1 00:00:03,555 --> 00:00:07,045 Okay, here's what I'm thinking. 2 00:00:07,078 --> 00:00:08,792 I was gonna wait until our anniversary, 3 00:00:08,824 --> 00:00:11,481 take you somewhere romantic, perhaps in a canoe... 4 00:00:11,530 --> 00:00:13,451 most likely in a canoe. 5 00:00:13,485 --> 00:00:15,758 I actually built a canoe for that purpose, 6 00:00:15,791 --> 00:00:18,560 but given the news, and given 7 00:00:18,594 --> 00:00:23,157 my significant feelings for you, 8 00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:24,968 now seems as good a time as any. 9 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,225 Ron Swanson. 10 00:00:27,258 --> 00:00:31,230 Diane Lewis... 11 00:00:31,262 --> 00:00:33,952 will you marry me? 12 00:00:33,985 --> 00:00:35,970 Yes. 13 00:00:35,987 --> 00:00:37,956 - On one condition. - Anything, my love. 14 00:00:37,989 --> 00:00:39,301 Ask me for anything in the world, 15 00:00:39,319 --> 00:00:40,519 and I'll give it to you, 16 00:00:40,551 --> 00:00:42,344 except a destination wedding. 17 00:00:42,377 --> 00:00:45,227 Just the opposite. We've both been married before. 18 00:00:45,260 --> 00:00:47,341 I don't want anything big or elaborate. 19 00:00:47,359 --> 00:00:49,055 In fact, the smaller the better. 20 00:00:49,088 --> 00:00:50,480 I assume you can deal with that. 21 00:00:50,498 --> 00:00:51,778 Are you kidding? 22 00:00:51,827 --> 00:00:52,899 As far as I'm concerned, 23 00:00:52,948 --> 00:00:56,567 we could go up to the fourth floor right now. 24 00:00:58,009 --> 00:00:59,385 Well, hello there. 25 00:00:59,419 --> 00:01:01,099 Hey, Leslie. What's with the getup? 26 00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:03,106 We're coming back from cleaning up the Pawnee River. 27 00:01:03,118 --> 00:01:05,087 There's nothing I love more than squeegeeing slime 28 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:06,048 off a highway underpass. 29 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:07,490 Where are you guys going? 30 00:01:07,507 --> 00:01:09,155 The fourth floor, getting married. 31 00:01:09,188 --> 00:01:10,998 Okey-dokey. Well, catch you later. 32 00:01:11,047 --> 00:01:13,608 What? Wha... 33 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,907 What... who's... what the... 34 00:01:16,940 --> 00:01:19,597 Are you dead? You look like you're in rictus. 35 00:01:19,615 --> 00:01:21,664 I just... I'm having so many thoughts and feelings 36 00:01:21,697 --> 00:01:23,537 that I'm paralyzed right now. 37 00:01:23,554 --> 00:01:24,787 Would you ladies like to come? 38 00:01:24,804 --> 00:01:26,965 - Can I be the best man? - Why not? Let's go. 39 00:01:26,998 --> 00:01:28,983 Ron is getting married, and I love him, 40 00:01:29,016 --> 00:01:31,033 and I care about him, and this is the greatest day ever, 41 00:01:31,066 --> 00:01:32,667 and I do not have time to talk about this! 42 00:01:32,684 --> 00:01:33,628 Wait! 43 00:01:35,038 --> 00:01:36,799 If you would just slow down a little, 44 00:01:36,816 --> 00:01:39,025 then I could arrange balloons or a flower cake 45 00:01:39,074 --> 00:01:40,594 - or a bouncy castle... - Ah! 46 00:01:40,643 --> 00:01:41,876 Ethel Beavers, we would like 47 00:01:41,925 --> 00:01:43,878 a marriage license, please and thank you. 48 00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,287 What's the date of the wedding? 49 00:01:45,304 --> 00:01:47,145 - Today. - It's a bit unusual, 50 00:01:47,178 --> 00:01:49,036 - but we both... - Don't care. 51 00:01:49,068 --> 00:01:52,046 Leslie Knope, would you please be my matron of honor? 52 00:01:52,064 --> 00:01:55,986 Diane, you have no idea what that means to me. 53 00:01:56,003 --> 00:01:57,172 She gets it. Let's go. 54 00:01:57,204 --> 00:02:00,086 Well, this is like a waking nightmare... 55 00:02:00,104 --> 00:02:02,600 of happiness. I need to get some flowers. 56 00:02:02,634 --> 00:02:05,756 Why don't you hold this colorful bouquet of highlighters? 57 00:02:05,789 --> 00:02:07,774 Rice, I need to find some rice, I need to throw some rice. 58 00:02:07,807 --> 00:02:10,368 Why is there no rice in this municipal government building? 59 00:02:10,385 --> 00:02:12,306 I found a justice guy. These are the marrying people. 60 00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:13,604 - This is Carl. - Hello, Carl. 61 00:02:13,637 --> 00:02:15,211 My fiancee and I would like to get married 62 00:02:15,238 --> 00:02:16,406 right now, right here. 63 00:02:16,455 --> 00:02:18,260 Haven't I done a quickie wedding for you before? 64 00:02:18,266 --> 00:02:21,211 It's certainly possible, but this one's going to stick. 65 00:02:21,245 --> 00:02:23,358 I need your full names for the license. 66 00:02:23,390 --> 00:02:26,977 - Ronald Ulysses Swanson. - Diane Tammy Lewis. 67 00:02:27,026 --> 00:02:28,275 Tammy? 68 00:02:28,307 --> 00:02:30,677 - Your middle name is... - Just kidding, it's Elizabeth. 69 00:02:30,709 --> 00:02:31,975 - Let's go, Carl. - Hey, hey. 70 00:02:32,007 --> 00:02:33,608 Let's pump the brakes, Carl, okay? 71 00:02:33,656 --> 00:02:36,426 Belay that order, Carl. Shortest possible ceremony. 72 00:02:36,476 --> 00:02:38,268 I'm tired of not being married to this woman. 73 00:02:38,301 --> 00:02:39,838 Do you, Ron Swanson, take Diane to be your wife? 74 00:02:39,871 --> 00:02:41,600 Ooh, it's going to start! Ooh, it's happening! 75 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:42,608 - I certainly do. - Oh, my God! 76 00:02:42,657 --> 00:02:43,682 - And do you, Diane, take... - Yes! 77 00:02:43,699 --> 00:02:44,915 - Yes, I do. - She said yes! 78 00:02:44,948 --> 00:02:46,180 - Okay. - Wait! 79 00:02:46,197 --> 00:02:48,230 - By the power vested in me... - Before you... 80 00:02:48,263 --> 00:02:49,479 Carl, just one second. 81 00:02:49,512 --> 00:02:51,001 I would just like to give a short speech, if I may. 82 00:02:51,050 --> 00:02:52,347 You have ten seconds. 83 00:02:52,379 --> 00:02:54,188 At first glance, it may seem 84 00:02:54,222 --> 00:02:57,039 as though Ron Swanson and I have nothing in common, 85 00:02:57,072 --> 00:02:58,832 but Webster's dictionary defines "friend..." 86 00:02:58,850 --> 00:02:59,922 - Time. - It's... ugh! 87 00:02:59,939 --> 00:03:01,252 Thank you, Leslie. 88 00:03:01,301 --> 00:03:02,501 I could tell where you were going with that, 89 00:03:02,533 --> 00:03:03,685 and it was gonna be beautiful. 90 00:03:03,703 --> 00:03:05,159 - I now pronounce you... - Oh! 91 00:03:05,192 --> 00:03:06,104 man and wife. 92 00:03:06,121 --> 00:03:07,994 Hooray! 93 00:03:08,011 --> 00:03:08,955 Yay! 94 00:03:08,972 --> 00:03:10,012 Great job, everyone. 95 00:03:10,045 --> 00:03:11,214 The reception will be held 96 00:03:11,263 --> 00:03:13,136 in each of our individual houses, alone. 97 00:03:13,184 --> 00:03:15,522 Pretend this is rice! 98 00:03:15,555 --> 00:03:18,437 That was beautiful. 99 00:03:21,304 --> 00:03:30,904 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 100 00:03:37,897 --> 00:03:39,849 The people who want to boot me from office 101 00:03:39,883 --> 00:03:41,675 have been viciously attacking me for weeks. 102 00:03:41,709 --> 00:03:44,351 Recall Knope! Recall Knope! 103 00:03:44,384 --> 00:03:45,920 Legalize weed! 104 00:03:45,952 --> 00:03:47,137 Last week, I was an answer 105 00:03:47,170 --> 00:03:48,963 in the Pawnee Journal's Crossword Puzzle. 106 00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:51,270 The clue..."Who's the worst," but you know what? 107 00:03:51,302 --> 00:03:52,598 We're fighting back. 108 00:03:52,647 --> 00:03:55,049 I've broken my defense initiative into 40 phases. 109 00:03:55,082 --> 00:03:59,197 We are currently in phase 26: "No problem too small." 110 00:03:59,230 --> 00:04:02,048 Anyone can come to me any time with any problem, 111 00:04:02,081 --> 00:04:03,313 no matter how petty or small, 112 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:06,501 and I will fix it personally, and let me tell you, 113 00:04:06,534 --> 00:04:08,967 some of these complaints are pretty damn petty and small. 114 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:12,186 Okay, Gretel, how can I help you today? 115 00:04:12,203 --> 00:04:13,932 There are slugs everywhere on the sidewalk 116 00:04:13,965 --> 00:04:15,036 in front of my house. 117 00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:18,016 I want them gone but not killed... I love animals. 118 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,746 But get rid of them. They're gross. 119 00:04:19,779 --> 00:04:23,076 But make sure they're happy but not too happy. 120 00:04:23,094 --> 00:04:27,946 Well, we're on it, because "No problem too small." 121 00:04:27,979 --> 00:04:29,163 So what now? 122 00:04:29,196 --> 00:04:30,557 Well, I have about 30 more people 123 00:04:30,606 --> 00:04:32,719 who want to come into my office and complain to my face. 124 00:04:32,751 --> 00:04:33,648 - Leslie Knope! - Oh! 125 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,265 Ann Perkins. Mm. 126 00:04:35,298 --> 00:04:36,627 How's the recall fight going? 127 00:04:36,659 --> 00:04:37,748 This person-to-person campaigning 128 00:04:37,781 --> 00:04:39,157 is kind of wearing me down. 129 00:04:39,190 --> 00:04:40,887 Well, as a wise woman once said to me, 130 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,410 "Ann, you cunning, pliable, chestnut-haired sunfish, 131 00:04:44,443 --> 00:04:46,092 phase 26 is the key to my plan." 132 00:04:46,141 --> 00:04:48,078 Good memory, sunfish. Let's press on. 133 00:04:48,111 --> 00:04:50,944 I have to come up with some solution for this slug problem. 134 00:04:50,961 --> 00:04:53,924 Someone has a slug infestation? 135 00:04:53,957 --> 00:04:55,814 Boy, oh, boy, we live interesting lives, 136 00:04:55,847 --> 00:04:57,255 filled with unexpected challenges. 