1 00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:17,761 Hello, I am Leslie Knope, and I am here 2 00:00:17,841 --> 00:00:19,683 to interview for the Deputy Parks Director job. 3 00:00:19,708 --> 00:00:21,527 Leslie, this is ridiculous. 4 00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:23,083 It's your job. Take it. 5 00:00:23,117 --> 00:00:24,251 Well, I should have to interview 6 00:00:24,286 --> 00:00:25,687 - just like everyone else. - Mm. 7 00:00:25,722 --> 00:00:27,524 Now, if you'll see on my resume, 8 00:00:27,559 --> 00:00:30,130 I held the position of deputy director 9 00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:31,800 of parks and recreation for almost ten years. 10 00:00:31,835 --> 00:00:33,703 I know. I was your boss. 11 00:00:33,739 --> 00:00:35,908 I also walked you down the aisle at your wedding. 12 00:00:35,943 --> 00:00:37,244 Take the job and leave me alone. 13 00:00:37,279 --> 00:00:38,881 Come on, Ron. Just interview me. 14 00:00:38,915 --> 00:00:41,854 - No special treatment. - Okay, fine. 15 00:00:41,888 --> 00:00:43,049 What do you believe should be 16 00:00:43,057 --> 00:00:44,625 the ultimate goal of this department? 17 00:00:44,660 --> 00:00:46,663 The ancient Greek version of the park 18 00:00:46,697 --> 00:00:49,001 was the agora, a gathering place 19 00:00:49,036 --> 00:00:50,738 where people from all walks of life... 20 00:00:50,773 --> 00:00:52,541 What are you writing? Is it good? 21 00:00:52,575 --> 00:00:55,113 What do you think is the best use of our yearly budget? 22 00:00:55,148 --> 00:00:56,884 It's right there in the name: 23 00:00:56,918 --> 00:00:58,386 Maintaining our beautiful parks 24 00:00:58,421 --> 00:01:01,326 and providing healthy outdoor recreation. 25 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,396 I'm sorry, Ms. Knope, the correct answer is 26 00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:05,768 "Give it all back to the taxpayers." 27 00:01:05,803 --> 00:01:06,804 It seems you and I have 28 00:01:06,838 --> 00:01:08,373 fundamentally different philosophies. 29 00:01:08,407 --> 00:01:10,677 Frankly, it's a miracle we ever worked together 30 00:01:10,712 --> 00:01:11,981 without killing each other. 31 00:01:12,015 --> 00:01:13,383 - Good day. - Ha, ha, okay. 32 00:01:13,417 --> 00:01:15,153 No more goofing around. Just tell me I have the job. 33 00:01:15,188 --> 00:01:16,422 I have a lot of other people to meet with. 34 00:01:16,457 --> 00:01:19,028 - I'll be in touch. - Ron, come on, it's me. 35 00:01:19,062 --> 00:01:21,199 Give me special treatment. 36 00:01:24,206 --> 00:01:32,087 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 37 00:01:41,658 --> 00:01:44,145 Okay, first morning meeting 38 00:01:44,179 --> 00:01:45,614 back in the old conference room. 39 00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:46,453 What's this? 40 00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:48,319 Oh, it shows everyone's spirit dogs. 41 00:01:48,354 --> 00:01:49,321 - That one's you. - You guys think 42 00:01:49,356 --> 00:01:50,457 I'm a border collie? 43 00:01:50,491 --> 00:01:52,628 So obviously a cocker spaniel. 44 00:01:52,662 --> 00:01:54,933 The spirit dog committee ruled on that weeks ago. 45 00:01:54,967 --> 00:01:56,937 - There is no appeals process. - No. 46 00:01:58,607 --> 00:01:59,769 Totally. I'm in on the joke. 47 00:01:59,777 --> 00:02:01,980 I get it, but maybe we should stop talking 48 00:02:02,015 --> 00:02:04,285 about your insane dog choices and get to working. 49 00:02:04,319 --> 00:02:06,957 Classic border collie. Has to control everything. 50 00:02:08,060 --> 00:02:10,430 Totally. 51 00:02:10,465 --> 00:02:12,034 First on the agenda: I'm gonna bring 52 00:02:12,068 --> 00:02:15,207 my lemonade stand idea to the small business coalition, 53 00:02:15,241 --> 00:02:16,977 and a little birdie told me it's already in the bag. 54 00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:18,346 - Can I get a what-what? - What? 55 00:02:18,381 --> 00:02:19,348 - What? - Thank you. 56 00:02:19,383 --> 00:02:20,517 No. What idea? 57 00:02:20,551 --> 00:02:22,621 The fella who runs the hot stew stand 58 00:02:22,655 --> 00:02:24,425 in Lafayette Park is retiring, 59 00:02:24,459 --> 00:02:27,698 so Pawnee's new business liaison... Tom... 60 00:02:27,733 --> 00:02:29,936 went out and got the Indiana Brothers juice company 61 00:02:29,971 --> 00:02:31,272 to rent it out as a lemonade stand. 62 00:02:31,306 --> 00:02:32,341 Wow. 63 00:02:33,577 --> 00:02:35,147 Plus, I downloaded this dope app 64 00:02:35,181 --> 00:02:36,917 that pops champagne whenever I say something awesome. 65 00:02:36,951 --> 00:02:38,286 - Tom, that's great. - I know. 66 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,657 - And it was only 9 bucks. - No, I mean, the lemonade... 67 00:02:40,691 --> 00:02:42,561 never mind. Well, I will start doing 68 00:02:42,595 --> 00:02:44,198 an environmental impact study, and Ron, 69 00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:45,534 you can do some demographic research. 70 00:02:45,568 --> 00:02:46,737 Don't sweat it, Lez-kno. 71 00:02:46,771 --> 00:02:49,275 Tommy's taking care of every last detail. 