1
00:00:20,209 --> 00:00:24,176
Andy got back from London two days ago
and he still has jet lag.

2
00:00:24,296 --> 00:00:25,562
It's really annoying.

3
00:00:25,596 --> 00:00:27,151
We're on totally different
schedules.

4
00:00:27,271 --> 00:00:29,828
Last night he mowed the lawn
at 2:00 in the morning.

5
00:00:29,948 --> 00:00:32,512
Andy!
Andy!

6
00:00:32,563 --> 00:00:34,612
- Get me a beer?
- All right.

7
00:00:34,646 --> 00:00:35,595
As soon as I wake up,

8
00:00:35,630 --> 00:00:37,626
he goes down.
Hard.

9
00:00:37,935 --> 00:00:39,595
This has to stop!

10
00:00:39,629 --> 00:00:41,595
Babe, wake up.

11
00:00:41,613 --> 00:00:44,412
That's my spaghetti, Chewbacca.

12
00:00:44,446 --> 00:00:45,378
Babe!

13
00:00:47,503 --> 00:00:50,018
You hungry, Champion?

14
00:00:50,053 --> 00:00:51,352
Oh, my God.

15
00:00:51,386 --> 00:00:52,818
Are you kidding me?

16
00:00:57,053 --> 00:00:59,652
Hey. Oh, man,
I fell asleep again.

17
00:00:59,687 --> 00:01:01,319
Andy, you have got to stay up

18
00:01:01,370 --> 00:01:02,751
and get on a regular schedule.

19
00:01:02,786 --> 00:01:06,052
Were you about to spray me
with the hose inside the house?

20
00:01:06,103 --> 00:01:08,868
- Yeah.
- I kinda want you to do it now.

21
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,952
- Okay.
- Aah! Aah!

22
00:01:11,003 --> 00:01:12,419
Aaahhh!

23
00:01:12,453 --> 00:01:15,385
No, no, no, no, no, no!

24
00:01:30,773 --> 00:01:37,810
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

25
00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:41,801
Okay, just a reminder, guys,
today is Leslie's last day

26
00:01:41,819 --> 00:01:43,319
as a city councilor,

27
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,419
so everyone be extra supportive.

28
00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:46,419
Already done.

29
00:01:46,470 --> 00:01:48,252
When she walked past me
this morning,

30
00:01:48,303 --> 00:01:50,801
I gave her a kind nod.

31
00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,202
Heartwarming.

32
00:01:52,236 --> 00:01:53,835
Also I want to get her
a present to cheer her up

33
00:01:53,869 --> 00:01:54,968
on her last day.

34
00:01:55,003 --> 00:01:56,469
Any ideas?

35
00:01:56,503 --> 00:01:58,218
A "sorry you lost
your dream job" gift?

36
00:01:58,270 --> 00:02:00,202
Mm, that's a tough one.
Stay away from wine.

37
00:02:00,236 --> 00:02:01,469
Wine is crying juice.

38
00:02:01,503 --> 00:02:03,085
Well, I mean, you know her
better than anybody.

39
00:02:03,136 --> 00:02:05,851
What does she really want?
More than anything in the world?

40
00:02:05,902 --> 00:02:08,552
A nice candle.
I'm screwed.

41
00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:10,734
No! Andy!

42
00:02:10,752 --> 00:02:12,502
- An-Andy!
- Oh! Come on!

43
00:02:12,536 --> 00:02:14,935
- Andy!
- Be right out.

44
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:17,968
Well, this is the
Pawnee City Council chambers.

45
00:02:17,986 --> 00:02:20,052
Your new home away from me.

46
00:02:20,086 --> 00:02:22,052
Well, technically, my home
away from home is in Zurich.

47
00:02:22,086 --> 00:02:25,152
Frank Gehry designed it.
But this is nice too.

48
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,235
Today is my last day

49
00:02:26,270 --> 00:02:28,235
As a—excuse me.

50
00:02:28,253 --> 00:02:30,002
Let me try this again.

51
00:02:30,036 --> 00:02:31,485
Today is
my last day at C—

52
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,302
Today is my la—

53
00:02:33,336 --> 00:02:34,402
Today is my last d—

54
00:02:34,436 --> 00:02:35,718
You know what?
You get the idea.

55
00:02:35,752 --> 00:02:37,751
My old friend Ingrid de Forest
won the recall vote,

56
00:02:37,802 --> 00:02:39,818
and she's taking my place
on Monday morning.

57
00:02:39,852 --> 00:02:41,185
But, you know, luckily for me,

58
00:02:41,236 --> 00:02:42,485
I've processed all my feelings.

59
00:02:42,536 --> 00:02:44,952
And I've gone through
the five stages of grief:

60
00:02:45,003 --> 00:02:46,968
Denial, anger,
Internet commenting,

61
00:02:47,003 --> 00:02:48,402
cat adoption, African dance,

62
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:50,651
cat returning
to the adoption place,

63
00:02:50,702 --> 00:02:52,302
watching all the episodes
of Murphy Brown,

64
00:02:52,336 --> 00:02:53,952
and not giving a flying fart.

65
00:02:53,986 --> 00:02:56,052
How many stages is that?

66
00:02:56,103 --> 00:02:57,052
I don't know.

67
00:02:57,086 --> 00:02:58,785
The point is I'm fine now.

68
00:02:58,819 --> 00:03:00,785
This must be hard for you.

69
00:03:00,836 --> 00:03:03,102
It's like what
sir Ian McKellen said to me

70
00:03:03,136 --> 00:03:05,052
the day I sold my boat
to Karl Lagerfeld:

71
00:03:05,103 --> 00:03:07,485
"Parting is such sweet sorrow."

72
00:03:07,536 --> 00:03:09,785
Oh, my God.
What is your life?

73
00:03:09,836 --> 00:03:10,995
If it makes any difference,

74
00:03:11,003 --> 00:03:13,035
your work here
was a real inspiration to me,

75
00:03:13,069 --> 00:03:16,452
and I am going to do my best
to continue your legacy.

76
00:03:16,503 --> 00:03:19,635
Well, I appreciate
the sentiment.

77
00:03:22,819 --> 00:03:24,452
Leslie.

