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Ladies and gentlemen,

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the next city councilor
for the great city of Pawnee

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Bobby Newport.

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Hey.

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Thanks, guy.

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Hey, all right.

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Hi, I'm Bobby Newport.

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You know, we're two days
into this campaign,

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and so far it's going great.

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In fact, I don't know why
they call it a "cam-pain."

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Because up until now
it's been a "cam-pleasure."

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All right, hey, why don't
we line up for autographs

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and free Bobby bars.

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Huh?
Who wants a Bobby bar?

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Bobby Newport, heir to
the sweetums candy fortune.

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My dad made 'em.

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He just entered the race,

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and he's already
70 points up in all the polls.

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He is attractive
and charming.

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And his family employs
half the town,

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but so what?

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I am a lifelong
government bureaucrat

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who's well-versed
in the issues.

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And those are the kind
of sexy qualifications

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that win elections.

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How's it going?
I'm Bobby Newport.

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But you probably
knew that already.

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Well, Mr. Newport,
we meet at last.

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I'm Leslie Knope.

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Ah, okeydoke.

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So do you want me to sign that
to miss Lope or just Nesney?

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What? No.

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- Leslie's fine.
- Leslie?

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Yeah, miss Knope is
a candidate for city council.

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Been calling your office
trying to set up a debate.

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Oh, no,
you guys are wrong.

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I'm running unopposed.

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I'm pretty sure
I'm running unopposed, right?

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No, you're not running
unopposed.

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You've very opposed by me.

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Oh, terrific.

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I love meeting people.
I love it, yeah.

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What do you guys do?

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We just told you.

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We're gonna be running
for city council.

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Great.
Here, have a Bobby bar.

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Go ahead,
my dad made 'em.

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Okay, folks.

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Hey, I'm Bobby Newport.

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I think we scared him.

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Here, have a Bobby bar.
My dad made 'em.

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Hey, Ann,
are you still a nurse

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or did they fire you because
you slept with all the doctors?

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You wanna try that again?

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Hey, Ann,
are you still a nurse?

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Because Andy's not
feeling well.

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What's wrong, Andy?

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Just got a headache.

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And I'm seeing double.

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And I got a song
stuck in my head,

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and my teeth hurt.

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Also I'm hungry.

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Okay, well, some of
those things are symptoms

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and some of them
are just being a person.

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- Did you hit your head?
- No.

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Oh, yes, technically
I did smash my head area

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into the wall area.

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Yeah, he was hanging up
his gold record.

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Oh, my God,
are you okay?

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Yeah, I'm good.

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Point is,
I have a gold record.

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Well, I can help you
with cuts and bruises

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but the other stuff you're gonna
have to see a real doctor.

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Hey, smart ass,
we can't afford it.

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Hey, smart ass,
yes, you can.

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You have insurance.

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Neither of your asses
are that smart

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because insurance is for
if something bad happens

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to your car.

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P.S. I haven't had it
in years.

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Oh, my God,
we used to live together.

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Yeah, you still
got it for me.

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I'm Bobby Newport.

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My family owns nine square
miles of land in this town.

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And isn't my family what this
town's really about?

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Vote Bobby Newport
for city council.

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That guy is everywhere.

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I am not complaining.

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Well, we have to find
a way to beat him.

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And luckily Ben
is going to announce

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the most amazing campaign
strategy ever thought of

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in the entire history
of western democracy.

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Go, Ben,
here's your great idea.

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We're all ready for it.
And start.

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I'm running for office.
I'm surrounded by my friends.

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My campaign manager and I
are in love.

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This is exactly
how I dreamed it would be

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when I was a kid.

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Except I wasn't
70 points behind

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and my campaign manager
was Mr. Belvedere.

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We are David.

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Newport is Goliath.

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This is our slingshot.

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- Yes, we'll write
an inspiring op-ed piece.

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- No, the Pawnee-Eagleton
high school basketball game.

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Now, in this town it's bigger
than the Super Bowl.

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We take all our money, we air
a TV ad right at halftime.

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And I think we should make
an attack ad

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against Bobby Newport.

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- Oh!
- That is a great idea!

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- Thank you.
- Excellent.

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- Yay, it's a good idea.
- All right, great.

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So let's get to work.

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Ron Swanson.
How are you?

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Present.

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I have a meeting
at public works,

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and I was thinking that maybe
you might wanna sit in.

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Why would you think that?

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They are working on
a number of fascinating,

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big-budget projects...

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I'm very busy here.

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That I am being forced
to brutally cut entirely.

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I can make room
in my schedule.

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Wonderful.

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As you know, I'm not a big fan
of delivering bad news.

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Chris, it would be
my absolute pleasure.

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Have you considered cutting
the entire fire department?

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I've personally put out
several local fires

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at no cost
to the taxpayer.

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Look to the left.

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The right.
Whatever.

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Are you
the kind of doctor

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who gets hooked
on his own drugs?

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I bet you are.

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So, Andy,
tell me what happened.

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I was reading
an encyclopedia,

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and I tripped
or "fell over"

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and hit my head

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or brain helmet.

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Yeah, he sneezed and smacked
his head against the wall.

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That sounds about right.

