1 00:00:01,343 --> 00:00:02,377 - Hey. - Hey. 2 00:00:02,617 --> 00:00:03,983 Am I interrupting something important? 3 00:00:03,985 --> 00:00:07,033 Impossible. I work for the government. 4 00:00:07,035 --> 00:00:08,699 I just picked up the girls, thought we'd stop by. 5 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:11,515 How are the girls... 6 00:00:11,517 --> 00:00:12,616 Yes, they are. 7 00:00:12,618 --> 00:00:14,115 Hello, girls. 8 00:00:14,117 --> 00:00:16,816 Diane and I have been seeing a lot of each other, recently. 9 00:00:16,818 --> 00:00:19,682 She is a sharp, confident, strong woman. 10 00:00:19,915 --> 00:00:21,480 Her children are loud. 11 00:00:23,511 --> 00:00:25,476 Kung fu! 12 00:00:25,477 --> 00:00:26,943 Here comes trouble! 13 00:00:31,144 --> 00:00:32,609 This is fun. 14 00:00:32,611 --> 00:00:33,692 Easy, girls. 15 00:00:33,694 --> 00:00:35,026 We'll be careful, Miss Lewis. 16 00:00:35,028 --> 00:00:36,359 Ow! 17 00:00:36,361 --> 00:00:37,492 I'm sorry. 18 00:00:37,494 --> 00:00:38,776 I've got it. 19 00:00:38,778 --> 00:00:40,075 We just wanted to invite you 20 00:00:40,077 --> 00:00:41,526 to come trick or treating tonight. 21 00:00:41,528 --> 00:00:42,943 I think I'm a little old. 22 00:00:42,945 --> 00:00:44,159 Can we go, Ron, please? 23 00:00:44,161 --> 00:00:46,526 - Please? - You can come, sure. 24 00:00:46,528 --> 00:00:48,492 We have to go by 7:00 or else the good candy will be gone. 25 00:00:48,494 --> 00:00:49,826 Sounds perfect. 26 00:00:50,828 --> 00:00:52,475 Come on, girls. 27 00:00:53,477 --> 00:00:54,859 Bye, guys! 28 00:00:54,861 --> 00:00:56,159 See you later, Ron! 29 00:00:56,161 --> 00:00:59,576 See you tonight! 30 00:00:59,578 --> 00:01:01,142 What the hell just happened? 31 00:01:02,144 --> 00:01:07,739 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com 32 00:01:22,226 --> 00:01:26,409 So, three bedrooms, two baths, nice big backyard. 33 00:01:26,411 --> 00:01:28,442 But no trampoline room, correct? 34 00:01:28,444 --> 00:01:29,693 Correct. 35 00:01:29,695 --> 00:01:31,242 Like all houses in the world, 36 00:01:31,244 --> 00:01:34,109 - there's no trampoline room. - Mm. 37 00:01:34,111 --> 00:01:36,776 Ben is coming back from D.C. in ten days 38 00:01:36,778 --> 00:01:38,743 and he we are moving into a house together. 39 00:01:38,745 --> 00:01:40,109 He would move into my place, 40 00:01:40,111 --> 00:01:42,576 but it's a scary nightmare hoarder nest. 41 00:01:42,578 --> 00:01:44,559 His words. And Ann's. 42 00:01:44,561 --> 00:01:47,225 And the official report filed by the Health Department. 43 00:01:47,227 --> 00:01:50,359 I'm just so happy that Ben and I are starting our life together 44 00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:54,359 and my future's finally back on track. 45 00:01:54,361 --> 00:01:55,910 Martha, I wanna lease this house. 46 00:01:55,912 --> 00:01:58,392 Great. 47 00:01:58,394 --> 00:01:59,826 Thought it was gonna be more dramatic than that. 48 00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:00,860 Hold on. 49 00:02:00,862 --> 00:02:02,910 Okay, say it again. 50 00:02:02,912 --> 00:02:05,693 Martha, I wanna lease this house. 51 00:02:09,394 --> 00:02:12,409 Whoo! 52 00:02:15,943 --> 00:02:16,609 Parks Department! 53 00:02:16,611 --> 00:02:18,910 Chris Traeger, city manager, friend, 54 00:02:18,912 --> 00:02:21,559 aspiring life coach and recipient 55 00:02:21,561 --> 00:02:24,943 of Dr. Richard Nygard's award for Most Improved Patient 56 00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:26,526 for my psychotherapy sessions. 57 00:02:26,528 --> 00:02:28,276 Wow, that's great, Chris. Congrats. 58 00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:29,276 Thanks, Jerry. 59 00:02:29,278 --> 00:02:31,192 It's just a piece of paper 60 00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:34,409 and he only made it for me after I specifically asked for it 61 00:02:34,411 --> 00:02:37,409 while crying loudly, but... 62 00:02:37,411 --> 00:02:39,860 It sure meant a lot to receive it. 63 00:02:39,862 --> 00:02:42,025 In honor of Halloween, the city manager's office 64 00:02:42,027 --> 00:02:44,526 will be throwing a scary movie night in the courtyard. 65 00:02:44,528 --> 00:02:48,192 Tonight's film is the 1986 horror camp classic, 66 00:02:48,194 --> 00:02:51,276 — Murder At Blood Lake. 67 00:02:51,278 --> 00:02:53,559 Seriously? That's the best one! 68 00:02:53,561 --> 00:02:56,776 I hope no one minds if I live tweet this bitch. 69 00:02:56,778 --> 00:02:58,225 I am coming dressed as my greatest fear, 70 00:02:58,227 --> 00:03:01,326 because Dr. Richard Nygard feels that I should face my fears 71 00:03:01,328 --> 00:03:02,609 instead of running from them. 72 00:03:02,611 --> 00:03:04,910 He's very wise. I see him five times a week. 73 00:03:04,912 --> 00:03:07,942 He holds my life in his hand like a fragile little bird. 74 00:03:09,942 --> 00:03:10,743 See you tonight! 