1
00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:04,267
- "Senior sex-ed thank you notes."
- Oh, don't open that.

2
00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:05,328
There's pictures in there.

3
00:00:05,363 --> 00:00:06,857
Oh! There are pictures.

4
00:00:06,892 --> 00:00:08,352
There are lots of pictures.

5
00:00:08,647 --> 00:00:12,296
Why would you not throw these
away or incinerate them?

6
00:00:12,332 --> 00:00:14,311
Because every memory deserves
to be chronicled.

7
00:00:14,330 --> 00:00:15,771
Even the saggy ones.

8
00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:18,153
I am putting together
a scrapbook commemorating

9
00:00:18,188 --> 00:00:19,838
my first year
on the city council.

10
00:00:19,857 --> 00:00:21,333
This year whizzed by so fast.

11
00:00:21,368 --> 00:00:23,348
There was so much
more I wanted to do.

12
00:00:23,384 --> 00:00:25,938
But time is the relentless
and cruel enemy

13
00:00:25,973 --> 00:00:28,354
of the devoted civil servant.

14
00:00:28,389 --> 00:00:32,959
It's actually one of
the sub-titles of my scrapbook.

15
00:00:32,994 --> 00:00:34,366
Probably would've got
more stuff done

16
00:00:34,403 --> 00:00:35,513
if I hadn't spent
so much time

17
00:00:35,550 --> 00:00:37,356
brainstorming scrapbook titles.

18
00:00:37,391 --> 00:00:39,128
Ben and Leslie's day off.

19
00:00:39,146 --> 00:00:40,276
Let's go relax.

20
00:00:40,311 --> 00:00:42,257
I cannot wait for our day off.

21
00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:45,089
But what if we took
a day on

22
00:00:45,125 --> 00:00:47,609
and stayed here
and worked on some projects?

23
00:00:47,644 --> 00:00:49,504
- That sounds pretty sexy, right?
- No.

24
00:00:49,557 --> 00:00:53,101
Leslie, you've worked nonstop.
Holidays and weekends.

25
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:54,734
You're just gonna take
a day off.

26
00:00:54,770 --> 00:00:57,393
- It'll be good for you.
- All right. You're cute.

27
00:00:57,429 --> 00:00:58,470
- And you're right.
- Come on.

28
00:00:58,489 --> 00:00:59,495
- Let's relax.
- All right.

29
00:00:59,532 --> 00:01:01,060
Hey, April.

30
00:01:01,079 --> 00:01:03,597
I'll be gone for
the next 191/2 hours,

31
00:01:03,633 --> 00:01:05,613
so can you water my plants
in my office?

32
00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:07,489
We are all out of water,
actually.

33
00:01:07,508 --> 00:01:09,037
I'll have to use
boiling hot milk.

34
00:01:09,090 --> 00:01:10,653
- Are you really gonna do that?
- Yes.

35
00:01:10,689 --> 00:01:14,355
Well, everybody.
Um, wow.

36
00:01:14,390 --> 00:01:17,465
It has been an honor
and a pleasure

37
00:01:17,501 --> 00:01:18,682
to work with you all.

38
00:01:18,717 --> 00:01:20,489
The time I have spent
at Parks and Rec

39
00:01:20,525 --> 00:01:22,122
have been the happiest days

40
00:01:22,159 --> 00:01:23,913
of my life here
in the government.

41
00:01:23,948 --> 00:01:26,728
And I know everyone says it,
but I sincerely hope

42
00:01:26,764 --> 00:01:29,839
that we stay in touch.

43
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,436
What the
is happening right now?

44
00:01:33,471 --> 00:01:35,956
Today's my last day, Leslie.

45
00:01:35,991 --> 00:01:36,946
I'm retiring.

46
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,980
What?
Why didn't you tell us?

47
00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:40,926
Well, I didn't want to make
a big fuss.

48
00:01:40,944 --> 00:01:44,002
Although, gosh, I'm pretty sure
I mentioned it a few times.

49
00:01:44,038 --> 00:01:46,001
Oh, God, they're gonna
fire people, aren't they?

50
00:01:46,019 --> 00:01:47,826
Yeah, I am two years
from my pension.

51
00:01:47,861 --> 00:01:48,938
Can you believe it?

52
00:01:48,973 --> 00:01:51,422
Only six months left
until I retire.

53
00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:52,379
Ooh.

54
00:01:52,414 --> 00:01:54,186
What did Jerry say?

55
00:01:54,221 --> 00:01:55,385
Jerry was here?

56
00:01:55,420 --> 00:01:58,217
Well, this is my last weep.
Oops.

57
00:01:58,254 --> 00:02:00,755
I mean, "weep."
Week.

58
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,161
Jeez.

59
00:02:04,197 --> 00:02:05,882
Wait, wait, wait.

60
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,897
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Just wait.

61
00:02:07,916 --> 00:02:09,253
Everybody wait. Okay.

62
00:02:09,271 --> 00:02:10,365
As much as we want this
to happen,

63
00:02:10,401 --> 00:02:11,808
we can't let Jerry
just disappear.

64
00:02:11,843 --> 00:02:14,154
We have to commemorate
this somehow.

65
00:02:14,189 --> 00:02:15,648
You're right.

66
00:02:15,684 --> 00:02:17,768
Jerry, thank you
for your service.

67
00:02:18,326 --> 00:02:19,750
Good-bye.

68
00:02:19,785 --> 00:02:22,930
Thanks, Ron.
That speech means a lot.

69
00:02:22,966 --> 00:02:25,519
Okay, well, I am going to go
and say good-bye

70
00:02:25,555 --> 00:02:28,473
to some other folks.

71
00:02:28,510 --> 00:02:29,718
Okay, see you tomorrow,
Jerry.