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Well, if it's a concussion
it's extremely mild,

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so I wouldn't worry about it.

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Anything else bothering you?

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- Nope.
- Okay.

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Well, I mean, yeah,
I've got a weird rash

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in my knee pit area.

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And my tongue,
on this side,

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doesn't taste
anything anymore.

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Sometimes when I walk
my ankles make, like,

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a weird rattlesnake sound.

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What else?

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Things that are far away
from my eyes are fuzzy.

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I once ate a Twix
with the wrapper on it,

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and I've never seen
the wrapper come out.

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Also I've swallowed
every piece of gum

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that I've chewed
for the past 25 years.

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- Andy!
- I don't know.

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I broke my thumb
on the way over here.

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Just fix me.

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Well, I can help you
with the thumb.

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And I'll have to give you
referrals for specialists

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for the other thousand things.

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Wow, thanks for nothing,
Dr. Harris.

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You're welcome.

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Hey, I'm Bobby Newport.
I'm a regular guy.

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I like dogs.

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I'm here with my persian
greyhound raclette,

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who was given to me
by my buddy,

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the pretender to the crown
of Alsace-Lorraine.

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Vote Bobby Newport
for city council.

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Hey, um,
between you and me,

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I think that Donna is having
a problem with going negative

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in the ad.

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- Nah-uh,
I always go negative.

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Even if I like the guy
I go negative.

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Keeps 'em interested.

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Thanks, Donna.

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Well, I didn't want
to tell you this,

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but Ann is having
a hard time with it.

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She's kind of freaking out
right now.

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Oh, my God,
this magic marker

183
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smells like cherries.

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Hey, here's a question,

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do you like the idea?

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It's... who...

187
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Do you like it?

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Look, you have a vision
of how your campaign should go.

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I am your chief strategist,

190
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so I'm sure
we can work it out.

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Why don't you just tell me
what you're thinking.

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I hate negative ads,

193
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and I would never do one
in a million years.

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Thank you, John,
for coming in.

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The public works department
is wonderful,

196
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and you are the best idea man
in the business.

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We're cancelling all of
your ongoing projects.

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What?

199
00:07:05,831 --> 00:07:07,632
What about
the Pawnee river dam?

200
00:07:07,666 --> 00:07:09,900
Dam's dead.
Have a nice day.

201
00:07:09,935 --> 00:07:12,003
Where will
all the water go?

202
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Wherever it's headed now.

203
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The important thing is the dam
is never happening

204
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and your dream
has been crushed.

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- We're very sorry.
- I am not.

206
00:07:22,297 --> 00:07:24,949
Good meeting.

207
00:07:24,983 --> 00:07:27,284
It's not a negative ad.

208
00:07:27,302 --> 00:07:28,836
We're stating facts about him,

209
00:07:28,887 --> 00:07:30,121
and, yeah,
they happen to be negative

210
00:07:30,155 --> 00:07:31,622
because he's a bonehead.

211
00:07:31,657 --> 00:07:32,923
Well, I wanted
to run an ad

212
00:07:32,957 --> 00:07:34,659
that highlights
the good things about me,

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00:07:34,693 --> 00:07:36,427
not the bad things
about somebody else.

214
00:07:36,461 --> 00:07:38,962
Tom, you are our
communications director.

215
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:40,931
Weigh in here.

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00:07:40,965 --> 00:07:43,017
Leslie,
I love your idea.

217
00:07:43,068 --> 00:07:46,187
I also love your idea.

218
00:07:46,238 --> 00:07:49,357
Two great ideas,
two great people.

219
00:07:49,408 --> 00:07:50,858
I don't know
which idea's better,

220
00:07:50,909 --> 00:07:53,944
but I do know I'll end up
on the winning side.

221
00:07:53,979 --> 00:07:55,246
When I bet on horses,

222
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I never lose.

223
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Why?

224
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I bet on all the horses.

225
00:08:00,519 --> 00:08:02,353
How 'bout we do this,
we split up into teams,

226
00:08:02,387 --> 00:08:04,705
we each make a demo version
of our ad.

227
00:08:04,756 --> 00:08:06,990
Whichever one we like better
we use.

228
00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:08,709
Great idea!

229
00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:10,211
As long as Leslie
thinks so as well.

230
00:08:10,262 --> 00:08:12,830
Sure, I'll pick Ann
and Donna for my team.

231
00:08:12,848 --> 00:08:14,665
You can take Jerry.
What?

232
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:16,333
Well, you wanted
to go negative.

233
00:08:16,368 --> 00:08:19,019
You got the biggest negative
in the world, buddy.

234
00:08:21,006 --> 00:08:22,006
Okay everybody

235
00:08:22,007 --> 00:08:23,207
I need big smiles from you

236
00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:24,809
We're making
a positive ad here.

237
00:08:24,843 --> 00:08:27,879
So just think of this
as Christmas and your birthday

238
00:08:27,913 --> 00:08:29,747
and the first day of school
all rolled up into one.

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Positive is always
better than negative.

240
00:08:32,017 --> 00:08:33,551
Barack Obama said,
"yes we can,"

241
00:08:33,586 --> 00:08:34,802
and now he's president.