137 00:04:57,272 --> 00:04:59,113 Life is precious, and every day 138 00:04:59,146 --> 00:05:02,044 is a miracle. 139 00:05:02,077 --> 00:05:05,120 Okay. 140 00:05:05,168 --> 00:05:06,448 What a freak. 141 00:05:06,481 --> 00:05:09,268 Things with me and Chris are going really well. 142 00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:11,701 We spend every day together, and we're having so much fun. 143 00:05:11,719 --> 00:05:14,569 And check this out. 144 00:05:15,723 --> 00:05:17,291 Oh, no, there's no ring. 145 00:05:17,324 --> 00:05:19,422 We just had manicures together recently. 146 00:05:19,454 --> 00:05:22,160 Sorry, that was misleading. 147 00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:27,414 Ah, Mr. Haverford, back again, I see. 148 00:05:27,446 --> 00:05:28,342 What the hell, man? 149 00:05:28,376 --> 00:05:29,319 This looks exactly like my store! 150 00:05:29,336 --> 00:05:30,440 I know. 151 00:05:30,458 --> 00:05:32,138 My client is a very determined businessman. 152 00:05:32,170 --> 00:05:33,755 When he rips someone off, he goes all the way. 153 00:05:33,789 --> 00:05:37,632 You see, you are Hydrox, Mr. Haverford. 154 00:05:37,681 --> 00:05:39,185 We are Oreo. 155 00:05:39,202 --> 00:05:41,235 Your mysterious, unnamed client 156 00:05:41,267 --> 00:05:42,485 seems like a pretty intense guy. 157 00:05:42,517 --> 00:05:44,967 I am impressed by how quickly he was able to move 158 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,889 such a large amount of merchandise. 159 00:05:46,922 --> 00:05:48,282 - Mm. - He must be 160 00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:50,733 one heck of a transporter. 161 00:05:50,766 --> 00:05:52,655 My client is not Jason Statham, 162 00:05:52,688 --> 00:05:53,696 if that's what you're thinking. 163 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,938 Some mysterious big shot investor 164 00:05:55,971 --> 00:05:58,260 has opened up a store directly across the street 165 00:05:58,293 --> 00:06:00,175 from rent-a-swag to try to put me out of business. 166 00:06:00,183 --> 00:06:01,383 I'm not worried, though. 167 00:06:01,416 --> 00:06:03,465 I've poured my heart and soul into my store. 168 00:06:03,498 --> 00:06:05,308 I'm sure this guy's just looking for a place to store 169 00:06:05,340 --> 00:06:07,422 all his NBA championship trophies. 170 00:06:07,471 --> 00:06:09,968 - It's not Lebron James. - Damn. 171 00:06:10,001 --> 00:06:12,114 Well, I hate to say this, gang, 172 00:06:12,147 --> 00:06:14,868 but I don't think "No problem too small" is working. 173 00:06:14,901 --> 00:06:16,134 I mean, there's been no press coverage, 174 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,511 no change in my poll numbers. 175 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:20,282 I agree, we need something massive and attention-getting, 176 00:06:20,315 --> 00:06:22,124 something that will grab people by the ears, 177 00:06:22,157 --> 00:06:23,677 yell at them through a bullhorn, 178 00:06:23,710 --> 00:06:25,407 and hit them like a bolt of lightning. 179 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:26,849 - I got it! - What is it? 180 00:06:26,882 --> 00:06:28,834 Oh, no, I just... I got a fly. 181 00:06:28,852 --> 00:06:30,404 I have something. 182 00:06:30,437 --> 00:06:34,296 Remember phase 13, "Think outside of the box"? 183 00:06:34,329 --> 00:06:35,529 Of course. It was an amazing phase. 184 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:36,939 Easily a top five phase. 185 00:06:36,971 --> 00:06:38,652 Well, I thought outside of the box, 186 00:06:38,701 --> 00:06:40,735 and I nominated you for this big award. 187 00:06:40,784 --> 00:06:41,967 It's called 188 00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:43,569 "The International Coalition of Women in Government," 189 00:06:43,587 --> 00:06:46,548 and you won. 190 00:06:46,581 --> 00:06:48,166 There's, like, five winners, 191 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,619 and you get a big trophy or something. 192 00:06:49,624 --> 00:06:52,026 Oh, my God, this is real. I just assumed you were lying. 193 00:06:52,059 --> 00:06:54,396 Thank you, but yeah, it's real. 194 00:06:54,429 --> 00:06:57,343 Ann Richards won it once, and Janet Napolitano, I think. 195 00:06:57,360 --> 00:07:00,354 Janet Napoli-fraking-tano? Oh, my God. 196 00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:02,004 This is amazing and perfect. 197 00:07:02,037 --> 00:07:04,406 This is exactly the kind of big, splashy thing 198 00:07:04,439 --> 00:07:05,720 that's gonna get the voters' attention. 199 00:07:05,768 --> 00:07:06,760 When is the ceremony? 200 00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:09,995 - Next month... in London. - London? 201 00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:12,975 - London? - We're going to London? 202 00:07:13,008 --> 00:07:15,169 We're going to London, you guys! 203 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,618 I can't believe we're at Hogwarts! 204 00:07:20,938 --> 00:07:23,404 No, that's Buckingham Palace. 205 00:07:23,437 --> 00:07:26,366 Hogwarts is fictional. Do you know that? 206 00:07:26,384 --> 00:07:28,673 It's important to me that you know that. 207 00:07:28,706 --> 00:07:31,124 Okay, guys, we are going to be sightseeing today. 208 00:07:31,173 --> 00:07:32,501 Andy and Ben are gonna go to their meeting, 209 00:07:32,534 --> 00:07:34,199 and then we're gonna go back to the hotel for lunch, 210 00:07:34,232 --> 00:07:37,482 and I will spend the day getting to know London's history. 211 00:07:37,515 --> 00:07:40,749 History began on July 4, 1776. 212 00:07:40,783 --> 00:07:42,896 Everything before that was a mistake. 213 00:07:42,913 --> 00:07:47,508 Diane suggested we "tag along to London" for a honeymoon. 214 00:07:47,541 --> 00:07:49,718 I agreed, because my love for her 215 00:07:49,751 --> 00:07:51,896 trumps my hatred for Europe. 216 00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:54,058 Then she hit a phase of morning sickness 217 00:07:54,092 --> 00:07:56,925 that knocked her for a loop and decided to stay home, 218 00:07:56,959 --> 00:08:01,298 but she insisted I go and take pictures for her. 219 00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:02,653 All of this could have been avoided 220 00:08:02,676 --> 00:08:04,485 if we'd followed my plan for a honeymoon: 221 00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:05,766 a steak dinner, 222 00:08:05,783 --> 00:08:07,464 a glass of Lagavulin whiskey, 223 00:08:07,496 --> 00:08:09,786 then vigorous lovemaking for two hours, 224 00:08:09,820 --> 00:08:11,837 and we're both asleep by 8:30. 225 00:08:11,869 --> 00:08:13,213 Hey, Leslie, we're gonna head to the meeting. 226 00:08:13,262 --> 00:08:14,174 Are you okay? 227 00:08:14,223 --> 00:08:15,504 Yeah, I know it's weird, 228 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,762 but I kind of feel bad about leaving Pawnee. 229 00:08:17,795 --> 00:08:20,373 It's like leaving my kid at home without a babysitter. 230 00:08:20,406 --> 00:08:21,751 Leslie, you're in London. 231 00:08:21,783 --> 00:08:24,169 You're 4,000 miles away from home. 232 00:08:24,201 --> 00:08:27,244 - Try to enjoy this, okay? - Yeah, you're right, as usual. 233 00:08:27,293 --> 00:08:28,173 Good luck. 234 00:08:29,167 --> 00:08:31,969 Ooh, hey... 235 00:08:32,001 --> 00:08:34,451 boss man, I want to go home early. 236 00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:35,396 Ooh, hold on, actually. 237 00:08:35,429 --> 00:08:36,629 Hang on. Yeah, no. 238 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:39,111 I want to quit and never come here again. 239 00:08:39,128 --> 00:08:40,633 Okay, bye. 240 00:08:40,666 --> 00:08:42,411 I can't believe I used to date you! 241 00:08:42,443 --> 00:08:43,500 Tommy Pickles! 242 00:08:43,533 --> 00:08:44,877 You see there's a better version 243 00:08:44,911 --> 00:08:46,335 of your store across the street? 244 00:08:46,368 --> 00:08:49,266 And those guys are giving out free pizza with "papperonas." 245 00:08:49,299 --> 00:08:50,755 I know, man. That's my competition. 246 00:08:50,789 --> 00:08:52,629 They're trying to put me out of business, and it's working. 247 00:08:52,662 --> 00:08:54,999 Three weeks ago, this place was hopping. 248 00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:56,585 My clothes were flying off the rack. 249 00:08:56,618 --> 00:08:59,276 I was spreading swag around town like a killer swag virus. 250 00:08:59,325 --> 00:09:02,047 Now, look at this place. It's dead! 251 00:09:02,064 --> 00:09:03,024 What am I gonna do? 252 00:09:03,073 --> 00:09:04,577 It's like I always say, okay? 253 00:09:04,594 --> 00:09:05,955 When life gives you lemons, 254 00:09:05,987 --> 00:09:07,492 you sell some of your grandma's jewelry, 255 00:09:07,525 --> 00:09:08,517 and you go clubbing. 256 00:09:08,534 --> 00:09:10,151 That's not a good piece of advice. 257 00:09:10,184 --> 00:09:12,553 So I'ma throw up. I ate too much cheese. 258 00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:13,737 I'll talk to you! 259 00:09:13,755 --> 00:09:16,380 I need some better friends. 260 00:09:16,414 --> 00:09:19,344 So the only thing you did was stop drinking beer? 261 00:09:19,376 --> 00:09:21,522 Yeah, I lost 50 pounds in one month. 262 00:09:21,555 --> 00:09:23,044 How much beer were you drinking? 263 00:09:23,076 --> 00:09:24,564 I know, right? 264 00:09:24,582 --> 00:09:26,183 Probably too much. 265 00:09:26,216 --> 00:09:27,816 Andy and I are meeting with an English charity foundation 266 00:09:27,849 --> 00:09:30,683 to expand our after-school music program, 267 00:09:30,716 --> 00:09:32,461 and British people love me. 268 00:09:32,494 --> 00:09:34,399 There was this British kid in my high school 269 00:09:34,431 --> 00:09:35,920 who always called me "Big Ben" 270 00:09:35,969 --> 00:09:38,787 and would punch me really hard on the arm, 271 00:09:38,820 --> 00:09:42,535 and go, "Bong! Bong! Bo..." 272 00:09:42,568 --> 00:09:44,377 Oh, he might have hated me. 273 00:09:44,426 --> 00:09:45,994 Real quick, should I do a British accent? 