72
00:02:32,871 --> 00:02:38,017
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com

73
00:02:51,310 --> 00:02:55,654
So we ran all your tests,
and everything looks great.

74
00:02:55,689 --> 00:02:59,182
You might be the healthiest
human being we've ever seen.

75
00:02:59,217 --> 00:03:01,892
You have the resting heart rate
of a 100-year-old tortoise.

76
00:03:01,929 --> 00:03:03,143
Yes, I get that a lot.

77
00:03:03,180 --> 00:03:04,986
So my childhood illness...

78
00:03:05,021 --> 00:03:06,445
there's no chance
I would pass that on?

79
00:03:06,482 --> 00:03:09,279
It wasn't genetic,
so you shouldn't worry at all.

80
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:12,303
You have every reason
to expect a healthy child.

81
00:03:12,338 --> 00:03:14,770
In fact, if you'd like, you
can provide your sample today.

82
00:03:14,806 --> 00:03:16,734
Today?

83
00:03:16,769 --> 00:03:18,141
Like, today, today?

84
00:03:18,177 --> 00:03:19,514
- This today?
- Well, yes.

85
00:03:19,550 --> 00:03:20,731
I mean, the timing is right

86
00:03:20,766 --> 00:03:22,052
according
to Ann's ovulation schedule.

87
00:03:22,087 --> 00:03:23,581
Unless there's a reason

88
00:03:23,616 --> 00:03:24,884
you'd like to wait
till next month.

89
00:03:26,466 --> 00:03:27,960
No.

90
00:03:28,013 --> 00:03:29,315
None.

91
00:03:29,369 --> 00:03:30,602
One other question.

92
00:03:30,637 --> 00:03:31,870
Completely off topic.

93
00:03:31,906 --> 00:03:36,059
Would I be providing
this sample... today?

94
00:03:36,094 --> 00:03:38,717
Here I am thinking about
how fast

95
00:03:38,736 --> 00:03:40,907
my first year in city council
has gone,

96
00:03:40,943 --> 00:03:43,931
and Jerry has had 40 years
whiz past him

97
00:03:43,950 --> 00:03:45,286
with nothing to show for it.

98
00:03:45,321 --> 00:03:47,007
This is everything
in his file...

99
00:03:47,042 --> 00:03:49,405
a handicapped parking sticker
from when he got gout,

100
00:03:49,441 --> 00:03:51,786
a Parks and Rec golf cart
driving exam

101
00:03:51,821 --> 00:03:53,419
which he failed,

102
00:03:53,456 --> 00:03:55,418
a scathing performance review.

103
00:03:55,454 --> 00:03:57,590
I mean, why would
anyone be so mean?

104
00:03:57,609 --> 00:03:59,381
Oh, wait. I wrote this.

105
00:03:59,416 --> 00:04:00,788
I stand by it.

106
00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:02,323
Well, Jerry was never really
the type

107
00:04:02,336 --> 00:04:06,193
to rise above mediocrity
or to it.

108
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,775
That's what I thought,
but when he started,

109
00:04:07,810 --> 00:04:09,686
he had a lot of dreams
and goals.

110
00:04:09,721 --> 00:04:12,206
I mean, look at
his original entry paperwork.

111
00:04:12,241 --> 00:04:13,875
He wanted to meet the mayor,

112
00:04:13,910 --> 00:04:16,359
have a building
named after him.

113
00:04:16,395 --> 00:04:17,750
I just can't let Jerry
leave here with nothing

114
00:04:17,768 --> 00:04:19,279
and go home to an empty life.

115
00:04:19,314 --> 00:04:20,686
Well, I'll help with anything.

116
00:04:20,739 --> 00:04:22,233
Just promise
we'll do it quickly.

117
00:04:22,269 --> 00:04:24,388
I'm making us
a mac and cheese pizza for...

118
00:04:24,423 --> 00:04:26,073
- Mac and cheese pizza?
- Yeah.

119
00:04:26,110 --> 00:04:27,204
- You're making that?
- Yeah.

120
00:04:30,193 --> 00:04:33,320
Torturing Jerry was my
favorite thing in the world.

121
00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,023
After making out with you.

122
00:04:35,060 --> 00:04:37,421
Remember when we did both
at the same time?

123
00:04:37,458 --> 00:04:39,368
It made him
so uncomfortable.

124
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,028
This is a sad day.

125
00:04:42,063 --> 00:04:43,122
Who are we gonna
make fun of now?

126
00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,095
No need to worry.

127
00:04:44,131 --> 00:04:45,659
Every place I've ever worked in

128
00:04:45,695 --> 00:04:46,685
has had a "Jerry."

129
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:47,762
When one Jerry leaves,

130
00:04:47,797 --> 00:04:50,247
the office naturally selects

131
00:04:50,283 --> 00:04:51,829
a new Jerry to fill that role.

132
00:04:51,882 --> 00:04:53,288
It's Social Darwinism.

133
00:04:53,325 --> 00:04:54,783
The strong prey
on the weak.

134
00:04:54,818 --> 00:04:59,006
Soon, one of you will be
ridiculed mercilessly.

135
00:04:59,042 --> 00:05:00,848
Ah, nature.

136
00:05:03,664 --> 00:05:05,506
Okay.
My transfer was approved.

137
00:05:05,541 --> 00:05:07,452
So starting now,
I am an employee

138
00:05:07,488 --> 00:05:08,564
of the County Health Board.

139
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:09,919
You are no longer my boss,

140
00:05:09,955 --> 00:05:11,050
and we can have a baby

141
00:05:11,085 --> 00:05:12,196
without being a conflict
of interest.

142
00:05:12,232 --> 00:05:13,500
Clear sailing.