242
00:08:34,853 --> 00:08:36,120
Ben says,
"no we shouldn't,"

243
00:08:36,155 --> 00:08:38,389
and now he's working
for his girlfriend.

244
00:08:38,424 --> 00:08:39,974
Guys, I need
double the smiles, okay?

245
00:08:40,025 --> 00:08:42,810
Let's take it back again.
And action.

246
00:08:42,861 --> 00:08:45,647
And this is going great.
We're really positive.

247
00:08:45,698 --> 00:08:48,232
I think we're getting
good stuff, right?

248
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:51,102
What's the...

249
00:08:51,136 --> 00:08:52,604
Oh, come on.

250
00:08:52,638 --> 00:08:55,490
Leslie, I think Bobby
Newport's bus was in that shot.

251
00:08:55,541 --> 00:08:56,491
Do you think?

252
00:08:56,542 --> 00:09:00,645
E, h, 4, m.

253
00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:02,297
Potato shape.

254
00:09:02,331 --> 00:09:04,482
Coffee mug shape.

255
00:09:04,516 --> 00:09:07,001
Smudge, smudge,
middle finger, smudge.

256
00:09:07,052 --> 00:09:08,670
The rest are all smudges.

257
00:09:08,721 --> 00:09:10,555
Oh, my God,
you drove us here.

258
00:09:10,589 --> 00:09:12,757
We made, like, 100 million
doctors' appointments

259
00:09:12,791 --> 00:09:14,291
for ourselves in one week.

260
00:09:14,310 --> 00:09:16,311
After this we won't
have to go to the doctor

261
00:09:16,345 --> 00:09:17,929
for, like, ten years,

262
00:09:17,963 --> 00:09:20,815
because we're smart.

263
00:09:20,849 --> 00:09:22,433
Well, you definitely
need glasses.

264
00:09:22,468 --> 00:09:23,701
No, he's not
getting glasses.

265
00:09:23,736 --> 00:09:25,036
I like his face
the way it is.

266
00:09:25,070 --> 00:09:26,571
If you get glasses,
I'll divorce you.

267
00:09:26,605 --> 00:09:28,106
Well, you heard her, doc.

268
00:09:28,140 --> 00:09:30,825
Too handsome for glasses,
no offense.

269
00:09:30,859 --> 00:09:33,811
I gotta admit,
his hair game's on point.

270
00:09:33,829 --> 00:09:35,146
Gotta find out
what kind of product

271
00:09:35,180 --> 00:09:36,648
he puts up in his "herr."

272
00:09:36,682 --> 00:09:38,700
Hey, how's
Leslie's ad going?

273
00:09:38,751 --> 00:09:39,884
It's very good.

274
00:09:39,918 --> 00:09:43,554
But yours is also very good.

275
00:09:43,589 --> 00:09:44,839
- You ready for
the voice-over?

276
00:09:44,873 --> 00:09:45,990
Yeah.

277
00:09:46,008 --> 00:09:50,094
Bobby Newport's never
had a real job

278
00:09:50,129 --> 00:09:51,996
in his life.

279
00:09:52,014 --> 00:09:53,164
You gotta give it
more attitude.

280
00:09:53,198 --> 00:09:54,832
It's gotta scare people.

281
00:09:54,867 --> 00:09:56,467
Bobby Newport...

282
00:09:56,502 --> 00:09:59,237
Yeah, okay.
All right.

283
00:09:59,271 --> 00:10:01,856
Bobby Newport's never had

284
00:10:01,890 --> 00:10:05,143
a real job in his life.

285
00:10:05,177 --> 00:10:07,145
- Bobby Newport's never had

286
00:10:07,179 --> 00:10:09,213
a real job in his life.

287
00:10:09,248 --> 00:10:10,815
Bobby Newport.

288
00:10:10,849 --> 00:10:12,016
Bobby Newport.

289
00:10:12,051 --> 00:10:13,618
Bobby Newport.

290
00:10:13,652 --> 00:10:15,153
Bobby Newport.

291
00:10:15,187 --> 00:10:17,021
Bobby Newport.

292
00:10:17,056 --> 00:10:18,022
Bobby Newport.

293
00:10:18,057 --> 00:10:20,224
- Bobby.
- Bobby.

294
00:10:20,259 --> 00:10:21,209
Bobby.

295
00:10:21,243 --> 00:10:22,543
Newport.

296
00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:25,213
All right, now we're just
wasting time, Jerry.

297
00:10:25,247 --> 00:10:26,748
Ron Swanson!

298
00:10:26,799 --> 00:10:29,067
I want to thank you for being
so ruthless and cruel

299
00:10:29,101 --> 00:10:30,218
in the meeting
the other day.

300
00:10:30,252 --> 00:10:32,036
You'll have to be
more specific.

301
00:10:32,071 --> 00:10:33,938
With the public works
department about the dam.

302
00:10:33,972 --> 00:10:35,039
Ah.

303
00:10:35,074 --> 00:10:36,257
What do you say
I take you to lunch

304
00:10:36,308 --> 00:10:37,675
and then we can talk
about all the projects

305
00:10:37,709 --> 00:10:38,843
that you want
to get accomplished.

306
00:10:38,877 --> 00:10:40,144
That won't be necessary.

