1 00:00:00,580 --> 00:00:02,278 This is the best night ever. 2 00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:03,477 I wish we were getting married tonight. 3 00:00:04,677 --> 00:00:05,710 Let's just do it then. 4 00:00:05,711 --> 00:00:08,110 Leslie... 5 00:00:08,111 --> 00:00:09,509 Let's get married. 6 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:10,676 Tonight. 7 00:00:14,510 --> 00:00:16,343 - Are we really doing this? - I gue... 8 00:00:16,344 --> 00:00:17,576 Why not? 9 00:00:17,577 --> 00:00:19,076 The gala ends at 11:00. 10 00:00:19,077 --> 00:00:21,709 At 11:01, we get married. 11 00:00:21,710 --> 00:00:23,942 Okay... But, wait, my mom isn't here. 12 00:00:23,943 --> 00:00:25,809 - And your parents aren't here. - Good. 13 00:00:25,810 --> 00:00:27,109 Yeah, that makes it better. 14 00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,242 But we reserved a space for May 16th. 15 00:00:29,243 --> 00:00:31,842 And we just ordered 200 white-chocolate top hats. 16 00:00:31,843 --> 00:00:33,475 - We did? - You did, actually. 17 00:00:33,476 --> 00:00:34,641 It's under your name. 18 00:00:34,642 --> 00:00:37,041 Leslie, we can get married May 16th, 19 00:00:37,042 --> 00:00:38,075 or June 1st, 20 00:00:38,076 --> 00:00:39,608 or July 57th. 21 00:00:39,609 --> 00:00:41,975 But doesn't it feel right, today? 22 00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:43,308 Yeah, it does. 23 00:00:43,309 --> 00:00:45,408 Every time you say it, it just feels more right. 24 00:00:45,409 --> 00:00:46,574 Oh, my God, we're getting married tonight. 25 00:00:46,575 --> 00:00:47,741 - This is really great. - Yeah. 26 00:00:47,742 --> 00:00:48,908 You're either in or your out, buddy. 27 00:00:48,909 --> 00:00:50,840 Iit was my idea, I'm totally in. 28 00:00:50,841 --> 00:00:52,241 Wait, no. 29 00:00:52,242 --> 00:00:53,474 We can't... this is our wedding day. 30 00:00:53,475 --> 00:00:55,208 This is very bad luck, turn around. 31 00:00:55,209 --> 00:00:56,640 We can't look at each other! 32 00:00:56,641 --> 00:00:58,074 Well, you are aware that we've seen each other 33 00:00:58,075 --> 00:00:59,174 several times today. 34 00:00:59,175 --> 00:01:00,308 We have two hours to do this. 35 00:01:00,309 --> 00:01:01,740 I want you to get everyone together, 36 00:01:01,741 --> 00:01:03,640 and meet me at Ann's house in ten minutes. 37 00:01:03,641 --> 00:01:05,407 Okay. Oh, wait, before we get married, 38 00:01:05,408 --> 00:01:06,672 there is something we need to discuss. 39 00:01:06,673 --> 00:01:07,939 I mean, we've never talked about it, 40 00:01:07,940 --> 00:01:11,006 but I really want you to take my last name. 41 00:01:11,007 --> 00:01:12,506 Oh! Oh. 42 00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:14,140 Okay. Really? 43 00:01:14,141 --> 00:01:15,672 Yeah, it's just really important to me, 44 00:01:15,673 --> 00:01:16,672 symbolically, 45 00:01:16,673 --> 00:01:18,839 that Leslie Knope disappears 46 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,307 and becomes Leslie Wyatt. 47 00:01:20,308 --> 00:01:22,206 Or Councilwoman Mrs. Ben Wyatt. 48 00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:23,272 That's fine too. 49 00:01:23,273 --> 00:01:26,602 It's a deal breaker. 50 00:01:26,806 --> 00:01:28,139 Wait, are you messing with me? 51 00:01:28,140 --> 00:01:29,239 Sorry, I had to give it a shot. 52 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,605 Ben, now go, run! Okay, okay. 53 00:01:31,606 --> 00:01:32,805 Wait. Where do I go? 54 00:01:32,806 --> 00:01:33,972 Run! 55 00:01:36,973 --> 00:01:42,301 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com 56 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:55,337 The falcon is entering! 57 00:01:55,338 --> 00:01:56,570 The turtledove acknowledges! 58 00:01:56,571 --> 00:01:58,503 Hey, where are you? I'm-I'm here. 59 00:01:58,504 --> 00:02:00,536 Okay, let's go over the duties right now. 60 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:01,536 Ann, you're in charge of the dress 61 00:02:01,537 --> 00:02:02,536 and the hair and the makeup. 62 00:02:02,537 --> 00:02:03,769 And I was thinking, like, 63 00:02:03,770 --> 00:02:05,536 the sensuality of Eleanor Roosevelt 64 00:02:05,537 --> 00:02:07,736 combined with the animal magnetism of Lesley Stahl. 65 00:02:07,737 --> 00:02:08,970 Piece of cake. 66 00:02:08,971 --> 00:02:10,036 Oh, we have to get the wedding cake. 67 00:02:10,037 --> 00:02:11,035 I'll do that too. 68 00:02:11,036 --> 00:02:13,069 I'm perfectly calm. 69 00:02:13,070 --> 00:02:15,702 I feel like every crazy thing Leslie's ever had me do 70 00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:16,902 has been, like a drill, 71 00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:18,469 and today is the real thing. 72 00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:20,002 I'm ready, because I had 73 00:02:20,003 --> 00:02:21,335 the greatest teacher in the world. 74 00:02:21,336 --> 00:02:22,368 Leslie. 75 00:02:22,369 --> 00:02:24,002 Who is crazy. 76 00:02:24,003 --> 00:02:26,334 Also, we need rings and marriage licenses. 77 00:02:26,335 --> 00:02:28,068 Oh, let me be on rings. I love what they symbolize. 