1 00:00:00,730 --> 00:00:02,096 Washington, D.C. 2 00:00:02,649 --> 00:00:04,594 Take a deep breath, Andy. 3 00:00:05,161 --> 00:00:07,794 I mean, you can practically smell the bills becoming laws. 4 00:00:07,795 --> 00:00:08,828 Yeah. 5 00:00:08,829 --> 00:00:11,061 You can taste the sweet sugar of bureaucracy at work. 6 00:00:12,028 --> 00:00:13,494 That building looks like a boob. 7 00:00:13,562 --> 00:00:15,094 - Yeah, well, it's not. - Oh, yeah, I know. 8 00:00:15,162 --> 00:00:17,127 - It's the white house. - No. It's the Capitol. 9 00:00:17,195 --> 00:00:19,428 My amazing lover, Ben Wyatt, is here 10 00:00:19,495 --> 00:00:21,161 working on a congressional campaign. 11 00:00:21,228 --> 00:00:23,960 And he took April with him as his intern. 12 00:00:24,028 --> 00:00:26,161 I'm here to visit, but I am also here to work, 13 00:00:26,228 --> 00:00:27,794 because I have a very important meeting 14 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,794 where I am going to try to get federal funding 15 00:00:29,861 --> 00:00:31,860 so we can clean up the Pawnee river. 16 00:00:31,928 --> 00:00:33,328 It's a bit of a fixer-upper. 17 00:00:33,395 --> 00:00:36,227 Romantic reunions, government meetings, 18 00:00:36,295 --> 00:00:37,960 self-guided museum tours... 19 00:00:38,028 --> 00:00:40,860 I mean, am I living the dream? I don't know. 20 00:00:40,928 --> 00:00:42,794 Did I also just walk past a food truck 21 00:00:42,861 --> 00:00:45,827 and buy myself a waffle sundae? Yes. 22 00:00:45,895 --> 00:00:47,127 Now take out your guidebook. 23 00:00:47,195 --> 00:00:48,227 Oh, I didn't bring a guidebook. 24 00:00:48,295 --> 00:00:49,461 - Oh, I brought you one. - You did? 25 00:00:49,529 --> 00:00:50,927 - Yeah. - Thank you. 26 00:00:50,995 --> 00:00:53,194 Now throw it away, 'cause Leslie Knope is your guidebook. 27 00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:54,994 I didn't... 28 00:00:55,062 --> 00:00:57,161 I didn't mean literally. There were some notes in it. 29 00:00:57,228 --> 00:00:59,627 Okay, grab the book, and let's hit the National Mall. 30 00:00:59,695 --> 00:01:00,860 There's a mall? That's awesome. 31 00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:02,161 I need to get some flip-flops. 32 00:01:05,228 --> 00:01:09,823 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com 33 00:01:22,429 --> 00:01:24,561 Why are we having a conference-room meeting? 34 00:01:24,628 --> 00:01:25,994 Leslie's gone. 35 00:01:26,062 --> 00:01:28,494 Ron has taken initiative, and he is leading the meeting. 36 00:01:30,429 --> 00:01:31,827 He's not joking. 37 00:01:31,895 --> 00:01:34,361 I wanted to let you all know that I will be throwing 38 00:01:34,429 --> 00:01:37,760 the annual Parks Department employee-appreciation barbecue. 39 00:01:37,828 --> 00:01:39,894 You're going to throw the Leslie Knope 40 00:01:39,961 --> 00:01:43,361 Employment Enjoyment Summerslam Grill Jam Fun-splosion? 41 00:01:43,429 --> 00:01:44,860 That's right. 42 00:01:44,928 --> 00:01:46,727 You are gonna oversee the Popsicle-eating contest, 43 00:01:46,795 --> 00:01:47,894 the slip'n slide-a-thon, 44 00:01:47,961 --> 00:01:50,261 the watermelon carving, the gazpacho-off, 45 00:01:50,329 --> 00:01:52,727 and star in a one-woman show 46 00:01:52,795 --> 00:01:54,428 about parks rules and regulations? 47 00:01:54,495 --> 00:01:55,994 "Parks and Dolls." 48 00:02:04,095 --> 00:02:06,560 I am not doing any of that, which is the point. 49 00:02:06,628 --> 00:02:09,827 Every summer Leslie throws a barbecue 50 00:02:09,895 --> 00:02:11,528 to thank the Parks and Maintenance staff. 51 00:02:11,594 --> 00:02:13,694 It's horrifying. 52 00:02:13,761 --> 00:02:15,494 Barbecues should be about one thing... 53 00:02:15,561 --> 00:02:17,527 good, shared meat. 54 00:02:17,594 --> 00:02:19,994 There will be no froofy desserts. 55 00:02:20,062 --> 00:02:22,494 There will be no giant-soap-bubble guns. 56 00:02:22,561 --> 00:02:24,927 There will be no adult men in costumes. 57 00:02:24,995 --> 00:02:26,660 And most of all, 58 00:02:26,728 --> 00:02:29,660 there will be no bleeping vegetables. 59 00:02:29,728 --> 00:02:32,027 Well, Ron, can we at least have corn on the cob? 60 00:02:34,995 --> 00:02:36,194 No. 61 00:02:36,761 --> 00:02:37,960 "In this temple, 62 00:02:38,028 --> 00:02:41,328 "As in the hearts of the people for whom he saved the Union, 63 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:44,194 the memory of Abraham Lincoln is enshrined forever." 64 00:02:44,262 --> 00:02:46,194 Andy, what are you doing? 65 00:02:46,262 --> 00:02:48,994 Have you ever seen any of the National Treasure movies? 66 00:02:49,062 --> 00:02:50,894 Everything in this city is a clue. 67 00:02:50,961 --> 00:02:52,394 Nothing in that movie is accurate. 68 00:02:52,462 --> 00:02:54,094 Aha! A clue! 69 00:02:54,162 --> 00:02:56,161 Check it out. 70 00:02:56,228 --> 00:02:57,493 I think that's just gum. 71 00:02:57,561 --> 00:02:59,127 How do I know this isn't a treasure map 72 00:02:59,195 --> 00:03:00,328 just waiting to be unfurled? 