307
00:10:40,179 --> 00:10:41,512
I don't have any projects.

308
00:10:41,547 --> 00:10:42,847
I hate projects.

309
00:10:47,519 --> 00:10:49,887
What a pill.
We should order.

310
00:10:49,922 --> 00:10:52,090
And then we can talk shop.
What are you gonna have?

311
00:10:52,124 --> 00:10:56,911
I'm thinking something
raw and cucumber-based.

312
00:10:56,945 --> 00:10:57,945
A cucumber.

313
00:10:57,996 --> 00:10:59,197
I don't know what happened.

314
00:10:59,231 --> 00:11:00,998
I declined
his invitation.

315
00:11:01,033 --> 00:11:02,400
He started laughing.

316
00:11:02,434 --> 00:11:05,470
And the next thing I knew,
we were at lunch.

317
00:11:05,504 --> 00:11:07,422
Did he drug me?

318
00:11:07,456 --> 00:11:08,940
Hi, I'm Bobby Newport.

319
00:11:08,974 --> 00:11:12,076
My dad is friends
with John Cougar Mellencamp.

320
00:11:12,111 --> 00:11:13,578
That's pretty cool.

321
00:11:13,612 --> 00:11:14,879
What is this guy
running for,

322
00:11:14,913 --> 00:11:16,764
president of being on every
channel all the time?

323
00:11:16,799 --> 00:11:18,633
Reminder, Leslie,
we have less than an hour

324
00:11:18,684 --> 00:11:20,268
to get the ad
to the station.

325
00:11:20,302 --> 00:11:21,752
Ann, you're beautiful
and you're organized.

326
00:11:21,770 --> 00:11:23,554
So in order
not to bias anyone,

327
00:11:23,588 --> 00:11:25,440
these are the two ads
that Ben and I made.

328
00:11:25,474 --> 00:11:26,691
I'm just gonna
pick one randomly,

329
00:11:26,725 --> 00:11:28,192
and we'll play
that one first.

330
00:11:28,227 --> 00:11:29,527
Oh, yay,
the awesome one.

331
00:11:31,263 --> 00:11:32,730
Hi, I'm Leslie Knope.

332
00:11:32,764 --> 00:11:34,949
I'm pro-parks,
pro-public safety,

333
00:11:34,983 --> 00:11:36,617
and I'm pro-clean water.

334
00:11:36,652 --> 00:11:38,703
I'm also pro-environmental
regulation,

335
00:11:38,737 --> 00:11:41,539
and I'm very,
very pro-local propositions

336
00:11:41,573 --> 00:11:43,775
45, 86, and 102f.

337
00:11:43,809 --> 00:11:46,577
But most of all,
I'm pro-Pawnee.

338
00:11:46,611 --> 00:11:49,113
Here are some other things
that I'm pro.

339
00:12:00,342 --> 00:12:01,759
As you can see,

340
00:12:01,793 --> 00:12:03,311
I'm in favor
of a lot of things,

341
00:12:03,345 --> 00:12:04,645
like hot dogs.

342
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,230
Right, Charlie?

343
00:12:06,265 --> 00:12:07,665
I'm Leslie Knope,

344
00:12:07,699 --> 00:12:09,100
and I approve
this message.

345
00:12:09,134 --> 00:12:11,152
Yes.
I love it.

346
00:12:11,186 --> 00:12:12,803
Fantastic.

347
00:12:12,821 --> 00:12:14,705
Do we even want
to screen yours?

348
00:12:14,740 --> 00:12:16,307
Uh, yeah,
that was awful.

349
00:12:16,341 --> 00:12:17,375
What do you mean?

350
00:12:17,409 --> 00:12:18,493
Name one thing
that was wrong with it.

351
00:12:18,527 --> 00:12:20,144
Okay, you never
even mentioned

352
00:12:20,179 --> 00:12:21,646
you were running
for office.

353
00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:24,782
You literally never said
the words "city council."

354
00:12:24,817 --> 00:12:27,451
I did... it's implied.

355
00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:29,320
I didn't... we can just
put it in.

356
00:12:29,338 --> 00:12:30,371
Okay.

357
00:12:30,422 --> 00:12:33,541
Leslie is so good
at so many things

358
00:12:33,592 --> 00:12:35,960
and so bad at that.

359
00:12:35,994 --> 00:12:41,215
Bobby Newport's been handed
everything on a silver platter.

360
00:12:41,266 --> 00:12:44,302
His cushy job at his dad's
candy company,

361
00:12:44,336 --> 00:12:46,337
handed to him.

362
00:12:46,371 --> 00:12:49,307
His 60-foot boat,
Bobby's boat,

363
00:12:49,341 --> 00:12:53,144
handed to him
when he was 12.

364
00:12:53,178 --> 00:12:55,112
Leslie Knope is running
for city council too,

365
00:12:55,147 --> 00:12:57,648
and she's earned everything
she's ever gotten.

366
00:12:57,683 --> 00:12:59,183
She has.

367
00:12:59,201 --> 00:13:01,118
Bobby Newport wants you
to just hand him

368
00:13:01,153 --> 00:13:02,686
this election.

369
00:13:02,704 --> 00:13:03,688
Don't.

