1
00:00:01,055 --> 00:00:02,354
Oh hey, Ben.

2
00:00:02,355 --> 00:00:04,954
Have you seen my complete
collection of all

3
00:00:04,955 --> 00:00:06,506
193 national flags?

4
00:00:06,855 --> 00:00:08,506
Ooh! Here they are.

5
00:00:09,255 --> 00:00:10,254
Wow!

6
00:00:10,355 --> 00:00:13,254
So, I've been asked to run
this year's Model UN

7
00:00:13,355 --> 00:00:14,854
at Pawnee Central High School.

8
00:00:15,055 --> 00:00:16,154
Attendance has been low.

9
00:00:16,555 --> 00:00:18,954
And if I don't make it awesome,
they may cancel it.

10
00:00:20,155 --> 00:00:22,454
I wonder if I'm gonna make it awesome.

11
00:00:23,255 --> 00:00:25,654
Or I can be South Korea,
you can be Bangladesh.

12
00:00:25,655 --> 00:00:28,106
You can form like a
Trans-Asiatic alliance.

13
00:00:28,157 --> 00:00:29,991
Yeah, I like it.
And I see the merits of it.

14
00:00:30,026 --> 00:00:31,859
I just worry
if we're both in Asia,

15
00:00:31,893 --> 00:00:33,828
- it might limit our scope.
- Mm.

16
00:00:33,863 --> 00:00:35,330
I kinda want to roll up
my sleeves

17
00:00:35,364 --> 00:00:37,866
and make geopolitical
problem-solving my bitch.

18
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:39,400
Amen, brother.

19
00:00:39,418 --> 00:00:42,003
Let's go back to plan "A."
I'll be Denmark, you be Peru.

20
00:00:42,237 --> 00:00:42,921
Yes!

21
00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:44,239
Oh, I didn't really do

22
00:00:44,773 --> 00:00:47,642
Model United Nations
in high school, so...

23
00:00:47,676 --> 00:00:50,044
Oh, wait.
I super-did.

24
00:00:50,078 --> 00:00:51,429
I need a few more
volunteers.

25
00:00:51,464 --> 00:00:52,681
Andy, will you be Iceland?

26
00:00:52,715 --> 00:00:54,049
The bad guys
from Mighty Ducks 2?

27
00:00:54,083 --> 00:00:55,817
- Don't think so.
- Okay, how about Japan?

28
00:00:55,851 --> 00:00:57,852
The bad guys
from Karate Kid 2?

29
00:00:58,387 --> 00:01:00,938
Even worse.
How 'bout Germany?

30
00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:02,523
They've never been
the bad guys.

31
00:01:02,558 --> 00:01:03,941
Why don't you be Finland?

32
00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:05,109
- Okay.
- Okay?

33
00:01:05,144 --> 00:01:06,361
And I'll be the Moon.

34
00:01:06,395 --> 00:01:08,613
No, you're gonna be
South Africa or...

35
00:01:08,648 --> 00:01:10,782
- Pakistan.
- I'm the Moon, or I quit.

36
00:01:10,816 --> 00:01:12,767
- April.
- Moon or quit, man.

37
00:01:12,802 --> 00:01:14,235
Fine. You be South Africa,

38
00:01:14,270 --> 00:01:15,820
and you can also secretly
run the moon.

39
00:01:15,855 --> 00:01:18,072
The Moon accepts
your ridiculous proposal.

40
00:01:18,107 --> 00:01:19,324
Ron! You wanna join us?

41
00:01:19,358 --> 00:01:20,942
Look!
I'll let you be America.

42
00:01:22,812 --> 00:01:25,079
And teach kids that not
only is government good

43
00:01:25,114 --> 00:01:28,199
but that there should be
a World-wide super-government?

44
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:30,702
I'd rather sand down
my toenails.

45
00:01:30,753 --> 00:01:33,621
Every three weeks, I have
to sand down my toenails.

46
00:01:34,356 --> 00:01:36,124
They're too strong
for clippers.

47
00:01:39,161 --> 00:01:44,385
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com

48
00:01:57,712 --> 00:01:58,446
Excuse me.

49
00:01:58,481 --> 00:02:00,648
Are you Leslie Knope?
Oh, what am I talking about?

50
00:02:00,682 --> 00:02:03,885
- Of course you are.
- Bonjour, Madame Ambassadeur.

51
00:02:04,219 --> 00:02:05,703
Thank you so much for coming

52
00:02:05,738 --> 00:02:07,922
and trying to help save
our club.

53
00:02:07,957 --> 00:02:09,240
We're so excited to see

54
00:02:09,291 --> 00:02:11,376
a true Pawnee Model U.N.
legend in action.

55
00:02:11,410 --> 00:02:12,660
- Thank you. - I really wouldn't
describe myself

56
00:02:12,695 --> 00:02:14,829
as a Model U.N. legend.

57
00:02:14,864 --> 00:02:17,582
I'd go with icon.
Or hero.

58
00:02:18,133 --> 00:02:20,735
Look, if you ask me,
Enron is down but not out.

59
00:02:20,769 --> 00:02:22,904
Who doesn't like
a comeback story?

60
00:02:22,938 --> 00:02:25,607
All right, you wanna hear
my plan, get at me later.

61
00:02:25,641 --> 00:02:27,141
I gotta meet up
with an old friend.

62
00:02:27,176 --> 00:02:28,426
All right, peace, man.

63
00:02:28,977 --> 00:02:30,278
Let's go do this lunch thing.

64
00:02:30,312 --> 00:02:32,180
I just have one more
quick interview.

65
00:02:32,214 --> 00:02:34,782
I'm still trying to find
your replacement.

66
00:02:34,817 --> 00:02:37,852
That is, unless you want
your old job back.

67
00:02:37,887 --> 00:02:40,021
I told you before, Ronseph,
I moved on to bigger things.

68
00:02:40,055 --> 00:02:43,074
E720 going under
was a blessing.

69
00:02:43,108 --> 00:02:45,193
I'm tearing it up
all over town like a boss.

70
00:02:45,227 --> 00:02:47,161
Sounds great, Tommy.

