's going to be really progressive 255 00:09:54,165 --> 00:09:56,149 and change his name to Ben Wyatt-Malwae-Tweep. 256 00:09:56,183 --> 00:09:59,135 God, I am so annoyed that he would hypothetically do that. 257 00:09:59,479 --> 00:10:02,135 Okay... Leslie, they're just talking. 258 00:10:02,136 --> 00:10:04,375 What do you mean "just talking"? He's smiling. 259 00:10:04,376 --> 00:10:05,668 And she seems very charming. 260 00:10:05,669 --> 00:10:06,968 Is she more charming than me? 261 00:10:06,969 --> 00:10:09,665 Ann, if you say "yes", I will kick you. I swear to God. 262 00:10:09,666 --> 00:10:11,001 You're definitely more charming. 263 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,950 But I'm here to remind you 264 00:10:13,084 --> 00:10:14,301 that the reason you're not dating him 265 00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:16,253 is because you decided to run for city council. 266 00:10:16,271 --> 00:10:18,088 Oh, so just because I can't go out with him, 267 00:10:18,123 --> 00:10:19,423 someone else can? 268 00:10:19,441 --> 00:10:20,175 Oh, boy. 269 00:10:20,241 --> 00:10:20,975 - Wow. - Okay. 270 00:10:21,026 --> 00:10:24,111 I'm sure this is nothing. 271 00:10:24,845 --> 00:10:26,647 Okay, well, that was definitely something. 272 00:10:26,698 --> 00:10:28,032 - Oh. My God. - I know that move. 273 00:10:28,066 --> 00:10:29,149 They're gonna have sex in five minutes. 274 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,534 I've gotta stop this. 275 00:10:30,568 --> 00:10:31,902 I've got to keep them away from each other 276 00:10:31,936 --> 00:10:32,770 for the rest of their lives. 277 00:10:32,788 --> 00:10:35,623 - How are you gonna do that? - Unclear! 278 00:10:35,657 --> 00:10:39,243 Oh, yeah, ten bucks! 279 00:10:39,277 --> 00:10:40,411 That counts as winning the lottery. 280 00:10:41,645 --> 00:10:44,048 Okay, now is this the most amazing 281 00:10:44,082 --> 00:10:46,116 grilled-cheese sandwich ever made? 282 00:10:46,134 --> 00:10:48,252 Mmm, it's pretty awesome. 283 00:10:48,786 --> 00:10:50,120 Honey, my bucket list doesn't say 284 00:10:50,155 --> 00:10:52,856 "make a pretty awesome grilled-cheese sandwich." 285 00:10:52,891 --> 00:10:54,191 Gotta go back to the store. 286 00:10:54,225 --> 00:10:55,693 We're gonna get a different kind of cheese. 287 00:10:55,727 --> 00:10:56,810 No, no, no, dude, seriously. 288 00:10:56,845 --> 00:10:58,195 This is the most amazing grilled-cheese sandwich 289 00:10:58,229 --> 00:10:59,263 ever made, okay? 290 00:10:59,297 --> 00:11:01,265 Okay. What's next? 291 00:11:01,299 --> 00:11:04,435 Hey, there you are. Wow, you two are still talking? 292 00:11:04,469 --> 00:11:06,003 Ben hasn't bored you to death by now. 293 00:11:06,037 --> 00:11:08,138 - Hey. - So boring. 294 00:11:08,156 --> 00:11:09,906 Actually, we were having a really great talk. 295 00:11:10,441 --> 00:11:12,309 - Keep your pants on. - What? 296 00:11:12,344 --> 00:11:13,911 I mean, keep your pants on, girl! 297 00:11:13,945 --> 00:11:15,546 I mean, those are really nice pants. 298 00:11:15,580 --> 00:11:17,147 I really like your pants. Where'd you get them? 299 00:11:17,182 --> 00:11:18,999 Do you want to go buy some more pants? 300 00:11:19,034 --> 00:11:20,484 Or, um, walk away from here? 301 00:11:20,485 --> 00:11:22,489 Actually. I think I have everything I needed here, 302 00:11:22,490 --> 00:11:24,574 but I might head over to that end of the world party. 