78
00:03:24,486 --> 00:03:26,135
I'm sorry.
Was I singing

79
00:03:26,169 --> 00:03:28,035
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
out loud?

80
00:03:28,069 --> 00:03:30,302
No. But would you like to?

81
00:03:30,336 --> 00:03:31,668
I studied opera at the Sorbonne.

82
00:03:31,702 --> 00:03:33,018
I'd be happy to harmonize.

83
00:03:33,069 --> 00:03:34,818
Goodbye...

84
00:03:34,869 --> 00:03:36,535
Goodbye...

85
00:03:36,568 --> 00:03:37,918
Naw.

86
00:03:37,953 --> 00:03:39,502
And finally,

87
00:03:39,536 --> 00:03:41,385
here is a check
for the entirety

88
00:03:41,436 --> 00:03:42,785
of the purchase
of Rent-A-Swag.

89
00:03:42,819 --> 00:03:44,934
And here is a personal note

90
00:03:44,953 --> 00:03:47,035
from my client
Dr. Saperstein.

91
00:03:47,069 --> 00:03:48,252
"Dear Tom:
I win.

92
00:03:48,286 --> 00:03:49,952
"You suck.
Turn note over.

93
00:03:50,003 --> 00:03:51,001
"You still suck.

94
00:03:51,019 --> 00:03:52,818
Turn note over."

95
00:03:52,852 --> 00:03:54,901
Okay, Saperstein
couldn't even face me himself?

96
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,035
He had to send in his lackey?

97
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,035
My client isn't at this meeting

98
00:03:57,069 --> 00:03:58,452
because he doesn't have to be.

99
00:03:58,503 --> 00:03:59,701
Successful people,
Mr. Haverford,

100
00:03:59,736 --> 00:04:02,335
use their money to use others
to work for them.

101
00:04:02,353 --> 00:04:04,352
Hmm, it's an interesting idea,
lawyer-dude.

102
00:04:04,403 --> 00:04:06,252
What if I gave you 5 bucks
to put a bag of poop

103
00:04:06,286 --> 00:04:07,285
in Saperstein's car?

104
00:04:07,336 --> 00:04:08,551
No.

105
00:04:08,585 --> 00:04:11,269
Ballpark me.
How much would it cost?

106
00:04:11,303 --> 00:04:12,269
$10,000.

107
00:04:12,303 --> 00:04:13,935
Counter-offer:

108
00:04:13,969 --> 00:04:15,319
Why don't you just do it
for the story?

109
00:04:15,353 --> 00:04:17,901
Goodbye, Mr. Haverford.

110
00:04:17,919 --> 00:04:19,385
Is it done?

111
00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:22,735
Well, how many times
did he turn the paper over?

112
00:04:22,769 --> 00:04:26,202
Oh, that is disappointing.

113
00:04:26,236 --> 00:04:27,110
So...

114
00:04:27,230 --> 00:04:28,019
look at this baby.

115
00:04:28,139 --> 00:04:30,168
That is
the most symmetrical fetus

116
00:04:30,202 --> 00:04:31,185
I've ever seen.

117
00:04:31,219 --> 00:04:33,302
This could be a superhero.

118
00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:34,735
- Dr. Saperstein.
- Yes.

119
00:04:34,769 --> 00:04:36,202
I know that we should hate you

120
00:04:36,236 --> 00:04:37,818
because you destroyed
our friend's business.

121
00:04:37,852 --> 00:04:39,868
- But we love you so much!
- We love you!

122
00:04:39,886 --> 00:04:41,035
I'm loveable!

123
00:04:41,053 --> 00:04:42,801
So do you wanna know the sex?

124
00:04:42,819 --> 00:04:44,618
Oh, my God.
Should we?

125
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:46,734
N-no, right?
Or maybe yes?

126
00:04:46,752 --> 00:04:48,635
Is there an option
other than yes or no?

127
00:04:48,669 --> 00:04:49,768
I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.

128
00:04:49,802 --> 00:04:51,185
I'm gonna write it down.

129
00:04:51,219 --> 00:04:52,901
Then I'm gonna put it
in an envelope,

130
00:04:52,936 --> 00:04:53,985
seal it, and when you're ready,

131
00:04:54,036 --> 00:04:55,319
voila!

132
00:04:55,370 --> 00:04:57,918
- That'll be fun!
- That's like the Oscars.

133
00:04:57,953 --> 00:04:59,801
Hey, let's get some food.

134
00:04:59,835 --> 00:05:01,052
I'm starving.

135
00:05:01,103 --> 00:05:02,568
Wait, no, I have to pee.

136
00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:03,985
Wait, no, I have to barf.

137
00:05:04,019 --> 00:05:05,768
Actually, all three.

138
00:05:05,786 --> 00:05:07,968
Being pregnant is great.

139
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:10,918
And, finally, Larry's share
of the profit.

140
00:05:10,969 --> 00:05:12,185
Whoa! Good to be Larry.

141
00:05:12,219 --> 00:05:13,269
No, it's not,
you boring grandpa.

142
00:05:13,303 --> 00:05:16,068
Meanwhile, Tommy's ridin' high.

143
00:05:16,086 --> 00:05:17,201
$32,000.

144
00:05:17,219 --> 00:05:18,368
I'm basically a millionaire.

145
00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:19,601
What are you gonna do
with the money, Tom?

146
00:05:19,636 --> 00:05:20,851
Glad you asked.

147
00:05:20,886 --> 00:05:22,901
A horrible man recently gave me
some great advice.

148
00:05:22,936 --> 00:05:25,335
For years, I've been coming up
with my own ideas.

149
00:05:25,370 --> 00:05:27,568
Like some sort of
non-rich idiot.

150
00:05:27,602 --> 00:05:29,534
Now I'm gonna let people
come to me

151
00:05:29,552 --> 00:05:31,302
and invest my scrilla
in the best idea I hear.

152
00:05:31,336 --> 00:05:32,302
That sounds like

153
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:33,985
an efficient use
of the free market.

154
00:05:34,019 --> 00:05:35,751
I would wish you
the best of luck,

155
00:05:35,786 --> 00:05:38,584
but I believe luck is
a concept invented by the weak

156
00:05:38,636 --> 00:05:40,018
to explain their failures.

