1
00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:09,704
What do you mean, you can't?
Look...

2
00:00:09,967 --> 00:00:12,348
I am throwing a farewell party
for my best friend, Ann Perkins.

3
00:00:12,363 --> 00:00:14,360
And if she casually mentioned 3 years ago

4
00:00:14,475 --> 00:00:16,628
that she thought indoor
fireworks would be cool

5
00:00:16,743 --> 00:00:18,651
then guess what,
you're gonna give me indoor fireworks.

6
00:00:18,766 --> 00:00:21,729
Tonight's biggest surprise
is 5 years in the making.

7
00:00:21,844 --> 00:00:24,129
It all goes back to when I
first met my best friend.

8
00:00:24,244 --> 00:00:25,265
I'm here to talk about

9
00:00:25,380 --> 00:00:26,804
the abandoned lot
on Sullivan Street.

10
00:00:26,853 --> 00:00:29,623
I've been trying to get this
thing fixed for months,

11
00:00:29,656 --> 00:00:31,256
and it's government-owned

12
00:00:31,290 --> 00:00:32,490
and you need
to do something about it.

13
00:00:32,522 --> 00:00:34,139
- I will help you.
- Is that a promise?

14
00:00:34,172 --> 00:00:35,692
It's more than a promise.

15
00:00:35,709 --> 00:00:37,438
It's a pinky promise.

16
00:00:37,487 --> 00:00:39,809
That promise launched
a friendship so grand

17
00:00:39,842 --> 00:00:42,116
it takes 103 scrapbooks
to capture it.

18
00:00:42,148 --> 00:00:44,757
I have secretly arranged
to officially break ground

19
00:00:44,775 --> 00:00:46,487
on Pawnee commons at midnight,

20
00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:50,012
fulfilling my pinky promise
that I made five years ago.

21
00:00:50,044 --> 00:00:53,230
Oh, ice cream sandwich
taste test!

22
00:00:53,279 --> 00:00:54,928
That was our biggest fight.

23
00:00:54,961 --> 00:00:56,514
- Hey, Knope.
- Harold.

24
00:00:56,546 --> 00:00:58,660
You're breaking ground on
the Pawnee commons tonight?

25
00:00:58,693 --> 00:01:00,678
Public works
never signed off on that.

26
00:01:00,711 --> 00:01:02,248
Look, your office
was giving me a hard time,

27
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,057
so I had to call in
a few favors.

28
00:01:04,090 --> 00:01:06,140
I don't like it
when people go over my head.

29
00:01:06,188 --> 00:01:07,660
Understood.
I will make a note of that.

30
00:01:07,677 --> 00:01:08,589
Would you like a treat?

31
00:01:08,623 --> 00:01:10,255
I run that department

32
00:01:10,289 --> 00:01:13,555
and I do not appreciate...

33
00:01:13,588 --> 00:01:14,996
- Damn, that's really good.
- Right?

34
00:01:15,029 --> 00:01:16,166
There's gonna be a lot
of these at the party.

35
00:01:16,198 --> 00:01:17,223
- You should come by.
- I kno...

36
00:01:17,255 --> 00:01:18,616
I get it.
I know what you're doing.

37
00:01:18,648 --> 00:01:20,714
And I still... is there
a little crunch in there?

38
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:21,803
- Hazelnut.
- Ooh.

39
00:01:21,836 --> 00:01:22,764
Ooh, right?

40
00:01:22,796 --> 00:01:23,933
See you tonight.

41
00:01:23,966 --> 00:01:25,951
Okay, well,
let's go set up this party.

42
00:01:25,984 --> 00:01:27,152
April, thank you.

43
00:01:27,186 --> 00:01:29,795
I know you may tease Ann,
but deep down inside

44
00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:31,172
I can tell that you really care.

45
00:01:31,205 --> 00:01:36,073
Ann's leaving town and saying
painful good-byes to loved ones.

46
00:01:36,091 --> 00:01:39,404
Greatest day of my life!

47
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:51,749
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

48
00:01:59,970 --> 00:02:02,388
Thank you all so much for
helping me with these boxes.

49
00:02:02,437 --> 00:02:05,158
I'm just a little behind because
every time I start, I get...

50
00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:07,656
a little emotional.

51
00:02:07,689 --> 00:02:09,323
Hey, that box
has my name on it.

52
00:02:09,356 --> 00:02:10,812
Hey, this one
has my name on it.

53
00:02:10,844 --> 00:02:12,974
This one
has plates' name on it.

54
00:02:13,006 --> 00:02:15,104
You have just found
your buddy boxes.

55
00:02:15,153 --> 00:02:17,843
Each box contains a memento
of our friendship.

56
00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:19,092
I was gonna give them
to you later,

57
00:02:19,124 --> 00:02:22,615
but there is no time
like the present.

58
00:02:22,632 --> 00:02:24,601
Fun pun alert.

59
00:02:24,634 --> 00:02:26,540
A bronzed hamburger.

60
00:02:26,572 --> 00:02:28,749
It's from our turkey versus
beef cook-off, remember?

61
00:02:28,783 --> 00:02:30,127
You were a worthy adversary.

62
00:02:30,161 --> 00:02:32,754
I would have preferred
a regular hamburger for eating,

63
00:02:32,787 --> 00:02:34,580
but this is very nice.

64
00:02:34,628 --> 00:02:37,078
2008 Indiana state audit
spreadsheets?

65
00:02:37,111 --> 00:02:40,329
Man, that year was insane!

66
00:02:40,362 --> 00:02:42,166
That was the year you went
from being an auditor

67
00:02:42,188 --> 00:02:43,116
to a legend.

68
00:02:43,149 --> 00:02:44,718
Whoa!