303 00:11:24,608 --> 00:11:26,276 Oh, that's where all the losers are going. 304 00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,211 Yeah, what is that? Tom emailed me. 305 00:11:28,245 --> 00:11:30,780 - I could check that out. - Hurrrrr... 306 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:33,483 Well, then you should stay here then. 307 00:11:33,517 --> 00:11:35,218 Because you can't go. 308 00:11:35,252 --> 00:11:37,153 I mean, what if you're not here when Zorp shows up? 309 00:11:37,188 --> 00:11:38,321 Boy, would your face be red. 310 00:11:38,356 --> 00:11:40,023 When Zorp shows up, 311 00:11:40,057 --> 00:11:44,627 your faces will be melted off and used as fuel. 312 00:11:45,262 --> 00:11:46,529 You want to be here for that. 313 00:11:46,564 --> 00:11:47,864 I think I'll take my chances. 314 00:11:47,898 --> 00:11:50,517 Leslie, thanks as always. 315 00:11:50,551 --> 00:11:54,504 Wow. What an unbelievably unpleasant person. 316 00:11:56,607 --> 00:11:57,891 Melissa, get in there 317 00:11:57,942 --> 00:11:59,309 - with your bad self. - All right. 318 00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:00,944 - You ready? - I'm ready. 319 00:12:00,978 --> 00:12:02,545 Anything you grab is yours to keep. 320 00:12:02,580 --> 00:12:03,730 Hit it! 321 00:12:03,781 --> 00:12:05,515 Yes! 322 00:12:06,033 --> 00:12:08,451 The perfect party. It's an elusive idea. 323 00:12:08,986 --> 00:12:10,403 People have to be completely entertained 324 00:12:10,454 --> 00:12:13,323 from the moment they walk in, to the moment they leave. 325 00:12:13,357 --> 00:12:14,958 It's a grand experiment. 326 00:12:14,992 --> 00:12:18,128 And I... am a party scientist. 327 00:12:18,162 --> 00:12:20,130 Welcome to my laboratory. 328 00:12:23,802 --> 00:12:27,262 So you were living here when "Reasoneableism" first swep in? 329 00:12:27,263 --> 00:12:30,372 I was. Lou Prozotovich, their founder, 330 00:12:30,373 --> 00:12:32,771 was an office supplies salesman. 331 00:12:32,772 --> 00:12:35,276 One day, he had an interesting idea. 332 00:12:35,277 --> 00:12:38,729 Maybe he can write a book to help people organize their offices. 333 00:12:38,730 --> 00:12:40,338 "Organize it!" 334 00:12:40,730 --> 00:12:42,438 The book was a big success. 335 00:12:42,439 --> 00:12:45,639 Then Lou had another interesting thought. 336 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:50,792 Maybe there is a 28-foot tall lizard with a volcano for a mouth 337 00:12:50,793 --> 00:12:53,136 - who controls the universe. - That is interesting. 338 00:12:53,137 --> 00:12:54,132 So he wrote a second book. 339 00:12:54,133 --> 00:12:56,850 "Organize it 2: Engage with Zorp" 340 00:12:56,851 --> 00:12:58,547 You know... could I have a look at that? 341 00:12:58,548 --> 00:13:00,552 Well sure you can, Chris. 342 00:13:01,053 --> 00:13:02,426 You can keep it. 343 00:13:02,427 --> 00:13:05,675 I'd skip the first couple of chapters if I were you, 344 00:13:05,676 --> 00:13:10,271 between you and me, it doesn't really get good till Zorp shows up. 345 00:13:10,272 --> 00:13:12,289 Zorp is the lizard. 346 00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:13,997 What religion am I? 347 00:13:13,998 --> 00:13:18,142 Well, I'm a practicing none of your business. 348 00:13:18,143 --> 00:13:19,995 - Okay, I'm ready! - Good. 349 00:13:20,029 --> 00:13:22,664 Wait! I'm not ready. Super scared. 350 00:13:22,698 --> 00:13:24,616 Andy, you said you wanted to be an action star. 351 00:13:25,150 --> 00:13:25,951 This is your chance. 