1 00:00:10,363 --> 00:00:13,094 Are you getting ready with Andy in London? 2 00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:14,353 You look lovely. 3 00:00:14,387 --> 00:00:15,822 I'm going to murder you a thousand times. 4 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:17,174 Okay. 5 00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:19,963 What the hell? 6 00:00:28,449 --> 00:00:29,933 Oh, my God. 7 00:00:32,540 --> 00:00:34,343 Stop singing! Kiss me! 8 00:00:34,377 --> 00:00:36,964 Oh, my God! What are you doing here? 9 00:00:36,982 --> 00:00:38,401 Just missed you so bad, honey, 10 00:00:38,435 --> 00:00:40,338 I bought myself a ticket home. 11 00:00:40,372 --> 00:00:44,346 You're never gonna need that computer again 12 00:00:44,380 --> 00:00:46,683 'cause I'm home for, like, 19 hours. 13 00:00:46,701 --> 00:00:48,954 This is so sweet. Just like the old days. 14 00:00:48,972 --> 00:00:50,642 Take a hike, Jerry. 15 00:00:50,693 --> 00:00:52,579 It's Larry now. 16 00:00:52,613 --> 00:00:53,998 Okay, take a hike, Larry. 17 00:01:05,836 --> 00:01:13,635 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 18 00:01:13,755 --> 00:01:15,308 Next order of business, 19 00:01:15,326 --> 00:01:19,065 Councilman Jamm proposes Bill 949-c. 20 00:01:19,099 --> 00:01:20,585 That's right, stretch, 21 00:01:20,619 --> 00:01:22,956 and looking mighty fly in that suit, brother. 22 00:01:22,990 --> 00:01:24,293 Okay, this excellent bill only allows 23 00:01:24,327 --> 00:01:26,463 someone to vote in a Pawnee election, 24 00:01:26,481 --> 00:01:29,386 for example, the upcoming recall election, 25 00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:32,191 if their I.D. lists an official Pawnee address. 26 00:01:32,242 --> 00:01:34,613 Really, councilman? Again? 27 00:01:34,647 --> 00:01:35,932 The recall election is coming up, 28 00:01:35,966 --> 00:01:38,504 and Jamm keeps trying to figure out ways to screw me over. 29 00:01:38,538 --> 00:01:41,025 Last week, he tried to have me listed on the ballot 30 00:01:41,043 --> 00:01:43,698 as "Leslie Buttface Hitler the Fourth." 31 00:01:43,732 --> 00:01:45,200 All you're trying to do is disenfranchise 32 00:01:45,234 --> 00:01:46,920 the people from former Eagleton, 33 00:01:46,955 --> 00:01:48,707 people who will most likely vote for me 34 00:01:48,725 --> 00:01:50,027 because I saved a lot of their jobs. 35 00:01:50,061 --> 00:01:51,647 I move that we table the discussion 36 00:01:51,665 --> 00:01:52,666 until after the election. 37 00:01:52,717 --> 00:01:53,651 - Second. - Thank you! 38 00:01:53,685 --> 00:01:54,720 - Ah! - I'm so sorry. 39 00:01:54,754 --> 00:01:57,409 I just get excited when you like me. 40 00:01:57,460 --> 00:02:00,465 I put my career on the line by saving Eagleton, 41 00:02:00,499 --> 00:02:02,201 and he's trying to rob me of their votes? 42 00:02:02,235 --> 00:02:03,287 Those are my votes. 43 00:02:03,322 --> 00:02:04,956 I've earned them! I want them! 44 00:02:05,008 --> 00:02:06,025 Give me those votes! 45 00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:07,779 I don't have them on me. 46 00:02:07,813 --> 00:02:09,683 I can't believe Jamm tried to pull that crap. 47 00:02:09,701 --> 00:02:11,002 I can. He's a horrible monster. 48 00:02:11,036 --> 00:02:12,455 But let's focus on the more important issue. 49 00:02:12,473 --> 00:02:14,693 You want to squeeze in one more practice session? 50 00:02:14,727 --> 00:02:17,532 Oh, do I? 51 00:02:17,550 --> 00:02:19,786 Tonight, I am throwing Ben his dream birthday party, 52 00:02:19,821 --> 00:02:23,009 a roller skating bash with an early '90s theme. 53 00:02:23,044 --> 00:02:25,130 Ben lives for the early '90s. 54 00:02:25,181 --> 00:02:27,184 The music, the fashion. It's his favorite era. 55 00:02:27,218 --> 00:02:29,856 As for the roller skating... 56 00:02:29,874 --> 00:02:31,927 I have a thing for women in skates. Okay? 57 00:02:31,961 --> 00:02:33,698 Everyone has a thing, and that's mine. 58 00:02:33,732 --> 00:02:36,119 As far as things go, it's pretty innocuous. 59 00:02:36,153 --> 00:02:39,843 Could be one of those dudes that kisses mannequins or whatever, 60 00:02:39,877 --> 00:02:42,899 but I like a woman in skates. 61 00:02:42,933 --> 00:02:44,970 A lot. 62 00:02:45,004 --> 00:02:48,394 Hey, Ann, Ann called. 63 00:02:48,428 --> 00:02:50,865 She wants her ugly outfit back. 64 00:02:50,883 --> 00:02:52,335 Why are you dressed as a pilgrim? 65 00:02:52,353 --> 00:02:54,906 Leslie said it was a "Come As You Were in the '90s" party. 66 00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:56,610 I assumed it was the 1690s. 67 00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:59,382 Babe, if it was the 1690s, we'd all be mummies. 68 00:02:59,416 --> 00:03:01,653 What do you think mummies are? 69 00:03:01,687 --> 00:03:02,655 Skeletons? 