274 00:09:46,027 --> 00:09:48,621 - Um, I'm gonna say no. - You sure? 275 00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:49,886 - Yeah. - I can do one. 276 00:09:49,935 --> 00:09:51,824 It's not very good, but I think I could pull it off. 277 00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:53,457 I just feel like he's gonna get upset 278 00:09:53,475 --> 00:09:55,283 when he finds out that we're American. 279 00:09:55,317 --> 00:09:56,821 He knows we're American. 280 00:09:56,854 --> 00:09:58,631 Ugh, great. All right, well, 281 00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:00,409 I guess we'll take the meeting anyway. 282 00:10:00,441 --> 00:10:01,722 After all, 283 00:10:01,755 --> 00:10:03,196 we did come all the way down under. 284 00:10:03,213 --> 00:10:04,925 No. 285 00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:08,672 Lord Covington, I'm Ben Wyatt. 286 00:10:08,690 --> 00:10:12,213 This is Andy Dwyer, and it is an honor to meet you, sir. 287 00:10:12,262 --> 00:10:13,366 Well, it's nice to meet you too. 288 00:10:13,399 --> 00:10:15,880 However, the proper mode of address would be 289 00:10:15,913 --> 00:10:18,539 "Your Royal Excellency, Lord Edgar Darby Covington, 290 00:10:18,572 --> 00:10:20,717 "14th Earl of Cornwall-upon-Tthames, 291 00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:24,016 29th Baron of Hertfordshire." 292 00:10:24,050 --> 00:10:25,538 No, no, no, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. 293 00:10:25,587 --> 00:10:26,739 - Oh! - Please, call me Eddie. 294 00:10:26,771 --> 00:10:28,597 Oh, thank God. 295 00:10:28,630 --> 00:10:30,391 I knew that other name must have been a stupid joke. 296 00:10:30,408 --> 00:10:31,671 Andy... 297 00:10:31,689 --> 00:10:32,937 No, no, no, no, he's absolutely right, 298 00:10:32,970 --> 00:10:35,435 it's an absurd name. 299 00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:39,168 Well, I'm excited to hear about your musical charity idea. 300 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,378 - Shall we? - Yeah. 301 00:10:41,410 --> 00:10:43,828 The Notting Hill bus tour starts at 2:00, 302 00:10:43,878 --> 00:10:46,118 the Love Actually bus tour starts at 2:30, 303 00:10:46,152 --> 00:10:49,418 and... oh, the Bridget Jones bus tour starts at 2:30 also. 304 00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:52,317 What do we do? Ron, your pick. 305 00:10:53,647 --> 00:10:57,137 Look, a clock. We don't have that in America. 306 00:10:57,170 --> 00:10:59,876 You call that a tower? 307 00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:01,894 Try the Sears Tower, friend. 308 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:03,848 "London at night." 309 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,850 That is very funny. 310 00:11:05,867 --> 00:11:06,811 Can I help you, sir? 311 00:11:06,828 --> 00:11:09,614 Yes. I will take this. 312 00:11:09,647 --> 00:11:11,520 We don't accept American currency, sir. 313 00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:12,817 Of course you do. 314 00:11:12,866 --> 00:11:14,338 That's the most wonderful piece of paper in the world. 315 00:11:14,371 --> 00:11:15,299 Accept it. 316 00:11:15,332 --> 00:11:16,549 Very sorry, sir. 317 00:11:16,582 --> 00:11:18,007 Fine. 318 00:11:18,039 --> 00:11:20,185 Enjoy the fact that your royal overlords 319 00:11:20,217 --> 00:11:23,227 are a frail, old woman and a tiny baby. 320 00:11:26,442 --> 00:11:27,901 You really think this will work, Donna? 321 00:11:27,905 --> 00:11:28,849 Why wouldn't it? 322 00:11:28,866 --> 00:11:30,034 We just pull the business license... 323 00:11:30,067 --> 00:11:31,156 it's public information... 324 00:11:31,188 --> 00:11:32,837 and then at least you'll have an address. 325 00:11:32,887 --> 00:11:34,887 Ooh, here. 326 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:37,338 Hmm, some kind of shady, fake shell corporation 327 00:11:37,371 --> 00:11:40,349 - called "Open 4 Business, LLC." - Thanks, Donna. 328 00:11:40,381 --> 00:11:42,575 Hey, if it's Akon and y'all become best friends, 329 00:11:42,608 --> 00:11:44,257 I want a ride on his plane. 330 00:11:44,289 --> 00:11:47,011 - Done and done. - Nice. 331 00:11:47,028 --> 00:11:49,846 "1020 Maple Street." 332 00:11:51,881 --> 00:11:54,715 Ann and Chris? What are they doing here? 333 00:11:57,679 --> 00:11:59,199 Sir, you can't go in there! 334 00:11:59,248 --> 00:12:01,425 Aha! I caught you! 335 00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:04,341 - Hey, it's Tom! - What the hell are you doing? 336 00:12:04,374 --> 00:12:06,167 What am I doing? What are you doing here? 337 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,241 Dr. Saperstein is giving me a sonogram, 338 00:12:09,258 --> 00:12:12,188 in his doctor's office, for women, because I'm pregnant! 339 00:12:12,222 --> 00:12:14,479 Oh, my God. 340 00:12:14,528 --> 00:12:16,496 - You're Jean-Ralphio's dad! - Mm-hmm. 341 00:12:16,530 --> 00:12:18,322 You're the one that's trying to put me out of business! 342 00:12:18,356 --> 00:12:19,588 Well, look at that, Mr. Haverford. 343 00:12:19,620 --> 00:12:20,677 You tracked me down. 344 00:12:20,710 --> 00:12:22,727 Looks like your detective skills are a lot better 345 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:25,929 than your tween, high-end fashion rental skills. 346 00:12:25,947 --> 00:12:27,484 Ann, Chris, can we have the room, please? 347 00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:29,005 No, you certainly cannot. 348 00:12:29,038 --> 00:12:29,935 Dr. Saperstein, why are you doing this? 349 00:12:29,967 --> 00:12:31,055 What did I ever do to you? 350 00:12:31,088 --> 00:12:32,897 You know exactly why I'm doing this. 351 00:12:32,946 --> 00:12:34,594 You destroyed my family. 352 00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:36,564 First, you screwed my son out of your business, 353 00:12:36,597 --> 00:12:38,888 and then you stole my daughter's virginity. 354 00:12:50,596 --> 00:12:52,116 Wait, you're serious? 355 00:12:52,165 --> 00:12:53,286 Deadly serious. 356 00:12:53,318 --> 00:12:55,367 According to my daughter, you broke her heart. 357 00:12:55,384 --> 00:12:57,209 Then you smashed up her BMW. 358 00:12:57,243 --> 00:12:58,378 I had to buy her a new one, 359 00:12:58,396 --> 00:13:00,012 so she could drive to Divinity School. 360 00:13:00,045 --> 00:13:01,326 Let me tell you something, mister. 361 00:13:01,358 --> 00:13:04,256 You attack a Saperstein, you face my wrath. 362 00:13:04,305 --> 00:13:06,547 Be so sure about this, Tiny Tom, 363 00:13:06,580 --> 00:13:09,606 that I will crush you like the bug you are... 364 00:13:10,904 --> 00:13:13,706 And there it is, the heartbeat. 365 00:13:13,755 --> 00:13:15,563 - Ohh. - Everything sounds perfect. 366 00:13:15,612 --> 00:13:16,637 Ohh. 367 00:13:16,654 --> 00:13:18,815 This is the moment we were dreaming of: 368 00:13:18,848 --> 00:13:21,874 you and me and our baby. 369 00:13:21,923 --> 00:13:25,237 And Tom and his weird feud with our doctor. 370 00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:26,903 So this after-school music program 371 00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,808 has been really successful in Pawnee, 372 00:13:28,826 --> 00:13:31,547 and we've expanded it to eight other towns in Indiana, 373 00:13:31,596 --> 00:13:33,646 but we feel with your help, we can... 374 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:35,888 Whoa! Are those... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 375 00:13:35,921 --> 00:13:37,089 Are those remote control helicopters? 376 00:13:37,138 --> 00:13:38,547 - Yeah. - What? 377 00:13:38,579 --> 00:13:40,229 I got them as a gift. 378 00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:42,263 I bought them for one of my nephews, 379 00:13:42,296 --> 00:13:43,511 - and then I decided to keep them. - Yeah. 380 00:13:43,528 --> 00:13:44,472 Would you like to play with them? 381 00:13:44,489 --> 00:13:46,202 Oh, would I? I call blue one! 382 00:13:46,219 --> 00:13:47,660 I call the... oh. 383 00:13:47,709 --> 00:13:49,021 Okay, you get the blue one. 384 00:13:49,054 --> 00:13:50,943 Andy, we are guests of Lord Covington. 385 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,929 Maybe you should let him... 386 00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:54,291 play with the blue helicopter. 387 00:13:54,340 --> 00:13:55,652 What are you talking about, dude? 388 00:13:55,685 --> 00:13:57,510 - I called it. - He called it. 389 00:13:57,542 --> 00:13:58,952 - That's the rule. - That's the rule. 390 00:13:58,984 --> 00:14:00,392 Anyway, the orange one's better. 391 00:14:00,410 --> 00:14:01,322 - What? - Come on. 392 00:14:01,354 --> 00:14:02,731 Aah! 393 00:14:03,741 --> 00:14:07,071 Hey, get off! 394 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:08,528 Okay, watch out! Watch out! 395 00:14:08,562 --> 00:14:09,489 - Agh! - Ohh! 396 00:14:09,523 --> 00:14:11,540 Dude, awesome. I think I broke mine! 397 00:14:11,573 --> 00:14:13,654 - Oh, bummer. - So, like, you... 398 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,464 your family owns all this stuff? 399 00:14:15,512 --> 00:14:16,953 Well, no, not everything. 400 00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:19,612 We own that building, 401 00:14:19,644 --> 00:14:22,574 that one, that house, that round thing, 402 00:14:22,624 --> 00:14:24,144 that one. 403 00:14:24,193 --> 00:14:25,665 We don't own that. 404 00:14:25,683 --> 00:14:27,715 Oh, no, actually, we do own that. 405 00:14:27,732 --> 00:14:29,398 What else does your family own? 406 00:14:29,431 --> 00:14:32,008 Well, um, have you heard of Scotland? 