1
00:00:08,610 --> 00:00:10,858
Business at Rent-a-Swag
could not be better.

2
00:00:10,859 --> 00:00:13,242
Yesterday Jaden Smith came in,
and he was like,

3
00:00:13,243 --> 00:00:16,384
"Look, I want to quit the music/acting
business and work here with you."

4
00:00:16,385 --> 00:00:18,184
And I was like,
"Jaden, be serious.

5
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,736
The world needs you.
You have a gift."

6
00:00:19,737 --> 00:00:21,994
Ever since my client opened
his store across the street,

7
00:00:22,029 --> 00:00:23,454
your sales have plummeted.

8
00:00:23,455 --> 00:00:26,162
It's only a matter of time
before you're out of business.

9
00:00:26,468 --> 00:00:28,804
But my client has had
a moment of weakness,

10
00:00:28,839 --> 00:00:31,634
something he
referred to as "sympathy"?

11
00:00:32,019 --> 00:00:33,480
He's made you a final offer...

12
00:00:33,481 --> 00:00:36,270
$40,000 for Rent-a-Swag
and all of its contents.

13
00:00:36,271 --> 00:00:37,772
I suggest you take it.

14
00:00:37,807 --> 00:00:41,005
Well, I've heard all the facts, and
it's pretty obvious what I have to do...

15
00:00:41,006 --> 00:00:44,619
Get a big old mug of hot chocolate, put
on my thinking PJs, and get back to you.

16
00:00:44,654 --> 00:00:47,225
The offer is valid
for 48 hours.

17
00:00:47,259 --> 00:00:49,970
We would also be interested
in acquiring your thinking PJs.

18
00:00:49,971 --> 00:00:52,867
Listen to me
very carefully.

19
00:00:52,868 --> 00:00:54,306
No matter what happens,

20
00:00:54,357 --> 00:00:57,045
you will never acquire

21
00:00:57,079 --> 00:00:58,601
my thinking PJs

22
00:00:58,602 --> 00:01:01,987
or my YouTube blazer...

23
00:01:01,988 --> 00:01:04,492
Nonnegotiable.

24
00:01:12,382 --> 00:01:15,385
Synced by Reef
www.addic7ed.com

25
00:01:25,417 --> 00:01:26,741
Sorry. Sorry.

26
00:01:26,742 --> 00:01:29,080
Larry, everyone else was able to make it
to the committee meeting on time.

27
00:01:29,114 --> 00:01:30,315
What's your excuse?

28
00:01:30,316 --> 00:01:32,319
I was voting for you
in the recall election.

29
00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:34,456
Lots of people wearing
Leslie Knope buttons.

30
00:01:35,610 --> 00:01:38,634
No discussion about the recall election
until the polls close at 8:00.

31
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,469
Let's focus
on what we can control.

32
00:01:40,503 --> 00:01:43,124
In 24 hours, we are going
to transform City Hall

33
00:01:43,159 --> 00:01:45,612
into the best haunted house
Pawnee has ever seen.

34
00:01:45,630 --> 00:01:47,082
There's been a mistake.

35
00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:49,654
This says that I'm in charge
of the silly skeleton room,

36
00:01:49,688 --> 00:01:52,676
when really it should say
"the undead serial killer room."

37
00:01:52,727 --> 00:01:56,701
- Who do I talk to about changing this?
- It's recall day. I've made my case,

38
00:01:56,702 --> 00:01:59,173
and the latest polls have it
as a dead heat,

39
00:01:59,191 --> 00:02:01,632
so there's nothing
left to do but wait.

40
00:02:01,633 --> 00:02:05,156
I'm fine. I mean, I got stuff to do.
I'm planning a haunted house.

41
00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:07,177
Plus, um...

42
00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:09,629
It's Kevin Pollacks birthday.

43
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,285
That's something
to focus on today.

44
00:02:11,319 --> 00:02:14,902
Who cares about the recall?
It's Kevin's day.

45
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,761
I don't know what to do...

46
00:02:16,780 --> 00:02:19,985
I could take the offer and break even,
but I've come so far.

47
00:02:20,020 --> 00:02:24,496
Ron, can you put some more tiny
marshmallow in my hot chocky?

48
00:02:25,561 --> 00:02:26,712
Thank you.

49
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:29,321
If there was something
I could do for you, I would.

50
00:02:29,355 --> 00:02:31,125
Maybe you should try
taking a walk...

51
00:02:31,159 --> 00:02:32,460
Out of my office.

52
00:02:34,182 --> 00:02:37,787
- Ron! You're in Bloosh!
- What?

53
00:02:37,822 --> 00:02:40,643
- Ron's in Bloosh?
- Ron is in Bloosh!

54
00:02:42,347 --> 00:02:43,690
What is Bloosh?

55
00:02:43,756 --> 00:02:46,845
Bloosh is a weekly lifestyle
email written by Annabel Porter.

56
00:02:46,846 --> 00:02:49,122
She used to be the face
of the Eagleton phone book.

57
00:02:49,151 --> 00:02:50,736
Then she moved to Hollywood
to pursue her dream

58
00:02:50,787 --> 00:02:52,957
of becoming friends
with a bunch of celebrities.

59
00:02:52,992 --> 00:02:55,312
Then she moved back
to become a lifestyle guru.