70 00:03:02,689 --> 00:03:04,008 - Oh, boy. - Hey. 71 00:03:04,042 --> 00:03:06,128 I just came straight from work, so I couldn't dress up. 72 00:03:06,146 --> 00:03:07,588 No problem. You look wiggidy-wiggidy- 73 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,001 wiggidy-wiggidy-wonderful. 74 00:03:09,035 --> 00:03:10,236 Wait a minute. Pants on backwards. 75 00:03:10,254 --> 00:03:13,444 Kris Kross, right? Nice! 76 00:03:13,478 --> 00:03:14,896 What happens when you have to pee? 77 00:03:14,947 --> 00:03:16,199 I actually just went. 78 00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:17,869 I had to pull my pants all the way to the ground 79 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,104 like a toddler. 80 00:03:20,309 --> 00:03:22,060 Nadia, the super hot doctor, 81 00:03:22,078 --> 00:03:23,564 has been hanging out with me for the last week. 82 00:03:23,582 --> 00:03:25,685 She's definitely out of my league. 83 00:03:25,719 --> 00:03:27,889 Actually, we're not even playing the same sport. 84 00:03:27,940 --> 00:03:29,826 It's kind of like she's in NBA 85 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:32,130 and I work at a muffler store next to the stadium. 86 00:03:32,165 --> 00:03:33,132 I can't believe we met just before 87 00:03:33,184 --> 00:03:34,386 you have to go on your stupid vacation. 88 00:03:34,420 --> 00:03:36,623 I'm doing doctors without borders, man. 89 00:03:36,658 --> 00:03:37,926 I'm going to Rwanda. 90 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,631 Exactly. That's a stupid vacation. 91 00:03:40,665 --> 00:03:43,287 Okay, well, why don't you win me that huge-ass bear 92 00:03:43,321 --> 00:03:44,789 as a going-away present? 93 00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:45,842 No problem. I'm a skee ball master. 94 00:03:45,876 --> 00:03:47,729 No way! Why don't you go pro? 95 00:03:47,763 --> 00:03:49,533 I don't know. I didn't want to be a cliche. 96 00:03:49,567 --> 00:03:51,803 Yet another professional Indian skee ball player? 97 00:03:51,838 --> 00:03:52,788 Right. 98 00:03:56,281 --> 00:03:58,533 Now that's what I call shooting. 99 00:03:58,552 --> 00:03:59,970 Is this a hunting game? 100 00:04:00,004 --> 00:04:01,022 Yeah, it's fun. You want to play? 101 00:04:01,073 --> 00:04:02,408 Indeed, I do. 102 00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:05,748 If you'd like, I could offer you some pointers. 103 00:04:05,766 --> 00:04:07,819 Hunting, Donna, 104 00:04:07,853 --> 00:04:11,426 is about silence, balance, and patience. 105 00:04:12,846 --> 00:04:14,148 Get ready. 106 00:04:17,573 --> 00:04:21,363 You know you're supposed to hit the deer, rig? 107 00:04:21,397 --> 00:04:23,984 Ugh! 108 00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:25,288 Get it together, Swanson. 109 00:04:25,322 --> 00:04:26,924 Well, the game is absurd. 110 00:04:26,958 --> 00:04:28,827 This gun is lightweight, there's no sight, 111 00:04:28,862 --> 00:04:30,665 and we are far too close to these deer. 112 00:04:30,699 --> 00:04:32,368 Would they not smell us? 113 00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:34,439 I want my money back. How do I get my quarters? 114 00:04:34,473 --> 00:04:36,509 Oh, my God! You are such a sore loser. 115 00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:37,488 I am not a sore loser. 116 00:04:37,496 --> 00:04:38,697 It's just that I prefer to win, 117 00:04:38,698 --> 00:04:40,801 and when I don't, I get furious. 118 00:04:40,836 --> 00:04:42,588 Employee! 119 00:04:44,225 --> 00:04:46,012 Whoa! Watch this. 120 00:04:46,046 --> 00:04:47,365 Oh, that was brilliant. 121 00:04:47,399 --> 00:04:49,335 Sorry. You probably don't know what that means. 122 00:04:49,353 --> 00:04:51,172 You know how you Americans say "cool" when something's cool? 123 00:04:51,206 --> 00:04:53,610 Over in London, we say, "That's brilliant." 124 00:04:53,628 --> 00:04:54,913 Speaking of London, 125 00:04:54,947 --> 00:04:56,416 you haven't told me anything about work. 126 00:04:56,434 --> 00:04:58,075 - You still love it? - Yeah, it's awesome. 127 00:04:58,103 --> 00:04:59,522 I'm kicking ass. 128 00:04:59,540 --> 00:05:01,826 I'm like Chuck Norris, only instead of crushing 129 00:05:01,844 --> 00:05:06,436 bad guys' skulls, I'm crushing documents. 130 00:05:06,470 --> 00:05:07,772 - that's great. - Yeah. 131 00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:09,609 Now be the Chuck Norris of making out with me. 132 00:05:09,627 --> 00:05:12,748 I'll karate punch your face with my tongue. 133 00:05:12,766 --> 00:05:16,072 - Prove it. - Hi-yah. 134 00:05:16,123 --> 00:05:17,642 Get this. 135 00:05:17,676 --> 00:05:19,896 I just asked the DJ what rem albums he has. 136 00:05:19,930 --> 00:05:23,871 He's got Monster, but not Automatic For the People. 137 00:05:23,905 --> 00:05:25,891 - Wow! - I know. 138 00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,478 It's like, what is this? A mid-'90s party? 139 00:05:27,513 --> 00:05:29,214 No. It's an early '90s party. 