157
00:05:40,053 --> 00:05:41,634
Come hear the ideas
with me, Ron.

158
00:05:41,652 --> 00:05:43,152
I could use your wise,
grandfatherly advice.

159
00:05:43,203 --> 00:05:45,701
Do you think everyone here
is a grandfather?

160
00:05:45,735 --> 00:05:46,701
Basically, if you're
older than me,

161
00:05:46,719 --> 00:05:47,868
you're a grandpa.

162
00:05:47,886 --> 00:05:49,201
And if you are a grandpa,
you're dead.

163
00:05:49,219 --> 00:05:50,168
That sounds right.

164
00:05:50,186 --> 00:05:51,185
Uh, oops.

165
00:05:51,236 --> 00:05:52,555
This check is made out
to "Lenny,"

166
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:54,319
which I think is a typo
for "Larry,"

167
00:05:54,370 --> 00:05:55,952
which isn't
even actually my name.

168
00:05:55,986 --> 00:05:58,085
Well, tell it
to the bank, Lenny.

169
00:05:58,136 --> 00:06:00,501
Am I—am I Lenny now?

170
00:06:00,535 --> 00:06:03,468
I'd like to order
a singing telegram.

171
00:06:03,502 --> 00:06:06,651
Well, my wife lost her job,
so maybe something sad and slow.

172
00:06:06,686 --> 00:06:07,751
Do you know anything from

173
00:06:07,786 --> 00:06:09,335
The Requiem for a Dream
soundtrack?

174
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:10,551
This is a bad idea.

175
00:06:10,585 --> 00:06:11,952
I'm hanging up now. Bye.

176
00:06:12,003 --> 00:06:13,834
Well, Ingrid is settled
into my office,

177
00:06:13,852 --> 00:06:15,851
and this box contains
the last of my stuff.

178
00:06:15,902 --> 00:06:17,851
Although I might have left
some salt packets in my desk.

179
00:06:17,902 --> 00:06:19,434
Maybe I should go back
for those?

180
00:06:19,468 --> 00:06:21,202
Honey, it's okay,
there'll be other salt packets.

181
00:06:21,236 --> 00:06:23,118
But not the kind
that snaps in half, maybe.

182
00:06:23,169 --> 00:06:25,052
Okay, I know
I'm a broken record,

183
00:06:25,086 --> 00:06:27,168
but getting away
from the City Council

184
00:06:27,202 --> 00:06:28,640
is absolutely
the best thing for you.

185
00:06:28,669 --> 00:06:30,935
Trust me.

186
00:06:30,969 --> 00:06:33,235
This is Perd Hapley
talking to you now

187
00:06:33,270 --> 00:06:35,601
about what's going on today.

188
00:06:35,619 --> 00:06:37,202
We're live at City Hall

189
00:06:37,236 --> 00:06:39,335
where City Councilman Dexhart
is addressing

190
00:06:39,368 --> 00:06:40,685
his latest sex scandal.

191
00:06:40,719 --> 00:06:43,551
Recently, certain allegations
have come to light

192
00:06:43,585 --> 00:06:45,818
about my inappropriate conduct.

193
00:06:45,852 --> 00:06:48,835
I'm here
to set the record straight.

194
00:06:48,869 --> 00:06:52,501
I totally did all of it.

195
00:06:52,535 --> 00:06:54,718
Another sex scandal?
This guy's unbelievable.

196
00:06:54,769 --> 00:06:56,102
How does he find the time?

197
00:06:56,136 --> 00:06:58,768
I also engaged in
inappropriate texting,

198
00:06:58,802 --> 00:07:02,018
sexting,
and tex-mexting,

199
00:07:02,053 --> 00:07:04,668
which is where you send
photos of your junk

200
00:07:04,702 --> 00:07:07,118
from the restroom
of a chili's to go.

201
00:07:07,153 --> 00:07:08,968
- Hmm.
- Ew.

202
00:07:08,986 --> 00:07:10,801
Does this make me a bad boy?

203
00:07:10,836 --> 00:07:12,568
You tell me.

204
00:07:12,602 --> 00:07:13,818
No. Really.

205
00:07:13,852 --> 00:07:14,868
Tell me.

206
00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:17,235
It gets me off
when women tell me that.

207
00:07:17,253 --> 00:07:18,751
He's reading this,
he wrote this down.

208
00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:21,768
I sent these texts
to roughly 100 women

209
00:07:21,802 --> 00:07:23,868
under the following pseudonyms:

210
00:07:23,886 --> 00:07:25,201
Enrique Shockwave,

211
00:07:25,219 --> 00:07:27,434
Willie Dynamite,

212
00:07:27,469 --> 00:07:29,835
Lee Harvey Teabag...

213
00:07:29,869 --> 00:07:31,035
Well, at least
you won't have to deal

214
00:07:31,053 --> 00:07:32,418
with that guy anymore.

215
00:07:32,469 --> 00:07:34,367
- You're right.
- Lieutenant Wilhelm Von Penis.

216
00:07:34,385 --> 00:07:36,534
Not after someone beats him
in the next election.

217
00:07:36,552 --> 00:07:38,918
Someone who is smart
and hard-working

218
00:07:38,969 --> 00:07:41,334
and who knows the job
because she's done it already

219
00:07:41,368 --> 00:07:43,468
and is also blond
and named Leslie

220
00:07:43,502 --> 00:07:44,468
and loves you.

221
00:07:44,502 --> 00:07:46,968
- Is it you?
- Yes! It is!

222
00:07:47,003 --> 00:07:48,135
I'm gonna run again.

223
00:07:48,169 --> 00:07:49,635
I'm gonna beat Dexhart!

224
00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:50,801
And Anthony Weiner.

225
00:07:51,828 --> 00:07:54,097
Another City Council campaign?

226
00:07:54,217 --> 00:07:55,529
Leslie, think about what you're saying.

227
00:07:55,649 --> 00:07:57,735
I did. I challenge you
to find one flaw in my plan.

228
00:07:57,786 --> 00:07:59,035
Well, for one,

229
00:07:59,086 --> 00:08:00,351
we don't even live
in Dexhart's district.

230
00:08:00,386 --> 00:08:01,468
Not yet!

231
00:08:01,827 --> 00:08:03,709
But we can go and rent
a second apartment,

232
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:05,626
and we can spend 51%
of our time there.