60
00:02:55,347 --> 00:02:56,553
She's legit.

61
00:02:56,554 --> 00:02:59,252
She spent four months living
in Kate Bosworth's pool house.

62
00:02:59,253 --> 00:03:03,695
"A Ron Swanson-designed chair is
the must-have item of the season,"

63
00:03:03,730 --> 00:03:07,476
"along with red quinoa, wind therapy,
and buying an island."

64
00:03:07,496 --> 00:03:09,052
Annabel says
that buying an island

65
00:03:09,053 --> 00:03:12,905
is the only real way to know that
your goji-berry farm is pesticide-free.

66
00:03:12,948 --> 00:03:15,719
I've been trying to get
Rent-a-Swag in Bloosh for months.

67
00:03:15,770 --> 00:03:19,406
And now that you got in, I can get in too.
Congratulations, Ron! We did it!

68
00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:22,512
- Someone's getting a new leather jacket.
- I don't want a leather jacket.

69
00:03:22,546 --> 00:03:24,971
It's for me.
This is a great day!

70
00:03:25,469 --> 00:03:27,088
Ron's in Bloosh!

71
00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:29,126
- Ron's in Bloosh!
- What?

72
00:03:29,177 --> 00:03:30,311
Ron's in Bloosh!

73
00:03:30,346 --> 00:03:32,315
- Do it.
- Ron's in Bloosh!

74
00:03:34,730 --> 00:03:38,577
April, you seem depressed,
and I would know.

75
00:03:38,578 --> 00:03:41,366
I spent most of last year being
treated by Dr. Richard Nygard

76
00:03:41,367 --> 00:03:42,802
for my own
emotional problems.

77
00:03:42,837 --> 00:03:44,556
Yeah, I just miss Andy.

78
00:03:44,607 --> 00:03:47,662
Halloween was, like,
kind of our thing.

79
00:03:47,663 --> 00:03:50,709
Every year, we would dress up
like demons and egg Larry's house.

80
00:03:50,710 --> 00:03:52,605
- That was you?
- Larry, please.

81
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:53,858
We're having
a private conversation.

82
00:03:53,892 --> 00:03:56,130
Well, I'd like to make Halloween
fun for you,

83
00:03:56,164 --> 00:03:58,509
like Andy would have,
starting right now...

84
00:03:58,510 --> 00:04:00,488
With scary,
scary monster claws!

85
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:03,878
Okay, people, the grand
opening is in 20 hours.

86
00:04:03,912 --> 00:04:06,517
Larry, you had
the easiest job...

87
00:04:06,551 --> 00:04:07,719
Two triangles and a tooth.

88
00:04:07,737 --> 00:04:10,708
Nobody wants Gengurch-family-themed
Jack-o-lanterns.

89
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:13,397
- Gayle likes them.
- Is any of this even good?

90
00:04:13,432 --> 00:04:15,718
Why didn't we call it
"City Hall-oween"?

91
00:04:15,753 --> 00:04:17,756
Okay, we need to change
every single banner.

92
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:19,342
Leslie's been holding it
together pretty well,

93
00:04:19,376 --> 00:04:21,613
but today is when
she needs us the most.

94
00:04:21,648 --> 00:04:25,088
That's why we formed the Leslie
Knope emotional support task force.

95
00:04:25,122 --> 00:04:27,926
Anything she could possibly need
to get her through these final hours,

96
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,663
we got it covered...

97
00:04:29,697 --> 00:04:33,604
Back rubs, YouTube videos of turtles
and birds becoming friends...

98
00:04:33,605 --> 00:04:37,545
A poster announcing
the new Lilith Fair concert.

99
00:04:37,546 --> 00:04:39,326
It's fake,
but it'll buy us an hour.

100
00:04:39,327 --> 00:04:42,285
We even have a secret hand signal
in case we think she needs help.

101
00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:46,046
It's loosely based
on the Klingon greeting salute.

102
00:04:46,097 --> 00:04:49,386
I just learned that. And if I had known,
I would not have agreed to it.

103
00:04:49,420 --> 00:04:53,970
Uh, hey, Leslie, how about instead of
slightly changing a lot of banners,

104
00:04:53,971 --> 00:04:56,976
we paint our toenails
to look like pumpkins?

105
00:04:57,019 --> 00:04:59,322
Fun!
Ann, you're a genius!

106
00:04:59,356 --> 00:05:02,329
Your brain is almost as perfect
as your face.

107
00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:06,218
Hey, Ron, baby, what are
the hot deets on Bloosh?

108
00:05:06,219 --> 00:05:08,507
Start over
and speak differently.

109
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:11,013
Sorry. Did you call that P.R. guy?
What's the latest news?

110
00:05:11,047 --> 00:05:14,202
Apparently, Joan Callamezzo
wants me to go on Pawnee Today

111
00:05:14,237 --> 00:05:16,557
to discuss my chairs
with this Porter woman.

112
00:05:16,591 --> 00:05:17,809
I said no.

113
00:05:17,843 --> 00:05:20,398
Ron, you said if there was something
you could do to help me, you would.

114
00:05:20,432 --> 00:05:23,003
Getting in Bloosh is my last
chance to save my store.

115
00:05:23,037 --> 00:05:24,706
You have to go and take me
so I can meet her.

116
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:26,143
- Please?
- Fine.