407 00:14:32,025 --> 00:14:33,225 As I was saying, 408 00:14:33,258 --> 00:14:35,275 we've really made this music program work 409 00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,005 in Indiana, and we think, 410 00:14:37,039 --> 00:14:39,728 with your help, we could turn this 411 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,329 into a wide-reaching international program. 412 00:14:41,346 --> 00:14:42,547 Oh, you know what I want? 413 00:14:42,580 --> 00:14:44,148 Ice cream. Do you guys have that here, ice cream? 414 00:14:44,181 --> 00:14:45,478 Oh, it's so good. You have to get it. 415 00:14:45,511 --> 00:14:47,592 It's, like, scoops, and it comes on a cone. 416 00:14:47,641 --> 00:14:48,761 - Yeah. - Do you have that here? 417 00:14:48,794 --> 00:14:49,914 - We have it. Of course we... - You have it? 418 00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:50,923 Where do you think you are, the moon? 419 00:14:51,981 --> 00:14:54,463 - That'd be awesome if we were. - Yeah. 420 00:14:54,495 --> 00:14:56,608 Can we get some? Could we... 421 00:14:56,625 --> 00:14:59,107 do... could we have some? 422 00:14:59,141 --> 00:15:00,068 Could we? 423 00:15:00,102 --> 00:15:02,023 Sure. 424 00:15:02,055 --> 00:15:03,624 Yeah. 425 00:15:03,656 --> 00:15:05,754 - Let's go. - Just what do I do with this? 426 00:15:05,787 --> 00:15:07,948 Just throw it there. Roger will pick it up. 427 00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:09,582 Oh. 428 00:15:09,599 --> 00:15:11,840 "So I long for a day 429 00:15:11,873 --> 00:15:13,745 "when women in government will simply be seen 430 00:15:13,762 --> 00:15:16,116 "as people in government, but until then, 431 00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:18,566 "I will work to make Pawnee, my wonderful hometown, 432 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:19,928 as good as it can be." 433 00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:21,049 What do you think? 434 00:15:21,082 --> 00:15:23,227 I think you should lose the first line 435 00:15:23,261 --> 00:15:25,374 and the last line and all of the other lines, 436 00:15:25,406 --> 00:15:27,696 and instead, just walk up to the mic 437 00:15:27,728 --> 00:15:30,579 and meow really loudly for eight minutes. 438 00:15:30,611 --> 00:15:32,933 Okay, this trip is amazing, 439 00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:34,855 but I miss Pawnee, you know? 440 00:15:34,887 --> 00:15:36,328 I want to know what's happening there. 441 00:15:36,345 --> 00:15:39,500 One little news blast wouldn't hurt. 442 00:15:40,653 --> 00:15:42,415 Welcome to The Final Word With Perd. 443 00:15:42,432 --> 00:15:44,208 Ms. Pinewood, there is a thing you are doing, 444 00:15:44,241 --> 00:15:46,546 and that thing is you are leading a recall vote 445 00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:49,237 against Councilwoman Knope, and you say you have 446 00:15:49,270 --> 00:15:51,239 new, shocking allegations about her. 447 00:15:51,272 --> 00:15:52,953 What? What now? 448 00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,603 Perd, I take no pleasure in reporting this, 449 00:15:54,635 --> 00:15:56,124 but it must come to light. 450 00:15:56,157 --> 00:15:58,607 We are here, trying to make Pawnee better, 451 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,641 and where is Leslie Knope? 452 00:16:00,674 --> 00:16:04,517 She's gallivanting around Europe like some kind of European. 453 00:16:04,549 --> 00:16:06,247 How... how did they get that picture so... 454 00:16:06,279 --> 00:16:07,208 Facebook. 455 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:08,296 - But I just put... - Facebook. 456 00:16:08,330 --> 00:16:10,299 - But isn't it a... - Facebook. 457 00:16:10,331 --> 00:16:12,861 Apparently, she can't be bothered to stay here in Pawnee, 458 00:16:12,894 --> 00:16:15,696 not when there's Europe to gallivant around in. 459 00:16:15,728 --> 00:16:16,657 Well, we conducted 460 00:16:16,689 --> 00:16:18,931 a Perd poll and asked this question: 461 00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:26,907 48% said she should not be in Europe, 462 00:16:26,939 --> 00:16:28,653 17% say it's okay, 463 00:16:28,686 --> 00:16:29,934 and 35% said 464 00:16:29,967 --> 00:16:32,704 they were confused by the way the question was posed. 465 00:16:32,721 --> 00:16:34,466 Oh, my God. 466 00:16:36,297 --> 00:16:37,392 You're leaving tonight? 467 00:16:37,507 --> 00:16:38,706 I can't believe there's even a flight? 468 00:16:38,821 --> 00:16:40,203 Well, not to Indiana, 469 00:16:40,318 --> 00:16:41,599 but there's a 9:00 red-eye to Lisbon, 470 00:16:41,631 --> 00:16:43,136 and then I can catch the 4:30 A.M. 471 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,520 back to Edinburgh, connect through Houston, 472 00:16:45,635 --> 00:16:47,325 head on up to Cincinnati and then rent a car, 473 00:16:47,410 --> 00:16:48,089 drive around 90, 474 00:16:48,204 --> 00:16:49,472 and I'll be home two hours earlier 475 00:16:49,482 --> 00:16:52,460 than if I flew home as planned. Easy breezy! 476 00:16:52,493 --> 00:16:53,677 Leslie, I can't believe I'm saying this, 477 00:16:53,710 --> 00:16:56,288 but I do not think you should leave Europe right now. 478 00:16:56,321 --> 00:16:58,786 You flew all this way. Have some perspective. 479 00:16:58,819 --> 00:17:01,028 You have some perspective! 480 00:17:01,077 --> 00:17:02,643 I'm sorry. 481 00:17:02,758 --> 00:17:04,312 Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm stressed. 482 00:17:04,345 --> 00:17:05,625 Okay, I need to calm down. 483 00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:07,498 Let's go walk past Colin Firth's house again. 484 00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:09,469 Ugh, who is that? 485 00:17:09,502 --> 00:17:11,727 Hold up. My dad said that? 486 00:17:11,776 --> 00:17:12,704 Yeah, Jean-Ralphio. 487 00:17:12,737 --> 00:17:15,586 He told me that I had screwed you 488 00:17:15,604 --> 00:17:16,916 - out of my business... - What? 489 00:17:16,965 --> 00:17:18,214 So he was gonna screw me back. 490 00:17:18,247 --> 00:17:20,136 Any idea why he'd believe such a thing? 491 00:17:20,168 --> 00:17:21,865 That is so weird. 492 00:17:21,897 --> 00:17:24,076 That is so... oh, you know what? 493 00:17:24,108 --> 00:17:26,654 Honestly, now that I'm thinking about it, this may be it. 494 00:17:26,703 --> 00:17:29,104 I actually told him that Rent-A-Swag was my idea 495 00:17:29,138 --> 00:17:31,474 and that you had stole it from me. 496 00:17:31,507 --> 00:17:32,404 Why would you say that? 497 00:17:32,436 --> 00:17:34,134 Because my dad is always riding me 498 00:17:34,166 --> 00:17:35,495 for never having a job, 499 00:17:35,528 --> 00:17:37,016 and I just didn't want to show that I blew it again. 500 00:17:37,034 --> 00:17:40,027 Oh... and I don't know if this is relevant... 501 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,117 - Hmm. - But I told him 502 00:17:41,149 --> 00:17:42,446 that you made me sign up 503 00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,544 for a bunch of credit cards and then max them out 504 00:17:44,576 --> 00:17:47,106 by buying illegal white jaguar fur coats. 505 00:17:47,139 --> 00:17:48,644 That's probably not relevant, though. 506 00:17:48,677 --> 00:17:49,557 It's probably not relevant, though. 507 00:17:49,606 --> 00:17:50,566 - I don't know... - I guess... 508 00:17:50,599 --> 00:17:53,353 All this lying about me stops now! 509 00:17:53,385 --> 00:17:55,050 - Hmm. - This is my life. 510 00:17:55,084 --> 00:17:57,165 Please, one of you has to tell him the truth. 511 00:17:57,198 --> 00:17:58,093 - Not it! - Not it! 512 00:17:58,127 --> 00:18:00,144 Ooh, you got me! Whoa ho! 513 00:18:00,176 --> 00:18:01,184 Uh-oh, uh-oh! 514 00:18:01,217 --> 00:18:03,315 - Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. - Uh-oh. 515 00:18:03,347 --> 00:18:05,076 Okay, fine. You know what? 516 00:18:05,094 --> 00:18:06,630 I'm gonna do the unthinkable. 517 00:18:06,663 --> 00:18:08,024 I'm gonna have a short, 518 00:18:08,056 --> 00:18:10,233 honest conversation with my father. 519 00:18:10,266 --> 00:18:11,675 Thank you. 520 00:18:18,483 --> 00:18:20,372 Oh, that's a big cheering section. 521 00:18:20,405 --> 00:18:22,742 Okay, that's Khongordzol, from Mongolia. 522 00:18:22,775 --> 00:18:25,913 She grew up in a hut that was entirely made of ice and mud, 523 00:18:25,962 --> 00:18:28,316 then she became their mayor, then their police chief 524 00:18:28,365 --> 00:18:30,061 and their best Wolverine Wrangler. 525 00:18:30,094 --> 00:18:32,223 I love her. 526 00:18:32,272 --> 00:18:34,995 Oh, hi. You must be Leslie Knope. 527 00:18:35,027 --> 00:18:36,532 I'm Ulee Danssen. I'm one of the honorees. 528 00:18:36,565 --> 00:18:38,822 Wow, look at your face. 529 00:18:38,855 --> 00:18:40,263 What? 530 00:18:40,312 --> 00:18:42,714 - It's just so symmetrical. - Oh, thanks! 531 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,203 You know, we all have that in Denmark. 532 00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:45,741 Oh, you're from Denmark, of course. 533 00:18:45,774 --> 00:18:47,023 Wow, what part of Denmark are you from? 534 00:18:47,055 --> 00:18:48,544 I'm from Silkeborg. You know. 535 00:18:48,577 --> 00:18:50,594 It's not one of the most perfect places in the world, 536 00:18:50,611 --> 00:18:53,060 but I love it, and it loves me. 537 00:18:53,094 --> 00:18:54,742 And look what they've done for me. 538 00:18:54,775 --> 00:18:56,824 - They made a statue of you! - Yes. 539 00:18:56,873 --> 00:18:59,082 Wow. Is that goat cheese? 540 00:18:59,116 --> 00:19:00,251 Good cheese eye, Leslie. 541 00:19:00,285 --> 00:19:01,484 It is made out of goat cheese. 