140 00:05:29,232 --> 00:05:31,068 Okay, Larry. Tell us how this looks. 141 00:05:31,119 --> 00:05:32,889 Ben wants to do a synchronized couple skate 142 00:05:32,923 --> 00:05:34,091 to Losing My Religion. 143 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,060 Hit it! 144 00:05:39,035 --> 00:05:41,506 Leslie! Leslie! Leslie! 145 00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:43,310 I'm sorry, but we have a problem. 146 00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:45,063 His name is Jeremy Jamm. 147 00:05:45,114 --> 00:05:46,366 Well, as noted in Article nine, Paragraph two... 148 00:05:46,417 --> 00:05:47,835 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 149 00:05:47,886 --> 00:05:49,722 Jamm, I thought this bill was tabled? 150 00:05:49,756 --> 00:05:52,645 Yes, and I called a special session and un-tabled it. 151 00:05:52,696 --> 00:05:54,916 What's up with the roller skates? 152 00:05:54,967 --> 00:05:57,305 I was about to attend a roller skating birthday party 153 00:05:57,339 --> 00:05:59,207 for my husband, but this is more important. 154 00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:01,195 Yeah, I don't care. I'm a blades guy. 155 00:06:01,229 --> 00:06:02,365 Point of order! 156 00:06:02,416 --> 00:06:04,034 The councilwoman wishes to speak on this issue. 157 00:06:04,085 --> 00:06:06,121 Will the councilwoman yield her time 158 00:06:06,139 --> 00:06:07,391 so we can vote on this sucker? 159 00:06:07,426 --> 00:06:09,395 No, I will not yield. 160 00:06:09,429 --> 00:06:12,250 Nor will I yield for the rest of the evening. 161 00:06:12,286 --> 00:06:13,353 A filibuster? 162 00:06:13,388 --> 00:06:15,341 Are you dookin' on my chest right now? 163 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,378 No! Gross! 164 00:06:17,412 --> 00:06:19,014 And yes, it's a filibuster. 165 00:06:19,048 --> 00:06:20,183 Okay? 166 00:06:20,217 --> 00:06:21,553 I am not willing to let you deprive me... 167 00:06:21,587 --> 00:06:23,624 She's filibustering on roller skates? 168 00:06:23,658 --> 00:06:26,111 She's gonna be strapped into those things for hours. 169 00:06:26,146 --> 00:06:27,648 I know this is a dire situation, 170 00:06:27,699 --> 00:06:28,901 but I swear to God, this is like 171 00:06:28,935 --> 00:06:30,988 a crazy sex fantasy for me. 172 00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:40,770 How goes it? 173 00:06:41,010 --> 00:06:43,715 Pretty good, except I suck at skee ball. 174 00:06:43,749 --> 00:06:45,469 Well, that's too bad, 'cause if you don't win me that bear, 175 00:06:45,503 --> 00:06:46,637 you're dead to me. 176 00:06:46,672 --> 00:06:48,074 Understood. 177 00:06:48,194 --> 00:06:50,076 Hey, man, how many tickets for that bear, again? 178 00:06:50,087 --> 00:06:53,443 - 40,000. - 40,000? Oh, brother. 179 00:06:53,477 --> 00:06:57,384 All right, you're gonna be my lookout for a second. 180 00:06:57,419 --> 00:06:58,853 Hey, is he allowed to do that? 181 00:06:58,888 --> 00:07:00,524 No! Get off the ramp, dude! 182 00:07:00,575 --> 00:07:02,795 Hey! You're supposed to be my lookout. 183 00:07:02,846 --> 00:07:04,598 I thought it'd be funnier to watch you get busted. 184 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:06,869 Hey, you're a doctor. You know snitches get stitches. 185 00:07:07,872 --> 00:07:09,675 I remember the first time I voted. 186 00:07:09,710 --> 00:07:12,246 I was in my bedroom, and I was five. 187 00:07:12,282 --> 00:07:14,602 I voted for Mildred, my stuffed pig, 188 00:07:14,636 --> 00:07:16,773 but my cat, pancakes, won. 189 00:07:16,807 --> 00:07:18,141 She had more funding. 190 00:07:18,159 --> 00:07:21,031 Politics, right? What are you gonna do? 191 00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:22,434 How long have I been talking? Three hours? 192 00:07:22,469 --> 00:07:23,553 No, eight minutes. Okay. 193 00:07:23,571 --> 00:07:25,523 Maybe you should yield the floor. 194 00:07:25,541 --> 00:07:26,592 Milton doesn't have a lot of time... 195 00:07:26,627 --> 00:07:27,961 left on earth. 196 00:07:27,979 --> 00:07:29,565 Hey, just kidding, bud. 197 00:07:29,599 --> 00:07:31,419 Will someone open my crackers? 198 00:07:31,453 --> 00:07:32,404 The session ends at 11:00 P.M. 199 00:07:32,422 --> 00:07:34,692 She has to talk the whole time. 200 00:07:34,726 --> 00:07:36,579 She can't lean on anything for support, 201 00:07:36,647 --> 00:07:38,283 and no one else can help her. 202 00:07:38,317 --> 00:07:40,102 Three strikes and she is done. 203 00:07:40,137 --> 00:07:41,656 This is literally 204 00:07:41,690 --> 00:07:43,326 the most exciting thing that I've ever seen. 205 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:44,295 I mean, think about it. 206 00:07:44,329 --> 00:07:45,480 Where else on earth would you rather 207 00:07:45,515 --> 00:07:46,832 spend your birthday with Leslie? 