75 00:03:11,494 --> 00:03:14,409 Well, Congressman Murray has an 18 point lead. 76 00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:18,225 Calloway is out of money and has stopped campaigning. 77 00:03:18,227 --> 00:03:19,276 So, congratulations! 78 00:03:21,578 --> 00:03:23,743 - Great work, all of you! - Yeah. 79 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:26,493 - But especially me! - Especially everyone. 80 00:03:26,495 --> 00:03:27,892 This was a team effort, really. 81 00:03:27,894 --> 00:03:29,693 But I was the best. Thank you. 82 00:03:29,695 --> 00:03:31,109 You were all fantastic. 83 00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:32,909 Most of all me, April Ludgate, the real hero. 84 00:03:32,911 --> 00:03:34,409 Thank you and you're welcome. 85 00:03:34,411 --> 00:03:35,826 Actually, April, if you want, 86 00:03:35,828 --> 00:03:37,225 you can head back to Pawnee early. 87 00:03:37,227 --> 00:03:38,909 - Wrap a few things up and... - Great. 88 00:03:38,911 --> 00:03:40,075 Whoo! 89 00:03:40,077 --> 00:03:41,276 That's an exit. 90 00:03:41,278 --> 00:03:42,726 Gone, but never forgotten. 91 00:03:42,728 --> 00:03:45,192 Who was that? I'm just kidding. 92 00:03:45,194 --> 00:03:46,493 Not bad, right? 93 00:03:46,495 --> 00:03:47,992 You know, I have to say, Murray really came through... 94 00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:49,576 Yeah, yeah, this one's over. We won. Great job. 95 00:03:49,578 --> 00:03:51,909 Blah blah blah. 96 00:03:51,911 --> 00:03:53,225 Let's talk about what you're gonna do next. 97 00:03:53,727 --> 00:03:55,892 Oh, well, I was gonna get a chicken parm 98 00:03:55,894 --> 00:03:57,909 - and watch Bladerunner. - Mm. 99 00:03:57,911 --> 00:04:01,225 Oh, are you talking about, like, job-wise? 100 00:04:01,227 --> 00:04:05,276 Yes, Ben, I am talking about, like, job-wise. 101 00:04:06,944 --> 00:04:08,909 So you're a princess too, hey? 102 00:04:08,911 --> 00:04:12,058 Oh, for the last four years everything has been princesses. 103 00:04:12,060 --> 00:04:15,526 Every book, every movie, every backpack. 104 00:04:15,528 --> 00:04:16,743 All princesses all the time. 105 00:04:16,745 --> 00:04:19,693 - Oh, that sounds fun. - It's a nightmare. 106 00:04:19,695 --> 00:04:22,242 Excuse me, I just have to file a quick report. 107 00:04:22,244 --> 00:04:24,025 I'm applying to the police academy soon 108 00:04:24,027 --> 00:04:27,442 and the manual says I have to work on my observation skills 109 00:04:27,444 --> 00:04:34,726 so... Tree, leaves, night, sky, hand. Andy's hand. 110 00:04:34,728 --> 00:04:37,025 Pfft. What else you got? 111 00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:39,909 Oh, no. Vice principal emergency. 112 00:04:39,911 --> 00:04:42,025 - What is it? - I have to leave. 113 00:04:42,027 --> 00:04:46,025 Some idiot kids were caught pooping on the soccer field? 114 00:04:46,027 --> 00:04:47,242 Oh, too bad. 115 00:04:47,244 --> 00:04:48,409 Guess trick or treating's over. 116 00:04:48,411 --> 00:04:50,693 - No, Mommy, no! - I'm sorry. 117 00:04:50,695 --> 00:04:52,326 No, we can walk 'em around, it's no problem. 118 00:04:52,328 --> 00:04:53,392 I mean, we just got started. 119 00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:56,276 Oh, that's so sweet of you. 120 00:04:56,278 --> 00:04:58,359 Now, ladies, Princess Mommy 121 00:04:58,361 --> 00:05:00,025 has to go take care of some bad guys, 122 00:05:00,027 --> 00:05:04,609 so you be nice to Ron and Andy, okay? 123 00:05:04,611 --> 00:05:07,359 Okay, let's go to the next house. 124 00:05:07,361 --> 00:05:10,109 I need to go to the bathroom. 125 00:05:10,111 --> 00:05:14,359 I-I have no idea what to do about that. 126 00:05:14,361 --> 00:05:16,059 Uh-oh. 127 00:05:16,061 --> 00:05:17,776 It's the death canoe. 128 00:05:17,778 --> 00:05:19,726 Get your foot out the water, dumb-ass! 129 00:05:19,728 --> 00:05:21,409 It's blood lake. 130 00:05:21,411 --> 00:05:23,743 Now, I missed the first three Death Canoe films. 131 00:05:23,745 --> 00:05:25,825 Why exactly is it a death canoe? 132 00:05:25,827 --> 00:05:28,025 - Does it tip over easily? - Read my Twitter feed. 133 00:05:28,027 --> 00:05:30,559 I live tweeted the first three this morning in preparation. 134 00:05:30,561 --> 00:05:34,192 In the fifth one, the canoe's actually the hero. 135 00:05:34,194 --> 00:05:35,775 It's a crazy twist. 136 00:05:35,777 --> 00:05:37,359 - Hey. - Hey. 137 00:05:37,361 --> 00:05:38,892 - You're the, uh... - The lady and you're the... 138 00:05:38,894 --> 00:05:40,859 - USA! - Cool. Great. 139 00:05:40,861 --> 00:05:43,075 So hold on, what does this mean? 140 00:05:43,077 --> 00:05:45,409 It means Jen wants me to keep working for her. 141 00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:50,242 There's a businessman in Florida who wants to run for governor. 142 00:05:50,244 --> 00:05:51,559 Florida? They have sharks in Florida. 143 00:05:51,561 --> 00:05:53,109 And swamps. And swamp sharks. 