72 00:02:49,309 --> 00:02:50,912 Nothing I can do to help? 73 00:02:50,946 --> 00:02:53,083 Okay. 74 00:02:53,117 --> 00:02:54,886 Oh. 75 00:02:54,921 --> 00:02:57,424 I can straighten this for you. 76 00:02:57,459 --> 00:03:01,632 There we go. 77 00:03:01,667 --> 00:03:02,936 Oh, Larry. 78 00:03:02,970 --> 00:03:05,107 We've been taking pictures all over City Hall 79 00:03:05,141 --> 00:03:07,344 to show our unborn baby where we met. 80 00:03:07,379 --> 00:03:08,580 - Would you mind? - Oh, my gosh. 81 00:03:08,614 --> 00:03:10,117 I would be honored. 82 00:03:10,151 --> 00:03:13,289 Say, when are you crazy kids gonna get hitched? 83 00:03:13,324 --> 00:03:14,358 Well, you know, actually, we haven't 84 00:03:14,392 --> 00:03:15,460 discussed it in a while. 85 00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:16,897 No, it's kind of taken a back seat. 86 00:03:16,931 --> 00:03:18,266 Well, you know, to each his own, 87 00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:20,537 but you guys really seem like you're in love. 88 00:03:20,571 --> 00:03:23,543 And when I see a couple who look at each other 89 00:03:23,577 --> 00:03:25,347 the way you do, 90 00:03:25,381 --> 00:03:26,716 I don't know, it just makes me think 91 00:03:26,751 --> 00:03:29,655 that maybe this crazy world is gonna be okay. 92 00:03:30,658 --> 00:03:32,661 That literally went on forever. 93 00:03:32,696 --> 00:03:34,900 I thought you were never gonna stop talking. 94 00:03:34,934 --> 00:03:37,371 But now that you have... 95 00:03:37,405 --> 00:03:39,675 Ann Perkins, will you marry me? 96 00:03:42,348 --> 00:03:43,283 Wow. 97 00:03:43,317 --> 00:03:45,153 Cracker dust. 98 00:03:45,188 --> 00:03:47,724 Uh, I mean, yes, of... of course, l-let's do it. 99 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,094 Can I have a sip of your water, please? 100 00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,998 Oh, no, no, no. I'm... I'm a bit of a germaphobe. 101 00:03:51,033 --> 00:03:53,002 Oh, no, no, totally understand. 102 00:03:53,037 --> 00:03:54,305 Ann Perkins... 103 00:03:54,339 --> 00:03:55,908 I'm gonna cough it out. 104 00:03:55,943 --> 00:03:58,848 I would like to spend the rest of my life with you. 105 00:03:58,882 --> 00:04:00,584 I love you. 106 00:04:00,618 --> 00:04:04,391 I love you too. 107 00:04:04,426 --> 00:04:06,028 No part of this is how I pictured it. 108 00:04:06,063 --> 00:04:07,966 I thought another cracker might push it through, 109 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,635 but I was wrong. 110 00:04:09,669 --> 00:04:11,038 - Let's do this right. - Yeah. 111 00:04:11,073 --> 00:04:12,007 Let's go get an engagement ring. 112 00:04:12,041 --> 00:04:14,245 Yes. 113 00:04:15,548 --> 00:04:17,217 That was a beautiful moment. 114 00:04:20,625 --> 00:04:21,994 - Hello, France! - Mm. 115 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:23,269 You guys enjoying that cheese? 116 00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:24,565 It's unpasteurized. 117 00:04:24,599 --> 00:04:26,169 What's that mean? 118 00:04:26,203 --> 00:04:28,406 - Unpasteurized? - I don't care. I don't care. 119 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,212 Technically, it's illegal in this country. 120 00:04:31,246 --> 00:04:33,016 I smuggled it back from Paris. 121 00:04:33,050 --> 00:04:34,485 Anyway, I want you guys 122 00:04:34,519 --> 00:04:37,024 to think of my office as a clubhouse, 123 00:04:37,058 --> 00:04:39,295 total open-door policy. 124 00:04:39,329 --> 00:04:41,032 I wanna be your friend 125 00:04:41,066 --> 00:04:42,367 as well as your boss. 126 00:04:42,402 --> 00:04:44,038 What the hell is wrong with you? 127 00:04:44,072 --> 00:04:46,008 Are you in a cult? Can I join? 128 00:04:46,043 --> 00:04:48,546 - Let's sacrifice Larry. - Oh, April. 129 00:04:48,581 --> 00:04:50,217 It's my first day as city manager, 130 00:04:50,251 --> 00:04:52,187 so I'm holding open office hours 131 00:04:52,222 --> 00:04:53,757 to break the ice. 132 00:04:53,792 --> 00:04:55,427 Now, Chris was always the nice guy 133 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:58,299 that made everyone happy, while I brought down the hammer. 134 00:04:58,334 --> 00:05:01,940 But now that he's gone, I kind of have to do both. 135 00:05:01,975 --> 00:05:04,612 Everyone is the best. We're cutting vacation time. 136 00:05:04,646 --> 00:05:07,184 Let's eat vitamins. This is exhausting. 137 00:05:07,218 --> 00:05:08,586 Listen real quick. 138 00:05:08,621 --> 00:05:10,123 I have some super cool new rules... 139 00:05:10,157 --> 00:05:13,530 - Oh, nice. - That are also super mandatory. 140 00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:15,835 Uh, we can't use Facebook anymore? 141 00:05:15,869 --> 00:05:17,404 - Are you serious? - That's right. 142 00:05:17,439 --> 00:05:20,878 Massive time waster. Kills productivity. 143 00:05:20,913 --> 00:05:22,281 Hey, sanitation. 144 00:05:22,315 --> 00:05:25,487 Listen, let's talk health insurance. 145 00:05:25,521 --> 00:05:26,924 Your dependents don't have it anymore. 146 00:05:26,958 --> 00:05:28,126 Have some illegal cheese. 147 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,865 No cell phone usage on City Hall property? 148 00:05:30,899 --> 00:05:33,236 That's not fair, my cell phone is how I avoid doing work. 149 00:05:33,270 --> 00:05:36,175 Bathroom breaks should be limited to five minutes? 