78 00:02:28,069 --> 00:02:30,001 - Great. - And I can do the license. 79 00:02:30,002 --> 00:02:31,001 I got a guy that works at City Hall. 80 00:02:31,002 --> 00:02:32,701 That guy's my wife. 81 00:02:32,702 --> 00:02:34,534 - Um, you also work there. - Oh, yeah. 82 00:02:34,535 --> 00:02:36,901 Ron, I'm gonna need you to walk me down the aisle. 83 00:02:36,902 --> 00:02:38,634 It would be an honor, and the first time 84 00:02:38,635 --> 00:02:41,168 I won't regret walking down the aisle. 85 00:02:41,169 --> 00:02:42,401 Oh, uh, yikes. 86 00:02:42,402 --> 00:02:44,500 - We need an officiant. - I got this. 87 00:02:44,501 --> 00:02:45,801 You can become an ordained minister online 88 00:02:45,802 --> 00:02:46,968 in, like, five minutes. 89 00:02:46,969 --> 00:02:49,567 Do you want more like a Steve Harvey vibe 90 00:02:49,568 --> 00:02:50,701 or straight-up Seacrest? 91 00:02:50,702 --> 00:02:51,834 Nuh! Never mind. 92 00:02:51,835 --> 00:02:53,701 I'll combine 'em... Steve-crest. 93 00:02:53,702 --> 00:02:55,500 Okay, and, um, Jerry and Donna, I need you guys 94 00:02:55,501 --> 00:02:57,433 to just make sure that the gala runs smoothly. 95 00:02:57,434 --> 00:02:59,332 Let's say that we're all gonna meet back here in an hour. 96 00:02:59,333 --> 00:03:01,700 I love all of you. One, two, three, break! 97 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,067 Excuse me. 98 00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:05,900 We're looking for a couple wedding rings. 99 00:03:05,901 --> 00:03:07,000 You're gonna wanna look through 100 00:03:07,001 --> 00:03:08,166 the jewelry and nails tray. 101 00:03:08,167 --> 00:03:09,365 There is some beautiful jewelry in here. 102 00:03:09,366 --> 00:03:10,833 But be careful. 103 00:03:10,834 --> 00:03:13,466 There's also nails. 104 00:03:13,467 --> 00:03:16,066 Oh! Oh, these aren't bad. 105 00:03:16,067 --> 00:03:17,298 Those are real nice. 106 00:03:17,299 --> 00:03:18,364 And they were nipple rings, at one point. 107 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,298 How do you know that? 108 00:03:21,299 --> 00:03:22,298 - Mm. - They were yours. 109 00:03:22,299 --> 00:03:23,398 They were his. 110 00:03:23,399 --> 00:03:24,398 Let's go. 111 00:03:24,399 --> 00:03:25,732 Hey, it's pretty crazy, 112 00:03:25,733 --> 00:03:26,899 I'm gonna be a cop tomorrow. 113 00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:28,066 I guess I better commit 114 00:03:28,067 --> 00:03:29,165 as many crimes as possible tonight. 115 00:03:29,166 --> 00:03:30,465 Get it out of my system. 116 00:03:30,466 --> 00:03:32,165 Ooh, found the marriage licenses. 117 00:03:32,166 --> 00:03:34,232 And I am going to take all of them. 118 00:03:34,233 --> 00:03:35,731 I don't want anyone else in this town to get married, 119 00:03:35,732 --> 00:03:37,199 because it makes it less special for us. 120 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,199 Good call, babe. 121 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:41,132 - Let's roll. - Okay. 122 00:03:42,999 --> 00:03:44,199 I'm good! 123 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:45,664 It's not finished. 124 00:03:45,665 --> 00:03:47,164 Why didn't the seamstress finish it? 125 00:03:47,165 --> 00:03:48,797 If you're not gonna finish something three months early, 126 00:03:48,798 --> 00:03:49,997 then don't accept the job. 127 00:03:49,998 --> 00:03:51,330 There's got to be something we can do. 128 00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:52,363 This wedding is meant to be. 129 00:03:52,364 --> 00:03:53,697 We're gonna figure it out. 130 00:03:53,698 --> 00:03:56,198 Now how did Cinderella finish her dress so fast? 131 00:03:56,199 --> 00:03:57,697 - Squirrels and birds. - Mm. 132 00:03:57,698 --> 00:03:59,164 - That's not very helpful. - No. 133 00:03:59,165 --> 00:04:00,198 - Hey, we got it! - We got it. 134 00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:01,497 Marriage license... done. 135 00:04:01,498 --> 00:04:02,763 Wait a minute, hold on. 136 00:04:02,764 --> 00:04:03,796 It needs to be signed by somebody 137 00:04:03,797 --> 00:04:04,796 at the City Clerk's Office. 138 00:04:04,797 --> 00:04:06,063 I'll just forge it. 139 00:04:06,064 --> 00:04:07,563 I forge government documents all the time. 140 00:04:07,564 --> 00:04:08,796 - That's true. - Boom. 141 00:04:08,797 --> 00:04:10,130 No. 142 00:04:10,131 --> 00:04:11,829 - Hey. - Hey. 143 00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:13,996 So we didn't find any rings. 144 00:04:13,997 --> 00:04:15,829 Yeah, we're having a few roadblocks here. 145 00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:17,329 Kind of feels like this thing is falling apart. 146 00:04:17,330 --> 00:04:18,662 Don't panic. 147 00:04:18,663 --> 00:04:19,728 I swear there's some rings 148 00:04:19,729 --> 00:04:21,395 in this old box of stuff my mom gave me. 149 00:04:21,396 --> 00:04:23,328 Still here at April and Andy's house. 150 00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:24,628 Want to come help me look? 151 00:04:24,629 --> 00:04:25,995 Okay, Ann, dress duty. 152 00:04:25,996 --> 00:04:26,995 April and Andy, license duty. 153 00:04:26,996 --> 00:04:28,195 No time for verbs. 