144 00:05:53,111 --> 00:05:54,225 Do you mean alligators? 145 00:05:54,227 --> 00:05:56,109 Maybe. Look, so are you gonna do it? 146 00:05:56,111 --> 00:05:57,942 I... I mean, I just applied for a lease. 147 00:05:57,944 --> 00:05:59,693 - We were supposed to... - I know, 148 00:05:59,695 --> 00:06:02,409 and I know this makes the future a little murky, 149 00:06:02,411 --> 00:06:05,409 but right now everything's really preliminary, okay? 150 00:06:05,411 --> 00:06:07,693 We'll know more in a week or so. 151 00:06:07,695 --> 00:06:11,109 Trick or treat! 152 00:06:11,111 --> 00:06:13,909 7:34 pm. Man dressed as a nerd. 153 00:06:13,911 --> 00:06:15,058 Female dressed as crazy witch. 154 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,276 Neither of us is in costume. 155 00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:20,559 Case closed. Candy, please. 156 00:06:20,561 --> 00:06:23,576 Ron, Zoe broke my tiara! 157 00:06:23,578 --> 00:06:25,192 We both have the same tiara. 158 00:06:25,194 --> 00:06:27,025 Now she has one and I don't. 159 00:06:27,027 --> 00:06:29,058 - Okay. - I didn't mean to, Ivy! 160 00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:31,444 Okay, well, let's just even things out. 161 00:06:32,944 --> 00:06:36,075 There. Now neither of you has a tiara. Problem solved. 162 00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:43,609 - Oh! - Right in his face! 163 00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:46,942 "Sorry about your jaw, son." 164 00:06:46,944 --> 00:06:48,576 I mean, I just feel so powerless. 165 00:06:48,578 --> 00:06:51,392 Just when things start to turn around and they fall apart. 166 00:06:51,394 --> 00:06:54,276 Now I know exactly how FDR felt after Pearl Harbor. 167 00:06:54,278 --> 00:06:56,242 Look, you guys have survived this long. 168 00:06:56,244 --> 00:06:58,058 Please don't let this ruin your night. 169 00:06:58,060 --> 00:06:59,109 Let's have fun. 170 00:06:59,111 --> 00:07:00,392 It's Halloween. You love Halloween. 171 00:07:01,393 --> 00:07:03,559 Hey, I know what would cheer you up. 172 00:07:03,561 --> 00:07:05,276 Let's go wait outside the bathroom for Tom 173 00:07:05,278 --> 00:07:06,825 and scare him. 174 00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:08,392 That would cheer me up. 175 00:07:10,394 --> 00:07:12,159 Okay. 176 00:07:12,161 --> 00:07:13,725 Ready and... 177 00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:15,692 Boo! 178 00:07:19,559 --> 00:07:20,775 Jerry, God. Gross. 179 00:07:20,777 --> 00:07:22,909 Oh... 180 00:07:22,911 --> 00:07:24,359 Jerry? 181 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,442 Guys, I... 182 00:07:26,444 --> 00:07:28,025 Oh, God, I think he might be having a heart attack. 183 00:07:28,027 --> 00:07:30,692 What? Are you serious? 184 00:07:30,694 --> 00:07:31,742 Ugh. So much stuff is happening right now. 185 00:07:31,744 --> 00:07:33,576 - Okay, call 911. - Okay. 186 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,526 Just breathe, okay? You're gonna be fine. 187 00:07:35,528 --> 00:07:37,609 Oh, geez! Did a dinosaur just fart? 188 00:07:37,611 --> 00:07:38,859 Jerry, get a grip. 189 00:07:38,861 --> 00:07:40,075 Sorry, guys. 190 00:07:40,077 --> 00:07:41,576 Ugh! Apology not accepted. 191 00:07:41,578 --> 00:07:42,775 Stop talking, moron. 192 00:07:42,777 --> 00:07:44,225 I wish I could stop smelling. 193 00:07:44,227 --> 00:07:45,742 Dude. 194 00:07:45,744 --> 00:07:48,442 Seriously, Jerry, did you eat farts for lunch? 195 00:07:48,444 --> 00:07:49,742 Tom! Jerry's having a heart attack. 196 00:07:49,744 --> 00:07:50,742 Oh, no, I didn't know that. 197 00:07:50,744 --> 00:07:52,775 Jerry, you okay? 198 00:07:54,876 --> 00:07:57,263 Okay, I've got some magazines 199 00:07:57,264 --> 00:07:59,463 and those boring word jumbles you like to do. 200 00:07:59,465 --> 00:08:00,546 Is there anything else you need, J? 201 00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:01,795 Maybe some Gas-X? 202 00:08:01,797 --> 00:08:03,546 Ha ha, Tom. 203 00:08:03,548 --> 00:08:05,129 How is he, Ann? Give it to me straight. 204 00:08:05,131 --> 00:08:06,146 He's great. 205 00:08:06,148 --> 00:08:07,712 He should be out of here in a day or two. 206 00:08:07,714 --> 00:08:08,879 Doctor, medically speaking, 207 00:08:08,881 --> 00:08:10,096 how would you describe what happened to Jerry? 208 00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:11,596 He had a mild heart attack. 209 00:08:12,097 --> 00:08:16,912 Yeah, but he also exhibited excessive flatulence. 210 00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:18,929 Is there a term for having a heart attack 211 00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:20,962 while releasing so much gas? 212 00:08:20,964 --> 00:08:22,463 Not really. 213 00:08:22,465 --> 00:08:25,412 Gastrointestinal distress is common during a cardiac event. 