1
00:00:00,354 --> 00:00:03,603
I'm gonna get 12 eggs
and part of a dead animal.

2
00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:05,401
Dealer's choice.
Please and thank you.

3
00:00:05,402 --> 00:00:06,601
What can I get you, Ann?

4
00:00:06,602 --> 00:00:08,701
I will have oatmeal
and berries.

5
00:00:09,202 --> 00:00:12,032
And I will have catfish
and grits,

6
00:00:12,367 --> 00:00:13,466
with pumpernickel toast.

7
00:00:13,467 --> 00:00:14,533
Explain.

8
00:00:14,534 --> 00:00:15,883
Well, instead
of getting swept up

9
00:00:15,884 --> 00:00:17,683
in my boyfriends'
personalities,

10
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:20,416
I am dating myself
and trying new things.

11
00:00:20,417 --> 00:00:21,583
So every time
I go out to eat,

12
00:00:21,584 --> 00:00:23,783
I order one thing
that's typical me

13
00:00:23,784 --> 00:00:26,116
and then something
that I would never order.

14
00:00:26,117 --> 00:00:27,949
Now I have two best friends,
Ann and Ann.

15
00:00:27,950 --> 00:00:29,481
Each one more beautiful
than the other.

16
00:00:29,482 --> 00:00:31,115
Oh, I also
have been documenting

17
00:00:31,116 --> 00:00:33,649
all the new things I'm trying
on my blog.

18
00:00:33,650 --> 00:00:34,649
Check this out.

19
00:00:34,650 --> 00:00:36,049
I went skydiving.

20
00:00:37,150 --> 00:00:39,281
Which Ann is screaming
like a maniac?

21
00:00:39,282 --> 00:00:41,916
Oatmeal Ann or catfish Ann?

22
00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:43,915
I'm not sure,
because I instantly blacked out

23
00:00:43,916 --> 00:00:44,981
from extreme terror.

24
00:00:50,582 --> 00:00:54,911
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com

25
00:01:08,247 --> 00:01:10,312
Hey, I have an idea
for your blog.

26
00:01:10,313 --> 00:01:11,780
I think you should
take yourself ice-skating.

27
00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:12,914
That sounds fun.

28
00:01:12,915 --> 00:01:13,914
Yeah, we'll do a double date:

29
00:01:13,915 --> 00:01:15,046
You and you,
and me and Ben.

30
00:01:15,047 --> 00:01:16,079
But I have to warn you,

31
00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:17,079
I'm very good at ice-skating.

32
00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:18,311
I can do jumps.

33
00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:19,445
You know what?
I probably shouldn't come.

34
00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:21,046
I'll embarrass
the both of you.

35
00:01:21,047 --> 00:01:23,112
Actually, I know what
my next activity is gonna be.

36
00:01:23,113 --> 00:01:25,412
And it's a biggie.

37
00:01:25,413 --> 00:01:26,579
I want to be a mom.

38
00:01:26,580 --> 00:01:28,646
I'm going
to the sperm bank today.

39
00:01:28,647 --> 00:01:29,946
Can you come?

40
00:01:29,947 --> 00:01:31,111
Wow, today?

41
00:01:31,112 --> 00:01:34,144
Ann, you know
that I fully support

42
00:01:34,145 --> 00:01:35,611
any woman's decision...

43
00:01:35,612 --> 00:01:38,377
especially a beautiful
unicorn-nurse like yourself...

44
00:01:38,378 --> 00:01:40,611
in creating the family
that she wants.

45
00:01:40,612 --> 00:01:43,244
But you are so brilliant
and kind and stupid hot.

46
00:01:43,245 --> 00:01:44,477
I mean,
you're definitely gonna find

47
00:01:44,478 --> 00:01:46,644
a wonderful guy
who loves you and respects you

48
00:01:46,645 --> 00:01:49,243
and fills your home
with multi-ethnic genius babies.

49
00:01:49,244 --> 00:01:51,510
Maybe,
or maybe not.

50
00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:54,476
You hit the lottery with Ben,
and that's great,

51
00:01:54,477 --> 00:01:56,476
but not everybody's so lucky.

52
00:01:56,477 --> 00:01:57,944
I've wanted to be a mom
for a long time,

53
00:01:57,945 --> 00:01:59,977
I'm ready, and I think
I'd be good at it.

54
00:01:59,978 --> 00:02:02,410
Ann is giving up on love

55
00:02:02,411 --> 00:02:04,175
and deciding
to have a baby with herself.

56
00:02:04,176 --> 00:02:06,676
And she has only been
dating herself for six weeks.

57
00:02:06,677 --> 00:02:09,010
If she were dating a guy
for six weeks,

58
00:02:09,011 --> 00:02:10,509
and they decided
to have a kid,

59
00:02:10,510 --> 00:02:12,643
I'd be like,
"Congratulations, Ann...

60
00:02:12,644 --> 00:02:14,275
And Channing Tatum."

61
00:02:14,276 --> 00:02:15,609
Because that is
the only scenario

62
00:02:15,610 --> 00:02:17,242
that would make sense to me.

63
00:02:17,243 --> 00:02:20,341
What a gorgeous
herbaceous medley.

64
00:02:20,342 --> 00:02:21,808
There's been a mistake.

65
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:25,074
You've accidentally given me
the food that my food eats.

66
00:02:25,075 --> 00:02:26,942
Salad is traditionally
the first course at a wedding.

67
00:02:26,943 --> 00:02:29,307
Is a gerbil marrying
a rabbit?

68
00:02:29,308 --> 00:02:30,975
I'm in charge of food
for the wedding.

69
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:33,575
So I brought in
Pawnee's three best caterers

70
00:02:33,576 --> 00:02:35,674
and a panel of experts.

71
00:02:35,675 --> 00:02:37,473
Chris loves vegetables.

72
00:02:37,474 --> 00:02:39,173
Ron loves meat.

73
00:02:39,174 --> 00:02:41,974
And Tom considers himself
a foodie,

74
00:02:41,975 --> 00:02:44,674
which apparently means
taking instagrams of food

75
00:02:44,675 --> 00:02:45,807
instead of eating it.

76
00:02:45,808 --> 00:02:48,340
Okay, so I liked number one,

77
00:02:48,341 --> 00:02:49,641
Chris liked number two,

78
00:02:49,642 --> 00:02:52,040
and Ron liked number three.