117
00:05:26,177 --> 00:05:28,397
If it's that important
to your company, I'll do it.

118
00:05:28,431 --> 00:05:29,749
Yes!

119
00:05:29,784 --> 00:05:34,259
Now, I know high-end, Internet-only
lifestyle magazine really isn't your scene,

120
00:05:34,277 --> 00:05:37,632
so Donna and I wrote up
some cocktail banter

121
00:05:37,666 --> 00:05:41,473
and some conversation snippets
for you to practice so you can fit in.

122
00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:46,216
"Annabel, could I be more jels
of your low-lights right now?"

123
00:05:46,251 --> 00:05:49,827
"I mean, O.M. Squee,
talk about bangs envy."

124
00:05:49,828 --> 00:05:51,965
Oof, you got a long way
to go, Swanson.

125
00:05:52,026 --> 00:05:55,405
- Let's go again, from the top.
- I regret everything.

126
00:05:55,495 --> 00:05:58,099
- Babe, you made it. It's 8:00.
- Thank God.

127
00:05:58,100 --> 00:06:00,937
Okay, everyone,
great work, as always.

128
00:06:00,938 --> 00:06:04,586
I'm gonna stay here and just kind
of wait for the results to pour in.

129
00:06:04,620 --> 00:06:06,306
Thank you.
I'll see you all tomorrow.

130
00:06:06,357 --> 00:06:08,541
We're not going anywhere.
We're staying with you.

131
00:06:08,561 --> 00:06:10,665
No, really, it's gonna be
hours before they call it.

132
00:06:10,699 --> 00:06:13,587
We're not leaving, woman.
Stop trying to get rid of us.

133
00:06:13,622 --> 00:06:16,426
Yeah, I made frappuccinos
for a little caffeine boost,

134
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:17,979
and Larry went to get pizzas
for everyone.

135
00:06:18,014 --> 00:06:20,017
Aw, that's very sweet,
you guys.

136
00:06:20,051 --> 00:06:21,219
Thank you.

137
00:06:21,237 --> 00:06:24,242
All right, let's hunker down.
It's gonna be a long night.

138
00:06:27,032 --> 00:06:29,703
Too close to call,
a real nail-biter,

139
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:31,106
anybody's game...

140
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,410
These are three phrases
you won't hear tonight,

141
00:06:33,445 --> 00:06:35,848
as Leslie Knope has been voted
out of office.

142
00:06:35,882 --> 00:06:37,873
What was expected to be
a close race...

143
00:06:37,888 --> 00:06:38,905
What did he say?

144
00:06:38,906 --> 00:06:40,474
Has actually been
a not close race.

145
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:43,831
Pawnee voters have decisively
removed Leslie Knope...

146
00:06:43,865 --> 00:06:45,701
- Honey, I'm so sorry.
- ... From the City Council.

147
00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:50,461
pizza time,
it's-a pizza time!

148
00:06:50,495 --> 00:06:52,632
Larry, everyone is
miserable,

149
00:06:52,666 --> 00:06:55,003
and you are
only making it worse.

150
00:06:57,741 --> 00:06:59,916
- Okay, Leslie's on her way in.
- Is she okay?

151
00:06:59,970 --> 00:07:01,270
I left her, like,
30 voice mails,

152
00:07:01,271 --> 00:07:05,178
and her outgoing message is just her
sobbing and burping and crazy laughing.

153
00:07:05,212 --> 00:07:08,156
Yeah, you know what?
She's actually handling it pretty well.

154
00:07:08,802 --> 00:07:10,638
What's up, fartwads?

155
00:07:10,673 --> 00:07:12,559
Are you eating
a paunch burger?

156
00:07:12,577 --> 00:07:14,863
Well, you know what?
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

157
00:07:14,881 --> 00:07:18,470
I mean, I've been boycotting them
ever since pinewood and her goons

158
00:07:18,488 --> 00:07:21,310
started this whole recall business,
but who cares now, right?

159
00:07:21,328 --> 00:07:23,831
What does it matter?
Nothing matters anymore.

160
00:07:23,865 --> 00:07:25,952
Mmm. Oh, my God.
This is good.

161
00:07:25,986 --> 00:07:27,689
This is really good.

162
00:07:27,723 --> 00:07:29,376
Why did I ever fight this?

163
00:07:29,427 --> 00:07:31,429
Have you thought
about a concession speech?

164
00:07:31,431 --> 00:07:32,932
Oh, concession speech?

165
00:07:32,950 --> 00:07:35,677
Yeah, I wrote one.

166
00:07:36,558 --> 00:07:39,317
"Eat my shorts, Jabronies.
Knope, out."

167
00:07:39,318 --> 00:07:42,885
I thought it best to revisit
the concession speech at a later time.

168
00:07:44,061 --> 00:07:46,460
But we should focus
on the haunted house.

169
00:07:46,475 --> 00:07:48,664
And you know what I think
it needs, actually,

170
00:07:48,682 --> 00:07:52,605
is a papier-mâché
li'l Sebastian!

171
00:07:52,623 --> 00:07:54,309
- What?
- Oh!

172
00:07:57,450 --> 00:08:00,388
I'm gonna go fall asleep
on a bench.