208 00:07:46,850 --> 00:07:48,686 Well, maybe the birthday party 209 00:07:48,721 --> 00:07:50,907 she's throwing for me right now. 210 00:07:50,925 --> 00:07:53,780 Everyone in Pawnee should have the right to vote. 211 00:07:53,814 --> 00:07:54,782 Whoa! 212 00:07:54,816 --> 00:07:56,786 As I dissect this important 213 00:07:56,820 --> 00:07:58,273 and profound statement, 214 00:07:58,307 --> 00:07:59,441 I'm just gonna take these off for a second. 215 00:07:59,476 --> 00:08:02,246 Bam, strike one. No sitting. 216 00:08:04,419 --> 00:08:05,854 Is the gong really necessary? 217 00:08:05,888 --> 00:08:08,309 Yes, it is. I love Chinese crap. 218 00:08:08,327 --> 00:08:10,847 Lucy Liu, Nintendo, Gangnam Style, 219 00:08:10,882 --> 00:08:13,251 sushi, et cetera, et cetera. 220 00:08:13,270 --> 00:08:15,122 Also, more importantly, it's in the rules. No sitting. 221 00:08:15,157 --> 00:08:16,375 Okay, fine. 222 00:08:16,410 --> 00:08:17,544 Well, the strike is worth it if I can take these off. 223 00:08:17,579 --> 00:08:19,331 Oh, man! 224 00:08:19,349 --> 00:08:21,352 Oh, my God! 225 00:08:21,403 --> 00:08:24,792 I had this exact bear when I was a kid! 226 00:08:24,826 --> 00:08:26,244 - Excuse me. - Uh-huh. 227 00:08:26,263 --> 00:08:27,648 How much does this bear cost? 228 00:08:27,682 --> 00:08:29,568 40,000 tickets. 229 00:08:29,603 --> 00:08:31,289 Okay, well, let's just assume that I'm an adult 230 00:08:31,323 --> 00:08:33,810 who doesn't have two weeks to play arcade games. 231 00:08:33,844 --> 00:08:36,349 What about 50 bucks? 232 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:37,951 Yeah. Just don't tell my boss. 233 00:08:37,986 --> 00:08:40,149 - What are you doing, Morris? - Nothing, Mr. Bonderman. 234 00:08:40,173 --> 00:08:42,895 - Tuck in your shirt. God! - Sorry. 235 00:08:42,946 --> 00:08:45,467 Oh! You feeling it? 236 00:08:50,126 --> 00:08:51,362 Wow. You suck at this. 237 00:08:51,380 --> 00:08:53,800 Donna, please back up two paces 238 00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:56,037 so I can physically destroy this machine. 239 00:08:56,072 --> 00:08:59,561 Can you chill a little, man? It's not real hunting. 240 00:08:59,596 --> 00:09:00,847 It's just a game. 241 00:09:00,881 --> 00:09:01,963 That you happen to suck at. 242 00:09:01,984 --> 00:09:04,120 You know what? That's a good point. 243 00:09:04,154 --> 00:09:05,757 What? That you suck at this? 244 00:09:05,791 --> 00:09:09,063 That it's not re hunting. Come with me. 245 00:09:11,403 --> 00:09:13,673 I don't want you to go back to London. 246 00:09:13,707 --> 00:09:15,749 Just remember, every time you look up at the moon, 247 00:09:15,778 --> 00:09:18,783 I, too, will be looking at a moon. 248 00:09:18,801 --> 00:09:20,920 Not the same moon, obviously. That's impossible. 249 00:09:20,938 --> 00:09:23,609 See you on stupid Skype. 250 00:09:26,048 --> 00:09:28,101 I'm proud of Andy. 251 00:09:28,136 --> 00:09:31,124 This is the first time he's really gone out on a limb. 252 00:09:31,175 --> 00:09:33,963 I knew if he found something that he actually liked doing, 253 00:09:33,998 --> 00:09:36,986 he'd be happy, so I'm... 254 00:09:38,957 --> 00:09:40,994 What the hell? Wha... 255 00:09:41,028 --> 00:09:44,901 Hey! Perkins! What are you doing with my bear? 256 00:09:44,919 --> 00:09:45,920 I've been playing skee ball for, like, two hours 257 00:09:45,955 --> 00:09:47,006 trying to win that for Nadia. 258 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:48,593 I just bought it for 50 bucks. 259 00:09:48,644 --> 00:09:49,745 When I was a kid, 260 00:09:49,779 --> 00:09:51,982 I taught myself how to make out on this bear, 261 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,519 pretended it was cockroach from The Cosby Show. 262 00:09:53,554 --> 00:09:56,942 Hey, what's going on here? Why does blossom have my bear? 263 00:09:56,993 --> 00:09:59,715 I bought it for myself, but apparently, 264 00:09:59,749 --> 00:10:01,318 he was trying to win it for you, so I'm sorry. 265 00:10:01,353 --> 00:10:02,470 I still got some tickets, though. 266 00:10:02,488 --> 00:10:04,575 I could get you, uh, a ninja turtle balloon 267 00:10:04,609 --> 00:10:06,796 or Cliffhanger on VHS. 268 00:10:06,830 --> 00:10:08,599 Oh, that's so sweet, 269 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,487 but you're basically offering me garbage. 270 00:10:10,521 --> 00:10:13,426 Let's just skate. 271 00:10:13,460 --> 00:10:15,382 That bear was the only thing she was gonna have 272 00:10:15,398 --> 00:10:16,649 to remember me by in Rwanda. 273 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:19,203 And if I know anything about Rwanda, and I don't, 274 00:10:19,237 --> 00:10:20,557 I bet it's full of rich guys 275 00:10:20,591 --> 00:10:22,059 who'll buy her whatever she wants. 276 00:10:27,187 --> 00:10:30,877 Hunting. No quarters required. 277 00:10:30,911 --> 00:10:33,164 Hang on. 278 00:10:33,182 --> 00:10:34,852 Do you have a license to hunt at night? 