1 00:00:00,761 --> 00:00:02,777 I will institute a reduction in taxes 2 00:00:03,069 --> 00:00:04,403 For the small-business owner 3 00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:06,838 as well as a 7% surcharge 4 00:00:06,873 --> 00:00:10,409 on all nonlocal business-related development. 5 00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:14,312 Together we will build a better Pawnee. 6 00:00:14,330 --> 00:00:16,915 So what we're looking for here 7 00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:19,785 are your overall impressions of this candidate. 8 00:00:19,819 --> 00:00:22,504 What do you like about her? What don't you like about her? 9 00:00:22,538 --> 00:00:24,923 Her ideas, her voice, her clothes probably. 10 00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:27,192 Well, my campaign has a little momentum, 11 00:00:27,226 --> 00:00:30,662 so we're trying to capitalize on that by doing a focus group. 12 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:34,165 Some things are very helpful. Other things are not so helpful. 13 00:00:34,183 --> 00:00:38,136 All the things make me feel a lot of feelings about myself. 14 00:00:38,170 --> 00:00:40,205 She's kinda short, don't you think? 15 00:00:40,239 --> 00:00:41,506 Aggressively short almost. 16 00:00:41,524 --> 00:00:42,641 It's like she's throwing it in my face. 17 00:00:42,675 --> 00:00:43,976 Insightful. 18 00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:46,778 You, sir, said you would not vote for her, correct? 19 00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:49,481 Yeah. Yeah, she seems a little uptight. 20 00:00:49,515 --> 00:00:50,866 She doesn't seem like 21 00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:53,952 the kind of person you could go bowling with, you know? 22 00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:54,953 What? That's ridiculous. 23 00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:57,656 I am excellent at bowling. Ask Ron. 24 00:00:57,690 --> 00:00:59,725 Leslie, I know it's tough to hear these things, 25 00:00:59,759 --> 00:01:02,544 but just try not to get obsessed over one comment. 26 00:01:02,578 --> 00:01:05,163 You're totally right. I'm not obsessing. 27 00:01:05,197 --> 00:01:06,364 Okay, what are you doing? 28 00:01:06,382 --> 00:01:07,833 I'm just reminding myself to tell Ron 29 00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:09,051 to tell you how good I am at bowling. 30 00:01:09,085 --> 00:01:10,201 All right. 31 00:01:10,219 --> 00:01:11,670 I actually thought that she was smart, 32 00:01:11,704 --> 00:01:14,139 and I'd vote for her. There you go. 33 00:01:14,173 --> 00:01:16,892 Although I once knew a Leslie, and, uh, she was just awful. 34 00:01:16,926 --> 00:01:19,177 So now I hate all Leslies. 35 00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:21,346 Would she consider changing her name? 36 00:01:22,989 --> 00:01:25,067 Sync and Corrections by APOLLO www.addic7ed.com 37 00:01:41,767 --> 00:01:42,502 Okay, here we go. 38 00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:45,771 71% said that you have a strong command of the issues. 39 00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:48,740 That is good, but only 33% 40 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,509 said that they would consider voting for you. 41 00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:51,677 Mm, yeah, that's really interesting stuff. 42 00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:52,744 Why did that guy say that he 43 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:53,912 wouldn't want to go bowling with me? 44 00:01:53,946 --> 00:01:56,048 You really have to let that go. 45 00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:57,783 I've never been very good at letting things go. 46 00:01:57,817 --> 00:02:01,319 I can't tell you how many times a fun tug-of-war with a dog 47 00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:03,588 over a chew toy turned contentious. 48 00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:06,058 One of us always ends up mad. 49 00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:07,943 I did some research too about the guy who said the thing 50 00:02:07,977 --> 00:02:09,945 about me and bowling, and his name is Derek. 51 00:02:09,979 --> 00:02:11,363 Oh, my God. 52 00:02:11,397 --> 00:02:13,264 And get this... he's not even that good of a bowler. 53 00:02:13,282 --> 00:02:14,432 His average is 132, 54 00:02:14,450 --> 00:02:17,068 according to the most recent available data. 55 00:02:17,102 --> 00:02:18,937 Leslie, that comment 56 00:02:18,955 --> 00:02:21,406 wasn't really about whether you're good at bowling... 57 00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:23,709 - Which I am. Ask Ron. - Which we all know you are. 58 00:02:23,743 --> 00:02:25,243 But some people have the impression 59 00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:27,746 that you're a little elitist or intellectual or something. 