1
00:00:02,474 --> 00:00:05,386
Aw, babe, you've gone crazy.

2
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:06,906
The only thing I am crazy about

3
00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:10,510
is a magnificent, pregnant
manta ray named Ann Perkins.

4
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:12,278
I am ranking
topics of conversation

5
00:00:12,313 --> 00:00:13,513
for our next phone call.

6
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,081
The worst part
about your best friend

7
00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:17,684
living in another stupid state
is the topics really pile up.

8
00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:19,686
What do you think
should be higher priority?

9
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,121
Infinity scarves

10
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,856
or whether or not it's worth it
for me to get Showtime?

11
00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:24,657
Is this really necessary?

12
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,292
When she moved,
we promised each other

13
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,628
that we would talk every day,
and we've really fallen behind.

14
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:30,830
I know your female friends
are very important to you,

15
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:33,299
but I'm always
a good sounding board.

16
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:37,837
I mean, I can talk about
Sandra Bullock skirt length.

17
00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:39,906
No, no, babe, you can't... you
would just embarrass yourself.

18
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,574
Plus, every time
I start talking to you,

19
00:00:41,609 --> 00:00:43,410
five seconds later,
I want to jump your bones.

20
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:44,811
Oh, let's do that instead.

21
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:48,782
See, that's what
I'm talking about.

22
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,049
- Yeah, okay, let's do this. Okay.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

23
00:00:53,087 --> 00:01:01,094
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

24
00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:12,072
On to the unity concert.

25
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:15,842
Ben is meeting with the tent
people to finalize those deals.

26
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:17,744
April and Donna
will be helping me

27
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:19,079
with the vendor location charts,
and I will be meeting

28
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,381
with the surveyors
about the concert grounds.

29
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:24,517
I would like to volunteer
to do the park survey myself.

30
00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:25,518
Wow, Ron.

31
00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:27,287
I always knew there would be

32
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:28,788
a day when I would
get through to you

33
00:01:28,823 --> 00:01:31,057
and you would love
government work.

34
00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:32,625
Today is that historic day.

35
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:35,862
Yes.
That is what has happened.

36
00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:39,566
Spending the day outside alone
sounds like a dream.

37
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,236
I love being a father, but there
are a few things I miss.

38
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:46,506
Silence, the absence of noise,

39
00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:49,409
one single moment
undisturbed by the sounds

40
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:53,780
of a children's TV program
called Doc McStuffins.

41
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:56,483
There is no quiet anymore.

42
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:59,753
There is only Doc McStuffins.

43
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:01,121
Sorry I'm late.

44
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:03,356
Uh, Andy, why don't you go
with Ron and help him?

45
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:04,924
- I really don't need...
- Shotgun!

46
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:07,594
I call shotgun. Where are we
going? Doesn't matter. Shotgun.

47
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:08,895
Shotgun on all rides
for the rest of the day.

48
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:12,332
For the rest of my life.
In any car! Ha ha!

49
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:14,100
I just faced you suckers!

50
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:16,569
So I'll see you
in the parking lot, Ron. Later!

51
00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:19,072
Is the tent guy
left-handed or right-handed?

52
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:20,540
I just need to know
which way to part my hair

53
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,242
to get us a better price.

54
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:23,777
It's a business theory
I'm working on.

55
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:24,778
I really don't
think it matters.

56
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,079
Pretty straightforward deal.

57
00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:27,781
A straightforward deal?
Why didn't you tell me?

58
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:29,775
I don't have my straightforward
deal fedora on me.

59
00:02:29,784 --> 00:02:30,984
We gotta stop by my storage unit
on the way up.

60
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:32,385
Hey, Larry.

61
00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:35,155
Hey, you wanna come with us
to tent world? Little road trip?

62
00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:36,156
Tent world?

63
00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:38,591
Yeah, let me grab my lunch.

64
00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,360
No. Why'd you invite Larry?

65
00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:41,861
He's been doing
all the paperwork for this deal.

66
00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:43,296
He deserves to come.

67
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:46,199
Remember you said that
when Larry's farting up the car.

68
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:48,134
Larry isn't that bad.
He's nice.

69
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,537
And frankly, I don't care
who knows that I said that,

70
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:53,973
as long as no one knows
that I said that.

71
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:57,677
Okay, ladies, I will be in my
office for one to seven hours

72
00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,380
for my weekly chat with Ann.
I brought some fresh snacks.

73
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:03,450
And I made a backup plan
for the vendor chart

74
00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:05,452
in case, you know,
yours isn't good.

75
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:06,820
Actually, Ann called
while you were in the bathroom.

76
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,814
She said something came up,
she'll call you later.

77
00:03:08,823 --> 00:03:10,023
I don't know, I told her
to leave you a voice mail.

78
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,858
Ugh! God, why'd you
let me say all that?

79
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:14,060
I'm coming, Ann's voice mail!
I'm coming!

80
00:03:14,095 --> 00:03:17,897
Listen to me very carefully.
I have not been taken.

81
00:03:17,932 --> 00:03:20,333
I know that's always your first
fear when I'm not available,

82
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,902
but this is not
a Liam Neeson Taken scenario.

83
00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:24,904
That's exactly
what they'd make you say.

84
00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:26,873
Also, no one's
making me say this.

85
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:29,542
I am a free woman, untaken,
simply going about my business.

86
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:31,978
I just have to run.
Something came up.

