1
00:00:00,641 --> 00:00:02,707
after all the
precints have reported.

2
00:00:02,742 --> 00:00:04,628
A final tally within 1%

3
00:00:04,662 --> 00:00:06,382
would trigger
an automatic recount.

4
00:00:06,416 --> 00:00:08,252
In the event
of an exact tie,

5
00:00:08,286 --> 00:00:10,006
the seat is awarded
to the male candidate,

6
00:00:10,057 --> 00:00:12,377
and the female candidate
is put in jail.

7
00:00:12,411 --> 00:00:14,064
Once again,
I have to object.

8
00:00:14,098 --> 00:00:15,967
I don't think
it would hold up in court,

9
00:00:15,986 --> 00:00:17,654
but it is city law.

10
00:00:17,688 --> 00:00:19,324
- Any questions?
- Yes, actually.

11
00:00:19,359 --> 00:00:22,647
At the 11th hour the Newports
are trying to install

12
00:00:22,665 --> 00:00:24,985
these voting machines
at several precincts

13
00:00:25,004 --> 00:00:26,255
around town.

14
00:00:26,289 --> 00:00:30,096
Watch what happens
when I vote for Bobby Newport.

15
00:00:30,130 --> 00:00:31,682
Good choice.

16
00:00:31,716 --> 00:00:33,769
Enjoy a voucher
for a complimentary

17
00:00:33,804 --> 00:00:35,473
Sweetums candy bar.

18
00:00:35,507 --> 00:00:37,027
Shouldn't we be rewarding
our citizens for voting?

19
00:00:37,061 --> 00:00:39,064
I'm never against anyone
getting a candy bar,

20
00:00:39,115 --> 00:00:42,687
but watch what happens
when you vote for me.

21
00:00:44,125 --> 00:00:45,743
Are you sure?
Take a second and think it over.

22
00:00:45,794 --> 00:00:48,215
Then you have
to press it again.

23
00:00:51,589 --> 00:00:52,557
To cancel your vote and select

24
00:00:52,591 --> 00:00:55,246
someone better,
press the Sweetums logo.

25
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:58,018
I'm sorry.
I just don't see the problem.

26
00:01:01,059 --> 00:01:06,664
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com

27
00:01:18,759 --> 00:01:20,062
Bobby Newport and I
are separated

28
00:01:20,096 --> 00:01:21,598
by a razor-thin margin.

29
00:01:21,616 --> 00:01:23,068
Could go either way.

30
00:01:23,102 --> 00:01:25,623
I've only slept nine hours
over the past four days,

31
00:01:25,657 --> 00:01:29,464
so I'm right on the verge
of a nervous breakdown.

32
00:01:29,499 --> 00:01:30,968
This isn't a bagel.

33
00:01:31,002 --> 00:01:32,637
Party starts at 7:00

34
00:01:32,671 --> 00:01:35,393
in the historic
Jermaine Jackson Ballroom

35
00:01:35,427 --> 00:01:36,812
at the Pawnee Supersuites.

36
00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:41,155
It is no longer
"A Pimps n' Hoes" pajama party.

37
00:01:41,189 --> 00:01:45,363
That idea was nixed
by a certain uptight nerd

38
00:01:45,414 --> 00:01:47,834
who shall remain nameless.

39
00:01:47,869 --> 00:01:50,173
By 10:00, we should know
if Leslie won the election,

40
00:01:50,207 --> 00:01:53,328
but more importantly,
tonight,

41
00:01:57,137 --> 00:01:59,173
Last night
at approximately 2:30 A.M.,

42
00:01:59,192 --> 00:02:01,144
I woke up from
a dream that felt so real

43
00:02:01,178 --> 00:02:02,814
that it had to be
a premonition.

44
00:02:02,848 --> 00:02:04,651
Me, Drake,
and the T-mobile girl

45
00:02:04,685 --> 00:02:06,788
were playing baccarat
on a private jet.

46
00:02:06,823 --> 00:02:09,661
Ann Perkins walks up to me,
and she says,

47
00:02:09,695 --> 00:02:13,352
"Tommy, tomorrow night,
I'm taking you back."

48
00:02:13,386 --> 00:02:17,727
Then Blue Ivy Carter high-fived
me and gave me $40 million.

49
00:02:17,761 --> 00:02:20,633
It was all so real.

50
00:02:21,168 --> 00:02:23,188
The reason why Bobby and I
are appearing together

51
00:02:23,222 --> 00:02:25,861
is to send the message that
everyone should get out and vote

52
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,196
no matter
who they're voting for.

53
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,701
That's right.
Another awesome point by Leslie.

54
00:02:29,735 --> 00:02:31,288
That's why I'm voting for you.

55
00:02:32,841 --> 00:02:34,461
What's so funny?

56
00:02:34,512 --> 00:02:35,763
They're laughing
at your joke.

57
00:02:35,797 --> 00:02:36,765
What joke?

58
00:02:36,799 --> 00:02:38,519
I am voting for you.

59
00:02:38,553 --> 00:02:40,022
You're not voting
for yourself?

60
00:02:40,057 --> 00:02:42,527
Leslie, you can't vote for
yourself, I don't think.

61
00:02:42,561 --> 00:02:45,283
I'm pretty sure that's illegal.

62
00:02:45,317 --> 00:02:46,451
Anything else?

63
00:02:48,373 --> 00:02:50,293
Hey,
you did an unbelievable job

64
00:02:50,327 --> 00:02:51,495
on this campaign, Ben.