60 00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:30,248 That is so sexist. It's just because I'm a woman. 61 00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:32,851 Would they deign to say such things 62 00:02:32,885 --> 00:02:35,020 to Woodrow Wilson or Benjamin Disraeli... 63 00:02:35,054 --> 00:02:36,588 okay, I see what you're talking about. 64 00:02:36,622 --> 00:02:37,622 See, a lot of people don't vote with their brains. 65 00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:38,990 They vote with their guts. 66 00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:40,392 I know you're fun, and you can have a good time. 67 00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:42,761 The public needs to see that. 68 00:02:42,795 --> 00:02:46,598 Well, then maybe the campaign should host a bowling night. 69 00:02:46,632 --> 00:02:48,433 - Hmm. - It would be laid-back. 70 00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:50,235 Everyone having fun, great photo op. 71 00:02:50,269 --> 00:02:51,403 That could actually work. 72 00:02:51,437 --> 00:02:52,504 Also I'm really good at bowling. 73 00:02:52,538 --> 00:02:54,156 No, I don't think I believe you. 74 00:02:54,190 --> 00:02:55,273 Is there anyone I can ask? 75 00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:56,908 Yeah. Ask Ron. 76 00:02:56,943 --> 00:03:00,078 Oh, okay. You're kidding. 77 00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:01,646 All right, it is time 78 00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:04,332 for the 12th Leslie Knope Fundraising Phone Bank. 79 00:03:04,367 --> 00:03:06,017 Is everybody feeling good? 80 00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:08,036 Oh, I don't know, Jerry. It's Sunday night, 81 00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:09,654 I'm making phone calls to strangers, 82 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,623 and you're in my house. 83 00:03:11,657 --> 00:03:12,958 My life couldn't be worse. 84 00:03:12,992 --> 00:03:14,292 Hey! 85 00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:15,994 Let's get this phone party started. 86 00:03:16,028 --> 00:03:18,163 - No. - Sorry I'm late, guys. 87 00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:19,497 I know this kind of thing 88 00:03:19,515 --> 00:03:21,216 can be a grind, but Ben said that this 89 00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:24,002 is the most important thing we can do to help Leslie. 90 00:03:24,036 --> 00:03:26,171 So tonight is going to be fun. 91 00:03:26,205 --> 00:03:29,274 You're probably thinking, how could it possibly be fun? 92 00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:33,979 - No one's thinking that. - I kinda was. 93 00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:36,314 I was not. 94 00:03:36,348 --> 00:03:38,216 Why are we laughing? 95 00:03:38,251 --> 00:03:40,685 Well, anyway, tonight we are gonna spice things up 96 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,187 with a little competition. 97 00:03:42,221 --> 00:03:44,156 Whoever raises the most money by the end of the night 98 00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:48,160 will win two free movie passes to the Pawnee mono-plex. 99 00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:49,995 You really think that's gonna motivate people... 100 00:03:50,029 --> 00:03:52,247 oh, my God. 101 00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:55,584 I could use that for a romantic night with Millicent Gergich. 102 00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:57,202 Out of my way, suckers. 103 00:03:57,236 --> 00:03:59,504 As city manager, I play no favorites. 104 00:03:59,539 --> 00:04:00,872 But as a private citizen, 105 00:04:00,890 --> 00:04:03,308 I am free to support whomever I choose, 106 00:04:03,342 --> 00:04:05,343 and I choose to support team Knope 107 00:04:05,377 --> 00:04:08,113 'cause they're the best. Everybody's the best. 108 00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:09,417 We're all winners. 109 00:04:12,251 --> 00:04:13,752 Do I look laid-back? 110 00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:16,554 You look like you're trying to look laid-back. 111 00:04:16,572 --> 00:04:18,290 How about now? 112 00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:20,859 I think just... maybe just stand how you would normally stand. 113 00:04:20,893 --> 00:04:23,128 Okay. 114 00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:25,363 I forget now. Hey, Ron. 115 00:04:25,397 --> 00:04:27,699 - Thanks for coming, man. - Of course. 116 00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:30,635 This bowling alley has my favorite restaurant in Pawnee. 117 00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:38,076 Really? You're not scared to eat here? 118 00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:42,013 When I eat, it is the food that is scared. 119 00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:43,348 Why are you sitting weird? 