279 00:10:34,886 --> 00:10:37,741 'Cause you need a license. 280 00:10:44,756 --> 00:10:46,976 I thought you were serious. 281 00:10:47,010 --> 00:10:50,165 Come on now. You know I don't give a. 282 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:51,452 As Ronald Reagan would say, 283 00:10:51,486 --> 00:10:56,328 "Well, mommy, I believe voting rights are important." 284 00:10:56,363 --> 00:10:58,248 Does anyone else think it's hot in here? 285 00:10:58,283 --> 00:10:59,784 These overalls are really starchy. 286 00:10:59,802 --> 00:11:02,056 Yeah, maybe that's 'cause I turned up the heat to 90, 287 00:11:02,090 --> 00:11:04,745 and, uh, oh, the knob broke off in my hand. 288 00:11:04,796 --> 00:11:06,916 Oops. 289 00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:09,187 Well, speaking of heat, 290 00:11:09,221 --> 00:11:11,692 we should discuss America's white-hot passion 291 00:11:11,743 --> 00:11:13,479 for voting rights and the men and women 292 00:11:13,514 --> 00:11:14,464 who help protect them, 293 00:11:14,516 --> 00:11:16,268 like the local city councilwoman 294 00:11:16,319 --> 00:11:18,656 who is starving and thinking about her husband's 295 00:11:18,690 --> 00:11:20,192 Reservoir Dog- themed birthday cake 296 00:11:20,226 --> 00:11:21,160 and wanting to eat it really badly. 297 00:11:21,194 --> 00:11:23,014 Oh, this is not a good sign. 298 00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:25,470 Once she starts thinking about birthday cake, 299 00:11:25,504 --> 00:11:28,776 she's basically useless until she eats birthday cake. 300 00:11:28,794 --> 00:11:30,746 Democracy is not unlike a cake. 301 00:11:30,764 --> 00:11:33,569 It's layered, delicious, chocolate, and I want some. 302 00:11:33,620 --> 00:11:34,588 Okay, she's fading. 303 00:11:34,622 --> 00:11:36,425 Ben, we need to find a way to smuggle 304 00:11:36,459 --> 00:11:39,314 some mineral oil drops onto her tongue. 305 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,285 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Excuse me. 306 00:11:41,319 --> 00:11:42,770 What the hell are you people doing here? 307 00:11:42,788 --> 00:11:45,075 We represent the citizens of former Eagleton. 308 00:11:45,093 --> 00:11:46,612 We're here to support Leslie Knope 309 00:11:46,646 --> 00:11:48,372 for preserving our voting rights. 310 00:11:48,492 --> 00:11:49,684 Thank you! 311 00:11:49,702 --> 00:11:52,457 You are all warriors of democracy. 312 00:11:52,491 --> 00:11:56,147 You know, it was the first mayor of Pawnee, in 1817, 313 00:11:56,181 --> 00:11:59,203 who said, "All we have is the right to vote 314 00:11:59,237 --> 00:12:01,057 and the right to kill Indians without consequence." 315 00:12:01,091 --> 00:12:03,529 And I believe that half of that statement 316 00:12:03,580 --> 00:12:04,748 is still true today. 317 00:12:07,388 --> 00:12:08,339 All right! 318 00:12:08,390 --> 00:12:11,227 Second wind! 319 00:12:11,262 --> 00:12:13,949 Andy, I know you're in there. 320 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,972 Andy, come on. 321 00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:21,332 Oh, hey. 322 00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:23,469 I was just... 323 00:12:23,503 --> 00:12:26,275 just here in this dumpster 'cause I jumped in. 324 00:12:26,326 --> 00:12:28,663 Get out! We need to talk. 325 00:12:28,697 --> 00:12:30,583 About what? 326 00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:35,343 Fresh air, real weapons, an honest kill. 327 00:12:35,377 --> 00:12:39,551 There is no substitute for the real thing. 328 00:12:41,473 --> 00:12:43,626 You want to go back and play that video game, don't you? 329 00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:47,032 Yes! Damn it! 330 00:12:47,066 --> 00:12:50,423 It is so inspiring to see Eagletonians 331 00:12:50,474 --> 00:12:52,394 putting aside their prejudices. 332 00:12:52,428 --> 00:12:54,514 With support like this, Leslie Knope 333 00:12:54,548 --> 00:12:56,818 may stand a fighting chance on recall day. 334 00:12:56,836 --> 00:12:59,791 - Permission to hug you. - Granted. 335 00:12:59,825 --> 00:13:01,812 I should mention, though, 336 00:13:01,846 --> 00:13:03,349 that we're not voting to keep Leslie. 337 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,102 What? 338 00:13:05,136 --> 00:13:06,438 We want someone from Eagleton 339 00:13:06,472 --> 00:13:08,942 to represent our interests on the new city council. 340 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,281 Sir, I formally revoke our hug. 341 00:13:11,299 --> 00:13:13,051 Well, you can't. It happened. 342 00:13:13,085 --> 00:13:16,592 We stand on the side of Rosa Parks, 343 00:13:16,626 --> 00:13:19,798 and Gandhi, and Team Aniston. 344 00:13:19,816 --> 00:13:22,069 One small vote for Pawnee 345 00:13:22,103 --> 00:13:25,860 is one giant leap of voting for mankind. 