154 00:04:28,196 --> 00:04:29,562 I know you're in a rush, Leslie. 155 00:04:29,563 --> 00:04:32,395 I should point out that you said "duty" twice. 156 00:04:32,396 --> 00:04:33,895 Okay. 157 00:04:33,896 --> 00:04:36,860 Aw, shucks, business is a-boomin'. 158 00:04:36,861 --> 00:04:38,227 Indiana celebrity look-alikes. 159 00:04:38,228 --> 00:04:40,227 I mean, this is a brilliant idea, Donna. 160 00:04:40,228 --> 00:04:41,427 All my favorites are here. 161 00:04:41,428 --> 00:04:44,227 We got Orville Redenbacher, La Toya Jackson, 162 00:04:44,228 --> 00:04:45,961 Axl Rose, David Letterman. 163 00:04:45,962 --> 00:04:47,727 Look, don't tell anyone, 164 00:04:47,728 --> 00:04:49,961 but I booked a special surprise. 165 00:04:49,962 --> 00:04:52,993 There's a Li'l Sebastian look-alike on the way... what? 166 00:04:52,994 --> 00:04:56,160 What? Oh, my G... 167 00:04:56,161 --> 00:04:57,493 Oh! Oh. 168 00:04:58,827 --> 00:05:00,359 Did you just pee your pants? 169 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:02,560 Just a dab. 170 00:05:02,561 --> 00:05:03,693 I better go clean up. 171 00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:05,493 You nasty, Jerry. 172 00:05:06,561 --> 00:05:08,292 Third time this week. 173 00:05:08,293 --> 00:05:10,459 - Oh, what the hell! - What's wrong? 174 00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:11,992 "Your Minister Certification will be emailed to you 175 00:05:11,993 --> 00:05:13,625 in 24 hours." 176 00:05:13,626 --> 00:05:15,025 Uhh! But this is America. 177 00:05:15,026 --> 00:05:16,292 I want it now! 178 00:05:16,293 --> 00:05:18,126 Sorry, Tom, that's what happens. 179 00:05:18,127 --> 00:05:19,959 I had all these great bits written for the wedding too. 180 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,126 I was gonna beatbox. 181 00:05:21,127 --> 00:05:22,425 There's a dance breakdown. 182 00:05:22,426 --> 00:05:24,991 I'm talking, like, six guaranteed applause breaks. 183 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:27,724 Uh, you know, I am actually ordained. 184 00:05:27,725 --> 00:05:29,524 I could do the wedding. 185 00:05:29,525 --> 00:05:31,058 That's the worst idea I've ever heard. 186 00:05:31,059 --> 00:05:32,823 Yeah, you're right, okay. 187 00:05:32,824 --> 00:05:35,356 Wait! What if you do the ceremony, 188 00:05:35,357 --> 00:05:37,690 but you don't have any stupid ideas of your own, 189 00:05:37,691 --> 00:05:40,023 and you just say the stuff that I came up with? 190 00:05:40,024 --> 00:05:41,390 Anything to help Leslie. 191 00:05:41,391 --> 00:05:42,490 Perfect. 192 00:05:42,491 --> 00:05:43,557 Now shut up and start memorizing. 193 00:05:43,558 --> 00:05:46,223 We open with Will Smith's monologue 194 00:05:46,224 --> 00:05:48,355 from the modern cinematic classic... 195 00:05:48,356 --> 00:05:49,855 Hitch. 196 00:05:49,856 --> 00:05:50,956 Turtledove? 197 00:05:50,957 --> 00:05:52,056 Falcon? 198 00:05:52,057 --> 00:05:53,622 - Turtledove. - Falcon? 199 00:05:53,623 --> 00:05:54,622 - Turtledove. - There's your butt. 200 00:05:54,623 --> 00:05:55,622 Hey. 201 00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:56,855 Did you find the rings? 202 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,722 No rings, just a tennis bracelet 203 00:05:58,723 --> 00:06:01,122 and a necklace that says "Wine Chick." 204 00:06:01,123 --> 00:06:03,822 No rings, no license, no dress. 205 00:06:03,823 --> 00:06:05,321 This idea felt so right, 206 00:06:05,322 --> 00:06:06,822 but maybe it's just too crazy. 207 00:06:06,823 --> 00:06:08,755 Maybe it wasn't meant to be. 208 00:06:08,756 --> 00:06:10,221 Hey, it's snowing. 209 00:06:11,322 --> 00:06:12,989 - It's him. - What? 210 00:06:12,990 --> 00:06:15,488 Who? I can't see. 211 00:06:15,489 --> 00:06:17,188 I don't understand, this is impossible. 212 00:06:17,189 --> 00:06:20,519 Wh... 213 00:06:21,022 --> 00:06:22,554 Whoa. 214 00:06:22,555 --> 00:06:23,554 Li'l Sebastian? 215 00:06:23,555 --> 00:06:25,320 No, no, sorry. 216 00:06:25,321 --> 00:06:26,821 Actually, this is Bucky. 217 00:06:26,822 --> 00:06:30,120 He's a, uh, licensed Li'l Sebastian impersonator. 218 00:06:30,121 --> 00:06:31,454 We're headed to the gala, 219 00:06:31,455 --> 00:06:33,353 so folks can pose for pictures with him. 220 00:06:33,354 --> 00:06:34,688 200 a pop, if you're interested. 221 00:06:34,689 --> 00:06:36,119 Quiet, you. 222 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,453 This is Li'l Sebastian, and this is a sign. 223 00:06:38,454 --> 00:06:40,020 We're gonna do this. 224 00:06:40,021 --> 00:06:41,987 We are gonna pull this wedding off. 225 00:06:41,988 --> 00:06:43,987 - Come on, Bucky. - Li'l Sebastian. 226 00:06:44,287 --> 00:06:45,720 Yes, ma'am. 227 00:06:48,535 --> 00:06:50,200 Oh my God, we're running out of time. Ann, please, 228 00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:52,666 tell me that you have sewn a new dress from scratch. 229 00:06:52,667 --> 00:06:54,332 Or several dresses, 'cause I would love some options. 