120 00:04:43,382 --> 00:04:46,417 - Damn it. - Who's ready to bowl so hard? 121 00:04:46,435 --> 00:04:49,187 Tommy's new bowling swag. 122 00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:50,689 You know what? When you do it, 123 00:04:50,723 --> 00:04:52,057 you really do it. 124 00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:53,475 Good for you, man. 125 00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:56,061 Hello, I'm calling on behalf of Leslie Knope, 126 00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:57,863 who is running for city council. 127 00:04:57,897 --> 00:05:00,732 Is this Deirdre Splatterfork? 128 00:05:00,766 --> 00:05:01,933 That is literally the most beautiful name 129 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,318 I have ever heard. 130 00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:06,538 No, I don't think we can accept donations over $50. 131 00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:07,572 I don't really know why you would need 132 00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:09,641 my social security number, 133 00:05:09,675 --> 00:05:11,293 but... well, yeah, no. You're right. 134 00:05:11,327 --> 00:05:13,628 I guess it couldn't hurt to give it to you. It's 210... 135 00:05:13,663 --> 00:05:15,714 Absolutely nothing. 136 00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:18,300 What are you wearing? 137 00:05:18,334 --> 00:05:20,218 Fine, if you don't wanna donate, then don't. 138 00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:21,553 Oh, by the way... 139 00:05:21,587 --> 00:05:23,972 I'm calling from inside your house. 140 00:05:24,006 --> 00:05:27,425 - Ha ha! $100. - Whoa. 141 00:05:27,459 --> 00:05:31,012 This is unbelievable. I cannot be stopped. 142 00:05:36,152 --> 00:05:37,602 I don't care about that prize, 143 00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:40,472 but I'm gonna win because I want his happiness to go away. 144 00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:43,975 Type in "T Rex" for me. 145 00:05:43,993 --> 00:05:46,745 No, no, no. Um, "t-boz." 146 00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:50,415 Wait, wait. "Tommy Tsunami." 147 00:05:50,449 --> 00:05:51,833 No, "ticky ticky Tom-Tom." 148 00:05:51,867 --> 00:05:54,202 No, "fly guy." 149 00:05:54,253 --> 00:05:55,287 I wrote "tom." 150 00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:57,539 Classic. Timeless. 151 00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:59,824 I love it. 152 00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:02,994 "Girl"? 153 00:06:03,012 --> 00:06:04,629 I saw your ad from when you were a kid, 154 00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:06,131 but it's nice to have a beer and get to know you. 155 00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:07,132 Aw, thanks, Rich. 156 00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:09,301 Oh, here. Smile. 157 00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:11,269 Maybe you'll get your picture the Pawnee journal. 158 00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:13,505 Hey, this is going really well. 159 00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,106 Pretty decent turnout. 160 00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:17,709 Yeah, you know, I feel very, you know, casual, relaxed. 161 00:06:17,743 --> 00:06:21,613 Hey, is that the guy from the... from the focus group? 162 00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:23,865 Huh. I don't know. 163 00:06:23,899 --> 00:06:25,684 - I think it is. - Is it? 164 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:27,452 Excuse me, sir, would you mind telling me 165 00:06:27,486 --> 00:06:29,521 how you heard about the event tonight? 166 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:32,123 Oh, uh, I got a weird invitation in the mail. 167 00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:34,492 I didn't realize we were sending out invitations. 168 00:06:34,526 --> 00:06:35,994 Oh. 169 00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:39,331 Hey, you're that girl from the focus group thing I did. 170 00:06:39,365 --> 00:06:41,066 Oh, I wouldn't know. 171 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:43,068 I'm never on the other side of the glass with those things. 172 00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:44,386 Can I talk to you for a sec? 173 00:06:44,420 --> 00:06:45,407 Yep. 174 00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,875 Straight down the middle. 175 00:06:50,893 --> 00:06:53,979 No hook, no spin, no fuss. 176 00:06:54,013 --> 00:06:58,717 Anything more and this becomes figure skating. 177 00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:00,402 Come on, big girl. 178 00:07:00,436 --> 00:07:03,989 Let's knock these little pins down. 179 00:07:06,942 --> 00:07:08,693 Oh, my God, are you serious? 180 00:07:08,727 --> 00:07:11,730 Son, people can see you. 181 00:07:20,289 --> 00:07:22,874 Boom! 182 00:07:22,908 --> 00:07:25,744 That right there... Tommy's strike. 