69
00:02:44,751 --> 00:02:47,024
A picture of me officiating
Leslie and Ben's wedding.

70
00:02:47,057 --> 00:02:49,459
And look, you can
just about see my head.

71
00:02:49,476 --> 00:02:50,708
Thank you so much.

72
00:02:50,725 --> 00:02:52,406
Snakejuice!

73
00:02:52,438 --> 00:02:54,055
I thought these were destroyed
by the FDA.

74
00:02:54,088 --> 00:02:56,217
I did have to go to a very
seedy location to find it,

75
00:02:56,234 --> 00:02:59,293
but now I know where to go to
place a bet on horse fighting.

76
00:03:01,552 --> 00:03:04,194
Okay, don't mention anything
about the groundbreaking to Ann.

77
00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:05,330
Repeat that back to me.

78
00:03:05,379 --> 00:03:06,579
Tell Ann about
the groundbreaking,

79
00:03:06,613 --> 00:03:07,733
frame Ann for murder,

80
00:03:07,782 --> 00:03:09,222
release a deadly virus
into the water supply.

81
00:03:09,239 --> 00:03:10,391
Good.
Oh!

82
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,051
Bon voyage, Ann.

83
00:03:13,083 --> 00:03:14,619
My God, this is amazing.

84
00:03:14,669 --> 00:03:15,740
That's sparkling cider.

85
00:03:15,789 --> 00:03:17,557
Why is there a New Year's Eve
countdown clock

86
00:03:17,584 --> 00:03:18,688
and the Easter bunny?

87
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:19,761
I don't know
when we're gonna be able

88
00:03:19,794 --> 00:03:21,523
to visit each other,
so just to be safe

89
00:03:21,540 --> 00:03:23,957
this party is a celebration
of every event

90
00:03:23,990 --> 00:03:25,398
that's gonna happen this year.

91
00:03:25,432 --> 00:03:28,345
Your birthday, New Year's,
Chinese New Year's, flag day.

92
00:03:28,378 --> 00:03:30,107
Ain't no party like
a Leslie Knope party

93
00:03:30,124 --> 00:03:32,525
'cause a Leslie Knope party
is actually 30 parties.

94
00:03:32,559 --> 00:03:34,496
Knope, you have
out-knoped yourself.

95
00:03:35,665 --> 00:03:37,106
Seems like the party's
dying down. Weird.

96
00:03:37,139 --> 00:03:39,428
Ann, you probably wanna head
to Michigan forever,

97
00:03:39,446 --> 00:03:42,023
so I snuck into your house
and packed a bag for you. Bye.

98
00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:44,313
This is just a bunch
of bras and knives.

99
00:03:44,347 --> 00:03:45,995
And loose onions.

100
00:03:46,028 --> 00:03:47,164
Okay, party!

101
00:03:47,213 --> 00:03:48,557
Don't drink!
Have fun!

102
00:03:48,574 --> 00:03:52,353
Hey, so we have a little
farewell gift for you.

103
00:03:52,387 --> 00:03:54,772
We all pitched in
and got you a gift card

104
00:03:54,805 --> 00:03:57,270
from that home store,
"Pots and Pans."

105
00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:59,721
We have been on the prowl
for some amazing pots.

106
00:03:59,754 --> 00:04:02,492
Well, that card's
for three pans.

107
00:04:02,524 --> 00:04:04,733
Either way, this is great.

108
00:04:04,750 --> 00:04:06,031
You know what?

109
00:04:06,064 --> 00:04:07,408
We should get
to the good-bye party,

110
00:04:07,410 --> 00:04:08,673
although I know
it's mostly for Ann.

111
00:04:08,690 --> 00:04:10,820
Yeah, but there's, like,
one corner for you

112
00:04:10,853 --> 00:04:12,437
and it's just carob cookies
and berries.

113
00:04:12,471 --> 00:04:13,911
Carob cookies and berries

114
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,361
are literally my favorite
dessert alternative.

115
00:04:16,378 --> 00:04:18,780
I'll go get changed.

116
00:04:18,829 --> 00:04:21,310
Man, he put a lot of work
into our presents.

117
00:04:21,343 --> 00:04:23,360
I feel kinda bad just
getting him a gift card.

118
00:04:23,394 --> 00:04:25,490
I also shook his hand.
Twice.

119
00:04:25,524 --> 00:04:27,188
Anything more than that
would be excessive.

120
00:04:27,221 --> 00:04:29,046
Let's all put our heads
together and brainstorm.

121
00:04:29,063 --> 00:04:30,728
We gotta send this dude off
with the perfect gift.

122
00:04:30,761 --> 00:04:32,569
I say we start
with the three "Cs,"

123
00:04:32,618 --> 00:04:34,844
cashmere, concert tickets,
caboodles of cash.

124
00:04:34,861 --> 00:04:37,118
I feel like those
are perfect gifts for you.

125
00:04:37,167 --> 00:04:38,656
Those are perfect gifts
for anyone.

126
00:04:38,688 --> 00:04:42,098
Ugh, I wish you guys were Donna!

127
00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:44,805
I'm 100% sure
that I will not meet

128
00:04:44,854 --> 00:04:46,519
another Donna Meagle
in Michigan.

129
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:47,801
I'm gonna miss you.

130
00:04:47,818 --> 00:04:49,339
You know, I'm gonna miss you
too, Perkins.

131
00:04:49,371 --> 00:04:51,036
But now that you're officially
out of the dating pool,

132
00:04:51,069 --> 00:04:53,086
you know I'm gonna
run this town, right?

133
00:04:53,119 --> 00:04:54,448
Ooh.

134
00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,427
Oh, yeah, you do not wanna
go down that road.

135
00:04:57,459 --> 00:04:58,436
Trust me, I tried.