542 00:19:01,501 --> 00:19:03,631 We have a lot of it, and after tonight's event, 543 00:19:03,664 --> 00:19:06,242 they're going to consume me with crackers. 544 00:19:06,274 --> 00:19:09,973 They just love me. What about your town? 545 00:19:10,006 --> 00:19:11,671 Well, Pawnee, Indiana, 546 00:19:11,704 --> 00:19:13,384 is a wonderful town, 547 00:19:13,434 --> 00:19:14,922 and I love it, but they hate me. 548 00:19:14,971 --> 00:19:16,412 And they're trying to kick me out of office. 549 00:19:16,445 --> 00:19:19,551 One time, they made a pinata of my face, 550 00:19:19,584 --> 00:19:20,890 and then everybody in the town came 551 00:19:20,897 --> 00:19:22,482 and took turns hitting it with a stick, 552 00:19:22,531 --> 00:19:24,323 and they filled it with broccoli, 553 00:19:24,341 --> 00:19:25,701 just to add insult to injury... 554 00:19:25,734 --> 00:19:27,383 but politics... 555 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:28,552 you know what I mean, right? 556 00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:30,714 I don't, no. 557 00:19:33,838 --> 00:19:35,423 So you're from Mongolia? 558 00:19:36,977 --> 00:19:38,962 Will you take me with you when you go back there? 559 00:19:39,924 --> 00:19:40,852 I love you. 560 00:19:40,884 --> 00:19:42,021 Hmm. 561 00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:44,584 Did you understand that? 562 00:19:44,633 --> 00:19:46,313 Did you bring any wolverines? 563 00:19:49,566 --> 00:19:51,055 Say it again. Say it again. 564 00:19:51,087 --> 00:19:52,656 Alu-min-ium. 565 00:19:52,705 --> 00:19:53,985 Okay, okay. 566 00:19:54,018 --> 00:19:55,363 You say it. You say it. You say it. 567 00:19:55,396 --> 00:19:56,483 It's "alumilum." 568 00:19:56,516 --> 00:19:57,765 - "Alumilum"? - Okay. 569 00:19:57,798 --> 00:19:59,383 - Alumilum! - Uh, Eddie... 570 00:19:59,415 --> 00:20:01,465 if you'd like me to talk more about the program, 571 00:20:01,497 --> 00:20:03,354 - I would be happy to... - Mm-hmm. 572 00:20:03,388 --> 00:20:05,917 But my wife is receiving an award in just a few minutes, 573 00:20:05,966 --> 00:20:06,862 and I really need to get over there. 574 00:20:06,896 --> 00:20:07,823 Yes, of course. 575 00:20:07,856 --> 00:20:10,578 The thing is, 576 00:20:10,611 --> 00:20:12,515 I don't know what I'm doing. 577 00:20:12,549 --> 00:20:13,765 - Me neither. - I'm sorry? 578 00:20:13,798 --> 00:20:16,167 My family has a huge amount of money. 579 00:20:16,201 --> 00:20:19,707 We live in a castle that has 1,000 acres of land. 580 00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:21,966 Our hedge maze is so vast, 581 00:20:21,998 --> 00:20:24,320 once, I got lost in there for two days. 582 00:20:24,352 --> 00:20:25,440 What? That's awesome. 583 00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:26,690 It was awesome. 584 00:20:26,722 --> 00:20:28,660 There was a statue of a lion inside, 585 00:20:28,709 --> 00:20:30,277 and I found a yo-yo. 586 00:20:30,311 --> 00:20:31,478 Well, do you... do you have it here? 587 00:20:31,527 --> 00:20:33,320 - Guys... - The point is, 588 00:20:33,353 --> 00:20:36,091 I started this foundation in order to do something good 589 00:20:36,140 --> 00:20:37,389 with our money, 590 00:20:37,422 --> 00:20:39,871 and I've heard hundreds of charity pitches, 591 00:20:39,904 --> 00:20:43,811 and I honestly don't know whether they're good or bad. 592 00:20:43,860 --> 00:20:47,351 If I may, ours... is great. 593 00:20:47,384 --> 00:20:49,240 Brilliant! I'm in. 594 00:20:49,274 --> 00:20:51,354 What? Are you serious? 595 00:20:51,387 --> 00:20:53,805 Yeah. I like you, I like music. 596 00:20:53,854 --> 00:20:55,135 On one condition: 597 00:20:55,167 --> 00:20:57,665 I want you to stay here in London with me 598 00:20:57,698 --> 00:20:59,987 for no more than three months, 599 00:21:00,036 --> 00:21:01,845 to help me get it up and running 600 00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:03,607 and tell me what to do. 601 00:21:03,656 --> 00:21:05,257 Oh, well, that actually may be tough. 602 00:21:05,289 --> 00:21:06,506 I mean, my wife is in the middle 603 00:21:06,538 --> 00:21:07,723 of this recall fight, and I really need to... 604 00:21:07,756 --> 00:21:11,119 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, I meant Andy. 605 00:21:11,151 --> 00:21:14,930 I want Andy to stay. 606 00:21:14,947 --> 00:21:18,549 Is that a goose that just flew by the window? 607 00:21:18,566 --> 00:21:21,689 Oh, it's a plastic bag. Did you see that? 608 00:21:21,722 --> 00:21:23,803 Wait, did I interrupt? 609 00:21:23,836 --> 00:21:24,780 What are you guys talking about? 610 00:21:24,829 --> 00:21:26,029 Let's see if it was a goose. 611 00:21:26,078 --> 00:21:28,752 I think it could have been, honest to God. 612 00:21:28,801 --> 00:21:30,593 Silkeborg is wonderful, 613 00:21:30,610 --> 00:21:32,963 and I am very supported and loved. 614 00:21:32,981 --> 00:21:34,501 Once, on my birthday, the town 615 00:21:34,534 --> 00:21:36,840 trained a reindeer to do a dance for me. 616 00:21:36,872 --> 00:21:40,844 It was beautiful, and the reindeer was delicious. 617 00:21:43,151 --> 00:21:44,720 - Hey. - Hey! 618 00:21:44,753 --> 00:21:46,225 How was your meeting? 619 00:21:46,242 --> 00:21:48,804 Good. I'll fill you in later. 620 00:21:48,853 --> 00:21:49,845 Are you ready for your speech? 621 00:21:49,878 --> 00:21:52,085 Uh... yeah. Yeah. 622 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:53,131 Thank you, Ulee. 623 00:21:53,246 --> 00:21:57,405 It is so inspiring to hear stories of powerful women 624 00:21:57,438 --> 00:22:00,015 who are held in high esteem by their hometowns. 625 00:22:00,064 --> 00:22:02,465 Now, from the hometown of Pawnee, Indiana, 626 00:22:02,482 --> 00:22:04,564 in the United States, 627 00:22:04,613 --> 00:22:05,604 Leslie Knope. 628 00:22:12,269 --> 00:22:14,557 First let me say, 629 00:22:14,606 --> 00:22:16,880 it is a true honor to be here among these amazing women. 630 00:22:16,897 --> 00:22:19,714 You all inspire me with your accomplishments 631 00:22:19,748 --> 00:22:22,230 and the things you have done for your hometowns 632 00:22:22,262 --> 00:22:24,375 and the things your hometowns have done for you. 633 00:22:24,392 --> 00:22:27,354 I mean, they're just truly... 634 00:22:29,293 --> 00:22:31,807 You know, I've been a public servant for a long time. 635 00:22:31,839 --> 00:22:34,305 And you know how I spend my days? 636 00:22:34,338 --> 00:22:36,580 Cleaning slime out of rivers 637 00:22:36,612 --> 00:22:39,719 and removing slugs from people's front yards. 638 00:22:39,752 --> 00:22:42,009 And I love my town, but you know how they repay me? 639 00:22:42,042 --> 00:22:43,690 By hating me. 640 00:22:43,724 --> 00:22:45,885 They hate me. They want to recall me. 641 00:22:45,934 --> 00:22:48,303 I wish I could move to Silkeborg 642 00:22:48,337 --> 00:22:50,097 and dance with a reindeer. 643 00:22:50,130 --> 00:22:51,250 You're always welcome in Silkeborg! 644 00:22:51,268 --> 00:22:54,293 Olga, let's start a statue of Leslie. 645 00:22:54,310 --> 00:22:55,991 See? They like me in Silkeborg 646 00:22:56,024 --> 00:22:58,265 more than my own hometown, and I've never even been there. 647 00:22:58,298 --> 00:23:01,596 I love Pawnee, but sometimes it sucks. 648 00:23:01,630 --> 00:23:03,551 The people can be very mean and ungrateful, 649 00:23:03,584 --> 00:23:04,640 and they cling 650 00:23:04,673 --> 00:23:08,356 to their fried dough and their big sodas, 651 00:23:08,388 --> 00:23:11,046 and then they get mad at me when their pants don't fit. 652 00:23:11,079 --> 00:23:12,551 You know, I'm sick of it. 653 00:23:12,568 --> 00:23:16,204 Pawnee is filled with a bunch of pee-pee-heads. 654 00:23:17,406 --> 00:23:18,685 Thank you very much for this amazing award. 655 00:23:18,734 --> 00:23:19,646 I'm sorry I said "pee-pee-heads." 656 00:23:20,656 --> 00:23:23,731 Whoo! 657 00:23:23,764 --> 00:23:25,380 That's my boss! 658 00:23:27,431 --> 00:23:29,702 That speech was a little rough, don't you think? 659 00:23:29,817 --> 00:23:31,700 Whatever, it's how I feel. 660 00:23:31,930 --> 00:23:33,532 Stupid, ungrateful town. 661 00:23:33,647 --> 00:23:35,117 Plus, you said it yourself: 662 00:23:35,150 --> 00:23:36,478 We're 4,000 miles away. 663 00:23:39,522 --> 00:23:41,747 - Hello. - Leslie, it's Jerry. 664 00:23:41,796 --> 00:23:42,948 Jerry who? 665 00:23:42,981 --> 00:23:44,070 Gergich. 666 00:23:44,087 --> 00:23:45,207 Jer... oh, Jerry. 667 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:46,681 Jerry, why are you calling me? 668 00:23:46,713 --> 00:23:48,490 I don't want to waste my international minutes. 669 00:23:48,523 --> 00:23:51,901 Leslie, your speech was webcast, here in Pawnee. 670 00:23:51,935 --> 00:23:53,231 Everyone saw it. 671 00:23:53,248 --> 00:23:54,928 What do you mean, "everyone"? 672 00:23:54,962 --> 00:23:57,010 I had organized a big viewing party, 673 00:23:57,043 --> 00:23:58,036 you know, to support you, 674 00:23:58,068 --> 00:23:59,541 and, well, now that Kathryn Pinewood lady, 675 00:23:59,558 --> 00:24:00,727 she's already pounced. 676 00:24:00,759 --> 00:24:03,657 She's calling it the... "Pee-pee-head" speech. 677 00:24:03,690 --> 00:24:05,467 - Bloody hell, Jerry! - So how's Lond... 678 00:24:06,910 --> 00:24:09,023 I just never thought that I would get 679 00:24:09,056 --> 00:24:10,496 to make this announcement. 680 00:24:10,529 --> 00:24:12,609 It's a very special day. 681 00:24:12,628 --> 00:24:13,636 Okay. 682 00:24:13,668 --> 00:24:15,606 Hi, Donna. 683 00:24:15,638 --> 00:24:16,615 So... 684 00:24:16,647 --> 00:24:17,576 You're pregnant. 685 00:24:17,608 --> 00:24:19,465 Oh, man, Tom told you. 686 00:24:19,498 --> 00:24:20,394 Nope. 687 00:24:20,427 --> 00:24:21,755 You're drinking decaf coffee, 688 00:24:21,804 --> 00:24:23,417 which you usually only do in the afternoon, 689 00:24:23,438 --> 00:24:24,847 you're wearing an empire-waist dress 690 00:24:24,879 --> 00:24:27,441 and loose shoes 'cause your feet are already swelling. 