214 00:08:25,414 --> 00:08:26,845 I just want to hear the doctor 215 00:08:26,847 --> 00:08:28,245 say that Jerry had a fart attack. 216 00:08:28,247 --> 00:08:29,712 Is that too much to ask? 217 00:08:29,714 --> 00:08:31,429 Thank you so much. 218 00:08:31,431 --> 00:08:34,262 Look at all the balloons and the flowers and the food and... 219 00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:36,795 my goodness, you're so sweet to come visit this often. 220 00:08:36,797 --> 00:08:38,546 - Well, they did cause it. - Hey. 221 00:08:38,548 --> 00:08:39,579 No. That's okay. 222 00:08:39,580 --> 00:08:41,296 I'm glad this happened. 223 00:08:41,298 --> 00:08:43,046 I mean, I could do without the mess of hospital bills, 224 00:08:43,048 --> 00:08:44,845 but no, this was a wakeup call. 225 00:08:44,847 --> 00:08:46,929 I'm gonna make some changes. 226 00:08:46,931 --> 00:08:49,463 I want at least another 30 years with Gayle and my girls. 227 00:08:49,465 --> 00:08:50,962 Don't worry, Jerry, okay? 228 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,962 You are gonna have the future that you've always planned. 229 00:08:53,964 --> 00:08:55,929 Just leave it to us. 230 00:08:56,431 --> 00:08:59,046 Okay, so I have arranged for the Parks Department 231 00:08:59,048 --> 00:09:01,912 to throw a huge garage sale fundraiser for Jerry 232 00:09:01,914 --> 00:09:03,578 to help pay for his hospital bills. 233 00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:05,296 The Pawnee municipal employee health care plan 234 00:09:05,298 --> 00:09:06,463 is kinda crappy. 235 00:09:06,465 --> 00:09:07,879 One time I sprained my wrist 236 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:10,079 and our insurance claimed that having a wrist 237 00:09:10,081 --> 00:09:11,762 was a pre-existing condition. 238 00:09:12,264 --> 00:09:13,962 Babe, how much should I sell this hat for? 239 00:09:13,964 --> 00:09:15,745 I don't know, eight cents? 240 00:09:15,747 --> 00:09:17,096 Honey, this is the hat I was wearing 241 00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,578 the first time I ever heard Vitalogy by Pearl Jam. 242 00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:21,212 Oh, $900. 243 00:09:21,214 --> 00:09:23,245 Yeah, that sounds about right. 244 00:09:23,247 --> 00:09:25,079 Ron, you're not selling anything? 245 00:09:25,081 --> 00:09:27,412 I am selling this table. 246 00:09:27,414 --> 00:09:29,745 I made it. 247 00:09:29,747 --> 00:09:31,179 So when am I gonna meet your new lover? 248 00:09:31,181 --> 00:09:33,745 I'm afraid things have hit a rough patch with Diane. 249 00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:36,262 She was not pleased with my babysitting performance 250 00:09:36,264 --> 00:09:38,795 and left me a very loud message on my cell phone. 251 00:09:38,797 --> 00:09:40,679 I'm sure she'll get over it 252 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,745 if you just say you're sorry though. 253 00:09:42,747 --> 00:09:45,046 I like Diane, but I'm not sure 254 00:09:45,048 --> 00:09:47,578 if I'm ready for a whole family. 255 00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:49,745 If the kids ever wanted to come to my place, 256 00:09:49,747 --> 00:09:51,729 I'd have to take a whole week off work 257 00:09:51,731 --> 00:09:54,262 just to undo the alarms and tripwires. 258 00:09:54,264 --> 00:09:56,595 Hey, that's my name. 259 00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,296 Yeah, that's my Chris Traeger box. 260 00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,296 All these boxes represent stuff 261 00:10:00,298 --> 00:10:02,245 from different eras of ex-boyfriends. 262 00:10:02,247 --> 00:10:05,179 Oh... Here are those ankle weights I bought you 263 00:10:05,181 --> 00:10:06,412 that you liked so much. 264 00:10:06,414 --> 00:10:08,096 Recently Leslie pointed out 265 00:10:08,098 --> 00:10:10,012 that sometimes when I date someone, 266 00:10:10,014 --> 00:10:13,962 I kind of adopt that person's personality. 267 00:10:13,964 --> 00:10:15,712 The evidence is fairly damning. 268 00:10:15,714 --> 00:10:18,129 Chris Traeger... exercise phase. 269 00:10:18,131 --> 00:10:20,545 Andy Dwyer... my grunge phase. 270 00:10:20,547 --> 00:10:23,346 Tom Haverford... my needless shopping phase. 271 00:10:23,348 --> 00:10:24,762 Also my credit card debt phase. 272 00:10:24,764 --> 00:10:26,463 Ann Perkins. 273 00:10:26,465 --> 00:10:28,762 Thank you so much for coming. Good afternoon. 274 00:10:28,764 --> 00:10:31,712 As many of your know, Jerry Gergich, our friend, 275 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,879 has suffered a devastating fart attack, 276 00:10:33,881 --> 00:10:35,463 and we are here to help. 277 00:10:35,464 --> 00:10:37,845 So there are some special auction items 278 00:10:37,847 --> 00:10:39,429 I will be dealing with. 279 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:41,679 The first item up for bid is an inscribed autobiography 280 00:10:41,681 --> 00:10:43,679 from Pawnee newscaster Perd Hapley. 