65
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,832
My partners back in Washington
think so too.

66
00:02:53,884 --> 00:02:56,454
Well, Leslie gets the credit.
Not me.

67
00:02:56,472 --> 00:02:57,557
Look.

68
00:02:57,591 --> 00:02:59,728
Your opponent
is legendarily stupid

69
00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:02,266
and I phoned it in pretty hard,
but you have a knack for this.

70
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,821
I'm running congressman Murray's
reelection bid.

71
00:03:04,856 --> 00:03:06,358
Ohio, 19.

72
00:03:06,409 --> 00:03:08,445
I need someone
to coordinate out of D.C.

73
00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:10,700
You want to do it?

74
00:03:10,751 --> 00:03:13,205
Yeah, that sounds great,
but the Pacers called,

75
00:03:13,256 --> 00:03:15,126
and they're asking me to be
their starting point guard.

76
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:16,428
I'm being serious, Ben.

77
00:03:16,462 --> 00:03:19,017
What?

78
00:03:19,051 --> 00:03:21,388
What, you trust me with
a congressional campaign?

79
00:03:21,439 --> 00:03:23,275
Is this a trick?

80
00:03:23,309 --> 00:03:24,778
No.
This is a job offer.

81
00:03:24,812 --> 00:03:26,114
Give me your answer soon.

82
00:03:26,149 --> 00:03:29,872
I need you in Washington
in two days.

83
00:03:32,194 --> 00:03:34,965
Look at that thing.
What is that?

84
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,084
Don't touch it.

85
00:03:37,337 --> 00:03:38,639
Ann Perkins.

86
00:03:38,673 --> 00:03:39,925
Can I ask your
advice on something?

87
00:03:39,976 --> 00:03:40,927
Sure.

88
00:03:40,978 --> 00:03:42,230
Recently
in a moment of weakness,

89
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:44,818
I had sex with Bobby Newport's
campaign manager

90
00:03:44,853 --> 00:03:45,937
Jennifer Barkley.

91
00:03:45,988 --> 00:03:46,939
Seriously?

92
00:03:46,990 --> 00:03:48,659
Yes. Several times.

93
00:03:48,693 --> 00:03:49,778
And then several more times.

94
00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:52,617
And then
a couple more times.

95
00:03:52,668 --> 00:03:53,836
And then one more time.

96
00:03:53,871 --> 00:03:55,405
How has this been going on?

97
00:03:55,424 --> 00:03:56,541
Oh, it was just last night.

98
00:03:56,575 --> 00:03:58,796
Now, I know
it's a one-night stand

99
00:03:58,847 --> 00:04:00,082
and that she's leaving town,

100
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:02,687
but our ferocious
sexual decathlon

101
00:04:02,721 --> 00:04:04,390
did radically improve my mood.

102
00:04:04,424 --> 00:04:07,196
And I kind of like to see
her again before she leaves.

103
00:04:07,231 --> 00:04:09,701
Good idea? Bad idea?

104
00:04:09,735 --> 00:04:11,104
I don't know.

105
00:04:11,122 --> 00:04:13,325
I guess
the campaign's over, so...

106
00:04:13,376 --> 00:04:14,995
I suppose it couldn't hurt.

107
00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:17,134
Ann Perkins.

108
00:04:19,555 --> 00:04:22,310
April!
Got your message.

109
00:04:22,344 --> 00:04:23,345
Where are you?

110
00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:24,647
Under the table.

111
00:04:25,683 --> 00:04:27,905
Why are you hiding?

112
00:04:27,939 --> 00:04:30,192
Should I hide too?
What's going on?

113
00:04:30,243 --> 00:04:32,113
I was supposed to copy
all the department files

114
00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:33,815
onto a thumb drive,
and it kept freezing,

115
00:04:33,833 --> 00:04:35,536
and I got annoyed,
and I don't know what happened,

116
00:04:35,587 --> 00:04:38,342
but all the files are gone
on every computer.

117
00:04:38,376 --> 00:04:39,929
They're all gone.
Babe, they're all gone.

118
00:04:39,963 --> 00:04:40,964
Okay, okay.
Calm down.

119
00:04:40,998 --> 00:04:42,717
First of all,
you did the right thing

120
00:04:42,768 --> 00:04:44,387
by hiding under this table.

121
00:04:44,438 --> 00:04:46,893
Secondly, your man is here.

122
00:04:46,944 --> 00:04:48,779
I'm gonna take care
of this for us.

123
00:04:48,813 --> 00:04:50,984
I've been playing Xbox
for years.

124
00:04:51,518 --> 00:04:53,822
I'm really good at fixing it
when it freezes.

125
00:04:53,857 --> 00:04:55,125
I know exactly what to do.

126
00:05:01,372 --> 00:05:03,091
Try it now.

127
00:05:03,943 --> 00:05:04,710
I don't know.

128
00:05:04,728 --> 00:05:05,931
I feel like
I'm forgetting something.

129
00:05:05,982 --> 00:05:07,400
What about my speeches?

130
00:05:07,434 --> 00:05:08,435
Finished both of them
last night.

131
00:05:08,486 --> 00:05:09,939
One if you win,
one if you lose.

132
00:05:09,990 --> 00:05:11,074
What if I tie?

133
00:05:11,108 --> 00:05:12,577
You need to write
a tie-speech for me,

134
00:05:12,611 --> 00:05:15,082
something about
the poetic nature of democracy

135
00:05:15,116 --> 00:05:16,835
and how I'm going fight
this thing from my prison cell—

136
00:05:16,870 --> 00:05:18,255
Leslie, relax.
We're done.