143
00:05:13,518 --> 00:05:15,707
Goodbye, Ann Perkins,
my excellent employee.

144
00:05:15,742 --> 00:05:18,261
Hello, Ann Perkins,
my fallopian princess.

145
00:05:18,297 --> 00:05:20,434
So here's the drill.

146
00:05:20,469 --> 00:05:21,633
Make a deposit in here.

147
00:05:21,652 --> 00:05:22,658
If you fill it
up all the way,

148
00:05:22,694 --> 00:05:24,239
you get on the board.

149
00:05:24,276 --> 00:05:26,985
Then we take the sample,
spin it in the centrifuge,

150
00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:28,706
and prepare it
for fertilization.

151
00:05:28,741 --> 00:05:30,669
Sounds romantic.

152
00:05:30,706 --> 00:05:32,146
I guess it's go time.

153
00:05:32,183 --> 00:05:33,885
Go time!

154
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,866
Wait, what am I doing?
I don't go with you.

155
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,221
Oh, no, no.
I go in alone

156
00:05:37,257 --> 00:05:40,089
with this pornographic disc
and do it myself.

157
00:05:40,125 --> 00:05:41,479
And you stay out here

158
00:05:41,514 --> 00:05:42,591
and try not to think about
what I'm doing in there.

159
00:05:42,627 --> 00:05:43,547
And I try not to think

160
00:05:43,583 --> 00:05:44,763
about you waiting out here

161
00:05:44,816 --> 00:05:45,858
trying not to think about me.

162
00:05:45,893 --> 00:05:48,083
Should I think about you?

163
00:05:48,118 --> 00:05:49,768
This is so weird.

164
00:05:49,805 --> 00:05:51,559
Chris, we don't have
to do this today.

165
00:05:51,594 --> 00:05:53,575
This was totally
just sprung on us.

166
00:05:53,610 --> 00:05:56,025
Let's just take a moment.

167
00:05:56,061 --> 00:05:58,476
There's so many pamphlets
to look at.

168
00:05:58,511 --> 00:05:59,622
Yes, we do have

169
00:05:59,658 --> 00:06:02,264
very important
pamphlet reading to do.

170
00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:04,662
Excellent idea, Ann Perkins.

171
00:06:05,427 --> 00:06:06,487
Do I keep this?

172
00:06:06,522 --> 00:06:08,885
I don't know.
It feels wrong to leave it here.

173
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:12,204
Give it to me.

174
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,245
I panicked. Run!

175
00:06:17,054 --> 00:06:23,048
Here are the last
of the Animal Control reports.

176
00:06:23,084 --> 00:06:24,508
What are you doing, weirdo?

177
00:06:24,544 --> 00:06:27,566
Just trying not
to spill anything.

178
00:06:27,603 --> 00:06:29,773
I believe Leslie said
to organize these by year.

179
00:06:29,810 --> 00:06:31,146
Way ahead of you.

180
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,867
I made two pile files.

181
00:06:34,693 --> 00:06:38,063
Pilo fibles. Ugh.
Filo pilos.

182
00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:39,888
Filo pilos?
That's not right.

183
00:06:39,923 --> 00:06:42,582
- Are you broken?
- No, everything's fine.

184
00:06:42,617 --> 00:06:45,710
Well, I guess that settles
who the new Jerry is.

185
00:06:45,745 --> 00:06:47,917
No, it doesn't!
I barely even said it wrong.

186
00:06:47,970 --> 00:06:49,603
- Said it wrong.
- Stop it!

187
00:06:51,046 --> 00:06:53,946
This is how it begins.

188
00:06:53,965 --> 00:06:55,529
The next "Jerry."

189
00:06:55,564 --> 00:06:58,135
One screwed-up sentence,
and 30 years later,

190
00:06:58,171 --> 00:06:59,786
I'm wearing
aquamarine sweater vests

191
00:06:59,822 --> 00:07:01,819
and listening to
Bonnie Raitt

192
00:07:01,872 --> 00:07:03,384
and The da Vinci Code
on my iPod.

193
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:09,692
It's already started.

194
00:07:11,085 --> 00:07:13,375
Believe it or not, Jerry,
you were young once.

195
00:07:13,376 --> 00:07:14,819
Young and full of dreams.

196
00:07:14,870 --> 00:07:17,111
I forgot I wrote all this.

197
00:07:17,147 --> 00:07:19,614
And as unrealistic
and absurd as those goals were,

198
00:07:19,650 --> 00:07:22,308
we are not letting you retire
until we help you achieve them.

199
00:07:23,281 --> 00:07:25,279
So let's see what's first.

200
00:07:25,315 --> 00:07:27,191
"Eat in city council
private dining room."

201
00:07:27,244 --> 00:07:28,425
That we can achieve.

202
00:07:28,460 --> 00:07:29,415
Right now?

203
00:07:29,451 --> 00:07:30,702
Sure. Let's go.

204
00:07:30,737 --> 00:07:32,369
Authorized personnel only.

205
00:07:32,406 --> 00:07:33,794
Oh, they're with me.

206
00:07:33,847 --> 00:07:37,184
City Councilor Leslie Knope,
clearance level four.

207
00:07:37,219 --> 00:07:39,147
Guests are only allowed
on Wednesdays.

208
00:07:39,183 --> 00:07:41,302
And we don't have
clearance levels.

209
00:07:41,338 --> 00:07:42,554
I know, but shouldn't we?

210
00:07:42,607 --> 00:07:43,961
I mean, it sounds so cool.

211
00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:46,238
Anyway, we just need to get
in there real quick

212
00:07:46,273 --> 00:07:47,611
and maybe take a picture.

213
00:07:47,646 --> 00:07:49,470
He's retiring
as a city hall employee

214
00:07:49,523 --> 00:07:51,208
after 41 years,

215
00:07:51,243 --> 00:07:52,997
and it was his dream
to eat here.