71
00:02:47,196 --> 00:02:49,948
I've offered Tom his job back
several times,

72
00:02:49,999 --> 00:02:52,000
and each time he's told me
he's just too busy

73
00:02:52,034 --> 00:02:53,785
being an entrepreneur.

74
00:02:53,836 --> 00:02:55,136
Then two days ago,

75
00:02:55,170 --> 00:02:58,172
I saw him spraying cologne
samples at Macy's.

76
00:02:58,207 --> 00:03:00,842
The young man
has a lot of pride.

77
00:03:00,876 --> 00:03:02,944
This isn't gonna be easy.

78
00:03:03,978 --> 00:03:04,845
Ann Perkins.

79
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,214
- Hey, Chris, how's it going?
- Not good.

80
00:03:06,248 --> 00:03:07,649
- Can I talk to you?
- Okay.

81
00:03:08,183 --> 00:03:09,417
I'm not sure
if you're aware,

82
00:03:09,451 --> 00:03:10,785
but I am romantically
involved

83
00:03:11,019 --> 00:03:13,420
with Jerry Gergich's
surprisingly hot daughter

84
00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:14,588
- Millicent Gergich.
- Yeah.

85
00:03:14,623 --> 00:03:15,956
You were grinding with her
pretty hard

86
00:03:15,991 --> 00:03:17,424
at April's Halloween party.

87
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:19,927
That's correct. Anyway,
we've been on four dates,

88
00:03:19,961 --> 00:03:20,912
but now Millicent Gergich

89
00:03:20,963 --> 00:03:23,063
hasn't returned
my last two phone calls.

90
00:03:23,098 --> 00:03:25,149
I think the relationship
may be in trouble,

91
00:03:25,183 --> 00:03:26,400
and I don't know why.

92
00:03:26,435 --> 00:03:28,202
Wow. A four-date-long
relationship

93
00:03:28,237 --> 00:03:30,237
might not be 100% perfect?

94
00:03:30,272 --> 00:03:33,073
I think you should launch
a full-scale investigation.

95
00:03:33,108 --> 00:03:35,710
The root of sarcasm
is truth, Ann.

96
00:03:35,744 --> 00:03:37,996
I am going to launch
a full-scale investigation.

97
00:03:38,530 --> 00:03:41,048
And I sincerely thank you
for that suggestion.

98
00:03:41,083 --> 00:03:43,951
Glad I could help
in these trying times.

99
00:03:43,985 --> 00:03:45,787
Sarcasm again!

100
00:03:45,821 --> 00:03:48,756
You're a delight.

101
00:03:48,791 --> 00:03:51,025
You've all been
preparing for months

102
00:03:51,059 --> 00:03:52,877
for this year's
geopolitical scenario...

103
00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:54,862
global food crisis.

104
00:03:54,897 --> 00:03:58,432
Security Council,
we need you to lead us,

105
00:03:58,467 --> 00:04:00,968
or billions of people
will starve to death.

106
00:04:01,003 --> 00:04:04,105
But most importantly,
have fun.

107
00:04:04,139 --> 00:04:05,706
Due to my campaign,

108
00:04:05,741 --> 00:04:08,342
the romantic aspect
of our relationship is over.

109
00:04:08,377 --> 00:04:09,811
And I'm totally fine
with that.

110
00:04:09,845 --> 00:04:11,746
But Ben and I have so much
in common.

111
00:04:11,780 --> 00:04:13,231
I mean,
we're amazing friends.

112
00:04:13,282 --> 00:04:14,615
And friendship is better

113
00:04:14,650 --> 00:04:16,450
because friends help you move.

114
00:04:16,485 --> 00:04:18,870
They drive you to the airport.

115
00:04:18,904 --> 00:04:22,657
Boyfriends just...
love you and marry you.

116
00:04:24,743 --> 00:04:26,961
Jerry! I am launching
a full-scale investigation

117
00:04:26,995 --> 00:04:28,629
into my romantic relationship
with your daughter

118
00:04:28,664 --> 00:04:29,964
Millicent Gergich,

119
00:04:29,998 --> 00:04:31,749
and I thought I could pick
your brain.

120
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,301
Aw, jeez, I really shouldn't
be involved in someth...

121
00:04:33,335 --> 00:04:35,636
Quick recap...
things were going wonderfully.

122
00:04:35,671 --> 00:04:37,505
We clicked
on an emotional level.

123
00:04:37,539 --> 00:04:39,841
And then suddenly, I just
stopped hearing from her.

124
00:04:39,875 --> 00:04:42,727
Now, you must know her
pretty well... what gives?

125
00:04:42,761 --> 00:04:43,945
Here's what I saw go down.

126
00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:45,429
Donna! Yeah!
Get in on this.

127
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:46,764
You're too accessible.

128
00:04:46,815 --> 00:04:48,683
Every time she calls,
you answer.

129
00:04:48,717 --> 00:04:50,618
You gotta dangle the carrot,

130
00:04:50,652 --> 00:04:52,119
literally
and metaphorically.

131
00:04:52,154 --> 00:04:53,738
- Thank you, Donna!
- Thanks, Donna.

132
00:04:53,772 --> 00:04:56,357
So... Courtney.

133
00:04:56,391 --> 00:04:58,659
This says you retired
in 1968.

134
00:04:58,694 --> 00:05:00,027
No, no, no.

135
00:05:00,062 --> 00:05:03,998
I was fired because I made
a pass at an ethnic woman.

136
00:05:04,032 --> 00:05:07,301
And what have you been doing
for the last 43 years?

137
00:05:07,336 --> 00:05:09,270
Oh, you know,
hitchhiking around.

138
00:05:09,304 --> 00:05:12,340
I went to Mexico.
I met a lot of ethnic girls.

139
00:05:12,374 --> 00:05:14,508
They grow on trees
down there.

140
00:05:14,543 --> 00:05:16,210
I was in jail for a spell...

141
00:05:16,244 --> 00:05:18,880
That about
brings it up to date.