370
00:13:03,722 --> 00:13:05,189
I won't.

371
00:13:05,224 --> 00:13:06,374
- Yes.
- Yes, yes.

372
00:13:06,408 --> 00:13:07,375
I love it.

373
00:13:07,409 --> 00:13:09,560
Now, people,
this is an ad.

374
00:13:09,595 --> 00:13:12,196
- It's succinct, it's punchy.
- It's mean.

375
00:13:12,214 --> 00:13:14,749
It's depressing.
It's awful.

376
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:18,069
"I am Ben Wyatt, and I want
to destroy Leslie's dreams."

377
00:13:19,254 --> 00:13:21,038
Okay, if you're allergic
to any food,

378
00:13:21,073 --> 00:13:22,473
we'll know
in a few days.

379
00:13:22,507 --> 00:13:23,891
I think
based on the redness

380
00:13:23,926 --> 00:13:26,677
I might be allergic
to getting stabbed by needles.

381
00:13:26,711 --> 00:13:28,229
We have already been to, like,
five different doctors.

382
00:13:28,263 --> 00:13:30,982
- I got my ankles microwaved.
- X-rayed.

383
00:13:31,016 --> 00:13:32,817
They took my blood away
to use for science.

384
00:13:32,851 --> 00:13:33,885
Cholesterol tests.

385
00:13:33,919 --> 00:13:36,387
April had
her sinuses removed?

386
00:13:36,421 --> 00:13:37,572
Looked at.

387
00:13:37,606 --> 00:13:39,323
Some guy looked
at my wiener, touched it.

388
00:13:39,358 --> 00:13:40,441
That was weird.

389
00:13:40,492 --> 00:13:42,026
And that guy
wasn't even a doctor.

390
00:13:42,060 --> 00:13:44,245
That...

391
00:13:44,279 --> 00:13:45,562
What?

392
00:13:45,581 --> 00:13:47,365
Now I think it is time
for us to take a vote.

393
00:13:47,399 --> 00:13:49,400
So who's in favor
of Ben's ad?

394
00:13:49,434 --> 00:13:51,102
Traitors!

395
00:13:51,136 --> 00:13:53,604
Ann, I painted
your garage pink.

396
00:13:53,639 --> 00:13:55,339
I did not ask you
to do that.

397
00:13:55,374 --> 00:13:57,541
Leslie, look,
I want you to win,

398
00:13:57,576 --> 00:13:59,210
and Ben's ad
is just better.

399
00:13:59,244 --> 00:14:00,878
Our friendship is over.
No, it's not.

400
00:14:00,913 --> 00:14:02,597
It's not over.
It's never over.

401
00:14:02,631 --> 00:14:04,081
BFF.
I love you forever.

402
00:14:04,116 --> 00:14:05,600
You know what, it seems like
we're kind of evenly split.

403
00:14:05,634 --> 00:14:06,801
I think we should
keep debating.

404
00:14:06,852 --> 00:14:08,803
We're not split.
It's unanimous.

405
00:14:08,854 --> 00:14:10,788
- We air my ad.
- But I...

406
00:14:10,822 --> 00:14:13,274
This is just... it's just not
the way I dreamed it would be.

407
00:14:13,308 --> 00:14:15,793
This is
the right call, okay?

408
00:14:15,827 --> 00:14:17,028
I promise.

409
00:14:17,062 --> 00:14:18,562
Okay.

410
00:14:18,597 --> 00:14:20,597
I'm going to air
a negative ad.

411
00:14:20,616 --> 00:14:22,300
It's out of my hands now.

412
00:14:22,334 --> 00:14:24,468
But you know what,
I'm actually feeling

413
00:14:24,503 --> 00:14:27,438
very zen about this.

414
00:14:27,456 --> 00:14:29,273
- Are you Ben Wyatt?
- Yeah.

415
00:14:29,291 --> 00:14:30,908
Okay, I need that DVD
in the control room.

416
00:14:30,942 --> 00:14:33,144
- Aah!
- Oh, my God.

417
00:14:33,178 --> 00:14:36,280
I am Leslie Knope, and
I do not approve this message.

418
00:14:36,298 --> 00:14:39,050
What are you doing?
What are you...

419
00:14:39,084 --> 00:14:40,084
Ah.

420
00:14:42,060 --> 00:14:43,760
Alright, the good news is,

421
00:14:43,761 --> 00:14:45,228
there's only two pieces
of bad news.

422
00:14:45,262 --> 00:14:47,347
The bad news is,
none of our ads aired

423
00:14:47,381 --> 00:14:49,082
and we cannot get
our money back.

424
00:14:49,116 --> 00:14:50,250
Oh, God.

425
00:14:50,284 --> 00:14:51,517
There was probably
a better way

426
00:14:51,552 --> 00:14:53,019
for you to tell us that.

427
00:14:53,053 --> 00:14:54,187
You both really blew this.

428
00:14:54,221 --> 00:14:56,656
But I can't wait to hear
your new ideas.

429
00:14:56,690 --> 00:14:57,941
I love 'em already.

430
00:14:57,992 --> 00:14:59,359
Ooh, I'm hungry.