346 00:13:25,911 --> 00:13:27,330 Hey! 347 00:13:27,364 --> 00:13:29,534 Hey, you're not allowed to receive help from the crowd. 348 00:13:29,585 --> 00:13:32,290 That's strike two. 349 00:13:32,324 --> 00:13:34,294 Hey, man, leave my gong alone. 350 00:13:34,328 --> 00:13:35,630 The reverb is the best part. 351 00:13:35,664 --> 00:13:37,350 If I save your right to vote, 352 00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:39,688 you're gonna vote for someone from Eagleton? 353 00:13:41,509 --> 00:13:44,005 Eagleton! Eagleton! 354 00:13:44,563 --> 00:13:46,000 Hey, Knope! Wrap it up! 355 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:47,029 I'm not gonna yield. 356 00:13:47,149 --> 00:13:49,055 I just... I need some time to think. 357 00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:51,961 And because I must keep talking, I'm gonna think out loud. 358 00:13:51,995 --> 00:13:55,452 Okay, if Eagletonians vote for someone else, 359 00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:59,220 then it would be in my best interest to stop, right? 360 00:13:59,556 --> 00:14:00,531 So they can't vote. 361 00:14:00,651 --> 00:14:02,955 Uh, da-doy. Yield. 362 00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:05,062 Or I keep going, 363 00:14:05,182 --> 00:14:08,316 because the right to vote is fundamental in any democracy, 364 00:14:08,427 --> 00:14:10,228 and this is bigger than me or anyone. 365 00:14:10,264 --> 00:14:12,066 I don't care if I lose. 366 00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:14,253 No one prevents people in my town from voting. 367 00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:15,523 Not on my watch. 368 00:14:15,557 --> 00:14:17,527 The filibuster is on! 369 00:14:17,561 --> 00:14:19,581 Yeah! 370 00:14:19,615 --> 00:14:20,883 Okay. 371 00:14:20,918 --> 00:14:22,069 I can't go back to London. 372 00:14:22,103 --> 00:14:25,192 I'm totally in over my head on this project. 373 00:14:25,226 --> 00:14:26,678 Every day, someone comes up to me and says, 374 00:14:26,713 --> 00:14:28,849 "I need your approval on this, Mr. Dwyer." 375 00:14:28,900 --> 00:14:30,453 "I need your signature, Mr. Dwyer." 376 00:14:30,504 --> 00:14:31,738 "That's not a toilet, Mr. Dwyer." 377 00:14:31,756 --> 00:14:34,110 But you said everything was going awesome. 378 00:14:34,144 --> 00:14:35,746 You said you were like Chuck Norris. 379 00:14:35,781 --> 00:14:37,283 I am, but I'm like Chuck Norris now... 380 00:14:37,301 --> 00:14:40,155 some old guy with a beard who used to be good at karate 381 00:14:40,189 --> 00:14:42,109 but became a dumb has-been 382 00:14:42,143 --> 00:14:45,232 and is scared and confused about his big London job. 383 00:14:45,267 --> 00:14:46,451 Okay. 384 00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,639 The parallels between he and I are very eerie. 385 00:14:48,673 --> 00:14:51,110 I'm gonna tell you a secret about everyone else's job. 386 00:14:51,145 --> 00:14:52,530 Okay. 387 00:14:52,581 --> 00:14:54,301 No one knows what they're doing. 388 00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:57,323 I don't know how to run an animal control department. 389 00:14:57,358 --> 00:14:59,344 Half the documents I get I put right into the shredder 390 00:14:59,378 --> 00:15:00,680 because they're so boring. 391 00:15:00,714 --> 00:15:02,767 But you seem like you do know what you're doing. 392 00:15:02,801 --> 00:15:04,036 Yeah, I seem like it. 393 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,508 Deep down, everyone is just faking it 394 00:15:06,526 --> 00:15:09,631 until they figure it out. 395 00:15:09,665 --> 00:15:11,568 And you will too, because you are awesome 396 00:15:11,603 --> 00:15:14,557 and everyone else sucks. 397 00:15:14,575 --> 00:15:18,849 - 30 minutes to go. - Oh, God, it's so hot. 398 00:15:18,884 --> 00:15:20,953 Almost as hot as the flames 399 00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:23,258 that Eagleton would have gone down in 400 00:15:23,310 --> 00:15:24,711 if I had not saved them. 401 00:15:29,153 --> 00:15:30,773 Mm, mm, mm. 402 00:15:30,807 --> 00:15:33,529 - That's... - How I know you would love 403 00:15:33,563 --> 00:15:37,102 an ice-cold frozen marg. 404 00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:39,240 All I want is the promise of democracy. 405 00:15:39,275 --> 00:15:40,376 Sure about that? 406 00:15:40,410 --> 00:15:42,430 - I want that marg. - I know you do. 407 00:15:42,481 --> 00:15:44,734 - I want that Margarita. - Oh, it's gonna be so good. 408 00:15:44,785 --> 00:15:46,521 So cold. It's so cold. 409 00:15:46,539 --> 00:15:49,143 - I want to drink it. - Make that heat go away! 410 00:15:49,177 --> 00:15:51,782 Come on, get! 411 00:15:51,816 --> 00:15:53,335 Come on, girl. Get! 412 00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,255 Give me that Margarita! 413 00:15:55,307 --> 00:15:58,579 No! I want votes. 