233
00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:06,976
And then I'll file
the campaign form

234
00:08:07,011 --> 00:08:08,409
from that address.

235
00:08:08,443 --> 00:08:10,993
I don't want to spend 51%
of our time in his district.

236
00:08:11,027 --> 00:08:13,176
It's basically a dumping ground
for old shipping containers.

237
00:08:13,211 --> 00:08:15,425
It's like a raccoon shantytown.

238
00:08:15,443 --> 00:08:16,643
Oh, it's not that bad.

239
00:08:16,694 --> 00:08:18,609
And also, Dexhart fights dirty.

240
00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:19,826
He's never lost an election

241
00:08:19,844 --> 00:08:22,643
because he runs brutal,
scorched-earth campaigns.

242
00:08:22,677 --> 00:08:24,143
So what? I got plenty
of dirt on that scumbag.

243
00:08:24,177 --> 00:08:25,359
I say, "Bring it on."

244
00:08:25,393 --> 00:08:26,709
So I'm gonna start

245
00:08:26,744 --> 00:08:28,259
my negative PR blitz
against Dexhart and—

246
00:08:28,293 --> 00:08:31,893
Look, I just think we need
to take a deep breath...

247
00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:33,526
Think about
if this is really worth it.

248
00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:37,259
Anything is worth me
getting back on City Council.

249
00:08:37,293 --> 00:08:38,860
Okay.

250
00:08:38,894 --> 00:08:40,776
Let's see which one
of these lucky visionaries

251
00:08:40,810 --> 00:08:42,776
is gonna make me rich.

252
00:08:42,827 --> 00:08:44,960
Greg Phillips!

253
00:08:44,994 --> 00:08:46,543
Hi, guys, thanks
for meeting with me.

254
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:47,643
Enough chitchat. What's
your pitch, kid?

255
00:08:47,677 --> 00:08:49,093
Come on, time is money,
money is power,

256
00:08:49,127 --> 00:08:50,543
power is pizza,
pizza is knowledge.

257
00:08:50,577 --> 00:08:51,743
- Let's go.
- Okay.

258
00:08:51,794 --> 00:08:56,227
So my idea is for an abacus,
but on your phone.

259
00:08:56,260 --> 00:08:58,759
I call it a "phone-bacus."

260
00:08:58,794 --> 00:09:01,859
Son, you just described
a calculator.

261
00:09:01,877 --> 00:09:03,993
Hey, but you're talking
about it, right?

262
00:09:04,027 --> 00:09:05,060
Three words:

263
00:09:05,094 --> 00:09:07,426
Automated word counter.

264
00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:08,859
Get out.

265
00:09:08,877 --> 00:09:10,325
Two. Words.

266
00:09:10,343 --> 00:09:12,559
- No.
- One. Word.

267
00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:14,226
As you may know,

268
00:09:14,260 --> 00:09:16,743
I do like to tinker with things
in my garage.

269
00:09:16,794 --> 00:09:19,026
I'm gonna hit the can
while he's up.

270
00:09:19,044 --> 00:09:20,342
So I think I have discovered

271
00:09:20,377 --> 00:09:24,743
a way to generate
clean, renewable energy.

272
00:09:24,777 --> 00:09:26,509
I think it's gonna ch—

273
00:09:27,627 --> 00:09:28,659
Oh! Gross!

274
00:09:28,677 --> 00:09:29,843
God, Larry.

275
00:09:29,894 --> 00:09:30,926
You sneezed all over us!

276
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,026
I'm not gonna buy that thing.

277
00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:33,659
It's covered in a gallon
of your boogers.

278
00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:35,492
I totally understand.

279
00:09:39,427 --> 00:09:40,976
Uh, jeez.

280
00:09:41,027 --> 00:09:43,759
I will be thrilled
if we have a girl.

281
00:09:43,794 --> 00:09:45,376
Oh, tiny dresses?

282
00:09:45,427 --> 00:09:46,792
Braids?
Glitter on everything?

283
00:09:46,810 --> 00:09:47,809
Forget it.

284
00:09:47,844 --> 00:09:49,576
And also, girls' names
are so cute.

285
00:09:49,627 --> 00:09:52,076
Daisy, Annabelle, Lilly.

286
00:09:52,127 --> 00:09:56,110
Olive, rosemary, chicken.
Fifty burritos.

287
00:09:56,144 --> 00:09:57,726
Oh, my God, I'm starving.
Miss, hi!

288
00:09:57,744 --> 00:09:59,793
I'm pregnant, and I'm
a little bit crazy.

289
00:09:59,827 --> 00:10:00,876
So if you don't bring
our appetizers out

290
00:10:00,927 --> 00:10:02,160
in the next 30 seconds,

291
00:10:02,193 --> 00:10:05,559
I'm gonna plunge your face
into the deep fryer!

292
00:10:05,577 --> 00:10:06,543
And also two waters, please.

293
00:10:06,577 --> 00:10:08,192
But no hurry.

294
00:10:08,210 --> 00:10:09,476
Thank you.

295
00:10:09,510 --> 00:10:10,593
Leslie, I don't know
if there's a story

296
00:10:10,627 --> 00:10:11,792
in these emails.

297
00:10:11,810 --> 00:10:13,242
They're iffy,

298
00:10:13,277 --> 00:10:14,859
but Dexhart
has been elected eight times.

299
00:10:14,877 --> 00:10:16,743
I don't think the voters care.

300
00:10:16,794 --> 00:10:18,826
His poll numbers are actually up
since the scandal broke.

301
00:10:18,844 --> 00:10:19,959
Well, that's
just because people found out

302
00:10:19,977 --> 00:10:21,509
he was Miley Cyrus' cousin.

303
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,026
- He is?
- Good morning, Leslie.

304
00:10:23,060 --> 00:10:25,076
"Sweet jugs."

305
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,325
What?

306
00:10:28,343 --> 00:10:29,709
He's kinda cute.

307
00:10:29,744 --> 00:10:31,142
Oh, God, Shauna, no.

308
00:10:31,193 --> 00:10:33,442
I-I just feel like
I could fix him, you know?

309
00:10:34,744 --> 00:10:36,359
This sucks!