431
00:14:59,393 --> 00:15:02,929
Tommy needs a mango.
See ya.

432
00:15:02,963 --> 00:15:05,131
I'm really sorry
I tackled you.

433
00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:08,167
It's just, I'd rather run
the fake campaign ads

434
00:15:08,202 --> 00:15:09,669
that I made
when I was ten

435
00:15:09,703 --> 00:15:11,371
than become negative
and cynical.

436
00:15:11,405 --> 00:15:15,441
Look, I really don't wanna
crush your childhood dreams,

437
00:15:15,476 --> 00:15:16,943
but I bet in your dreams

438
00:15:16,977 --> 00:15:19,746
you weren't losing an election
by 70 points.

439
00:15:19,780 --> 00:15:21,648
You need to get tougher,
Leslie.

440
00:15:21,682 --> 00:15:23,716
You just have to.

441
00:15:23,751 --> 00:15:25,752
You need to get tougher.

442
00:15:25,786 --> 00:15:28,888
You were pretty easy
to take down.

443
00:15:28,922 --> 00:15:29,956
Thanks.

444
00:15:29,990 --> 00:15:32,442
Ron Swanson!

445
00:15:32,476 --> 00:15:34,093
Just the man
I wanted to see.

446
00:15:34,111 --> 00:15:36,646
I'm going to be going
to a seminar

447
00:15:36,697 --> 00:15:39,449
on the art of
the japanese tea ceremony...

448
00:15:39,483 --> 00:15:41,901
Or "chakai" at the Pawnee
community college,

449
00:15:41,936 --> 00:15:43,403
and I thought you might like
to come with me.

450
00:15:43,437 --> 00:15:45,238
Why?

451
00:15:45,272 --> 00:15:46,839
I know how much
you value silence.

452
00:15:46,874 --> 00:15:48,741
A fair point.

453
00:15:48,776 --> 00:15:50,677
But we did just
have lunch last week,

454
00:15:50,711 --> 00:15:53,012
so I feel like we've spent
enough social time together

455
00:15:53,047 --> 00:15:56,115
for the foreseeable... Ever.

456
00:15:56,133 --> 00:15:57,450
All right, well,
if you change your mind,

457
00:15:57,468 --> 00:15:58,835
you know where to find me.

458
00:15:58,886 --> 00:16:01,287
- Donna Meagle!
- Chris Traeger!

459
00:16:01,305 --> 00:16:03,640
For some godforsaken reason
that man is suddenly determined

460
00:16:03,674 --> 00:16:05,291
to hang on with me.

461
00:16:05,309 --> 00:16:06,793
You mean hang out?

462
00:16:06,827 --> 00:16:08,461
What is wrong with him?

463
00:16:08,479 --> 00:16:09,696
I don't know, he's got you
doing Ben's job,

464
00:16:09,730 --> 00:16:11,230
eating lunch with him
like Ben used to.

465
00:16:11,265 --> 00:16:13,766
Maybe he just misses
his little buddy.

466
00:16:15,519 --> 00:16:16,836
Ow.

467
00:16:16,870 --> 00:16:18,905
Let's get you home
and get me some ice cream.

468
00:16:18,939 --> 00:16:20,039
Here's your bill.

469
00:16:20,074 --> 00:16:21,858
Whoa, yeah,
won't be needing that.

470
00:16:21,909 --> 00:16:23,509
I've got
the free medicine card.

471
00:16:23,544 --> 00:16:26,679
Uh, there's a $500 deductible
for dental procedures.

472
00:16:26,714 --> 00:16:28,247
Oh, I think you're wrong.

473
00:16:28,282 --> 00:16:30,817
We have the insurance thing.

474
00:16:30,851 --> 00:16:32,885
- I believe we're covered.
- It's still $500.

475
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:34,954
Let's see here.

476
00:16:34,989 --> 00:16:37,857
Oh, because,
you know what...

477
00:16:37,891 --> 00:16:40,043
Let's go!
Dine and dash.

478
00:16:40,094 --> 00:16:42,178
Out of the way!

479
00:16:42,212 --> 00:16:44,530
Yeah!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

480
00:16:44,565 --> 00:16:45,765
Ah!

481
00:16:45,799 --> 00:16:47,550
Ah, call an ambulance!

482
00:16:47,601 --> 00:16:50,837
A different ambulance than
the one I ran into.

483
00:16:50,871 --> 00:16:54,240
This is city council
candidate Leslie Knope

484
00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:56,342
when she was ten years old.

485
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,177
Hi, I'm Leslie Knope.

486
00:16:58,212 --> 00:16:59,479
I love Pawnee.

487
00:16:59,513 --> 00:17:01,481
And I want to make it
even better.

488
00:17:01,515 --> 00:17:03,583
Better schools,
safer streets,

489
00:17:03,617 --> 00:17:06,486
and a more progressive tax
on residential properties.

490
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:10,723
This is city council
candidate Bobby Newport today.

491
00:17:10,758 --> 00:17:12,125
People keep asking me:

492
00:17:12,159 --> 00:17:14,227
Bobby, what are you gonna do
once you get into office?

493
00:17:14,261 --> 00:17:17,797
Um, I'm pretty sure
I'll figure it out.