136
00:04:58,468 --> 00:04:59,924
Hi, Stephen.

137
00:04:59,958 --> 00:05:00,885
Hey, Ann.

138
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:04,025
- Super cute baby bump.
- Thanks.

139
00:05:04,058 --> 00:05:06,059
Good looking out.

140
00:05:06,076 --> 00:05:08,766
Hey, Ron, have you seen April?

141
00:05:08,799 --> 00:05:10,799
I've been mostly focused
on these ribs.

142
00:05:10,817 --> 00:05:14,387
By the way, you're out of Easter
ham and Thanksgiving turkey.

143
00:05:14,420 --> 00:05:15,476
Great party.

144
00:05:17,271 --> 00:05:18,183
Hey.

145
00:05:18,216 --> 00:05:19,128
Are you on the lot?

146
00:05:19,161 --> 00:05:20,089
Is everything okay?

147
00:05:20,122 --> 00:05:21,482
Uh, not really.

148
00:05:21,516 --> 00:05:23,932
Public works put up a giant
padlock on the fence

149
00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:26,639
and a sign that says
"No trespassing."

150
00:05:26,673 --> 00:05:28,032
That probably
doesn't apply to us.

151
00:05:28,050 --> 00:05:30,675
There's also a sign that says
"Especially Leslie Knope."

152
00:05:30,709 --> 00:05:32,742
Well, Leslie Knope
is a very common name.

153
00:05:32,775 --> 00:05:34,952
There's a professor in
Copenhagen named Leslie Knope.

154
00:05:34,985 --> 00:05:36,666
They probably mean him.

155
00:05:36,715 --> 00:05:37,752
Do they mean the professor?

156
00:05:37,755 --> 00:05:40,637
Yeah,
there's a picture of you also.

157
00:05:40,671 --> 00:05:43,040
And two huge security guards.

158
00:05:43,073 --> 00:05:44,785
Holy mother of Malia!

159
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:46,035
And Sasha.

160
00:05:46,068 --> 00:05:47,396
I love them both equally.

161
00:05:47,445 --> 00:05:49,046
Okay, it's that stupid Harold
who's behind this.

162
00:05:49,079 --> 00:05:52,489
Get here and we will
make a plan.

163
00:05:52,522 --> 00:05:54,395
How long do I have to do this?

164
00:05:54,412 --> 00:05:55,964
Until I say so, Orin!

165
00:05:55,997 --> 00:05:57,994
Stay in character.

166
00:06:02,521 --> 00:06:04,700
Leslie can't watch anything
with Julie Andrews in it

167
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,227
before bedtime because
it gets her too hyper.

168
00:06:06,260 --> 00:06:07,140
Okay.

169
00:06:07,189 --> 00:06:08,982
If Chris gets cranky
around noon,

170
00:06:09,015 --> 00:06:10,696
just stuff some chia seeds
into a fig...

171
00:06:10,728 --> 00:06:11,833
works every time.

172
00:06:12,153 --> 00:06:13,593
Awesome, thank you.

173
00:06:13,627 --> 00:06:16,124
Wow, we really picked
some intense people

174
00:06:16,141 --> 00:06:18,110
- to spend our lives with, huh?
- Yeah.

175
00:06:18,142 --> 00:06:19,551
Where's Leslie?
I haven't seen her in a while.

176
00:06:19,568 --> 00:06:20,849
Oh, she's just running around

177
00:06:20,898 --> 00:06:22,995
trying to pull off an elaborate,
thoughtful surprise for you.

178
00:06:23,076 --> 00:06:24,516
- Of course.
- Where's Chris?

179
00:06:24,533 --> 00:06:26,775
I told him that One Headlight
By the Wallflowers

180
00:06:26,824 --> 00:06:31,019
isn't "dancing" music and he
said "Not with that attitude."

181
00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:34,238
Of course.

182
00:06:34,271 --> 00:06:37,729
Dude, Ann, you know
what I just remembered?

183
00:06:37,778 --> 00:06:39,219
We used to date.

184
00:06:39,252 --> 00:06:41,397
Yeah, we lived together
for two years.

185
00:06:41,430 --> 00:06:43,095
I know, it's crazy, right?

186
00:06:43,128 --> 00:06:44,585
Anyways, you're the best.

187
00:06:44,634 --> 00:06:47,964
Have fun in Mexico.

188
00:06:47,996 --> 00:06:49,389
Harold,
it is Leslie Knope again.

189
00:06:49,422 --> 00:06:50,478
I know you are
screening my calls,

190
00:06:50,512 --> 00:06:51,664
but if you could call me bac...

191
00:06:51,696 --> 00:06:53,009
And his voicemail is full.

192
00:06:53,042 --> 00:06:54,290
Did you have any luck?

193
00:06:54,339 --> 00:06:55,491
Flipped through the bylaws.

194
00:06:55,524 --> 00:06:56,452
I don't think
there's anything I can do.

195
00:06:56,469 --> 00:06:57,894
What is the point
of being married

196
00:06:57,927 --> 00:07:00,344
to a city manager if he can't
wield unfettered power

197
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:01,513
to crush my enemies?

198
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:02,522
Hopefully there are
a few other reasons.

199
00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:04,220
- Yeah.
- Looks like we hit a wall.

200
00:07:04,253 --> 00:07:06,142
Oh, God.

201
00:07:06,191 --> 00:07:07,727
April?
Are you okay?

202
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:08,640
What's happening?

203
00:07:08,673 --> 00:07:09,778
I'm just so scared

204
00:07:09,811 --> 00:07:13,157
that this means that Ann
won't really leave.

205
00:07:13,206 --> 00:07:15,607
Life, huh?

206
00:07:15,624 --> 00:07:17,802
It's quite a ride.

207
00:07:17,834 --> 00:07:20,588
Yes, Tom, it is.