137
00:05:18,289 --> 00:05:19,540
All that's left
is the waiting.

138
00:05:19,574 --> 00:05:20,676
Okay?

139
00:05:20,710 --> 00:05:22,463
What were you talking
to Jen about?

140
00:05:23,716 --> 00:05:24,885
Oh, nothing.

141
00:05:25,419 --> 00:05:28,609
No, I just— yeah, nothing.
She— she's—

142
00:05:28,643 --> 00:05:30,529
nothing. Nothing.
It's nothing.

143
00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:32,533
Hey, what's a good place
to buy jeans?

144
00:05:32,567 --> 00:05:34,537
You have plenty of jeans.

145
00:05:34,571 --> 00:05:36,607
What were you talking about?

146
00:05:36,626 --> 00:05:40,499
Jen offered me a job working
on a congressional campaign...

147
00:05:40,550 --> 00:05:41,886
Oh, my God,
that's amazing.

148
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:42,921
In Washington.

149
00:05:42,955 --> 00:05:44,474
What?

150
00:05:44,508 --> 00:05:46,962
Are you happy or angry?

151
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,983
I don't know.
I don't know.

152
00:05:49,518 --> 00:05:51,187
What did you say?
Did you say, "yes?"

153
00:05:51,238 --> 00:05:52,773
I haven't had a chance
to think about it.

154
00:05:52,807 --> 00:05:54,862
I mean, it sounds amazing,

155
00:05:54,913 --> 00:05:58,001
but you know, six months
in Washington, D.C.

156
00:05:58,536 --> 00:06:01,876
Away from you, but you know,
we should talk about it.

157
00:06:01,927 --> 00:06:02,928
Yeah.
We'll just talk about it.

158
00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:03,930
You know,
we'll mull it over,

159
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:05,332
we'll look at it
from every side.

160
00:06:05,350 --> 00:06:06,551
Et cetera, et cetera.
Just—

161
00:06:06,602 --> 00:06:07,553
I'm going to go vote,

162
00:06:07,604 --> 00:06:09,607
just fulfill
a lifelong dream of mine

163
00:06:09,641 --> 00:06:11,177
and achieve one of
my all-time happiest moments

164
00:06:11,195 --> 00:06:13,615
real quick,
and then we will talk about it.

165
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:15,736
Cool.

166
00:06:32,821 --> 00:06:34,440
Leslie, I can't figure
this thing out.

167
00:06:34,491 --> 00:06:35,743
Can you help me?

168
00:06:35,777 --> 00:06:36,862
Yeah, just hang on a second,
Bobby.

169
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:37,897
Ink all over my hands,

170
00:06:37,915 --> 00:06:40,619
and the pen thing-y came
off the chain.

171
00:06:41,671 --> 00:06:43,048
I don't get it!

172
00:06:47,535 --> 00:06:49,222
The polls have just closed,

173
00:06:49,256 --> 00:06:51,593
and now we're getting results
in the race for city council.

174
00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:53,730
With just 1%
of the precincts reporting,

175
00:06:53,765 --> 00:06:57,104
adult film star Brandi Maxxxx
has a commanding lead.

176
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,440
Oh, my God.
That's it.

177
00:06:58,491 --> 00:07:00,127
It's not Bobby Newport
who's going to beat me,

178
00:07:00,161 --> 00:07:01,646
it's Brandi Maxxxx,
the porn star.

179
00:07:01,681 --> 00:07:02,832
What is this? Italy?

180
00:07:02,867 --> 00:07:04,185
Listen,
I know you're stressed out,

181
00:07:04,219 --> 00:07:05,621
and I figured you would be,

182
00:07:05,655 --> 00:07:07,241
so I took the liberty
of arranging

183
00:07:07,259 --> 00:07:08,760
a fun little activity for us.

184
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:09,930
- You did?
- Mm-hmm.

185
00:07:09,965 --> 00:07:11,082
Oh, Ann.
Thank you so much.

186
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:12,385
I've said this to you before,

187
00:07:12,419 --> 00:07:13,387
and I know it makes you
uncomfortable...

188
00:07:13,421 --> 00:07:14,689
Oh, boy.

189
00:07:14,723 --> 00:07:16,276
But you're thoughtful,
and you're brilliant,

190
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,596
and your ambiguous ethnic blend
perfectly represents

191
00:07:18,615 --> 00:07:21,069
the dream
of the American melting pot.

192
00:07:21,103 --> 00:07:23,273
Okay, let's go.

193
00:07:25,629 --> 00:07:28,050
Another, Dana,
please and thank you.

194
00:07:28,084 --> 00:07:30,638
Ron, I handed out
1,000 leaflets today.

195
00:07:30,672 --> 00:07:33,226
That is a personal best.
Now I'm off to vote.

196
00:07:33,761 --> 00:07:35,080
The polls are closed.

197
00:07:35,531 --> 00:07:36,516
What?
No, no, no.

198
00:07:36,567 --> 00:07:38,019
I thought that
they close at 8:00.

199
00:07:38,570 --> 00:07:40,157
6:00.

200
00:07:40,441 --> 00:07:41,860
Oh, my God.

201
00:07:41,894 --> 00:07:43,363
Ron, I didn't get
to vote for Leslie.

202
00:07:43,397 --> 00:07:44,665
Oh, my God,
what do I do?

203
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:45,952
Nothing you can do.

204
00:07:46,003 --> 00:07:48,340
Except hope Leslie
doesn't lose by one vote.