173
00:08:05,449 --> 00:08:07,335
I can honestly say

174
00:08:07,369 --> 00:08:10,706
today's guest is the only person
in this town

175
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:13,677
who's a bigger deal than I am.

176
00:08:14,133 --> 00:08:18,374
Please welcome lifestyle guru
Annabel Porter.

177
00:08:18,425 --> 00:08:21,897
Hello, hello.
It's me. I'm here.

178
00:08:21,931 --> 00:08:23,984
- Yes, you are.
- Hi.

179
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,988
Can I just say,
as a journalist,

180
00:08:26,024 --> 00:08:28,661
I feel like
we're best friends.

181
00:08:28,695 --> 00:08:30,665
Tell the audience
about yourself.

182
00:08:30,699 --> 00:08:35,658
Well, I'm just a simple former
phonebook model who found her calling.

183
00:08:35,693 --> 00:08:37,796
- You know, I'm not perfect.
- Oh.

184
00:08:37,830 --> 00:08:40,568
The average woman worries about
what she looks like in a bathing suit.

185
00:08:40,602 --> 00:08:43,507
So does my nanny.
So I get it.

186
00:08:43,542 --> 00:08:45,228
Annabel, what trends are...

187
00:08:45,262 --> 00:08:47,953
Pardon the pun, but...
Trending?

188
00:08:47,954 --> 00:08:52,458
First of all, Mozambique cashmere
is the new cast-iron stove.

189
00:08:52,476 --> 00:08:53,927
Of course.

190
00:08:53,945 --> 00:08:57,218
I have found some amazing new
conflict-free paella recipes,

191
00:08:57,253 --> 00:09:01,227
and, luckily, my favorite fishmonger
now makes house calls.

192
00:09:01,228 --> 00:09:03,105
- Thank God.
- Finally.

193
00:09:03,106 --> 00:09:08,541
But my fave new item
is a deliciously bold chair...

194
00:09:08,575 --> 00:09:11,018
- Ooh.
- By local artist Ron Swanson.

195
00:09:11,019 --> 00:09:12,470
Ron Swanson is here.

196
00:09:12,529 --> 00:09:16,840
He will be joining us after
the break, so stick around.

197
00:09:16,875 --> 00:09:20,047
Did that woman
call my chair "delicious"?

198
00:09:20,065 --> 00:09:22,202
Whoo, Happy Halloween.

199
00:09:22,253 --> 00:09:24,222
Oh, caterpillar!
Thank you.

200
00:09:24,257 --> 00:09:26,310
Hey, guys, come on in.

201
00:09:26,361 --> 00:09:29,883
- Welcome to the den of horrors.
- Where's all the scary stuff?

202
00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:31,687
Scary stuff
is invisible, Leah...

203
00:09:31,721 --> 00:09:35,110
Broken dreams, disappointment,
achieving your greatest goal

204
00:09:35,128 --> 00:09:36,630
and having it
all fall apart

205
00:09:36,681 --> 00:09:38,684
and knowing that you'll never
climb any higher.

206
00:09:38,718 --> 00:09:40,404
Can we have some candy?

207
00:09:40,439 --> 00:09:42,375
I'm gonna give you something
sweeter than candy, Ryan...

208
00:09:42,409 --> 00:09:43,527
The truth.

209
00:09:43,562 --> 00:09:46,666
It's very possible that some
of you have already peaked.

210
00:09:46,684 --> 00:09:48,787
It's all downhill
from here, turkeys.

211
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,260
Okay, let's say good-bye
to Ms. Knope, kids.

212
00:09:51,311 --> 00:09:52,395
It is Ms. Knope.

213
00:09:52,479 --> 00:09:55,284
It's not city councilwoman Knope, because
that chapter of my life is already over.

214
00:09:55,318 --> 00:09:57,622
Just remember, kids,

215
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,559
nothing gold can stay.

216
00:09:59,593 --> 00:10:01,280
Okay.

217
00:10:01,331 --> 00:10:05,304
Oh, my goodness, we are back
with America's greatest leader...

218
00:10:05,339 --> 00:10:06,907
Annabel Porter

219
00:10:06,941 --> 00:10:09,412
and her new favorite artisan,

220
00:10:09,447 --> 00:10:12,018
local woodworker
Ron Swanson.

221
00:10:12,052 --> 00:10:13,304
Hello.

222
00:10:13,338 --> 00:10:15,825
I discovered Ron's chairs
a few months ago,

223
00:10:15,859 --> 00:10:19,482
and what I absolutely love
about a Swanson

224
00:10:19,517 --> 00:10:21,670
is you can really use it
for anything.

225
00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:24,326
Yes, mostly you use it
for sitting.

226
00:10:24,377 --> 00:10:27,248
Make it a rustic accent piece
in your solarium.

227
00:10:27,266 --> 00:10:30,497
Even better, use it as a focal point
in your yoga tent.

228
00:10:30,498 --> 00:10:32,709
Put it by a table
and eat a meal.

229
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:35,648
We don't do
meals in my home.

230
00:10:35,682 --> 00:10:39,689
No, every two hours, we eat
what I like to call a food tease,

231
00:10:39,724 --> 00:10:42,729
like an oat wedge
or a seaweed lozenge.

232
00:10:42,763 --> 00:10:43,981
Can I just say...