208
00:07:20,621 --> 00:07:22,654
I got you a going-away
present.

209
00:07:22,672 --> 00:07:24,208
I'm deleting you from my phone.

210
00:07:24,241 --> 00:07:26,498
You're finally free
of my animal magnetism.

211
00:07:26,531 --> 00:07:28,804
Maybe one day years from now
when we're both old

212
00:07:28,838 --> 00:07:32,072
and Chris is dead,
you'll run into me somewhere.

213
00:07:32,105 --> 00:07:34,490
I'll be opening
my latest mega club.

214
00:07:34,523 --> 00:07:36,174
I'll see you there
on the street by yourself

215
00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:39,007
and I'll tell
the bouncer/my bodyguard,

216
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:42,338
"Hey, that woman's way too old
to get into this club,

217
00:07:42,387 --> 00:07:44,644
but why don't you
let her in the back?"

218
00:07:44,678 --> 00:07:46,518
That's very generous.

219
00:07:46,551 --> 00:07:47,767
Stay golden, sweetheart.

220
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,176
I'm gonna miss you too, Tom.

221
00:07:49,194 --> 00:07:50,602
Shh.

222
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,925
And you're kind
and you're thoughtful

223
00:07:52,958 --> 00:07:54,702
and you're always such a delight
to have around.

224
00:07:54,736 --> 00:07:58,002
I am sure you are going
to be an incredible mother.

225
00:07:58,051 --> 00:07:59,811
Thanks, Larry.
That's nice.

226
00:07:59,844 --> 00:08:01,429
Good-bye, Ann.

227
00:08:01,462 --> 00:08:04,697
I have enjoyed
parts of our time together.

228
00:08:04,729 --> 00:08:08,476
Oh, God, Ron.

229
00:08:10,383 --> 00:08:13,585
That was really something.

230
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,443
Okay, what do
we have for Chris?

231
00:08:15,476 --> 00:08:17,973
I got this City of Pawnee mug.

232
00:08:18,006 --> 00:08:19,591
Also, this cool jacket.

233
00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,481
No, I think
that's Chris's jacket.

234
00:08:21,514 --> 00:08:22,651
Okay, good,
then we know he likes it.

235
00:08:22,683 --> 00:08:24,060
Catch up, Larry.

236
00:08:24,092 --> 00:08:25,950
Okay, I found some old receipts

237
00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:27,551
from lunches we had together.

238
00:08:27,569 --> 00:08:28,481
Is that anything?

239
00:08:28,513 --> 00:08:29,857
This is my contribution.

240
00:08:29,891 --> 00:08:31,171
It says "Ron."

241
00:08:31,188 --> 00:08:32,436
Hey, guys, what's going on?

242
00:08:32,469 --> 00:08:34,918
Oh, we're just giving you
a bunch of cool gifts.

243
00:08:34,936 --> 00:08:35,848
No, God... oh... God.

244
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,786
Get your hopes up, Chris.

245
00:08:37,819 --> 00:08:38,875
Let's see what's in here.

246
00:08:38,924 --> 00:08:41,084
Some assorted items.

247
00:08:41,133 --> 00:08:43,471
And... some pieces of paper.

248
00:08:43,504 --> 00:08:45,153
Boom, nailed it.
All right.

249
00:08:45,186 --> 00:08:48,884
Now we can start
enjoying this party.

250
00:08:48,917 --> 00:08:51,832
Leslie, this is the most
incredible event

251
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,193
that has ever been thrown.

252
00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:55,563
There is a pilgrim line dancing
with a box of candies.

253
00:08:55,612 --> 00:08:57,950
Why do you look so bummed out?

254
00:08:57,982 --> 00:09:00,143
We were planning a surprise
groundbreaking

255
00:09:00,177 --> 00:09:01,329
at Pawnee commons for you.

256
00:09:01,362 --> 00:09:02,882
You know, an actual beginning

257
00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:04,340
to the project
that brought us together.

258
00:09:04,373 --> 00:09:06,790
But now we can't do it because
Harold is such a jerk face.

259
00:09:06,823 --> 00:09:08,392
He put a barbed wire fence
around the lot

260
00:09:08,424 --> 00:09:10,009
and now it's not happening.

261
00:09:10,058 --> 00:09:11,291
I'm sorry, Ann.

262
00:09:11,340 --> 00:09:13,645
First of all, don't apologize.

263
00:09:13,662 --> 00:09:15,664
And second of all, screw Harold.

264
00:09:15,696 --> 00:09:17,745
If I learned one thing
from Leslie Knope

265
00:09:17,779 --> 00:09:19,667
it is we do not take "No"
for an answer.

266
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:21,813
Anything is possible
if we work hard enough.

267
00:09:21,831 --> 00:09:23,031
- Let's do it.
- Oh, my God!

268
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,536
Ann Perkins to the rescue.

269
00:09:24,553 --> 00:09:25,834
Okay, hands in, everybody.

270
00:09:25,867 --> 00:09:26,954
One, two, three.

271
00:09:26,988 --> 00:09:27,915
- Groundbreaking!
- Let's go!

272
00:09:27,949 --> 00:09:29,228
Dark forces, arise!

273
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,621
Okay, I didn't plan
what we were all gonna say.

274
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,177
That's my bad.
Here we go, Ann. Let's go.

275
00:09:36,662 --> 00:09:37,910
Okay, now to ring the bell.

276
00:09:38,140 --> 00:09:39,420
Bust in unannounced.

277
00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:43,024
Love it!

278
00:09:43,057 --> 00:09:44,065
Harold.

279
00:09:44,098 --> 00:09:45,026
What the hell, Knope?

280
00:09:45,059 --> 00:09:46,067
We need the key to the fence

281
00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:47,428
that you put up
on the Sullivan Street lot.