87
00:03:32,013 --> 00:03:33,580
I love you,
and I'll call you later.

88
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:36,082
Donna.

89
00:03:36,117 --> 00:03:37,083
What's good, baby?

90
00:03:37,118 --> 00:03:39,052
What's going down in Donna town?

91
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:41,688
What's the haps
in Meagle-wood?

92
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,389
I'm listening
to Jaleel Or No Deal.

93
00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:45,625
It's a podcast where
the kid who played Urkel

94
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,260
reviews old
Deal Or No Deal episodes.

95
00:03:47,294 --> 00:03:48,395
It's pointless, and I love it.

96
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:49,696
Okay, don't let me interrupt.

97
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,731
April, what's the 411,
little mama?

98
00:03:51,766 --> 00:03:53,933
What's the hot goss?
Who you crushing on these days?

99
00:03:53,968 --> 00:03:55,902
Ew, my husband, weirdo.

100
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:57,771
Can I get back to work now?
Thanks. Bye.

101
00:03:57,805 --> 00:04:00,640
Work? You can work whenever.

102
00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:04,244
Except for now,
because now is lady time.

103
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:05,912
You sound like
a tampon commercial.

104
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:08,381
I'm setting up
an impromptu Galentine's day.

105
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:09,950
- Really?
- Yeah.

106
00:04:09,984 --> 00:04:12,185
Wait, I thought you weren't
gonna do Galentine's day

107
00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:14,554
this year because
that she-beast moved away.

108
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,623
I believe her name was Satan?

109
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,792
Her name is Ann,
and she is gone,

110
00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:21,327
and I have accepted it, and we
are gonna have Galentine's day.

111
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,362
Ladies, up front.

112
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:24,764
I need an Ann
who lives in Pawnee,

113
00:04:24,799 --> 00:04:27,033
and there is no
one obvious candidate,

114
00:04:27,068 --> 00:04:30,470
so I will test them out
on the ultimate battlefield

115
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:33,707
of female friendship...
Galentine's day brunch.

116
00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:36,643
It will be a women's-only
marathon bonding session

117
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,311
with tons of whipped cream.

118
00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,947
Side note,
do not Google that phrase.

119
00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:45,485
Hey, Ron.

120
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,487
Can I ask you
kind of an important question?

121
00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:50,056
You know, like,
when you go to the ATM

122
00:04:50,091 --> 00:04:53,159
and you get money,
is there an actual guy

123
00:04:53,194 --> 00:04:55,795
standing behind the wall who
slides dollar bills in there?

124
00:04:55,830 --> 00:04:57,797
- No.
- Yeah.

125
00:04:57,832 --> 00:04:59,232
It's robots.

126
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:01,501
Oh, actually, you know what?
I do have a serious question.

127
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:02,836
In the movie Predator,

128
00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:06,206
can you rub any kind
of mud on yourself

129
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,341
to prevent predator
from seeing you

130
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,676
with his thermal
heat signature sight,

131
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,010
or is it more...

132
00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:12,746
Ow!
That sucks.

133
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,147
Are you hurt?

134
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:18,284
No. All good. All good.

135
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:22,055
Oops. Except for my mouth.

136
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:25,525
Oh, whoa.
Five-second rule.

137
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:26,793
No, ahh.

138
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:31,164
Come on, we better
get you to a dentist.

139
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:34,868
Oh, my God, Larry. Your tuna
fish sandwich stunk up my suit.

140
00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:36,569
- Gayle made it for me.
- Irrelevant.

141
00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:38,972
You know what? Stay out here and
double-check these deal memos.

142
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,473
If you get through 'em,
triple-check 'em.

143
00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:42,208
Just don't come inside.

144
00:05:42,243 --> 00:05:45,345
Sounds good. I will finish
my sandwich and enjoy the view.

145
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:48,715
Hey, Harvey.

146
00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:50,583
Ben Wyatt.
We spoke on the phone.

147
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:53,219
Yeah. Yeah, we sure did. Okay.

148
00:05:53,254 --> 00:05:54,354
Who's this little genie
right here?

149
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,189
Tom Haverford,
Pawnee business liaison.

150
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,757
Okay.

151
00:05:57,792 --> 00:06:00,160
Got your contracts
for you right here.

152
00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:03,663
Wow. It's a lot thicker than
the original one-page version.

153
00:06:03,698 --> 00:06:06,099
I take tents pretty seriously,
Ben, I'm a tent guy.

154
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:09,636
I got over 1,300 tents
in this warehouse alone.

155
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:12,005
900 of those are
over 2,000 square feet,

156
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,506
80 of 'em are striped,

157
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:17,077
and exactly 4 of 'em were
once rented by Miss Rene Russo.

158
00:06:17,111 --> 00:06:19,012
- Whoa!
- Yeah. No doy.

159
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,414
I think I know what I'm doing.

160
00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:23,850
So I added a few syllables
and whatnot.

161
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,553
Clauses, et cetera.
Addendums, what have you.

162
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,021
Why don't we go ahead
and sign that for me?

163
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:31,524
Yeah, I think we're gonna
need to take a look at this.

164
00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:35,628
Hmm. So I guess this is not
a straightforward deal.

165
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,533
Shauna, I'm so glad
you could make it.

166
00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:41,935
You're so tan.

167
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:45,038
Oh, thanks. I just got back
from a solo trip to Rome.