183 00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:27,912 Leslie, what happened to the big picture? 184 00:07:27,930 --> 00:07:29,264 I'm thinking about the big picture. 185 00:07:29,298 --> 00:07:30,415 I'm trying to make the picture bigger 186 00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:31,716 by including this guy in it. 187 00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:34,719 I can't do anything about my gender or my height, 188 00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:39,224 but I can win that guy over with a fun round of bowling. 189 00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:41,359 We need everyone here to see a different side of Leslie Knope, 190 00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:42,761 not one specific person. 191 00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,562 Some people just aren't gonna like you. 192 00:07:44,596 --> 00:07:47,265 - Let it go. - Okay, I hear you. 193 00:07:47,283 --> 00:07:50,201 I'll treat him just like everybody else. 194 00:07:50,236 --> 00:07:52,437 I'll just say hi to him, shake his hand, 195 00:07:52,455 --> 00:07:54,456 buy a him a few beers, 196 00:07:54,490 --> 00:07:56,624 share a few laughs, bowl a few frames, 197 00:07:56,659 --> 00:07:58,209 lose intentionally to make him feel good, 198 00:07:58,244 --> 00:07:59,344 friend him on Facebook. 199 00:07:59,378 --> 00:08:02,514 And by the end of the night, he will be mine. 200 00:08:05,779 --> 00:08:08,605 Whoa, "thar" she bowls. 201 00:08:08,623 --> 00:08:10,791 I'm Leslie Knope. 202 00:08:10,825 --> 00:08:12,242 You wanna bowl? You wanna bowl together? 203 00:08:12,276 --> 00:08:13,243 You wanna be, like, bowl buddies? 204 00:08:13,277 --> 00:08:14,278 Sure. 205 00:08:14,312 --> 00:08:16,830 Great, just a casual game, you know? 206 00:08:16,881 --> 00:08:19,550 - No biggie. - You okay? 207 00:08:19,584 --> 00:08:22,353 My sister has scoliosis, and I think you might, you know... 208 00:08:22,387 --> 00:08:24,221 Oh, no. No, I'm just... I'm just being cas. 209 00:08:24,255 --> 00:08:25,956 What are you rocking? A 15 pounder? 210 00:08:25,974 --> 00:08:28,559 - 16. - Whoa, hey, good for you. 211 00:08:28,593 --> 00:08:30,894 Oh, there they are. I just ordered some wings for us. 212 00:08:30,929 --> 00:08:32,229 You like wings? 213 00:08:32,263 --> 00:08:34,297 - Love them. - Really? Who knew? 214 00:08:34,316 --> 00:08:35,870 I knew. 215 00:08:42,941 --> 00:08:44,008 Damn it. 216 00:08:44,042 --> 00:08:45,609 Why are you mad? You bowled a strike. 217 00:08:45,643 --> 00:08:48,212 That's how I motivate myself, you know? 218 00:08:48,246 --> 00:08:49,496 Never good enough. 219 00:08:49,531 --> 00:08:51,332 - Let me get you a beer. - Cool. 220 00:08:51,366 --> 00:08:55,419 These beers are as cold as the Tuktoyaktuk Winter Road. 221 00:08:55,453 --> 00:08:57,855 You watch Ice Road Truckers? 222 00:08:57,889 --> 00:09:00,657 Yeah, dude. It's my guilty pleasure. 223 00:09:00,675 --> 00:09:03,694 Tom, I'm asking you as a man to stop this immediately. 224 00:09:12,670 --> 00:09:15,639 - Boom! - What the? 225 00:09:15,673 --> 00:09:18,442 Hello, is this Mrs. Gallivan? 226 00:09:18,476 --> 00:09:21,912 Well, my name is April, and wouldn't you know it, 227 00:09:21,946 --> 00:09:25,215 I'm raising money for a city council candidate I believe in. 228 00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:27,217 No, mira, mira, mira, mira, mira. 229 00:09:27,252 --> 00:09:28,919 It's, like, whatever you want. 230 00:09:28,953 --> 00:09:30,287 Like, $10. It don't matter. 231 00:09:30,321 --> 00:09:31,789 Well, I reckon it's just like 232 00:09:31,823 --> 00:09:34,291 grammy Martha told me and my cousins, 233 00:09:34,325 --> 00:09:37,027 "You can't eat the biscuits if you don't pay for the flour." 234 00:09:39,864 --> 00:09:43,067 Put the phone down, take a deep breath, 235 00:09:43,101 --> 00:09:45,586 and then you are going to tell Steven 236 00:09:45,637 --> 00:09:49,606 that you will be treated with respect, okay? 237 00:09:49,641 --> 00:09:52,042 And thank you for your donation. 238 00:09:52,060 --> 00:09:54,144 Well, gee, I don't know, Fred. 239 00:09:54,179 --> 00:09:58,048 All I know is that I just want to live in a world 240 00:09:58,083 --> 00:09:59,566 that's a better place, 241 00:09:59,601 --> 00:10:02,486 and your contribution will definitely help us get there, 242 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:06,156 to the... 243 00:10:06,191 --> 00:10:11,028 Better-place world, Fred. 244 00:10:11,062 --> 00:10:13,080 Yeehaw! 245 00:10:13,114 --> 00:10:16,166 Man, move over, pins. There's a new Sheriff in town. 246 00:10:16,201 --> 00:10:19,870 You are so down with strikes, they should call you Norma Rae. 247 00:10:19,904 --> 00:10:22,289 - Who's that? - It's a... 248 00:10:22,340 --> 00:10:24,407 Sally Field movie about Unions. Doesn't matter. 249 00:10:24,426 --> 00:10:25,709 The point is, you're really good at this. 250 00:10:25,744 --> 00:10:28,212 It's your turn. Try not to break a nail. 251 00:10:28,246 --> 00:10:30,798 Ah, classic Derek with the Zings. 