282
00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:49,077
You snuck around
behind my back.

283
00:09:49,111 --> 00:09:51,128
I told you I didn't like that.
Forget it.

284
00:09:51,161 --> 00:09:52,650
Come on, Harold, look.

285
00:09:52,682 --> 00:09:54,651
This is a great opportunity
you have right now.

286
00:09:54,685 --> 00:09:56,669
Just think of us as your genies

287
00:09:56,703 --> 00:09:58,303
who can give you
anything you want.

288
00:09:58,336 --> 00:09:59,568
Nothing gross.

289
00:09:59,586 --> 00:10:02,964
Okay, yeah,
there is something I want.

290
00:10:02,996 --> 00:10:04,405
Super fizzy fruity pop.

291
00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:05,670
Sorry?

292
00:10:05,704 --> 00:10:08,473
Sweetums used to stock our
office with free sodas

293
00:10:08,522 --> 00:10:10,635
as a promotional thing,
but that Kathryn Pinewood lady

294
00:10:10,669 --> 00:10:12,092
just took 'em away.

295
00:10:12,141 --> 00:10:15,152
If you can get us our free sodas
back, I'll get you a key.

296
00:10:15,185 --> 00:10:17,233
- Deal.
- Easy.

297
00:10:17,251 --> 00:10:18,579
It is not easy.

298
00:10:18,613 --> 00:10:20,661
Kathryn Pinewood is the person
on earth who hates me the most.

299
00:10:20,694 --> 00:10:21,847
Well, luckily,
you're with the person on earth

300
00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:22,840
who loves you the most.

301
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,169
Too cheesy?
No, it's perfect.

302
00:10:24,218 --> 00:10:25,102
I love you.
Don't leave.

303
00:10:25,147 --> 00:10:26,459
Come on.

304
00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:28,477
Donna, you are
a remarkable woman,

305
00:10:28,509 --> 00:10:29,727
and I just wanted to say

306
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:31,184
that I've always
thought of you as family.

307
00:10:31,217 --> 00:10:33,394
I just wanna say that I've
always thought you were hot.

308
00:10:33,428 --> 00:10:34,596
Yes, I know.

309
00:10:34,628 --> 00:10:35,572
April...

310
00:10:35,606 --> 00:10:37,494
Yeah, you saw a lot of
potential in me,

311
00:10:37,543 --> 00:10:39,944
I'm like a daughter to you,
and it was a treat

312
00:10:39,961 --> 00:10:41,402
to watch me blossom.

313
00:10:41,435 --> 00:10:43,100
Blah blah blah, bye.

314
00:10:43,133 --> 00:10:46,351
That is remarkably close
to what I was going to say.

315
00:10:46,368 --> 00:10:50,099
Also, I'm proud of you.

316
00:10:53,047 --> 00:10:54,359
Donna,
are you grabbing my butt?

317
00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:55,272
Can you blame me?

318
00:10:55,305 --> 00:10:57,434
No!

319
00:10:57,452 --> 00:10:58,875
Sorry, can't help you ladies.

320
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,942
I don't have time for disgraced
former politicians

321
00:11:00,991 --> 00:11:01,999
and unmarried preggos.

322
00:11:02,032 --> 00:11:04,064
Oh, Kathryn, always a delight.

323
00:11:04,082 --> 00:11:05,298
Listen, I know
that you and Leslie

324
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,900
have had your disagreements
in the past,

325
00:11:06,932 --> 00:11:09,670
but we really need the key,
and we can only get the key

326
00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:10,936
if we get the sodas.
Please?

327
00:11:10,968 --> 00:11:12,426
I don't see why I should do
you any favors.

328
00:11:12,458 --> 00:11:15,676
I mean, if you were still
a city councilor, maybe.

329
00:11:15,725 --> 00:11:17,806
But I seem to remember
you were recalled.

330
00:11:17,824 --> 00:11:18,736
Is that right?

331
00:11:18,768 --> 00:11:20,305
- How dare yo...
- Okay, Leslie.

332
00:11:20,338 --> 00:11:22,532
Please.
It's not worth it.

333
00:11:22,564 --> 00:11:23,460
For you.

334
00:11:23,493 --> 00:11:24,981
For me, I don't care.

335
00:11:25,014 --> 00:11:26,551
What the hell?

336
00:11:26,585 --> 00:11:27,752
Yeah, Pinewood, that's right.

337
00:11:27,802 --> 00:11:29,594
I'm pregnant
and I have you in a headlock.

338
00:11:29,612 --> 00:11:31,468
And if you try to fight back,
I will sue you.

339
00:11:31,501 --> 00:11:33,822
Unless you tell us how to get
those sodas right now.

340
00:11:33,839 --> 00:11:35,760
Okay, fine.

341
00:11:35,809 --> 00:11:37,490
Sweetums
has been desperately trying

342
00:11:37,523 --> 00:11:39,268
to get a local
celebrity spokesman

343
00:11:39,301 --> 00:11:40,389
to endorse
their new sports drink.

344
00:11:40,422 --> 00:11:41,926
So if you can
make that happen somehow,

345
00:11:41,959 --> 00:11:44,586
they'll give you
whatever you want.

346
00:11:44,618 --> 00:11:46,443
Damn, Perkins.

347
00:11:46,476 --> 00:11:49,374
Okay, who does Sweetums want
as their spokesperson?

348
00:11:49,423 --> 00:11:51,953
They already tried to get me
to endorse that sports drink.

349
00:11:51,985 --> 00:11:52,914
I said "No."

350
00:11:52,931 --> 00:11:54,419
They want me dunking
on the label.

351
00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:55,748
When is this town gonna realize

352
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:57,846
that I'm more than a former
high school basketball star?