494
00:17:17,831 --> 00:17:21,084
Leslie Knope had better
ideas when she was ten

495
00:17:21,135 --> 00:17:23,503
than Bobby Newport has now.

496
00:17:23,537 --> 00:17:24,904
They do have
one thing in common.

497
00:17:24,938 --> 00:17:26,872
I like dogs.

498
00:17:26,890 --> 00:17:28,741
For a better Pawnee,

499
00:17:28,776 --> 00:17:30,376
vote Knope for city council.

500
00:17:30,394 --> 00:17:32,678
Well, we already have
a thousand views.

501
00:17:32,713 --> 00:17:34,814
Yeah, but no calls
from reporters,

502
00:17:34,848 --> 00:17:36,065
no interview requests.

503
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:38,184
I don't care.
I'm proud of it.

504
00:17:38,218 --> 00:17:39,852
You sure?

505
00:17:39,887 --> 00:17:41,954
It is accurate about
my opponent, it does not take...

506
00:17:41,989 --> 00:17:43,889
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
hold that thought.

507
00:17:43,907 --> 00:17:46,392
Ron Swanson!
What a pleasant surprise.

508
00:17:46,410 --> 00:17:47,560
And who's this?

509
00:17:47,594 --> 00:17:50,296
This is a great friend
of mine.

510
00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:52,932
He is a fellow
who works in the building...

511
00:17:52,966 --> 00:17:56,202
- ... and he is named Dennis.
- Kyle.

512
00:17:56,236 --> 00:17:59,405
He strongly enjoys
japanese culture,

513
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,174
and I thought he might
wanna go with you

514
00:18:01,208 --> 00:18:02,975
to the thing.

515
00:18:03,010 --> 00:18:04,143
- The tea ceremony.
- Yes.

516
00:18:04,178 --> 00:18:05,461
You're a brother
japanophile?

517
00:18:05,512 --> 00:18:08,848
I was eating rice,
and Ron made me come up here.

518
00:18:08,882 --> 00:18:10,783
But sure,
that sounds fun.

519
00:18:10,818 --> 00:18:11,768
Arigato.

520
00:18:11,802 --> 00:18:14,854
Ron, a moment.

521
00:18:14,888 --> 00:18:17,824
All right, pal, level with me.
What's going on?

522
00:18:17,858 --> 00:18:21,227
Well, you seemed like
you wanted a friend.

523
00:18:21,261 --> 00:18:23,696
No, no, no, no.

524
00:18:23,730 --> 00:18:25,698
I'm not lonely.
I have me.

525
00:18:25,732 --> 00:18:28,267
And 4,000 Facebook friends
and a hot girlfriend.

526
00:18:28,302 --> 00:18:30,436
I wanted to spend time
with you,

527
00:18:30,454 --> 00:18:32,905
because I have to replace Ben
as assistant city manager

528
00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:35,074
and I was giving you
a tryout of sorts.

529
00:18:35,109 --> 00:18:38,444
Now, I'll mull my options
for the next few months,

530
00:18:38,479 --> 00:18:40,079
but I'd love you
to keep an open mind.

531
00:18:40,114 --> 00:18:43,116
Kyle-San!
Arigato!

532
00:18:43,150 --> 00:18:44,300
Mr. Newport, hello.

533
00:18:44,334 --> 00:18:45,451
Hi.

534
00:18:45,469 --> 00:18:47,620
Leslie Knope.
Ben Wyatt.

535
00:18:47,638 --> 00:18:48,721
- Yeah, hi.
- Good to see you.

536
00:18:48,755 --> 00:18:50,223
Nice to see you.
You guys want anything?

537
00:18:50,257 --> 00:18:52,475
This is a restaurant,
so they have food and stuff.

538
00:18:52,509 --> 00:18:53,726
- I'll take a milkshake.
- We're good.

539
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:55,895
No, we're good.
What can we do for you?

540
00:18:55,929 --> 00:19:00,633
Yes, um, why'd you guys
post that video of me, man?

541
00:19:00,667 --> 00:19:02,702
I mean, that didn't
make me feel good.

542
00:19:02,736 --> 00:19:06,005
It was... it was mean.
You guys are mean.

543
00:19:06,039 --> 00:19:08,441
Well, we used your own ad,

544
00:19:08,475 --> 00:19:10,643
so I don't think
it was mean.

545
00:19:10,661 --> 00:19:12,211
All right, let me
lay it out for you.

546
00:19:12,246 --> 00:19:14,413
My friends keep sending me
links to that video

547
00:19:14,448 --> 00:19:16,149
and they just
make fun of me.

548
00:19:16,183 --> 00:19:18,651
So just stop running, okay?

549
00:19:18,685 --> 00:19:20,670
Just... that... stop.

550
00:19:20,704 --> 00:19:21,704
Stop running the ad?

551
00:19:21,755 --> 00:19:23,189
No, stop running
the campaign.

552
00:19:23,223 --> 00:19:24,891
What?

553
00:19:24,925 --> 00:19:26,092
Just quit.

554
00:19:26,126 --> 00:19:28,060
It would be so cool of you
if you just quit.