233
00:10:44,016 --> 00:10:46,136
And I think this is
really important,

234
00:10:46,170 --> 00:10:49,175
so I need everyone
to shut up...

235
00:10:49,226 --> 00:10:52,732
- I love your hair.
- Oh. Thank you.

236
00:10:52,766 --> 00:10:54,669
It's genetic
and unattainable.

237
00:10:58,511 --> 00:11:00,948
I am scaring you!

238
00:11:00,982 --> 00:11:02,535
I could see you.

239
00:11:02,586 --> 00:11:04,956
There's, like, a million mirrors
in front of me.

240
00:11:04,974 --> 00:11:07,563
And you're never gonna make me
not miss Andy, okay?

241
00:11:07,564 --> 00:11:11,569
What about this? I'm Bert Macklin,
friendly lifeguard.

242
00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:15,244
Bert Macklin is not a lifeguard.
He's an FBI agent.

243
00:11:15,278 --> 00:11:19,052
- Really? That's even harder to believe.
- Just stop, okay?

244
00:11:19,086 --> 00:11:21,890
Your lame attempts at trying
to cheer me up are not working.

245
00:11:21,924 --> 00:11:25,915
Now I'm sad that I miss Andy and sad
that I can't make fun of you to Andy.

246
00:11:25,966 --> 00:11:28,520
I understand. I'm sorry.

247
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:32,196
I've failed you, both
as a scary monster and a friend.

248
00:11:42,633 --> 00:11:45,804
- Hey, I am really sorry.
- I know you must feel awful.

249
00:11:45,822 --> 00:11:47,325
I don't feel awful.

250
00:11:47,376 --> 00:11:49,963
You know, actually,
I feel like I can finally relax.

251
00:11:49,998 --> 00:11:52,251
Accepting that you've peaked
is very freeing.

252
00:11:52,269 --> 00:11:53,520
Yeah, I know the feeling.

253
00:11:53,554 --> 00:11:56,226
I was impeached when I was 18,
and it was brutal.

254
00:11:56,244 --> 00:11:59,015
But you just have to keep
climbing back up that hill.

255
00:11:59,049 --> 00:12:00,901
Or do you?

256
00:12:00,936 --> 00:12:04,292
Maybe instead of working
super hard to rebuild your life,

257
00:12:04,326 --> 00:12:08,750
you just said, "I peaked.
Wow. What a great run."

258
00:12:08,768 --> 00:12:11,573
"And now I'm going to spend
the rest of my life really chill."

259
00:12:11,624 --> 00:12:14,771
Well, sure, I mean, part of that
sounds very appealing.

260
00:12:14,772 --> 00:12:16,650
- Yeah.
- But, n-no.

261
00:12:16,701 --> 00:12:18,770
Uh, see, I-it was important
for me...

262
00:12:18,788 --> 00:12:21,242
See, I took a job in City
budget crisis management,

263
00:12:21,260 --> 00:12:24,668
and now I work
for a candy charity.

264
00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:27,371
Oh, God, did I peak
when I was 18?

265
00:12:27,422 --> 00:12:29,825
- There it is.
- Drink up.

266
00:12:32,683 --> 00:12:33,884
- Whoo!
- Shots!

267
00:12:36,007 --> 00:12:38,594
B-13 shots.

268
00:12:38,645 --> 00:12:40,397
Bird bath salts.

269
00:12:40,448 --> 00:12:43,403
Wha...?
Champagne decanters!

270
00:12:43,454 --> 00:12:45,674
This is heaven.

271
00:12:45,709 --> 00:12:47,311
I love your chair.

272
00:12:47,346 --> 00:12:49,365
I need 12 for my stepdaughter's
craft room.

273
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,321
Well, I make two a year,
so maybe in six years.

274
00:12:52,322 --> 00:12:53,890
- Can you put me on the wait list?
- Me too...

275
00:12:53,916 --> 00:12:56,763
Unless your chair was ever touched
by someone who ate refined sugar.

276
00:12:56,814 --> 00:12:59,730
Then I can't buy any of your chairs,
and I protest this entire event.

277
00:12:59,731 --> 00:13:01,623
Okay, Ron,
Annabels coming over.

278
00:13:01,657 --> 00:13:05,056
When you talk me up, be sure
to mention that you really admire

279
00:13:05,082 --> 00:13:07,985
how I take big risks
with men's neck accessories.

280
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,824
- There he is.
- Hello, hello.

281
00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:13,964
Thank you for your kind words
about my chairs, Miss Porter.

282
00:13:14,016 --> 00:13:15,217
No, thank us.

283
00:13:15,235 --> 00:13:18,123
You are about to make
a ton of money.

284
00:13:18,157 --> 00:13:19,709
I want to license
your designs.

285
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:23,734
We are going to put Swanson chairs
in every six-bedroom home in the Midwest.

286
00:13:23,768 --> 00:13:26,840
If my chairs were mass-produced,
they wouldn't be Swanson chairs.

287
00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:29,412
Swanson chairs are handmade.

288
00:13:29,430 --> 00:13:32,518
Yes, and now they will be made
by thousands of tiny Chinese hands.

289
00:13:33,571 --> 00:13:37,411
Oh, Miss Porter, this is
my very good friend Tom Haverford.

290
00:13:37,446 --> 00:13:41,186
He's a big fan of your...
Whatever you call what you do.