216
00:07:53,034 --> 00:07:55,135
His dream? Really?

217
00:07:55,171 --> 00:07:57,030
- Still no.
- It's okay, Leslie. Come on.

218
00:07:57,065 --> 00:07:58,194
But thank you.
Thank you for trying.

219
00:07:58,247 --> 00:07:59,636
No, no, no, no, no.
I promised you

220
00:07:59,671 --> 00:08:01,739
an executive meal
and you're gonna get one.

221
00:08:01,775 --> 00:08:04,033
Ben, just... okay.

222
00:08:04,069 --> 00:08:06,136
I'm gonna go in there
and take a picture with Jerry.

223
00:08:06,171 --> 00:08:07,717
I put my arm around nothing.

224
00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:11,332
And then you Photoshop him
in later, okay?

225
00:08:13,783 --> 00:08:15,746
Congratulations
on your retirement.

226
00:08:15,782 --> 00:08:18,301
Aw, thank you.

227
00:08:18,597 --> 00:08:21,845
One, three, seven, two, five,
nine.

228
00:08:21,882 --> 00:08:23,062
Pffft!

229
00:08:23,115 --> 00:08:25,079
Sudoku is easy.

230
00:08:25,132 --> 00:08:27,129
Is there even rules
to this game?

231
00:08:27,165 --> 00:08:30,031
There's a natural successor
to Jerry's sad, smelly crown.

232
00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:33,125
And it's not me.
It's Andy.

233
00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:34,602
Big guy? Check.

234
00:08:34,637 --> 00:08:36,495
Goofy? Check.

235
00:08:36,514 --> 00:08:38,765
All I have to do is wait
for a textbook Dwyer screw-up,

236
00:08:38,791 --> 00:08:41,744
which usually happens, mm,
every 20 minutes.

237
00:08:41,780 --> 00:08:44,178
Hey, if it isn't Filo Pilo.

238
00:08:44,213 --> 00:08:45,497
Oh, real creative, Donna.

239
00:08:45,534 --> 00:08:47,010
You expect that to catch on?

240
00:08:47,045 --> 00:08:48,539
Babe, the pen.

241
00:08:49,895 --> 00:08:52,119
Look at Andy.
There's ink all over him.

242
00:08:52,155 --> 00:08:53,162
Andy's the new Jerry.

243
00:08:53,215 --> 00:08:54,517
Game over.

244
00:08:54,553 --> 00:08:55,594
Awesome.

245
00:08:55,631 --> 00:08:56,846
Hey, I'm like a giant squid.

246
00:08:56,882 --> 00:08:59,627
- Hey, honey, I'm ink Dracula.
- No, stop.

247
00:08:59,662 --> 00:09:01,400
Squid Dracula
is going to get you.

248
00:09:03,885 --> 00:09:05,483
Barking up the wrong tree,
Filo.

249
00:09:05,519 --> 00:09:06,665
What do you mean?

250
00:09:06,701 --> 00:09:08,455
Andy will never
be the new Jerry.

251
00:09:08,491 --> 00:09:09,810
Nothing embarrasses him.

252
00:09:09,846 --> 00:09:11,739
He's like a giant puppy
with no shame.

253
00:09:11,775 --> 00:09:14,903
What you need is some fresh meat
in the office.

254
00:09:14,938 --> 00:09:16,362
Or you guys could just stop
making fun of me.

255
00:09:16,397 --> 00:09:19,542
Yeah. No.

256
00:09:19,595 --> 00:09:22,236
Okay,
on to the next Jerry goal...

257
00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:24,095
meet Mayor Knudson.

258
00:09:24,132 --> 00:09:27,137
Oh, yeah.
He was the mayor at the time.

259
00:09:27,172 --> 00:09:29,153
I've always wanted
to meet him.

260
00:09:29,188 --> 00:09:31,603
Well, today you're getting
that chance.

261
00:09:32,681 --> 00:09:33,776
So was he like

262
00:09:33,811 --> 00:09:36,504
- a really great mayor?
- No, not really.

263
00:09:36,539 --> 00:09:38,781
He resigned because of
corruption and racketeering,

264
00:09:38,816 --> 00:09:40,918
and then he died
from an overdose of pills.

265
00:09:40,954 --> 00:09:42,464
But actually his real
cause of death

266
00:09:42,501 --> 00:09:44,602
was being thrown out of
a helicopter while handcuffed.

267
00:09:44,638 --> 00:09:46,392
Some people say
he's still alive

268
00:09:46,428 --> 00:09:47,973
because they never found
the body,

269
00:09:48,009 --> 00:09:51,136
but they never found the body
because he exploded on impact.

270
00:09:51,172 --> 00:09:52,805
- Sounds like a good dude.
- Yeah.

271
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,804
I just wish I had a chance
to meet him,

272
00:09:54,839 --> 00:09:58,905
you know, years ago before all
the scandals and his death.

273
00:09:58,940 --> 00:10:00,452
But this is nice too.

274
00:10:00,505 --> 00:10:01,425
- Yeah.
- Is it?

275
00:10:01,460 --> 00:10:02,676
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.

276
00:10:02,712 --> 00:10:03,648
It is.

277
00:10:03,685 --> 00:10:04,743
Okay, go over there.

278
00:10:04,762 --> 00:10:06,672
Let's meet Mayor Knudson.

279
00:10:06,709 --> 00:10:07,855
I'll take your picture.

280
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:09,818
Butterflies.

281
00:10:09,854 --> 00:10:11,800
Hello, Mr. Mayor.

282
00:10:11,835 --> 00:10:12,998
First of all, I'm so sorry

283
00:10:13,034 --> 00:10:14,458
that those Serbian mobsters
shoved you

284
00:10:14,494 --> 00:10:15,501
out of that helicopter.