79
00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:53,773
Tom, what about you?

80
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:56,472
Caterer number one's
presentation was simple,

81
00:02:56,473 --> 00:02:57,873
mm, yet exhausting.

82
00:02:57,874 --> 00:03:01,203
Number two's was subtle
and provocative,

83
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,606
like a coy Dutch woman
guarding a dark secret.

84
00:03:03,607 --> 00:03:05,239
Nothing you're saying
is helpful.

85
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:07,405
But number three's told
a story...

86
00:03:07,406 --> 00:03:09,839
a story from a book
I wouldn't read

87
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,038
but I would watch
the movie of.

88
00:03:12,039 --> 00:03:13,271
That's nonsense.

89
00:03:13,272 --> 00:03:14,705
You know what?

90
00:03:14,706 --> 00:03:16,038
I'm gonna go
with the first place.

91
00:03:16,039 --> 00:03:17,539
I really loved that appetizer.

92
00:03:17,540 --> 00:03:18,705
Oh, the mini-calzone?

93
00:03:18,706 --> 00:03:19,772
I wouldn't call it that.

94
00:03:19,773 --> 00:03:21,505
It was more like
a savory pastry.

95
00:03:21,506 --> 00:03:23,671
Delicate little dough pocket

96
00:03:23,672 --> 00:03:26,804
filled with tomato sauce,
cheese, and seasoned meat.

97
00:03:26,805 --> 00:03:29,103
Just a stunning
culinary innovation.

98
00:03:29,104 --> 00:03:30,704
It was a calzone.

99
00:03:30,705 --> 00:03:32,738
It was literally
just a small calzone.

100
00:03:32,739 --> 00:03:35,237
Let me just get some details
for your file.

101
00:03:35,238 --> 00:03:36,504
Now, are you two a couple?

102
00:03:36,505 --> 00:03:39,202
No. Tragically,
we are both heterosexual.

103
00:03:39,203 --> 00:03:41,236
So, Ann, what
are you looking for

104
00:03:41,237 --> 00:03:42,703
in particular?

105
00:03:42,704 --> 00:03:44,870
Some sperm.

106
00:03:44,871 --> 00:03:46,436
I meant
in terms of a donor?

107
00:03:46,437 --> 00:03:49,987
Oh, you know, nice guy...
Nice sperm.

108
00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:51,269
Flip through this binder,

109
00:03:51,270 --> 00:03:52,970
make a note
of anyone who interests you,

110
00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:55,435
and I'll be back shortly.

111
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,168
Oh!
This guy went to Harvard!

112
00:03:57,169 --> 00:03:58,268
So did the Unabomber.

113
00:03:58,269 --> 00:03:59,301
This guys seems healthy.

114
00:03:59,302 --> 00:04:00,301
Loves cycling.

115
00:04:00,302 --> 00:04:01,769
Yeah, so did Lance Armstrong,

116
00:04:01,770 --> 00:04:03,402
and he turned out
to be a lying drug user.

117
00:04:03,403 --> 00:04:04,602
Or a hero.

118
00:04:04,603 --> 00:04:06,201
I don't know where we stand
on him now.

119
00:04:06,202 --> 00:04:07,235
Hello, ladies.

120
00:04:07,236 --> 00:04:08,435
Fancy meeting you here.

121
00:04:08,436 --> 00:04:10,568
Whoa, Sewage Joe.

122
00:04:10,569 --> 00:04:12,367
Wow. Ann, you remember
Joe Fantringham.

123
00:04:12,368 --> 00:04:14,501
He is the gentleman
who was fired

124
00:04:14,502 --> 00:04:15,835
for emailing
a picture of his penis

125
00:04:15,836 --> 00:04:16,902
to every woman in city hall.

126
00:04:16,903 --> 00:04:18,100
Guilty.

127
00:04:18,101 --> 00:04:19,635
Yeah, that's what
the judge said.

128
00:04:19,636 --> 00:04:22,200
- Mmhmm.
- Joe, you are a donor here, huh?

129
00:04:22,201 --> 00:04:23,300
Did you hear that, Ann?

130
00:04:23,301 --> 00:04:24,801
Big time,
me and all my buddies.

131
00:04:24,802 --> 00:04:26,734
Free money, free porn.

132
00:04:26,735 --> 00:04:28,333
Best job I ever had.

133
00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:29,734
Also...

134
00:04:29,735 --> 00:04:31,901
If you're looking
to buy some weed,

135
00:04:31,902 --> 00:04:34,099
I'm looking as well.

136
00:04:35,368 --> 00:04:36,836
- Shall we?
- Yup.

137
00:04:38,835 --> 00:04:41,734
Okay, Leslie Knope outfit
number eight.

138
00:04:41,735 --> 00:04:43,599
Babe, you look super hot.

139
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,733
You realize you've said that
about all of them?

140
00:04:45,734 --> 00:04:46,900
Well, she has,
every single time.

141
00:04:46,901 --> 00:04:48,566
'Cause she is super hot.

142
00:04:48,567 --> 00:04:50,833
Honestly,
you'd look hot naked.

143
00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:54,163
Ugh. This suit makes me want
to scold a Catholic child.

144
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,566
I don't know who Ann Taylor is,

145
00:04:56,567 --> 00:04:58,065
but I hate her
and I want to kill her.

146
00:04:58,066 --> 00:05:01,064
I have to lead a public forum
for the Pawnee Commons

147
00:05:01,065 --> 00:05:02,364
every day this week,

148
00:05:02,365 --> 00:05:04,964
and I hate talking to people.

149
00:05:04,965 --> 00:05:06,197
So, to get through it,

150
00:05:06,198 --> 00:05:07,899
I figured
I'm just gonna basically try

151
00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:09,097
to imitate Leslie.

152
00:05:09,798 --> 00:05:11,398
She still wears this.

153
00:05:11,399 --> 00:05:12,798
She had the patch sewn in.

154
00:05:12,799 --> 00:05:14,498
You can't remove it.

155
00:05:14,499 --> 00:05:16,397
What's in the pocket, you ask?

156
00:05:16,398 --> 00:05:19,728
A ticket stub from
a Fleetwood Mac concert in 1995,

157
00:05:19,931 --> 00:05:21,232
and...