150 00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:37,812 I can't shower in five minutes. 151 00:05:37,847 --> 00:05:39,448 See, he's acting all loosey-goosey, 152 00:05:39,482 --> 00:05:41,485 but that little dude's wound so tight, 153 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,256 - he's gonna pop. ♪ Hey, sanitation 154 00:05:48,133 --> 00:05:50,136 Oh, what happened to our spirit dogs? 155 00:05:50,171 --> 00:05:52,040 I came up with a way better game. 156 00:05:52,075 --> 00:05:54,612 Behold your spirit kangaroo. 157 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,382 Tom, you are a blue flyer. 158 00:05:56,416 --> 00:05:58,887 So am I. So are you and Donna. 159 00:05:58,922 --> 00:06:00,190 And look at Ron. Look at Ron. 160 00:06:00,224 --> 00:06:01,659 I mean... 161 00:06:01,693 --> 00:06:04,331 Doesn't Ron look exactly like a blue flyer? 162 00:06:04,366 --> 00:06:07,070 There aren't that many different types of kangaroos. 163 00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:09,675 Either way, hell of a game, right, guys? 164 00:06:09,709 --> 00:06:11,245 Presentations are upon us, 165 00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:13,583 so, Tom, which step are you at in 166 00:06:13,617 --> 00:06:15,788 The Leslie Knope Project Preparedness Super System? 167 00:06:15,822 --> 00:06:17,157 Yeah, once you got on the city council, 168 00:06:17,191 --> 00:06:18,626 - we kinda stopped doin' that. - What? 169 00:06:18,661 --> 00:06:20,030 Tom, no, you cannot drop 170 00:06:20,064 --> 00:06:22,066 The Leslie Knope Project Preparedness Super System. 171 00:06:22,068 --> 00:06:25,240 It was developed over thousands of government presentations 172 00:06:25,274 --> 00:06:27,177 that I gave over the past ten years. 173 00:06:27,211 --> 00:06:30,183 - It is my very soul. - Well, I have my own system. 174 00:06:30,217 --> 00:06:32,020 Step one: Chill out a bit. 175 00:06:32,055 --> 00:06:33,656 Step two: Get up there and rip it. 176 00:06:33,691 --> 00:06:35,861 That's your plan? To... to rip it? 177 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,266 Leslie, this is Tom's project. 178 00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:40,203 Perhaps you should let him do things his way. 179 00:06:40,237 --> 00:06:42,942 Sure, yeah, you should probably just rip it. 180 00:06:42,976 --> 00:06:44,578 I think that's better than going 181 00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:46,582 with a tried and true 80-step system 182 00:06:46,617 --> 00:06:48,419 that led to... and I quote... 183 00:06:48,454 --> 00:06:51,125 "The most thorough and, dare we say, at times, 184 00:06:51,159 --> 00:06:53,463 over-prepared presentation that we've seen." 185 00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:54,899 And yeah, that quote came from 186 00:06:54,934 --> 00:06:57,437 the Indiana blue ribbon panel on irrigation and drainage. 187 00:06:57,472 --> 00:06:59,408 Fine, I'll go back to your system. 188 00:06:59,442 --> 00:07:01,364 - You're the big dog around here. - Big kangaroo. 189 00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:02,780 And thank you. 190 00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:05,134 Well, yeah, I was gone for a while 191 00:07:05,254 --> 00:07:06,857 and things are a little different around here, 192 00:07:06,891 --> 00:07:08,162 but this is still my house. 193 00:07:08,282 --> 00:07:10,931 I invented this parks game, son. 194 00:07:10,966 --> 00:07:13,336 Oh. 195 00:07:13,370 --> 00:07:15,545 Damn it! When did they put a lamp here? 196 00:07:18,460 --> 00:07:20,247 Hey. The boys in blue? 197 00:07:21,416 --> 00:07:23,452 Ah, what can I do for you... for? 198 00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:24,989 We got a tip about some food 199 00:07:25,023 --> 00:07:26,793 entering the country illegally. 200 00:07:26,827 --> 00:07:28,897 No... no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 201 00:07:28,931 --> 00:07:30,867 Thi... it's just cheese, guys. 202 00:07:30,902 --> 00:07:32,503 Uh, I got it in France. 203 00:07:32,538 --> 00:07:34,507 Okay. Did you declare it on your customs form 204 00:07:34,542 --> 00:07:37,180 when you reentered the country? 205 00:07:37,214 --> 00:07:39,651 We're gonna need you to come down to the station. 206 00:07:39,685 --> 00:07:41,254 I'm sure that's not necessary. 207 00:07:41,289 --> 00:07:43,025 Let's just... this is really good cheese. 208 00:07:43,059 --> 00:07:44,561 - You should try some. - Are you trying to bribe us? 209 00:07:44,595 --> 00:07:47,667 No! Oh, God. I surrender. 210 00:07:49,538 --> 00:07:51,274 - Step forward. - Okay, okay. 211 00:07:51,309 --> 00:07:52,510 There you go. 212 00:07:52,544 --> 00:07:54,481 This is so exciting. 213 00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:56,786 Hi, folks. When's the big day? 214 00:07:56,820 --> 00:07:58,890 I assume this is a, you know... 215 00:07:59,926 --> 00:08:01,461 Oh. No. 216 00:08:01,496 --> 00:08:02,831 This isn't a shotgun wedding, 217 00:08:02,866 --> 00:08:04,969 although, yes, she is pregnant, 218 00:08:05,003 --> 00:08:07,240 and, yes, we did just decide to get married today. 219 00:08:07,274 --> 00:08:09,044 We haven't told our families 220 00:08:09,078 --> 00:08:11,081 or chosen a venue, 221 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,985 but it's not a shotgun wedding. 