352 00:13:25,985 --> 00:13:27,187 Okay. 353 00:13:29,121 --> 00:13:31,940 Okay, you, Natalie, follow the action. 354 00:13:31,975 --> 00:13:33,758 - Whatever - What do I have to do? 355 00:13:33,793 --> 00:13:34,926 Just hold up this butter knife to my throat 356 00:13:34,961 --> 00:13:36,127 and pretend like you're holding me hostage. 357 00:13:36,161 --> 00:13:37,996 - What? - Ready! 358 00:13:38,030 --> 00:13:40,515 I don't know. It seems a little crazy. 359 00:13:41,350 --> 00:13:42,601 Just crazy enough to work. 360 00:13:46,772 --> 00:13:48,607 Aah! 361 00:13:48,641 --> 00:13:52,611 Ahh! Oh, my face! 362 00:13:52,645 --> 00:13:53,645 My face! 363 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:56,364 Is fine, Mikhail Petrov! 364 00:13:56,599 --> 00:13:58,817 Forget it, Macklin, you're too late— 365 00:13:58,851 --> 00:14:00,852 - I'm sorry, guys. - Jerry! 366 00:14:00,887 --> 00:14:02,387 I need my cheaters. I cannot see anyth— 367 00:14:02,421 --> 00:14:03,705 You're doing really good, you're doing really good. 368 00:14:03,739 --> 00:14:04,456 - Really? - Yeah. 369 00:14:04,491 --> 00:14:06,658 Help me, Agent Macklin, help me! 370 00:14:06,692 --> 00:14:09,160 He's stolen my jewels, and now he's going to ravish my body 371 00:14:09,195 --> 00:14:11,079 and he stinks, he really stinks! 372 00:14:11,130 --> 00:14:14,266 Okay, Janet Snakehole belongs to mother Russia now. 373 00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:15,533 Oh, that's what you think! 374 00:14:15,551 --> 00:14:17,535 - No. - I hope you like pain! 375 00:14:17,953 --> 00:14:19,054 Pow! 376 00:14:19,088 --> 00:14:20,222 Say the line. 377 00:14:20,256 --> 00:14:22,307 Looks like this Siberian husky 378 00:14:22,341 --> 00:14:24,809 is going to be Russian... 379 00:14:24,844 --> 00:14:27,512 off to jail. 380 00:14:27,946 --> 00:14:30,215 Hey, know what, can I go? Gayle is making a roast. 381 00:14:31,549 --> 00:14:32,250 Ugh. 382 00:14:44,371 --> 00:14:47,139 That was Symphony for the Righteous Destruction 383 00:14:47,173 --> 00:14:49,307 of Humanity in E minor. 384 00:14:49,342 --> 00:14:51,976 By the late Lou Prozotovich. 385 00:14:52,111 --> 00:14:55,147 Reminder. These flutes are available for purchase. 386 00:14:55,181 --> 00:14:57,349 You can't take it with you people. 387 00:14:57,383 --> 00:15:00,001 Herb, I just speed-read both of your books. 388 00:15:00,036 --> 00:15:01,169 - Ooh. - And, full disclosure, 389 00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:02,954 I think they're bonkers-filled. 390 00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:04,956 But I did notice that you're interested in reincarnation. 391 00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:06,491 Tell me about that. 392 00:15:06,526 --> 00:15:08,660 Well, it makes sense, doesn't it? 393 00:15:08,694 --> 00:15:13,181 From the universe, we emerge. Into the universe, we return. 394 00:15:13,216 --> 00:15:15,967 And there are infinite forms we can take 395 00:15:16,001 --> 00:15:18,520 in infinite universes. 396 00:15:19,054 --> 00:15:20,171 What a lovely thought. 397 00:15:20,189 --> 00:15:24,342 Well, this morning at dawn, you will take a new form. 398 00:15:24,377 --> 00:15:27,746 That of a fleshless, chattering skeleton 399 00:15:27,780 --> 00:15:31,783 when Zorp the surveyor arrives and burns your flesh off 400 00:15:31,817 --> 00:15:34,286 with his volcano mouth. 