281 00:10:43,681 --> 00:10:47,096 The book's entitled The Thing About Me Is I'm Perd Hapley. 282 00:10:47,098 --> 00:10:50,212 Anyway, let's start the bidding at $20. $20. 283 00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:52,046 Thank you sir, for 20. Do I see 30? 284 00:10:53,047 --> 00:10:55,462 Mr. Kurtzwilder, it might be helpful if you told us 285 00:10:55,464 --> 00:10:59,112 why you want to be governor of Florida. 286 00:10:59,114 --> 00:11:00,296 Well, I guess you could say 287 00:11:00,298 --> 00:11:02,595 mine is the classic Florida success story. 288 00:11:02,597 --> 00:11:04,212 I went to SFU law school, 289 00:11:04,214 --> 00:11:06,929 I was working at a small firm in Orlando, 290 00:11:06,931 --> 00:11:09,762 and one day, bam, just like that, gator eats penis. 291 00:11:09,764 --> 00:11:11,245 Excuse me? 292 00:11:11,247 --> 00:11:12,679 Well, that was my first high profile case. 293 00:11:12,681 --> 00:11:14,096 It was a classic Florida divorce. 294 00:11:14,098 --> 00:11:16,912 Guy cheats on his wife with Dan Marino's masseuse, 295 00:11:16,914 --> 00:11:19,428 one day she cuts his junk off, throws it in the Everglades. 296 00:11:19,430 --> 00:11:21,512 - Why not? - Damn alligator ate it. 297 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,296 And that case, that case made my career. 298 00:11:24,298 --> 00:11:27,046 Now, I just wanna give something back. 299 00:11:27,048 --> 00:11:29,929 Frankly, your path to victory is narrow. 300 00:11:29,931 --> 00:11:31,962 Governor Scott might be vulnerable, 301 00:11:31,964 --> 00:11:34,845 but you have very little name recognition. 302 00:11:34,847 --> 00:11:37,845 But the Barkley Group is the best at what we do. 303 00:11:37,847 --> 00:11:41,096 We're not in the business of losing elections. 304 00:11:41,098 --> 00:11:44,379 We can get you where you wanna go. 305 00:11:46,213 --> 00:11:47,595 I'm just saying, you should have put "spoiler alert" 306 00:11:47,597 --> 00:11:49,379 on all those Death Canoe tweets. 307 00:11:49,381 --> 00:11:50,745 Also, not safe for work. 308 00:11:50,747 --> 00:11:53,296 You know, a lot of what you wrote was really profane. 309 00:11:53,298 --> 00:11:55,212 That movie's 25 years old, Morris. 310 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:57,712 And if you don't like how I tweet, don't follow me. 311 00:11:57,714 --> 00:11:59,262 What are you doing now? I'm talking to you. 312 00:11:59,264 --> 00:12:02,096 I'm live tweeting this dumb-ass conversation. 313 00:12:02,098 --> 00:12:03,795 - You like that coat? - Yeah. 314 00:12:03,797 --> 00:12:06,245 But $200? It's used. 315 00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:09,628 I paid 150 for it, then added the scorpion. 316 00:12:09,630 --> 00:12:10,762 You can't sell clothes at a tag sale 317 00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:12,096 for more than they're worth. 318 00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:13,462 Um, watch me. 319 00:12:15,764 --> 00:12:16,929 Got a minute? 320 00:12:16,931 --> 00:12:17,929 Sure. 321 00:12:17,931 --> 00:12:19,912 I-I didn't expect to see you 322 00:12:19,914 --> 00:12:22,795 after the... yelling that occurred. 323 00:12:22,797 --> 00:12:24,079 Yeah, I was a bit stressed, 324 00:12:24,081 --> 00:12:26,378 but I'm not here to make excuses. 325 00:12:26,380 --> 00:12:30,096 I just wanted to say that I am sorry for the way I reacted. 326 00:12:30,098 --> 00:12:32,378 Apology accepted. 327 00:12:33,379 --> 00:12:35,245 Do you wanna say anything to me? 328 00:12:35,496 --> 00:12:37,879 Oh. Yes. 329 00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:40,296 You look nice today. 330 00:12:41,796 --> 00:12:43,428 You broke my daughter's tiara. 331 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,428 You ruined their Halloween. 332 00:12:45,430 --> 00:12:47,965 Don't you feel a little bit bad about that? 333 00:12:50,964 --> 00:12:52,595 - Okay... - Um. 334 00:12:53,097 --> 00:12:54,628 Too late. 335 00:12:54,630 --> 00:12:58,428 Good-bye. 336 00:12:58,430 --> 00:12:59,962 Dude, you're totally blowing this. 337 00:12:59,964 --> 00:13:02,628 I'm not gonna apologize. 338 00:13:02,630 --> 00:13:05,212 It wasn't even a real tiara, for God's sake. 339 00:13:05,214 --> 00:13:07,912 Oh, well, relationship over. Too bad. 340 00:13:07,914 --> 00:13:09,745 Oh, my God, you are so sad. 341 00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:12,578 - I am not. - Ron, she's right. 342 00:13:12,580 --> 00:13:14,595 I've trained extensively in the art of observation. 343 00:13:14,597 --> 00:13:17,046 You are sad, and we know why. 344 00:13:17,048 --> 00:13:19,046 You didn't sell you table. 345 00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,879 And it's probably a little too expensive. 