168
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,474
I was gonna go with my
boyfriend, but he couldn't come

169
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:50,043
because he decided
to stay with his wife.

170
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,378
Oof.

171
00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:54,214
I love Rome.
It's such a great place.

172
00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:57,050
Rome's played out.
Have y'all been to Kuala Lumpur?

173
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,586
- When did you go to Asia?
- I go all the time.

174
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,087
Where do you think I got

175
00:07:01,122 --> 00:07:02,255
that crystal Buddha head
above my jacuzzi?

176
00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:04,658
You have a jacuzzi?
Good to know.

177
00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:06,132
Prospects
for new Pawnee best friend.

178
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:09,062
Donna Meagle. Confident,
worldly, we go way back.

179
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:12,399
April Ludgate. Vivid
imagination, young, and vibrant.

180
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:13,633
Shauna Malwae-Tweep.

181
00:07:13,668 --> 00:07:15,435
Pretty, fragile,
makes terrible life decisions.

182
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:17,170
A real fixer-upper, but look,

183
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:18,972
it's not like Ann was doing
so hot when I met her.

184
00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:21,241
Ethel Beavers.
Bit of a dark horse.

185
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,509
Crotchety, but probably wise.

186
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:25,678
And then we got Evelyn,
aka fake Ann.

187
00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:28,782
I don't know her last name.
Honestly we just needed bodies.

188
00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:30,817
Thank you, everyone, for getting
together on such short notice,

189
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:33,453
and happy Galentine's day.

190
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,255
Now, this is not technically
the right date,

191
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:38,591
but any time a group of women
get together for brunch,

192
00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:40,694
we embody the spirit
of the holiday.

193
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,195
Today we will
celebrate friendship,

194
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:43,963
spend a few hours together,

195
00:07:43,998 --> 00:07:46,199
and answer a couple
of questions I've compiled.

196
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,034
Just for fun.
Nothing serious.

197
00:07:48,069 --> 00:07:49,970
But please answer them
with complete honesty

198
00:07:50,004 --> 00:07:51,337
'cause I'll be able
to tell if you're lying.

199
00:07:51,372 --> 00:07:52,706
- To girlfriends!
- Yay.

200
00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:54,542
- Girlfriends.
- Whoo-hoo!

201
00:07:55,606 --> 00:07:58,791
Okay, it's time for
a little Galentine's day Q&A.

202
00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:00,276
Donna, you pick first.

203
00:08:00,984 --> 00:08:04,052
"What is
your favorite TV show?"

204
00:08:04,621 --> 00:08:06,622
Well, for live tweeting,
it's Scandal.

205
00:08:06,656 --> 00:08:09,558
For binge watching,
it's Scandal.

206
00:08:09,592 --> 00:08:12,161
But for fashion,
it's actually Scandal.

207
00:08:12,195 --> 00:08:13,228
My answer is Scandal.

208
00:08:13,263 --> 00:08:14,430
Hmm. April?

209
00:08:14,464 --> 00:08:16,265
Ooh, I love watching

210
00:08:16,299 --> 00:08:19,068
Russian traffic accidents
on YouTube

211
00:08:19,102 --> 00:08:21,601
while I play children's music
at the wrong RPM.

212
00:08:21,721 --> 00:08:23,138
I like beauty pageants.

213
00:08:23,173 --> 00:08:25,841
Everyone is so happy
and perfect.

214
00:08:25,875 --> 00:08:30,245
I like Diagnosis Murder.
And skin flicks.

215
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,356
Can anybody top me off?

216
00:08:32,476 --> 00:08:34,784
The correct answer
for favorite TV show

217
00:08:34,904 --> 00:08:36,685
is Friday Night Lights.

218
00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:38,988
- The correct answer?
- Next question.

219
00:08:39,022 --> 00:08:41,290
Okay, this contract is insane.

220
00:08:41,324 --> 00:08:44,860
It costs extra to have people
inside the tents?

221
00:08:44,894 --> 00:08:46,762
And what's a flap tax?

222
00:08:46,796 --> 00:08:48,163
Well, you need flaps, bro.

223
00:08:48,198 --> 00:08:50,099
A tent without flaps
is basically a parachute.

224
00:08:50,133 --> 00:08:51,900
An unfolding charge?

225
00:08:51,935 --> 00:08:54,169
A noise damage waiver?
How can noise damage tents?

226
00:08:54,204 --> 00:08:56,839
Shh. Keep your voice down,
please, there's tents here.

227
00:08:56,873 --> 00:09:00,175
Now, look, you can argue
with me all you want,

228
00:09:00,210 --> 00:09:02,878
but for every line item that
you two idiots disagree with,

229
00:09:02,912 --> 00:09:05,314
there's gonna be
a $50 discussion surcharge.

230
00:09:05,348 --> 00:09:06,315
What are we up to, doll?

231
00:09:06,349 --> 00:09:07,549
$400.

232
00:09:07,584 --> 00:09:09,718
A discussion surcharge?
That's nuts.

233
00:09:09,753 --> 00:09:11,320
$450.

234
00:09:11,354 --> 00:09:12,354
That's it. Deal's off.

235
00:09:12,389 --> 00:09:13,856
We'll take our business
elsewhere.

236
00:09:13,890 --> 00:09:16,492
Suit yourself, gentlemen.
Sorry we couldn't make a deal.

237
00:09:18,361 --> 00:09:22,564
Wait, wait.
Let me try one more thing.