142
00:05:18,914 --> 00:05:20,247
Sounds to me
like you're ready

143
00:05:20,265 --> 00:05:22,016
to get back in the game,
Courtney.

144
00:05:22,050 --> 00:05:24,085
We'll be in touch.

145
00:05:25,587 --> 00:05:27,471
Another very strong
candidate.

146
00:05:27,522 --> 00:05:28,890
Are you insane?

147
00:05:28,924 --> 00:05:30,391
He was a million-year-old
racist!

148
00:05:30,425 --> 00:05:33,127
He said he liked
ethnic girls, Tom.

149
00:05:33,161 --> 00:05:34,829
I'm sorry, Ron,
but I created a legacy here,

150
00:05:34,863 --> 00:05:36,230
and I need to make sure
it's protected.

151
00:05:36,764 --> 00:05:37,865
Let's bring in
some more people.

152
00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:39,200
In my four years here,

153
00:05:39,234 --> 00:05:41,636
I revolutionized the position
of administrator

154
00:05:41,670 --> 00:05:43,070
and made this place cool.

155
00:05:43,105 --> 00:05:44,538
I was the first person

156
00:05:44,573 --> 00:05:46,007
to abbreviate Parks and
Recreation Department.

157
00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:47,475
First it was
Parks and Recreation.

158
00:05:47,509 --> 00:05:48,709
Then Parks and Rec.

159
00:05:48,744 --> 00:05:50,144
Then P&R.

160
00:05:50,178 --> 00:05:52,746
Then lengthened it
just a little bit to...

161
00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:54,148
Tommy's place.

162
00:05:54,682 --> 00:05:56,250
Okay, wait a minute.
I think I have it.

163
00:05:56,284 --> 00:05:57,718
What if we dropped
interest rates.

164
00:05:57,753 --> 00:05:59,020
- Would that help you?
- Maybe.

165
00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:00,721
But what if Brazil
and Argentina

166
00:06:00,756 --> 00:06:02,840
use their oil deposits
as collateral?

167
00:06:02,891 --> 00:06:04,525
Oh, that's really good.

168
00:06:04,559 --> 00:06:06,027
Under-exaggerate much,
France?

169
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:07,194
Ha ha!

170
00:06:07,229 --> 00:06:08,846
Nice!

171
00:06:11,065 --> 00:06:11,565
Hey, Leslie, you ready?

172
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,100
- Oh! - Ow.
- Sorry. - That's okay.

173
00:06:13,134 --> 00:06:14,352
- Hi, William.
- Hi. You ready?

174
00:06:14,403 --> 00:06:17,855
Yes. Absolutely. Um... They
want me to do a photo op

175
00:06:17,906 --> 00:06:19,073
for the campaign

176
00:06:19,108 --> 00:06:20,942
so I can bolster
my education credentials.

177
00:06:20,976 --> 00:06:23,611
- Can we just press pause here?
- How long is it gonna take?

178
00:06:23,645 --> 00:06:24,279
I'm not really sure.

179
00:06:24,313 --> 00:06:26,331
Can you just tread water
until I'm ready?

180
00:06:26,365 --> 00:06:27,649
Oh, sure, yeah.

181
00:06:27,683 --> 00:06:29,000
I'll just tread water
until you're ready.

182
00:06:29,034 --> 00:06:30,118
Thanks, buddy.

183
00:06:30,153 --> 00:06:32,286
Leslie and I
aren't dating anymore,

184
00:06:32,321 --> 00:06:33,754
but, uh, we're friends.

185
00:06:33,789 --> 00:06:35,756
So it's fun.
It's just fun.

186
00:06:35,791 --> 00:06:39,460
It's fun...
it's... fun...

187
00:06:39,494 --> 00:06:41,362
It is fun.

188
00:06:41,396 --> 00:06:43,264
Thanks a lot.

189
00:06:43,298 --> 00:06:44,632
Yes!

190
00:06:44,666 --> 00:06:48,436
Honey! I just traded Finland's
military to Kenya

191
00:06:48,470 --> 00:06:50,771
for 50 lions.

192
00:06:51,306 --> 00:06:52,640
That's pretty good, right?

193
00:06:52,674 --> 00:06:54,392
- Yeah...
- Okay.

194
00:06:54,443 --> 00:06:56,777
But also militaries
are pretty good

195
00:06:56,812 --> 00:06:58,446
at protecting countries.

196
00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,014
But so are lions.

197
00:07:00,048 --> 00:07:01,732
And you don't have to
pay them.

198
00:07:01,783 --> 00:07:03,050
These kids are idiots.

199
00:07:03,085 --> 00:07:04,785
I've just traded
all of Finland's boring stuff

200
00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:06,654
for every other country's
lions?

201
00:07:06,688 --> 00:07:08,889
I definitely have more lions

202
00:07:08,924 --> 00:07:11,025
than any other country
in the whole world right now.

203
00:07:11,059 --> 00:07:12,460
I have no idea
what's going on.

204
00:07:12,494 --> 00:07:14,462
But if that ends up meaning
something in this game,

205
00:07:14,896 --> 00:07:16,897
I'd say I'm set.

206
00:07:19,418 --> 00:07:20,801
Hey, so Russia and China

207
00:07:20,836 --> 00:07:22,253
are about to propose
their own plan,

208
00:07:22,304 --> 00:07:24,005
so the kids kinda want
to get ours out there.

209
00:07:24,039 --> 00:07:26,807
Oh, okay... this should probably
only take five more minutes.

210
00:07:26,842 --> 00:07:28,426
Let's say 10 or 15
to be safe.

211
00:07:28,477 --> 00:07:30,227
Well, how about
me make it a cool 40?

212
00:07:30,262 --> 00:07:31,929
I'm sorry.
It's just important.

213
00:07:31,980 --> 00:07:34,348
Well, this is important too.
It's kinda why we came here.

214
00:07:34,382 --> 00:07:36,400
I'm sorry, could you...
Just step over here?

215
00:07:36,435 --> 00:07:38,903
- You're in the shot.
- Oh, of course.

216
00:07:39,437 --> 00:07:40,771
Her life is so awesome.