285
00:10:15,537 --> 00:10:16,891
You deserve better.

286
00:10:16,927 --> 00:10:19,046
Okay, you tried,
but I took a day off

287
00:10:19,082 --> 00:10:21,288
to spend with you,
not with you and Jerry

288
00:10:21,323 --> 00:10:23,043
and a dead mayor.

289
00:10:23,079 --> 00:10:24,608
Can we please
just call it a day?

290
00:10:24,643 --> 00:10:26,710
No, we can't because
in a few short years,

291
00:10:26,745 --> 00:10:28,257
we're gonna be visiting
Jerry here,

292
00:10:28,292 --> 00:10:29,668
and he will have achieved
nothing.

293
00:10:29,701 --> 00:10:30,672
Is that what you want?

294
00:10:30,708 --> 00:10:32,758
- No.
- Okay, then.

295
00:10:32,777 --> 00:10:34,479
It's really been nice
to meet you.

296
00:10:34,532 --> 00:10:36,129
- Okay, Jerry, let's go.
- Ooh.

297
00:10:36,147 --> 00:10:38,476
Ronfire of the vanities.

298
00:10:38,511 --> 00:10:39,918
Filo Pilo.

299
00:10:39,954 --> 00:10:40,961
Are you kidding me?

300
00:10:40,996 --> 00:10:43,167
Listen, now that Jerry's gone,

301
00:10:43,204 --> 00:10:44,576
we need to hire someone
to pick up the slack.

302
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,313
A new person in the office?

303
00:10:46,332 --> 00:10:48,520
Not a person.
An intern.

304
00:10:48,556 --> 00:10:50,866
Why on earth
would I get an intern?

305
00:10:50,902 --> 00:10:53,856
Interns cost nothing
to the taxpayer.

306
00:10:53,891 --> 00:10:55,229
And more importantly,

307
00:10:55,282 --> 00:10:56,584
they're usually
stupid and terrible.

308
00:10:56,619 --> 00:10:57,887
So they get no work done.

309
00:10:57,922 --> 00:10:59,208
It's like a Jerry
you don't have to pay.

310
00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:02,040
Damn, son.
That is one compelling argument.

311
00:11:02,077 --> 00:11:03,431
Keep it up, Filo.

312
00:11:03,466 --> 00:11:07,359
We may destroy this government
one day after all.

313
00:11:08,123 --> 00:11:10,678
These pamphlets
are fascinating.

314
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:13,180
It says here that some men
gain "sympathy weight"

315
00:11:13,216 --> 00:11:14,448
when their partners
get pregnant.

316
00:11:14,485 --> 00:11:16,430
If that happens to me,
I'd be miserable.

317
00:11:16,466 --> 00:11:17,508
But happy.

318
00:11:17,561 --> 00:11:18,515
But sad.

319
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:20,410
I would have never imagined

320
00:11:20,445 --> 00:11:24,007
the baby-making process
to be this clinical.

321
00:11:24,043 --> 00:11:26,092
I mean, imagine if actual sex
were like this.

322
00:11:26,129 --> 00:11:27,673
Let me remove my clothes

323
00:11:27,710 --> 00:11:30,089
so we may begin to engage
in physical activity

324
00:11:30,126 --> 00:11:32,975
to multiply our genes.

325
00:11:33,010 --> 00:11:35,667
And it's also weird
because we dated

326
00:11:35,686 --> 00:11:38,501
and we remember what it's like
to engage in some of those

327
00:11:38,536 --> 00:11:40,464
- physical activities.
- Exactly.

328
00:11:40,501 --> 00:11:45,765
And we were also pretty good
at those physical activities.

329
00:11:45,801 --> 00:11:47,851
Yes, we were.

330
00:11:47,886 --> 00:11:49,848
Yes, we were.

331
00:11:54,889 --> 00:11:57,113
You know,
is this all the pamphlets?

332
00:11:57,148 --> 00:11:58,190
'Cause I think that maybe

333
00:11:58,209 --> 00:12:02,275
I have some left
in my bedroom.

334
00:12:02,310 --> 00:12:03,491
Oh, well, then,

335
00:12:03,527 --> 00:12:05,110
we should definitely
go look for those.

336
00:12:05,143 --> 00:12:06,550
- Let's find those.
- We need to find those.

337
00:12:06,585 --> 00:12:08,548
Hurry.

338
00:12:13,136 --> 00:12:15,013
Okay, everyone gather around.

339
00:12:15,048 --> 00:12:16,282
Leslie,
I really appreciate this,

340
00:12:16,317 --> 00:12:18,367
but I did promise Gayle
I would leave by 5:00.

341
00:12:18,420 --> 00:12:21,998
She has a tasty surprise
waiting for me,

342
00:12:22,035 --> 00:12:23,563
if you know what I mean.

343
00:12:23,598 --> 00:12:24,936
Gross, Jerry.

344
00:12:24,971 --> 00:12:26,343
She made a meatloaf.

345
00:12:26,380 --> 00:12:27,630
Well, this is better
than meatloaf.

346
00:12:27,665 --> 00:12:29,207
When Jerry first applied
for this job,

347
00:12:29,212 --> 00:12:32,183
one of this goals was to have
a building named after him.

348
00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:33,382
Again,
that is an absurd request

349
00:12:33,417 --> 00:12:34,877
considering your work record.

350
00:12:34,912 --> 00:12:37,136
But I thought
maybe he could have a room

351
00:12:37,189 --> 00:12:38,457
named after him.

352
00:12:38,492 --> 00:12:41,828
So henceforth,
Parks and Rec conference room

353
00:12:41,863 --> 00:12:44,556
will serve as a testament

354
00:12:44,575 --> 00:12:46,625
to your years
of public service.