252 00:10:30,849 --> 00:10:32,599 Man, that's what bowling is all about... hey. 253 00:10:32,634 --> 00:10:33,784 How's it going? 254 00:10:33,818 --> 00:10:35,269 - It's going really good. - Oh, good. 255 00:10:35,303 --> 00:10:36,687 Um, we're just hanging out and having a very good time. 256 00:10:36,721 --> 00:10:38,155 Okay, I just wanted to remind you that 257 00:10:38,189 --> 00:10:40,858 when you're bowling, try not to fixate on just one pin. 258 00:10:40,892 --> 00:10:44,128 You're trying to knock down a lot of pins. 259 00:10:44,162 --> 00:10:46,363 I realize that, but I will knock down this pin, 260 00:10:46,397 --> 00:10:48,031 and then this pin will knock down all the other pins. 261 00:10:48,066 --> 00:10:49,199 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 262 00:10:49,234 --> 00:10:51,468 Hey, could you get me another one of these? 263 00:10:51,503 --> 00:10:53,103 I... I don't work here. 264 00:10:53,138 --> 00:10:54,604 Classic Derek. 265 00:10:54,622 --> 00:10:56,740 I am taking a probiotic tea break. 266 00:10:56,775 --> 00:10:58,242 And while that is happening, 267 00:10:58,276 --> 00:10:59,626 I thought I might share some big news. 268 00:10:59,661 --> 00:11:03,347 I am going to ask Millicent Gergich to move in with me. 269 00:11:03,381 --> 00:11:05,749 I... I mean, if that's okay with you of course, Jerry. 270 00:11:05,783 --> 00:11:09,386 Uh, yeah. Of course. Sure. 271 00:11:09,420 --> 00:11:10,821 That's awesome, man. 272 00:11:10,855 --> 00:11:13,056 Hey, do you guys wanna live here with us and Ben 273 00:11:13,091 --> 00:11:14,758 and champion, the three-legged dog? 274 00:11:14,792 --> 00:11:17,895 - That is an amazing offer. - Yes! 275 00:11:17,929 --> 00:11:20,097 But I think we're probably gonna get our own place. 276 00:11:20,131 --> 00:11:22,065 I'm already working with a Real Estate agent 277 00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:23,433 to find an octagonal house. 278 00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:25,736 I've done some reading, and an octagon 279 00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:28,005 is the optimal shape for a home in terms of energy flow. 280 00:11:28,039 --> 00:11:29,806 You know, Chris, I hate to pull rank, 281 00:11:29,824 --> 00:11:31,441 but if you're going to take a break, 282 00:11:31,475 --> 00:11:32,876 would you mind going in the living room, 283 00:11:32,911 --> 00:11:35,312 just, you know, so it doesn't disturb everybody else. 284 00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:38,248 Jerry, I love it when you pull rank. 285 00:11:38,283 --> 00:11:39,416 You're being weird. Why? 286 00:11:39,450 --> 00:11:41,518 Milli's gonna break up with Chris. 287 00:11:41,553 --> 00:11:42,819 Shut up. 288 00:11:42,837 --> 00:11:43,821 Oh, my God, that's gonna super weird 289 00:11:43,855 --> 00:11:45,355 when they move in together. 290 00:11:45,390 --> 00:11:48,842 Yeah, I don't know when, but she is definitely gonna do it. 291 00:11:56,350 --> 00:11:57,852 Nice. 292 00:12:03,474 --> 00:12:05,242 Hey, Ron. Were you trying to get a seven? 293 00:12:05,276 --> 00:12:06,943 Because if you were, you did a great job. 294 00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:11,081 I am very angry right now. 295 00:12:13,415 --> 00:12:13,984 What? 296 00:12:14,718 --> 00:12:16,819 My finger was in there. 297 00:12:16,838 --> 00:12:18,171 Ron crushed my finger. 298 00:12:18,206 --> 00:12:20,373 I think it might be broken. 299 00:12:20,424 --> 00:12:23,593 - Are you a female bird? - It was an accident. 300 00:12:23,628 --> 00:12:26,363 Oh, my God, it's already swollen. 301 00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:28,698 Tom, my God, do you have any pride at all? 302 00:12:28,733 --> 00:12:31,301 You did this on purpose. You're jealous of my gift. 303 00:12:31,335 --> 00:12:33,637 Okay, come on, Tweety Bird, let's get you some ice. 304 00:12:33,671 --> 00:12:35,838 - It hurts. - Come on. 305 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,942 Well, congratulations, man. 306 00:12:38,976 --> 00:12:41,278 Fun match, fun game, good times. 307 00:12:41,312 --> 00:12:42,879 - Did you have fun? - Yeah. 308 00:12:42,914 --> 00:12:45,615 I'm not one to complain about free beer and free bowling. 309 00:12:45,650 --> 00:12:47,016 - See you around. - Okay. 310 00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:48,869 Uh, just one second. 311 00:12:48,903 --> 00:12:52,155 I'm running for city council, as you know, 312 00:12:52,190 --> 00:12:54,624 and uh, just wondering, do I have your vote? 313 00:12:54,659 --> 00:12:56,960 - No. - Derek. 314 00:12:56,994 --> 00:12:58,628 You old so-and-so. 315 00:12:58,663 --> 00:12:59,880 For reals, can I count on your vote? 316 00:12:59,914 --> 00:13:02,566 Yeah, no, um, I don't think so. 317 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:06,269 But we've been here bowling all night, 318 00:13:06,304 --> 00:13:07,504 and we've been having fun. 319 00:13:07,538 --> 00:13:11,074 And you're still not gonna vote for me? Why? 320 00:13:11,108 --> 00:13:14,344 - I don't like you, okay? - Leslie, Leslie. 