238
00:09:22,599 --> 00:09:24,233
What's the price now?

239
00:09:24,267 --> 00:09:28,671
$80 more.
I liked it better the other way.

240
00:09:28,705 --> 00:09:31,740
Does have an effect, though.

241
00:09:31,775 --> 00:09:33,175
The receptionist says
she'll fit you in

242
00:09:33,209 --> 00:09:34,843
as soon as there's an opening.

243
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:37,313
If you're all right,
I'm gonna head back to the park.

244
00:09:37,347 --> 00:09:39,081
Wait, wait, wait,
real quick, real quick.

245
00:09:39,115 --> 00:09:41,583
Do you know what
my social security number is?

246
00:09:41,618 --> 00:09:44,186
Or if I'm allergic to anything?

247
00:09:44,220 --> 00:09:46,255
I don't like corn.
Should I put that down?

248
00:09:46,289 --> 00:09:50,926
Or will that be confusing?
Because I do like candy corn.

249
00:09:50,961 --> 00:09:53,996
Oh, Ron. What a mess.

250
00:09:56,132 --> 00:09:57,733
Here, let me help you.

251
00:09:57,767 --> 00:09:59,768
All I wanted was two hours

252
00:09:59,803 --> 00:10:02,371
where I got to forget
that I was a parent.

253
00:10:02,405 --> 00:10:06,375
Ron, look.
I found all three differences.

254
00:10:06,409 --> 00:10:08,811
Those are two
completely different pictures.

255
00:10:10,580 --> 00:10:12,715
- "Ladies' choice."
- Ooh! Wild card option.

256
00:10:12,749 --> 00:10:13,716
Okay, anybody reveal anything
about their life,

257
00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:14,917
anything at all.

258
00:10:14,951 --> 00:10:17,386
I've gotten two annulments.

259
00:10:17,420 --> 00:10:19,088
One for pleasure, and one

260
00:10:19,122 --> 00:10:22,458
to cap off a long con I was
running against Keith Sweat.

261
00:10:22,492 --> 00:10:23,459
Wow. Ethel, have you...

262
00:10:23,493 --> 00:10:25,461
Okay, Ethel's asleep.
Shauna?

263
00:10:25,495 --> 00:10:28,163
I'm writing a memoir
based on my blog.

264
00:10:28,198 --> 00:10:29,798
It's called
Tweeping Up Appearances,

265
00:10:29,833 --> 00:10:32,401
and it's about my journey
to find happiness

266
00:10:32,435 --> 00:10:34,269
by smiling through the pain.

267
00:10:34,304 --> 00:10:35,771
Okay, I can work with that.

268
00:10:35,805 --> 00:10:38,574
Knope, what you got
going on in that notebook?

269
00:10:38,608 --> 00:10:41,644
Just jotting down memories
in my trusty old journal.

270
00:10:41,678 --> 00:10:44,647
"Friendship rankings."
What's that?

271
00:10:44,681 --> 00:10:45,948
It's not what it sounds like.

272
00:10:45,982 --> 00:10:47,316
It's simply a way
for me to figure out

273
00:10:47,350 --> 00:10:49,918
which one of you is the best.

274
00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:51,120
That's messed up.

275
00:10:51,154 --> 00:10:53,789
Yeah, that is really lame,
and I'm leaving.

276
00:10:53,823 --> 00:10:55,157
You're better than that, Knope.

277
00:10:55,191 --> 00:10:57,393
Donna, why are you angry?
You were in first place.

278
00:10:57,427 --> 00:11:01,897
Bye, everyone.
This was a really...

279
00:11:01,931 --> 00:11:03,932
brunch.
Leave the bag.

280
00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:08,103
If you do this
again next year, don't call me.

281
00:11:09,272 --> 00:11:11,140
Well, by default, it's Shauna.

282
00:11:11,174 --> 00:11:13,575
That's how you want to find
your new best friend, right?

283
00:11:13,610 --> 00:11:16,278
By default?

284
00:11:16,313 --> 00:11:19,315
My pores are clogged up from
being in that dusty warehouse.

285
00:11:19,349 --> 00:11:22,918
I'm gonna check if this gas
station has some biore strips.

286
00:11:22,953 --> 00:11:25,588
Aw, thanks, Larry,
that's nice of you.

287
00:11:25,622 --> 00:11:27,189
Gayle always has me
do the windshield.

288
00:11:27,223 --> 00:11:29,258
She likes to stand
behind me and watch.

289
00:11:29,292 --> 00:11:32,695
According to her,
it's the best view.

290
00:11:32,729 --> 00:11:36,265
- How is Gayle?
- Oh, wonderful.

291
00:11:36,299 --> 00:11:39,768
- And the girls?
- They're good.

292
00:11:39,803 --> 00:11:42,371
- Why do you want to know?
- I'm genuinely interested.

293
00:11:42,405 --> 00:11:43,839
I'm sorry.

294
00:11:43,873 --> 00:11:47,509
I'm just not used to people from
the office asking me things.

295
00:11:47,544 --> 00:11:50,112
It's kind of scary.
But in a good way, though.

296
00:11:51,681 --> 00:11:54,383
Aw, man,
did I miss a Larry fart?

297
00:11:54,417 --> 00:11:56,018
Oh, no, uh, we were just...

298
00:11:56,052 --> 00:11:58,887
Yeah, Tom.
Yeah, I-I really ripped one.