355
00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:49,335
- Oh, my God.
- Hear, hear.

356
00:12:49,371 --> 00:12:51,907
"Jerry Gergich Memorial
Conference Room.

357
00:12:51,943 --> 00:12:54,150
R.I.P."?

358
00:12:54,185 --> 00:12:57,086
Oh, the guy at the plaque
store thought you had died.

359
00:12:57,139 --> 00:12:59,588
It was a rush job, so we
didn't have time to change it.

360
00:12:59,642 --> 00:13:00,857
It doesn't matter.

361
00:13:00,893 --> 00:13:02,578
We can just pretend it means
retire in peace.

362
00:13:02,613 --> 00:13:03,864
- Yeah.
- Yeah, okay.

363
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:06,192
- So bring out the cake!
- Oh.

364
00:13:06,229 --> 00:13:08,782
Speech, speech, speech.

365
00:13:08,817 --> 00:13:10,503
Well, thank you, guys.

366
00:13:10,538 --> 00:13:12,066
I'm not much of a speechmaker,

367
00:13:12,102 --> 00:13:14,656
but I do like good cake.
Delicious.

368
00:13:14,691 --> 00:13:17,262
Uh, you're on fire.

369
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,539
Oh!

370
00:13:19,575 --> 00:13:20,790
Oh, my God, Jerry!

371
00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:21,798
Whoa.

372
00:13:31,548 --> 00:13:37,109
Well, that went roughly
as well as I thought it would.

373
00:13:37,144 --> 00:13:38,916
I promised Gayle
I'd leave at 5:00.

374
00:13:38,935 --> 00:13:40,323
I guess this is it.

375
00:13:42,236 --> 00:13:43,539
Bye.

376
00:13:44,095 --> 00:13:45,971
See you tomorrow, Jeremy.

377
00:13:46,008 --> 00:13:49,690
Well, pretty heroic,
huh, guys?

378
00:13:49,709 --> 00:13:51,185
Hard to make fun of that.

379
00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:52,958
Oh, man, the cake.

380
00:13:52,993 --> 00:13:55,304
Filo Pilo ruined the cake.

381
00:13:55,357 --> 00:13:56,468
Classic Pilo.

382
00:13:56,487 --> 00:13:58,380
What
how is that my fault?

383
00:13:58,398 --> 00:14:00,813
Stupid Jerry. Should have
never saved his life.

384
00:14:05,856 --> 00:14:06,603
Hey, Jerry.

385
00:14:06,604 --> 00:14:07,177
Do you have a second?

386
00:14:07,316 --> 00:14:09,366
Leslie. Well,
this is a lovely surprise.

387
00:14:09,402 --> 00:14:11,017
Come on in.
Have breakfast with the family.

388
00:14:11,070 --> 00:14:13,051
That's okay.
I just popped by to apologize

389
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,169
and to give you something.

390
00:14:14,181 --> 00:14:16,022
- Is that Leslie Knope?
- Yes.

391
00:14:16,058 --> 00:14:17,430
Oh, hi, Gayle.

392
00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:18,559
What a surprise.

393
00:14:18,595 --> 00:14:21,253
I insist you join us
for breakfast.

394
00:14:21,289 --> 00:14:25,093
This guy is the greatest
breakfast chef in the world.

395
00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:27,266
You know, I'm not really
into breakfast foods.

396
00:14:27,302 --> 00:14:29,508
Really? Your purse
is shaped like a waffle.

397
00:14:29,561 --> 00:14:31,141
- Is it?
- Please join us.

398
00:14:31,178 --> 00:14:33,731
The Gergiches don't take no
for an answer.

399
00:14:33,766 --> 00:14:36,251
- Mm-mm.
- Ugh, okay.

400
00:14:36,304 --> 00:14:37,797
Come on in.

401
00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:40,595
Girls, we've got company.

402
00:14:44,628 --> 00:14:47,251
So, you want
to get out of here?

403
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,215
Work just started,
Ms. Meagle.

404
00:14:49,251 --> 00:14:51,039
Yeah, but our work
is just beginning.

405
00:14:51,076 --> 00:14:52,221
You know what I'm saying?

406
00:14:52,257 --> 00:14:54,046
Oh, Donna,
who's the new boy toy?

407
00:14:54,082 --> 00:14:55,402
I'm Taylor,
the new intern.

408
00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:57,609
This is the new intern?
Are you kidding me?

409
00:14:57,644 --> 00:14:59,451
Yeah, he went to high school
with my sister, Natalie.

410
00:14:59,486 --> 00:15:01,936
He was a big deal
on the football team.

411
00:15:01,971 --> 00:15:05,307
Oh, meathead jock type,
huh?

412
00:15:05,343 --> 00:15:06,958
Actually, I quit football
senior year

413
00:15:06,994 --> 00:15:09,061
so I could help my pastor
run a homeless shelter.

414
00:15:09,096 --> 00:15:10,242
Oh.
Pfftt!

415
00:15:10,279 --> 00:15:11,338
This guy loves the homeless
so much,

416
00:15:11,373 --> 00:15:12,485
he should marry them, right?

417
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,327
Anybody would be lucky
to marry him.

418
00:15:14,362 --> 00:15:16,552
Hey, Taylor, do you want
to marry me and April?

419
00:15:16,587 --> 00:15:18,758
Wish I could, man,
but I'm not a "marriage" dude.

420
00:15:18,794 --> 00:15:20,044
I've got a lot of love
to give,

421
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,042
and it just seems unfair
to put boundaries on it.

422
00:15:22,079 --> 00:15:23,451
He gets it.

423
00:15:23,486 --> 00:15:25,362
You so get it.