401 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:36,755 That was very strange what you just said. 402 00:15:36,789 --> 00:15:38,857 I don't like it as much as that other thing you said. 403 00:15:40,391 --> 00:15:41,593 Oh. 404 00:15:42,128 --> 00:15:44,379 Hey, hey, where you going? Where you headed off to? 405 00:15:44,413 --> 00:15:46,081 Do you want to play a fun game with me 406 00:15:46,115 --> 00:15:47,666 that I made up called chess-risk? 407 00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:50,702 It's half chess, half risk and takes like 15 hours to play. 408 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,404 Okay, yeah, I think I'm gonna go. 409 00:15:52,438 --> 00:15:55,173 - I—okay. - All right? 410 00:15:55,707 --> 00:15:57,609 - Oh, my God! - What? 411 00:15:57,643 --> 00:15:59,594 I forgot I have a thing I need to show you. 412 00:15:59,645 --> 00:16:01,346 Oh. 413 00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:03,148 I need to bring you there right now it's so amazing. 414 00:16:03,182 --> 00:16:04,649 It's going to freak you out. 415 00:16:04,684 --> 00:16:06,818 It's, uh, it's something that we need to 416 00:16:06,852 --> 00:16:09,387 get in my car and go to, so let's do that. 417 00:16:09,405 --> 00:16:10,405 - Okay. - Come on. 418 00:16:10,439 --> 00:16:11,357 Leslie, where are you going? 419 00:16:11,358 --> 00:16:13,725 I'm going to the thing that I told you about with Ben. 420 00:16:13,743 --> 00:16:15,160 No spoilers, Ann. She's been there before. 421 00:16:15,194 --> 00:16:16,761 - Let's go. - Okay. 422 00:16:18,114 --> 00:16:19,414 What's up, what's up? 423 00:16:19,448 --> 00:16:21,199 Are you guys having a good time tonight? 424 00:16:22,902 --> 00:16:25,136 I think we've gotta take things to the next level. 425 00:16:25,171 --> 00:16:26,271 Drum line, hit it! 426 00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:48,250 We've already been down this street. 427 00:16:48,301 --> 00:16:49,301 Just out of curiosity, 428 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:51,871 where's your favorite place to go like ever? 429 00:16:51,905 --> 00:16:53,472 Well, I don't know. 430 00:16:53,507 --> 00:16:54,832 Tom's party sounded kind of fun. 431 00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:56,417 Here we are! We're at the special place! 432 00:16:58,304 --> 00:17:02,991 Well, here we are. What do you think? 433 00:17:03,025 --> 00:17:05,860 Are you gonna murder me and bury me at this gas station? 434 00:17:05,861 --> 00:17:07,729 No, this is a great gas station. 435 00:17:07,763 --> 00:17:11,833 This gas station was owned by... Mick Jagger. 436 00:17:12,567 --> 00:17:13,401 Uh-huh. 437 00:17:13,435 --> 00:17:14,652 I came across some financial records 438 00:17:14,687 --> 00:17:16,154 when I was doing some research for my book, 439 00:17:16,188 --> 00:17:17,672 and this gas station was owned 440 00:17:17,706 --> 00:17:20,174 by an M. Jagger, which at first I thought was a woman. 441 00:17:20,209 --> 00:17:22,777 Maybe Meg or something, but I think 442 00:17:22,811 --> 00:17:24,779 the most likely explanation 443 00:17:24,813 --> 00:17:28,016 is that legendary Rolling Stones front man Mick Jagger 444 00:17:28,050 --> 00:17:31,319 owned this gas station from 1951 to 1958. 445 00:17:32,064 --> 00:17:34,164 - When he was eight. - Yeah. 446 00:17:34,165 --> 00:17:39,264 And I just knew you are a big fan of financial records, so... 447 00:17:39,265 --> 00:17:40,565 you're welcome. 