158
00:05:23,231 --> 00:05:24,631
This one is terrible,

159
00:05:24,632 --> 00:05:27,296
but it is slightly less terrible
than the rest.

160
00:05:27,297 --> 00:05:30,130
So tomorrow,
I lead a public forum

161
00:05:30,131 --> 00:05:32,062
in Leslie's Fleetwood Mac
sex pants.

162
00:05:32,063 --> 00:05:34,295
Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants.
New band name. I call it.

163
00:05:34,296 --> 00:05:35,630
Ooh, you know what?

164
00:05:35,631 --> 00:05:38,960
Maybe just Fleetwood Mac.

165
00:05:39,230 --> 00:05:40,563
So what's the next move?

166
00:05:40,564 --> 00:05:42,062
Is there, like,
a better sperm bank

167
00:05:42,063 --> 00:05:43,362
in Eagleton or something?

168
00:05:43,363 --> 00:05:44,863
Um, you don't want
a demon baby.

169
00:05:44,864 --> 00:05:46,062
Look, you're Ann Perkins.

170
00:05:46,063 --> 00:05:47,729
Sperm that is worthy
of your perfect eggs

171
00:05:47,730 --> 00:05:49,061
does not grow on trees.

172
00:05:49,062 --> 00:05:50,461
I think, ideally,

173
00:05:50,462 --> 00:05:52,595
you'd want
to know the guy, right?

174
00:05:52,596 --> 00:05:54,061
You'd want
to know his personality,

175
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,094
his favorite season
of Friends,

176
00:05:56,095 --> 00:05:57,961
whether or not he hates jazz...
hopefully, he does.

177
00:05:57,962 --> 00:05:59,128
You'd want to know him.

178
00:05:59,129 --> 00:06:00,995
Yes, Leslie,
you're totally right.

179
00:06:00,996 --> 00:06:02,328
I'm gonna go home,

180
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:03,694
and I'm gonna make a list

181
00:06:03,695 --> 00:06:05,960
of all the guys I already know
who could be donors.

182
00:06:05,961 --> 00:06:07,828
And then,
I'm gonna call them

183
00:06:07,829 --> 00:06:08,994
and tell them
I'm doing some blog entry

184
00:06:08,995 --> 00:06:10,828
on men's health or something.

185
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,794
I can interview them
and ask them whatever I want.

186
00:06:12,795 --> 00:06:14,093
You're a genius!

187
00:06:14,094 --> 00:06:15,127
This is your idea,
and I love it.

188
00:06:15,128 --> 00:06:16,160
I'll call you later.

189
00:06:16,161 --> 00:06:17,761
No.

190
00:06:17,762 --> 00:06:19,593
If I don't slow
this baby train down,

191
00:06:19,594 --> 00:06:22,126
Ann may end up having a baby
with some random weirdo

192
00:06:22,127 --> 00:06:23,393
instead of her soul mate.

193
00:06:23,394 --> 00:06:24,459
I fully believe

194
00:06:24,460 --> 00:06:25,593
that a woman
should be in charge

195
00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:27,026
of what happens
to her body.

196
00:06:27,027 --> 00:06:29,159
In this case,
the body is Ann's,

197
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,393
and the woman
in charge of it is me.

198
00:06:33,485 --> 00:06:34,733
I was up all night brainstorming

199
00:06:34,734 --> 00:06:36,531
and this is
the complete official list

200
00:06:36,532 --> 00:06:38,865
of candidates
for Ann's baby daddy.

201
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,198
Wow, how did you come up
with these three names?

202
00:06:41,449 --> 00:06:43,582
Well, I eliminated everyone
in a relationship

203
00:06:43,583 --> 00:06:44,781
and the obvious "No" s,

204
00:06:44,782 --> 00:06:46,847
like Knuckle-hair Dave
from HR.

205
00:06:46,848 --> 00:06:47,981
I don't mind the knuckle hair.

206
00:06:47,982 --> 00:06:49,581
- I just think he's a dick.
- Yeah.

207
00:06:49,582 --> 00:06:51,581
And I was left
with those three guys.

208
00:06:51,582 --> 00:06:53,547
Don't forget, they don't know
about the sperm donor thing.

209
00:06:53,548 --> 00:06:54,879
I don't want them to know.

210
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,614
I told them I was
interviewing them for a blog.

211
00:06:56,615 --> 00:06:58,114
Here comes the first one.
Dr. Harris!

212
00:06:58,115 --> 00:06:59,114
- H-hey, there he is.
- Hi.

213
00:06:59,115 --> 00:07:00,581
Ann, Leslie.

214
00:07:01,081 --> 00:07:02,447
Small office.
Mine's way bigger.

215
00:07:02,448 --> 00:07:04,913
Is this gonna take long?
Got a patient coming in.

216
00:07:04,914 --> 00:07:07,279
No, not at all.
Please have a seat.

217
00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:08,979
Actually, maybe you should
check in on your patient.

218
00:07:08,980 --> 00:07:11,012
I know that I hate it
when my doctor makes me wait.

219
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:12,246
Guy's got a spinal fracture.

220
00:07:12,247 --> 00:07:13,279
He's not going anywhere.

221
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:14,912
- Uh-huh.
- Ooh.

222
00:07:14,913 --> 00:07:16,779
The seats in my office
are leather.

223
00:07:16,780 --> 00:07:18,779
Okay.

224
00:07:22,713 --> 00:07:23,811
Chris?

225
00:07:24,112 --> 00:07:25,811
I'm dying.

226
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:27,512
I was dying earlier today.

227
00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:29,645
And then I died.

228
00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:31,344
Now I'm dead.

229
00:07:31,345 --> 00:07:32,612
I had to cancel a date

230
00:07:32,613 --> 00:07:34,312
with Shauna Malwae-Tweep.

231
00:07:34,313 --> 00:07:35,612
And I really like her.

232
00:07:36,112 --> 00:07:38,112
Do you think
she'll still like me

233
00:07:38,113 --> 00:07:39,144
now that I'm dead?

234
00:07:39,145 --> 00:07:40,744
What is this?

235
00:07:40,745 --> 00:07:43,843
It's food poisoning.
I have it too.

236
00:07:44,094 --> 00:07:46,860
I did not sleep
for one second last night.