205
00:07:48,875 --> 00:07:52,214
9% of precincts reporting,
and it's razor-thin

206
00:07:52,248 --> 00:07:54,101
and getting razor-thinner.

207
00:07:54,136 --> 00:07:55,520
Oh, boy.

208
00:07:55,555 --> 00:07:57,141
No. No.

209
00:07:57,192 --> 00:07:58,560
Jen Barkley.

210
00:07:58,594 --> 00:08:01,867
Hey.
What are you doing here?

211
00:08:01,901 --> 00:08:04,789
That was fun last night,
you old screamer.

212
00:08:04,823 --> 00:08:07,277
There were moments that
I didn't fully understand

213
00:08:07,295 --> 00:08:08,613
some of the physical shapes
that we were making...

214
00:08:08,631 --> 00:08:09,665
Mm.

215
00:08:09,716 --> 00:08:11,135
But the sensations
were amazing.

216
00:08:11,170 --> 00:08:13,006
- So I just went with it.
- Great.

217
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:14,425
Well, I thought
that we could just talk

218
00:08:14,459 --> 00:08:16,179
before you left town
if that's okay.

219
00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:18,516
No, but there's a supply room
over there with a futon.

220
00:08:18,567 --> 00:08:20,187
Great.

221
00:08:20,238 --> 00:08:23,326
Not yet. Just wait—
we're just getting supplies.

222
00:08:23,361 --> 00:08:26,499
Anybody need anything?
Pushpins— okay, good.

223
00:08:26,533 --> 00:08:28,336
Please hurry.

224
00:08:28,371 --> 00:08:30,257
I told her it's a matter
of life and death.

225
00:08:30,291 --> 00:08:31,659
Honey,
Donna's been here forever.

226
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:32,661
She's going
to know what to do.

227
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,830
What if she doesn't?

228
00:08:33,848 --> 00:08:35,350
I could get fired.

229
00:08:35,385 --> 00:08:37,838
Or even worse,
Leslie might give me a lecture

230
00:08:37,857 --> 00:08:39,675
on responsibility again,
I can't do it.

231
00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:40,945
I'll tell you what, honey.

232
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:43,566
Here's the deal.
You get fired, I'll quit.

233
00:08:43,617 --> 00:08:44,685
We'll leave together.

234
00:08:44,703 --> 00:08:46,456
I'm serious.
Move to a new city.

235
00:08:46,490 --> 00:08:47,825
Change our names,

236
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:50,130
burn our fingertips off
with acid,

237
00:08:50,164 --> 00:08:51,416
swap faces.

238
00:08:51,467 --> 00:08:53,386
- What?
- If we have to.

239
00:08:53,421 --> 00:08:54,890
Good.

240
00:08:54,924 --> 00:08:57,144
Yes. Nice.
Keep punching.

241
00:08:57,178 --> 00:08:58,313
- Did I hit your boob?
- No.

242
00:08:58,347 --> 00:08:59,565
Sorry.

243
00:08:59,599 --> 00:09:00,567
Great form.

244
00:09:00,601 --> 00:09:02,488
Maybe.
I have no idea actually.

245
00:09:02,522 --> 00:09:04,408
- I don't know what I'm doing.
- Yeah!

246
00:09:04,443 --> 00:09:05,727
That was good.
I'm exhausted.

247
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:06,829
How long was that?

248
00:09:06,865 --> 00:09:07,916
22 seconds.

249
00:09:08,450 --> 00:09:09,752
Boy,
that's disappointing.

250
00:09:10,287 --> 00:09:12,124
What are you going
to do about Ben?

251
00:09:12,175 --> 00:09:14,128
I just— I've been running
for office the entire time

252
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:15,263
we've been dating.

253
00:09:15,298 --> 00:09:17,768
We're just about
to get our lives back.

254
00:09:17,802 --> 00:09:19,421
It would kill me if he left.

255
00:09:19,439 --> 00:09:20,557
Then tell him that.

256
00:09:20,591 --> 00:09:23,113
Go find him
and tell him how you feel.

257
00:09:23,147 --> 00:09:25,099
And then the two of you could
work it out together.

258
00:09:27,739 --> 00:09:28,958
Election results, Ann.

259
00:09:28,992 --> 00:09:30,794
Ann, Ann, I can't read it.

260
00:09:30,828 --> 00:09:32,381
- Okay.
- Ann, my hands. My hands, Ann.

261
00:09:32,415 --> 00:09:33,383
- Here.
- They're in these round gloves.

262
00:09:33,417 --> 00:09:35,220
Here. Okay.

263
00:09:35,254 --> 00:09:36,556
20% of the precincts reporting.

264
00:09:36,590 --> 00:09:40,147
Bobby Newport
is up by 140 votes.

265
00:09:40,181 --> 00:09:42,317
Okay.
Let's get your hands back up.

266
00:09:42,352 --> 00:09:44,321
- Okay.
- Go another eight seconds.

267
00:09:45,358 --> 00:09:46,492
Oh, God, I'm so tired.

268
00:09:47,528 --> 00:09:48,998
Gin and tonic, please.

269
00:09:49,032 --> 00:09:52,821
Belay that order, Dana.
Lagavulin, neat.

270
00:09:53,340 --> 00:09:56,047
Clear alcohols are
for rich women on diets.

271
00:09:58,100 --> 00:10:00,020
What's on your mind, son?

272
00:10:00,054 --> 00:10:04,695
Well, Jen Barkley offered me
a job in Washington.