448 00:17:41,278 --> 00:17:42,813 I know what you're doing, Leslie. 449 00:17:42,847 --> 00:17:45,382 I'm showing you a part of Rock and Roll history. 450 00:17:45,916 --> 00:17:48,652 You—you can't do this. You know we broke up. 451 00:17:49,386 --> 00:17:51,355 And I kind of feel like we shouldn't... 452 00:17:51,889 --> 00:17:54,525 Hang out together, just the two of us. 453 00:17:55,059 --> 00:17:57,094 Because every time we do, it just makes it harder. 454 00:17:57,828 --> 00:17:58,796 You know? 455 00:18:00,081 --> 00:18:01,164 Okay. 456 00:18:03,417 --> 00:18:04,535 Okay. 457 00:18:09,850 --> 00:18:11,150 This one will get me arrested. 458 00:18:11,151 --> 00:18:13,000 And this other one is impossible, 459 00:18:13,001 --> 00:18:15,297 because we need Eddie Vedder and a time machine. 460 00:18:15,298 --> 00:18:16,644 I think we've done everything on the list 461 00:18:16,645 --> 00:18:18,302 that we can actually do, so... 462 00:18:18,303 --> 00:18:21,144 - Really? - Yeah, I mean... this is it. 463 00:18:21,145 --> 00:18:22,729 What about this? 464 00:18:22,764 --> 00:18:24,848 Oh, my God, that would be awesome. 465 00:18:25,282 --> 00:18:26,750 - It's impossible. - No, it isn't. 466 00:18:27,284 --> 00:18:28,785 We have $1,000 in our bank account, 467 00:18:28,820 --> 00:18:30,020 and we're young and irresponsible. 468 00:18:31,257 --> 00:18:32,256 I mean, our car would break down. 469 00:18:32,290 --> 00:18:33,590 There's no way we could even get there. 470 00:18:33,625 --> 00:18:35,892 So I'll steal my dad's car. 471 00:18:36,410 --> 00:18:39,029 Look, this is a stupid idea, but right at this exact second, 472 00:18:39,063 --> 00:18:41,365 we have enough momentum to do something stupid 473 00:18:41,399 --> 00:18:43,266 before we realize how stupid it is. 474 00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:48,188 You are absolutely right. No thinking, just stupid. 475 00:18:48,339 --> 00:18:49,406 Yes! 476 00:18:49,424 --> 00:18:51,675 Buddhists feel that human beings 477 00:18:51,709 --> 00:18:54,378 are unlikely to be reincarnated as human beings. 478 00:18:54,412 --> 00:18:56,847 So the problem with reincarnation 479 00:18:56,881 --> 00:18:58,949 is that you could be reborn as a pretzel. 480 00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:01,218 Or a socket wrench. 481 00:19:01,852 --> 00:19:02,853 Ron, if you could be reincarnated, 482 00:19:02,887 --> 00:19:04,488 what would you like to be? 483 00:19:04,522 --> 00:19:07,324 Socket wrench sounds pretty good, actually. 484 00:19:07,544 --> 00:19:10,513 I think the danger in believing in reincarnation 485 00:19:10,547 --> 00:19:12,348 is that you spend so much time trying to figure out 486 00:19:12,382 --> 00:19:14,050 what you're going to be in the next lifetime 487 00:19:14,084 --> 00:19:16,519 that you forget to enjoy the one you're in now. 488 00:19:17,053 --> 00:19:20,423 Ann Perkins... that was beautiful. 489 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:22,750 Let's go to that party that Tom's having. 490 00:19:23,251 --> 00:19:24,650 Have some fun in the life. 491 00:19:25,350 --> 00:19:26,651 Sounds good! 492 00:19:28,050 --> 00:19:30,150 Wait. I wanna change my answer. 493 00:19:30,151 --> 00:19:32,150 I'll go with ball cutters. 494 00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:45,147 Maybe you'll reincarnate into a good dancer. 