310
00:10:36,393 --> 00:10:38,626
We heard a hundred pitches,
and they're all terrible.

311
00:10:38,644 --> 00:10:40,276
Change of plans.

312
00:10:40,310 --> 00:10:41,276
You guys are my idea factory.

313
00:10:41,327 --> 00:10:42,960
- April, go.
- Okay, got one.

314
00:10:42,994 --> 00:10:44,859
Macaroni and poison.

315
00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:47,292
It's like mac and cheese,
but with a special ingredient.

316
00:10:47,326 --> 00:10:48,292
Ron?

317
00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:49,726
Every socket set
I've ever bought

318
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,609
only goes up to 1/2 inch.

319
00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:53,526
I'd love a couple larger sizes.

320
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:55,959
Take it all the way up to 5/8.

321
00:10:55,977 --> 00:10:56,976
Andy?

322
00:10:57,027 --> 00:11:01,076
Bears bouncing
on trampoline roads.

323
00:11:01,126 --> 00:11:03,926
There's a chance
that I might have dreamed that.

324
00:11:03,961 --> 00:11:06,226
Okay, time to head back
to the office.

325
00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:08,109
I've missed
an entire day of work,

326
00:11:08,143 --> 00:11:11,709
so at least some good
came from this.

327
00:11:11,744 --> 00:11:13,158
What are you doing?

328
00:11:13,176 --> 00:11:14,960
Well, they couldn't make
a banner in time

329
00:11:14,994 --> 00:11:17,659
for my press conference,
so I am cobbling together

330
00:11:17,694 --> 00:11:19,993
a banner from
all the other discarded banners.

331
00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:23,209
"Second chunce four Lesle!

332
00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:27,326
"Perv Dexxxhrt equals...

333
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,292
- birthday mouse"?
- Rat!

334
00:11:29,327 --> 00:11:31,026
Well, that's the closest thing
I could get to a rat.

335
00:11:31,044 --> 00:11:32,876
Leslie, listen to yourself.

336
00:11:32,927 --> 00:11:35,893
Loopholes,
scorched-earth policies.

337
00:11:35,927 --> 00:11:37,276
This isn't you.

338
00:11:37,310 --> 00:11:39,225
I cannot believe you aren't
supporting me on this!

339
00:11:39,243 --> 00:11:41,926
Dexhart has a sex scandal
the same day I'm leaving office?

340
00:11:41,961 --> 00:11:43,676
That is not a coincidence.

341
00:11:43,710 --> 00:11:44,726
This was meant to be.

342
00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:45,809
You know what?

343
00:11:45,861 --> 00:11:47,392
Why don't we gather everyone
in here,

344
00:11:47,426 --> 00:11:49,609
you explain to them
what you're thinking,

345
00:11:49,644 --> 00:11:50,993
and, uh, we get some feedback.

346
00:11:51,027 --> 00:11:53,010
Now you're talking.

347
00:11:53,044 --> 00:11:55,092
I would be thrilled
if we had a boy.

348
00:11:55,126 --> 00:11:57,559
I have perfected the art
of shaving the human face.

349
00:11:57,593 --> 00:11:59,526
And I would love to be able
to pass that on.

350
00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,910
Toy trucks?
Superhero costumes?

351
00:12:01,944 --> 00:12:03,993
Tiny little acorn penis?
Forget it.

352
00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:05,192
A weird image.

353
00:12:05,210 --> 00:12:07,409
But one that does not diminish
my enthusiasm.

354
00:12:07,443 --> 00:12:09,259
Well, Ann Perkins,

355
00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:11,125
are you ready to find out
the sex of our baby?

356
00:12:11,143 --> 00:12:13,026
I'm ready.

357
00:12:13,060 --> 00:12:15,125
We are having a...

358
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,676
"distributions."

359
00:12:17,710 --> 00:12:19,325
That's what it looks like:
Distributions.

360
00:12:19,343 --> 00:12:20,726
Let me see that.

361
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,943
It says "congratulations,"
I think.

362
00:12:22,977 --> 00:12:24,058
Then it says,

363
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,109
"I... leg smurf."

364
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:27,276
Are we having a smurf?

365
00:12:27,327 --> 00:12:30,543
We are having a...
"11-jewel toilet."

366
00:12:30,577 --> 00:12:32,659
I can't tell what's words
and what's punctuation!

367
00:12:32,677 --> 00:12:34,010
The suspense is killing me!

368
00:12:34,043 --> 00:12:35,010
I'm calling Dr. Saperstein.

369
00:12:35,060 --> 00:12:36,392
I'm calling Domino's.

370
00:12:36,426 --> 00:12:37,776
Do you think Domino's delivers
to this restaurant?

371
00:12:37,810 --> 00:12:39,826
- I hope so.
- Oh, no.

372
00:12:39,861 --> 00:12:41,059
He's out
for the rest of the day!

373
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:45,125
I have literally never been
more stressed out.

374
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,826
Oh, good! You guys are here!

375
00:12:46,861 --> 00:12:48,559
Okay, everybody gather around.
I have a big announcement.

376
00:12:48,594 --> 00:12:51,059
I am officially
seeking reelection

377
00:12:51,093 --> 00:12:52,442
to the Pawnee City Council.

378
00:12:52,477 --> 00:12:54,576
I am gonna be running
for Dexhart's seat.

379
00:12:54,610 --> 00:12:58,492
And the campaign starts now.

380
00:12:58,526 --> 00:13:01,459
Oh, I love the sound of silence

381
00:13:01,493 --> 00:13:03,075
before a big cheer.

382
00:13:03,126 --> 00:13:04,709
That's what's happening, right?

383
00:13:04,744 --> 00:13:06,042
Leslie, no offense.

384
00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:07,659
I've heard a lot
of bad ideas today.

385
00:13:07,693 --> 00:13:10,125
- This is the worst.
- April?

386
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,376
I would love it if you ran
an insane campaign

387
00:13:12,410 --> 00:13:14,543
and basically turned
into the joker.

388
00:13:14,577 --> 00:13:16,659
But that means you probably
shouldn't do it.

389
00:13:16,693 --> 00:13:17,743
- Andy?
- I don't know, Leslie.

390
00:13:17,794 --> 00:13:19,125
It seems risky.