291
00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:43,506
Please speak to each other
while I leave.

292
00:13:43,524 --> 00:13:47,019
Oh, no, I am not done with you,
you wicked little so-and-so.

293
00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:48,251
Terrific.

294
00:13:48,299 --> 00:13:51,139
You know what? I had my time, you know?
I did my thing.

295
00:13:51,173 --> 00:13:54,460
I wanted to be a city councilor, and
I did, and I was, and I was like, whoo!

296
00:13:54,461 --> 00:13:56,016
And the people were like,
pffft!

297
00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:59,906
- At least we have each other.
- I love you so much.

298
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:01,609
I love you too.

299
00:14:01,627 --> 00:14:02,878
- This is real.
- I know.

300
00:14:02,913 --> 00:14:04,597
- You're my husband.
- You're my wife.

301
00:14:04,616 --> 00:14:07,054
- You married me in front of people.
- I did. I was there.

302
00:14:07,089 --> 00:14:08,340
We may have peaked,
but it doesn't matter.

303
00:14:08,391 --> 00:14:10,594
We need to do something big,
you know,

304
00:14:10,628 --> 00:14:11,997
something that really lets
people know

305
00:14:12,032 --> 00:14:13,767
that we're gonna love
each other forever.

306
00:14:13,801 --> 00:14:16,740
- Yeah! What is it?
- I got it.

307
00:14:16,774 --> 00:14:19,478
Hello, sir.
We are sober.

308
00:14:19,479 --> 00:14:22,017
We would like to get tattoos
on our bodies, 'cause we love each other.

309
00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:24,105
Tattoos?
This is a pawnshop.

310
00:14:24,139 --> 00:14:26,593
- But, yeah, sure, I can do that.
- Awww!

311
00:14:26,627 --> 00:14:28,597
Yes! It happened!

312
00:14:28,631 --> 00:14:31,386
Look what he's doing.
He's breaking pens.

313
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:34,976
- This is the idea of the century.
- Right here.

314
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:38,683
Come here.

315
00:14:40,528 --> 00:14:44,512
My store is called Rent-a-Swag.
It's a clothing rental service for teens.

316
00:14:44,546 --> 00:14:46,478
It's an interesting idea.
Are you guys doing well?

317
00:14:46,479 --> 00:14:48,277
- We're doing amazing.
- Mm.

318
00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:50,200
And it'd be perfect
for Bloosh.

319
00:14:50,208 --> 00:14:52,506
Why don't you take out whatever
you wrote about my chairs

320
00:14:52,541 --> 00:14:55,628
and put something in
about Rent-a-Swag instead?

321
00:14:55,629 --> 00:14:59,279
This month's trends are final.
I can't just throw a trend out.

322
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:04,045
But my bloosh scouts have started
trend-tracking for the February zine blast.

323
00:15:04,046 --> 00:15:06,967
- Good God, these words.
- I'll have them stop by your store.

324
00:15:07,002 --> 00:15:08,990
That'll be too late.
We'll be out of business by then.

325
00:15:08,998 --> 00:15:10,583
I thought you said
you were doing well.

326
00:15:10,634 --> 00:15:14,240
Ronnie, one last time, have you
reconsidered mass production?

327
00:15:14,275 --> 00:15:17,114
I can sell your chairs
on my site.

328
00:15:17,115 --> 00:15:18,250
No, thank you, ma'am.

329
00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:21,573
I'm not interested in letting
someone else sell my work.

330
00:15:21,608 --> 00:15:23,923
Well, that's too bad.

331
00:15:24,964 --> 00:15:28,888
This party is over.
It no longer is.

332
00:15:28,922 --> 00:15:30,057
It was.

333
00:15:30,092 --> 00:15:34,077
- It was...? That was my last shot.
- Sorry, Tommy.

334
00:15:34,078 --> 00:15:37,138
Let's just grab some of that
lychee body oil and bounce.

335
00:15:37,139 --> 00:15:39,392
Can you grab me some of those
pomegranate face masks too?

336
00:15:39,410 --> 00:15:41,075
Fo' sho'.

337
00:15:41,297 --> 00:15:42,932
Can I ask you a question?

338
00:15:42,967 --> 00:15:44,569
Are we the cutest couple
you've ever seen?

339
00:15:44,603 --> 00:15:45,871
Nope.

340
00:15:45,905 --> 00:15:48,023
Okay, you want the long needle
or the short needle?

341
00:15:48,024 --> 00:15:50,448
Doesn't matter. Can't find
a short needle. Long needle it is.

342
00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:51,816
I have a big idea.

343
00:15:51,834 --> 00:15:55,024
I want a portrait
of Eleanor Roosevelt,

344
00:15:55,058 --> 00:15:56,443
tastefully done,

345
00:15:56,477 --> 00:16:00,751
and then she has a very classy
tattoo of Pat Benatar on her arm.

346
00:16:00,802 --> 00:16:02,505
And that's very subtle.

347
00:16:02,523 --> 00:16:05,294
No, scratch that. Scratch all that.
Just write "Ben".

348
00:16:05,329 --> 00:16:06,913
Do you have anything
to numb the pain?

349
00:16:06,931 --> 00:16:09,852
Sure, take a scoop
out of the pill bucket.

350
00:16:09,870 --> 00:16:12,491
Okay, you said you wanted
"mouth queen"?