495 00:19:46,406 --> 00:19:49,550 Ann Perkins, you dig me. I love that! 496 00:19:53,850 --> 00:19:56,169 Tommy, this is the best party I've ever been to. 497 00:19:56,170 --> 00:19:57,470 And I'm not just saying that. 498 00:19:57,471 --> 00:19:59,766 For real, T.T., think about it, man. 499 00:19:59,767 --> 00:20:03,150 Drum lines, personalized gift bags, tigers. 500 00:20:03,151 --> 00:20:05,850 It's pretty great. But it's not perfect. 501 00:20:05,851 --> 00:20:07,352 I mean, David Beckham didn't show up. 502 00:20:07,353 --> 00:20:08,752 You knew that was a long shot. 503 00:20:09,153 --> 00:20:10,750 Honestly, this is perfect. 504 00:20:11,151 --> 00:20:12,250 I guess. 505 00:20:12,765 --> 00:20:13,799 Tom. 506 00:20:14,334 --> 00:20:16,935 Hey, Lucy, what are you doing here? 507 00:20:16,953 --> 00:20:18,603 Jean-Ralphio called me and told me 508 00:20:18,621 --> 00:20:20,339 that this was a very special occasion 509 00:20:20,373 --> 00:20:21,840 and I should come down. 510 00:20:21,875 --> 00:20:23,075 It's nice to see you. 511 00:20:23,109 --> 00:20:24,743 Yeah, good to see you too. 512 00:20:24,777 --> 00:20:25,878 Want to go dance? 513 00:20:25,912 --> 00:20:27,546 Yeah, yeah! Uh, give me a minute. 514 00:20:27,580 --> 00:20:28,581 Okay. 515 00:20:30,115 --> 00:20:31,950 I can't believe you called her for me. 516 00:20:32,485 --> 00:20:33,886 That's really nice of you, man, for real. 517 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:35,187 Thanks. 518 00:20:35,221 --> 00:20:36,955 No, no, no, thank you. 519 00:20:36,973 --> 00:20:38,559 I mean for everything. 520 00:20:45,014 --> 00:20:46,765 I actually forgot they ever dated. 521 00:20:46,799 --> 00:20:48,601 I was trying to hit that. 522 00:20:49,635 --> 00:20:52,037 Dawn is nigh! 523 00:20:52,071 --> 00:20:55,107 Zorp the surveyor approaches, 524 00:20:55,141 --> 00:20:58,643 and all earthly debts will be repaid 525 00:20:58,951 --> 00:21:02,000 to the original source of life in the universe. 526 00:21:02,501 --> 00:21:04,550 Last call for doughnuts. 527 00:21:06,650 --> 00:21:09,050 What would you do if the word was really gonna end? 528 00:21:10,650 --> 00:21:13,949 I'd go home, drink some whisky. 529 00:21:13,950 --> 00:21:16,149 Then I'd go see my ex-wives. 530 00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:18,350 - Really? - Yeah. 531 00:21:18,952 --> 00:21:22,050 I wanna watch them meet their fiery end with my own eyes. 532 00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:24,950 What would you do? 533 00:21:26,231 --> 00:21:28,249 Can I speak with you about a personal matter? 534 00:21:29,283 --> 00:21:31,386 Normally, no. 535 00:21:31,420 --> 00:21:33,705 But... given there's only 20 minutes 536 00:21:33,739 --> 00:21:35,590 until the end of human existence... 537 00:21:36,024 --> 00:21:37,191 Also, no. 538 00:21:37,226 --> 00:21:38,793 I lost my mind tonight. 539 00:21:38,827 --> 00:21:42,697 I tried to screw up even the potential of Ben 540 00:21:42,731 --> 00:21:44,031 dating someone else. 541 00:21:44,066 --> 00:21:45,800 Did you not hear me when I said no? 542 00:21:45,834 --> 00:21:47,969 Oh, we broke up because of me. 543 00:21:48,503 --> 00:21:51,639 But I have to tell you, Ron... 544 00:21:53,575 --> 00:21:56,043 If the world was ending tomorrow, 545 00:21:56,778 --> 00:21:59,113 I'd want to be with him. 546 00:22:00,148 --> 00:22:02,984 Well, that's significant. 547 00:22:03,018 --> 00:22:06,988 Problem is, Leslie, the world's not ending tomorrow. 548 00:22:07,022 --> 00:22:09,424 The sun's going to rise right over there. 