346 00:13:21,881 --> 00:13:24,212 Shh. No. 347 00:13:24,214 --> 00:13:26,245 Okay, this is our final auction item. 348 00:13:26,247 --> 00:13:28,079 It's a one-of-a-kind autograph 349 00:13:28,081 --> 00:13:31,046 from mayor Gunderson's dog, Rufus. 350 00:13:31,048 --> 00:13:32,578 Yeah, we need some big bids... 351 00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:34,245 Oh, excuse me one second. 352 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:36,745 Um, can you... t... just... okay. 353 00:13:36,747 --> 00:13:39,046 Hey, how was the meeting? 354 00:13:39,048 --> 00:13:43,411 Kurtzwilder wants me to run his campaign from Florida. 355 00:13:43,413 --> 00:13:46,912 I'm not exactly sure when the job would even starts, 356 00:13:46,914 --> 00:13:49,245 but it would probably mean putting our plans on hold. 357 00:13:49,247 --> 00:13:50,578 Well, I mean, you know, 358 00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,578 obviously you gotta take it, right? 359 00:13:52,580 --> 00:13:54,079 No, I mean, I'm not making any decisions 360 00:13:54,081 --> 00:13:56,212 until we talk about this and everything it would mean. 361 00:13:56,214 --> 00:13:58,245 Look, I'm flying back to Washington. 362 00:13:58,247 --> 00:13:59,462 I'll call you when I get there. Okay? 363 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:00,912 Yeah, okay. 364 00:14:00,914 --> 00:14:02,912 - Love ya. - Love you, too. 365 00:14:02,914 --> 00:14:06,046 $55. Great. Okay, come on, $60? 366 00:14:06,048 --> 00:14:07,428 $65 anybody? 367 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,762 Hey, we're up to $60, not bad, right? 368 00:14:09,764 --> 00:14:11,079 Yes, Ann, bad. 369 00:14:11,081 --> 00:14:13,245 You might not care about Jerry's future, but I do. 370 00:14:13,246 --> 00:14:15,879 Okay? We need to do something very drastic so he can be happy, 371 00:14:15,881 --> 00:14:18,462 so we can all be happy. 372 00:14:18,464 --> 00:14:19,795 Uh, are you thinking what I'm thinking? 373 00:14:19,797 --> 00:14:20,845 Don't know what you're thinking, 374 00:14:20,847 --> 00:14:22,046 but I'm definitely not thinking 375 00:14:22,048 --> 00:14:23,462 - what you're thinking. - Good idea, Ann. 376 00:14:23,464 --> 00:14:25,912 Okay, we have a new item up for bid. 377 00:14:25,914 --> 00:14:28,012 A wonderful surprise item. 378 00:14:28,014 --> 00:14:31,096 An evening with sexy nurse Ann Perkins. 379 00:14:31,098 --> 00:14:32,628 - No. - Yes. 380 00:14:32,630 --> 00:14:34,745 Look at her, folks. 381 00:14:34,747 --> 00:14:36,179 One evening with the most beautiful woman in the world. 382 00:14:36,181 --> 00:14:37,762 Just dinner and dancing, nothing sexual. 383 00:14:37,764 --> 00:14:39,962 Unless she's into that, but no, she's not. 384 00:14:39,964 --> 00:14:41,212 Nothing fresh. Don't even try it. 385 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,595 - But you never know, right? - No! 386 00:14:42,597 --> 00:14:44,046 No, she's not into it. Don't try anything, 387 00:14:44,048 --> 00:14:45,179 but, you know, give it a shot. 388 00:14:45,181 --> 00:14:46,578 Either way, it's for a good cause. 389 00:14:46,580 --> 00:14:49,378 Let's raise some money. 390 00:14:51,168 --> 00:14:52,665 Please, we need to do this 391 00:14:52,666 --> 00:14:53,998 for Jerry and his future. 392 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,298 This could be great, you know? 393 00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:56,715 Three out of four married couples 394 00:14:56,717 --> 00:14:58,248 have met each other at spontaneous auctions. 395 00:14:58,250 --> 00:14:59,665 I don't think that's true. 396 00:14:59,667 --> 00:15:03,398 - I d... well, I don't know, I... - $100. 397 00:15:04,399 --> 00:15:06,132 All right, what the hell. 398 00:15:06,134 --> 00:15:08,298 Okay, we have a $100 bid for Ann Perkins. 399 00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:10,381 - 200. - 200. Thank you so much. 400 00:15:10,383 --> 00:15:12,531 200 for the smartest, most accomplished woman I know. 401 00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:13,665 And check out that bod. 402 00:15:13,667 --> 00:15:14,698 Can I get 3? $300. 403 00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:16,531 500. 404 00:15:16,533 --> 00:15:17,831 Uh-oh. 405 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,331 - $600. - 700. 406 00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:21,748 - 750. - $900. 407 00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:25,248 Wow, 900 from the man with the tank top and the tattoos. 408 00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:26,665 That's so great. Let's beat that, shall we? 409 00:15:26,667 --> 00:15:28,965 Who wants to beat it? Anybody beat it please? 410 00:15:28,967 --> 00:15:30,165 I'm sorry, I'm out. 411 00:15:30,167 --> 00:15:31,581 I wouldn't sell her to that guy, though. 412 00:15:31,583 --> 00:15:32,715 Just one man's opinion. 