273
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:09,788
A great job, but I think
Leslie wants me to stay.

274
00:10:09,823 --> 00:10:11,242
What would you do?

275
00:10:11,793 --> 00:10:14,215
Well, I've never been one
for meeting new people

276
00:10:14,249 --> 00:10:18,506
or doing new things
or eating new types of food

277
00:10:18,540 --> 00:10:21,178
or traveling outside
of southern Indiana.

278
00:10:21,212 --> 00:10:23,984
I've had the same haircut
since 1978,

279
00:10:24,019 --> 00:10:26,739
and I've driven
the same car since 1991.

280
00:10:26,773 --> 00:10:30,697
I've used the same wooden comb
for three decades.

281
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,334
I have one bowl.

282
00:10:32,368 --> 00:10:34,505
I still get my milk
delivered by horse.

283
00:10:34,539 --> 00:10:35,790
You do?

284
00:10:35,841 --> 00:10:37,794
But you and Leslie
like to hold hands

285
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:41,802
and jump off of cliffs together
into the great unknown.

286
00:10:44,508 --> 00:10:47,397
You two have
a good relationship.

287
00:10:47,431 --> 00:10:50,120
I don't personally know
what that's like,

288
00:10:50,154 --> 00:10:52,992
but I'm given to understand
that means you're going to land

289
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:54,461
on your feet.

290
00:10:54,496 --> 00:10:59,973
So you really want things
to just stay exactly the same?

291
00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:02,227
But if Leslie wins,
you get my old job,

292
00:11:02,261 --> 00:11:03,846
assistant city manager, right?

293
00:11:03,898 --> 00:11:05,433
Seems that way.

294
00:11:05,467 --> 00:11:07,989
Then good luck
to the both of us.

295
00:11:13,199 --> 00:11:13,867
Hey—uh!

296
00:11:13,918 --> 00:11:14,919
Hmm!

297
00:11:17,258 --> 00:11:19,879
I have an update that
contains new information.

298
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:22,801
With 74%
of the precincts reporting,

299
00:11:22,835 --> 00:11:26,192
Leslie Knope is now winning
by 192 votes.

300
00:11:26,226 --> 00:11:27,361
Oh, thank God.

301
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,481
Oh, lord, please, please.
Let her win.

302
00:11:29,515 --> 00:11:30,650
Please, lord.
Please, lord, let her win.

303
00:11:30,684 --> 00:11:32,187
Please let her win.

304
00:11:32,205 --> 00:11:34,575
I'm just going to say this.

305
00:11:34,609 --> 00:11:36,947
And I realize this after
speaking with my best friend

306
00:11:36,981 --> 00:11:38,282
and relationship advisor
Ann Perkins

307
00:11:38,317 --> 00:11:39,301
from the department of health.

308
00:11:39,335 --> 00:11:41,055
Yes, I know Ann.

309
00:11:41,089 --> 00:11:42,724
I don't want you
to go to Washington.

310
00:11:42,759 --> 00:11:45,313
I know
it's an amazing opportunity,

311
00:11:45,347 --> 00:11:47,350
but in just a few minutes,
all this craziness

312
00:11:47,384 --> 00:11:48,352
is going to be over,

313
00:11:48,386 --> 00:11:51,776
and I just want
to have dinner with you.

314
00:11:51,827 --> 00:11:53,579
Like normal people.

315
00:11:53,614 --> 00:11:55,166
Yeah, then I won't go.

316
00:11:55,801 --> 00:11:56,502
Really?

317
00:11:56,536 --> 00:11:58,239
Yeah. Easy.

318
00:11:58,257 --> 00:11:59,842
I mean, I was on the fence
about it anyway.

319
00:11:59,877 --> 00:12:02,130
Washington's really far away,

320
00:12:02,181 --> 00:12:03,851
and I don't know
if I want to work with Jen.

321
00:12:03,885 --> 00:12:05,855
I mean, this just seals
the deal. I'll stay.

322
00:12:05,889 --> 00:12:07,975
Oh, thank God.

323
00:12:08,026 --> 00:12:10,396
What a relief.

324
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:12,952
Guys.

325
00:12:12,986 --> 00:12:15,290
It's been neck-in-neck,
too close to call all night,

326
00:12:15,324 --> 00:12:16,826
but now we're ready
to make a call

327
00:12:16,878 --> 00:12:18,379
in the race for city council.

328
00:12:18,413 --> 00:12:19,381
Bobby Newport...

329
00:12:19,415 --> 00:12:20,467
Oh, no.

330
00:12:20,501 --> 00:12:21,970
Scion of the Sweetums
candy empire

331
00:12:22,004 --> 00:12:24,926
and amateur go-kart champion
has won the race.

332
00:12:27,682 --> 00:12:28,984
Why are you laughing?

333
00:12:29,018 --> 00:12:31,438
Because my dream is dead.

334
00:12:32,808 --> 00:12:34,811
Oh, oh.

335
00:12:34,829 --> 00:12:36,315
Oh,

336
00:12:37,705 --> 00:12:39,276
Recount!
There's a recount.

337
00:12:39,277 --> 00:12:41,109
Oh, come on.
It's over.

338
00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:42,128
Just concede.

339
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:43,447
Newport won by 21 votes.

340
00:12:43,465 --> 00:12:45,468
That's well within
the margin for a recount.

341
00:12:45,502 --> 00:12:47,923
Please don't do this. I
really want to get out of here.

342
00:12:47,957 --> 00:12:50,511
How about this— why don't I
make you guys a deal?