391
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:21,319
And I'd hate to see you
go through another tough fight.

392
00:13:21,327 --> 00:13:22,743
But I could be wrong.

393
00:13:22,794 --> 00:13:24,042
I haven't pooped in three days.

394
00:13:24,076 --> 00:13:26,759
Okay, Ron, you have always
given me sage counsel.

395
00:13:26,793 --> 00:13:28,759
And your words
carry great influence so...

396
00:13:28,793 --> 00:13:30,092
what do you think I should do?

397
00:13:30,126 --> 00:13:31,809
I do not think
you should run again.

398
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:33,203
What the hell do you know,
Dum-Dum?

399
00:13:33,227 --> 00:13:35,676
All of you! Look,
this is my only option.

400
00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:37,426
I am running again
with or without you.

401
00:13:37,460 --> 00:13:39,726
Leslie, you're running
for office again?

402
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:41,175
What a great idea!

403
00:13:41,227 --> 00:13:42,426
How can I help?

404
00:13:42,460 --> 00:13:43,693
Ugh...

405
00:13:46,215 --> 00:13:48,439
Well, no one else
any good business ideas.

406
00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:50,270
So I decided to
take care of it myself.

407
00:13:51,668 --> 00:13:52,784
Talking tissue!

408
00:13:52,818 --> 00:13:53,857
Any time you pull one out,

409
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,433
you get a little message
to hype you up.

410
00:13:55,451 --> 00:13:56,999
Blow that nose, playah!

411
00:13:57,034 --> 00:13:58,199
No.

412
00:13:58,217 --> 00:14:00,216
This stinks.

413
00:14:00,267 --> 00:14:01,850
I'm just gonna have to go back
to my same job

414
00:14:01,885 --> 00:14:03,200
that I've had forever.

415
00:14:03,234 --> 00:14:04,667
Yeah, I get
why you're bummed out.

416
00:14:04,701 --> 00:14:05,700
I mean, look at me.

417
00:14:05,734 --> 00:14:07,366
I'm younger than you,

418
00:14:07,401 --> 00:14:08,633
and I already have
my own department.

419
00:14:08,668 --> 00:14:10,983
Plus I'm married,
and I make more money than you.

420
00:14:11,034 --> 00:14:12,383
Whatever. You just merged
your department with parks

421
00:14:12,417 --> 00:14:13,867
then made up your own title.

422
00:14:13,885 --> 00:14:14,999
Yeah.

423
00:14:15,017 --> 00:14:16,466
It's awesome.

424
00:14:16,484 --> 00:14:17,483
I'm empty, yo.

425
00:14:17,518 --> 00:14:20,784
Fill me up.

426
00:14:20,835 --> 00:14:22,867
Do that again.

427
00:14:25,267 --> 00:14:28,500
What could you possibly need
at 6:00 in the morning?

428
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:29,813
We couldn't read your writing,

429
00:14:29,835 --> 00:14:31,394
and we need
to know the sex of our baby.

430
00:14:31,417 --> 00:14:33,683
I'm watching cartoons
with my son.

431
00:14:33,718 --> 00:14:34,784
Daddy!

432
00:14:34,818 --> 00:14:36,433
An Elmer Fudd one is on!

433
00:14:36,451 --> 00:14:38,150
Stop it.
Hey, what's up, beautiful?

434
00:14:38,184 --> 00:14:39,966
Jean-Ralphio.
I live in the guesthouse.

435
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,266
What do you say
you and I get together

436
00:14:41,301 --> 00:14:42,733
in a special way?

437
00:14:42,768 --> 00:14:43,784
I-I'm pregnant.

438
00:14:43,818 --> 00:14:45,416
- The more the merrier.
- With my baby.

439
00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:46,550
Well, you can come too,
beautiful.

440
00:14:46,584 --> 00:14:47,767
Look at that.

441
00:14:47,801 --> 00:14:49,966
I guess sometimes
I call men "beautiful" too.

442
00:14:49,984 --> 00:14:53,450
I guess I'm
open-minded as hell.

443
00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:55,633
And I think
you're pretty good-looking.

444
00:14:55,668 --> 00:14:57,106
- Thank you.
- Can you just read that

445
00:14:57,134 --> 00:14:58,600
and tell us
what the sex is, please?

446
00:14:58,634 --> 00:14:59,800
Wow.

447
00:14:59,818 --> 00:15:01,099
It looks like
the chicken that wrote this

448
00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:02,617
had a stroke on the paper.

449
00:15:03,801 --> 00:15:05,550
Listen, I-I kind of remember.

450
00:15:05,601 --> 00:15:06,983
But I don't want to say
anything that's wrong.

451
00:15:07,017 --> 00:15:08,517
Give me 15 minutes.

452
00:15:08,568 --> 00:15:09,784
I will get dressed.

453
00:15:09,835 --> 00:15:11,750
We'll go down
to my office. Okay.

454
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:13,550
Well, have a good day
at work today, daddy.

455
00:15:13,584 --> 00:15:15,083
Also,
if you don't know already,

456
00:15:15,117 --> 00:15:16,899
there's a malfunction
with the TV,

457
00:15:16,934 --> 00:15:18,383
where it keeps ordering porno,

458
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:19,750
like, a ton of porno.

459
00:15:19,785 --> 00:15:22,102
Like, how can someone watch
that much porno in one sitting?

460
00:15:22,117 --> 00:15:23,437
Only when you're out
of the house.

461
00:15:23,468 --> 00:15:25,817
So if you see it on the bill,
that's why. Okay?

462
00:15:25,867 --> 00:15:28,099
"And therefore, with your help,

463
00:15:28,117 --> 00:15:30,333
"we can make our future bright.

464
00:15:30,367 --> 00:15:33,767
I believe I still have
a lot to offer this city."

465
00:15:33,801 --> 00:15:35,633
I'd swap those two lines.

466
00:15:35,651 --> 00:15:39,300
Always helps
to end on the call to action.

467
00:15:39,334 --> 00:15:41,216
I'm sorry if it felt like
everyone piled on.

468
00:15:41,267 --> 00:15:43,016
We were just being honest.

469
00:15:43,050 --> 00:15:44,500
But if you really
want to do this,

470
00:15:44,534 --> 00:15:45,916
of course we'll support you.