413 00:15:32,717 --> 00:15:33,882 Okay... 414 00:15:33,884 --> 00:15:37,498 Sir, what would you do with your $900 date? 415 00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:42,665 How would you, uh, um... What are you gonna do to her? 416 00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:43,965 I don't know. 417 00:15:43,967 --> 00:15:45,965 My cousin's got a kickass mud pit in his yard. 418 00:15:45,967 --> 00:15:47,164 She could watch me do belly flops 419 00:15:47,166 --> 00:15:48,882 then we maybe we could get some Thai food 420 00:15:48,884 --> 00:15:51,164 and a tank of nitrous and see what happens. 421 00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:53,864 Oh, that's not as bad as I thought it would be. 422 00:15:53,866 --> 00:15:55,882 I am going to bid a million dollars on myself. 423 00:15:55,884 --> 00:15:57,917 Going once, going never, sold. 424 00:16:00,051 --> 00:16:02,048 Ladies and gentlemen, the auction closes in five minutes. 425 00:16:02,049 --> 00:16:03,548 What up, playboy? 426 00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,214 You like that jacket? 427 00:16:05,216 --> 00:16:06,748 It's a pretty dope cut, right? 428 00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:08,464 Yeah. Can I have it, Mom? 429 00:16:08,466 --> 00:16:09,665 I could wear it to homecoming. 430 00:16:09,667 --> 00:16:11,048 300 bucks for something 431 00:16:11,050 --> 00:16:13,915 you're just gonna grow out of in a month? Forget it. 432 00:16:13,917 --> 00:16:16,214 Wait, I can rent it to you. 433 00:16:16,966 --> 00:16:17,998 Really? 434 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,548 Yeah, it's part of a business I run. 435 00:16:20,550 --> 00:16:22,665 High end clothes rentals for teens, tweens 436 00:16:22,667 --> 00:16:24,164 and everything in betweens. 437 00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:26,331 That jacket is 20 bucks a week. 438 00:16:27,332 --> 00:16:28,031 Done. 439 00:16:28,532 --> 00:16:29,715 This is a great idea. 440 00:16:29,717 --> 00:16:31,831 He grows so fast I never wanna buy him anything nice. 441 00:16:31,833 --> 00:16:33,998 What's the name of your business? 442 00:16:34,399 --> 00:16:35,748 Rent-a-swag. 443 00:16:36,249 --> 00:16:38,915 I'm sorry, Jerry, but your future has been canceled. 444 00:16:38,917 --> 00:16:40,698 We only raised $1,200. 445 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,548 Leslie, thank you. 446 00:16:42,550 --> 00:16:44,048 That is amazing. 447 00:16:44,050 --> 00:16:45,214 No, it stinks. 448 00:16:45,216 --> 00:16:46,915 It's not even close to what you need. 449 00:16:46,917 --> 00:16:48,882 With all your bills, 450 00:16:48,884 --> 00:16:50,631 and the inevitable follow-up problems, 451 00:16:50,633 --> 00:16:53,082 and the lifetime of chronic misery that awaits you. 452 00:16:53,084 --> 00:16:54,665 I mean, you had this whole plan 453 00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:56,831 for your retirement and your beach house 454 00:16:56,833 --> 00:17:00,882 and now you're future is just a huge pile of crap. 455 00:17:00,884 --> 00:17:03,164 Leslie, you can't actually plan your future. 456 00:17:03,166 --> 00:17:04,998 You know, there's no guarantees in this world. 457 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:08,197 As long as the people I love are a part of my life 458 00:17:08,199 --> 00:17:10,665 I will be just fine. 459 00:17:10,667 --> 00:17:13,248 You wanna stick around? 460 00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:14,548 Watch some of my stories with me? 461 00:17:14,550 --> 00:17:17,381 Tonight's strawberry Jell-o night! 462 00:17:17,383 --> 00:17:19,715 Oh, my God, your life is so depressing. 463 00:17:19,717 --> 00:17:21,831 No thank you. 464 00:17:23,717 --> 00:17:27,164 Never seen anyone more tortured over good news. 465 00:17:27,166 --> 00:17:29,081 I'm sorry, I don't mean to seem ungrateful. 466 00:17:29,083 --> 00:17:31,498 I just, you know, I have a lot to consider. 467 00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:32,548 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. 468 00:17:32,550 --> 00:17:34,031 Feelings and girlfriend and whatever. 469 00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:37,031 The point is just yesterday you said to me, 470 00:17:37,033 --> 00:17:40,164 "I'm never happier than when I'm managing a campaign." 471 00:17:40,166 --> 00:17:41,498 I don't think I said that. 472 00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:42,698 You didn't have to. 473 00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:44,214 I watched you in Florida. 474 00:17:44,216 --> 00:17:45,748 You were saying it with your heart. 475 00:17:45,750 --> 00:17:47,665 Wow, you are really good at this. 476 00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:49,414 Yes, I am. I'm amazing. 477 00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,831 But more importantly, so are you. 478 00:17:52,832 --> 00:17:55,197 There aren't a lot of people that can manage a campaign. 