343
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:51,513
Okay,
there's no deal in the world

344
00:12:51,564 --> 00:12:52,815
that we would ever possibly—

345
00:12:52,851 --> 00:12:53,935
I'll give you
Joe Biden's home phone number.

346
00:12:53,969 --> 00:12:55,321
Now, hang on.
That's interesting.

347
00:12:55,355 --> 00:12:56,740
No, no,
you're not thinking clearly.

348
00:12:56,774 --> 00:12:57,825
Mr. Commissioner,

349
00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:59,612
the recount
has to start immediately.

350
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:00,814
It's the law.

351
00:13:00,832 --> 00:13:02,335
Now I'm not leaving
until you make the call.

352
00:13:02,369 --> 00:13:04,874
He's right, Ms. Barkley.
It'll start right away.

353
00:13:04,925 --> 00:13:07,712
- Keep your phones on.
- Terrence!

354
00:13:07,763 --> 00:13:11,019
I just want to go home.

355
00:13:11,053 --> 00:13:12,388
Hey, any news?

356
00:13:12,439 --> 00:13:15,528
They said the recount could take
two hours, but who knows.

357
00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:16,696
Man, this is stressful.

358
00:13:16,731 --> 00:13:18,200
I picked the wrong week
to do a juice cleanse.

359
00:13:18,234 --> 00:13:20,020
Okay, I think Leslie
should say something

360
00:13:20,038 --> 00:13:21,991
to the troops just to get
everyone's spirits up.

361
00:13:22,025 --> 00:13:23,043
- Where is she?
- I don't know.

362
00:13:23,077 --> 00:13:25,298
She's not answering her phone.

363
00:13:26,334 --> 00:13:28,420
What?
No one knows where she is?

364
00:13:34,266 --> 00:13:35,902
That's a nice chair.

365
00:13:35,937 --> 00:13:39,442
Corinthian leather,
solid mahogany frame

366
00:13:39,493 --> 00:13:42,398
with what I believe are hand-cut
mortise and tenon joints

367
00:13:42,416 --> 00:13:43,918
pinned with oak.

368
00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:46,122
I was really looking forward
to sitting in it.

369
00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:48,176
Figured this might be
my last chance.

370
00:13:48,211 --> 00:13:49,964
You don't know that.

371
00:13:50,015 --> 00:13:51,934
Ron,
for the last six months,

372
00:13:51,969 --> 00:13:53,687
my friends have worked so hard.

373
00:13:53,721 --> 00:13:55,859
Every five-minute coffee break
at work,

374
00:13:55,893 --> 00:13:58,230
every night, every weekend,

375
00:13:58,264 --> 00:14:00,034
every spare moment
of their lives,

376
00:14:00,068 --> 00:14:01,486
they gave to me.

377
00:14:01,537 --> 00:14:05,311
If I lose,
I'll never forgive myself.

378
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,214
You deserve to win.

379
00:14:07,749 --> 00:14:10,170
We didn't volunteer
to help you

380
00:14:10,221 --> 00:14:13,560
because we wanted to wrap
ourselves in personal glory.

381
00:14:13,595 --> 00:14:18,070
We did it because
we... care about you.

382
00:14:18,104 --> 00:14:21,309
You had a dream, and we
wanted to support your dream.

383
00:14:21,827 --> 00:14:24,415
That's what you do
when you care about someone.

384
00:14:24,450 --> 00:14:27,038
You support them,
win, lose, or draw.

385
00:14:27,839 --> 00:14:29,509
Let's go back to the party.

386
00:14:29,543 --> 00:14:32,099
You drive.
I've had 11 whiskeys.

387
00:14:33,134 --> 00:14:35,304
Okay.
That's good on places to live.

388
00:14:35,338 --> 00:14:37,441
Let's go back to dream jobs.

389
00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:39,562
If we had to start
a new life,

390
00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:42,735
I have Detective, FBI agent,
policeman, CIA agent.

391
00:14:42,786 --> 00:14:44,355
So we need more for you.
Let's go.

392
00:14:44,373 --> 00:14:45,959
- Andy, I—
- It's fun.

393
00:14:45,993 --> 00:14:47,128
I'm trying to help you

394
00:14:47,162 --> 00:14:49,532
take your mind off
of this horrible mistake

395
00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:51,536
you made
deleting all these files,

396
00:14:51,554 --> 00:14:53,223
probably the worst thing
to ever happen

397
00:14:53,257 --> 00:14:54,592
in Parks and Rec history.

398
00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:57,098
You will certainly get fired,
and I'm trying to help.

399
00:14:57,149 --> 00:14:58,316
God.

400
00:14:58,351 --> 00:15:00,404
So dream jobs, go.
Dream big, kid!

401
00:15:00,438 --> 00:15:01,606
Fine.

402
00:15:01,657 --> 00:15:04,395
Uh, dental hygienist
who's also a medium,

403
00:15:04,413 --> 00:15:05,698
so I can clean people's teeth

404
00:15:05,732 --> 00:15:07,234
and tell them
when they're going to die.

405
00:15:07,252 --> 00:15:08,787
That's brilliant.

406
00:15:08,838 --> 00:15:10,007
Let's make this fast.

407
00:15:10,041 --> 00:15:11,576
I almost made it
with Councilman Howser

408
00:15:11,594 --> 00:15:12,595
before you interrupted us.

409
00:15:12,629 --> 00:15:13,797
Which files did you delete?

410
00:15:13,848 --> 00:15:14,916
All of them.