299
00:11:58,922 --> 00:12:01,957
Didn't I, Ben?

300
00:12:01,992 --> 00:12:04,460
Yeah.
Yeah, it was loud.

301
00:12:04,494 --> 00:12:07,129
Smells like a hippopotamus
took a dump on a skunk.

302
00:12:08,231 --> 00:12:11,634
It's in your best interest.

303
00:12:11,668 --> 00:12:16,572
Well, the numbers don't lie.
I'm a goofus, not a gallant.

304
00:12:18,742 --> 00:12:21,076
Been here forever.
Can we go?

305
00:12:21,111 --> 00:12:23,512
Don't you want
to get your tooth fixed?

306
00:12:23,546 --> 00:12:26,582
I don't know, I think my tooth
looks fine just like this.

307
00:12:26,616 --> 00:12:29,218
Well, my grandmother
was missing that tooth,

308
00:12:29,252 --> 00:12:34,056
and she was the most beautiful
woman on her oil rig.

309
00:12:34,090 --> 00:12:37,192
You are an adult.
I am not your dad.

310
00:12:37,227 --> 00:12:41,063
- If you want to go, we can go.
- Yay. Thanks, Ron.

311
00:12:41,097 --> 00:12:43,832
That's why you know even though
you're not my dad,

312
00:12:43,867 --> 00:12:45,567
you're like
an old brother to me.

313
00:12:45,602 --> 00:12:50,105
Like a cool uncle, but old.
Like a grandpa.

314
00:12:50,140 --> 00:12:52,541
But cool like a son.

315
00:12:55,661 --> 00:12:57,022
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.

316
00:12:57,047 --> 00:12:58,013
No problem.

317
00:12:58,048 --> 00:12:59,415
That'll be $8, please.

318
00:12:59,449 --> 00:13:01,383
What, you're charging us
for coffee?

319
00:13:01,418 --> 00:13:03,585
What kind of a business...
uh-oh.

320
00:13:03,620 --> 00:13:04,787
Oh, hello, gentlemen.

321
00:13:04,821 --> 00:13:07,523
Gotta be kidding me.
You own this place too?

322
00:13:07,557 --> 00:13:09,725
That's right, dickweed.
You wanna talk deal?

323
00:13:09,759 --> 00:13:11,226
Because my prices have gone up

324
00:13:11,261 --> 00:13:13,862
ever so slightly
since I saw you last.

325
00:13:13,897 --> 00:13:15,397
No, we're not giving in
to your crazy demands.

326
00:13:15,432 --> 00:13:17,233
There are plenty of other
tent rental places

327
00:13:17,267 --> 00:13:18,701
within driving distance.

328
00:13:18,735 --> 00:13:20,569
Yeah, I'm calling
Tent Emporium right now.

329
00:13:20,603 --> 00:13:22,104
Tent Emporium.

330
00:13:22,138 --> 00:13:23,572
How can I help you, buttface?

331
00:13:23,607 --> 00:13:25,140
- What?
- Come on.

332
00:13:25,175 --> 00:13:26,742
Yes.

333
00:13:26,776 --> 00:13:28,544
I own every tent store
in Southern Indiana.

334
00:13:28,578 --> 00:13:31,146
Tent Town, Rent Ten Tents,
the Tent Offensive,

335
00:13:31,181 --> 00:13:33,382
and Ace Tentura Tent Detective.

336
00:13:33,416 --> 00:13:35,017
I also own a chick-fil-a
franchise,

337
00:13:35,051 --> 00:13:36,819
but that's not doing
so hot right now. Whatever.

338
00:13:36,853 --> 00:13:39,221
Let's get outta here.

339
00:13:39,255 --> 00:13:42,791
You've reached the Tentagon.
How can I help you, buttface?

340
00:13:42,826 --> 00:13:44,827
Okay, here's an idea.
Why don't we find something,

341
00:13:44,861 --> 00:13:47,963
anything, no matter how small,
that we have in common?

342
00:13:47,998 --> 00:13:49,665
For example, I'm an only child.

343
00:13:49,699 --> 00:13:50,666
Me too.

344
00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:52,167
Although, when I was in college

345
00:13:52,202 --> 00:13:54,403
I found out that my dad
had a second family.

346
00:13:54,437 --> 00:13:57,306
Well, we were the second family,
technically.

347
00:13:57,340 --> 00:13:59,241
Okay, well,
we both went to college.

348
00:13:59,276 --> 00:14:00,576
- There's that.
- Yeah.

349
00:14:00,610 --> 00:14:02,711
Oh, my God!

350
00:14:02,746 --> 00:14:04,780
Ann had her baby!
Wow, this has been fun.

351
00:14:04,814 --> 00:14:06,248
The bill is already paid.

352
00:14:06,283 --> 00:14:09,785
May I gently suggest that you
check out Chris Traeger's

353
00:14:09,819 --> 00:14:12,421
wonderful therapist
Dr. Richard Nygard.

354
00:14:12,455 --> 00:14:14,189
Although there is a tiny
part of me that always thought

355
00:14:14,224 --> 00:14:15,424
it was just Chris
talking into a mirror.

356
00:14:15,458 --> 00:14:17,059
Anyway, maybe you should
look him up.

357
00:14:17,093 --> 00:14:18,414
I don't know,
I read a book once

358
00:14:18,428 --> 00:14:20,095
that said a woman should never
make the first move.