217
00:07:41,522 --> 00:07:42,423
You're lucky you're friends
with her.

218
00:07:42,458 --> 00:07:44,992
Shut up, Bulgaria!

219
00:07:46,713 --> 00:07:48,605
I know, well, that's the
great thing about treaties,

220
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,322
- It doesn't even matter.
- Hey! I'm back.

221
00:07:50,856 --> 00:07:52,207
Or, as they say in Denmark...
"I'm back."

222
00:07:52,241 --> 00:07:53,474
Most people speak English.

223
00:07:53,492 --> 00:07:55,443
So are you guys ready
to polish off this treaty?

224
00:07:55,477 --> 00:07:58,896
Oh, uh... actually,
I merged our treaty

225
00:07:58,931 --> 00:08:01,366
with Russia
and China's treaty.

226
00:08:01,917 --> 00:08:03,418
I got cut out
of my own treaty?

227
00:08:03,452 --> 00:08:05,503
Yeah. I got sick
of treading water,

228
00:08:05,537 --> 00:08:08,790
so I swam over to Asia,
made a deal.

229
00:08:09,824 --> 00:08:12,426
The nation of Denmark
would like to formerly request

230
00:08:12,461 --> 00:08:13,962
a summit
with the nation of Peru

231
00:08:13,996 --> 00:08:15,963
over there
by the refreshment table.

232
00:08:15,997 --> 00:08:18,767
Because the nation of Denmark
needs a juice box.

233
00:08:19,501 --> 00:08:21,469
I am shocked an appalled
by the actions

234
00:08:21,503 --> 00:08:23,571
of the honorable delegate
from Peru.

235
00:08:23,605 --> 00:08:25,573
Leslie, just...

236
00:08:25,607 --> 00:08:27,541
look...

237
00:08:27,576 --> 00:08:29,393
I thought I could handle
being friends with you.

238
00:08:29,444 --> 00:08:31,812
But I can't, okay?

239
00:08:31,847 --> 00:08:33,080
Now, we agreed the other night

240
00:08:33,115 --> 00:08:36,250
that we can't spend time
together.

241
00:08:36,285 --> 00:08:38,119
I think that was
the right call.

242
00:08:38,153 --> 00:08:39,403
But that was in
a romantic way.

243
00:08:39,454 --> 00:08:41,722
We can still spend time
together as friends.

244
00:08:41,757 --> 00:08:43,157
It doesn't work that way.

245
00:08:43,191 --> 00:08:45,293
You can't just chop up
the aspects of a relationship

246
00:08:45,327 --> 00:08:46,577
into discrete parts

247
00:08:46,628 --> 00:08:49,080
and select the ones you want
like a buffet.

248
00:08:49,131 --> 00:08:52,333
- Why not?
- Because it's selfish.

249
00:08:52,367 --> 00:08:54,902
Stop being obtuse.

250
00:08:54,936 --> 00:08:56,937
Look, I understand
where he's coming from.

251
00:08:56,972 --> 00:08:58,973
But I have been nothing
but straightforward with him,

252
00:08:59,007 --> 00:09:01,175
and if anyone
in the entire world

253
00:09:01,209 --> 00:09:03,678
should understand the difficult
position I'm in, it's...

254
00:09:03,712 --> 00:09:06,430
It's just I've made an effort

255
00:09:06,481 --> 00:09:08,399
and I've shared
my flags with him,

256
00:09:08,433 --> 00:09:10,284
and suddenly,
he doesn't want to be friends?

257
00:09:10,319 --> 00:09:11,019
You know what?

258
00:09:11,053 --> 00:09:13,354
That leaves me
with only one option.

259
00:09:13,388 --> 00:09:15,189
Just excuse me for a...

260
00:09:16,291 --> 00:09:18,593
Attention.
This is an urgent world matter.

261
00:09:18,627 --> 00:09:20,911
Due to a recent betrayal,
my homeland,

262
00:09:20,946 --> 00:09:21,996
the great state of Denmark,

263
00:09:22,031 --> 00:09:25,282
has officially decided
to declare war on Peru.

264
00:09:25,334 --> 00:09:28,636
Scandinavian brothers,
on my signal.

265
00:09:28,670 --> 00:09:30,538
Unleash hell!

266
00:09:32,841 --> 00:09:35,626
See, I just don't believe
in this whole

267
00:09:35,677 --> 00:09:37,678
don't let people know
how you feel nonsense.

268
00:09:37,713 --> 00:09:39,647
I love telling people
how I feel.

269
00:09:39,681 --> 00:09:40,914
Mostly because
I love most people.

270
00:09:40,932 --> 00:09:42,433
And I love telling them
that I love them.

271
00:09:42,467 --> 00:09:43,984
You didn't tell that girl
you love her, did you?

272
00:09:44,019 --> 00:09:46,020
- No. I'm not crazy.
- What is this urgent meeting

273
00:09:46,054 --> 00:09:47,471
with Donna and Jerry?

274
00:09:47,522 --> 00:09:48,806
Ann Perkins.
I took your advice.

275
00:09:48,858 --> 00:09:50,625
- My sarcastic advice.
- Precisely.

276
00:09:50,659 --> 00:09:51,560
And we're getting
to the bottom

277
00:09:51,594 --> 00:09:53,978
of what's going on
with me and Jerry's daughter,

278
00:09:54,029 --> 00:09:55,479
and I thought you would be
a tremendous addition

279
00:09:55,530 --> 00:09:56,698
to this think tank.

280
00:09:56,732 --> 00:09:58,699
This is incredibly
inappropriate.

281
00:09:58,734 --> 00:10:00,818
- Oh, thank you!
- Okay, I'm game.

282
00:10:02,270 --> 00:10:03,871
No. I'm not kidding.

283
00:10:03,905 --> 00:10:05,823
My name's Gary,
and I'm from Gary, Indiana.

284
00:10:05,874 --> 00:10:06,824
Amazing.

285
00:10:06,876 --> 00:10:08,109
People like hearing that.

286
00:10:08,143 --> 00:10:10,244
It's probably one of my
stronger anecdotes.