73 00:03:00,395 --> 00:03:03,061 - Because it's gum. - That's gum. 74 00:03:03,128 --> 00:03:04,261 Yeah. 75 00:03:04,329 --> 00:03:05,593 So you can see that the color changes 76 00:03:05,661 --> 00:03:07,927 about 1/3 of the way up, and it's when construction 77 00:03:07,995 --> 00:03:09,027 was actually halted on the monu... 78 00:03:09,095 --> 00:03:10,593 Leslie, this is a really cool penis, 79 00:03:10,661 --> 00:03:12,161 but Ben and April are meeting us 80 00:03:12,228 --> 00:03:13,694 at the Smithsonian in 10 minutes. 81 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:16,760 Let's talk on the way. 1776, a nation was born. 82 00:03:16,828 --> 00:03:18,061 Which nation? 83 00:03:19,127 --> 00:03:21,261 I offered Ron a job last month, 84 00:03:21,329 --> 00:03:22,428 and he turned me down. 85 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:25,194 And it literally broke my heart. 86 00:03:25,262 --> 00:03:29,294 But now I see that this is truly where he belongs. 87 00:03:29,362 --> 00:03:31,094 Way to be, Ron! 88 00:03:31,162 --> 00:03:34,927 You're really getting it done, man! 89 00:03:34,995 --> 00:03:36,227 He can't hear me. 90 00:03:36,295 --> 00:03:38,328 Okay, let's begin the barbecue. 91 00:03:38,395 --> 00:03:40,227 Oh, hey, little guy. 92 00:03:40,295 --> 00:03:42,860 What are you doing? Oh, no. 93 00:03:42,928 --> 00:03:44,394 Everyone, meet your meat. 94 00:03:44,461 --> 00:03:47,227 No! 95 00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:48,527 Why are you doing this to us? 96 00:03:48,594 --> 00:03:49,894 Well, in my opinion, not enough people 97 00:03:49,961 --> 00:03:51,328 have looked their dinner in the eyes 98 00:03:51,395 --> 00:03:53,794 and considered the circle of life. 99 00:03:53,861 --> 00:03:56,261 This is your dinner. His name is Tom. 100 00:03:57,328 --> 00:03:58,527 Burn. 101 00:03:58,594 --> 00:03:59,627 Seriously? 102 00:03:59,695 --> 00:04:01,394 I understand that it's hilarious, 103 00:04:01,461 --> 00:04:03,361 but that is his given, Christian name. 104 00:04:03,428 --> 00:04:05,827 Tom is very smart and incredibly loyal. 105 00:04:05,895 --> 00:04:07,493 He's basically a dog. 106 00:04:07,561 --> 00:04:09,860 A dog we're going to cook, chew, and swallow. 107 00:04:09,928 --> 00:04:11,760 Dude, there's kids around here. 108 00:04:11,828 --> 00:04:12,760 Good point. 109 00:04:12,828 --> 00:04:14,127 Which one of you youngsters 110 00:04:14,195 --> 00:04:15,894 wants to help me drain the blood from this animal? 111 00:04:15,961 --> 00:04:18,261 If you do a good job, I'll give you the bladder. 112 00:04:18,329 --> 00:04:20,527 You can blow it up for a fun play ball. 113 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,894 Hey, Ron. 114 00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:24,094 You're not going to slaughter that pig here, are you? 115 00:04:24,162 --> 00:04:27,194 Not to worry. I have a permit. 116 00:04:27,262 --> 00:04:30,027 This just says, "I can do what I want." 117 00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:32,527 I am the director of the Parks Department, 118 00:04:32,594 --> 00:04:34,660 and this is a park. 119 00:04:34,728 --> 00:04:36,161 It's not a Parks thing. 120 00:04:36,228 --> 00:04:38,827 It's against, like, three laws and a dozen health codes. 121 00:04:41,028 --> 00:04:42,527 Fine. 122 00:04:42,594 --> 00:04:44,261 Barbecue is postponed 123 00:04:44,329 --> 00:04:46,694 until I can go pick up some meat from the Food 'n' Stuff. 124 00:04:46,761 --> 00:04:49,094 Let's go, Tom. 125 00:04:49,162 --> 00:04:50,393 No, pig Tom. 126 00:04:53,428 --> 00:04:56,827 So I want to see the history of the girl scouts 127 00:04:56,895 --> 00:04:59,727 and then Lincoln's pocket watch and the First Ladies exhibit 128 00:04:59,795 --> 00:05:02,694 and everything... I want to see everything. 129 00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:04,294 Andy, get down from there. 130 00:05:04,361 --> 00:05:05,593 Hey, Leslie. Is this the train from Back to the Future III? 131 00:05:05,661 --> 00:05:07,827 - Get down from there. - I think it is. 132 00:05:07,895 --> 00:05:08,927 Hey, buddy. 133 00:05:08,995 --> 00:05:11,427 Come on down from there for me, please. 134 00:05:11,494 --> 00:05:12,860 Sir, you protect our nation's history, 135 00:05:12,928 --> 00:05:13,894 and you're a hero. 136 00:05:13,961 --> 00:05:15,660 Yeah, a hero with something to hide, 137 00:05:15,728 --> 00:05:17,328 like probably a treasure map. 138 00:05:17,394 --> 00:05:19,894 Oh, hey. It's so good to see you. 139 00:05:19,961 --> 00:05:21,994 It's so great to see you too. 140 00:05:22,062 --> 00:05:23,393 Yeah. 141 00:05:23,461 --> 00:05:25,760 Yikes. 142 00:05:25,828 --> 00:05:28,328 Okay, uh, guys, let's motor. 143 00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:29,994 Guys. Guys. 144 00:05:30,062 --> 00:05:31,994 Let's go get some astronaut ice cream or something. 