359
00:14:20,130 --> 00:14:22,164
That doesn't apply to therapy.
Okay. Good luck!

360
00:14:24,587 --> 00:14:27,422
Oliver Perkins-Traeger,
meet your Aunt Leslie.

361
00:14:27,456 --> 00:14:31,760
Hey! Oh, he's so beautiful.
And you're so beautiful.

362
00:14:31,794 --> 00:14:33,929
I mean, you're always beautiful,
but right now you are

363
00:14:33,963 --> 00:14:36,198
the most beautiful,
glowing sun goddess ever.

364
00:14:36,232 --> 00:14:38,366
Why didn't you tell me
you were in labor?

365
00:14:38,401 --> 00:14:40,535
Well, 'cause I knew you'd
drop everything and rush here,

366
00:14:40,570 --> 00:14:41,870
and contractions
can sometimes go for days.

367
00:14:41,904 --> 00:14:43,205
Thank you.

368
00:14:43,239 --> 00:14:45,340
So I didn't want you to be
stuck waiting around.

369
00:14:45,374 --> 00:14:47,342
Well, I'm glad I'm here now.
Where's Chris?

370
00:14:47,376 --> 00:14:49,444
Oh, he was such a good coach
that the nurses asked him

371
00:14:49,479 --> 00:14:52,114
to help out with a delivery
down the hall.

372
00:14:52,148 --> 00:14:53,315
Ow.

373
00:14:53,349 --> 00:14:55,884
Ow.

374
00:14:55,918 --> 00:14:57,185
Ow!

375
00:14:57,220 --> 00:14:59,855
Andrew, you need
to get your tooth fixed.

376
00:14:59,889 --> 00:15:01,423
No way.
I'm not going back there.

377
00:15:01,457 --> 00:15:02,724
I already won
all the magazine mazes.

378
00:15:02,759 --> 00:15:05,193
Don't worry.
It's gonna be fine.

379
00:15:05,228 --> 00:15:06,495
Ow!

380
00:15:06,529 --> 00:15:07,496
If you don't
take care of the problem now,

381
00:15:07,530 --> 00:15:08,764
it's only gonna get worse.

382
00:15:08,798 --> 00:15:11,633
- Come on. I'll drive you back.
- Fine.

383
00:15:11,667 --> 00:15:13,535
Let me just wolf down
this peanut brittle real quick.

384
00:15:15,271 --> 00:15:17,739
Why would you do that?

385
00:15:17,774 --> 00:15:19,574
Oh, right.
'Cause calories.

386
00:15:19,609 --> 00:15:21,076
We're dead.

387
00:15:21,110 --> 00:15:23,430
The only tent store this guy
doesn't own is 300 miles away.

388
00:15:23,446 --> 00:15:24,880
Oh, hang on.
Here's a place that might work.

389
00:15:24,914 --> 00:15:28,216
It's called
Sweaty Roger's Pants Tent.

390
00:15:28,251 --> 00:15:30,452
Oh, no, you can't
rent tents there.

391
00:15:30,486 --> 00:15:31,887
Hey, guys.

392
00:15:31,921 --> 00:15:34,689
Look, I was double-checking all
the paperwork that Tom gave me

393
00:15:34,724 --> 00:15:36,358
in that super fun parking lot,

394
00:15:36,392 --> 00:15:38,794
and there was something about
Harvey's corporate structure

395
00:15:38,828 --> 00:15:40,061
that just seemed fishy.

396
00:15:40,096 --> 00:15:41,763
So I dug around...

397
00:15:41,798 --> 00:15:46,768
and it turns out he has got
a lot of code violations.

398
00:15:46,803 --> 00:15:49,204
Whoa!
Larry, this is great stuff.

399
00:15:49,238 --> 00:15:50,705
Never thought I would say it,

400
00:15:50,740 --> 00:15:52,507
but I'm a genius for making you

401
00:15:52,542 --> 00:15:54,276
stay outside
and do a menial task.

402
00:15:54,310 --> 00:15:57,446
Couldn't agree more.
You did it, Tom.

403
00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,881
Mm, I don't want to drive back.

404
00:15:59,916 --> 00:16:01,082
I miss you so much.

405
00:16:01,117 --> 00:16:03,518
No one even comes
close to you as a friend.

406
00:16:03,553 --> 00:16:05,287
I even tried to rank
the women at work,

407
00:16:05,321 --> 00:16:08,123
- but that was a total bust.
- You ranked them?

408
00:16:08,157 --> 00:16:09,524
Well, I thought maybe I could

409
00:16:09,559 --> 00:16:11,126
use Galentine's day
as an opportunity...

410
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:12,861
Leslie, Galentine's day?

411
00:16:12,895 --> 00:16:14,463
What do you want me to do, Ann?

412
00:16:14,497 --> 00:16:17,833
I need to find a replacement,
and don't worry, it didn't work.

413
00:16:17,867 --> 00:16:20,535
Nobody can match
your ethnic hybrid energy.

414
00:16:20,570 --> 00:16:23,972
Everybody brings their own
unique strengths to the table.

415
00:16:24,007 --> 00:16:25,307
Some that even I don't have.

416
00:16:25,341 --> 00:16:27,909
You shut your mouth.
You have all the strengths.

417
00:16:27,944 --> 00:16:30,645
Look, you love harder
than anyone I know.

418
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,214
It's tough to match.