414 00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,922 Excuse me, worker, 415 00:16:03,940 --> 00:16:06,026 bring me a bucket of beers and four hot dogs. 416 00:16:06,044 --> 00:16:07,028 Please, and thank you. 417 00:16:07,046 --> 00:16:09,049 Why are you covered in blood? 418 00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:11,020 Don't worry. It's not human. 419 00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:13,325 I hope you've made peace with your God, 420 00:16:13,376 --> 00:16:15,379 small electronic deer. 421 00:16:15,414 --> 00:16:17,350 Kill it. 422 00:16:17,384 --> 00:16:19,169 Ann, I need that bear. 423 00:16:19,204 --> 00:16:20,956 I got to give Nadia something awesome 424 00:16:20,990 --> 00:16:22,510 so she'll remember me when she's in Africa. 425 00:16:22,544 --> 00:16:26,451 Tom, bear or no bear, she clearly likes you. 426 00:16:26,502 --> 00:16:28,839 Actually, how do you even get girls like her... 427 00:16:28,873 --> 00:16:30,426 or me... to go out with you? 428 00:16:30,460 --> 00:16:32,095 Scientists say the emotions of love and hate 429 00:16:32,146 --> 00:16:33,214 are very close to each other. 430 00:16:33,248 --> 00:16:34,417 That's what I tell women. 431 00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:36,671 The point is, she's leaving in two days. 432 00:16:36,706 --> 00:16:38,726 You want her to remember you? 433 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:39,728 Go spend time with her 434 00:16:39,762 --> 00:16:41,581 and do something memorable, dummy! 435 00:16:41,616 --> 00:16:43,051 Thanks, Ann. 436 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:44,704 I know conversations like this are hard for you 437 00:16:44,722 --> 00:16:46,223 'cause you still have feelings for me, 438 00:16:46,258 --> 00:16:47,860 but you'll land on your feet, kid. 439 00:16:47,911 --> 00:16:50,433 - Run or I punch you. - No punchies! 440 00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:54,357 Okay, bye for real this time. 441 00:16:57,330 --> 00:16:58,599 Wait, wait, wait. 442 00:16:58,633 --> 00:17:00,319 I made you five bologna sandwiches 443 00:17:00,370 --> 00:17:01,755 in case you get hungry on the way to the airport. 444 00:17:01,789 --> 00:17:02,873 Did you... 445 00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:04,394 Yes, I used cookies instead of bread. 446 00:17:04,428 --> 00:17:06,531 You think of everything. I love you. 447 00:17:06,566 --> 00:17:08,869 Love you too. 448 00:17:13,763 --> 00:17:16,066 Are you kidding me? 449 00:17:16,084 --> 00:17:19,089 - Andy! - Ha! Ha! Found it! 450 00:17:19,140 --> 00:17:21,644 I got... I left my wallet in here earlier, I guess. 451 00:17:21,662 --> 00:17:23,832 Whoo! All good now. 452 00:17:23,883 --> 00:17:25,752 Ooh, look! Noodles! 453 00:17:25,770 --> 00:17:28,107 No, no, no, babe. Babe, don't touch those. 454 00:17:28,158 --> 00:17:29,744 I've read the entire charter. 455 00:17:29,778 --> 00:17:32,867 There's no other way to get her a bathroom break... 456 00:17:32,901 --> 00:17:36,674 unless we bring the bathroom to her... 457 00:17:36,692 --> 00:17:37,693 that's nothing. 458 00:17:37,728 --> 00:17:39,246 I mean, she's not gonna make it. 459 00:17:39,281 --> 00:17:41,785 Look at her, she's dancing around like she's a character 460 00:17:41,819 --> 00:17:43,455 in one of those Peanuts cartoons. 461 00:17:43,490 --> 00:17:46,811 Okay, in these last few minutes, 462 00:17:46,863 --> 00:17:51,036 I would like to talk about the voting rights act of 1968 463 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:54,176 while clenching every muscle in my body. 464 00:17:54,210 --> 00:17:55,346 Sound good? 465 00:17:55,380 --> 00:17:57,550 Hey, Knope, how you feeling over there? 466 00:17:57,584 --> 00:17:59,571 You go pee-pee? Pee-pee times? 467 00:17:59,622 --> 00:18:00,906 Make wee-wee? 468 00:18:00,957 --> 00:18:01,908 Ten more seconds. 469 00:18:01,959 --> 00:18:06,301 Four, three, two, one! 470 00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:09,205 This session is adjourned. 471 00:18:09,224 --> 00:18:11,311 All pending matters are tabled. 472 00:18:11,345 --> 00:18:14,984 Yes! 473 00:18:15,019 --> 00:18:16,738 - You were amazing. - I love you, but move! 474 00:18:16,772 --> 00:18:17,890 I have to go to the whiz palace. 475 00:18:17,908 --> 00:18:18,892 Oh, wait! 476 00:18:18,910 --> 00:18:20,529 Eagleton! Eagleton! 477 00:18:20,563 --> 00:18:24,787 Oh! My beautiful curls! 478 00:18:24,838 --> 00:18:26,239 She didn't have time to hug me, 479 00:18:26,258 --> 00:18:27,627 but she could do that? 480 00:18:29,288 --> 00:18:32,622 Hey, Ann, can I talk to you for a second? About Tom? 481 00:18:32,742 --> 00:18:33,577 Sure. 482 00:18:33,685 --> 00:18:35,126 You guys look like you're having fun. 483 00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:36,424 Yeah, no, I really like him. 484 00:18:36,458 --> 00:18:38,979 I just wanted to say that I think you're really cool, 485 00:18:39,013 --> 00:18:41,363 and the fact that Tom dated you 486 00:18:41,483 --> 00:18:42,901 makes me think he's a really good guy. 487 00:18:42,936 --> 00:18:45,239 That's so sweet. 