145 00:05:32,062 --> 00:05:33,960 We were thinking about maybe just... 146 00:05:34,028 --> 00:05:36,094 uh, we... maybe we were gonna go back to... 147 00:05:36,162 --> 00:05:38,061 We're gonna have sex. 148 00:05:38,128 --> 00:05:39,327 Okay. You look great, April. 149 00:05:39,394 --> 00:05:40,760 Sorry, hon. I actually have to go too. 150 00:05:40,828 --> 00:05:43,027 Oh, really? I thought maybe we could sightsee together. 151 00:05:43,095 --> 00:05:44,727 I know. I have, like, 1,000 meetings. 152 00:05:44,795 --> 00:05:46,627 But I just wanted to come wish you luck 153 00:05:46,695 --> 00:05:47,727 before your presentation. 154 00:05:47,795 --> 00:05:49,294 Oh, but you know what you should see 155 00:05:49,361 --> 00:05:50,694 while you're here is George Washington's fare... 156 00:05:50,761 --> 00:05:52,094 Farewell address candle stand. 157 00:05:52,162 --> 00:05:53,860 That was the first thing I was going to see. 158 00:05:53,928 --> 00:05:56,094 God, I love you so much. 159 00:05:56,162 --> 00:05:58,327 Come to my office as soon as you're done, okay? 160 00:05:58,394 --> 00:05:59,493 Okay. 161 00:05:59,561 --> 00:06:01,560 And it was nice to see you again. 162 00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:02,927 Are you talking to my butt? 163 00:06:02,995 --> 00:06:05,061 - Yes. - Okay. 164 00:06:07,343 --> 00:06:09,261 Where is Swanson? 165 00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:10,860 Man, I'm hungry. My legs are tired. 166 00:06:11,927 --> 00:06:13,927 It feels like I just exercised. 167 00:06:13,995 --> 00:06:15,493 Just sit on the ground. 168 00:06:15,561 --> 00:06:16,894 No, Jerry. 169 00:06:16,961 --> 00:06:18,393 It's dirty, and I'm wearing my summer linens. 170 00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:19,527 God, you're such a baby. 171 00:06:19,594 --> 00:06:20,994 Look, I brought a picnic blanket from your house. 172 00:06:21,062 --> 00:06:23,194 That's not a picnic blanket. 173 00:06:23,262 --> 00:06:25,727 That's a Merino wool throw for my Eames chair! 174 00:06:25,795 --> 00:06:27,393 Uh-oh. Do I sense trouble 175 00:06:27,461 --> 00:06:29,393 in the Haverford-Perkins household? 176 00:06:29,461 --> 00:06:30,694 No such luck, Donna. 177 00:06:30,761 --> 00:06:34,094 Ann and Tom, aka Haverkins, are stronger than ever. 178 00:06:34,162 --> 00:06:36,061 Everyone said it wouldn't last. 179 00:06:36,128 --> 00:06:37,760 And it didn't. 180 00:06:37,828 --> 00:06:40,227 Shocking that our drunken plan to move in together 181 00:06:40,294 --> 00:06:41,593 wasn't a success. 182 00:06:41,661 --> 00:06:43,994 - Let's move in together. - Totally. 183 00:06:44,062 --> 00:06:46,094 No take-backs when we sober up, though, partner. 184 00:06:46,162 --> 00:06:48,860 No take-backs, partner. 185 00:06:48,928 --> 00:06:51,627 After the first day, we realized we had made a huge mistake. 186 00:06:51,695 --> 00:06:52,894 Huge. 187 00:06:52,961 --> 00:06:55,694 However, everyone was being so smug about it, 188 00:06:55,761 --> 00:06:57,127 saying there's no way it would last, 189 00:06:57,195 --> 00:06:59,293 so we're pretending to still be together. 190 00:06:59,361 --> 00:07:01,660 That way, no one gets the satisfaction of being right, 191 00:07:01,728 --> 00:07:03,327 even though they are, but still. 192 00:07:03,394 --> 00:07:05,694 More importantly, I bet Donna $1,000 193 00:07:05,761 --> 00:07:07,260 that we'd be together for another month. 194 00:07:07,328 --> 00:07:09,027 I can't stress this enough. 195 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,327 If she finds out that we broke up, 196 00:07:11,394 --> 00:07:13,360 I'll go bankrupt. 197 00:07:13,428 --> 00:07:16,827 Oh, my God. Food. Food. 198 00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:17,927 Yes, I am returned. 199 00:07:17,995 --> 00:07:19,927 No. Not so fast, Shirley. 200 00:07:19,995 --> 00:07:22,360 I just have to thaw the meat, season it, and grill it up. 201 00:07:22,428 --> 00:07:23,593 So it's going to be a few hours. 202 00:07:23,661 --> 00:07:25,393 No, Ron. 203 00:07:25,461 --> 00:07:28,194 My tummy's rumbling. It's scary. 204 00:07:28,261 --> 00:07:29,593 Tommy's got the tum-rums. 205 00:07:29,661 --> 00:07:31,593 Ron, Chris Traeger feelings update... 206 00:07:31,661 --> 00:07:35,660 I'm now feeling that your guests are getting a little antsy. 207 00:07:35,728 --> 00:07:38,260 Fine. I'll skip a few steps and speed things up. 208 00:07:38,328 --> 00:07:39,393 There you go. 209 00:07:39,461 --> 00:07:40,727 Is there at least something to drink? 210 00:07:40,795 --> 00:07:42,327 There's beer in the cooler. 211 00:07:42,394 --> 00:07:43,694 What about for the children? 212 00:07:43,761 --> 00:07:45,593 You can get water from that water fountain 213 00:07:45,661 --> 00:07:47,027 and use it to water down the beer. 214 00:07:47,095 --> 00:07:48,994 Why don't you just give the kids water? 215 00:07:49,062 --> 00:07:49,994 I suppose you could do that. 216 00:07:50,062 --> 00:07:51,593 Now, would everyone please back off 217 00:07:51,661 --> 00:07:54,061 and just let me cook in peace? 