230 00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:56,199 I have an idea, and it might be insane, 231 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,397 but I've been watching a lot Project Runway recently... 232 00:06:58,398 --> 00:06:59,497 In the past eight years. 233 00:06:59,498 --> 00:07:01,063 Okay, great, so I trust you, 234 00:07:01,064 --> 00:07:02,364 and make it work. 235 00:07:02,365 --> 00:07:03,731 No time to do the Tim Gunn voice. 236 00:07:03,732 --> 00:07:05,130 Wait, what am I talking about? There's always time. 237 00:07:05,131 --> 00:07:06,731 Designers, make it work. 238 00:07:06,732 --> 00:07:08,464 Ann, you have less than an hour. 239 00:07:13,964 --> 00:07:15,930 Miss Beavers, this is official police business. 240 00:07:15,931 --> 00:07:17,029 I hope we didn't wake you up. 241 00:07:17,030 --> 00:07:19,162 It's after 10:00. 242 00:07:19,163 --> 00:07:21,263 I've been asleep for four hours. 243 00:07:21,264 --> 00:07:22,296 What do you want? 244 00:07:22,297 --> 00:07:23,530 We need you to sign this. 245 00:07:23,531 --> 00:07:25,330 It's a marriage license. 246 00:07:25,331 --> 00:07:27,263 Ethel? Is it robbers? 247 00:07:27,264 --> 00:07:28,697 No, go back to bed. 248 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,395 Aww, is that your husband? 249 00:07:30,396 --> 00:07:31,462 I'm not married. 250 00:07:31,463 --> 00:07:32,895 I was on a date tonight. 251 00:07:32,896 --> 00:07:34,862 It went well, he's sleeping over. 252 00:07:35,862 --> 00:07:36,962 Cool. 253 00:07:36,963 --> 00:07:38,362 It'd really mean a lot if you sign it. 254 00:07:38,363 --> 00:07:39,995 It's for Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt. 255 00:07:39,996 --> 00:07:41,495 I think you know them? 256 00:07:41,496 --> 00:07:43,696 They dragged me out in the freezing cold once, 257 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,761 so they could tell each other "I love you." 258 00:07:45,762 --> 00:07:46,794 It was annoying. 259 00:07:46,795 --> 00:07:48,494 Oh, thank you so much! 260 00:07:48,495 --> 00:07:51,027 You have got an amazing house and a really cool nightgown 261 00:07:51,028 --> 00:07:52,361 and seem to be super good at dating. 262 00:07:52,362 --> 00:07:54,328 Yeah, so can we adopt you as our grandma? 263 00:07:54,329 --> 00:07:56,127 - Fine. - Cool! 264 00:07:56,128 --> 00:07:58,528 We love you, Grandma! 265 00:07:58,529 --> 00:08:00,461 I guess we could go to a pharmacy, 266 00:08:00,462 --> 00:08:03,159 but I really don't want to use like a cheap plastic ring. 267 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:04,960 I hate to say this, but Ann Perkins 268 00:08:04,961 --> 00:08:06,992 has terrible taste in rings. 269 00:08:06,993 --> 00:08:08,093 What... what is this? 270 00:08:08,094 --> 00:08:11,059 It's a toe ring with a brown gemstone? 271 00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:13,159 Is this a ruby that's gone bad? 272 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,393 I am out of ideas. 273 00:08:15,393 --> 00:08:16,059 Jewelry store. 274 00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:18,559 No, that's closed, that's why we're doing this. 275 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:19,991 Perhaps I can be of service. 276 00:08:19,992 --> 00:08:21,326 How? 277 00:08:21,577 --> 00:08:22,943 How much do you think Ann would miss this sconce? 278 00:08:22,944 --> 00:08:24,075 Oh, I don't know. 279 00:08:24,076 --> 00:08:25,809 It's part of her house. 280 00:08:27,109 --> 00:08:29,108 Well, okay. 281 00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:32,108 "When I heard Ben was getting married, I was like, 282 00:08:32,109 --> 00:08:34,608 'to Leslie or to Game of Thrones'?" 283 00:08:34,609 --> 00:08:36,808 Ugh, horrible delivery. 284 00:08:36,809 --> 00:08:39,207 "You ever heard Leslie talk about Ben's butt? 285 00:08:39,208 --> 00:08:41,575 "I'm all like, 'damn, girl, 286 00:08:41,576 --> 00:08:44,040 you mad sweet on that back meat.'" 287 00:08:44,041 --> 00:08:45,107 You're murdering my beautiful words! 288 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,475 Do you even want to kill at this wedding? 289 00:08:46,476 --> 00:08:48,307 I just want Leslie and Ben to have a nice night. 290 00:08:48,308 --> 00:08:50,841 - I'm sorry. I... - No, no. 291 00:08:50,842 --> 00:08:51,940 It's my fault for believing in you. 292 00:08:51,941 --> 00:08:53,039 Well, look, 293 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:54,373 um, to be official, 294 00:08:54,374 --> 00:08:56,106 I just have to do the vows and the pronouncement. 295 00:08:56,107 --> 00:08:57,640 So why don't you handle the speech, 296 00:08:57,641 --> 00:08:59,707 and then I'll just come in at the end? 297 00:08:59,708 --> 00:09:01,774 Well, I'm not crazy about the part 298 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,540 where you do something. 299 00:09:03,541 --> 00:09:06,840 But, I do like the idea me doing something. 300 00:09:06,841 --> 00:09:08,372 Let's give it a shot. 301 00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:10,138 Hello, everyone. 302 00:09:10,139 --> 00:09:11,272 Got some bad news. 303 00:09:11,273 --> 00:09:13,138 The gala ends at 11:00. 304 00:09:13,139 --> 00:09:14,706 The good news is, 305 00:09:14,707 --> 00:09:18,036 at 11:01, we'll be holding a special wedding ceremony. 