351
00:16:12,509 --> 00:16:14,980
No, stop. Stop it. Stop
everything that you're doing.

352
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:17,818
- Stop it.
- Ann's here! Ann wants a tattoo!

353
00:16:17,820 --> 00:16:18,887
- Ann!
- No, no!

354
00:16:18,922 --> 00:16:20,174
- Ann!
- No!

355
00:16:20,192 --> 00:16:23,547
Shh! Ann does not want a tattoo.
No one wants a tattoo.

356
00:16:23,581 --> 00:16:25,084
Ann, relax.

357
00:16:25,102 --> 00:16:27,271
Be "respitable"
for a second, okay?

358
00:16:27,323 --> 00:16:29,009
What we are doing
is not nuts.

359
00:16:29,043 --> 00:16:30,294
We are merely getting tattoos

360
00:16:30,328 --> 00:16:33,033
so that everybody knows we love each
other and that we haven't peaked.

361
00:16:33,068 --> 00:16:36,423
- It makes a lot of sense.
- Okay, we're leaving, all right?

362
00:16:36,474 --> 00:16:38,377
So say good-bye
to the nice man

363
00:16:38,395 --> 00:16:40,981
and thank me for saving you
from being on dateline.

364
00:16:41,016 --> 00:16:42,218
Okay, let's go.
Come on.

365
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:44,889
- Good-bye, world traveler.
- Later, bro Heisen.

366
00:16:44,907 --> 00:16:47,078
- Go.
- Come on.

367
00:16:48,915 --> 00:16:51,153
I don't want to be
a failure again, Ron.

368
00:16:51,187 --> 00:16:53,323
There's no shame
in failure

369
00:16:53,375 --> 00:16:54,742
if you gave it
an honest effort.

370
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:56,046
Easy for you to say.

371
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:57,665
People are dying to give you
money for your business,

372
00:16:57,699 --> 00:16:58,850
and you didn't even take it.

373
00:16:58,868 --> 00:17:02,792
I didn't sell my chairs to that website
because I value my name.

374
00:17:02,826 --> 00:17:05,398
The only thing that's important
at the end of the day

375
00:17:05,432 --> 00:17:07,835
is what's on your gravestone...
Your name.

376
00:17:07,836 --> 00:17:09,806
My gravestone's gonna be
a 60-inch touchscreen

377
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:11,159
with a hologram
of four mes

378
00:17:11,210 --> 00:17:14,699
singing End of the Road
by Boyz II Men...

379
00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:16,069
But point taken.

380
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:20,594
Ben, what is the first rule of the Leslie
Knope emotional support task force?

381
00:17:20,629 --> 00:17:22,315
Don't let her get
a tattoo.

382
00:17:22,349 --> 00:17:24,442
- What the hell happened?
- I couldn't help it.

383
00:17:24,470 --> 00:17:28,009
She's so cute when she's coming up
with destructive ideas.

384
00:17:28,027 --> 00:17:30,531
Never send a husband
to do a best friend's job.

385
00:17:30,565 --> 00:17:32,001
Out, Wyatt.
Walk it off.

386
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:34,606
- Walk it off.
- Fine.

387
00:17:35,835 --> 00:17:37,272
- You did it.
- Yep.

388
00:17:37,329 --> 00:17:39,382
- See you later, Ann.
- No, Knope, sit down.

389
00:17:40,719 --> 00:17:44,776
- You are avoiding your problems.
- What? No, I'm not.

390
00:17:44,810 --> 00:17:47,053
- Can we talk about this tomorrow?
- You were down in the polls.

391
00:17:47,054 --> 00:17:49,768
Your opponents were well funded
and well organized.

392
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,706
You must have known
this would be a possibility.

393
00:17:51,707 --> 00:17:54,662
Intellectually, I knew
that I might be in trouble,

394
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:56,816
but deep in my heart,
I never really thought...

395
00:17:56,851 --> 00:17:58,420
Ben and I tried
to help you,

396
00:17:58,454 --> 00:18:01,039
but as usual, you're
the best person for the job.

397
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,611
You need to hear yourself
read this.

398
00:18:05,550 --> 00:18:08,139
"They held the recall
election, and I lost."

399
00:18:09,641 --> 00:18:11,694
"I was voted out of office."

400
00:18:11,712 --> 00:18:15,122
"In 30 days, I will no longer be
a Pawnee city councilor."

401
00:18:15,123 --> 00:18:16,741
Oh, it's so hard to read
when you're drunk.

402
00:18:16,759 --> 00:18:18,125
Keep going.

403
00:18:18,146 --> 00:18:19,855
"But I am Leslie Knope."

404
00:18:19,856 --> 00:18:22,394
"I am more
than a city councilor."

405
00:18:22,509 --> 00:18:25,814
"I am an unstoppable force
of energy."

406
00:18:25,815 --> 00:18:31,292
"And I will use those days
to work as hard as I can."

407
00:18:31,308 --> 00:18:33,792
These are all
your ongoing projects,

408
00:18:33,793 --> 00:18:36,152
everything you're currently
working on for Pawnee.

409
00:18:36,186 --> 00:18:38,156
You have things to do.

410
00:18:38,190 --> 00:18:40,327
You have a month left.
Use it.