411
00:15:14,934 --> 00:15:17,138
I just put
the stupid flash drive in,

412
00:15:17,189 --> 00:15:18,356
and then I tried to drag
everything over, and—

413
00:15:18,391 --> 00:15:19,375
Fixed it.

414
00:15:19,410 --> 00:15:20,644
- What?
- What? How?

415
00:15:20,678 --> 00:15:22,732
Jerry accidentally
deletes things all the time.

416
00:15:22,766 --> 00:15:24,937
Ten years ago, I installed
my own secret backup.

417
00:15:24,971 --> 00:15:27,491
- You saved us, Donna.
- Oh.

418
00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:28,493
- I love you.
- Oh.

419
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,030
Okay.
Bring it in, boy.

420
00:15:33,204 --> 00:15:34,672
There you are.
Thank God.

421
00:15:34,706 --> 00:15:36,659
We're going to get
the final results any minute.

422
00:15:36,677 --> 00:15:39,465
I know.
Do you have both my speeches?

423
00:15:39,499 --> 00:15:40,634
Yes.

424
00:15:40,668 --> 00:15:43,140
You seem calmer
than I expected you'd be.

425
00:15:43,174 --> 00:15:44,777
I got you something.

426
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,316
Let me open it for you.

427
00:15:53,527 --> 00:15:55,047
You have to go to Washington.

428
00:15:55,081 --> 00:15:57,468
I told you
I'm turning it down.

429
00:15:57,502 --> 00:15:59,305
I was being selfish.

430
00:15:59,339 --> 00:16:02,144
You put your whole life
on hold for me.

431
00:16:02,179 --> 00:16:05,818
The very least I can do
is try to return the favor.

432
00:16:05,853 --> 00:16:07,771
Are you sure about this?

433
00:16:07,823 --> 00:16:09,575
We can make it work.

434
00:16:09,610 --> 00:16:11,947
I will visit you,
then you come visit me.

435
00:16:11,998 --> 00:16:13,333
And then I go visit you again.

436
00:16:13,367 --> 00:16:15,838
And then we make out
in the Lincoln bedroom...

437
00:16:15,873 --> 00:16:17,625
And the Jefferson Memorial

438
00:16:17,676 --> 00:16:19,629
and the Supreme Court gallery.

439
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:21,599
We'll do it all over Washington.

440
00:16:21,634 --> 00:16:24,188
Thank you.

441
00:16:25,926 --> 00:16:28,196
Where did you get
a Washington Monument figurine

442
00:16:28,231 --> 00:16:30,033
at midnight on a Tuesday?

443
00:16:30,568 --> 00:16:33,323
From my office.
I have, like, 50 of them.

444
00:16:33,374 --> 00:16:34,877
Right.

445
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:36,997
The recount's over.

446
00:16:37,048 --> 00:16:38,216
They just called the race.

447
00:16:38,251 --> 00:16:39,754
Oh, God.

448
00:16:42,092 --> 00:16:45,132
It's still 21 votes.

449
00:16:48,153 --> 00:16:50,209
But you won.

450
00:16:52,829 --> 00:16:55,651
You won, Leslie.
You won by 21 votes.

451
00:16:56,670 --> 00:16:58,841
It's confirmed.
It's over.

452
00:16:58,876 --> 00:17:00,177
You won.

453
00:17:01,113 --> 00:17:02,882
That was really sneaky, Ann.

454
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:04,552
I know. I couldn't resist.

455
00:17:14,573 --> 00:17:17,879
Honestly, I've never been more
relieved in my entire life.

456
00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:19,582
I didn't ruin it.

457
00:17:19,633 --> 00:17:22,087
I thought I ruined it,
but I didn't ruin it.

458
00:17:22,138 --> 00:17:23,706
You're kind of ruining it now.

459
00:17:23,724 --> 00:17:25,644
Great.
That is great news.

460
00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:27,481
I'm going to see you in D.C.

461
00:17:27,515 --> 00:17:29,018
- Yeah, I guess you will.
- Yeah.

462
00:17:29,052 --> 00:17:30,821
Oh, damn it.

463
00:17:30,856 --> 00:17:32,574
Didn't get a chance
to say good-bye to Chris.

464
00:17:32,609 --> 00:17:35,330
Oh, he's just
right over there.

465
00:17:35,365 --> 00:17:36,749
Eh.
He seems really busy.

466
00:17:36,784 --> 00:17:38,253
Anyway, would you tell him
I said good-bye?

467
00:17:38,287 --> 00:17:39,422
Great! Thank you.

468
00:17:39,456 --> 00:17:40,590
Sorry we didn't get
a chance to meet.

469
00:17:40,625 --> 00:17:42,094
- I'm Ann.
- That doesn't matter.

470
00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:43,129
I'm leaving.

471
00:17:47,389 --> 00:17:51,947
Congratulations,
Mr. Assistant City Manager.

472
00:17:51,981 --> 00:17:53,233
I'm very grateful, Chris,

473
00:17:53,267 --> 00:17:55,988
but I think I'm going
to turn down the job.

474
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:56,990
Really? Why?

475
00:17:57,742 --> 00:17:59,712
I like where I am.

476
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:02,468
Uh-oh, uh-oh.

477
00:18:02,502 --> 00:18:04,288
Did someone just talk
about a job opening?

478
00:18:04,306 --> 00:18:06,309
Because guess
who's got two thumbs

479
00:18:06,343 --> 00:18:09,298
and was just cleared
from insurance fraud?

480
00:18:09,316 --> 00:18:12,404
This guy, you know?