237
00:07:46,861 --> 00:07:48,926
And I cracked the bottom
of the toilet bowl.

238
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:50,526
Oh, God, don't say that.

239
00:07:50,527 --> 00:07:52,192
Has anybody talked to Tom?

240
00:07:52,193 --> 00:07:53,660
I can't even imagine

241
00:07:53,661 --> 00:07:55,992
what that tiny little man
must be feeling like.

242
00:07:55,993 --> 00:07:57,593
I have voided more
than Tom's body weight

243
00:07:57,594 --> 00:07:59,859
in the last 12 hours alone.

244
00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:01,693
He might have just disappeared
off the earth.

245
00:08:01,694 --> 00:08:04,493
We need to call him.
We must reach out to him.

246
00:08:08,326 --> 00:08:10,258
I can't do it.

247
00:08:21,025 --> 00:08:23,624
Ben, extension 7820.

248
00:08:35,424 --> 00:08:36,724
Hello, everyone.

249
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:39,122
I'm April Ludgate
from the Parks Department.

250
00:08:39,123 --> 00:08:43,352
And welcome to a public forum
about the Pawnee Commons.

251
00:08:43,424 --> 00:08:46,223
As Eleanor Roosevelt once said

252
00:08:46,224 --> 00:08:49,122
to Betty Ford...

253
00:08:49,123 --> 00:08:50,989
"Hillary Clinton is great."

254
00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:54,819
Now, if you all would
kindly look under your chairs,

255
00:08:55,189 --> 00:08:57,188
you will find
a special surprise...

256
00:08:57,189 --> 00:08:59,656
a flyer with details
about the project,

257
00:08:59,657 --> 00:09:02,055
and... Friendship bands

258
00:09:02,056 --> 00:09:04,356
that I've made
for each and every one of you.

259
00:09:04,357 --> 00:09:07,656
So now,
I guess we're Park Pals.

260
00:09:07,657 --> 00:09:09,421
You should see the booger
under this chair.

261
00:09:09,921 --> 00:09:10,821
Andy.

262
00:09:11,322 --> 00:09:13,054
It's nice
to see you again, Ann.

263
00:09:13,055 --> 00:09:14,221
I was happy to get the call.

264
00:09:14,222 --> 00:09:16,521
- Yeah, Pete, you look great.
- Aww.

265
00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:19,154
So are you still
dunking basketballs?

266
00:09:19,155 --> 00:09:20,754
You know, I'm a lot more

267
00:09:20,755 --> 00:09:22,954
than just a former
high school basketball star.

268
00:09:22,955 --> 00:09:25,686
I teach marketing over
at Pawnee Community College.

269
00:09:25,687 --> 00:09:27,520
- Oh, that's great.
- Yeah.

270
00:09:27,521 --> 00:09:30,850
Would you say
you value education?

271
00:09:32,020 --> 00:09:34,153
I see what's going on here.

272
00:09:34,154 --> 00:09:35,720
You want my sperm.

273
00:09:35,721 --> 00:09:38,253
What?
What are you talking about?

274
00:09:38,254 --> 00:09:39,387
When will women
in this town

275
00:09:39,388 --> 00:09:42,219
stop scheming
to get my sperm?

276
00:09:42,220 --> 00:09:43,586
Wow.

277
00:09:43,587 --> 00:09:45,819
That son of a bitch is astute.

278
00:09:45,820 --> 00:09:47,185
Okay, all I need to do

279
00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:48,918
is just shoot
one more person down

280
00:09:48,919 --> 00:09:50,252
and then I can
buy some time

281
00:09:50,253 --> 00:09:53,583
and convince Ann to wait
for her own Ben-level soul mate.

282
00:09:54,153 --> 00:09:56,885
The last guy
is Howard Tuttleman.

283
00:09:56,886 --> 00:09:58,284
I know that name.

284
00:09:58,285 --> 00:09:59,751
How do I know that name?

285
00:09:59,752 --> 00:10:01,184
I know it's a winter's morn,

286
00:10:01,185 --> 00:10:02,917
but it feels
like a summer's eve,

287
00:10:02,918 --> 00:10:05,585
'cause "the douche"
is in the building.

288
00:10:05,586 --> 00:10:08,585
What's up, ladies?

289
00:10:10,719 --> 00:10:12,318
Oh, whoa!

290
00:10:12,319 --> 00:10:14,083
Smells like some vomit
took a dump in here.

291
00:10:14,084 --> 00:10:15,116
What happened?

292
00:10:15,117 --> 00:10:16,916
We got food poisoning, Tom.

293
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:17,983
Yuck.

294
00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:19,916
How do you
not have food poisoning?

295
00:10:19,917 --> 00:10:21,717
Because he didn't eat
anything.

296
00:10:21,718 --> 00:10:22,983
He just took pictures

297
00:10:22,984 --> 00:10:25,150
and talked
about the "wow" factor.

298
00:10:25,151 --> 00:10:26,783
Not true.
I ate everything you did.

299
00:10:26,784 --> 00:10:27,983
Are you sure?

300
00:10:27,984 --> 00:10:29,649
Is there anything
that you didn't eat?

301
00:10:29,650 --> 00:10:30,882
Oh, yeah.

302
00:10:30,883 --> 00:10:32,082
I didn't eat
those stupid mini-calzones.

303
00:10:32,083 --> 00:10:34,516
Haver-food rule number six...

304
00:10:34,517 --> 00:10:36,716
never eat anything with
a sauce I have to dip myself.

305
00:10:36,717 --> 00:10:38,115
Drizzle it on for me.

306
00:10:38,116 --> 00:10:39,682
I'm not your maid.

307
00:10:39,683 --> 00:10:42,682
The calzones... betrayed me?

308
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:44,216
Never again, guys.

309
00:10:44,217 --> 00:10:46,248
As God as my witness,

310
00:10:46,249 --> 00:10:47,549
they're dead to me.

311
00:10:47,550 --> 00:10:49,715
All right, well,
Tommy feels great.

312
00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:51,815
And I'm about
to go eat some lasagna.

313
00:10:51,816 --> 00:10:52,981
Peace!

314
00:10:54,982 --> 00:10:57,848
I'm afraid this park
will raise my taxes.

315
00:10:57,849 --> 00:10:59,549
Ah, well, fear not.