419
00:16:32,248 --> 00:16:34,282
And I know Donna and April
don't show it,

420
00:16:34,317 --> 00:16:36,418
but they would
do anything for you.

421
00:16:36,452 --> 00:16:38,587
And it's not like you and I
always see eye to eye.

422
00:16:38,621 --> 00:16:40,589
I mean, Friday Night Lights?

423
00:16:40,623 --> 00:16:43,225
I am more of a Riggins girl,
and you lean Saracen.

424
00:16:43,259 --> 00:16:44,559
Yeah, 'cause Riggins
is a criminal.

425
00:16:44,594 --> 00:16:46,828
He took the fall
for his brother.

426
00:16:46,863 --> 00:16:48,430
Okay, he didn't
watch out for his brother.

427
00:16:48,464 --> 00:16:50,399
You know, I'm not having this
conversation with you again.

428
00:16:50,433 --> 00:16:51,500
That family is garbage.

429
00:16:51,534 --> 00:16:53,568
The point is we didn't

430
00:16:53,603 --> 00:16:56,938
always like the same stuff
when we first became friends.

431
00:16:56,973 --> 00:16:59,608
Just don't force it.
Give it some time.

432
00:16:59,642 --> 00:17:02,144
I know, you're right, Ann.
Thank you.

433
00:17:02,178 --> 00:17:03,812
It's just I'm missing you,

434
00:17:03,846 --> 00:17:06,214
and there's so much stuff
I want to talk to you about.

435
00:17:06,249 --> 00:17:08,850
Well, you're here now,
so let's talk.

436
00:17:08,885 --> 00:17:10,519
Oh.

437
00:17:10,553 --> 00:17:13,121
I think Oliver
has more pressing business.

438
00:17:13,156 --> 00:17:14,790
Okay, but we should talk soon,

439
00:17:14,824 --> 00:17:15,991
'cause I almost bought
a toe ring the other day.

440
00:17:16,025 --> 00:17:18,260
What?
Ann, you're somebody's mother.

441
00:17:18,294 --> 00:17:20,262
- I know.
- Okay.

442
00:17:20,296 --> 00:17:22,764
I'm gonna give
you two some time.

443
00:17:22,799 --> 00:17:24,866
I'll call you from the car.

444
00:17:24,901 --> 00:17:27,169
I'll be out here
if you need me.

445
00:17:27,203 --> 00:17:29,604
Thanks for doing this, Ron.

446
00:17:29,639 --> 00:17:31,106
When it's all said and done,

447
00:17:31,140 --> 00:17:32,474
there were a few mazes
I'd cheated on.

448
00:17:32,508 --> 00:17:37,079
Also, the inside of my mouth
is black and hot.

449
00:17:38,414 --> 00:17:42,184
So do I strip down to my
underwear, or all the way naked?

450
00:17:44,854 --> 00:17:46,421
Hello, Diane.

451
00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:51,126
I'm coming home soon to relieve
you, give you a little break.

452
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,961
It's no trouble at all.

453
00:17:52,995 --> 00:17:55,230
I'm a parent.
I'm always on duty.

454
00:17:55,264 --> 00:17:58,900
What flavor ice cream
would you and the children like?

455
00:17:58,935 --> 00:18:01,403
I'm getting some for
a 30-year-old who works for me,

456
00:18:01,437 --> 00:18:04,139
so I can bring some home
for you too.

457
00:18:04,173 --> 00:18:05,407
Hello, Harvey.

458
00:18:05,441 --> 00:18:07,909
We found a glaring number
of code violations

459
00:18:07,944 --> 00:18:09,811
you've committed.

460
00:18:09,846 --> 00:18:11,813
I could see to it
that you never

461
00:18:11,848 --> 00:18:13,749
rent another tent
in this region again.

462
00:18:13,783 --> 00:18:16,618
Gentlemen, I've won two

463
00:18:16,652 --> 00:18:19,121
online satellite Jamaican
poker tournaments.

464
00:18:19,155 --> 00:18:20,489
I can tell that you're bluffing.

465
00:18:20,523 --> 00:18:22,324
Your Pawnee business license
has lapsed,

466
00:18:22,358 --> 00:18:24,393
which negates most of the deals
you've made this year.

467
00:18:24,427 --> 00:18:26,595
I'm guessing
you're pretty bad at poker.

468
00:18:26,629 --> 00:18:30,599
I am. And I was bluffing
about winning those tournaments.

469
00:18:30,633 --> 00:18:33,368
Gentlemen, clearly there's been
a misunderstanding here.

470
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:36,037
I'm hoping that we can reach
some kind of a compromise.

471
00:18:36,072 --> 00:18:38,406
Yeah, first off, I need to know

472
00:18:38,441 --> 00:18:39,941
where you got these
zebra-print pillows.

473
00:18:39,976 --> 00:18:42,310
Second of all,
I got a Tin Cup Blu-Ray

474
00:18:42,345 --> 00:18:43,545
itching for
a Rene Russo signature.

475
00:18:43,579 --> 00:18:44,946
Tom.

476
00:18:44,981 --> 00:18:47,449
The compromise is that
you're gonna sign

477
00:18:47,483 --> 00:18:49,484
the deal we originally
agreed upon.

478
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:52,054
We're going to let you
continue renting tents,

479
00:18:52,088 --> 00:18:53,922
and you're going to do it
at a fair price.

480
00:18:53,956 --> 00:18:56,491
And Larry, he's the guy
that brought you down,

481
00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:59,428
and he's gonna be
watching you like a hawk.