424
00:15:29,030 --> 00:15:30,280
Oh, hey.

425
00:15:30,316 --> 00:15:33,790
Hi. Should I keep walking
towards you?

426
00:15:33,827 --> 00:15:37,162
Yeah, I could stop,
and you could walk.

427
00:15:37,215 --> 00:15:41,159
Or you know what,
we could meet in the middle.

428
00:15:41,194 --> 00:15:43,018
Great plan.

429
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:47,537
- Hello.
- Hi.

430
00:15:53,707 --> 00:15:55,322
- Welp.
- Okay.

431
00:16:01,267 --> 00:16:04,377
Ron, ask me if I'm sad.

432
00:16:04,412 --> 00:16:05,732
No.

433
00:16:05,768 --> 00:16:07,401
Ron, I'm the new Jerry.

434
00:16:07,436 --> 00:16:09,990
Well, is whining going to do
anything about it?

435
00:16:10,026 --> 00:16:11,850
You don't want to be
a whipping boy.

436
00:16:11,885 --> 00:16:13,622
Stand up for yourself.

437
00:16:13,658 --> 00:16:14,826
You don't understand, Ron.

438
00:16:14,839 --> 00:16:16,541
I already was Jerry.

439
00:16:16,594 --> 00:16:18,558
I was a skinny Indian kid
in South Carolina,

440
00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:19,827
and it sucked.

441
00:16:19,862 --> 00:16:22,641
It took me 12 years,
but I reinvented myself.

442
00:16:22,678 --> 00:16:24,710
I'm a business owner.
I wear dope suits.

443
00:16:24,745 --> 00:16:25,961
I have fur underwear.

444
00:16:25,996 --> 00:16:28,081
It was all for nothing.

445
00:16:28,116 --> 00:16:30,184
I'm back to being a Jerry.

446
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:31,695
All right.

447
00:16:31,732 --> 00:16:34,077
I gotta buy some sweat pants
and a Nicholas Sparks novel.

448
00:16:34,095 --> 00:16:36,022
Might as well lean into it.

449
00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:40,281
Tom can take care of himself.
He's a grown man.

450
00:16:40,316 --> 00:16:41,358
Well, half-grown.

451
00:16:41,394 --> 00:16:42,731
He does have a business

452
00:16:42,767 --> 00:16:45,198
where he rents out his clothes
to 12-year-olds.

453
00:16:59,693 --> 00:17:02,212
Oh, me?
♪ t-toast

454
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:17,853
Very good.

455
00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:19,956
We sing that every morning.

456
00:17:19,991 --> 00:17:21,189
But it's an extra treat

457
00:17:21,242 --> 00:17:22,389
because you're here
to sing it with us.

458
00:17:22,425 --> 00:17:23,987
Thanks, guys.

459
00:17:24,023 --> 00:17:25,395
Jerry, I wanted your last day

460
00:17:25,431 --> 00:17:27,289
at work to be special,
and I feel like I let you down.

461
00:17:27,326 --> 00:17:28,870
No!

462
00:17:28,907 --> 00:17:32,798
So I made you this scrapbook
with nearly 4 amazing pages

463
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:34,293
jam-packed with memories

464
00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:35,683
of your time in the government.

465
00:17:35,736 --> 00:17:37,264
Oh, my go...

466
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:38,707
well, look.

467
00:17:38,743 --> 00:17:40,132
Oh, honey.

468
00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:43,851
You look great
in every one of these.

469
00:17:43,887 --> 00:17:47,135
You are still
the most handsome man

470
00:17:47,154 --> 00:17:48,769
in the world to me.

471
00:17:48,805 --> 00:17:50,003
Ugh.

472
00:17:50,039 --> 00:17:51,741
Mom, come on.

473
00:17:51,777 --> 00:17:53,496
Yeah, jeez, mom.
We're eating.

474
00:17:53,532 --> 00:17:56,172
You know, it doesn't
make any sense.

475
00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:59,735
Leslie,
that is really sweet of you,

476
00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:01,786
but you don't
have to worry about me.

477
00:18:01,839 --> 00:18:02,985
I'm great.

478
00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:04,862
Here.
I want to show you something.

479
00:18:04,897 --> 00:18:06,339
Okay.

480
00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:08,407
No!

481
00:18:08,426 --> 00:18:10,822
You also dropped that,
clumsy.

482
00:18:13,673 --> 00:18:15,810
Where am I?

483
00:18:16,366 --> 00:18:18,834
I know I didn't achieve
all my work goals,

484
00:18:18,853 --> 00:18:20,241
but, Leslie, I don't care

485
00:18:20,278 --> 00:18:21,980
because for me,
the best part

486
00:18:22,033 --> 00:18:23,213
about working
in the Parks department

487
00:18:23,232 --> 00:18:25,403
was that I got to be home
every night

488
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,367
with my family at 5:00.

489
00:18:27,403 --> 00:18:31,138
And to me,
that's what mattered most.

490
00:18:31,173 --> 00:18:32,736
Little Sebastian...
Oh, wow.

491
00:18:32,755 --> 00:18:34,475
Jerry.

492
00:18:34,493 --> 00:18:37,046
Thank you for sharing this
with me.

493
00:18:37,082 --> 00:18:39,045
I...

494
00:18:39,098 --> 00:18:41,078
You have a wonderful life.

495
00:18:41,096 --> 00:18:43,703
Mmhmm.
Aw.

496
00:18:43,738 --> 00:18:44,867
Group hug.

497
00:18:44,903 --> 00:18:46,917
Uhoh, here they are.

498
00:18:46,954 --> 00:18:48,568
The hug machine is here.

499
00:18:49,820 --> 00:18:51,905
The hug machine...

500
00:18:51,958 --> 00:18:54,598
it's firing on all cylinders.