287
00:10:10,278 --> 00:10:13,247
A fact is not
an anecdote, Gary.

288
00:10:13,281 --> 00:10:14,498
Here's an anecdote...

289
00:10:14,549 --> 00:10:16,751
Today I met the most
boring man in the world.

290
00:10:16,785 --> 00:10:18,319
His name was Gary.

291
00:10:18,353 --> 00:10:19,320
Hmm.

292
00:10:19,354 --> 00:10:21,322
Now...

293
00:10:21,356 --> 00:10:22,757
Keith.

294
00:10:22,791 --> 00:10:24,225
Under sex, you wrote...

295
00:10:24,259 --> 00:10:27,261
"Yes. Ha ha, ha ha,
ha ha."

296
00:10:27,295 --> 00:10:29,346
- Well-played.
- Thank you.

297
00:10:29,398 --> 00:10:31,165
Ah, but all jokes aside.

298
00:10:31,199 --> 00:10:34,435
I'm a boy.

299
00:10:34,469 --> 00:10:36,070
Keith, I had this job
for four years.

300
00:10:36,104 --> 00:10:38,506
And I can tell you, you get out
of it what you put into it.

301
00:10:38,540 --> 00:10:40,007
What are you hoping
to get out of it?

302
00:10:40,041 --> 00:10:41,442
In like a month or so.

303
00:10:41,476 --> 00:10:43,110
- What?
- Oh... What!

304
00:10:43,145 --> 00:10:46,046
What am I hoping
to get out of this job?

305
00:10:46,081 --> 00:10:47,415
Yeah.

306
00:10:47,449 --> 00:10:49,583
Yeah. Like one...
one month of money...

307
00:10:49,618 --> 00:10:51,419
Would be...
would be just right.

308
00:10:51,953 --> 00:10:53,254
Let me give you a situation.

309
00:10:53,288 --> 00:10:56,190
You're hosting a town hall
meeting for local businesses.

310
00:10:56,224 --> 00:10:57,458
Uh...
That's so much stuff.

311
00:10:57,492 --> 00:11:00,511
You just, uh... kept on going.

312
00:11:00,545 --> 00:11:01,762
That was like one thing.

313
00:11:01,797 --> 00:11:03,264
I didn't even get
to the situation yet.

314
00:11:03,298 --> 00:11:05,883
Oh!
All right.

315
00:11:05,934 --> 00:11:07,735
Well, thanks, guys.

316
00:11:07,769 --> 00:11:10,888
I think we've all seen enough.

317
00:11:10,939 --> 00:11:13,107
Still not totally sure
what I'm applying for.

318
00:11:13,141 --> 00:11:16,477
But... if you ask me,
I think it went pretty well.

319
00:11:17,011 --> 00:11:19,697
What we need to focus on
is how to destroy Peru,

320
00:11:19,731 --> 00:11:21,816
specifically
one person who lives there.

321
00:11:21,850 --> 00:11:24,034
Madame Ambassador,
are you changing the scenario?

322
00:11:24,069 --> 00:11:26,120
We didn't prepare for this.

323
00:11:26,154 --> 00:11:28,372
Global politics can change,
and scenarios can arise

324
00:11:28,406 --> 00:11:30,825
and suddenly you're just like,
"wait, I thought this one thing,

325
00:11:30,859 --> 00:11:32,326
"but look over there.
That's a different thing,

326
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:33,961
and it's changing everything,"
and I'm like, "what?"

327
00:11:33,995 --> 00:11:37,131
Hold up."
Who has tanks for me?

328
00:11:37,165 --> 00:11:38,666
I-I'm sorry, but...

329
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:40,751
We're gonna keep trying
to solve the food crisis.

330
00:11:40,802 --> 00:11:43,087
Food schmood.
This is war.

331
00:11:43,138 --> 00:11:45,756
God, it's time for you
to nut up, Switzerland.

332
00:11:45,807 --> 00:11:47,558
Well, well, well,
look who is brave enough

333
00:11:47,592 --> 00:11:49,143
to show his face in Europe.

334
00:11:49,177 --> 00:11:50,578
Say the word, Leslie.

335
00:11:50,612 --> 00:11:53,097
I'll sick my army
of lions on him.

336
00:11:53,148 --> 00:11:54,682
Okay, look, I think, um...

337
00:11:54,716 --> 00:11:57,418
Things are starting to get
a little out of control here.

338
00:11:57,452 --> 00:11:58,752
I agree.
You betrayed me,

339
00:11:58,787 --> 00:12:01,489
and you went behind my back,
and now you need to pay.

340
00:12:01,523 --> 00:12:02,740
I need to... I need to pay.

341
00:12:02,774 --> 00:12:04,258
Do I stutter?

342
00:12:04,292 --> 00:12:05,743
Oh. Okay. Fair enough.

343
00:12:05,777 --> 00:12:07,828
Oh, you know what?
You might wanna borrow this.

344
00:12:07,863 --> 00:12:09,697
Ew, no one wants your
dirty underwear, Ben.

345
00:12:09,731 --> 00:12:12,032
It's not dirty underwear.
It's a white flag,

346
00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:13,667
and you may as well start
waving it right now...

347
00:12:13,702 --> 00:12:15,169
the only thing
I will be waving

348
00:12:15,203 --> 00:12:16,704
is your decapitated head
on a stick

349
00:12:16,738 --> 00:12:19,540
in front of your
weeping mother!

350
00:12:20,792 --> 00:12:22,176
Good lord.

351
00:12:22,292 --> 00:12:23,676
They were duds, Ron.

352
00:12:23,745 --> 00:12:25,045
Really,
anything would be better

353
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,547
than the people
we interviewed today.

354
00:12:26,581 --> 00:12:28,315
I guess you're right, Tom.

355
00:12:28,350 --> 00:12:29,767
I'm not gonna find
another you.

356
00:12:29,801 --> 00:12:31,118
You were perfect.

357
00:12:31,152 --> 00:12:34,305
Competent enough to keep
the bosses off my back,

358
00:12:34,356 --> 00:12:37,157
but selfish enough
to slow down all the work.