482
00:18:59,462 --> 00:19:00,762
Oh, hey.

483
00:19:00,797 --> 00:19:03,732
I'm Larry. Great to know you.
I love tent world.

484
00:19:03,766 --> 00:19:06,435
God! Can you just be cool
for one second?

485
00:19:07,770 --> 00:19:11,573
Okay,
black coffee with extra grounds.

486
00:19:11,607 --> 00:19:13,141
Gross. For April.

487
00:19:13,176 --> 00:19:15,410
And a mocha ice blended
for Donna.

488
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:17,579
Guys, I totally blew it.

489
00:19:17,613 --> 00:19:20,515
I was all screwed up,
and I'm really sorry.

490
00:19:20,550 --> 00:19:22,884
You're wonderful friends,
and I love you.

491
00:19:22,919 --> 00:19:24,886
We love your crazy ass too,
Knope.

492
00:19:24,921 --> 00:19:28,090
I think you're fine.
Like a solid B-minus.

493
00:19:28,124 --> 00:19:29,558
Great. I'll take it.

494
00:19:29,592 --> 00:19:33,095
We know you've been
missing Ann, so we...

495
00:19:33,129 --> 00:19:36,331
got you this.

496
00:19:36,366 --> 00:19:38,433
Press the paw.

497
00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:40,102
Hi, Leslie. It's Ann.

498
00:19:40,136 --> 00:19:42,771
I love you,
and everything's gonna be okay.

499
00:19:42,805 --> 00:19:44,106
It's cute, right?

500
00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:45,741
I'm very lucky
to have you both.

501
00:19:45,775 --> 00:19:47,809
You know, when Ann and I
used to fight,

502
00:19:47,844 --> 00:19:49,778
we would make up
with a five-minute hug.

503
00:19:49,812 --> 00:19:51,292
Mm, you touch me
and I stab the bunny.

504
00:19:51,314 --> 00:19:52,848
Yeah, it's about time
for my mid-morning mani,

505
00:19:52,882 --> 00:19:53,849
so I'm gonna head out.

506
00:19:53,883 --> 00:19:55,517
Okay. Well, that's fine.

507
00:19:55,551 --> 00:19:58,153
Well, you know, we'll forge
our own unique traditions

508
00:19:58,187 --> 00:20:01,690
in the fiery cauldron
of female friendship.

509
00:20:01,724 --> 00:20:03,525
I'm just an impartial bunny,

510
00:20:03,526 --> 00:20:06,094
but I think Ann sucks.

511
00:20:06,129 --> 00:20:08,997
Also...
I'm the zodiac killer.

512
00:20:11,570 --> 00:20:14,682
And we might even be able
to pull it off under budget.

513
00:20:14,717 --> 00:20:16,384
Sorry.
Sorry, you guys, I'm sorry.

514
00:20:16,418 --> 00:20:18,853
I'm trying to find my inhaler,
'cause I'm having a little...

515
00:20:18,887 --> 00:20:20,121
Take your time.
I mean, it's not like

516
00:20:20,155 --> 00:20:21,422
we're trying
to get work done here.

517
00:20:21,457 --> 00:20:22,490
Yeah, and Larry, by the way,

518
00:20:22,524 --> 00:20:23,491
you're looking
in the wrong spot.

519
00:20:23,525 --> 00:20:24,792
Your inhaler is hidden under

520
00:20:24,827 --> 00:20:26,694
the pile of pistachio shells
on my desk, obviously.

521
00:20:26,729 --> 00:20:28,029
Okay, well, that's funny,

522
00:20:28,063 --> 00:20:29,030
'cause I'm terribly allergic
to pistachios.

523
00:20:29,064 --> 00:20:30,932
Classic.

524
00:20:30,966 --> 00:20:35,370
Okay, you know what?
I need to say something.

525
00:20:35,404 --> 00:20:38,139
I like Larry.

526
00:20:38,173 --> 00:20:41,576
He is a good friend
and a fine man

527
00:20:41,610 --> 00:20:43,978
with an inexplicably
gorgeous wife...

528
00:20:44,013 --> 00:20:46,547
I mean, to the point where
it makes no sense at all.

529
00:20:46,582 --> 00:20:48,049
Sorry. Getting off track.

530
00:20:48,083 --> 00:20:49,651
He is a nice person,

531
00:20:49,685 --> 00:20:55,523
and we should all
stand up and say, "I...

532
00:20:55,557 --> 00:20:56,524
like..."

533
00:20:56,558 --> 00:20:59,227
Ben! No!
What are you doing?

534
00:20:59,261 --> 00:21:01,796
Uh, he's embarrassing himself
and throwing away his career.

535
00:21:01,830 --> 00:21:04,966
- Sweetheart, stop.
- O, captain, my captain.

536
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:09,003
- What is happening?
- Larry is my friend.

537
00:21:09,038 --> 00:21:11,506
Thank you, Ben.

538
00:21:11,540 --> 00:21:12,507
I mean that.

539
00:21:12,541 --> 00:21:16,377
Oh!

540
00:21:16,412 --> 00:21:18,913
Got so startled I tooted.

541
00:21:18,948 --> 00:21:19,914
Come on, man.

542
00:21:19,949 --> 00:21:20,948
- Oh...
- Gross!

543
00:21:21,974 --> 00:21:30,021
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com