222 00:08:13,019 --> 00:08:14,554 We've been planning ours for months. 223 00:08:14,588 --> 00:08:16,258 You wouldn't believe how much there is to do. 224 00:08:16,292 --> 00:08:17,928 Invitations, table settings, 225 00:08:17,962 --> 00:08:19,631 color scheme, dance lessons. 226 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:20,699 And that's just for the rehearsal dinner. 227 00:08:20,735 --> 00:08:21,969 Oh. 228 00:08:22,004 --> 00:08:24,073 Seriously, that's just for the rehearsal dinner. 229 00:08:24,108 --> 00:08:26,244 That sounds elaborate. 230 00:08:26,279 --> 00:08:28,148 All we did was punch "jewelry store" 231 00:08:28,183 --> 00:08:29,517 into our car GPS. 232 00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:31,721 You remember that romantic moment, Chris? 233 00:08:31,757 --> 00:08:33,525 I was getting gas. 234 00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:35,296 No, I don't remember it. 235 00:08:37,301 --> 00:08:39,704 Hey, Tom, I don't mean to bug you or anything, 236 00:08:39,740 --> 00:08:42,310 but I notice that my super system binder is closed. 237 00:08:42,344 --> 00:08:43,512 Just checking that you had a chance 238 00:08:43,546 --> 00:08:45,549 to refamiliarize yourself entirely. 239 00:08:45,584 --> 00:08:47,320 Yeah, flipped through it. Looks good. 240 00:08:47,354 --> 00:08:49,023 Huh. You're lying. 241 00:08:49,058 --> 00:08:52,230 I placed a single strand of hair along the edge, 242 00:08:52,264 --> 00:08:53,833 and that secret strand is unbroken. 243 00:08:53,868 --> 00:08:55,369 Whose hair is that? It's brown. 244 00:08:55,404 --> 00:08:56,705 Look, it seems like you don't even care 245 00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:58,008 about your presentation. 246 00:08:58,042 --> 00:08:59,711 Au contraire. I'm working on it right now. 247 00:08:59,746 --> 00:09:01,681 And what's the most important part of a presentation? 248 00:09:01,716 --> 00:09:02,951 - Content. - The presentation. 249 00:09:02,986 --> 00:09:04,855 Okay. Tom, you need hard data. 250 00:09:04,890 --> 00:09:06,191 You need facts to make your case. 251 00:09:06,225 --> 00:09:07,560 And then you need two funny quotes 252 00:09:07,594 --> 00:09:08,763 and an inspirational one. 253 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,301 You know, a classic ha-ha-hmm. 254 00:09:11,335 --> 00:09:12,470 Look, I think you need to take a page 255 00:09:12,504 --> 00:09:14,909 out of my system and chill out a bit, okay? 256 00:09:14,943 --> 00:09:16,511 I got this. 257 00:09:16,546 --> 00:09:18,048 Okay, fine, I trust you. 258 00:09:18,082 --> 00:09:20,019 But I think you're gonna fail, and you're a ticking time bomb. 259 00:09:20,053 --> 00:09:21,388 - What's that? - Nothing, good luck. 260 00:09:21,422 --> 00:09:23,091 - This is an elk hair. - Yes. 261 00:09:23,126 --> 00:09:24,762 It's the most effective hair for binder security. 262 00:09:24,796 --> 00:09:25,764 You know that, Ron. 263 00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:27,333 If Tom gives that presentation, 264 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,037 it is going to be a total disaster 265 00:09:29,071 --> 00:09:31,441 for both him and the department. 266 00:09:31,476 --> 00:09:33,178 I cannot sit idly by 267 00:09:33,213 --> 00:09:35,149 and watch this terrible thing happen. 268 00:09:35,183 --> 00:09:36,685 I mean, I can barely sit idly by 269 00:09:36,719 --> 00:09:38,055 and watch good things happen. 270 00:09:38,089 --> 00:09:39,624 We've got a couple of customs agents 271 00:09:39,658 --> 00:09:41,661 coming down from the border, and they are not happy. 272 00:09:41,696 --> 00:09:43,499 I can't believe this. I never break the law. 273 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,336 - I've never even jaywalked. - Never? 274 00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:48,075 I mean, I-I-I... everyone does it sometimes. 275 00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:49,945 Just add that to the charges. 276 00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:52,717 Well, well, well, we got a hit on your prints. 277 00:09:52,752 --> 00:09:54,955 Seems you're wanted for tax fraud in Colorado? 278 00:09:54,990 --> 00:09:56,124 What? 279 00:09:56,158 --> 00:09:57,861 I've never even been to Colorado. 280 00:09:57,896 --> 00:09:59,497 I mean, I had a layover in Denver once. 281 00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,468 Man, you can't keep your story straight, can you? 282 00:10:01,502 --> 00:10:02,503 - Come on! - Oh. 283 00:10:02,538 --> 00:10:03,907 Here comes the customs guys now. 284 00:10:03,941 --> 00:10:05,543 Fellas, he's all yours. 285 00:10:05,577 --> 00:10:08,615 You're pranked. 286 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:09,985 You gotta see the stupid look on your face. 287 00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:11,388 Check this out. I took a picture. 288 00:10:11,422 --> 00:10:13,659 - Classic! - You seemed a little uptight. 289 00:10:13,693 --> 00:10:17,099 Thought we'd have some fun with our new boss. 290 00:10:17,134 --> 00:10:18,903 Wow. Thi... you got me. 291 00:10:18,938 --> 00:10:20,673 Good one, makin' me think I was gonna like 292 00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:21,742 die in federal prison... 