353
00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:01,146
I don't think this new sports
drink is even about basketball.

354
00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:02,907
It's called
"Sweetums dunktastic

355
00:12:02,941 --> 00:12:04,958
three-point B-ball blast"

356
00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:07,055
the slogan is
"It's all about basketball."

357
00:12:07,089 --> 00:12:09,362
I'm sorry, you're gonna
have to find yourself

358
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:12,373
some other famous pawneean.

359
00:12:13,864 --> 00:12:16,073
We know that you were already
approached by Sweetums

360
00:12:16,105 --> 00:12:18,331
and you said "No," but is there
any way you would reconsider?

361
00:12:18,364 --> 00:12:19,420
I'm sorry, Miss Knope.

362
00:12:19,453 --> 00:12:21,694
There is such a thing as
journalistic integrity,

363
00:12:21,727 --> 00:12:25,730
and it is something that I have
as a journalist with integrity.

364
00:12:25,764 --> 00:12:27,460
It's really important, Perd.

365
00:12:27,509 --> 00:12:29,478
Please?
Come on.

366
00:12:29,527 --> 00:12:30,647
For old time's sake.

367
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,057
Well, the story of that appeal

368
00:12:32,089 --> 00:12:33,578
is it was heartfelt.

369
00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:37,854
And in response to that appeal,
I respond: Okay.

370
00:12:39,457 --> 00:12:41,138
For old time's sake?

371
00:12:41,171 --> 00:12:43,556
Does that mea... no!

372
00:12:43,589 --> 00:12:46,119
- Ann, you tricky minx.
- Yep.

373
00:12:46,136 --> 00:12:48,137
- I went on a date with Perd.
- What?

374
00:12:48,154 --> 00:12:49,675
It was during that
"explore my freedom

375
00:12:49,707 --> 00:12:50,828
as a single woman" phase.

376
00:12:50,845 --> 00:12:53,102
- Wow.
- We just had a drink.

377
00:12:53,134 --> 00:12:55,824
And at the end he said,
"I am going to kiss you now

378
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,602
by putting my mouth
on your mouth."

379
00:12:57,651 --> 00:12:58,691
And then I ran away.

380
00:12:58,724 --> 00:13:00,421
It was absolutely
the right call.

381
00:13:00,454 --> 00:13:02,103
Well, we could
just tell him the truth

382
00:13:02,135 --> 00:13:04,313
that we feel bad that we didn't
get him anything nice.

383
00:13:04,330 --> 00:13:05,770
Tell the truth?

384
00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:07,132
That's hilarious.
No.

385
00:13:07,165 --> 00:13:08,701
We tell him
we had the perfect gift,

386
00:13:08,718 --> 00:13:10,239
but we were robbed at gunpoint.

387
00:13:10,272 --> 00:13:11,840
"Chris, he had a gun.

388
00:13:11,873 --> 00:13:13,282
He took all the gifts."

389
00:13:13,299 --> 00:13:15,380
Now Chris feels bad,
he's buying us gifts.

390
00:13:15,429 --> 00:13:17,430
Next thing you know,
Tommy's got a new watch.

391
00:13:17,479 --> 00:13:18,952
Again, I don't see the problem.

392
00:13:18,969 --> 00:13:21,818
I shook the man's hand.
Twice.

393
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:25,406
Guys, look what I got at
the president's day booth.

394
00:13:25,455 --> 00:13:29,186
Ask not what your country
can do for you.

395
00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,084
From Family Guy, right?

396
00:13:32,118 --> 00:13:34,167
Listen, Chris, we have
to tell you something.

397
00:13:34,184 --> 00:13:37,465
We feel bad because you got us
such thoughtful gifts

398
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:41,502
and we got you three pans
and a bag of nothing.

399
00:13:41,535 --> 00:13:44,033
Guys, I don't need
anything from you.

400
00:13:44,050 --> 00:13:45,955
My buddy boxes
are about the past,

401
00:13:45,987 --> 00:13:48,277
but let's focus on the future.

402
00:13:48,309 --> 00:13:50,311
Because we're always
gonna be friends.

403
00:13:50,344 --> 00:13:53,659
And just the fact that you feel
bad about your bag of nothing

404
00:13:53,691 --> 00:13:54,587
proves that.

405
00:13:54,636 --> 00:13:55,837
To the future.

406
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:56,798
- Hear, hear.
- To the future.

407
00:13:56,830 --> 00:13:58,126
- To the future.
- Cheers.

408
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,577
- I have an idea.
- Future.

409
00:14:02,836 --> 00:14:04,325
Don't you ladies ever knock?

410
00:14:04,358 --> 00:14:06,135
No.
Okay, so we got Perd Hapley

411
00:14:06,167 --> 00:14:07,223
to sign on with Sweetums,

412
00:14:07,257 --> 00:14:08,713
which means that
you get your sodas back,

413
00:14:08,746 --> 00:14:09,995
which means that we get our key.

414
00:14:10,028 --> 00:14:11,100
Okay? Everything's here
in writing.

415
00:14:11,132 --> 00:14:12,493
Now call off your guards.

416
00:14:14,336 --> 00:14:15,936
Okay.
Fine.

417
00:14:15,954 --> 00:14:17,954
You two are a couple of real
pains in the ass.

418
00:14:17,988 --> 00:14:19,204
You know that?

419
00:14:19,237 --> 00:14:21,126
Harold, your tiny brain
could not understand this,

420
00:14:21,159 --> 00:14:22,567
but that is the best compliment

421
00:14:22,584 --> 00:14:24,954
you could ever give the two
women standing in front of you.

422
00:14:24,986 --> 00:14:26,235
Bye, Harold.

423
00:14:26,284 --> 00:14:29,133
Victory at last.
Whoo!