549 00:22:09,958 --> 00:22:12,193 It'll be a regular Friday, 550 00:22:12,227 --> 00:22:14,862 and you'll be in the exact same position you were in before. 551 00:22:15,897 --> 00:22:16,931 I know. 552 00:22:17,233 --> 00:22:19,273 I made my decision, I need to stick to it. 553 00:22:20,151 --> 00:22:21,650 It's just the thought of him with someone else 554 00:22:21,651 --> 00:22:22,950 is making me miserable. 555 00:22:22,951 --> 00:22:25,550 If it makes you feel any better, Leslie, 556 00:22:25,551 --> 00:22:27,718 we'll all be dead in 20 minutes. 557 00:22:28,650 --> 00:22:31,950 That does make me feel better. Thank you, Herb. 558 00:22:31,951 --> 00:22:33,850 Guy's have ears like a fruit bat. 559 00:22:47,138 --> 00:22:49,790 - We did it! - Yay! 560 00:22:49,824 --> 00:22:51,308 This car is nice! 561 00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:53,643 How long you think it'll take us? 562 00:22:53,694 --> 00:22:55,962 Uh, the map says 30 hours but I drive really fast. 563 00:22:55,963 --> 00:22:57,330 - 30 hours? - Mm-hmm. 564 00:22:57,764 --> 00:22:59,365 Oh, crap! I didn't bring any music. 565 00:22:59,366 --> 00:23:01,400 - No! - Your dad got anything good? 566 00:23:02,350 --> 00:23:05,650 Starlight Express, the original cast recording, act 1. 567 00:23:05,651 --> 00:23:08,450 Who moved my cheese? Book on tape. 568 00:23:08,451 --> 00:23:10,650 - Next. - Bobby McFerrin? 569 00:23:11,151 --> 00:23:14,250 No! We cannot listen Bobby McFerrin for 60 hours of driving 570 00:23:14,251 --> 00:23:16,049 we'd murder each other. 571 00:23:16,234 --> 00:23:17,735 I'll tell you what. 572 00:23:17,769 --> 00:23:19,570 You play whatever you want, 573 00:23:20,104 --> 00:23:21,972 I'm just going to take a real quick snooze 574 00:23:22,007 --> 00:23:24,041 for like 12 hours so I'm fresh. 575 00:23:32,082 --> 00:23:33,250 Thank you guys so much for coming out. 576 00:23:33,285 --> 00:23:34,918 If you're too drunk to drive, 577 00:23:34,936 --> 00:23:37,271 please take one of our shuttles home. 578 00:23:37,305 --> 00:23:39,823 Valet service will drop your car off later today. 579 00:23:39,858 --> 00:23:41,758 If you're one of our designated drivers, 580 00:23:41,776 --> 00:23:43,394 please take a "thank you" bag. 581 00:23:43,428 --> 00:23:47,314 And enjoy the giant bows I put on your car. 582 00:23:47,365 --> 00:23:49,333 - Hey! - Hey. 583 00:23:49,367 --> 00:23:50,701 - It's great seeing you. - You too. 584 00:23:50,735 --> 00:23:53,153 Are, uh, you sticking around for a bit, or... 585 00:23:53,204 --> 00:23:54,838 Nah, I'm heading to Bloomington right now. 586 00:23:54,873 --> 00:23:56,540 - Oh. - Grad school's fun, 587 00:23:56,574 --> 00:23:58,659 but I do miss this town. 588 00:23:59,210 --> 00:24:01,245 - Yeah. - What's wrong? 589 00:24:02,279 --> 00:24:03,247 I don't know. 590 00:24:03,281 --> 00:24:05,499 After this is done, I'm gonna be broke, 591 00:24:05,550 --> 00:24:07,351 and I'm not gonna have a job. 592 00:24:07,385 --> 00:24:08,802 Well, if it's any consolation, 593 00:24:09,337 --> 00:24:11,672 this was honestly the best party I've ever been to. 594 00:24:12,523 --> 00:24:13,307 Hey, it was pretty great. 595 00:24:13,341 --> 00:24:16,427 I-I was really aiming for something— 596 00:24:19,464 --> 00:24:23,434 I'll see you around. 