293 00:10:21,777 --> 00:10:23,111 Ah, that's super funny, 294 00:10:23,146 --> 00:10:25,683 you scamps. 295 00:10:26,803 --> 00:10:28,966 Now, Stu, I know that you're thinking about retiring, 296 00:10:28,991 --> 00:10:30,593 and I am here to ask you to reconsider. 297 00:10:30,627 --> 00:10:31,628 What do you say? 298 00:10:31,662 --> 00:10:33,933 Keep that Lafayette Park stand open, 299 00:10:33,968 --> 00:10:35,703 pumpin' out the stew like you do. 300 00:10:35,738 --> 00:10:37,440 I don't know. 301 00:10:37,474 --> 00:10:39,812 I'm looking forward to spending time with my wife, 302 00:10:39,846 --> 00:10:41,648 working on some new hobbies. 303 00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:43,719 I was thinking about getting into bisques. 304 00:10:43,754 --> 00:10:45,857 Stu, you have been a staple 305 00:10:45,892 --> 00:10:48,228 in the parks department system for years. 306 00:10:48,263 --> 00:10:51,201 Retirement is for the birds. You're gonna be so bored. 307 00:10:51,235 --> 00:10:54,173 I'm gonna say this because you need to hear it. 308 00:10:54,208 --> 00:10:56,444 Screw bisque. 309 00:10:56,479 --> 00:10:58,048 - That makes a lot of sense. - Yeah. 310 00:10:58,082 --> 00:11:00,119 What now? What do I do? 311 00:11:00,153 --> 00:11:01,989 Well, we're gonna need to convince the business council 312 00:11:02,024 --> 00:11:04,394 to keep you around, but that's not for you to worry about. 313 00:11:04,428 --> 00:11:06,064 I'll take care of it. You just keep on 314 00:11:06,098 --> 00:11:07,066 stewin' what you stew. 315 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,837 Thanks, Leslie. 316 00:11:08,871 --> 00:11:10,539 This calls for a toast. 317 00:11:11,743 --> 00:11:15,249 Susan? Stew flutes, please. 318 00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:16,318 Ah. 319 00:11:18,122 --> 00:11:20,526 To stew. 320 00:11:22,030 --> 00:11:23,398 Mm. Oh, my God. 321 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,636 - That's very hot. - Mm-hmm. 322 00:11:25,670 --> 00:11:27,106 Congratulations. This is a beauty. 323 00:11:27,140 --> 00:11:28,977 If you like, I could engrave the date 324 00:11:29,011 --> 00:11:30,446 on the inside of the band. 325 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:31,816 That may be tough, 326 00:11:31,850 --> 00:11:33,619 'cause we actually haven't discussed it yet. 327 00:11:33,653 --> 00:11:36,591 We could engrave "2014" 328 00:11:36,626 --> 00:11:39,430 - or "TBD." - Hang on. 329 00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:41,568 If neither of us has ever thought about this stuff, 330 00:11:41,602 --> 00:11:43,338 then maybe there's a reason. 331 00:11:43,373 --> 00:11:45,342 When you think about it, we are already 332 00:11:45,377 --> 00:11:47,280 more married than most married people. 333 00:11:47,314 --> 00:11:49,183 Right? I mean, we're having a child together. 334 00:11:49,218 --> 00:11:50,386 We're moving to a new city. 335 00:11:50,420 --> 00:11:52,023 You let me pee with the door open 336 00:11:52,057 --> 00:11:53,625 so I could watch the end of Grey's Anatomy. 337 00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:56,131 That was a fantastic season finale 338 00:11:56,165 --> 00:11:58,035 and a show that is literally 339 00:11:58,069 --> 00:11:59,704 a never-ending roller coaster of emotion. 340 00:11:59,739 --> 00:12:01,876 I mean, why spend thousands of dollars 341 00:12:01,910 --> 00:12:03,679 just to reaffirm what we already know, 342 00:12:03,713 --> 00:12:05,416 which is that we love each other? 343 00:12:05,450 --> 00:12:08,588 That is so beautiful. 344 00:12:08,623 --> 00:12:11,728 Theodore, we would like to return that ring. 345 00:12:11,763 --> 00:12:13,098 And get a refund, please. 346 00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:14,400 Maybe we should talk this over too. 347 00:12:14,435 --> 00:12:16,137 - Oh, come on. - Think what we could do 348 00:12:16,172 --> 00:12:17,273 if we didn't buy this ring. 349 00:12:17,307 --> 00:12:20,713 I mean, this could go towards buying a house. 350 00:12:20,748 --> 00:12:22,316 You have a lovely store. 351 00:12:22,351 --> 00:12:24,120 - Hey, boss? - Hey. 352 00:12:24,154 --> 00:12:27,259 I was just printing out my minesweeper high score, 353 00:12:27,294 --> 00:12:28,730 and I noticed this memo. 354 00:12:28,764 --> 00:12:30,734 You're punishing us for the prank? 355 00:12:30,768 --> 00:12:32,069 No, no, no, no, no, no. 356 00:12:32,104 --> 00:12:33,973 It's just like a warning memo. 357 00:12:34,008 --> 00:12:35,609 Like, "Hey, all in good fun, 358 00:12:35,643 --> 00:12:37,246 "but I'm your boss, and if you do it again, 359 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:38,582 you're suspended." 360 00:12:38,616 --> 00:12:40,586 - That kind of thing. - Listen. 361 00:12:40,620 --> 00:12:44,494 I know that you're the governor or whatever, 362 00:12:44,528 --> 00:12:46,264 and I'm just government junior. 363 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,101 - What? - I feel like you're blowing it. 364 00:12:48,136 --> 00:12:49,270 If you want people to like you, 365 00:12:49,305 --> 00:12:50,606 you have to play along. 366 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:52,844 Don't punish Donna and April. 