306 00:09:18,674 --> 00:09:20,238 Everyone is invited to stay. 307 00:09:20,239 --> 00:09:23,472 All the drinks and the food will be on us. 308 00:09:26,806 --> 00:09:28,404 Hey, everything going okay? 309 00:09:28,405 --> 00:09:29,738 Everything would be peachy 310 00:09:29,739 --> 00:09:31,705 if it weren't for that dumb-ass with a megaphone. 311 00:09:31,706 --> 00:09:34,037 No one wants a park here. 312 00:09:34,038 --> 00:09:36,472 Parks are stu-pid. 313 00:09:36,473 --> 00:09:38,571 Hey, butter-teeth, what's up? 314 00:09:38,572 --> 00:09:39,771 I can fix those chompers for you. 315 00:09:39,772 --> 00:09:41,804 Just come to Jamm Orthodontics. 316 00:09:41,805 --> 00:09:43,504 Councilman Jamm, what are you doing here? 317 00:09:43,505 --> 00:09:46,835 What are you doing here? Parks are stu-pid. 318 00:09:47,137 --> 00:09:48,403 Hey, enough. 319 00:09:48,404 --> 00:09:49,537 You better give me back that megaphone. 320 00:09:49,538 --> 00:09:51,136 That belongs to my aunt. 321 00:09:51,137 --> 00:09:52,903 Why don't I call you a cab? 322 00:09:52,904 --> 00:09:55,069 Mm. No, this isn't over, Knope. 323 00:09:55,070 --> 00:09:57,302 It is over. I won fair and square. 324 00:09:57,303 --> 00:09:58,570 And, in a half an hour, 325 00:09:58,571 --> 00:10:00,636 I am getting married over there 326 00:10:00,637 --> 00:10:02,269 to the most perfect man in the world. 327 00:10:02,270 --> 00:10:03,536 And all my dreams are coming true. 328 00:10:03,537 --> 00:10:05,369 Knope rules, Jamm sucks. 329 00:10:05,370 --> 00:10:07,035 Knope rules, Jamm sucks. 330 00:10:07,036 --> 00:10:09,269 Knope rules, Ja... Councilman Howser. 331 00:10:09,270 --> 00:10:12,034 Leslie. Jeremy. 332 00:10:12,035 --> 00:10:15,101 You better make sure my aunt gets her megaphone back. 333 00:10:15,102 --> 00:10:17,535 Okay, did I... did I do it right? 334 00:10:17,536 --> 00:10:18,836 - How's it look? - Terrible. 335 00:10:18,837 --> 00:10:20,735 And perfect. 336 00:10:20,736 --> 00:10:24,065 I promised myself I was not going to cry tonight. 337 00:10:24,102 --> 00:10:26,601 And I have already broken that promise five times. 338 00:10:26,602 --> 00:10:29,900 But I will not... break it a sixth. 339 00:10:29,901 --> 00:10:31,801 Go ahead and let it out, buddy. 340 00:10:31,802 --> 00:10:33,768 It's okay. 341 00:10:33,769 --> 00:10:36,768 - I have something for you. - All right. 342 00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:39,400 It is the letter from the statehouse... 343 00:10:39,401 --> 00:10:41,866 Telling us that we have been assigned to Pawnee. 344 00:10:41,867 --> 00:10:43,433 Dated may 1st, 2010. 345 00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:44,600 No way. 346 00:10:44,601 --> 00:10:46,399 We were supposed to be here eight weeks. 347 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,966 I'm so happy that those eight weeks 348 00:10:48,967 --> 00:10:50,567 turned into three years, 349 00:10:50,568 --> 00:10:52,866 and that you met Leslie, 350 00:10:52,867 --> 00:10:56,197 and that we both found a home. 351 00:10:56,534 --> 00:10:59,065 Damn it, you're transferring your crying thing over to me. 352 00:10:59,066 --> 00:11:00,699 It's okay, buddy, let it out. 353 00:11:01,899 --> 00:11:04,365 I gathered up all the meaningful bills, 354 00:11:04,366 --> 00:11:07,696 pictures, documents, and memos from your career. 355 00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:09,432 What do you think? Is it okay? 356 00:11:09,433 --> 00:11:11,566 It is the most beautiful object I have ever seen. 357 00:11:11,567 --> 00:11:14,197 It is like the Ann Perkins of dresses. 358 00:11:14,198 --> 00:11:15,631 Yay. 359 00:11:15,632 --> 00:11:17,297 It is amazing. 360 00:11:17,298 --> 00:11:18,297 All set. 361 00:11:18,298 --> 00:11:20,565 Leslie, wow! 362 00:11:20,566 --> 00:11:21,731 You look amazing. Right? 363 00:11:21,732 --> 00:11:23,864 - Oh, my God! - What? 364 00:11:23,865 --> 00:11:25,397 I'm not supposed to see you before the wedding. 365 00:11:25,398 --> 00:11:26,531 - No, that's the groom - I ruined it! 366 00:11:26,532 --> 00:11:27,765 Andy, that's the groom. 367 00:11:27,766 --> 00:11:29,796 Well, I saw him too. 368 00:11:29,797 --> 00:11:31,396 I'm just gonna cover my eyes, just to be safe. 369 00:11:31,397 --> 00:11:33,363 Okay, so we're ready out there. 370 00:11:33,364 --> 00:11:35,464 For your wedding or whatever. 371 00:11:35,465 --> 00:11:37,330 Oh, my God, the license, the rings, 372 00:11:37,331 --> 00:11:38,697 the officiant, everything? 373 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:39,796 Yes, it all came together. 374 00:11:39,797 --> 00:11:42,029 Let's go. 375 00:11:52,029 --> 00:11:53,862 Boo, boo. 376 00:11:53,863 --> 00:11:55,463 Boo, Leslie Knope, boo. 377 00:12:04,295 --> 00:12:05,294 Boo! 378 00:12:05,295 --> 00:12:07,194 Dude, what are you doing? 379 00:12:07,195 --> 00:12:08,261 I'm being awesome. 