411
00:18:40,361 --> 00:18:43,199
Ann, you poetic
and noble land mermaid,

412
00:18:43,250 --> 00:18:45,270
you're right once again.

413
00:18:45,271 --> 00:18:46,331
Thank you.

414
00:18:46,332 --> 00:18:49,861
I flushed my car keys
down the toilet.

415
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,301
No problem.

416
00:18:54,051 --> 00:18:56,601
Eww... stop.

417
00:18:56,869 --> 00:18:58,588
Hello to you too, April.

418
00:18:58,623 --> 00:19:01,410
I'm sorry I said
you were lame, okay?

419
00:19:01,428 --> 00:19:02,963
You are, but I know

420
00:19:03,015 --> 00:19:04,416
you were just trying
to help me, so...

421
00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:06,437
Thank you, April.
Happy Halloween.

422
00:19:06,472 --> 00:19:09,885
And if you want to egg
Larry's house, come find me.

423
00:19:10,563 --> 00:19:11,898
You guys are cute.

424
00:19:11,932 --> 00:19:14,570
- Where'd that come from?
- I'm weak.

425
00:19:14,604 --> 00:19:17,710
I miss Andy,
and it's making me weak.

426
00:19:17,744 --> 00:19:19,914
Also, if Chris puts
that much effort

427
00:19:19,948 --> 00:19:22,286
into making
my stupid night better,

428
00:19:22,304 --> 00:19:25,676
I'm sure that he'll make
your lame life perfect.

429
00:19:25,727 --> 00:19:28,315
Or he's secretly
super in love with me.

430
00:19:28,349 --> 00:19:29,550
It's probably that.

431
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:32,195
That's a funny joke, April.

432
00:19:32,196 --> 00:19:35,162
But the truth is, I'm very
much in love with Ann.

433
00:19:36,649 --> 00:19:39,496
Okay, gross.
The spell's broken.

434
00:19:40,319 --> 00:19:44,492
I've made my decision, and I'll sell you
Rent-a-Swag, but on my terms.

435
00:19:44,493 --> 00:19:45,799
Which are?

436
00:19:45,833 --> 00:19:48,338
$40,000 for the inventory, the website,
and everything else in the store,

437
00:19:48,356 --> 00:19:52,270
but I keep the name Rent-a-Swag.
It's mine, and I'm keeping it.

438
00:19:53,182 --> 00:19:56,120
The name is actually
an important part of the sale.

439
00:19:56,155 --> 00:19:58,391
- Really?
- Yes. My client likes the name.

440
00:19:58,409 --> 00:20:01,815
It's better than Tommy's closet.
He needs the name.

441
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:05,555
Well, I don't know
what to tell you, except...

442
00:20:05,590 --> 00:20:07,977
I'll throw in the name
in exchange for $20,000 more

443
00:20:08,012 --> 00:20:09,897
and 5%
of your client's business.

444
00:20:09,931 --> 00:20:13,605
I'll run it past my client,
but I think we have a deal.

445
00:20:13,656 --> 00:20:17,112
Ron said there's nothing more valuable
than my name, but he's not a businessman.

446
00:20:17,163 --> 00:20:18,365
I am.

447
00:20:18,399 --> 00:20:20,731
And now I have seed money
for my next venture.

448
00:20:20,732 --> 00:20:22,599
I sold out, baby.

449
00:20:23,959 --> 00:20:27,633
The votes have been counted,
and I have been recalled.

450
00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:29,596
I am, of course,
disappointed.

451
00:20:29,597 --> 00:20:32,759
But I am still your City
councilwoman for 30 more days,

452
00:20:32,777 --> 00:20:35,457
and I intend to spend
every second I have left

453
00:20:35,458 --> 00:20:37,812
working for you
and this great city.

454
00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:39,488
The thing
about being part

455
00:20:39,522 --> 00:20:41,709
of the Leslie Knope
emotional support task force

456
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:44,185
is that
it's a very easy job.

457
00:20:44,186 --> 00:20:45,921
She's never down
for that long.

458
00:20:45,939 --> 00:20:47,925
And now that she's had
a little time to recharge,

459
00:20:47,943 --> 00:20:50,764
she is like a toddler
bouncing back from a nap.

460
00:20:50,782 --> 00:20:52,468
Hey!
There you guys are.

461
00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,956
Okay, Ben, I need some help
with the re-zoning thing.

462
00:20:54,991 --> 00:20:57,878
Also, I think we should paint our deck,
so I have some color samples for you.

463
00:20:57,913 --> 00:21:00,300
And to thank you both for being
there when I needed you,

464
00:21:00,335 --> 00:21:02,471
I carved your faces
into these Jack-o-lanterns.

465
00:21:02,506 --> 00:21:04,124
Ann, it was very hard
to capture your beauty,

466
00:21:04,143 --> 00:21:05,644
and, Ben, you make
a sexy pumpkin...

467
00:21:05,678 --> 00:21:06,763
No surprise.

468
00:21:06,797 --> 00:21:08,580
Love you both.
See you later.

469
00:21:08,581 --> 00:21:10,766
- Okay.
- Wow.

470
00:21:11,288 --> 00:21:12,923
This is amazing.

471
00:21:13,310 --> 00:21:14,779
Not bad.

472
00:21:14,944 --> 00:21:17,947
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