367 00:12:52,879 --> 00:12:54,013 Prank them back. 368 00:12:54,048 --> 00:12:56,051 I guess I could stand to loosen up a little, 369 00:12:56,085 --> 00:12:58,655 but I don't know how to pull a prank. 370 00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,526 Dude, okay. Well, I could help you. 371 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:01,963 - Yeah? - Yeah. 372 00:13:01,997 --> 00:13:04,534 I once did the best prank of all time. 373 00:13:04,568 --> 00:13:06,271 I dumped all of my boss's action figures 374 00:13:06,305 --> 00:13:08,408 - into a fish tank. - Yeah, that was me. 375 00:13:08,443 --> 00:13:09,577 And I didn't really like it. 376 00:13:09,612 --> 00:13:11,181 Classic. 377 00:13:11,215 --> 00:13:12,851 Great news, guys. 378 00:13:12,885 --> 00:13:14,888 - I just saved your bacon. - Impossible. 379 00:13:14,923 --> 00:13:16,124 You don't even know where it is. 380 00:13:16,158 --> 00:13:17,493 I know you were excited to get 381 00:13:17,527 --> 00:13:20,032 in front of the committee and rip it, 382 00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:21,401 but in the spirit of teamwork, 383 00:13:21,435 --> 00:13:24,340 I unilaterally decided to bring Stu out of retirement. 384 00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:25,609 - So pressure's off. - What? 385 00:13:25,644 --> 00:13:27,546 - I spent a lot of time on this. - Doin' what, 386 00:13:27,581 --> 00:13:29,684 - putting mousse in your hair? - It's a gel-based serum. 387 00:13:29,718 --> 00:13:31,721 Second of all, who uses mousse still? 388 00:13:31,757 --> 00:13:33,425 Oh, God. Leslie. 389 00:13:33,459 --> 00:13:35,028 Let's put our differences aside for a second. 390 00:13:35,063 --> 00:13:36,799 Friend to friend, do you still use mousse? 391 00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:40,874 No, I use the juicy space thing... whatever you do. 392 00:13:40,908 --> 00:13:43,311 The point is you weren't ready for this, Tom. 393 00:13:43,346 --> 00:13:45,649 Stu's sales are flat. Lemonade's the future. 394 00:13:45,684 --> 00:13:46,852 I'm still doing my presentation. 395 00:13:46,887 --> 00:13:48,655 I'm still doing my stew presentation, 396 00:13:48,690 --> 00:13:49,858 and we'll see which one the committee likes. 397 00:13:49,893 --> 00:13:51,594 - Fine. - Fine. 398 00:13:55,938 --> 00:13:57,039 Yeah. 399 00:13:57,074 --> 00:13:59,277 I didn't think so. 400 00:14:00,976 --> 00:14:02,697 On the other hand, there are some benefits 401 00:14:02,722 --> 00:14:03,991 to being married: Taxes, 402 00:14:04,026 --> 00:14:07,162 health insurance, and I don't have to feel weird 403 00:14:07,282 --> 00:14:08,701 when hotel employees call me "Mr. Perkins." 404 00:14:08,737 --> 00:14:11,073 Yeah, that makes me feel weird too. 405 00:14:11,108 --> 00:14:13,211 Maybe we should. I don't know anymore. 406 00:14:13,245 --> 00:14:15,682 "Maybe we should. I don't know anymore." 407 00:14:15,716 --> 00:14:17,619 Ann, that is a beautiful sentiment. 408 00:14:17,653 --> 00:14:18,789 Okay, you're all set. 409 00:14:18,823 --> 00:14:20,325 Credit card's been fully refunded. 410 00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:21,627 Perfect timing. 411 00:14:21,662 --> 00:14:23,531 We are going to buy this ring. 412 00:14:23,565 --> 00:14:26,103 Charge it. 413 00:14:27,975 --> 00:14:31,815 Ann Perkins, will you marry me? 414 00:14:31,849 --> 00:14:34,520 - I don't know! - Me either! 415 00:14:34,554 --> 00:14:37,225 - Maybe let's not? - Yeah, I think maybe not. 416 00:14:37,260 --> 00:14:40,031 Okay. Ring's yours again. Hello? 417 00:14:40,066 --> 00:14:42,904 Actually, we don't want the ring. 418 00:14:42,938 --> 00:14:44,006 Unbelievable. 419 00:14:46,244 --> 00:14:47,847 Leslie, look. 420 00:14:47,881 --> 00:14:50,051 I'm the last person to want to deprive the world 421 00:14:50,086 --> 00:14:52,757 of more stew, but are you sure you wanna do this? 422 00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:55,161 Look, I love Tom, but you and I both know 423 00:14:55,196 --> 00:14:56,965 that he's not ready to step up. 424 00:14:56,999 --> 00:14:59,169 Don't you remember his last presentation on topsoil? 425 00:14:59,204 --> 00:15:00,973 The botched laser show? 426 00:15:01,007 --> 00:15:02,642 Larry still can't see purple. 427 00:15:02,677 --> 00:15:04,313 That was Larry's fault. 428 00:15:04,347 --> 00:15:06,550 He picked up the laser and stared right into it. 429 00:15:06,585 --> 00:15:08,521 I know, but still, Tom is all flash 430 00:15:08,555 --> 00:15:10,993 - and no substance. - That's the old Tom. 431 00:15:11,027 --> 00:15:12,362 You've been gone for a while, Leslie. 432 00:15:12,397 --> 00:15:13,698 Tom has changed. 433 00:15:13,733 --> 00:15:16,003 He ran a business, sold it for a profit. 434 00:15:16,037 --> 00:15:18,341 He's also been working here for six years, 435 00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:20,311 and he's learned a lot from you. 436 00:15:20,346 --> 00:15:21,514 At some point, you're gonna have 437 00:15:21,548 --> 00:15:24,353 to trust him to do his job. 438 00:15:25,656 --> 00:15:27,225 You guys. You guys. 439 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,394 - Be cool. - What's going on? 440 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,766 I kind of convinced Ben to prank you guys, 441 00:15:30,801 --> 00:15:32,102 and it got a little out of hand. 442 00:15:32,136 --> 00:15:34,306 I probably should've said no to some of his ideas, 443 00:15:34,340 --> 00:15:35,642 but he's on his way here right now. 444 00:15:35,676 --> 00:15:37,412 Here he is. Just be cool. 445 00:15:37,446 --> 00:15:38,782 Hey, guys. What's up? 446 00:15:38,817 --> 00:15:40,685 Um, oh, I just remembered. 