380 00:12:08,262 --> 00:12:10,227 Boo, boo, Leslie, boo. 381 00:12:10,228 --> 00:12:12,261 My friend, I don't think you understand 382 00:12:12,262 --> 00:12:13,562 what a bad idea this is. 383 00:12:13,563 --> 00:12:15,027 I don't think you understand 384 00:12:15,028 --> 00:12:17,261 that I would have got a cut of that new Paunch Burger 385 00:12:17,262 --> 00:12:19,527 if she hadn't screwed everything up. 386 00:12:19,528 --> 00:12:20,893 So sorry, guys! 387 00:12:20,894 --> 00:12:22,427 This wedding is canceled, 388 00:12:22,428 --> 00:12:23,893 'cause the bride is a b-hole. 389 00:12:23,894 --> 00:12:26,126 - Hey! - Check this out. 390 00:12:26,127 --> 00:12:28,193 Stink bomb! Who knows what that does? 391 00:12:28,194 --> 00:12:29,260 Oh! 392 00:12:30,761 --> 00:12:32,293 Stink bomb? Are you joking? 393 00:12:32,294 --> 00:12:33,560 Oh, my God! 394 00:12:33,561 --> 00:12:35,359 Where did you even get a stink bomb? 395 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,092 Amazon, baby, that's how. 396 00:12:37,093 --> 00:12:39,926 You are looking at a prime customer, everybody. 397 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,259 Two days free shipping for this guy. 398 00:12:42,260 --> 00:12:44,892 Let's get this party started with another one, gang! 399 00:12:44,893 --> 00:12:46,725 No! 400 00:12:46,726 --> 00:12:48,259 It's terrible! 401 00:12:48,260 --> 00:12:49,792 Jerry, you do the wedding. Who cares? 402 00:12:49,793 --> 00:12:51,691 Come on, man, just go home. 403 00:12:51,692 --> 00:12:53,125 And who's gonna make me? 404 00:12:53,126 --> 00:12:55,292 It's your wedding day. 405 00:12:55,293 --> 00:12:57,358 I'll handle this. 406 00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:58,925 Here comes the bride. 407 00:12:58,926 --> 00:13:00,258 - Time to go, sir. - No. 408 00:13:00,259 --> 00:13:02,525 Hey, get off me, what the hell, man? 409 00:13:02,526 --> 00:13:04,592 - Don't you touch me. - Oh. 410 00:13:04,593 --> 00:13:06,492 I'll give you that one. 411 00:13:06,493 --> 00:13:09,358 - But if you do it again... - If I do what again? 412 00:13:09,359 --> 00:13:10,925 What, kick your ass? Is that what you like? 413 00:13:10,926 --> 00:13:12,591 You want me to just pound... 414 00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:13,890 Ooh! 415 00:13:13,891 --> 00:13:15,123 Ow. 416 00:13:15,923 --> 00:13:18,454 Yay, best wedding ever. 417 00:13:23,188 --> 00:13:24,488 Ow. 418 00:13:25,785 --> 00:13:26,985 You broke my tooth. 419 00:13:26,986 --> 00:13:28,885 Well, good thing you're an orthodontist. 420 00:13:28,886 --> 00:13:30,152 Yeah, it is a good thing. 421 00:13:30,153 --> 00:13:31,784 You see my house? 422 00:13:31,785 --> 00:13:33,751 - Five bathrooms. - Great. 423 00:13:33,752 --> 00:13:36,251 - I'm sorry, Leslie. - For what? 424 00:13:36,252 --> 00:13:38,251 I've never presented a bride on her wedding day, 425 00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:40,884 so I'm not 100% sure of the duties involved, 426 00:13:40,885 --> 00:13:42,451 but I don't think you're supposed to punch a man 427 00:13:42,452 --> 00:13:44,117 in the mouth during the service. 428 00:13:44,118 --> 00:13:46,251 I think that's exactly what you're supposed to do, 429 00:13:46,252 --> 00:13:48,584 if that mouth is attached to a drunk jerk-face. 430 00:13:48,585 --> 00:13:50,816 Well, please, don't worry about me. 431 00:13:50,817 --> 00:13:53,317 - Just go and get married. - No. 432 00:13:53,318 --> 00:13:55,150 - Leslie. - Ron. 433 00:13:55,151 --> 00:13:56,550 Listen to me very carefully. 434 00:13:56,551 --> 00:13:58,416 I lost my father when I was ten, 435 00:13:58,417 --> 00:13:59,983 I don't have any brothers, 436 00:13:59,984 --> 00:14:02,250 and Ken Burns never wrote me back. 437 00:14:02,251 --> 00:14:04,516 So I am not getting married without you there 438 00:14:04,517 --> 00:14:06,316 to walk me down the aisle. 439 00:14:06,317 --> 00:14:09,149 End of discussion. 440 00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:12,982 Better get used to this, honey. 441 00:14:12,983 --> 00:14:14,915 Gonna be a lot of late nights for me here. 442 00:14:14,916 --> 00:14:16,449 Graveyard shift. 443 00:14:16,450 --> 00:14:18,614 You coming to bring me coffee while I interrogate murderers. 444 00:14:18,615 --> 00:14:19,915 You've had all night 445 00:14:19,916 --> 00:14:21,316 to get something out of him, Dwyer, 446 00:14:21,317 --> 00:14:22,981 - we gotta let him go. - Come on, Captain. 447 00:14:22,982 --> 00:14:24,647 I'm this close to getting a confession. 448 00:14:24,648 --> 00:14:25,780 You're never gonna break him, Dwyer. 449 00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:26,881 He's a psychopath. 450 00:14:26,882 --> 00:14:28,081 He chopped off both of his arms, 451 00:14:28,082 --> 00:14:29,647 so he wouldn't leave any fingerprints. 452 00:14:29,648 --> 00:14:30,780 Oh, he did? 453 00:14:30,781 --> 00:14:32,081 Well, how did he murder the person? 454 00:14:32,082 --> 00:14:33,348 - I don't know. - Hey, Chief Fugleberg. 455 00:14:33,349 --> 00:14:35,381 It's me, Andy Dwyer, pre-reporting for duty. 456 00:14:35,382 --> 00:14:37,248 Listen, about my new partner. 457 00:14:37,249 --> 00:14:38,980 Is it a dog? 458 00:14:38,981 --> 00:14:42,311 Oh, has Chris Traeger not told you? 459 00:14:43,414 --> 00:14:44,612 Told me what? 460 00:14:44,613 --> 00:14:47,280 Hey, Ron, we posted bail. 461 00:14:47,281 --> 00:14:49,280 - You're free to go. - Wait a minute, what? 462 00:14:49,281 --> 00:14:50,646 He punched me in the teeth. 