471
00:15:45,950 --> 00:15:47,250
Thank you.

472
00:15:47,301 --> 00:15:49,266
I'm sorry I stormed out.

473
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:50,683
You know, I've been thinking
for weeks of what to get you

474
00:15:50,734 --> 00:15:52,784
as a "last day in City Council"
present.

475
00:15:52,834 --> 00:15:55,133
And I finally figured it out.

476
00:15:55,167 --> 00:15:56,216
You remember Jen Barkley,

477
00:15:56,267 --> 00:15:57,550
political consultant
and power broker?

478
00:15:57,601 --> 00:15:58,849
Hey! Jen!

479
00:15:58,900 --> 00:15:59,899
What brings you back to Pawnee?

480
00:15:59,934 --> 00:16:01,316
Ben bought one hour of my time.

481
00:16:01,367 --> 00:16:02,733
I heard you need
some consulting?

482
00:16:02,751 --> 00:16:04,767
Well, uh, I guess.

483
00:16:04,801 --> 00:16:06,383
I mean, how are you?
How's your family?

484
00:16:06,434 --> 00:16:08,316
Okay, I get paid
$1,200 an hour.

485
00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:10,133
Do you really wanna spend
any of that time

486
00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:11,199
talking about my mother

487
00:16:11,217 --> 00:16:13,350
and her
19-year-old Korean husband?

488
00:16:13,401 --> 00:16:14,799
Well, that does sound
fascinating.

489
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:15,816
But you're right, let's talk.

490
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:18,233
Okay.
I'll get the chair.

491
00:16:19,917 --> 00:16:21,849
Ron!

492
00:16:21,884 --> 00:16:23,517
That's how I enter rooms now.
It's more dramatic.

493
00:16:23,568 --> 00:16:25,567
Why did you enter at all?

494
00:16:25,601 --> 00:16:26,966
Because I have some huge news.

495
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:31,483
You're looking at
Pawnee's new business liaison.

496
00:16:31,518 --> 00:16:32,767
I don't like French words.

497
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,100
I do like the word "business."

498
00:16:34,134 --> 00:16:35,383
You may continue.

499
00:16:35,417 --> 00:16:36,849
April created
a new position for herself,

500
00:16:36,884 --> 00:16:38,049
and I wanna do the same.

501
00:16:38,101 --> 00:16:39,600
The town could use
more private-sector money

502
00:16:39,634 --> 00:16:40,617
after the merger.

503
00:16:40,668 --> 00:16:41,899
So as business liaison,

504
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:44,116
I would find companies
looking to move or expand,

505
00:16:44,151 --> 00:16:45,883
and convince them
to do it in Pawnee.

506
00:16:45,934 --> 00:16:47,799
Now this is a good idea.

507
00:16:47,817 --> 00:16:49,933
You've come a long way, son.

508
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,366
And while I got you here...

509
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,350
talking tissue.

510
00:16:53,384 --> 00:16:55,350
Go for it.

511
00:16:55,401 --> 00:16:56,400
Yo, dog!

512
00:16:56,434 --> 00:16:58,583
Life is what you make of it.

513
00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:02,083
Leave while I'm ahead?
You got it.

514
00:17:03,434 --> 00:17:04,766
Clear them sinuses, playboy!

515
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,233
Someone's got the sniffies.

516
00:17:06,267 --> 00:17:07,483
Tell your mama you love 'er.

517
00:17:07,534 --> 00:17:09,233
Step up
your vitamin "C" game, bro!

518
00:17:09,267 --> 00:17:11,049
So they recall me
after all I've done for them.

519
00:17:11,084 --> 00:17:12,166
Ridiculous.

520
00:17:12,184 --> 00:17:13,316
But Dexhart now
has another sex scandal.

521
00:17:13,351 --> 00:17:14,633
Of course he does.

522
00:17:14,668 --> 00:17:16,450
And the plan is
I'm gonna run for his seat.

523
00:17:16,484 --> 00:17:18,799
Because how do I lose
to a guy like that?

524
00:17:18,834 --> 00:17:20,550
- That's a great idea, right?
- It's a terrible idea.

525
00:17:20,601 --> 00:17:22,383
I knew it. Wait. What?

526
00:17:22,434 --> 00:17:23,816
First of all, you could lose
to a guy like that.

527
00:17:23,850 --> 00:17:26,066
Terrible people defeat
great people all of the time.

528
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:27,333
I should know.

529
00:17:27,367 --> 00:17:28,583
Those terrible people
have paid me so much money,

530
00:17:28,618 --> 00:17:30,100
I have a condo
in every virgin island.

531
00:17:30,134 --> 00:17:31,683
Now you might win.

532
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,816
You're smart, Ben is smart,
you might win.

533
00:17:33,850 --> 00:17:35,283
But why would you want to?

534
00:17:35,317 --> 00:17:37,233
Because it's my dream job.

535
00:17:37,251 --> 00:17:38,533
Then dream bigger.

536
00:17:38,551 --> 00:17:40,500
Look, you love this town.

537
00:17:40,534 --> 00:17:41,600
It's being run
by monsters and morons?

538
00:17:41,634 --> 00:17:42,883
Get a better job!

539
00:17:42,934 --> 00:17:44,483
Rise above their heads.

540
00:17:44,518 --> 00:17:46,600
Affect change at a higher level.

541
00:17:46,618 --> 00:17:47,667
Don't be the kid
that graduates high school,

542
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,283
hangs out
in the school parking lot.

543
00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:51,083
Be the woman who moves away,

544
00:17:51,134 --> 00:17:53,300
climbs the ladder,
and then confidently comes back

545
00:17:53,334 --> 00:17:54,699
and has sex
with her hot old English teacher

546
00:17:54,733 --> 00:17:56,133
just for kicks.

547
00:17:56,151 --> 00:17:57,650
Is that what you did?

548
00:17:57,700 --> 00:17:58,699
Yeah. Mr. Baker.

549
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:00,283
Sex was pretty good,
thanks to me.

550
00:18:00,334 --> 00:18:02,667
Look, Pawnee
has done you a favor.

551
00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:04,133
You've outgrown them.

552
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:06,466
You've got talent, and
you've got name recognition.