447 00:15:40,719 --> 00:15:42,790 Can I show you something out to the front area? 448 00:15:42,825 --> 00:15:45,462 And leave your cell phones because of no reason. 449 00:15:45,496 --> 00:15:47,733 Just leave anything that can't get wet, actually, 450 00:15:47,768 --> 00:15:50,472 like you would normally. 451 00:15:52,845 --> 00:15:54,948 Okay, here we go to the parking lot now. 452 00:15:54,982 --> 00:15:57,452 Wow, this is really sad. 453 00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:00,760 Yep, follow to me, guys. 454 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:04,399 Just going to the parking lot for normal government reasons. 455 00:16:05,937 --> 00:16:06,972 Sorry, can't go through with this. 456 00:16:07,006 --> 00:16:08,341 I was gonna pull a prank. 457 00:16:08,375 --> 00:16:09,543 - No! - Yeah. 458 00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:12,716 I hired these guys in ski masks to kidnap us, 459 00:16:12,751 --> 00:16:14,353 and I was gonna pretend to be a hero. 460 00:16:14,387 --> 00:16:16,657 They were gonna shoot me and drive the van 461 00:16:16,691 --> 00:16:18,361 into the river, and that's when the divers 462 00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:20,198 would go in, pull you guys out of the water, 463 00:16:20,232 --> 00:16:21,802 and I would be standing on the shore like, 464 00:16:21,836 --> 00:16:23,604 "Hey, you get pranked much?" 465 00:16:23,639 --> 00:16:24,941 What the? 466 00:16:24,975 --> 00:16:27,880 I even got these squibs from a special effects guy, 467 00:16:27,915 --> 00:16:29,884 and I was gonna say this code word. 468 00:16:29,919 --> 00:16:31,600 And that's when I would push this button. 469 00:16:31,621 --> 00:16:35,295 No, no, no, no, no! 470 00:16:35,329 --> 00:16:38,134 Oh, my God. You got blood all over me. 471 00:16:38,168 --> 00:16:39,436 Thank you. 472 00:16:39,471 --> 00:16:40,840 I mean it. 473 00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:43,846 - Ben, that was amazing. - Really? 474 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:45,448 Best prank ever. 475 00:16:46,953 --> 00:16:50,458 I'm sorry, buddy, daddy can't get home to tuck you in. 476 00:16:50,493 --> 00:16:51,828 Oh, how old is your son? 477 00:16:51,863 --> 00:16:53,164 Just pick a thing. 478 00:16:53,198 --> 00:16:55,435 Honey, look at this. This is what I want. 479 00:16:55,469 --> 00:16:57,740 I don't want a ring. I don't want a wedding. 480 00:16:57,774 --> 00:16:59,176 I just want this locket 481 00:16:59,210 --> 00:17:01,013 with a picture of our child in it. 482 00:17:01,047 --> 00:17:02,950 I mean, we've never been traditional. 483 00:17:02,985 --> 00:17:04,921 We made out the first night we ever met. 484 00:17:04,955 --> 00:17:06,892 And when we did date, we broke up, 485 00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:07,894 but you didn't realize it, 486 00:17:07,928 --> 00:17:09,329 and that was very embarrassing for you. 487 00:17:09,364 --> 00:17:11,300 Yeah, let's maybe not talk about that part right now. 488 00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,204 And then we got pregnant as friends, 489 00:17:13,238 --> 00:17:14,774 and then we fell in love. 490 00:17:14,808 --> 00:17:16,243 We've never been very conventional, 491 00:17:16,278 --> 00:17:18,648 so why start now? 492 00:17:18,682 --> 00:17:20,819 Theodore? We will not be needing that ring, 493 00:17:20,854 --> 00:17:23,291 but we would like to purchase this locket. 494 00:17:23,325 --> 00:17:24,459 How much? 495 00:17:24,494 --> 00:17:26,230 Just take it and get outta here. 496 00:17:26,264 --> 00:17:28,234 - Thank you! - Thanks. 497 00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:33,578 We're here to discuss a business contract 498 00:17:33,612 --> 00:17:35,950 for the Lafayette Park food stand. 499 00:17:35,984 --> 00:17:37,619 Miss Knope, you've always steered 500 00:17:37,653 --> 00:17:39,256 this committee in the right direction. 501 00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:43,030 Why do you think we should renew Hot Stu's lease? 502 00:17:44,701 --> 00:17:47,005 Well, frankly, it's because of Stu. 503 00:17:47,039 --> 00:17:50,913 Here's a man who was ready to retire, 504 00:17:50,947 --> 00:17:52,382 spend time with his family, travel. 505 00:17:52,416 --> 00:17:55,521 And then he realized, "No, I wanna spend my time 506 00:17:55,556 --> 00:17:57,927 "in a small metal box all summer, 507 00:17:57,961 --> 00:18:01,868 bent over a boiling cauldron of steaming, bubbling meat." 508 00:18:01,903 --> 00:18:03,237 Making stew is hard: 509 00:18:03,272 --> 00:18:05,208 Up at the crack of dawn, backbreaking labor, 510 00:18:05,242 --> 00:18:07,980 your clothes smelling like salt and gristle. 511 00:18:08,015 --> 00:18:09,416 Sure, profits are minimal, 512 00:18:09,450 --> 00:18:10,886 but Stu doesn't care about that. 513 00:18:10,921 --> 00:18:13,658 Maybe a year extension isn't enough. 514 00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:15,361 Maybe we should make it five years. 