316
00:10:59,550 --> 00:11:01,847
Between the normal Parks budget
and our corporate partners...

317
00:11:01,848 --> 00:11:04,180
- I'm also afraid
the park will be noisy.

318
00:11:04,181 --> 00:11:05,647
And full of spiders.

319
00:11:05,648 --> 00:11:07,047
And dark at nighttime.

320
00:11:07,048 --> 00:11:09,147
I'm scared of a lot of stuff.

321
00:11:09,148 --> 00:11:10,814
Everything's fine.

322
00:11:10,815 --> 00:11:13,013
I'm fine.
I'm Walter, and I'm fine.

323
00:11:13,014 --> 00:11:15,080
Is this gonna be
a topless park?

324
00:11:15,081 --> 00:11:17,846
I don't think there are
topless parks.

325
00:11:17,847 --> 00:11:19,713
Well, let's build
the first one

326
00:11:19,714 --> 00:11:21,347
and be heroes.

327
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:22,912
If this is going to be
a topless park,

328
00:11:22,913 --> 00:11:24,713
I won't sign your petition.

329
00:11:24,714 --> 00:11:26,447
If she's going
to the topless park,

330
00:11:26,448 --> 00:11:29,777
I'm not signing
the topless park petition.

331
00:11:30,247 --> 00:11:32,380
You know, I take that back,
I'm still in.

332
00:11:32,381 --> 00:11:33,911
What's up?
I'm Harris.

333
00:11:33,912 --> 00:11:36,778
Yeah, yeah. Forget whatever
that Pawnee Commons is.

334
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:37,911
I'm with that pervert.

335
00:11:37,912 --> 00:11:40,178
Topless park.
Topless park!

336
00:11:40,179 --> 00:11:42,978
- Topless park!
- Topless park!

337
00:11:42,979 --> 00:11:44,678
Where'd you go
to school again?

338
00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:46,911
Northwestern.
I studied semiotics.

339
00:11:46,912 --> 00:11:49,910
Wrote a thesis on narrative
forms in the digital world.

340
00:11:49,911 --> 00:11:51,510
Then you became
a morning shock-jock

341
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:54,610
and created
the sport "taint ball"?

342
00:11:54,611 --> 00:11:56,244
Yeah. You know,
the douche persona

343
00:11:56,245 --> 00:11:58,044
is something I came up with
during college.

344
00:11:58,045 --> 00:11:59,877
It started as satire,

345
00:11:59,878 --> 00:12:01,744
and, you know, we snowballed
to where we are today.

346
00:12:01,745 --> 00:12:03,345
I mean, I know it's
a silly thing to do,

347
00:12:03,346 --> 00:12:04,844
but it pays the bills.

348
00:12:04,845 --> 00:12:06,310
Well, I think, you probably
need to get back to the studio,

349
00:12:06,311 --> 00:12:09,009
play some fart jokes,
make fun of some immigrants.

350
00:12:09,010 --> 00:12:12,009
Actually, a farting immigrant
segment would be really funny.

351
00:12:12,010 --> 00:12:13,609
Ay dios...

352
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:15,976
Good looking out, Leslie.

353
00:12:15,977 --> 00:12:17,609
You guys ever want
to do this again,

354
00:12:17,610 --> 00:12:19,576
sans clothing,
give me a shout.

355
00:12:19,577 --> 00:12:21,476
- Gross.
- That was the douche talking.

356
00:12:21,477 --> 00:12:23,242
Honestly, good luck
on this project.

357
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,008
It sounds really interesting.

358
00:12:25,009 --> 00:12:26,608
I'm gonna scan a quick pic
of them boobies

359
00:12:26,609 --> 00:12:29,775
for a little deposit
in "El banco de spanko."

360
00:12:29,776 --> 00:12:31,309
That was the douche talking.

361
00:12:31,310 --> 00:12:32,575
Douche nation.

362
00:12:32,576 --> 00:12:34,542
You guys know
where the library is?

363
00:12:34,543 --> 00:12:36,742
Wow.
Okay, that's not gonna work.

364
00:12:36,743 --> 00:12:38,208
Back to the drawing board.

365
00:12:38,209 --> 00:12:39,874
No need.
I choose Howard.

366
00:12:39,875 --> 00:12:41,708
You want to have a baby
with the douche?

367
00:12:41,709 --> 00:12:43,574
His name's Howard Tuttleman,
Leslie.

368
00:12:43,575 --> 00:12:45,708
And I know he plays
that obnoxious character

369
00:12:45,709 --> 00:12:47,507
on the radio,
but he's a good guy,

370
00:12:47,508 --> 00:12:49,041
his family is healthy,

371
00:12:49,042 --> 00:12:50,907
and he is successful
and smart.

372
00:12:50,908 --> 00:12:52,574
Ann, you cannot be serious.

373
00:12:52,575 --> 00:12:54,640
I am.
And I've made my decision.

374
00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:57,341
- I am sure of it.
Okay.

375
00:12:57,342 --> 00:12:59,540
Douche!
Hey, douche!

376
00:13:00,041 --> 00:13:01,240
Councilman Howser.

377
00:13:01,241 --> 00:13:02,740
Councilwoman Knope.

378
00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:04,207
'Sup, Leslie?

379
00:13:04,208 --> 00:13:06,807
You wanna funk this junk
in the back of my trunk?

380
00:13:06,808 --> 00:13:08,573
That was the douche talking.

381
00:13:08,574 --> 00:13:10,706
Okay, look,
Ann is not interviewing you

382
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,039
for her blog.

383
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,439
She's thinking
about having a baby,

384
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,539
and she's considering you
as a possible donor.

385
00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:17,539
Wow.

386
00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:21,172
You know, I've thought a lot
about having kids.

387
00:13:21,173 --> 00:13:22,772
It's the next big step

388
00:13:22,773 --> 00:13:25,005
in this grand adventure
that we call life.

389
00:13:25,006 --> 00:13:26,104
Frankly, I don't think
you would be

390
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:27,205
the right man for the job.

391
00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:28,372
Well, frankly,

392
00:13:28,373 --> 00:13:29,471
I don't think
it's for you to decide.

393
00:13:29,472 --> 00:13:31,104
You know, if we had
a little girl,

394
00:13:31,105 --> 00:13:32,904
I would name her Elizabeth,
after my grandmother.