553
00:18:06,484 --> 00:18:08,949
Which means that you have
a bright, wide-open future

554
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,083
with a thousand options.

555
00:18:11,117 --> 00:18:12,699
State Senate.

556
00:18:12,733 --> 00:18:13,866
Federal jobs.

557
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:15,467
Even congress.

558
00:18:15,501 --> 00:18:18,100
All of these are doable for you.

559
00:18:18,134 --> 00:18:20,966
And you can trust me...

560
00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:25,849
because I don't care
enough about you to lie.

561
00:18:27,683 --> 00:18:29,316
Uh-oh. Oh, time's up.

562
00:18:29,351 --> 00:18:31,299
Okay, if you want
to keep talking,

563
00:18:31,317 --> 00:18:32,650
you're gonna have to pay me
1,200 more dollars.

564
00:18:32,683 --> 00:18:34,732
- I just need—
- No, I swear to God,

565
00:18:34,767 --> 00:18:37,233
if you say one more word,
you will legally owe me $1,200,

566
00:18:37,267 --> 00:18:39,633
and I will sue you.
Let's not end it like that.

567
00:18:39,650 --> 00:18:41,400
Okay, great to see you, Leslie.

568
00:18:41,434 --> 00:18:42,682
Those five words are on me.

569
00:18:42,733 --> 00:18:44,899
Should I move this back?
Don't answer it!

570
00:18:45,897 --> 00:18:46,966
I don't know
what you're thinking,

571
00:18:46,984 --> 00:18:50,649
but you have a press conference
in ten minutes.

572
00:18:52,845 --> 00:18:54,321
Well, this is it...

573
00:18:54,561 --> 00:18:55,861
The final moment..

574
00:18:56,245 --> 00:18:57,633
What are you hoping for?

575
00:18:58,154 --> 00:19:00,695
I will honestly be happy
either way.

576
00:19:00,817 --> 00:19:01,850
Me too.

577
00:19:01,884 --> 00:19:03,683
Boy or girl,

578
00:19:03,717 --> 00:19:05,016
it doesn't matter.

579
00:19:05,050 --> 00:19:07,100
Because it will literally be

580
00:19:07,151 --> 00:19:09,233
the greatest child
who's ever lived.

581
00:19:09,268 --> 00:19:11,517
You swear you have
no preference?

582
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:12,567
You?

583
00:19:12,601 --> 00:19:15,317
Not at all.

584
00:19:15,351 --> 00:19:17,433
Who's ready? Raise your hand.

585
00:19:17,485 --> 00:19:19,816
- It's a boy!
- Yes!

586
00:19:19,851 --> 00:19:21,267
I thought you didn't have
a preference.

587
00:19:21,318 --> 00:19:23,150
I didn't. I just really
wanted it to be a boy.

588
00:19:23,184 --> 00:19:24,183
Me too.

589
00:19:24,217 --> 00:19:25,933
I don't know why.

590
00:19:25,984 --> 00:19:27,400
You guys are just so neat.

591
00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:29,716
Would you be interested
in adopting my children?

592
00:19:29,734 --> 00:19:31,816
They're in their late 20s,
they're terrible.

593
00:19:31,851 --> 00:19:33,400
No? No go?

594
00:19:33,434 --> 00:19:36,400
I ask all my patients.

595
00:19:36,434 --> 00:19:38,816
I've gathered you all
here today

596
00:19:38,851 --> 00:19:40,150
because I have an announcement,

597
00:19:40,184 --> 00:19:45,267
a very big announcement,
about my future.

598
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:49,517
I will be heading to lunch today
with my husband.

599
00:19:49,551 --> 00:19:51,016
At JJ's diner.

600
00:19:51,050 --> 00:19:53,350
We will eat waffles.

601
00:19:53,384 --> 00:19:55,233
And then we will go home
and make out on our couch.

602
00:19:55,268 --> 00:19:56,900
That is my future.

603
00:19:56,934 --> 00:20:00,517
For now.

604
00:20:00,551 --> 00:20:04,933
It's been an honor
to serve this town.

605
00:20:04,984 --> 00:20:07,733
And I will cherish the memories
forever.

606
00:20:07,767 --> 00:20:09,649
Thank you.

607
00:20:09,684 --> 00:20:11,267
- Ms. Knope!
- There you have it.

608
00:20:11,318 --> 00:20:13,484
A shockingly unshocking
press conference

609
00:20:13,518 --> 00:20:15,233
in which
a recently unemployed woman

610
00:20:15,268 --> 00:20:17,233
said nothing of importance.

611
00:20:17,268 --> 00:20:18,599
I'm Perd Hapley,

612
00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:21,272
and I just realized
I'm not holding my microphone.

613
00:20:21,718 --> 00:20:24,433
Jen Barkley telling me I had a future was

614
00:20:24,552 --> 00:20:26,581
the best present I could have got.
Thank you.

615
00:20:26,701 --> 00:20:27,548
You're welcome.

616
00:20:27,668 --> 00:20:29,495
But, I did get you one other present

617
00:20:29,614 --> 00:20:30,856
to take your mind off all this.

618
00:20:30,976 --> 00:20:33,286
Aww, you are the sweetest man in the world.
Where is it?

619
00:20:33,406 --> 00:20:35,901
Well, it's not here.

620
00:20:36,021 --> 00:20:37,457
We have to go get it.

621
00:20:47,974 --> 00:20:51,031
In times of stress or in moments
of transition,

622
00:20:51,151 --> 00:20:54,361
sometimes it can feel like the whole world
is closing in on you.

623
00:20:54,722 --> 00:20:58,983
When that happens, you should close
your eyes, take a deep breath,

624
00:20:59,103 --> 00:21:01,913
listen to the people that love you
when they're giving advice,

625
00:21:02,256 --> 00:21:04,459
and remember what really matters.

626
00:21:04,578 --> 00:21:07,728
And, if you have the ability to go to Paris,
by all means,

627
00:21:08,014 --> 00:21:08,963
got to Paris!

628
00:21:09,083 --> 00:21:10,764
- I found one!
- Oh, great!

629
00:21:10,884 --> 00:21:12,798
- Mm, right here.
- Yeah?

630
00:21:23,804 --> 00:21:30,758
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com