691 00:24:27,474 --> 00:24:29,395 I'd put you at nine, maybe ten weeks. 692 00:24:29,428 --> 00:24:30,773 My goodness, you're observant. 693 00:24:30,805 --> 00:24:32,534 Yes, I am. Yes, I am. 694 00:24:32,567 --> 00:24:36,201 Hmm. When did you make the switch to boxer briefs? 695 00:24:36,235 --> 00:24:38,524 Yesterday. 696 00:24:38,556 --> 00:24:41,183 Okay, please stop looking at him. 697 00:24:41,216 --> 00:24:43,457 Why are we here? 698 00:24:43,490 --> 00:24:45,523 Just thought you needed some fresh air, 699 00:24:45,556 --> 00:24:47,445 even if that air is filled with the foul stench 700 00:24:47,494 --> 00:24:49,640 of European socialism. 701 00:24:49,672 --> 00:24:51,914 You know, I know I am supposed to feel bad 702 00:24:51,946 --> 00:24:54,732 about what I said, but I do not. 703 00:24:54,765 --> 00:24:56,782 Pawnee has really been pissing me off lately. 704 00:24:56,816 --> 00:24:59,153 Leslie, for God's sake, you're the adult here. 705 00:24:59,186 --> 00:25:01,042 When your kid screams "I hate you," 706 00:25:01,075 --> 00:25:03,733 you don't sink to his level and yell "I hate you" back. 707 00:25:03,766 --> 00:25:05,303 You have to be the grown-up. 708 00:25:05,336 --> 00:25:06,712 You're right. I know. 709 00:25:06,745 --> 00:25:08,234 I have to be the grown-up. 710 00:25:08,266 --> 00:25:11,100 But it's so hard! Ron! 711 00:25:11,134 --> 00:25:12,511 God! 712 00:25:12,543 --> 00:25:14,384 And nobody ever thanks you. 713 00:25:14,433 --> 00:25:15,873 You choose a thankless job, 714 00:25:15,891 --> 00:25:17,812 you can't be upset when nobody thanks you. 715 00:25:17,861 --> 00:25:20,101 And by the way, April thanked you. 716 00:25:20,134 --> 00:25:22,023 She nominated you for this award. 717 00:25:22,056 --> 00:25:23,273 Well, April does that all the time. 718 00:25:23,306 --> 00:25:26,012 She nominated Ann for Motocross Driver of the Year award 719 00:25:26,061 --> 00:25:27,693 just so she could get a rejection letter. 720 00:25:27,726 --> 00:25:29,343 April respects you, 721 00:25:29,392 --> 00:25:32,082 and so do many others. 722 00:25:32,115 --> 00:25:34,115 Don't start chasing applause and acclaim. 723 00:25:34,164 --> 00:25:36,502 That way lies madness. 724 00:25:38,168 --> 00:25:40,025 Oh, I almost forgot. 725 00:25:40,058 --> 00:25:42,908 I finally got you a proper wedding gift, 726 00:25:42,925 --> 00:25:44,654 part one of many. 727 00:25:44,687 --> 00:25:46,304 A train ticket? 728 00:25:46,337 --> 00:25:48,594 You think I want to extend my stay 729 00:25:48,627 --> 00:25:50,195 on this godforsaken continent? 730 00:25:50,229 --> 00:25:51,606 Yes, you do. 731 00:25:51,638 --> 00:25:53,735 If you follow that itinerary to the letter, 732 00:25:53,768 --> 00:25:56,794 I promise you, you will not be disappointed. 733 00:25:56,827 --> 00:25:58,956 Well, I would offer to buy you a drink, 734 00:25:58,990 --> 00:26:00,334 but where the hell would that even happen? 735 00:26:00,367 --> 00:26:02,112 This is London, Ron. 736 00:26:02,144 --> 00:26:04,738 There's a pub over there, there's a pub over there, 737 00:26:04,787 --> 00:26:05,939 there's a pub between those two butcher shops. 738 00:26:05,957 --> 00:26:07,285 Let's go to that one, 739 00:26:07,318 --> 00:26:10,728 but we'll be stopping in those two butcher shops first. 740 00:26:10,761 --> 00:26:12,138 Hey, Jerry. 741 00:26:12,171 --> 00:26:13,979 I didn't know you were working today. 742 00:26:14,012 --> 00:26:15,817 Yeah, Ron asked me to come in while he's away. 743 00:26:15,838 --> 00:26:18,063 Of course, I had to cancel my cardiologist appoint... 744 00:26:18,097 --> 00:26:19,489 That's great. 745 00:26:19,521 --> 00:26:21,091 Now, here's a piece of information that is interesting. 746 00:26:21,124 --> 00:26:23,670 Ann is pregnant, and it's my baby. 747 00:26:23,719 --> 00:26:25,592 Oh, my God, that's wonderful news! 748 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:27,289 Oh, there's so much in front of you. 749 00:26:27,321 --> 00:26:28,682 I mean, soon you're gonna start showing, 750 00:26:28,699 --> 00:26:30,412 and then your clothes will feel tight, and then, 751 00:26:30,444 --> 00:26:34,272 oh, people are gonna start rubbing your tummy all the time! 752 00:26:34,304 --> 00:26:35,954 That sounds terrible. 753 00:26:35,986 --> 00:26:37,859 Well, Gayle, she got really queasy, 754 00:26:37,892 --> 00:26:39,654 and I gained a lot of sympathy weight. 755 00:26:39,703 --> 00:26:42,264 Yeah. You know, actually, before my kids, 756 00:26:42,296 --> 00:26:43,497 I looked a lot like you, Chris. 757 00:26:43,530 --> 00:26:45,755 I'm very sad. Please stop talking. 758 00:26:45,788 --> 00:26:47,646 And, of course, pretty soon, Ann, 759 00:26:47,678 --> 00:26:49,455 your milk is gonna come in. 760 00:26:49,504 --> 00:26:51,793 - Ohh. - That is exciting. 761 00:26:51,826 --> 00:26:52,866 Mmm. 762 00:26:56,295 --> 00:26:58,167 Yep, and it happens sooner than you'd think. 763 00:26:58,217 --> 00:26:59,368 The babies can sense it. 764 00:26:59,385 --> 00:27:00,618 You would be shocked, 765 00:27:00,651 --> 00:27:02,957 'cause they are rooting around for that nipple. 766 00:27:02,989 --> 00:27:04,606 Mm, mm. Gimme, gimme. Mm, mm, mm. 767 00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,896 I want milk! Mm, mm, mm, mm. Ohh. 768 00:27:06,929 --> 00:27:08,546 Life is a miracle. 769 00:27:08,579 --> 00:27:10,436 Mm, mm, mm. 770 00:27:10,469 --> 00:27:12,919 So it's kind of awesome that the Lord Fancyface Guy 771 00:27:12,951 --> 00:27:14,216 wants you to stay. 772 00:27:14,249 --> 00:27:15,257 Yeah, I guess. 773 00:27:15,290 --> 00:27:17,050 I mean, I can't do it, obviously. 774 00:27:17,068 --> 00:27:18,540 Why? 775 00:27:18,589 --> 00:27:20,478 I don't even know what I would be doing. 776 00:27:20,510 --> 00:27:21,647 I mean, besides, this is England. 777 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,321 Everything is so weird. It's all different. 778 00:27:24,354 --> 00:27:26,724 Yeah, like how they drive on the other side of the road. 779 00:27:26,757 --> 00:27:27,733 Do they? 780 00:27:27,766 --> 00:27:29,672 I'll be damned. 781 00:27:29,704 --> 00:27:31,385 Yeah, like that. 782 00:27:31,434 --> 00:27:33,355 That's what I'm... exactly what I'm talking about. 783 00:27:33,388 --> 00:27:34,508 Or like the Piccadilly Circus we went to? 784 00:27:34,525 --> 00:27:35,757 Not even a circus. 785 00:27:35,790 --> 00:27:38,256 There's no elephants, there was no cotton candy, 786 00:27:38,288 --> 00:27:40,290 there's no clowns. 787 00:27:40,339 --> 00:27:41,491 One bearded lady. 788 00:27:41,524 --> 00:27:43,140 She got all rude when I marveled at her. 789 00:27:43,174 --> 00:27:45,591 Do you like the Lord Fancyface Guy? 790 00:27:45,624 --> 00:27:46,712 Oh, he's awesome. 791 00:27:46,745 --> 00:27:47,913 He's everything you would want in a boss. 792 00:27:47,962 --> 00:27:50,844 I mean, remote control helicopters, talks funny. 793 00:27:50,877 --> 00:27:52,078 Total package. 794 00:27:52,127 --> 00:27:53,599 I think you should do it. 795 00:27:53,616 --> 00:27:55,681 When are you gonna have another opportunity like this? 796 00:27:55,698 --> 00:27:56,642 - I mean... - And, plus, 797 00:27:56,659 --> 00:27:58,083 we can deal with the distance, okay? 798 00:27:58,100 --> 00:28:00,854 Remember, I was in Washington last year. 799 00:28:00,903 --> 00:28:02,583 He said he wanted me to head up the company. 800 00:28:02,587 --> 00:28:04,809 I have no idea how to run a nonprofit. 801 00:28:04,827 --> 00:28:06,251 Hey. 802 00:28:06,269 --> 00:28:07,373 You shined shoes 803 00:28:07,390 --> 00:28:10,624 for over two years and never made a profit. 804 00:28:11,586 --> 00:28:13,907 Come on, you can hack this. 805 00:28:13,940 --> 00:28:16,662 I believe in you. 806 00:28:16,679 --> 00:28:18,520 But to replace you, I am going to have to build 807 00:28:18,553 --> 00:28:21,274 a scarecrow replica of you and take it to the movies. 808 00:28:21,307 --> 00:28:24,157 Seems like the only logical solution. 809 00:28:30,173 --> 00:28:32,349 My point is, Ethel, that 810 00:28:33,074 --> 00:28:33,930 Ann's pregnant. 811 00:28:34,346 --> 00:28:35,883 And I'm the baby daddy! 812 00:28:35,998 --> 00:28:37,519 How wonderful for you. 813 00:28:37,634 --> 00:28:39,283 You don't seem very excited for us. 814 00:28:39,316 --> 00:28:40,932 I barely know you, 815 00:28:40,965 --> 00:28:42,537 and I don't have 816 00:28:42,653 --> 00:28:46,233 to talk to you unless it's about work. 817 00:28:46,267 --> 00:28:48,034 Man, I thought this would be more satisfying. 818 00:28:48,044 --> 00:28:49,533 I agree. 819 00:28:49,566 --> 00:28:51,503 Wait a minute, what time is it? 820 00:28:51,536 --> 00:28:53,761 Has she landed yet? 821 00:28:53,794 --> 00:28:55,830 Oh, I'm so happy for you guys! 822 00:28:55,945 --> 00:28:58,923 Ohh, this is the greatest day in the history of days. 823 00:28:58,955 --> 00:29:00,077 This day, a thousand years from now, 824 00:29:00,109 --> 00:29:01,549 will be celebrated as the beginning 825 00:29:01,583 --> 00:29:03,471 of a new and better human race. 826 00:29:03,504 --> 00:29:04,721 I am so happy for you, I'm never letting you go. 827 00:29:04,754 --> 00:29:05,915 I am not gonna let you go. 828 00:29:06,031 --> 00:29:07,069 Oh, oh, oh, eventually, 829 00:29:07,184 --> 00:29:08,364 she's going to have to go back to work. 830 00:29:08,427 --> 00:29:09,595 Are you sure you should be working? 831 00:29:09,628 --> 00:29:11,773 I mean, you should be resting and getting fluids and... 832 00:29:11,806 --> 00:29:13,727 and cold compresses and greasy foods. 833 00:29:13,776 --> 00:29:14,977 That's for a hangover. 834 00:29:15,026 --> 00:29:15,910 Right, yeah, of course. 