395
00:13:32,905 --> 00:13:36,004
She was this strong,
amazing woman.

396
00:13:36,005 --> 00:13:37,871
And if we had a boy,

397
00:13:37,872 --> 00:13:39,138
I don't know,
I'd name him something funny,

398
00:13:39,139 --> 00:13:41,038
like "Dick" or "O. J."

399
00:13:42,104 --> 00:13:43,670
Guess I have
a lot to consider.

400
00:13:43,671 --> 00:13:44,888
My God.

401
00:13:45,339 --> 00:13:48,371
I have driven Ann right
into the belly of the douche.

402
00:13:49,671 --> 00:13:51,169
- Hey, what's up?
- Oh, nothing.

403
00:13:51,170 --> 00:13:52,269
I was listening
to the radio

404
00:13:52,270 --> 00:13:53,468
on my way here,

405
00:13:53,469 --> 00:13:54,535
and I heard something
very interesting.

406
00:13:54,536 --> 00:13:56,401
So, Crazy Ira,

407
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:57,869
remember that chick Ann
I used to...

408
00:13:59,919 --> 00:14:01,852
Yeah, she was smoking hot!

409
00:14:03,354 --> 00:14:07,650
Turns out, she wants
to have my baby.

410
00:14:09,086 --> 00:14:10,617
Anyway, her lesbo friend
tells me

411
00:14:10,618 --> 00:14:12,884
she's on the prowl
for some baby beans...

412
00:14:14,252 --> 00:14:16,717
And it's down to me
and some other turd-munchers.

413
00:14:18,718 --> 00:14:20,850
Wow.
You should be angry.

414
00:14:20,851 --> 00:14:22,483
I can't believe
Howard did that to you.

415
00:14:22,484 --> 00:14:25,351
I can't believe
you did that to me.

416
00:14:25,352 --> 00:14:28,084
I am making
a very important life decision,

417
00:14:28,085 --> 00:14:29,649
and you betrayed me.

418
00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:31,050
Because I thought
you were making a huge mistake.

419
00:14:31,051 --> 00:14:32,284
Look, I get it.

420
00:14:32,285 --> 00:14:33,516
I know you're frustrated
with dating,

421
00:14:33,517 --> 00:14:35,084
and you think you're
not gonna meet someone,

422
00:14:35,085 --> 00:14:36,915
but two years ago,
I didn't think

423
00:14:36,916 --> 00:14:38,515
I would meet someone like Ben,
and I did.

424
00:14:38,516 --> 00:14:39,915
My idea of a perfect family

425
00:14:39,916 --> 00:14:42,283
does not require a soul mate.

426
00:14:42,284 --> 00:14:45,116
I want a baby, that's it,
accept it.

427
00:14:46,649 --> 00:14:48,216
Councilman Milton,
do we have a meeting?

428
00:14:48,217 --> 00:14:49,482
Oh, no, no, no.

429
00:14:49,483 --> 00:14:52,015
I just wanted to toss
my name into the ring,

430
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:55,345
in respect
to this Indian woman's vagina.

431
00:14:57,815 --> 00:14:59,948
Hey, how was the forum?

432
00:14:59,949 --> 00:15:01,747
Um, crappy.

433
00:15:01,748 --> 00:15:03,781
We only got four signatures.

434
00:15:03,782 --> 00:15:05,115
Two of them were me and Andy,

435
00:15:05,116 --> 00:15:07,448
and one of them
said "Farts McCool."

436
00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,981
I just don't know
how Leslie can be Leslie

437
00:15:09,982 --> 00:15:11,147
all the time.

438
00:15:11,148 --> 00:15:14,477
I was her for two hours
and I want to die.

439
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:15,913
Well, you know what?

440
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:17,347
We've got another forum today.

441
00:15:17,348 --> 00:15:19,447
Let's just hop back
in that saddle.

442
00:15:19,448 --> 00:15:21,380
What should I do?
Should I wear a blonde wig?

443
00:15:21,381 --> 00:15:22,447
Oh, my God, yes.

444
00:15:22,448 --> 00:15:24,946
- That would be so hot.
- Andy.

445
00:15:24,947 --> 00:15:26,479
If you think... if you...
do you think it would help?

446
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:28,745
I mean, if you think
it'd help you.

447
00:15:29,913 --> 00:15:31,779
Well, I'm feeling
so much better.

448
00:15:31,780 --> 00:15:34,812
Almost no weird stuff snuck out
of my body last night.

449
00:15:34,813 --> 00:15:36,545
And I feel like the emptiness
of my stomach

450
00:15:36,546 --> 00:15:38,246
is gonna lead
to a pretty epic breakfast.

451
00:15:38,247 --> 00:15:39,446
Guys, what do I do?

452
00:15:39,447 --> 00:15:41,245
My choice almost killed us,

453
00:15:41,246 --> 00:15:43,578
and we can't agree
on another one, so...

454
00:15:43,579 --> 00:15:45,145
Maybe there's
a catering company

455
00:15:45,146 --> 00:15:47,445
in Snerling
that we should look into.

456
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,145
No, it has to be
from Pawnee.

457
00:15:49,146 --> 00:15:50,245
I just know
that's what Leslie wants.

458
00:15:50,246 --> 00:15:51,245
I got it.

459
00:15:51,246 --> 00:15:52,578
This might sound crazy,

460
00:15:52,579 --> 00:15:55,711
but Jean-Ralphio has started
a catering company.

461
00:15:55,712 --> 00:15:57,144
He has?

462
00:15:57,145 --> 00:15:58,377
Now, granted,
he is currently

463
00:15:58,378 --> 00:15:59,710
standing trial
for counterfeiting Euros,

464
00:15:59,711 --> 00:16:01,978
but the trial's
gonna be over quick.

465
00:16:01,979 --> 00:16:03,211
He's definitely guilty.

466
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,542
Ugh, forget it.

467
00:16:04,543 --> 00:16:07,843
Dry toast
and half a grapefruit for Chris.

468
00:16:07,844 --> 00:16:08,943
Thank you.

469
00:16:08,944 --> 00:16:10,243
- Egg whites for Ben.
- Thank you.

470
00:16:10,244 --> 00:16:12,210
Egg whites for Tom,

471
00:16:12,211 --> 00:16:15,540
and pretty much
everything we make for Ron.