218 00:07:54,128 --> 00:07:55,560 These people are soft. 219 00:07:55,628 --> 00:07:57,161 They're grill virgins. 220 00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:59,527 But by the time this day is over, 221 00:07:59,594 --> 00:08:01,360 they'll have been taken by the grill 222 00:08:01,428 --> 00:08:04,027 and delicately and tenderly shown the ways 223 00:08:04,095 --> 00:08:06,593 of flavorful meat love. 224 00:08:06,661 --> 00:08:08,260 Mmm... 225 00:08:08,328 --> 00:08:10,694 The first time is so beautiful. 226 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,327 Ben and I are a power couple, 227 00:08:13,394 --> 00:08:15,260 like the Roosevelts or the Clintons. 228 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,827 I've got a big meeting here. 229 00:08:16,895 --> 00:08:19,360 Ben is off running a congressional campaign. 230 00:08:19,428 --> 00:08:21,660 I mean, the only way we could be more awesome 231 00:08:21,728 --> 00:08:23,994 is if we had our own signature dance move. 232 00:08:24,062 --> 00:08:25,160 Oh, wait. We do. 233 00:08:25,227 --> 00:08:28,427 Three, four. 234 00:08:31,795 --> 00:08:35,027 I'm Leslie Knope. I have a 3:00 with Mr. Jepson. 235 00:08:35,095 --> 00:08:36,260 What's this in reference to? 236 00:08:36,328 --> 00:08:37,960 I'm here to present my application 237 00:08:38,028 --> 00:08:39,860 for the Federal Riverbed Preservation Grant. 238 00:08:39,928 --> 00:08:42,160 Oh. Most people just mail their applications in. 239 00:08:42,227 --> 00:08:44,094 I'm not most people. 240 00:08:44,161 --> 00:08:46,193 Mr. Jepson actually had to step out for the day. 241 00:08:46,261 --> 00:08:50,860 You can just add your proposal to that pile there. 242 00:08:50,928 --> 00:08:52,127 Oh, uh, I'm sorry. 243 00:08:52,194 --> 00:08:54,493 I was told I would have a face-to-face meeting with him 244 00:08:54,561 --> 00:08:56,894 so I could make my case for my town. 245 00:08:56,961 --> 00:08:58,193 Does he have office hours? 246 00:08:58,261 --> 00:08:59,527 He's unavailable for the rest of the week. 247 00:08:59,594 --> 00:09:01,160 But you can just add the proposal. 248 00:09:01,227 --> 00:09:04,193 - He'll get to it. - Oh... 249 00:09:04,261 --> 00:09:06,027 Okay. 250 00:09:08,961 --> 00:09:10,927 It's kind of a special application. 251 00:09:10,995 --> 00:09:13,960 Uh, you know, there's a-a CD inside 252 00:09:14,028 --> 00:09:17,360 that, uh, plays the sound of a babbling river, 253 00:09:17,428 --> 00:09:20,593 and I was going to play that while I gave my presentation. 254 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,660 I was also going to show a DVD 255 00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:25,427 that had some images of frolicking river otters. 256 00:09:25,494 --> 00:09:27,427 You know what? I-I'll make sure he reads it. 257 00:09:27,494 --> 00:09:29,027 What city is it for? 258 00:09:29,094 --> 00:09:30,493 Pawnee. 259 00:09:30,561 --> 00:09:33,193 Is that Pawnee, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, 260 00:09:33,261 --> 00:09:35,093 Kansas, Missouri, Nebraska, Oklahoma, 261 00:09:35,161 --> 00:09:36,827 or Texas? 262 00:09:36,895 --> 00:09:38,794 - Indiana. - Okay. 263 00:09:41,267 --> 00:09:42,699 This is amazing. 264 00:09:42,766 --> 00:09:43,698 Look at this. 265 00:09:43,766 --> 00:09:45,765 This whole place is your office. 266 00:09:45,833 --> 00:09:47,765 Nope. This is my office. 267 00:09:47,833 --> 00:09:49,465 Ben, you're fired. It's my office now. 268 00:09:49,532 --> 00:09:50,932 Boom. You heard the boss. 269 00:09:50,999 --> 00:09:52,032 Scram, Wyatt. 270 00:09:52,099 --> 00:09:54,131 - Hey. - Hey. How'd it go? 271 00:09:54,199 --> 00:09:55,798 Um, I think okay. 272 00:09:55,866 --> 00:09:57,398 - Yeah? - Okay, I think. 273 00:09:57,466 --> 00:09:59,398 Well, I have a surprise for you. 274 00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:03,431 Uh, there's a swanky D.C. Cocktail party at the Hay-Adams, 275 00:10:03,499 --> 00:10:05,765 and I got us all on the list. 276 00:10:05,833 --> 00:10:09,131 Wow, look at you. You're a big shot. 277 00:10:09,199 --> 00:10:11,098 Hey, uh, Benjamin, how fancy is this party tonight? 278 00:10:11,165 --> 00:10:14,965 I mean, is this, like, a shorts or a pants kind of gala? 279 00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,231 - Pants. - Great. 280 00:10:17,299 --> 00:10:18,865 Could we just real quick stop at the nearest place 281 00:10:18,933 --> 00:10:20,064 that has free pants? 282 00:10:23,466 --> 00:10:25,431 I know that Ron doesn't want us to eat anything 283 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,231 before the meat, but I smuggled in some candy. 284 00:10:27,299 --> 00:10:28,598 Oh, thank God. I'm starving. 285 00:10:29,665 --> 00:10:30,531 Raisins? 286 00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:32,064 It's nature's candy. 287 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,598 Now, they're basically grapes. 