835 00:29:15,939 --> 00:29:16,937 I'm so goofed-up right now. 836 00:29:16,948 --> 00:29:17,956 I'm so jet-lagged. 837 00:29:17,988 --> 00:29:19,236 I took a sleeping pill on the plane, 838 00:29:19,285 --> 00:29:20,518 and then I changed my mind, 839 00:29:20,567 --> 00:29:21,975 so I took this thing called "Zapvigil," 840 00:29:22,009 --> 00:29:23,336 which, apparently, is what 841 00:29:23,385 --> 00:29:25,066 Israeli fighter pilots use to stay awake. 842 00:29:25,099 --> 00:29:28,126 So right now, it looks like I'm talking to a giant crab. 843 00:29:28,159 --> 00:29:29,359 Stay away from me, crab! 844 00:29:29,408 --> 00:29:30,592 I'm just kidding. 845 00:29:30,609 --> 00:29:31,681 I know it's Ann. 846 00:29:31,714 --> 00:29:33,379 We are so glad you're back. 847 00:29:33,412 --> 00:29:35,268 We talked to, like, 50 people, and, frankly, 848 00:29:35,301 --> 00:29:36,229 not one of them gave us 849 00:29:36,262 --> 00:29:37,399 the reaction that we were hoping for. 850 00:29:37,448 --> 00:29:38,536 And your reaction, 851 00:29:38,569 --> 00:29:40,137 from someone we love so much, 852 00:29:40,170 --> 00:29:41,980 I mean, it just makes up for all the other ones. 853 00:29:42,029 --> 00:29:43,629 - Ohh. - Anyway, welcome home! 854 00:29:43,646 --> 00:29:44,975 Don't pinch me! 855 00:29:45,008 --> 00:29:47,345 Thank you all for coming, and let me just say 856 00:29:47,378 --> 00:29:49,987 how truly, deeply trill it is 857 00:29:50,021 --> 00:29:53,431 to be standing in this dope-ass conference room, 858 00:29:53,464 --> 00:29:54,424 addressing a group of people in a business meeting. 859 00:29:54,457 --> 00:29:55,705 It's really a dream come true. 860 00:29:55,738 --> 00:29:58,844 Right now, I want to turn the floor over to Jean-Ralphio, 861 00:29:58,878 --> 00:30:00,974 who has something to say. 862 00:30:04,179 --> 00:30:06,917 Tom, lawyer guy... 863 00:30:06,949 --> 00:30:08,566 daddy... 864 00:30:08,615 --> 00:30:10,456 Tom did not screw me out of the company. 865 00:30:10,489 --> 00:30:12,426 He gave me every opportunity to jump in 866 00:30:12,459 --> 00:30:14,748 at the ground floor, and I said no, 867 00:30:14,797 --> 00:30:16,558 not because I thought it was a bad idea, 868 00:30:16,591 --> 00:30:19,505 but because... and this is very important... 869 00:30:19,538 --> 00:30:22,484 I really didn't care about what was happening. 870 00:30:22,517 --> 00:30:24,854 So why, exactly, did you lie 871 00:30:24,887 --> 00:30:26,344 when I asked you what had happened? 872 00:30:26,377 --> 00:30:29,307 Daddy-D! Daddy, come on, I lie to you all the time! 873 00:30:29,339 --> 00:30:31,004 All those math camps I said I went to? 874 00:30:31,037 --> 00:30:33,455 I don't even know what a math camp is! 875 00:30:33,488 --> 00:30:35,906 So all those postcards that you sent me, 876 00:30:35,938 --> 00:30:38,035 all those trophies that you'd won... 877 00:30:43,370 --> 00:30:45,307 I also have something to say. 878 00:30:45,356 --> 00:30:48,045 I have done nothing wrong, 879 00:30:48,079 --> 00:30:50,223 ever, in my life. 880 00:30:50,257 --> 00:30:52,338 I know this... 881 00:30:52,371 --> 00:30:53,635 and I love you. 882 00:30:53,668 --> 00:30:54,996 I love you too, daddy. 883 00:30:55,029 --> 00:30:56,887 Money, please! 884 00:30:56,919 --> 00:30:58,536 My money. 885 00:30:58,568 --> 00:31:01,786 Dr. Saperstein, your son is my best friend. 886 00:31:01,804 --> 00:31:03,148 - Yeah. - He's like a brother to me. 887 00:31:03,166 --> 00:31:04,606 But he's a disaster, 888 00:31:04,639 --> 00:31:07,136 and your daughter seriously needs to be locked up 889 00:31:07,169 --> 00:31:08,578 in some sort of insane asylum. 890 00:31:08,611 --> 00:31:10,036 - Mm. - On an island... 891 00:31:10,068 --> 00:31:11,268 - Ooh. - In space. 892 00:31:12,743 --> 00:31:16,473 These two have been huge disappointments to me. 893 00:31:16,507 --> 00:31:18,380 Come on, you love us. 894 00:31:18,413 --> 00:31:20,990 Tell me you love us, and then admit this guy 895 00:31:21,039 --> 00:31:22,272 looks like Beaker from the Muppets. 896 00:31:22,321 --> 00:31:24,241 Dad! 897 00:31:24,258 --> 00:31:25,779 Me, me, me, me, me, me, me! 898 00:31:25,812 --> 00:31:27,621 But seriously, what are we doing here, though? 899 00:31:27,654 --> 00:31:28,662 - What are we doing here, dad? - Like, what is this? 900 00:31:28,679 --> 00:31:29,943 - Why are we here? - So... 901 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,042 So... 902 00:31:32,091 --> 00:31:33,210 now you know the truth. 903 00:31:33,243 --> 00:31:34,331 Will you back off? 904 00:31:34,364 --> 00:31:35,869 No, I will not stop. 905 00:31:35,902 --> 00:31:38,912 Yes, this all started as vengeance for my children, 906 00:31:38,945 --> 00:31:41,283 but the company is making money now. 907 00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:43,182 Why would I back off just 'cause these nincompoops 908 00:31:43,206 --> 00:31:44,822 lie to me all the time? 909 00:31:44,871 --> 00:31:46,952 No, I'm not gonna back off. 910 00:31:46,985 --> 00:31:49,787 I'm gonna continue, and I'm gonna crush you! 911 00:31:49,820 --> 00:31:51,661 All right, you two, 912 00:31:51,694 --> 00:31:53,076 are you in for dinner tomorrow night? 913 00:31:53,103 --> 00:31:54,704 - Yes! - Yes, daddy. 914 00:31:54,737 --> 00:31:55,681 Huh? Blow me a kiss. 915 00:31:55,714 --> 00:31:56,722 Mwah! 916 00:31:56,755 --> 00:31:57,763 - Mwah. - Caught it. 917 00:31:57,812 --> 00:31:58,724 I love you, daddy! 918 00:31:58,757 --> 00:31:59,893 - Me too. - I love you, daddy! 919 00:31:59,926 --> 00:32:02,424 Hey, are you gonna be okay with Andy gone? 920 00:32:02,456 --> 00:32:03,993 Yeah, we'll be fine. 921 00:32:04,026 --> 00:32:06,043 Are you gonna be okay with Ben still here? 922 00:32:06,077 --> 00:32:07,052 - April... - What? 923 00:32:07,086 --> 00:32:09,103 I don't trust him. I never have. 924 00:32:09,135 --> 00:32:11,504 - He's after your money. - Hey, Gretel! 925 00:32:11,538 --> 00:32:13,987 Hello, it's me, City Councilwoman Leslie Knope. 926 00:32:14,004 --> 00:32:16,486 And me, Odie the dog, Garfield's enemy. 927 00:32:16,519 --> 00:32:19,177 Now, we have some great news: we were in London, 928 00:32:19,209 --> 00:32:21,739 and we met a wonderful woman from Mongolia. 929 00:32:21,772 --> 00:32:23,000 Yeah, her name was Khongordzol, 930 00:32:23,021 --> 00:32:24,958 and I love her more than anything in the world. 931 00:32:24,992 --> 00:32:27,969 Khongordzol and... Odie, here, were emailing, 932 00:32:28,018 --> 00:32:30,660 and she recommended a very humane way 933 00:32:30,709 --> 00:32:32,021 to get rid of slugs. 934 00:32:32,038 --> 00:32:34,280 You sprinkle coffee grounds on the affected area, 935 00:32:34,328 --> 00:32:37,179 and it drives the slugs away. Isn't that great? 936 00:32:37,211 --> 00:32:38,940 I didn't want all the slugs gone. 937 00:32:38,973 --> 00:32:40,414 I wanted most of them gone! 938 00:32:40,447 --> 00:32:42,912 Sorry. Well, we'll put one slug back. 939 00:32:42,945 --> 00:32:45,154 Either way, your problem is solved. 940 00:32:45,187 --> 00:32:46,884 Oh, my God, that lady is the worst. 941 00:32:46,917 --> 00:32:48,886 She didn't even say thank you. 942 00:32:48,935 --> 00:32:50,600 That's not why we do this, April. 943 00:32:50,617 --> 00:32:52,384 We do it because it's good and it helps people, 944 00:32:52,411 --> 00:32:53,771 not to get the applause. 945 00:32:53,804 --> 00:32:55,229 Yeah, but doesn't that bum you out? 946 00:32:55,261 --> 00:32:57,311 Well, sure, it would be nice if just one person 947 00:32:57,344 --> 00:33:00,497 appreciated my work, at all. 948 00:33:00,514 --> 00:33:01,875 But that's the job... 949 00:33:01,908 --> 00:33:05,462 wiping slime and shoveling slugs. 950 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:08,345 All right. On to the next complaint. 951 00:33:21,976 --> 00:33:25,498 Where the hell are you sending me, Knope? 952 00:33:29,053 --> 00:33:30,230 Morning, cutie. 953 00:33:30,345 --> 00:33:31,518 Morning, Jessica. 954 00:33:31,550 --> 00:33:32,192 Whoa. 955 00:33:32,307 --> 00:33:34,355 These were a gift from your British friend, 956 00:33:34,471 --> 00:33:35,722 Lord Edgar Covington. 957 00:33:35,830 --> 00:33:37,517 He was very impressed with you two. 958 00:33:37,632 --> 00:33:39,633 He sounded rich on the phone. 959 00:33:39,666 --> 00:33:42,692 I think he was calling me from a helicopter. 960 00:33:42,726 --> 00:33:43,990 Could be. He owns two. 961 00:33:45,304 --> 00:33:47,065 So Andy's gonna stay there for three months. 962 00:33:47,097 --> 00:33:48,314 I hope he's okay. 963 00:33:48,347 --> 00:33:49,531 He sent me an email this morning. 964 00:33:49,564 --> 00:33:50,933 I guess he got on the wrong train 965 00:33:51,048 --> 00:33:53,231 on the way to work and got lost. 966 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:55,521 Yeah, this isn't right. 967 00:33:55,554 --> 00:33:58,372 None of this looks familiar. 968 00:34:00,182 --> 00:34:02,392 Eddie? 969 00:34:02,441 --> 00:34:04,122 Uh-oh, Spaghettios. 970 00:34:04,171 --> 00:34:06,218 Oh, don't worry, I'm sure he'll adjust. 971 00:34:06,333 --> 00:34:08,543 No, I named that dog Spaghettios, 972 00:34:08,592 --> 00:34:10,096 and he just pooped in your briefcase. 973 00:34:10,129 --> 00:34:11,954 Oh, my. Okay. 974 00:34:11,986 --> 00:34:13,523 Come on, Sugarbutt! 975 00:34:13,556 --> 00:34:14,981 Oh, which one's Sugarbutt? 976 00:34:15,014 --> 00:34:16,790 That's you! Come on. 977 00:34:16,824 --> 00:34:18,616 We got a board meeting, Sugarbutt. 978 00:34:19,370 --> 00:34:21,964 Wildly inappropriate. 979 00:34:22,013 --> 00:34:23,790 Do you think there's any chance your dad will give up? 980 00:34:23,822 --> 00:34:24,751 I doubt it. 981 00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:26,240 He never gives up on anything, 982 00:34:26,273 --> 00:34:27,329 except for my mom. 983 00:34:27,362 --> 00:34:30,052 When she turned 30, he was like, "Get out!" 984 00:34:30,069 --> 00:34:32,663 Maybe I should just throw in the towel. 