472
00:16:15,577 --> 00:16:16,809
And don't you go sneaking off.

473
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:19,443
I'm sending home
some free waffles for Leslie.

474
00:16:19,444 --> 00:16:21,875
Thanks, JJ.
You're the best.

475
00:16:24,309 --> 00:16:25,842
Okay, we're back.

476
00:16:25,843 --> 00:16:28,842
We, uh, got an update
on "Operation...

477
00:16:28,843 --> 00:16:30,241
Baby douche."

478
00:16:31,609 --> 00:16:34,939
All right, special guest
is Councilwoman Leslie Knope.

479
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:37,208
- How are you, les?
- "Me so horny."

480
00:16:37,209 --> 00:16:38,240
That was not me.

481
00:16:38,241 --> 00:16:39,307
That was
a farcical sound effect.

482
00:16:39,308 --> 00:16:40,807
Did she say "fartsicle"?

483
00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:45,407
The fartsicle.
Frozen farts you can eat.

484
00:16:45,408 --> 00:16:48,240
Put it in your face-mouth!

485
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:50,240
It's cold and it smells.

486
00:16:50,241 --> 00:16:51,974
God, how did you make that
so fast?

487
00:16:51,975 --> 00:16:53,673
Anyway, look, I am here

488
00:16:53,674 --> 00:16:54,773
because I want you
to stop talking

489
00:16:54,774 --> 00:16:56,606
about my friend's womb.

490
00:16:56,607 --> 00:16:58,107
Sorry, Councilwoman.
I'm in it to win it.

491
00:16:58,108 --> 00:16:59,539
The douche is gonna be
a daddy.

492
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:02,870
And Crazy Ira's gonna be
the creepy Uncle.

493
00:17:02,975 --> 00:17:04,406
Okay, all right.

494
00:17:04,407 --> 00:17:06,174
Look, she is
a wonderful person,

495
00:17:06,175 --> 00:17:07,473
and she does not
deserve this.

496
00:17:07,474 --> 00:17:08,572
So I need you to lay off.

497
00:17:08,573 --> 00:17:10,305
Okay, I will lay off

498
00:17:10,306 --> 00:17:13,636
if you can survive one round
with Breasty Bertha in...

499
00:17:14,940 --> 00:17:16,705
The Jell-o Pit!

500
00:17:16,706 --> 00:17:19,538
Rudy! Get in the Jell-o.

501
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,472
Okay, I am
a city councilwoman,

502
00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:22,572
so I am not gonna
Jell-o wrestle.

503
00:17:22,573 --> 00:17:23,772
I mean, this is fun.

504
00:17:23,773 --> 00:17:25,038
Don't you want
your constituents to know

505
00:17:25,039 --> 00:17:26,371
that you got a fun side?

506
00:17:26,372 --> 00:17:28,105
Yeah, show your fun sides.

507
00:17:28,106 --> 00:17:29,704
This is not about me
and my constituents!

508
00:17:29,705 --> 00:17:31,504
This is about you talking
about my friend.

509
00:17:31,505 --> 00:17:33,438
All right, I will stop talking
about your friend

510
00:17:33,439 --> 00:17:35,105
if you get in that Jell-o
for one second

511
00:17:35,106 --> 00:17:36,404
- and say, "Rudy."
- Rudy.

512
00:17:36,405 --> 00:17:38,371
- 'Cause The Cosby Show.
- Classic.

513
00:17:38,372 --> 00:17:39,671
Classic.

514
00:17:39,672 --> 00:17:41,337
Fine, I will stand there
for one second

515
00:17:41,338 --> 00:17:42,503
and say it,
and then we're done.

516
00:17:42,504 --> 00:17:43,870
- Fair's fair.
- Fair's fair.

517
00:17:43,871 --> 00:17:45,870
Somebody get me
a pudding pop.

518
00:17:45,871 --> 00:17:46,903
Oh!

519
00:17:46,904 --> 00:17:50,071
Yeah!

520
00:17:50,371 --> 00:17:51,203
Rudy.

521
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:52,403
There, happy?

522
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:55,734
No, say it like Bill Cosby.

523
00:17:55,838 --> 00:17:58,402
Rudy.

524
00:17:58,403 --> 00:18:00,235
- I don't know.
- Yeah!

525
00:18:00,236 --> 00:18:01,836
Oh, she's touching
her boobs now.

526
00:18:01,837 --> 00:18:03,635
No, I'm not.
I'm just standing here.

527
00:18:03,636 --> 00:18:06,003
And I am leaving, just like
you're gonna leave Ann alone.

528
00:18:07,736 --> 00:18:08,902
Oh, she's in there!

529
00:18:08,903 --> 00:18:10,070
She's into it now!

530
00:18:10,071 --> 00:18:11,635
Oh, Rudy has fallen
into the Jell-o.

531
00:18:12,869 --> 00:18:14,734
Theo, now there's Jell-o

532
00:18:14,735 --> 00:18:16,935
all over
my favorite sweater.

533
00:18:16,936 --> 00:18:18,201
And the gold medal

534
00:18:18,202 --> 00:18:21,168
goes to Leslie Knope!

535
00:18:21,169 --> 00:18:22,668
Okay, can you give me
that bag?

536
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,368
I have to go change
into my Leslie suit.

537
00:18:24,369 --> 00:18:26,268
You got it, babe.

538
00:18:26,269 --> 00:18:27,435
Thanks.

539
00:18:28,835 --> 00:18:30,101
Andy!

540
00:18:30,102 --> 00:18:31,767
- What?
- This is the wrong bag.

541
00:18:31,768 --> 00:18:33,001
What?

542
00:18:33,002 --> 00:18:34,034
This bag is full
of Fruit Roll-Ups

543
00:18:34,035 --> 00:18:35,167
and baseball cards.

544
00:18:35,168 --> 00:18:37,068
I don't have
my Leslie pantsuit

545
00:18:37,069 --> 00:18:38,934
or my Leslie headband
or my Leslie notes.

546
00:18:38,935 --> 00:18:41,133
I can't do this meeting
without my Leslie stuff.

547
00:18:41,134 --> 00:18:42,733
- Honey, I am so sorry.
- Andy!

548
00:18:42,734 --> 00:18:43,834
I guess
I must have screwed up.