359
00:12:37,192 --> 00:12:39,193
Tom Haverfords
don't grow on trees.

360
00:12:39,227 --> 00:12:41,395
If they did, I'd sell 'em.

361
00:12:41,429 --> 00:12:42,897
Tommy trees.

362
00:12:42,931 --> 00:12:44,798
Would you consider
coming back?

363
00:12:45,533 --> 00:12:47,535
Sorry, Ron.
No can do.

364
00:12:47,569 --> 00:12:49,570
I'm like a shark.
I don't swim backwards.

365
00:12:49,604 --> 00:12:51,739
See ya later, man.

366
00:12:53,842 --> 00:12:55,476
We've been making
great strides

367
00:12:55,510 --> 00:12:57,545
with genetically modified
crops

368
00:12:57,579 --> 00:13:00,180
and would gladly pledge
to continue the growth of...

369
00:13:00,215 --> 00:13:01,515
excuse me,
Madame Ambassador.

370
00:13:01,550 --> 00:13:02,783
- Excuse me.
- I'm not finished.

371
00:13:02,801 --> 00:13:04,051
Oh, really?

372
00:13:04,085 --> 00:13:06,153
Then why do I have
the microphone?

373
00:13:06,187 --> 00:13:10,341
I move that the Security Council
formally condemn Denmark

374
00:13:10,392 --> 00:13:11,809
and stop them from making

375
00:13:11,843 --> 00:13:14,562
any more unwarranted
acts of aggression.

376
00:13:14,596 --> 00:13:17,231
As long as you quit
derailing the conference.

377
00:13:17,265 --> 00:13:19,016
People are dying of hunger
in Africa.

378
00:13:19,067 --> 00:13:20,568
Oh, cry me a river.

379
00:13:20,602 --> 00:13:22,069
All in favor
of the resolution.

380
00:13:24,072 --> 00:13:25,973
- What?
- Oh, that's interesting.

381
00:13:25,991 --> 00:13:28,909
The resolution passes
with flying colors.

382
00:13:28,944 --> 00:13:31,495
Denmark is formally condemned.

383
00:13:31,529 --> 00:13:33,080
Bam!

384
00:13:34,849 --> 00:13:37,251
That's no problemo, Peru,

385
00:13:37,285 --> 00:13:40,254
because Denmark no longer
recognizes the authority

386
00:13:40,288 --> 00:13:42,156
of this international
gang of thugs.

387
00:13:42,190 --> 00:13:44,658
And history
will be unkind to those

388
00:13:44,676 --> 00:13:46,677
who stand opposed
to justice.

389
00:13:46,711 --> 00:13:50,014
Together, we stand...
and I ask all of you...

390
00:13:50,048 --> 00:13:53,667
who is ready to join
the Coalition of the Willing?

391
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:58,105
The Moon shall join
your coalition.

392
00:13:58,139 --> 00:13:59,523
Yeah!
We got the freaking moon.

393
00:13:59,557 --> 00:14:02,343
What are you gonna do
without tides, Peru?

394
00:14:02,377 --> 00:14:04,862
Okay. We need to stop
dealing in hypotheticals.

395
00:14:04,896 --> 00:14:07,848
Ann, we dated.
What happened to us?

396
00:14:07,882 --> 00:14:10,684
Really?
Do you... wanna get real?

397
00:14:10,702 --> 00:14:12,903
Sure.
Sounds like fun.

398
00:14:12,954 --> 00:14:15,572
Sometimes your relentless
cheeriness is confusing.

399
00:14:16,024 --> 00:14:17,424
Like that time we went
to Eagleton

400
00:14:17,459 --> 00:14:19,693
and we got that hotel room
with the jacuzzi...

401
00:14:19,711 --> 00:14:21,245
Ooh, this just
got real good!

402
00:14:21,296 --> 00:14:22,880
And the jacuzzi broke.

403
00:14:22,914 --> 00:14:25,049
But I did... eat food
off of your body.

404
00:14:25,083 --> 00:14:27,701
- Oh, come on.
- All right, Chris and Ann!

405
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,970
I just wanna
go back to work.

406
00:14:30,005 --> 00:14:31,555
So the Coalition
of the Willing

407
00:14:31,589 --> 00:14:33,907
is Denmark, Botswana,
and the Moon.

408
00:14:33,942 --> 00:14:35,259
The big three.

409
00:14:35,310 --> 00:14:36,810
Now, here's what
we're gonna do.

410
00:14:36,845 --> 00:14:39,396
Ben is probably shoring up
his support in South America.

411
00:14:39,431 --> 00:14:41,065
While he does that,
we are gonna make sure...

412
00:14:41,099 --> 00:14:43,233
Attention!

413
00:14:43,268 --> 00:14:45,602
The Security Council
has decided to expel

414
00:14:45,654 --> 00:14:48,555
Peru and Denmark
from the United Nations.

415
00:14:48,590 --> 00:14:50,441
Madame Ambassadeur...
Pourquoi?

416
00:14:50,492 --> 00:14:52,893
'Cause you guys suck.
Look around.

417
00:14:53,411 --> 00:14:56,330
We thought you were gonna teach
us how to solve problems.

418
00:14:56,364 --> 00:14:59,416
You've ruined my favorite club.
Thanks a lot.

419
00:15:00,585 --> 00:15:01,735
Did we win?

420
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:03,937
I think we won!

421
00:15:03,972 --> 00:15:07,091
What were we trying to do?
I learned so much today.

422
00:15:12,056 --> 00:15:13,924
I just wanted to say

423
00:15:13,975 --> 00:15:15,725
that I thought
it was really cool

424
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:17,978
how everything
fell apart in there.

425
00:15:19,981 --> 00:15:21,648
And also,
maybe you should talk to Ben.

426
00:15:21,682 --> 00:15:24,184
No. He's being a jerk.

427
00:15:24,218 --> 00:15:26,100
Please?
When Ben gets upset,

428
00:15:26,135 --> 00:15:28,501
he becomes
a really bad roommate.

429
00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:30,637
He takes really long
sadness baths

430
00:15:30,671 --> 00:15:33,106
and makes me late for stuff.