463 00:14:50,647 --> 00:14:51,847 This is an outrage. 464 00:14:51,848 --> 00:14:52,847 I think we have a pretty clear picture 465 00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:53,912 of what went down. 466 00:14:53,913 --> 00:14:56,379 Sleep it off in the cell, Councilman. 467 00:14:56,380 --> 00:14:58,012 Leslie, I'm so sorry. 468 00:14:58,013 --> 00:14:59,313 I think we missed it. 469 00:14:59,314 --> 00:15:01,446 The gala's over, they're taking it all down. 470 00:15:01,447 --> 00:15:02,846 Yeah, it's okay. 471 00:15:02,847 --> 00:15:04,645 I mean, I guess it just wasn't meant to be, after all. 472 00:15:04,646 --> 00:15:06,246 We'll get married in May like we planned. 473 00:15:06,247 --> 00:15:07,479 You know what? 474 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,512 I have some champagne, back at the office. 475 00:15:09,513 --> 00:15:11,178 Let's go back there, have a drink, 476 00:15:11,179 --> 00:15:12,411 toast to Pawnee Commons. 477 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,278 Fun. That's a good idea. 478 00:15:14,279 --> 00:15:16,178 It'll be good, 'cause I actually have some work 479 00:15:16,179 --> 00:15:17,544 I need to get started on. 480 00:15:18,645 --> 00:15:20,610 I got five bathrooms. 481 00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:23,445 I love the first floor of City Hall 482 00:15:23,446 --> 00:15:25,145 at night. 483 00:15:25,146 --> 00:15:27,410 When all the fluorescents are half-off. 484 00:15:27,810 --> 00:15:30,740 Just makes the informational fliers look so beautiful. 485 00:15:30,911 --> 00:15:33,944 I've never willingly been here later than 5:04 p.m. 486 00:15:33,945 --> 00:15:35,643 Before we go inside, 487 00:15:35,644 --> 00:15:38,609 I'd like to say something. 488 00:15:39,410 --> 00:15:41,743 You are a wonderful person. 489 00:15:41,744 --> 00:15:44,709 Your friendship means a lot to me. 490 00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:46,943 And you look very beautiful. 491 00:15:47,444 --> 00:15:49,343 Okay, weirdo. 492 00:15:49,344 --> 00:15:52,343 Let's go. 493 00:15:54,377 --> 00:15:55,742 Hoo, boy. 494 00:16:08,376 --> 00:16:09,674 All set? 495 00:16:09,675 --> 00:16:11,275 Mmhmm 496 00:16:11,775 --> 00:16:14,441 Jerry, everything I wrote is wrong. 497 00:16:14,442 --> 00:16:16,341 There's, like, 20 minutes of Hitch quotes 498 00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:17,974 before I even say Leslie's name. 499 00:16:17,975 --> 00:16:19,374 What do I do? 500 00:16:19,375 --> 00:16:20,441 You know what, Tom? 501 00:16:20,442 --> 00:16:21,974 Just speak from the heart, okay? 502 00:16:21,975 --> 00:16:25,041 You'll do great. 503 00:16:25,042 --> 00:16:26,773 We are gathered here tonight 504 00:16:26,774 --> 00:16:31,103 to join Leslie Knope and Benjamin Wyatt in marriage. 505 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:35,373 It's been a long and winding road for these two lovebirds. 506 00:16:35,374 --> 00:16:38,539 And they're so impatient to begin their lives together 507 00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,973 they've moved their wedding date up three months. 508 00:16:40,974 --> 00:16:43,706 So I say, let's keep it short and sweet. 509 00:16:43,707 --> 00:16:45,605 Yes, just do it already. 510 00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:50,435 I assume, and hope, you prepared your own vows? 511 00:16:50,872 --> 00:16:53,702 Ben, you want to say some stuff about Leslie? 512 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:56,771 In my time working for the state government, 513 00:16:56,772 --> 00:17:00,039 my job sent me to 46 cities 514 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,671 in 11 years. 515 00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:05,002 I lived in villages with eight people, 516 00:17:05,139 --> 00:17:08,404 rural farming communities, college towns. 517 00:17:08,405 --> 00:17:11,404 I was sent to every corner of Indiana. 518 00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:13,071 And then I came here. 519 00:17:13,072 --> 00:17:16,402 And I realized that, this whole time, 520 00:17:16,638 --> 00:17:20,467 I was just wandering around, everywhere, 521 00:17:21,503 --> 00:17:24,334 just looking for you. 522 00:17:25,470 --> 00:17:27,903 Leslie, do you want to say some stuff about Ben now? 523 00:17:27,904 --> 00:17:30,970 Okay, well, the first draft of my vows, 524 00:17:30,971 --> 00:17:32,970 which I wrote the day after we got engaged, 525 00:17:32,971 --> 00:17:34,702 clocked in at around 70 pages. 526 00:17:36,070 --> 00:17:38,203 But I don't have them with me today. 527 00:17:39,602 --> 00:17:41,069 Although maybe there's a copy of them in my office. 528 00:17:41,569 --> 00:17:42,435 No. 529 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:43,501 That's fine, that's fine. 530 00:17:43,502 --> 00:17:45,102 - I think we can just keep going. - Okay. 531 00:17:46,237 --> 00:17:48,468 Here's what I'll say, then. 532 00:17:48,469 --> 00:17:49,935 The things that you have done for me, 533 00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:53,266 to help me, support me, 534 00:17:53,303 --> 00:17:56,632 surprise me, to make me happy, 535 00:17:57,136 --> 00:18:00,465 go above and beyond what any person deserves. 