321 00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:16,379 Well, you're a crappy bowler, 322 00:13:16,397 --> 00:13:17,714 and I pretended to lose to you. 323 00:13:17,732 --> 00:13:19,733 Yeah, right. I destroyed you. 324 00:13:19,767 --> 00:13:20,917 No, it's true. 325 00:13:20,952 --> 00:13:23,720 I am a really good bowler. Ask Ron. 326 00:13:23,738 --> 00:13:25,322 I don't know who Ron is. 327 00:13:25,356 --> 00:13:26,823 But if you're so great, let's play again. 328 00:13:26,857 --> 00:13:28,158 Good. I'd love to. 329 00:13:28,192 --> 00:13:30,226 Tell you what, if I win, I get your vote. 330 00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:32,495 If I win, you clean my house for a month. 331 00:13:32,530 --> 00:13:33,914 - Done. - Hey, Leslie. 332 00:13:33,948 --> 00:13:36,283 I'd like to introduce you to my good friend, anyone else. 333 00:13:36,334 --> 00:13:37,584 Not now, Ben. 334 00:13:37,618 --> 00:13:39,836 I'd like to introduce Derek's ass to my foot. 335 00:13:39,870 --> 00:13:41,871 Get me another beer. 336 00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:43,089 I don't work here. 337 00:13:43,124 --> 00:13:45,508 $20? Thank you. 338 00:13:45,543 --> 00:13:47,594 Uh, you know, we're really looking for donations 339 00:13:47,628 --> 00:13:50,347 more in the $10,000 range. 340 00:13:50,381 --> 00:13:52,015 - Hi, guys. - Hey. 341 00:13:52,049 --> 00:13:53,883 Just one second. Let me get off this call. 342 00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:58,688 Hi, I'm so sorry. I'm back. 343 00:14:08,332 --> 00:14:11,501 What, champion? You need to go outside now? 344 00:14:11,535 --> 00:14:14,103 Come on. That a boy. 345 00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:17,705 Sorry, he's... hates awkward situations. 346 00:14:23,481 --> 00:14:27,417 Oh! 347 00:14:27,451 --> 00:14:29,469 - Terrible moonwalk. - Don't care. 348 00:14:33,557 --> 00:14:35,124 Yeah, what's up now, huh? 349 00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:39,462 Aw, you got a spare. That's so cute. 350 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,097 Check out the scoreboard. 351 00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:44,768 So Millicent and I are going to take a nice little stroll, 352 00:14:44,802 --> 00:14:46,169 and I'll be back soon. 353 00:14:46,203 --> 00:14:47,337 You know, if you want to take the rest of the night off, 354 00:14:47,371 --> 00:14:48,571 you know, that would be fine. 355 00:14:48,606 --> 00:14:50,373 Well, I don't think that will be necessary. 356 00:14:50,408 --> 00:14:53,176 Unless you also want to go get dinner. 357 00:14:53,210 --> 00:14:55,445 Nope, this won't take too long. 358 00:14:55,479 --> 00:14:57,614 Chris, you might want to take a jacket with you. 359 00:14:57,648 --> 00:14:59,816 It's about to get cold out there. 360 00:14:59,850 --> 00:15:01,618 Thanks, Donna, but Millicent's company will keep me warm. 361 00:15:01,652 --> 00:15:02,952 Take the jacket. 362 00:15:02,987 --> 00:15:06,289 I wished for his happiness to go away. 363 00:15:06,324 --> 00:15:09,292 I might be a wizard. 364 00:15:11,295 --> 00:15:13,847 Hey, Derek. What a defeat, man. 365 00:15:13,881 --> 00:15:16,099 I mean, I did not expect to win by that much. 366 00:15:16,133 --> 00:15:18,435 But I warned you, I am a good bowler. 367 00:15:18,469 --> 00:15:20,520 - Whatever. - All joking aside, 368 00:15:20,554 --> 00:15:22,472 I wanna say that I actually had fun. 369 00:15:22,506 --> 00:15:25,642 And I'm really looking forward to your vote in the spring. 370 00:15:25,676 --> 00:15:27,727 Yeah, I'll just write in "bitch." 371 00:15:27,778 --> 00:15:29,479 I'm sorry, what did you just say? 372 00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:31,481 Just ignore him. He's being a jerk. 373 00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:33,533 I said she's a bitch. 374 00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:35,852 - Oh, my God. - What the hell? 375 00:15:35,870 --> 00:15:38,288 I'm so sorry. 376 00:15:38,322 --> 00:15:40,223 I'm so sorry. That was awesome. 377 00:15:40,257 --> 00:15:43,993 I'm so sorry. 378 00:15:44,028 --> 00:15:47,213 Oh, look. Here's that photo op you wanted. 379 00:15:47,248 --> 00:15:48,687 - Ow. - Sorry. 380 00:15:49,656 --> 00:15:51,320 So... you know... that's everything that happens 381 00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:53,235 so it was just what happened. It was just like... 382 00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:56,789 - What's wrong with you? - I don't know, I just... 383 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:57,840 I have a lot of adrenaline right now. 384 00:15:57,875 --> 00:16:00,376 Just take a few deep breaths, okay? 385 00:16:00,410 --> 00:16:01,761 The guy said he might press charges. 386 00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:03,262 Yeah, well, Randy, I would like you to know 387 00:16:03,297 --> 00:16:04,714 that we will not be pressing charges. 