431
00:15:35,126 --> 00:15:37,177
I hate it here.

432
00:15:37,211 --> 00:15:39,345
Can't wait to graduate.

433
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:45,618
Yeah, but summer's
gonna totally kick ass.

434
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,287
So you're saying

435
00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:49,455
that I intimidated you?

436
00:15:49,473 --> 00:15:50,974
- No. Not exactly.
- Come on.

437
00:15:51,008 --> 00:15:53,393
Talk more about that tantric
workshop y'all went to.

438
00:15:53,427 --> 00:15:55,395
I was so into you, okay,

439
00:15:55,429 --> 00:15:58,231
and you basically turned me into
a female version of yourself,

440
00:15:58,265 --> 00:15:59,432
and then you got bored
dating me

441
00:15:59,466 --> 00:16:01,968
because you were
dating yourself.

442
00:16:01,986 --> 00:16:03,336
Huh...

443
00:16:03,370 --> 00:16:05,338
I mean, I was jogging.
I hate jogging.

444
00:16:05,372 --> 00:16:08,575
- Jogging's amazing!
- Jogging is the worst, Chris.

445
00:16:08,609 --> 00:16:09,642
I mean, I know it keeps you
healthy,

446
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:11,077
but God, at what cost?

447
00:16:11,112 --> 00:16:13,413
Well, I'm sorry that I added
five years to your life.

448
00:16:13,447 --> 00:16:15,748
Now I'm being sarcastic.

449
00:16:15,783 --> 00:16:17,784
Like you. I'm doing
something that you like.

450
00:16:17,818 --> 00:16:19,002
Being with you

451
00:16:19,036 --> 00:16:21,087
definitely made me do
a lot of soul-searching,

452
00:16:21,122 --> 00:16:22,655
and I came out the other side

453
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,824
being a much more
self-possessed person.

454
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:25,859
Well, I'm glad.

455
00:16:25,893 --> 00:16:28,545
Good luck with Millicent.
Just back off a little bit.

456
00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:30,930
Let her be herself.
Everything'll be fine.

457
00:16:30,965 --> 00:16:32,866
Thank you.

458
00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:34,934
If you rearrange
the letters of Peru,

459
00:16:34,969 --> 00:16:37,220
you could spell Europe.

460
00:16:37,271 --> 00:16:38,555
That's...
That's not true.

461
00:16:38,606 --> 00:16:40,506
Well...
You have to rearrange them.

462
00:16:40,524 --> 00:16:42,058
- Oh...
- Delegates!

463
00:16:42,109 --> 00:16:44,010
I know that you're angry
with each other.

464
00:16:44,028 --> 00:16:45,378
Hopefully, this will be
your opportunity

465
00:16:45,412 --> 00:16:48,231
to have your very own
Camp David.

466
00:16:48,282 --> 00:16:49,682
In high school,

467
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:51,017
my buddy David Fundis
would have

468
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:52,852
these campouts
in his backyard.

469
00:16:52,870 --> 00:16:55,855
We would just chill out,
have a bonfire,

470
00:16:55,873 --> 00:16:58,057
talk about whatever
was on our mind.

471
00:16:58,092 --> 00:17:00,860
We called it camp David.

472
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,462
How do you know about
Camp David?

473
00:17:02,496 --> 00:17:03,963
How do you know about
camp David?

474
00:17:03,998 --> 00:17:05,715
Ooookay.

475
00:17:05,749 --> 00:17:07,800
You guys are being stupid,
so why don't you work it out

476
00:17:07,835 --> 00:17:12,088
- while Andy and I...
- Throw these scientist bottles

477
00:17:12,139 --> 00:17:13,089
- off the roof?
- No.

478
00:17:13,140 --> 00:17:14,440
That's right.
See ya.

479
00:17:14,475 --> 00:17:18,444
Go. Go. Go. Go. Go.

480
00:17:18,479 --> 00:17:19,946
It's bad enough
that we can't be together,

481
00:17:19,981 --> 00:17:23,149
but the thought of us
not being friends is...

482
00:17:23,184 --> 00:17:25,118
Is just too crappy
for me to handle.

483
00:17:25,152 --> 00:17:27,587
I was... perhaps

484
00:17:27,621 --> 00:17:30,056
a little icier
than I needed to be.

485
00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:32,425
I just need you
to be in my life.

486
00:17:32,459 --> 00:17:34,894
You're too important to me.

487
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:36,629
I wish I could say
it's possible.

488
00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:38,598
I just... I don't know
if it is right now.

489
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,835
Well, I propose a treaty

490
00:17:42,870 --> 00:17:45,905
that states that we have
a fun conversation

491
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:49,575
once a day at work
for five minutes.

492
00:17:49,593 --> 00:17:52,278
I'll take it
to the Peruvian senate.

493
00:17:52,313 --> 00:17:53,513
Or whatever.

494
00:17:53,547 --> 00:17:54,614
- Please do that.
- I'll try.

495
00:17:54,648 --> 00:17:55,765
I'll see what they say.

496
00:17:55,799 --> 00:17:57,934
What do we do
with those kids?

497
00:17:57,968 --> 00:17:59,418
We totally ruined
their club.

498
00:17:59,436 --> 00:18:01,955
I could tell you what I would
like when I was their age.

499
00:18:01,989 --> 00:18:03,690
Ben, how are we gonna get
Kathy Ireland

500
00:18:03,724 --> 00:18:05,692
to do naked aerobics
for them?

501
00:18:05,726 --> 00:18:08,294
Okay. I regret
telling you that... very much.

502
00:18:09,980 --> 00:18:11,447
Hey.

503
00:18:11,482 --> 00:18:13,116
Oh, hey, Ron.

504
00:18:13,150 --> 00:18:15,434
All right.
I gotta come clean.

505
00:18:15,452 --> 00:18:18,538
I saw you spraying
cologne samples at Macy's.

506
00:18:18,572 --> 00:18:20,673
What? Macy's?
That wasn't me.

507
00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:23,109
There's a Macy's in town?
Where's the Macy's in town?