985 00:34:32,712 --> 00:34:34,280 Your dad'll destroy me. I'll be left with nothing. 986 00:34:34,313 --> 00:34:36,202 Thought I was a better-looking version of Zuckerberg. 987 00:34:36,235 --> 00:34:38,765 Turns out I'm the better-looking version of the Winklevoss twins. 988 00:34:38,797 --> 00:34:40,783 First of all, unbelievable analogy. 989 00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:42,224 Second of all, what are you talking about, man? 990 00:34:42,257 --> 00:34:44,482 You're Tommy Haverford! You're an idea man. 991 00:34:44,515 --> 00:34:45,908 When Babyface was your age, 992 00:34:45,941 --> 00:34:47,509 he hadn't even signed Toni Braxton yet, 993 00:34:47,542 --> 00:34:49,736 let alone Usher. 994 00:34:49,768 --> 00:34:52,570 You're right. I mean, I'm basically Babyface. 995 00:34:52,588 --> 00:34:54,188 You're basically Babyface! 996 00:34:54,237 --> 00:34:57,279 Okay, I'm gonna keep going, and I'm gonna beat your dad. 997 00:34:57,312 --> 00:34:58,928 That's what I'm talking about! 998 00:34:58,977 --> 00:35:00,802 And for me, it's a win-win either way. 999 00:35:00,836 --> 00:35:02,789 Either my best friend emerges triumphant, 1000 00:35:02,821 --> 00:35:06,008 or my dad beats you, and I get all that money when he dies. 1001 00:35:06,041 --> 00:35:06,937 I'm actually getting dinner with my dad right now. 1002 00:35:06,986 --> 00:35:08,778 - You want to come? - No! 1003 00:35:08,795 --> 00:35:10,925 I mean, this is all 1004 00:35:10,957 --> 00:35:13,055 pretty overwhelming, you know? 1005 00:35:13,088 --> 00:35:14,864 You know what I just read? 1006 00:35:14,898 --> 00:35:18,485 Right now, our baby is the size of a green olive. 1007 00:35:18,517 --> 00:35:20,582 Isn't that wild? 1008 00:35:20,616 --> 00:35:21,783 It is. 1009 00:35:21,817 --> 00:35:23,946 A green olive. 1010 00:35:23,995 --> 00:35:25,564 A little high in sodium. 1011 00:35:25,596 --> 00:35:27,245 I would have preferred a chickpea or a cherry tomato. 1012 00:35:27,294 --> 00:35:29,567 - Our baby's not a salad. - Yes, right. 1013 00:35:29,584 --> 00:35:31,809 It's just weird, you know? 1014 00:35:31,843 --> 00:35:35,430 I mean, for so long, this little green olive 1015 00:35:35,462 --> 00:35:37,111 was just our thing, 1016 00:35:37,144 --> 00:35:38,969 and now it's everyone's thing. 1017 00:35:39,002 --> 00:35:40,842 Every time Jerry looks at me, 1018 00:35:40,859 --> 00:35:43,470 he's thinking about... the milk in my boobs. 1019 00:35:43,502 --> 00:35:46,753 It's still just our thing. 1020 00:35:46,802 --> 00:35:49,651 It'll always be just our thing. 1021 00:35:49,684 --> 00:35:52,790 That's why it's so wonderful and why we'll love it so much. 1022 00:35:56,924 --> 00:35:59,421 You know, Olive's kind of a cute name, if it's a girl. 1023 00:35:59,455 --> 00:36:00,830 I prefer "Chickpea." 1024 00:36:00,864 --> 00:36:01,904 Because it's lower in sodium? 1025 00:36:01,952 --> 00:36:04,130 - Yes, exactly. - Okay. 1026 00:36:06,053 --> 00:36:07,974 - Hey. - Hey. 1027 00:36:08,006 --> 00:36:09,351 Are you leaving? 1028 00:36:09,384 --> 00:36:11,305 Well, I just have to get a jump start on my next phase. 1029 00:36:11,338 --> 00:36:15,469 Let's see, it is "48-Hour Roadkill Scrape-athon." 1030 00:36:15,487 --> 00:36:16,766 Oh, brother. 1031 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:19,088 Okay, well, before you go, I have something for you. 1032 00:36:19,121 --> 00:36:20,866 I feel like you're getting sad 1033 00:36:20,900 --> 00:36:23,237 about how stupid and lame people are, 1034 00:36:23,270 --> 00:36:25,928 and that is my job, not yours. 1035 00:36:25,976 --> 00:36:29,339 So I'm gonna read this letter to you, out loud, 1036 00:36:29,372 --> 00:36:30,668 but if you hug me afterwards, 1037 00:36:30,717 --> 00:36:31,966 I swear to God, I'll scream 1038 00:36:31,999 --> 00:36:34,128 and pull my hair out and maybe punch you in the face. 1039 00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:35,970 - Okay? - Okay. 1040 00:36:36,003 --> 00:36:38,148 Please sit. 1041 00:36:39,446 --> 00:36:41,127 "Dear award committee members..." 1042 00:36:42,217 --> 00:36:44,458 Leslie, I didn't even start. 1043 00:36:44,491 --> 00:36:45,787 Okay, I'm sorry. 1044 00:36:45,821 --> 00:36:47,101 Go ahead. 1045 00:36:47,150 --> 00:36:48,350 "Dear award committee members, 1046 00:36:48,383 --> 00:36:51,313 "where I live, there are a lot of apathetic people, 1047 00:36:51,345 --> 00:36:53,362 "people who don't care at all about what they do 1048 00:36:53,380 --> 00:36:54,452 "or how they do it. 1049 00:36:54,485 --> 00:36:56,054 "They let the world wash over them 1050 00:36:56,087 --> 00:36:57,976 "and barely notice anyone else is even there. 1051 00:36:58,009 --> 00:37:00,826 "Leslie Knope is not one of these people. 1052 00:37:00,844 --> 00:37:04,574 "She cares about everything and everyone in our town. 1053 00:37:04,607 --> 00:37:05,856 "I don't know how she does it. 1054 00:37:05,888 --> 00:37:07,826 "People come to her with the pettiest, 1055 00:37:07,858 --> 00:37:09,139 "stupidest problems, 1056 00:37:09,188 --> 00:37:11,749 "and she cares... like, really, actually cares... 1057 00:37:11,783 --> 00:37:12,983 "what happens to them. 1058 00:37:13,016 --> 00:37:15,529 "And if you're lucky enough to be her friend, 1059 00:37:15,561 --> 00:37:18,492 "your life gets better every day. 1060 00:37:18,541 --> 00:37:20,382 "She spends every waking moment thinking 1061 00:37:20,432 --> 00:37:22,672 "of new ways to make her friends happy. 1062 00:37:22,705 --> 00:37:24,802 "There is something wonderful about seeing someone 1063 00:37:24,835 --> 00:37:26,516 "who has found her true purpose on earth. 1064 00:37:26,533 --> 00:37:29,078 "For some people, I guess that's being an astronaut 1065 00:37:29,096 --> 00:37:31,369 "or a hot dog-eating champion. 1066 00:37:31,418 --> 00:37:35,133 "For Leslie, her true purpose on earth, her true meaning, 1067 00:37:35,166 --> 00:37:38,528 "is making people's lives better. 1068 00:37:38,545 --> 00:37:40,546 "That's what I love about her, 1069 00:37:40,579 --> 00:37:44,582 "and that's why she deserves this award. 1070 00:37:44,615 --> 00:37:45,704 "Sincerely... 1071 00:37:45,736 --> 00:37:47,465 Satan." 1072 00:37:47,498 --> 00:37:49,147 You're getting hugged right now. 1073 00:37:49,196 --> 00:37:50,380 No, I told you not to. 1074 00:37:50,397 --> 00:37:52,751 - I'm giving you a hug. - No! Stay away! No! 1075 00:37:54,652 --> 00:37:57,090 All my life I've avoided Europe 1076 00:37:57,205 --> 00:37:59,646 and its multitudes of terribleness. 1077 00:37:59,761 --> 00:38:02,178 But it turns out, much to my surprise, 1078 00:38:02,211 --> 00:38:04,260 there is actually one place in Europe 1079 00:38:04,293 --> 00:38:06,743 that is worth seeing: 1080 00:38:06,776 --> 00:38:09,738 these tiny islands off the coast of Scotland, 1081 00:38:09,771 --> 00:38:12,300 where God's chosen elixirs are distilled, 1082 00:38:12,349 --> 00:38:14,398 barreled, and prepared for consumption. 1083 00:38:14,432 --> 00:38:18,226 This is worth the trip. 1084 00:38:18,275 --> 00:38:20,388 "Dear Ron, 1085 00:38:20,421 --> 00:38:22,279 "you have now reached the cliffsides 1086 00:38:22,311 --> 00:38:23,960 "overlooking the islands. 1087 00:38:23,993 --> 00:38:27,003 "As you sit here and gaze upon the waters, 1088 00:38:27,036 --> 00:38:29,117 "please read out loud the poem 1089 00:38:29,166 --> 00:38:31,213 "by the great Scotsman Robert Burns. 1090 00:38:31,328 --> 00:38:32,759 Love, Leslie." 1091 00:38:34,451 --> 00:38:37,368 "Oh, were my love yon lilac fair, 1092 00:38:37,490 --> 00:38:40,132 "with purple blossoms to the spring, 1093 00:38:40,165 --> 00:38:43,207 "and I, a bird to shelter there, 1094 00:38:43,256 --> 00:38:45,978 "when wearied on my little wing, 1095 00:38:46,011 --> 00:38:48,861 "how I would mourn when it was torn 1096 00:38:48,894 --> 00:38:51,968 "by autumn wild and winter rude, 1097 00:38:51,985 --> 00:38:54,979 "but I would sing on wanton wing, 1098 00:38:55,012 --> 00:38:58,534 when youthful may its bloom renewed." 1099 00:38:58,649 --> 00:39:04,281 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 1100 00:39:04,397 --> 00:39:07,359 I don't know what she thought I'd get out of that. 1101 00:39:09,603 --> 00:39:11,956 - Nice to be home. - It is. 1102 00:39:11,988 --> 00:39:14,518 But I mean, I love Pawnee, I will always love Pawnee, 1103 00:39:14,551 --> 00:39:15,879 but London is amazing. 1104 00:39:15,928 --> 00:39:18,603 And Silkeborg sounds amazing, 1105 00:39:18,652 --> 00:39:20,284 and Mongolia sounds amazing. 1106 00:39:20,316 --> 00:39:22,606 Their mayor is a professional Wolverine Wrangler. 1107 00:39:22,655 --> 00:39:24,320 Fine, Mongolia sounds terrifying, 1108 00:39:24,337 --> 00:39:25,970 but the world is a very big place, 1109 00:39:26,019 --> 00:39:27,731 and I've seen very little of it. 1110 00:39:27,780 --> 00:39:31,063 Maybe we should travel more, expand our horizons. 1111 00:39:31,096 --> 00:39:33,176 You know, I've had the same kinds of thoughts. 1112 00:39:33,225 --> 00:39:36,011 We should keep that in mind, see where it leads us. 1113 00:39:36,029 --> 00:39:37,293 Yeah. 1114 00:39:37,310 --> 00:39:38,542 Oh, there's one more thing I want to try. 1115 00:39:38,575 --> 00:39:39,503 Mm. 1116 00:39:39,536 --> 00:39:40,976 I got you something in London: 1117 00:39:40,994 --> 00:39:42,627 a traditional barrister's wig. 1118 00:39:42,676 --> 00:39:45,029 - Oh. - Wear it for me. 1119 00:39:45,078 --> 00:39:46,759 - Yeah? - Mm-hmm. 1120 00:39:46,791 --> 00:39:48,664 All right. 1121 00:39:51,725 --> 00:39:52,781 What's up? 1122 00:39:52,813 --> 00:39:54,398 No, not sexy. 1123 00:39:54,431 --> 00:39:55,387 Failed experiment. Take it off. 1124 00:39:55,502 --> 00:39:57,115 - Okay, just... okay. - Just take it off. No.