288 00:10:33,666 --> 00:10:35,898 So remember to pace yourself. 289 00:10:37,599 --> 00:10:39,398 I can't even follow my own advice. 290 00:10:39,466 --> 00:10:41,398 It's too delicious. 291 00:10:42,799 --> 00:10:43,965 Oh, my God. 292 00:10:44,032 --> 00:10:45,565 Did you put glitter in the laundry detergent? 293 00:10:45,632 --> 00:10:47,064 Oh, yeah. 294 00:10:47,132 --> 00:10:48,798 I'm experimenting with some new entrepreneurial ideas. 295 00:10:48,866 --> 00:10:50,798 That one's called "Sparkle Suds." 296 00:10:50,866 --> 00:10:51,965 Dress loud. 297 00:10:52,032 --> 00:10:53,865 Will you stop putting glitter in everything? 298 00:10:53,933 --> 00:10:55,264 This morning you put glitter in the butter. 299 00:10:55,332 --> 00:10:57,164 "Disco Dairy." Spread the party. 300 00:10:57,232 --> 00:10:59,631 No, that's not a good idea. That's terrible. 301 00:10:59,699 --> 00:11:02,398 Well, the target demographic isn't angry, middle-aged nurses. 302 00:11:02,466 --> 00:11:04,164 - Oh... shh, stop it... hey. - Wait... 303 00:11:04,232 --> 00:11:05,264 Hey. 304 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,665 I'm going to get in line for some food. 305 00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:07,832 Y'all want anything? 306 00:11:07,899 --> 00:11:09,531 - We're good. We're really good. - Nope. 307 00:11:09,599 --> 00:11:10,965 Just spending a little time with my baby girl. 308 00:11:11,532 --> 00:11:12,565 Ew. 309 00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:14,498 Get off me. 310 00:11:16,532 --> 00:11:18,698 There's so much free food at this party, honey. 311 00:11:18,766 --> 00:11:22,398 I love politics. Look, I made a shrimp claw. 312 00:11:22,466 --> 00:11:23,665 I'm really proud of you, babe. 313 00:11:23,733 --> 00:11:25,264 Now put your used plate in my purse. 314 00:11:25,332 --> 00:11:26,798 I almost have a complete set. 315 00:11:26,866 --> 00:11:28,932 Really? Oh, my God. You're so smart. 316 00:11:28,998 --> 00:11:31,298 They say it will pass, but we'll only get $400 million 317 00:11:31,365 --> 00:11:32,698 instead of $900 million. 318 00:11:32,766 --> 00:11:37,198 Kate works at the Pentagon and Lacey works for Eric Cantor. 319 00:11:37,265 --> 00:11:38,565 What do you do, Leslie? 320 00:11:38,632 --> 00:11:40,832 I was just recently elected. I'm a councilwoman. 321 00:11:40,899 --> 00:11:42,932 Local government is so important. 322 00:11:42,998 --> 00:11:44,832 My grandma's on the city council in her town. 323 00:11:44,899 --> 00:11:46,465 Gives her a reason to leave the house. 324 00:11:46,532 --> 00:11:47,832 Oh. 325 00:11:47,899 --> 00:11:49,565 Where did you say you were from? 326 00:11:49,632 --> 00:11:51,098 It's called Pawnee. 327 00:11:51,165 --> 00:11:52,231 Pawnee, Missouri? 328 00:11:52,299 --> 00:11:54,598 Oh, my... that is so random. 329 00:11:54,666 --> 00:11:56,932 I've been there... totally cute. 330 00:11:56,998 --> 00:11:58,031 Pawnee, Indiana. 331 00:11:58,099 --> 00:12:00,565 Pawnee, Missouri, is a total craphole. 332 00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:03,698 Ben and I both did some amazing things today. 333 00:12:03,766 --> 00:12:05,765 He scored a victory for the congressional campaign 334 00:12:05,833 --> 00:12:06,932 he's working on. 335 00:12:06,998 --> 00:12:10,131 And I was mistaken for Beverly D'Angelo 336 00:12:10,199 --> 00:12:11,832 by a Japanese tourist. 337 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:16,531 So, pretty big day for both of us. 338 00:12:16,599 --> 00:12:19,732 Ron, can I have a burger? I'm hungry. 339 00:12:19,799 --> 00:12:21,465 For the last time, no burgers yet. 340 00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:23,465 I've got ribs, and I've got beef cheek. 341 00:12:23,532 --> 00:12:26,264 Ron, where are my vegan soy patties? 342 00:12:26,332 --> 00:12:28,031 Oh, I gave them to the kids. They love them. 343 00:12:28,099 --> 00:12:30,264 They're skipping them across the pond. 344 00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:31,598 Donna, I got to go to the boys' room. 345 00:12:31,666 --> 00:12:33,598 - Can I have a ride in your car? - Absolutely not. 346 00:12:33,666 --> 00:12:36,732 This barbecue stinks. I'm saying it. It stinks. 347 00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:37,997 Do you have any plates or anything? 348 00:12:38,065 --> 00:12:39,465 I mean, how are we supposed to eat these rumps? 349 00:12:39,532 --> 00:12:40,964 Ron, if no one takes me to the bathroom, 350 00:12:41,032 --> 00:12:43,131 I'm just going to have to go in the trees. 351 00:12:43,199 --> 00:12:45,264 All right. Forget it. 352 00:12:46,331 --> 00:12:47,964 You have ruined a perfectly good barbecue 353 00:12:48,032 --> 00:12:51,798 with your demands and chatter. 354 00:12:51,866 --> 00:12:53,698 Enjoy the rest of your evening. 355 00:13:05,332 --> 00:13:07,598 Does anybody feel like they can't breathe? 356 00:13:07,666 --> 00:13:09,931 - I think I need some fresh air. - We're outside. 357 00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,231 God, these women... 