424
00:14:29,167 --> 00:14:30,992
- All right.
- You're all set.

425
00:14:31,025 --> 00:14:32,177
Okay, I am gonna call

426
00:14:32,194 --> 00:14:34,547
the official ceremonial
ribbon cutting guy,

427
00:14:34,564 --> 00:14:35,764
'cause I think
we may have missed him.

428
00:14:37,575 --> 00:14:38,471
What are you doing?

429
00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:39,480
It's for the raccoons.

430
00:14:39,513 --> 00:14:40,713
You have to hiss really loud

431
00:14:40,762 --> 00:14:41,978
and stomp your feet
so they'll leave you alone.

432
00:14:42,012 --> 00:14:43,804
And if one comes close,
make yourself really large

433
00:14:43,821 --> 00:14:45,742
like a puffer fish.

434
00:14:45,775 --> 00:14:46,831
Pawnee raccoons.

435
00:14:46,865 --> 00:14:49,057
That is one thing
I will not miss.

436
00:14:49,091 --> 00:14:50,595
Well, Michigan has wolverines.

437
00:14:50,612 --> 00:14:52,693
Maybe they'll eat your toes.

438
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:55,752
So how long do you think
you'll stay in Pawnee for?

439
00:14:55,785 --> 00:14:56,713
I don't know.

440
00:14:56,746 --> 00:14:58,795
We like it here.

441
00:14:58,812 --> 00:15:01,454
I made Andy promise that someday
we'll move to Transylvania,

442
00:15:01,486 --> 00:15:03,568
but that probably won't happen
till we're, like, 100.

443
00:15:03,585 --> 00:15:05,875
Well, for what it's worth,

444
00:15:05,907 --> 00:15:08,437
I'm really happy
that you and Andy are married.

445
00:15:08,469 --> 00:15:09,365
Why?

446
00:15:09,382 --> 00:15:12,425
Why?
Because I love him

447
00:15:12,458 --> 00:15:14,267
and I love you.

448
00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:16,685
Why wouldn't I be happy?

449
00:15:16,718 --> 00:15:17,967
I love you too.

450
00:15:17,999 --> 00:15:19,408
What's that?

451
00:15:19,457 --> 00:15:21,506
I love you too.

452
00:15:21,539 --> 00:15:23,492
I-I couldn't... I couldn't
quite hear you.

453
00:15:23,509 --> 00:15:25,590
Please don't make me say it.
Please.

454
00:15:25,623 --> 00:15:28,457
My going-away present to you

455
00:15:28,474 --> 00:15:32,269
will be that I do not make you
audibly say that you love me.

456
00:15:32,301 --> 00:15:35,183
Thank you.

457
00:15:37,427 --> 00:15:39,796
- What's happening here?
- Okay, Leslie's coming back.

458
00:15:39,829 --> 00:15:41,634
- Get off me, wench!
- Did I miss a nice moment?

459
00:15:41,639 --> 00:15:42,599
- No.
- Yes, you did.

460
00:15:42,648 --> 00:15:44,249
Oh, good.

461
00:15:47,056 --> 00:15:48,794
Guys, what are you doing here?

462
00:15:48,909 --> 00:15:49,570
Come in.

463
00:15:49,572 --> 00:15:51,736
You caught me before
my first run of the day.

464
00:15:51,969 --> 00:15:53,617
I call it my "beat the sun" run.

465
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,456
It's a race between me
and the sun.

466
00:15:55,571 --> 00:15:58,230
Well, we got one more
gift for you.

467
00:15:58,232 --> 00:16:01,465
It's quarter-sawn zebra wood
adjoined by floating tenons

468
00:16:01,467 --> 00:16:03,499
to the black walnut
corner posts.

469
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:05,165
Finished with a wiping varnish

470
00:16:05,167 --> 00:16:07,263
that's a secret
Swanson family recipe.

471
00:16:07,265 --> 00:16:10,883
Handmade at my woodshop,
and you are correct.

472
00:16:10,885 --> 00:16:12,404
It is gorgeous.

473
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,838
You're starting a new life
with your new family,

474
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,649
so it's an empty buddy box

475
00:16:16,651 --> 00:16:18,890
to fill with memories
for your little buddy.

476
00:16:18,892 --> 00:16:20,812
Or... twizzlers.

477
00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:22,718
That's the beautiful thing
about a box.

478
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:26,290
We all burned
our initials in, see?

479
00:16:26,292 --> 00:16:30,021
Wait a minute,
who's G-J-L-G-G?

480
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:31,864
That's Garry Jerry Larry
Gergich Gengurch.

481
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,978
I burned in all my names.

482
00:16:33,980 --> 00:16:35,147
I really... I didn't
know what to do.

483
00:16:35,149 --> 00:16:37,501
Well, um...

484
00:16:37,503 --> 00:16:39,583
Thank you.

485
00:16:39,585 --> 00:16:42,898
Um, this tear, um,

486
00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:47,223
caused by the overwhelming
thoughtfulness of my friends

487
00:16:47,225 --> 00:16:49,962
will be my baby's first memory.

488
00:16:49,964 --> 00:16:52,684
Salt water will warp the wood.

489
00:16:52,686 --> 00:16:56,768
So keep your tears in your eyes
where they belong.

490
00:16:56,770 --> 00:16:58,210
Will do, Ron Swanson.

491
00:16:58,212 --> 00:17:00,596
Can I still call you

492
00:17:00,598 --> 00:17:02,694
when I have thoughts
on Jennifer Aniston's future?

493
00:17:02,696 --> 00:17:04,199
Not if I call you first.