481
00:18:15,644 --> 00:18:17,364
What's the gig?
I'm in.

482
00:18:17,415 --> 00:18:18,366
There's no job for you.

483
00:18:18,417 --> 00:18:19,535
Smart move.
Go with your gut.

484
00:18:19,586 --> 00:18:22,291
All right?
I'll talk to you guys soon.

485
00:18:23,026 --> 00:18:26,132
Your victory speech,
Councilwoman Knope.

486
00:18:26,166 --> 00:18:29,054
Some day, when I'm
more emotionally stable,

487
00:18:29,106 --> 00:18:31,058
I want to read the concession
speech you wrote for me.

488
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:34,231
I never wrote it.

489
00:18:34,282 --> 00:18:36,119
And I know all of you know

490
00:18:36,153 --> 00:18:38,123
how hard she worked to get here.

491
00:18:38,157 --> 00:18:39,859
She is
the next city councilwoman

492
00:18:39,877 --> 00:18:42,047
from the great city of Pawnee,
ladies and gentlemen,

493
00:18:42,081 --> 00:18:44,835
my best friend in the world,
Leslie Knope.

494
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:51,649
The idea behind this campaign
was a simple one:

495
00:18:51,683 --> 00:18:54,605
That with hard work
and positivity,

496
00:18:54,656 --> 00:18:57,444
a group of people can make
a difference

497
00:18:57,495 --> 00:19:00,450
during my term
as your city councilor...

498
00:19:01,570 --> 00:19:03,289
Thank you.

499
00:19:03,340 --> 00:19:05,760
I want to focus on your hopes
and not your fears.

500
00:19:05,795 --> 00:19:09,468
I want to solve problems
instead of creating friction.

501
00:19:09,519 --> 00:19:12,942
And I will work hard
every hour of every day

502
00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:15,530
to make Pawnee
a better place to live

503
00:19:15,565 --> 00:19:18,388
because I love this city.

504
00:19:20,324 --> 00:19:25,617
And I know firsthand,
how very special

505
00:19:25,635 --> 00:19:27,454
the people of this city are.

506
00:19:27,488 --> 00:19:30,010
I owe this victory,
all of it,

507
00:19:30,061 --> 00:19:32,231
to my friends
and my supporters.

508
00:19:32,265 --> 00:19:35,070
No one achieves
anything alone.

509
00:19:35,104 --> 00:19:37,942
So let's embark
on a new journey together.

510
00:19:37,976 --> 00:19:40,530
Let's break out a map.

511
00:19:40,581 --> 00:19:43,786
Not the old, out-of-date one
that shows where we've been,

512
00:19:43,820 --> 00:19:47,845
but a crisp new one that shows
where we might go.

513
00:19:48,882 --> 00:19:51,637
Let's embark
on a new journey together

514
00:19:53,173 --> 00:19:55,510
and see where it takes us.

515
00:20:00,114 --> 00:20:01,548
Tommy!

516
00:20:01,582 --> 00:20:03,386
This party was amazing,

517
00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:04,388
you're amazing.

518
00:20:04,422 --> 00:20:07,360
You are ridiculous,
but I like you,

519
00:20:07,395 --> 00:20:08,779
and I think that
we should date—all of it.

520
00:20:08,814 --> 00:20:10,316
Let's do it.
Let's date.

521
00:20:10,367 --> 00:20:14,324
This is my dream.
Nostra-Thomas is happening.

522
00:20:14,375 --> 00:20:16,795
- Awesome.
- Hey, let's move in together.

523
00:20:16,931 --> 00:20:18,265
Phhhht!
Totally.

524
00:20:18,316 --> 00:20:20,069
- Really?
- Yeah.

525
00:20:20,104 --> 00:20:22,574
All right, no take-backs when
we sober up, little partner.

526
00:20:22,608 --> 00:20:25,864
No take-backs, partner.

527
00:20:25,898 --> 00:20:26,866
We're cowboys.

528
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:28,836
Great win, great night.

529
00:20:28,871 --> 00:20:31,091
Great year.
Hot wife.

530
00:20:31,526 --> 00:20:32,460
Jackpot.

531
00:20:35,217 --> 00:20:37,187
Good job, me.

532
00:20:37,221 --> 00:20:38,355
Oh, my God.
Babe.

533
00:20:38,390 --> 00:20:39,524
You know what?

534
00:20:39,559 --> 00:20:40,927
Almost everything
you wrote on that board

535
00:20:40,945 --> 00:20:42,730
as a dream job was
some type of police officer.

536
00:20:42,764 --> 00:20:45,236
Yeah.
You ready to go?

537
00:20:45,270 --> 00:20:46,488
No, listen to me.

538
00:20:46,539 --> 00:20:47,490
- Mm-hmm.
- How does this sound?

539
00:20:47,541 --> 00:20:50,464
"Officer Dwyer, Pawnee PD."

540
00:20:51,499 --> 00:20:53,669
Guys, we're going to JJ's
for victory waffles,

541
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:55,089
and then we're staying up
all night

542
00:20:55,123 --> 00:20:56,592
talking about our lives
and our feelings.

543
00:20:56,626 --> 00:20:58,512
Nonnegotiable.
Let's go!

544
00:20:58,547 --> 00:21:00,934
City council, bitches!

545
00:21:02,137 --> 00:21:05,193
- Jerry forgot to vote.
- Damn it, Jerry.

546
00:21:05,281 --> 00:21:11,238
Sync & corrections by Alice
VeRdiKT
www.addic7ed.com