388 00:16:04,748 --> 00:16:06,265 Yeah, that really wasn't an option. 389 00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:08,217 Come on, the guy was being a total jerk. 390 00:16:08,251 --> 00:16:09,852 What Ben did was warranted 391 00:16:09,887 --> 00:16:11,687 and extremely awesome, by the way. 392 00:16:11,722 --> 00:16:13,589 Did you write down how awesome it was? 393 00:16:13,607 --> 00:16:14,957 When we write official reports, 394 00:16:14,992 --> 00:16:17,560 we refrain from using words like "jerk" or "awesome." 395 00:16:17,594 --> 00:16:19,779 - Hey, here you go. - Hey. 396 00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:21,697 Wow, you and me, huh? Hurt "fingies." 397 00:16:21,732 --> 00:16:24,116 No, no, two totally different injuries. 398 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:26,953 Okay, you... just hang in there, okay? 399 00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:29,055 Okay, love you too. Bye-bye. 400 00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,774 Well, that was Milli. It happened. 401 00:16:31,808 --> 00:16:33,109 She broke up with Chris. 402 00:16:33,143 --> 00:16:34,911 - Boo. - Damn you, Jerry. 403 00:16:34,945 --> 00:16:37,129 It's not my fault. 404 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:39,148 Well, I feel sorry for the man. 405 00:16:39,182 --> 00:16:41,217 Well, anyway, the fundraising challenge is over, 406 00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:42,852 and the winner... whoa. 407 00:16:42,886 --> 00:16:45,221 We have a surprise winner, April. 408 00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:48,257 April wins two tickets to the Pawnee mono-plex. 409 00:16:49,792 --> 00:16:51,794 Yes. That's my wife. 410 00:16:53,185 --> 00:16:55,130 Okay, everything's settled here. 411 00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,933 - Wanna head home? - No. 412 00:16:56,967 --> 00:16:59,802 We haven't finished yet. Last frame, your turn. 413 00:16:59,836 --> 00:17:02,772 - He hurt his hand. - Last frame, go. 414 00:17:02,806 --> 00:17:05,658 - Fine, I'll bowl one-handed, like an idiot. 415 00:17:12,683 --> 00:17:15,501 - Whoo! - Oh, come on. 416 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,353 King Kong ain't got nothing on me. 417 00:17:17,387 --> 00:17:19,171 Ow, my "fingie" still hurts. 418 00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:21,657 Oh, the bravery. The perseverance. 419 00:17:21,675 --> 00:17:22,692 You're an American hero. 420 00:17:22,726 --> 00:17:24,710 And the best part is, beautiful, 421 00:17:24,761 --> 00:17:27,847 you get to drive the champion home. 422 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,966 Well, the headline I would've gone with is 423 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:34,971 "no-strike-bowling bowler struck by Knope's striking beau." 424 00:17:35,005 --> 00:17:36,105 Okay, one more time. 425 00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:37,907 Let me resign. 426 00:17:37,941 --> 00:17:39,375 It's the only thing that truly protects you. 427 00:17:39,409 --> 00:17:41,344 - Non-starter. 428 00:17:41,378 --> 00:17:44,563 Okay. Now when you take questions, 429 00:17:44,615 --> 00:17:47,116 I think you should be brief and sincere. 430 00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,784 Don't try to justify what I did. 431 00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:51,070 Just apologize again, and stay on script. 432 00:17:51,121 --> 00:17:53,122 Are you sure that you don't need more whipped cream? 433 00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:54,991 Not today. I don't deserve it. 434 00:17:55,025 --> 00:17:59,795 I got us into this mess because I was fixating on that guy. 435 00:17:59,830 --> 00:18:01,197 But this is ridiculous. 436 00:18:01,231 --> 00:18:02,898 I do need more whipped cream. Ma'am. 437 00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:06,719 Hi. 438 00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:10,196 April Ludgate. How are you doing? 439 00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:13,893 Uh, whatever. I'm fine. 440 00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,911 Um, how are you? 441 00:18:15,945 --> 00:18:17,897 Well, as you may know, Millicent Gergich 442 00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,215 ended our relationship last night, 443 00:18:19,249 --> 00:18:21,717 which was disappointing. 444 00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:24,587 But here's why 445 00:18:24,621 --> 00:18:28,157 it may be the greatest thing that ever happened. 446 00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:37,266 Yeah, good point. 447 00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:39,168 Hadn't thought about it that way. 448 00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:43,089 Um, here. 449 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:44,256 Take these tickets. 