494
00:17:04,201 --> 00:17:05,177
And can we still
be on the phone

495
00:17:05,179 --> 00:17:07,130
for every state
of the Union address

496
00:17:07,132 --> 00:17:09,453
and every Oscar
red carpet coverage

497
00:17:09,455 --> 00:17:11,903
and every single viewing
of Tootsie?

498
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:13,104
Of course.

499
00:17:13,106 --> 00:17:15,620
Oh, Ann Perkins.

500
00:17:15,621 --> 00:17:18,230
You perfect sunflower.

501
00:17:18,232 --> 00:17:20,632
You totally changed me,
you know?

502
00:17:20,634 --> 00:17:22,955
You taught me
how to balance my life,

503
00:17:22,957 --> 00:17:26,109
- how to be patient.
- Mm...

504
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:27,791
- How to be more patient.
- Yeah, that's better.

505
00:17:27,793 --> 00:17:30,145
How to throw bureaucratic
caution to the wind

506
00:17:30,147 --> 00:17:31,763
when it came to Ben.

507
00:17:31,765 --> 00:17:34,438
But most importantly,
you taught me

508
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,648
that I can't pull off
a tulip skirt.

509
00:17:36,650 --> 00:17:38,602
It's just not your shape.

510
00:17:42,287 --> 00:17:45,569
Well, I don't think this
ceremonial ribbon cutting guy

511
00:17:45,571 --> 00:17:46,530
is gonna make it.

512
00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:48,452
Either he flaked or he tripped

513
00:17:48,453 --> 00:17:50,902
and impaled himself
on his own giant scissors.

514
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,584
We wait for no man.

515
00:17:52,586 --> 00:17:53,865
Let's do this.

516
00:17:53,867 --> 00:17:56,508
One, two, three!

517
00:18:01,427 --> 00:18:02,995
All right, I got my park.

518
00:18:02,996 --> 00:18:04,068
That's all I wanted from you.

519
00:18:04,070 --> 00:18:05,029
Friendship over.

520
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:08,680
Don't even
joke about that, Ann.

521
00:18:11,996 --> 00:18:14,238
It was your idea
to get me that box.

522
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,240
Ah, it was a group effort.

523
00:18:16,242 --> 00:18:17,841
But it had that trademark

524
00:18:17,843 --> 00:18:21,205
Ben Wyatt mix of thoughtful
and resourceful.

525
00:18:21,207 --> 00:18:25,560
You are literally the best
friend that I will ever have.

526
00:18:27,051 --> 00:18:30,462
You too, man.

527
00:18:34,659 --> 00:18:35,828
Leslie Knope.

528
00:18:35,829 --> 00:18:37,268
Chris Traeger.

529
00:18:37,270 --> 00:18:39,223
I just wanna say
that getting to know you

530
00:18:39,225 --> 00:18:41,193
and watching you work

531
00:18:41,195 --> 00:18:44,300
has been one of the greatest
experiences

532
00:18:44,301 --> 00:18:47,230
of my life... that and working
with Dr. Richard Nygard.

533
00:18:47,232 --> 00:18:49,633
Sure, and I just
want you to know

534
00:18:49,635 --> 00:18:52,004
that I thought
there was no man on earth

535
00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:54,357
good enough for Ann Perkins.

536
00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:56,120
- And I still think that.
- Right.

537
00:18:56,122 --> 00:18:59,194
But if there is no one
actually good enough for her,

538
00:18:59,196 --> 00:19:03,054
you are pretty damn close.

539
00:19:10,503 --> 00:19:12,968
Okay, well, this is normal.

540
00:19:12,970 --> 00:19:13,929
No big deal.

541
00:19:13,931 --> 00:19:15,788
- Drive safe.
- We will.

542
00:19:15,789 --> 00:19:17,420
I packed you some sandwiches

543
00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:19,631
and some caffeine free iced tea.

544
00:19:19,633 --> 00:19:21,777
So... oh, and there's a mix CD
that I made

545
00:19:21,779 --> 00:19:23,667
already loaded in your car.

546
00:19:23,669 --> 00:19:25,140
There's a lot of
Sarah McLanahan,

547
00:19:25,142 --> 00:19:26,550
so, Chris, I apologize.

548
00:19:26,552 --> 00:19:28,472
Things are gonna get emotional.

549
00:19:31,228 --> 00:19:32,956
I love you.

550
00:19:32,958 --> 00:19:36,832
I love you too.

551
00:19:48,076 --> 00:19:51,695
Breakfast, Knope?

552
00:19:51,697 --> 00:19:54,481
Oh, I don't know.

553
00:19:54,483 --> 00:19:55,700
Come on.

554
00:19:55,701 --> 00:19:57,685
There has never been a sadness

555
00:19:57,687 --> 00:19:59,783
that can't be cured
by breakfast food.

556
00:19:59,785 --> 00:20:01,545
That's fair.

557
00:20:01,547 --> 00:20:03,740
Someone else is gonna
have to drive though.

558
00:20:03,741 --> 00:20:05,372
My eyes are basically
useless right now.

559
00:20:05,374 --> 00:20:06,590
I'm on it.

560
00:20:06,592 --> 00:20:07,999
Shotgun!
I called shotgun!

561
00:20:08,001 --> 00:20:09,713
- You're all nailed.
- I call sitting on your lap.

562
00:20:09,715 --> 00:20:11,042
You can't... I... double shotgun!

563
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:12,243
We call double shotgun!

564
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:13,508
How come people
don't do that more often?

565
00:20:13,510 --> 00:20:14,630
It's illegal.

566
00:20:14,632 --> 00:20:16,199
Raise you hand
if you want waffles.

567
00:20:16,201 --> 00:20:17,400
I'm eating waffles.

568
00:20:17,402 --> 00:20:19,322
Bacon and eggs,
please and thank you.

569
00:20:22,584 --> 00:20:28,960
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com