515 00:18:15,396 --> 00:18:18,401 Heck, why don't we give him a lifetime deal? 516 00:18:18,435 --> 00:18:20,672 I'd like to see Stu ladling out 517 00:18:20,706 --> 00:18:22,777 his pungent beef smoothies 518 00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:26,751 until we bury him under that shed. 519 00:18:26,786 --> 00:18:29,022 I think I've made a terrible mistake. 520 00:18:29,057 --> 00:18:30,658 Okay, that was bleak. 521 00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:34,032 Uh, Mr. Haverford, you have a presentation as well? 522 00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:38,274 Hey. Rip it. 523 00:18:38,308 --> 00:18:40,813 There's nothing more American than lemonade. 524 00:18:40,847 --> 00:18:43,351 Just sayin' the word makes you wanna drink some. 525 00:18:43,385 --> 00:18:45,288 And now you can. Check under your seats. 526 00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:50,064 Heh, hey. Has my name on it. 527 00:18:50,099 --> 00:18:52,302 Yes, it does. Classic for you, Carter. 528 00:18:52,336 --> 00:18:54,172 Darva, yours is a pink lemonade. 529 00:18:54,207 --> 00:18:56,510 - I know you love that. - Because I like pink. 530 00:18:56,544 --> 00:18:57,780 That's right. Now, who here 531 00:18:57,814 --> 00:19:01,286 likes laser shows? 532 00:19:01,321 --> 00:19:05,361 Summer foot traffic in Lafayette Park has increased 23%. 533 00:19:05,396 --> 00:19:07,532 The Indiana Brothers are the fastest-growing 534 00:19:07,566 --> 00:19:09,336 beverage company in the Midwest. 535 00:19:09,370 --> 00:19:11,407 My projections show they can increase 536 00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:15,048 government revenue 30% over the next five years. 537 00:19:15,082 --> 00:19:19,297 Plus, they've agreed to waive their franchise fee. 538 00:19:19,537 --> 00:19:21,941 Look, guys, I'm sorry about all the new rules, 539 00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:24,433 But... you know, I want you to like me. 540 00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:26,670 But I-I also really need you to respect me. 541 00:19:26,705 --> 00:19:28,976 I respect you, little buddy. 542 00:19:29,010 --> 00:19:29,978 Come here. 543 00:19:30,012 --> 00:19:31,213 Mm, respect noogie. 544 00:19:31,248 --> 00:19:32,750 Ah! 545 00:19:32,784 --> 00:19:34,553 We didn't prank you 'cause we don't respect you. 546 00:19:34,587 --> 00:19:36,090 We did it 'cause we love you. 547 00:19:38,061 --> 00:19:40,866 Well, that's actually not how respect is spelled. 548 00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:42,335 - Yes. - According to Urethra Franklin, 549 00:19:42,370 --> 00:19:43,537 that's exactly how it's spelled. 550 00:19:43,572 --> 00:19:46,110 Hey, Wyatt. You were a good sport earlier. 551 00:19:46,144 --> 00:19:47,445 No hard feelings? 552 00:19:48,850 --> 00:19:50,953 Here's a little gift for you for believing in me. 553 00:19:50,987 --> 00:19:54,092 - Oh. - It's a gel-based hair serum. 554 00:19:54,127 --> 00:19:56,463 Enough with the mousse, for real. 555 00:19:56,498 --> 00:19:58,301 Okay. 556 00:19:58,335 --> 00:20:00,973 Well, Ron, you were right. Tom has really grown up. 557 00:20:01,007 --> 00:20:02,442 You seem merely overjoyed 558 00:20:02,476 --> 00:20:04,246 instead of irritatingly ecstatic. 559 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,250 - Why? - Well, Tom's come into his own. 560 00:20:06,284 --> 00:20:08,354 April runs Animal Control. 561 00:20:08,388 --> 00:20:10,658 I mean, does this department even need me anymore? 562 00:20:10,693 --> 00:20:13,464 No. We do not. 563 00:20:13,498 --> 00:20:15,034 April and Tom started out 564 00:20:15,069 --> 00:20:17,539 as two of the most apathetic people I had ever met. 565 00:20:17,573 --> 00:20:19,309 It's why I hired them. 566 00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:21,113 Then you betrayed me and turned them 567 00:20:21,147 --> 00:20:23,651 into efficient and caring government employees. 568 00:20:23,685 --> 00:20:26,657 This office can indeed function without you. 569 00:20:26,691 --> 00:20:28,461 And soon, it'll have to. 570 00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:29,797 Was that a death threat? 571 00:20:29,832 --> 00:20:33,037 We both know you're not gonna be here forever. 572 00:20:33,071 --> 00:20:34,573 This is a weigh station 573 00:20:34,607 --> 00:20:36,845 on the road to bigger and better things. 574 00:20:36,879 --> 00:20:39,516 Whenever you do move on, 575 00:20:39,550 --> 00:20:43,024 it should please you to know that... 576 00:20:43,058 --> 00:20:44,326 God help me... 577 00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:47,632 you've built a well-functioning government agency. 578 00:20:47,666 --> 00:20:48,869 Oh, that reminds me. 579 00:20:48,903 --> 00:20:50,605 I know you don't open your mail, but I do. 580 00:20:50,639 --> 00:20:53,277 And because you created Tom's position... 581 00:20:53,312 --> 00:20:54,914 business liaison... and it's already 582 00:20:54,948 --> 00:20:58,054 financially paying off, you have received 583 00:20:58,088 --> 00:21:00,625 Pawnee's government employee of the month. 584 00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:03,464 I mean, it has taken... 585 00:21:20,453 --> 00:21:27,808 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com