358 00:13:11,299 --> 00:13:13,931 they're so smart and accomplished and pretty. 359 00:13:14,498 --> 00:13:15,698 And they're tall. 360 00:13:15,864 --> 00:13:17,098 Why are they all so tall? 361 00:13:17,165 --> 00:13:19,331 It's like C-Span and Neiman Marcus had kids 362 00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:20,298 or something. 363 00:13:20,365 --> 00:13:22,364 Hey, so there's a couple more people I want you to meet. 364 00:13:22,432 --> 00:13:24,931 Great. I can't wait to meet, like, five more tall women. 365 00:13:24,998 --> 00:13:27,064 Excuse me, Senators? 366 00:13:27,132 --> 00:13:28,864 Ben Wyatt, from Congressman Murray's campaign. 367 00:13:28,932 --> 00:13:30,732 Ben, I remember you from the Kennedy Center. 368 00:13:30,799 --> 00:13:31,864 - That's right. - Yeah. 369 00:13:31,932 --> 00:13:33,732 I wanted to introduce my friend Leslie Knope... 370 00:13:33,799 --> 00:13:36,431 Senators Barbara Boxer and Olympia Snow. 371 00:13:36,499 --> 00:13:38,364 - A pleasure to meet you. - How do you do? 372 00:13:38,432 --> 00:13:39,631 So, Leslie, what do you do? 373 00:13:39,699 --> 00:13:42,531 I am a city councilwoman from Pawnee, Indiana. 374 00:13:42,599 --> 00:13:44,098 But you've probably never heard of us. 375 00:13:44,165 --> 00:13:45,364 We're small and unimportant. 376 00:13:45,432 --> 00:13:47,897 - I'm sure that's not true. - But it is. 377 00:13:47,965 --> 00:13:49,631 We've got tons of problems. 378 00:13:49,699 --> 00:13:52,665 We're overrun with raccoons and obese toddlers. 379 00:13:52,733 --> 00:13:53,931 Anyway, I'm probably boring you. 380 00:13:53,998 --> 00:13:57,331 I just wanted to say that you are my role models, 381 00:13:57,399 --> 00:14:00,565 and, uh, you are incredibly amazing women, 382 00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:01,831 and it is an honor to meet you, 383 00:14:01,898 --> 00:14:03,964 and I really respect your grace under pressure, 384 00:14:04,032 --> 00:14:06,732 And thank you for your time. 385 00:14:09,331 --> 00:14:11,098 Excuse me, Senators. 386 00:14:14,365 --> 00:14:16,298 Uh, Leslie? 387 00:14:16,365 --> 00:14:17,298 Hello? 388 00:14:17,864 --> 00:14:19,964 - What's going on? - Nothing. 389 00:14:20,032 --> 00:14:21,231 I'm just tired, okay? 390 00:14:21,299 --> 00:14:23,531 I saw 24 historical sights in a day, 391 00:14:23,599 --> 00:14:26,331 and it's 120 degrees out with 200% humidity, 392 00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:27,864 'cause this is a stupid swamp town. 393 00:14:27,932 --> 00:14:29,732 Okay, that would make anyone cranky. 394 00:14:29,798 --> 00:14:31,398 - I'm not cranky. - Okay. 395 00:14:31,466 --> 00:14:34,398 I thought you'd enjoy meeting numbers 4 and 26 396 00:14:34,466 --> 00:14:36,198 on Leslie's list of amazing women. 397 00:14:36,265 --> 00:14:38,531 I do. I did. 398 00:14:38,599 --> 00:14:40,465 You're the most amazing boyfriend ever. 399 00:14:40,532 --> 00:14:42,131 And if you don't get out of here soon, 400 00:14:42,199 --> 00:14:43,897 I'm going to punch you in the face. 401 00:14:43,965 --> 00:14:47,598 Journal needs a quote for the profile. 402 00:14:48,165 --> 00:14:49,864 It's fine. Just go. 403 00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:53,732 I'll see you at your apartment later. 404 00:14:53,798 --> 00:14:55,831 This is Ben Wyatt. 405 00:14:58,466 --> 00:15:00,931 Excuse me. I just need to get my coat here. 406 00:15:00,998 --> 00:15:03,398 Could you give me a minute here, please? 407 00:15:03,466 --> 00:15:04,797 Are you... are you okay? 408 00:15:04,865 --> 00:15:05,997 Can I get you anything? 409 00:15:06,065 --> 00:15:07,364 I-I would like you to just leave 410 00:15:07,432 --> 00:15:09,031 and give me a little privacy here, please. 411 00:15:09,099 --> 00:15:10,231 All right. 412 00:15:10,299 --> 00:15:13,331 I'm sorry. I hope everything's okay. 413 00:15:14,666 --> 00:15:17,665 Nosy people have no respect for personal space. 414 00:15:21,806 --> 00:15:23,773 Ann... what the hell? 415 00:15:25,103 --> 00:15:27,769 I put glitter in all your moisturizers and lotions. 416 00:15:27,837 --> 00:15:30,203 I'm calling it "Sparkle Skin", by Annie. 417 00:15:30,271 --> 00:15:32,570 Twinkle, twinkle, big star. 418 00:15:32,638 --> 00:15:34,270 Ann! That is an amazing idea, 419 00:15:34,337 --> 00:15:36,203 and I will buy it from you, but never do that again. 420 00:15:36,271 --> 00:15:37,969 That was really expensive moisturizer. 421 00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:40,069 Yeah, well, you ruined all of my clothes. 422 00:15:40,137 --> 00:15:42,537 Well, then, I did you a huge favor, 'cause they stink. 423 00:15:42,604 --> 00:15:44,537 - Are you serious? - Yes. 424 00:15:44,604 --> 00:15:46,570 Oh, hello, lovers. 425 00:15:46,638 --> 00:15:48,203 - Oh. - Tom! 426 00:15:48,271 --> 00:15:50,703 You're amazing! Kiss me more! 427 00:15:50,770 --> 00:15:52,103 - Uh-huh. - All right. Enough of this. 428 00:15:52,171 --> 00:15:54,437 Y'all broke up a long time ago, didn't you? 429 00:15:54,504 --> 00:15:56,470 No. We're stronger than ever, so... 430 00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:57,803 It's all right. 