597 00:24:23,468 --> 00:24:25,569 Whoo. 598 00:24:26,103 --> 00:24:27,439 You saw that. 599 00:24:28,773 --> 00:24:29,873 You saw that too. 600 00:24:34,346 --> 00:24:36,680 Shauna Malwae-Tweep thinks you're cute. 601 00:24:37,215 --> 00:24:38,365 - What? - That's why I took you 602 00:24:38,416 --> 00:24:39,816 to Mick Jagger's abandoned gas station. 603 00:24:39,834 --> 00:24:41,251 Because she thinks you're cute, and I was afraid 604 00:24:41,286 --> 00:24:42,586 you guys were gonna make out and have babies, 605 00:24:42,620 --> 00:24:44,488 and I had no right to do that to you 606 00:24:44,506 --> 00:24:46,507 or your future children. 607 00:24:46,541 --> 00:24:48,459 And it wasn't until just now 608 00:24:48,493 --> 00:24:50,794 that I realized the romantic part 609 00:24:50,829 --> 00:24:53,564 of our relationship is over. 610 00:24:53,598 --> 00:24:55,432 So... I'm sorry. 611 00:24:55,467 --> 00:24:58,335 And, uh, why don't you tell Shauna to make herself decent 612 00:24:58,370 --> 00:25:00,904 and I'll apologize to her as well. 613 00:25:01,739 --> 00:25:03,976 Oh, well, Shauna's not here. 614 00:25:06,710 --> 00:25:08,278 - Oh. - See what I did? 615 00:25:08,313 --> 00:25:09,346 - I do. - I'm very sneaky. 616 00:25:10,764 --> 00:25:12,182 Okay, okay, well... 617 00:25:46,050 --> 00:25:47,217 It's so much more beautiful 618 00:25:47,252 --> 00:25:48,752 than I could have ever even imagined. 619 00:25:49,287 --> 00:25:50,888 Yeah. 620 00:25:51,322 --> 00:25:54,108 I'm trying to find a way to be annoyed by it, but... 621 00:25:54,859 --> 00:25:56,160 Coming up empty. 622 00:25:56,594 --> 00:25:58,245 Thank you so much. 623 00:25:58,279 --> 00:26:01,031 I never would have ever done this without you. 624 00:26:01,665 --> 00:26:02,633 Thank you. 625 00:26:07,088 --> 00:26:08,341 Where's all the faces? 626 00:26:09,588 --> 00:26:11,041 Like the presidents. 627 00:26:14,338 --> 00:26:16,535 Frankly, Leslie, I'm shocked. 628 00:26:16,705 --> 00:26:20,108 All the scholarly work that I did on these texts 629 00:26:20,142 --> 00:26:22,944 indicated that the world would end. 630 00:26:22,978 --> 00:26:25,046 Oh, gosh, I'm as disappointed as you are, Herb. 631 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:27,249 Yeah, but when the world did not end, 632 00:26:27,380 --> 00:26:30,649 I went home and began to reevaluate the texts. 633 00:26:30,783 --> 00:26:31,751 You don't say. 634 00:26:31,785 --> 00:26:35,654 And I realized that I'd made some crucial errors. 635 00:26:35,688 --> 00:26:37,123 Well, math is hard. 636 00:26:37,157 --> 00:26:41,009 Yes, well, the actual end of the world is six months from now. 637 00:26:41,422 --> 00:26:42,821 - Great! - Yeah. 638 00:26:42,822 --> 00:26:45,321 - May 19th. - Okay, let's see what we've got. 639 00:26:45,395 --> 00:26:47,963 Um, oh, on the 19th we can't give you the park. 640 00:26:47,964 --> 00:26:51,216 We have a spring spectacular free ice cream giveaway. 641 00:26:51,564 --> 00:26:53,216 Oh... Oh... look here. 642 00:26:53,267 --> 00:26:55,018 Heh! I misspoke. 643 00:26:55,053 --> 00:26:57,037 Yeah, it's May 20? 644 00:26:58,071 --> 00:26:59,039 That is free. 645 00:26:59,073 --> 00:27:00,473 - Ah! - Okay. 646 00:27:00,507 --> 00:27:02,108 End of World, May 20th. 647 00:27:02,109 --> 00:27:02,921 That's great. 648 00:27:02,922 --> 00:27:04,921 Uhm... Oh, and could you 649 00:27:04,922 --> 00:27:08,621 put aside 10 tickets for that ice cream thing? 650 00:27:08,722 --> 00:27:09,922 Already did. 651 00:27:10,305 --> 00:27:13,055 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com 652 00:27:13,407 --> 00:27:16,083 Sync for WEBDL: VeRdiKT