508
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:25,345
I heard they have an amazing
cologne sample guy.

509
00:18:25,379 --> 00:18:28,147
Just take the job, Tommy.
Come on back.

510
00:18:28,182 --> 00:18:29,882
I quit to peruse my dream.

511
00:18:29,917 --> 00:18:32,352
And my dream collapsed.
It's embarrassing, Ron.

512
00:18:32,386 --> 00:18:35,638
I can't go from a CEO back
to being an administrator.

513
00:18:35,673 --> 00:18:37,124
Is there anything I can do

514
00:18:37,158 --> 00:18:40,793
to make you feel okay
about coming back?

515
00:18:40,811 --> 00:18:42,362
Everyone, please...

516
00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:44,180
Help me.

517
00:18:44,231 --> 00:18:46,399
I'm trying to get Tom back.

518
00:18:46,433 --> 00:18:48,518
I'm...

519
00:18:48,569 --> 00:18:50,703
begging.

520
00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:53,139
This department just doesn't
work without you.

521
00:18:53,157 --> 00:18:54,807
What do you say?

522
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:58,177
Ron, this is embarrassing.
Even for you.

523
00:18:58,812 --> 00:19:00,880
I'm not coming back.

524
00:19:00,914 --> 00:19:03,283
Peace out, my dudes.

525
00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:07,754
Excuse me, everyone.

526
00:19:12,626 --> 00:19:14,010
That was great.

527
00:19:14,044 --> 00:19:15,728
So what I'm thinking is
I'll come back in a few days,

528
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:16,729
you'll beg me again...

529
00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:17,864
aah!

530
00:19:17,898 --> 00:19:19,766
So if it's okay with you guys,

531
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,901
I would like to ask Ron
for my job back.

532
00:19:21,935 --> 00:19:23,186
Ron...

533
00:19:23,220 --> 00:19:25,805
May I have
my job back, please?

534
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:29,742
Thank you.

535
00:19:29,777 --> 00:19:32,345
I will see you all Monday.

536
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:35,448
Looking forward to it.

537
00:19:36,483 --> 00:19:37,683
Ah, France,

538
00:19:37,701 --> 00:19:38,735
bienvenue.

539
00:19:38,786 --> 00:19:40,069
My name is Cassidy,

540
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:41,854
- and I'm really annoyed with you.
- Yes.

541
00:19:41,872 --> 00:19:43,240
And you have
every right to be,

542
00:19:43,291 --> 00:19:44,642
but we're hoping what we're
gonna show you right now

543
00:19:44,693 --> 00:19:46,460
will make up for that.

544
00:19:47,494 --> 00:19:49,212
- What?
- Oh, my God!

545
00:19:49,246 --> 00:19:51,414
Pawnee
City Council chambers.

546
00:19:51,465 --> 00:19:54,967
The nicest room in City Hall
by a factor of like a million.

547
00:19:55,302 --> 00:19:57,387
Go ahead.
Sit down.

548
00:19:57,421 --> 00:19:59,705
Leslie and I feel terrible

549
00:19:59,723 --> 00:20:01,891
for war breaking out
at your Model U.N.

550
00:20:01,925 --> 00:20:03,776
Which, for the record,
Denmark would have won,

551
00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:05,061
but that's neither here
nor there.

552
00:20:05,095 --> 00:20:06,546
Thanks to a coordinated effort

553
00:20:06,581 --> 00:20:09,282
between the parks department
and the city manager's office,

554
00:20:09,316 --> 00:20:10,883
three months from now,
we are gonna hold

555
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:13,720
a State-wide Model U.N.
In this room,

556
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,822
- and you're gonna run the show.
- What?

557
00:20:15,857 --> 00:20:18,791
And we will just be...
not here.

558
00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:20,960
- Or taking some small countries.
- No, no, no, no.

559
00:20:20,994 --> 00:20:22,161
No. Fine.
Not here.

560
00:20:22,196 --> 00:20:24,230
- Sound good?
- Yes!

561
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:26,565
Those kids are passionate
about something.

562
00:20:26,583 --> 00:20:27,834
That's important.

563
00:20:27,868 --> 00:20:31,571
That's all there is, really,
is passion.

564
00:20:31,589 --> 00:20:34,624
Passion is what makes
for good treaties...

565
00:20:34,675 --> 00:20:36,626
- Cheese!
- Good relationships...

566
00:20:36,677 --> 00:20:37,927
Good pizza.

567
00:20:37,961 --> 00:20:39,278
Good friends.

568
00:20:39,313 --> 00:20:40,947
Good everything.

569
00:20:40,981 --> 00:20:42,816
Including wars.

570
00:20:46,774 --> 00:20:47,794
Ladies and Gentlemen,

571
00:20:47,874 --> 00:20:49,341
"He was gone but never
forgotten."

572
00:20:49,375 --> 00:20:50,759
"He makes all the ladies
want..."

573
00:20:50,810 --> 00:20:52,260
No, I'm not gonna say that.

574
00:20:53,411 --> 00:20:54,913
"Swagger... beats...

575
00:20:54,947 --> 00:20:57,349
and I get the...
Who's the..."

576
00:20:57,383 --> 00:20:58,716
All right, forget it.

577
00:20:58,734 --> 00:21:00,718
Welcome back, Tom Haverford!

578
00:21:02,104 --> 00:21:04,456
Tick-tock,
it's Tommy time!

579
00:21:04,490 --> 00:21:06,724
I'm sorry,
I have to object again.

580
00:21:06,742 --> 00:21:09,427
This just seems unfair.
I understand that, Jerry.

581
00:21:09,462 --> 00:21:11,562
But the problem is
is that Tom came back

582
00:21:11,580 --> 00:21:14,199
and Andy's my assistant, so I
kinda need him close to me.

583
00:21:14,233 --> 00:21:16,084
Okay, but I can't even
hear anything

584
00:21:16,118 --> 00:21:18,870
because of the noise
from the copier.

585
00:21:18,904 --> 00:21:20,905
Sorry. These are
really important.

586
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:25,395
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com

587
00:21:25,837 --> 00:21:29,021
VeRdiKT