501
00:18:56,504 --> 00:18:59,890
Okay, I think we should be adults
and talk about this.

502
00:18:59,941 --> 00:19:00,966
I would love to.

503
00:19:00,967 --> 00:19:03,051
I was nervous after yesterday

504
00:19:03,086 --> 00:19:05,050
because I was thinking
what does this mean for us?

505
00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:06,875
Not as parents,
but as Chris and Ann?

506
00:19:07,170 --> 00:19:09,220
I don't think on-again,
off-again

507
00:19:09,256 --> 00:19:10,836
is a great parental model.

508
00:19:10,872 --> 00:19:12,227
Well, I completely agree.

509
00:19:12,262 --> 00:19:15,216
But if there is
a hypothetical chance

510
00:19:15,269 --> 00:19:17,562
that we could provide a home
with two parents

511
00:19:17,597 --> 00:19:19,647
who are hypothetically
together,

512
00:19:19,683 --> 00:19:22,393
then that could be even better
hypothetically.

513
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:25,416
Of course.
We should discuss and consider

514
00:19:25,435 --> 00:19:27,293
all the possibilities.

515
00:19:27,329 --> 00:19:29,431
The most important thing for me
and I think for you

516
00:19:29,988 --> 00:19:31,498
is that we have a child.

517
00:19:31,767 --> 00:19:36,730
And I don't want to do anything
to jeopardize that.

518
00:19:37,287 --> 00:19:38,208
Do you want to make out?

519
00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:40,901
I really do.

520
00:19:41,666 --> 00:19:43,247
Hey.

521
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:44,533
What are you doing here,
Jerry?

522
00:19:44,534 --> 00:19:45,923
I thought you were fired.

523
00:19:45,942 --> 00:19:48,027
I wasn't fired.
I retired.

524
00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:49,504
That's what they all say.

525
00:19:49,539 --> 00:19:51,067
I asked Jerry to come in.

526
00:19:51,104 --> 00:19:54,283
That new intern wasn't working
out, so I got rid of him.

527
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:58,088
Once again, I object in
the strongest possible terms.

528
00:19:58,107 --> 00:19:59,931
Once again, noted.

529
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:03,319
I have also asked Jerry to come
in a couple hours a week

530
00:20:03,355 --> 00:20:05,701
until we find
a permanent replacement.

531
00:20:05,736 --> 00:20:07,264
Ugh, just when
we were rid of him?

532
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:08,481
Yeah, I don't know, Ron.

533
00:20:08,516 --> 00:20:09,697
Are you hearing me, son?

534
00:20:09,733 --> 00:20:12,269
Jerry will come in
once a week,

535
00:20:12,305 --> 00:20:14,250
and everyone will get
to watch him eat

536
00:20:14,268 --> 00:20:18,386
and talk to him about anything
he might do or say or fart.

537
00:20:19,255 --> 00:20:21,306
- Welcome back, Jerry.
- Thank you.

538
00:20:21,342 --> 00:20:23,861
Oh, it feels good
just to be ba...

539
00:20:26,590 --> 00:20:28,258
Classic new guy.

540
00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:31,107
I'm sorry that I spent
your day off with Jerry

541
00:20:31,126 --> 00:20:33,123
- instead of relaxing with you.
- It's all right.

542
00:20:33,159 --> 00:20:35,417
And after you fell asleep
making Jerry's scrapbook,

543
00:20:35,453 --> 00:20:37,763
I went back to season
one of Fringe

544
00:20:37,816 --> 00:20:39,206
to check for plot holes.

545
00:20:39,241 --> 00:20:42,577
As I suspected... airtight.

546
00:20:42,595 --> 00:20:44,662
I'm sorry.
This is all my fault.

547
00:20:44,681 --> 00:20:46,505
I love my job.

548
00:20:46,540 --> 00:20:49,216
But in the blink of an eye,
I'm gonna be retiring,

549
00:20:49,252 --> 00:20:52,083
you know, and flying off
on Marine One

550
00:20:52,136 --> 00:20:55,038
with you
and a Secret Service detail.

551
00:20:55,091 --> 00:20:56,341
Achievements are great,

552
00:20:56,377 --> 00:20:58,739
but I want more than that.

553
00:20:58,776 --> 00:21:02,128
I want what Jerry has.

554
00:21:02,164 --> 00:21:04,647
I mean,
we're always gonna work,

555
00:21:04,684 --> 00:21:07,863
but I think we need to fill
this scrapbook too.

556
00:21:07,898 --> 00:21:09,809
Maybe we should take
a real day off

557
00:21:09,845 --> 00:21:12,937
and talk about starting
our family.

558
00:21:12,990 --> 00:21:15,631
Yeah.
That sounds perfect.

559
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,586
Hey, while you were
over at Jerry's,

560
00:21:18,621 --> 00:21:20,236
did you happen to get
any information

561
00:21:20,289 --> 00:21:21,714
about his history with Gayle?

562
00:21:21,750 --> 00:21:23,678
Like, was she a Russian spy

563
00:21:23,713 --> 00:21:26,544
and the KGB forced her
to marry Jerry as a cover?

564
00:21:26,581 --> 00:21:28,752
You know, it's a mystery, Ben.
Let it go.

565
00:21:28,805 --> 00:21:30,803
Yeah, I can't.
It keeps me awake at night.

566
00:21:30,838 --> 00:21:32,470
Hey, maybe Gayle
has one of those

567
00:21:32,507 --> 00:21:35,477
Oliver Sacks
brain disorder thingies?

568
00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:38,084
Like, does she think Jerry
is a friendly hat?

569
00:21:38,103 --> 00:21:40,326
I think you solved it.

570
00:21:40,327 --> 00:21:45,117
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com