431 00:15:57,870 --> 00:15:59,136 I'ma let y'all have this one. 432 00:15:59,204 --> 00:16:00,702 As someone who has lied a lot 433 00:16:00,770 --> 00:16:03,969 about various aspects of a myriad of relationships, 434 00:16:04,037 --> 00:16:05,969 I respect the effort you've gone to. 435 00:16:06,037 --> 00:16:07,403 Let's call off the bet. 436 00:16:07,471 --> 00:16:08,903 Thanks, Donna. 437 00:16:08,970 --> 00:16:10,203 No problem. 438 00:16:10,271 --> 00:16:12,769 - I guess that's it. - Yep. 439 00:16:12,837 --> 00:16:14,537 The end of a relationship. 440 00:16:14,604 --> 00:16:17,170 And the beginning of a partnership. 441 00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:18,303 Let's talk "Sparkle Skin." 442 00:16:18,371 --> 00:16:19,437 Do we know anyone 443 00:16:19,504 --> 00:16:21,103 in product development over at Sephora? 444 00:16:21,171 --> 00:16:22,736 Good-bye, Tom. 445 00:16:22,804 --> 00:16:24,170 Here's a picture of me and April 446 00:16:24,237 --> 00:16:25,537 making out in her apartment. 447 00:16:25,604 --> 00:16:26,803 - Oh. - Here's a picture of us 448 00:16:26,870 --> 00:16:29,470 making out in Ben's office. 449 00:16:29,538 --> 00:16:31,903 This is a picture... oh, this is us making out... 450 00:16:31,970 --> 00:16:33,136 I don't know where that is, 451 00:16:33,204 --> 00:16:34,637 but you can tell that she's sucking on my lip. 452 00:16:36,138 --> 00:16:37,436 Traveling. 453 00:16:38,003 --> 00:16:39,136 Making out... are you okay, boss? 454 00:16:39,204 --> 00:16:40,936 No. Not really. 455 00:16:41,004 --> 00:16:42,803 I know I should be focusing on this river cleanup, 456 00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:45,437 but all I keep thinking about is Ben laughing in a helicopter 457 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:46,869 with Hot Rebecca. 458 00:16:46,937 --> 00:16:48,769 Who's Hot Rebecca? 459 00:16:48,837 --> 00:16:51,570 She's just this jealousy amalgam I created. 460 00:16:53,271 --> 00:16:55,370 I combined all of the giant, dark-haired, 461 00:16:55,438 --> 00:16:57,936 smartphone power goddesses into one woman 462 00:16:58,004 --> 00:16:59,437 called Hot Rebecca. 463 00:16:59,504 --> 00:17:01,637 - Ah. - I mean, Ben's life is filled 464 00:17:01,703 --> 00:17:03,603 with senators and briefings and Super PACs. 465 00:17:03,670 --> 00:17:06,470 I can't even get a meeting with some bureaucrat. 466 00:17:06,538 --> 00:17:09,069 I don't even know what a bureaucrat is. 467 00:17:09,137 --> 00:17:12,303 Everything's going to be fine with you and Ben, 468 00:17:12,371 --> 00:17:16,437 because if I know Ben, he, too, is an amalgam. 469 00:17:16,504 --> 00:17:17,803 - No. - Yeah. 470 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:21,136 Point is, you're better than Hot Rebecca. 471 00:17:21,204 --> 00:17:22,303 You're kickass Leslie. 472 00:17:22,371 --> 00:17:26,103 Long-distance relationships are never easy, 473 00:17:26,171 --> 00:17:28,036 but you never, ever give up on stuff. 474 00:17:28,104 --> 00:17:29,969 Thanks. 475 00:17:30,037 --> 00:17:32,136 - That's what makes you... - Nope. 476 00:17:32,204 --> 00:17:34,769 An amalgam. Nailed it. 477 00:17:36,037 --> 00:17:38,803 Ron, a word? 478 00:17:38,870 --> 00:17:41,236 Are you aware of what's going on out in your department? 479 00:17:41,304 --> 00:17:42,236 I am. 480 00:17:42,304 --> 00:17:43,470 My department is pouting 481 00:17:43,538 --> 00:17:45,403 because I didn't put on a puppet show 482 00:17:45,471 --> 00:17:48,236 based on the funniest email chain of the year. 483 00:17:48,304 --> 00:17:49,503 I would have liked to have seen that show. 484 00:17:49,571 --> 00:17:50,903 My nomination was 485 00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:54,403 Jerry accidentally forwards his bank statement to everyone. 486 00:17:54,471 --> 00:17:56,570 Classic... 487 00:17:56,637 --> 00:17:57,936 And depressing. 488 00:17:58,004 --> 00:17:59,836 The point of a barbecue is not to do 489 00:17:59,904 --> 00:18:03,537 hokey, office joke theater. The point is... 490 00:18:03,603 --> 00:18:06,437 The point of the barbecue was to thank the department. 491 00:18:06,504 --> 00:18:09,036 It was an employee-appreciation barbecue. 492 00:18:09,603 --> 00:18:11,669 Ron, I gave you the chance 493 00:18:11,737 --> 00:18:14,003 to become assistant city manager. 494 00:18:14,070 --> 00:18:16,869 And you chose to stay here, which is fine. 495 00:18:16,937 --> 00:18:19,170 But if you're going to lead the department, 496 00:18:19,237 --> 00:18:21,736 you occasionally have to lead the department. 497 00:18:21,804 --> 00:18:25,437 And I say that as one of your closest colleagues 498 00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:27,969 and dearest friends... 