479 00:17:55,699 --> 00:18:01,581 But you, Ben Wyatt, are one of them. 480 00:18:01,583 --> 00:18:05,164 So, just take tonight and just think about your future. 481 00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:13,531 Hello, Diane. 482 00:18:13,533 --> 00:18:16,798 I have brought you flowers. 483 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,831 Also chocolates. 484 00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:21,331 And some grout cleaner. 485 00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:23,698 I noticed you needed grout cleaner, so I brought that too. 486 00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:26,665 Very romantic. 487 00:18:26,667 --> 00:18:28,965 My kids are non-negotiable, Ron. 488 00:18:28,967 --> 00:18:31,214 It's a package deal. 489 00:18:31,216 --> 00:18:35,715 I know. I'm sorry, Diane. I really am. 490 00:18:35,717 --> 00:18:38,381 I've been alone most of my life by choice 491 00:18:38,383 --> 00:18:40,915 and kids... 492 00:18:40,917 --> 00:18:44,081 this is all new for me. 493 00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:46,081 But I'd like to become familiar with it 494 00:18:46,833 --> 00:18:49,414 if you give me a chance to prove myself. 495 00:18:49,916 --> 00:18:52,215 I did bring the girls something. 496 00:18:54,215 --> 00:18:57,414 I thought I could teach 'em to saw. 497 00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:00,381 I now realize that seems dangerous. 498 00:19:01,866 --> 00:19:05,665 Well, my boyfriend might not be moving back for a while 499 00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:07,798 so I have to back out. 500 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,765 Just wanted to look at it one more time. 501 00:19:10,767 --> 00:19:12,264 You know I can't give you your deposit back. 502 00:19:12,266 --> 00:19:13,498 I know. 503 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,631 - And there's a $300... - All right, Martha. 504 00:19:15,633 --> 00:19:19,498 I get it. 505 00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:22,665 Actually, is there a way I could put down, like a... 506 00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:24,331 - Hey. - Hey. 507 00:19:24,333 --> 00:19:25,831 I didn't know you were coming back here. 508 00:19:25,833 --> 00:19:29,548 - Oh. - What are you doing? 509 00:19:30,309 --> 00:19:32,331 Oh, my God, what are you doing? 510 00:19:32,833 --> 00:19:36,364 I'm thinking about my future. 511 00:19:39,048 --> 00:19:43,364 I am deeply, ridiculously in love with you 512 00:19:43,366 --> 00:19:46,464 and above everything else, I just... 513 00:19:46,466 --> 00:19:48,248 I wanna be with you forever. 514 00:19:49,749 --> 00:19:51,150 So, Leslie Knope, 515 00:19:51,747 --> 00:19:53,248 - will... - Wait. Wait. 516 00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:54,882 - Okay? - Okay. 517 00:19:54,884 --> 00:19:57,581 - Just... I need to remember this. - Sure. 518 00:19:57,583 --> 00:20:00,831 - Gimme a second. - Okay. 519 00:20:01,582 --> 00:20:04,197 - Leslie K... - No, no, no, no, hold on. 520 00:20:04,199 --> 00:20:05,831 Just... I need another second, please. 521 00:20:05,833 --> 00:20:12,531 I need to remember every little thing about how perfect 522 00:20:12,533 --> 00:20:16,381 my life is right now at this exact moment. 523 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:18,414 Okay. 524 00:20:27,715 --> 00:20:28,798 Are you good? 525 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:29,997 - Yeah. - Okay. 526 00:20:29,999 --> 00:20:31,831 I'm good. 527 00:20:31,833 --> 00:20:32,866 Leslie Knope, 528 00:20:33,631 --> 00:20:34,864 - will you... - Yes! 529 00:20:42,548 --> 00:20:43,964 - Marry me? - Oh, yeah. 530 00:20:43,966 --> 00:20:45,881 Okay. Great. 531 00:20:46,963 --> 00:20:51,875 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com 532 00:20:53,221 --> 00:20:54,721 Trick or treat! 533 00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:57,053 It's November 8th. 534 00:20:57,087 --> 00:20:59,553 Yes, well, these girls didn't get a chance 535 00:20:59,587 --> 00:21:00,619 to go trick or treating 536 00:21:00,637 --> 00:21:02,253 so somewhere in this house 537 00:21:02,287 --> 00:21:03,786 there is some candy. 538 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,720 Why don't you find it and we'll get right out of your hair. 539 00:21:06,754 --> 00:21:10,803 All right, hold on one second. 540 00:21:11,337 --> 00:21:14,285 - You having fun, ladies? - Yeah! 541 00:21:14,303 --> 00:21:19,302 All right, I got some, uh, calcium chews 542 00:21:19,337 --> 00:21:21,753 and, uh, a roll of cookie dough. 543 00:21:21,787 --> 00:21:23,052 Okay, what do you say, girls? 544 00:21:23,086 --> 00:21:24,952 Thank you! 545 00:21:24,970 --> 00:21:26,719 Tremendous. 546 00:21:26,754 --> 00:21:28,586 Appreciate it. 547 00:21:28,588 --> 00:21:38,578 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com