549
00:18:43,835 --> 00:18:45,466
Look, you look amazing
in this outfit.

550
00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:48,067
Plus you're the smartest person
on the planet.

551
00:18:48,068 --> 00:18:49,666
I think you can do this
just being yourself.

552
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,067
Yeah, so how much money

553
00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:58,132
is this whole Pawnee Commons
project gonna cost me?

554
00:18:58,133 --> 00:18:59,433
Uh, good question.

555
00:18:59,434 --> 00:19:02,565
40% will be coming
from our corporate partners,

556
00:19:02,566 --> 00:19:04,498
- and another 30%...
- Excuse me, ma'am.

557
00:19:04,499 --> 00:19:06,165
I didn't ask
for a math lesson.

558
00:19:06,166 --> 00:19:08,631
So why don't you just tell me
how much it's gonna cost me?

559
00:19:08,632 --> 00:19:11,698
And don't use numbers.

560
00:19:11,699 --> 00:19:14,298
Look, you won't have
to pay any extra money, okay?

561
00:19:14,299 --> 00:19:16,130
And don't ever
call me "ma'am" again.

562
00:19:16,131 --> 00:19:18,164
Thanks.
Next question.

563
00:19:18,165 --> 00:19:20,797
Yeah, I wanted to talk more
about that topless park idea

564
00:19:20,798 --> 00:19:22,965
that a local hero
brought up yesterday.

565
00:19:22,966 --> 00:19:24,431
Yeah, there's not gonna be
a topless park, Harris.

566
00:19:24,432 --> 00:19:26,497
Nobody wants
your creepy stoner eyes

567
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,230
staring at them while
they're enjoying a park, okay?

568
00:19:28,231 --> 00:19:30,497
Stop being gross.

569
00:19:30,998 --> 00:19:32,330
Yeah.

570
00:19:32,331 --> 00:19:34,063
Shut me down!

571
00:19:34,064 --> 00:19:35,330
You scare me,

572
00:19:35,331 --> 00:19:38,229
and I gotta say,
I kinda dig that.

573
00:19:38,230 --> 00:19:39,496
What's your deal?

574
00:19:39,997 --> 00:19:41,830
She's married to me.

575
00:19:41,831 --> 00:19:43,696
I heard you on the radio.

576
00:19:43,697 --> 00:19:45,830
- Thanks for doing that.
- Got dicey.

577
00:19:45,831 --> 00:19:47,763
But they did invite me
to participate

578
00:19:47,764 --> 00:19:49,662
in their
topless Jell-o-lympics...

579
00:19:49,663 --> 00:19:51,996
- Oh.
- So that's something.

580
00:19:51,997 --> 00:19:54,996
It is possible
that you were right.

581
00:19:54,997 --> 00:19:58,195
This is obviously
a huge decision,

582
00:19:58,196 --> 00:20:00,395
and I should take my time.

583
00:20:00,396 --> 00:20:01,862
I want you
to be happy, you know?

584
00:20:01,863 --> 00:20:03,195
I-I guess I just didn't consider

585
00:20:03,196 --> 00:20:04,461
that you would take
a different path than I did.

586
00:20:04,462 --> 00:20:06,828
I tried
to impose my dream on you,

587
00:20:06,829 --> 00:20:08,127
and that's wrong.

588
00:20:08,128 --> 00:20:09,194
And I'm sorry.

589
00:20:09,195 --> 00:20:10,561
But I think you do need

590
00:20:10,562 --> 00:20:12,061
to take a little bit more time
with this decision.

591
00:20:12,062 --> 00:20:14,261
Maybe employ
a more methodical approach.

592
00:20:14,262 --> 00:20:17,592
One that involves
color-coded binders.

593
00:20:18,329 --> 00:20:20,026
Is that a drawing

594
00:20:20,027 --> 00:20:22,793
of my reproductive system
saying "Let's do this"?

595
00:20:22,794 --> 00:20:25,626
The Knope way involves
a lot of uterine cartoons.

596
00:20:25,627 --> 00:20:26,660
What can I tell you?

597
00:20:26,661 --> 00:20:28,560
Besides,
what is more cuter-us

598
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:29,961
than your uterus?

599
00:20:30,461 --> 00:20:32,060
- You ready, Ann?
- Yeah, I'm ready.

600
00:20:32,061 --> 00:20:33,626
- We're in it now.
- Yes, we are.

601
00:20:33,627 --> 00:20:34,760
Let's make a baby together.

602
00:20:35,260 --> 00:20:36,492
You should phrase that
differently.

603
00:20:36,493 --> 00:20:37,525
Right.

604
00:20:38,741 --> 00:20:40,486
Are you sure you're cool
with JJ's Diner

605
00:20:40,487 --> 00:20:42,052
catering what
you've referred to

606
00:20:42,053 --> 00:20:43,719
as "The wedding
of the millennium"?

607
00:20:43,970 --> 00:20:45,451
Are you kidding me?

608
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:48,050
I thought that I could not love
you any more than I already did.

609
00:20:48,051 --> 00:20:49,486
But I was dead wrong.

610
00:20:51,335 --> 00:20:54,665
- Is that smoke?
- Hmm?

611
00:20:55,151 --> 00:20:58,317
- Hey! What are you doing?
- Celebrating.

612
00:20:58,318 --> 00:21:00,983
We got 80 signatures
and, like, 30 complaints

613
00:21:00,984 --> 00:21:02,617
of excessive rudeness,
but who cares?

614
00:21:02,618 --> 00:21:04,283
Yeah, you should have
seen her, Leslie.

615
00:21:04,284 --> 00:21:07,116
She was awesome.
So smart, so hot, so mean.

616
00:21:07,117 --> 00:21:09,649
I wanted to bone her right there
in that dirty church basement.

617
00:21:09,650 --> 00:21:11,166
No, what are you doing?

618
00:21:11,167 --> 00:21:14,497
Uh, we are burning
this awful pantsuit.

619
00:21:14,501 --> 00:21:15,667
That's mine.

620
00:21:15,668 --> 00:21:16,999
I wanted that back.

621
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,198
Well, frankly,
you should have thought of that

622
00:21:19,199 --> 00:21:20,866
before we burned it.

623
00:21:21,365 --> 00:21:26,381
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com