536 00:18:01,302 --> 00:18:03,434 You're all I need. 537 00:18:03,435 --> 00:18:05,701 I love you and I like you. 538 00:18:05,702 --> 00:18:08,633 I love you and I like you. 539 00:18:08,634 --> 00:18:10,134 And now, with the power vested in me 540 00:18:10,135 --> 00:18:11,666 by the state of Indiana, 541 00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:14,366 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 542 00:18:14,367 --> 00:18:16,267 You may now kiss the... 543 00:18:16,268 --> 00:18:17,301 well, oops, okay. 544 00:18:17,302 --> 00:18:18,800 - Yay! - Whoo! 545 00:18:20,868 --> 00:18:23,799 Lagavulin all around? 546 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,133 Don't bother answering. 547 00:18:25,134 --> 00:18:26,565 I am already pouring. 548 00:18:26,566 --> 00:18:29,432 - You don't have to drink yours. - Thank you. 549 00:18:30,233 --> 00:18:32,432 Just this once, 550 00:18:32,433 --> 00:18:34,066 I thought I nailed something. 551 00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:36,266 Well, I'm still proud of you. 552 00:18:36,267 --> 00:18:39,032 You worked hard and you got really close. 553 00:18:39,033 --> 00:18:41,865 Close only counts in horse grenades. 554 00:18:41,866 --> 00:18:43,397 - What? - It's a saying. 555 00:18:43,398 --> 00:18:44,597 Because if you're playing horseshoes, 556 00:18:44,598 --> 00:18:45,798 and then you throw a grenade at a horse, 557 00:18:45,799 --> 00:18:47,364 it doesn't have to be that close, 558 00:18:47,365 --> 00:18:48,798 and you can still blow the horse's legs off. 559 00:18:48,799 --> 00:18:50,464 It's from the movie Seabiscuit. 560 00:18:50,465 --> 00:18:52,199 How's it going in here? 561 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,529 Good. I was just telling Andy that I'm proud of him. 562 00:18:55,597 --> 00:18:56,630 Oh. 563 00:18:56,631 --> 00:18:58,298 And I was just explaining to April 564 00:18:58,299 --> 00:18:59,363 that I'm a failure, 565 00:18:59,364 --> 00:19:01,596 and she should leave me for Orin. 566 00:19:01,597 --> 00:19:04,927 Andy, this is a very important moment for you. 567 00:19:05,698 --> 00:19:09,028 How we deal with tragedy defines who we are. 568 00:19:09,597 --> 00:19:11,297 I used to be terrible at it. 569 00:19:11,298 --> 00:19:13,362 Beyond terrible. 570 00:19:13,363 --> 00:19:16,693 You are not going to let this deflate you. 571 00:19:17,064 --> 00:19:18,996 You are going to pick yourself up, 572 00:19:18,997 --> 00:19:20,462 dust yourself off, 573 00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:23,793 and we will figure out what the next step is. 574 00:19:26,263 --> 00:19:29,592 Chris can be very... Paternal. 575 00:19:30,595 --> 00:19:32,229 I look around this room. 576 00:19:32,230 --> 00:19:34,062 If it weren't for Leslie Knope, 577 00:19:34,462 --> 00:19:35,628 none of us would be here. 578 00:19:36,129 --> 00:19:37,528 So, Leslie, this song, 579 00:19:37,979 --> 00:19:40,078 which is for Li'l Sebastian, 580 00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,511 is for you. 581 00:20:19,726 --> 00:20:20,892 There were a lot of signs 582 00:20:20,893 --> 00:20:22,390 that Ben and I should get married tonight. 583 00:20:22,391 --> 00:20:23,791 But, truth be told, 584 00:20:23,792 --> 00:20:25,891 we just really wanted to get married. 585 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,058 When you're in love, 586 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,891 everything seems like a sign. 587 00:20:28,892 --> 00:20:30,791 I love my husband. 588 00:20:30,792 --> 00:20:32,192 I love my job. 589 00:20:32,193 --> 00:20:33,958 And I love my friends. 590 00:20:33,959 --> 00:20:37,288 Even though they really can't handle their booze. 591 00:20:37,558 --> 00:20:39,924 Hey, we should just go, right? 592 00:20:41,590 --> 00:20:43,690 Careful. 593 00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:53,648 It's not rocket science. 594 00:20:54,248 --> 00:20:56,295 I removed the sconce... 595 00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:58,461 Fired up my grandfather's torch, 596 00:20:58,462 --> 00:21:00,729 heated up the pieces in a cast-iron bucket. 597 00:21:01,229 --> 00:21:02,694 Liquefied the metal. 598 00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:04,162 Pour it into a mold. 599 00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:07,492 Obviously keep it over a low flame to achieve a nice temper. 600 00:21:07,595 --> 00:21:09,561 Cooled it in antifreeze. 601 00:21:09,562 --> 00:21:12,395 And just forged and shaped the rings. 602 00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:15,028 Any moron with a crucible, an acetylene torch, 603 00:21:15,029 --> 00:21:17,727 and a cast-iron waffle maker could have done the same. 604 00:21:17,728 --> 00:21:20,128 Whole thing only took me about 20 minutes. 605 00:21:20,129 --> 00:21:22,560 People who buy things are suckers. 606 00:21:23,062 --> 00:21:27,297 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com