450 00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:46,375 - Oh, no, no, no. Y-you earned them. 451 00:18:46,409 --> 00:18:47,509 They're movie tickets, Chris. 452 00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:49,345 They're, like, 8 bucks. 453 00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:50,346 It's a gesture. 454 00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,464 There are three of them. 455 00:18:51,515 --> 00:18:52,515 I thought there were only two. 456 00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:54,350 Yeah, I know, I bought another one 457 00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:56,986 because I thought that maybe you, me, and Andy 458 00:18:57,020 --> 00:19:01,657 could go to the movies sometime. 459 00:19:01,692 --> 00:19:03,893 Just take the stupid tickets. 460 00:19:03,927 --> 00:19:05,928 I'm just trying to be nice. 461 00:19:05,946 --> 00:19:10,466 - Thank you. - There you go. 462 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:13,569 Okay, bye. 463 00:19:13,603 --> 00:19:15,538 Leslie, are you going to fire Ben Wyatt? 464 00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:17,206 Are you going to suspend your campaign? 465 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,625 I'd like to first start by saying thank you for coming. 466 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,410 And on behalf of Ben Wyatt 467 00:19:21,445 --> 00:19:23,379 and everyone involved in my campaign, 468 00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:25,548 I'm very sorry for what happened 469 00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:29,385 at the Rock n' roll bowling alley last night. 470 00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:32,822 You know what? No, I'm not. 471 00:19:32,856 --> 00:19:34,056 I... I'm not sorry. 472 00:19:34,091 --> 00:19:37,459 This guy was drunk, and he was aggressive. 473 00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:39,178 And he was rude, and he was foul-mouthed. 474 00:19:39,229 --> 00:19:42,364 And he called me by my second least favorite term for a woman, 475 00:19:42,399 --> 00:19:44,467 and my campaign manager punched him. 476 00:19:44,501 --> 00:19:45,735 I do not condone violence, 477 00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:48,854 but I have to be honest, it was awesome. 478 00:19:48,905 --> 00:19:52,575 And my campaign manager and I made out a lot afterward. 479 00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:54,043 Ah, I probably shouldn't have said that. 480 00:19:54,077 --> 00:19:56,278 But that's what happened. 481 00:19:56,313 --> 00:19:58,814 Derek hates me, and I don't particularly like him. 482 00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:03,485 So what's the point, right, Derek? 483 00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:05,538 I feel like you're being kind of a bitch right now. 484 00:20:05,589 --> 00:20:07,923 See? So I'm not going to apologize. 485 00:20:07,958 --> 00:20:10,126 And if people won't vote for me because of that, 486 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:11,427 well, there's nothing I can do about it. 487 00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:13,095 But you should be warned. 488 00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:15,047 If you do not vote for me, 489 00:20:15,098 --> 00:20:17,666 my boyfriend might beat you up. 490 00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:19,435 Now if anyone has any questions 491 00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:23,505 about the issues facing our city, I'm right here. 492 00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:26,342 Okay, what are your overall impressions of this woman? 493 00:20:26,376 --> 00:20:29,862 What do you like about her? What don't you like about her? 494 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,013 - I like her. - What do you like 495 00:20:31,031 --> 00:20:32,214 about her specifically? 496 00:20:32,249 --> 00:20:34,283 I don't know. She's tough, I guess. 497 00:20:34,317 --> 00:20:35,517 I just like her. 498 00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:38,053 I like that that one guy punched that other guy, 499 00:20:38,088 --> 00:20:40,739 and then I like that she stood by him. 500 00:20:40,791 --> 00:20:42,491 See? People vote with their gut. 501 00:20:42,525 --> 00:20:45,194 Yeah, that guy said he didn't like my earrings. 502 00:20:45,212 --> 00:20:46,695 - Go punch him. - Sure. 503 00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:49,964 Here you go. Lane eight. 504 00:20:50,522 --> 00:20:54,057 No, Lane 22. The one at the very end. 505 00:21:00,908 --> 00:21:02,609 Son of a bitch. 506 00:21:15,557 --> 00:21:18,792 Hey, perfect game. What's your name? 507 00:21:18,827 --> 00:21:20,094 Put it up on a wall. 508 00:21:20,096 --> 00:21:21,369 I was never here, 509 00:21:21,752 --> 00:21:23,862 and you will never speak of this again 510 00:21:24,111 --> 00:21:26,470 Sync and Corrections by APOLLO www.addic7ed.com