488 00:18:45,274 --> 00:18:47,945 Oh, okay. 489 00:18:47,979 --> 00:18:48,947 Wha... what are you... 490 00:18:48,998 --> 00:18:50,400 - What the hell? - Now! 491 00:18:50,418 --> 00:18:51,669 Sorry, Ann, this is on you. 492 00:18:51,703 --> 00:18:52,452 You told us to make a memory. 493 00:18:52,572 --> 00:18:54,408 - There's your money back. - Let go! 494 00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:57,414 Suck it! 495 00:18:57,432 --> 00:18:59,418 This is $8! 496 00:18:59,436 --> 00:19:01,772 - Man, that was so much fun. - Yeah. 497 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,926 Together, we truly did steal a toy 498 00:19:03,944 --> 00:19:05,530 from your pregnant friend. 499 00:19:05,565 --> 00:19:07,985 - Hey, can I ask you something? - Mm-hmm. 500 00:19:08,036 --> 00:19:11,375 I know we just met, like, two weeks ago and whatever, 501 00:19:11,410 --> 00:19:13,713 but is there any chance maybe, 502 00:19:13,747 --> 00:19:15,049 when you get back, we can maybe... 503 00:19:15,083 --> 00:19:17,621 Ugh. Clingy. 504 00:19:17,639 --> 00:19:19,958 Oh, no. Sorry. No, no, no, no. 505 00:19:19,976 --> 00:19:21,962 I'm kidding. 506 00:19:21,980 --> 00:19:23,483 Of course I'll call you when I come back. 507 00:19:23,517 --> 00:19:25,854 - Really? - Yeah. 508 00:19:25,905 --> 00:19:28,693 So long, suckers! 509 00:19:28,744 --> 00:19:30,330 Hey! Quick! 510 00:19:34,104 --> 00:19:35,172 Ooh! 511 00:19:35,206 --> 00:19:36,207 Come on, come on, come on, come on! 512 00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:37,711 Now that's what I call shooting. 513 00:19:37,762 --> 00:19:39,265 - Come on! - That's a new record! 514 00:19:39,299 --> 00:19:40,300 Hey! Look at that! 515 00:19:40,334 --> 00:19:42,604 You finally made it in the top 10. 516 00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:43,890 Now you can enter your initials. 517 00:19:43,941 --> 00:19:46,227 My initials are private. 518 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:49,535 Then just put in any three letters. 519 00:19:53,911 --> 00:19:55,547 Ass. 520 00:20:00,223 --> 00:20:01,542 Oh, my God! That was epic! 521 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:02,761 I was peeing so freakin' hard, 522 00:20:02,812 --> 00:20:04,230 it was like a jacuzzi jet or... 523 00:20:04,265 --> 00:20:06,402 - Hi, Leslie. - Hey! Ingrid! 524 00:20:06,436 --> 00:20:08,823 I wasn't talking about the velocity of my pee 525 00:20:08,857 --> 00:20:10,619 because you are a very smart and classy lady. 526 00:20:10,661 --> 00:20:13,064 Ben, you remember Ingrid de Forest 527 00:20:13,082 --> 00:20:14,501 from the former Eagleton. 528 00:20:14,536 --> 00:20:16,756 Yes, she was just telling me she's been nominated 529 00:20:16,790 --> 00:20:19,461 to run against you in the recall. 530 00:20:19,512 --> 00:20:21,749 Wow. Buzz kill. 531 00:20:21,767 --> 00:20:23,603 I know you must hate me right now, Leslie, 532 00:20:23,637 --> 00:20:25,357 and that's justified, 533 00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:28,863 but I need to thank you for what you just did in there. 534 00:20:28,897 --> 00:20:30,483 Not the forceful urination. The filibuster. 535 00:20:30,534 --> 00:20:31,786 Right, yeah. 536 00:20:31,820 --> 00:20:35,443 It was incredibly courageous, and it was selfless. 537 00:20:35,461 --> 00:20:36,779 And if I do win, 538 00:20:36,797 --> 00:20:38,949 I'm gonna have very big roller skates to fill. 539 00:20:38,967 --> 00:20:42,507 Could I take you out for a celebratory plate of... 540 00:20:42,558 --> 00:20:43,810 I think you call them waffles? 541 00:20:43,844 --> 00:20:45,897 Wow, that is the best offer you could ever make, 542 00:20:45,915 --> 00:20:49,253 but I had to miss my husband's birthday party for this, 543 00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:51,509 so I think I'll be spending the evening with him. 544 00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:55,583 - A rain check, maybe. - Please. 545 00:20:55,601 --> 00:20:58,523 I'm sorry your birthday party got all screwed up. 546 00:20:58,557 --> 00:21:00,225 Maybe I should put those roller skates back on. 547 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,479 Well, you must be exhausted. 548 00:21:01,530 --> 00:21:02,614 We don't have to go to the party. 549 00:21:02,648 --> 00:21:04,618 Oh, we're not going to the party. 550 00:21:04,652 --> 00:21:06,204 We're going home. 551 00:21:06,238 --> 00:21:08,943 Then why would you need to put on roller... skates? 552 00:21:08,961 --> 00:21:11,448 Oh, yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 553 00:21:11,466 --> 00:21:14,759 We're just... we're just... skates...