499 00:18:28,037 --> 00:18:29,602 But also as your boss. 500 00:18:32,337 --> 00:18:35,170 I went to our nation's capital this weekend 501 00:18:35,237 --> 00:18:37,036 in order to apply for a federal grant 502 00:18:37,104 --> 00:18:39,203 to clean up our city's river. 503 00:18:39,271 --> 00:18:42,103 But things move pretty slow in Washington, 504 00:18:42,171 --> 00:18:43,470 and I'm not going to wait around. 505 00:18:43,537 --> 00:18:45,969 Now, I was recently reminded by someone 506 00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:50,437 that I'm not the type of person to shy away from hard work. 507 00:18:51,371 --> 00:18:52,437 What? Did I... 508 00:18:53,003 --> 00:18:54,203 Do you need something from me right now? 509 00:18:54,271 --> 00:18:55,602 No, no, no. Never mind. 510 00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:59,470 Point is, I'm going to clean up this river by myself. 511 00:18:59,537 --> 00:19:01,702 Every Saturday from 8:00 a.m. To 10:00 a.m., 512 00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:02,702 I will be here. 513 00:19:02,770 --> 00:19:04,636 Those are my office hours. 514 00:19:04,703 --> 00:19:06,270 If you want to come and talk to me 515 00:19:06,337 --> 00:19:08,370 or ask me questions or raise an issue, 516 00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:09,803 this is where I'll be. 517 00:19:09,870 --> 00:19:11,136 Let's get to work, Pawnee. 518 00:19:12,702 --> 00:19:13,769 Oh, my God. 519 00:19:13,837 --> 00:19:15,569 The smell is so much worse when you get up close. 520 00:19:15,637 --> 00:19:18,069 Yeah. Oh, look, a handgun. 521 00:19:18,137 --> 00:19:19,069 I call it. 522 00:19:19,137 --> 00:19:20,969 - Holy... - Whoa! 523 00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:24,403 Everyone, get in here now! 524 00:19:26,837 --> 00:19:29,270 Your work is appreciated. 525 00:19:29,337 --> 00:19:30,303 Eat some corn. 526 00:19:30,371 --> 00:19:32,303 - Wow. Thank you, Ron. - Thanks, boss. 527 00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:33,936 - Thanks, Ron. - Thanks, Ron. 528 00:19:34,004 --> 00:19:35,569 Also, here's Tom. 529 00:19:35,637 --> 00:19:37,103 Aah! 530 00:19:38,537 --> 00:19:40,803 It actually smells really delicious. 531 00:19:40,870 --> 00:19:42,069 It really does. 532 00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:43,803 Give me some of Tommy's ribs. 533 00:19:43,870 --> 00:19:46,103 - Oh, heck, yeah. - Sorry, Tom. 534 00:19:46,171 --> 00:19:47,636 Oh, my God. That's good. 535 00:19:47,703 --> 00:19:49,769 I mean, if I'd known it didn't go well 536 00:19:49,837 --> 00:19:51,469 with the guy from Interior, I... 537 00:19:51,537 --> 00:19:53,303 No, no, no. You did nothing wrong. 538 00:19:53,371 --> 00:19:54,769 I'm so happy for you 539 00:19:54,837 --> 00:19:57,803 and how much everyone loves you and how great you're doing. 540 00:19:57,870 --> 00:19:59,403 I just freaked out. I'm sorry. 541 00:19:59,970 --> 00:20:01,303 Long distance sucks. 542 00:20:01,371 --> 00:20:04,903 It does. But we can do this, right? 543 00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:06,702 Yeah, definitely. 544 00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:08,203 Can you come visit next month? 545 00:20:08,271 --> 00:20:10,069 We can take a proper tour of the sights. 546 00:20:10,636 --> 00:20:12,969 There's only one sight I want to see right now. 547 00:20:13,037 --> 00:20:15,069 All right, I mean, this is getting weird, 548 00:20:15,137 --> 00:20:17,270 but, uh, there it is. 549 00:20:17,337 --> 00:20:19,203 I meant the Jefferson Memorial, 550 00:20:19,271 --> 00:20:20,203 you perv. 551 00:20:20,271 --> 00:20:21,303 Right. Sorry. 552 00:20:21,371 --> 00:20:23,203 Sorry, I-I don't, uh... 553 00:20:23,271 --> 00:20:25,569 I'm... I'm just... 554 00:20:25,637 --> 00:20:26,569 Wait. No, you didn't. 555 00:20:26,637 --> 00:20:28,636 No, I didn't. 556 00:20:28,935 --> 00:20:31,034 - Spin it around and back it on up. - All right. 557 00:20:32,721 --> 00:20:35,718 The White House... America's most whitest house... 558 00:20:36,186 --> 00:20:38,352 most notably is where Sinbad lived 559 00:20:38,420 --> 00:20:39,552 in the film First Kid. 560 00:20:39,619 --> 00:20:41,019 Sinbad, wow. 561 00:20:41,086 --> 00:20:43,652 The other tour guide never said anything about that. 562 00:20:43,719 --> 00:20:46,518 Do you know why it's called the Oval Office? 563 00:20:46,586 --> 00:20:48,085 No. 564 00:20:48,153 --> 00:20:50,085 Because of a man... Oval Redenbacher... 565 00:20:50,153 --> 00:20:51,585 - What? - Popcorn inventor. 566 00:20:51,653 --> 00:20:53,585 He used to hang out with John F. Kennedy. 567 00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:55,451 Excuse me. Attention, everyone. 568 00:20:55,519 --> 00:20:56,785 This tour guide 569 00:20:56,853 --> 00:20:58,885 is the most amazing tour guide there ever was. 570 00:20:58,953 --> 00:21:01,286 Please, step up. 571 00:21:01,353 --> 00:21:03,551 $200 cash up front. 572 00:21:04,053 --> 00:21:08,648 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com