555
00:19:28,095 --> 00:19:30,129
Then I can win the election,

556
00:19:30,163 --> 00:19:31,330
and I'll have a big party,

557
00:19:31,348 --> 00:19:32,865
and I'll put you both
on the guest list,

558
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,183
plus one.

559
00:19:34,218 --> 00:19:35,718
I'm gonna have a man
who does magic.

560
00:19:35,769 --> 00:19:37,103
He's really good.

561
00:19:37,137 --> 00:19:39,505
Not, like, cheesy magic.
Like, good magic.

562
00:19:39,523 --> 00:19:42,742
We're not gonna quit
the campaign.

563
00:19:42,776 --> 00:19:44,143
Why would we do that?

564
00:19:44,178 --> 00:19:47,313
Because I want it.

565
00:19:47,347 --> 00:19:48,381
Come on, give me it.

566
00:19:48,415 --> 00:19:50,183
Give me it.
Give me it.

567
00:19:50,217 --> 00:19:51,517
Come on, give me it.

568
00:19:51,552 --> 00:19:52,752
Just give me the election.

569
00:19:52,786 --> 00:19:54,237
I'm sorry, please.

570
00:19:54,288 --> 00:19:55,705
Please.

571
00:19:55,739 --> 00:19:58,257
Well, Leslie, he does make
a compelling argument.

572
00:19:58,292 --> 00:20:01,928
Come on, ugh!
Come on, guy.

573
00:20:01,962 --> 00:20:03,696
- Bobby.
- Ah, it's not padded!

574
00:20:03,714 --> 00:20:04,864
Can I ask you a question?

575
00:20:04,898 --> 00:20:06,749
Why are you even
running for office?

576
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,267
You know what,
I need something to do

577
00:20:08,302 --> 00:20:09,735
to get my dad off my back.

578
00:20:09,770 --> 00:20:11,237
This seemed easy.

579
00:20:11,271 --> 00:20:12,738
What about you,
why are you doing it?

580
00:20:12,773 --> 00:20:14,207
Who's your dad?

581
00:20:14,241 --> 00:20:16,309
I'm running for office because
I want to improve the lives

582
00:20:16,343 --> 00:20:17,643
of the people that I love

583
00:20:17,678 --> 00:20:19,045
in the city that's
the greatest city in the world.

584
00:20:19,079 --> 00:20:20,880
What?
What does that even mean?

585
00:20:20,914 --> 00:20:22,281
Hey, I've got an idea.

586
00:20:22,316 --> 00:20:25,384
How 'bout you quit running,
then I win,

587
00:20:25,419 --> 00:20:27,720
but then I let you do
all the work.

588
00:20:27,754 --> 00:20:29,021
I'm not going anywhere,

589
00:20:29,055 --> 00:20:31,056
and we are gonna debate soon,

590
00:20:31,074 --> 00:20:33,993
and I need to warn you,
I know my stuff.

591
00:20:34,027 --> 00:20:36,946
So you should toughen up.

592
00:20:39,232 --> 00:20:41,400
Why are you guys smiling?
I feel bad.

593
00:20:41,418 --> 00:20:42,451
Hey, quick question.

594
00:20:42,502 --> 00:20:43,953
That little girl
from your video.

595
00:20:44,004 --> 00:20:45,454
Oh, my God, she's so cute.

596
00:20:45,505 --> 00:20:46,739
Do you think you can
talk to her

597
00:20:46,757 --> 00:20:49,091
and let her do an ad for me?

598
00:20:49,126 --> 00:20:50,743
That girl is me

599
00:20:50,777 --> 00:20:52,878
as a ten-year-old.

600
00:20:52,913 --> 00:20:54,981
How'd you do that?

601
00:20:56,519 --> 00:20:58,751
Maybe you should see
one of the other doctors.

602
00:20:58,785 --> 00:21:00,786
No.
No more doctors.

603
00:21:00,838 --> 00:21:02,571
They're a bunch
of scam artists.

604
00:21:02,589 --> 00:21:04,273
They reel you in
with the free stuff.

605
00:21:04,308 --> 00:21:06,259
Next thing you know, bam,

606
00:21:06,293 --> 00:21:08,711
you run into an ambulance.

607
00:21:08,745 --> 00:21:10,246
Every time.

608
00:21:10,264 --> 00:21:12,465
Let's just go home
and care for each other.

609
00:21:12,516 --> 00:21:13,816
We could buy a sewing kit.

610
00:21:13,851 --> 00:21:16,385
You could sew up my lip
underneath a bridge somewhere.

611
00:21:16,420 --> 00:21:18,404
Mmm, so romantic.

612
00:21:18,438 --> 00:21:21,440
- Ugh!
- Oh, sorry, I forgot.

613
00:21:21,475 --> 00:21:22,692
Let's go.
All right.

614
00:21:22,726 --> 00:21:24,961
Do you think sewing kits
are covered by insurance?

615
00:21:24,995 --> 00:21:26,762
Or groceries
or, like, Xbox games?

616
00:21:26,780 --> 00:21:27,763
What is insurance?

617
00:21:27,781 --> 00:21:29,715
I don't know.
Who cares?

618
00:21:29,906 --> 00:21:30,748
Sync and corrected by Rafael UPD
www.Addic7ed.com/

