1 00:00:01,345 --> 00:00:04,097 Well, I'd have to check but I'm pretty sure we can handle that. 2 00:00:04,149 --> 00:00:05,018 I do have... 3 00:00:05,595 --> 00:00:06,573 one question. 4 00:00:09,422 --> 00:00:10,087 Hold up. 5 00:00:10,433 --> 00:00:11,673 Oh my God! 6 00:00:12,249 --> 00:00:13,111 Andy! 7 00:00:13,656 --> 00:00:14,648 - Sorry. - Andy! 8 00:00:14,768 --> 00:00:15,658 Are you getting sick? 9 00:00:15,881 --> 00:00:17,891 It's flu season again! I cannot get sick. 10 00:00:18,011 --> 00:00:19,810 Stock up on kleenex. Don't touch your face. 11 00:00:19,844 --> 00:00:20,683 Don't touch anything. 12 00:00:20,789 --> 00:00:22,576 People are dropping like flies. 13 00:00:22,611 --> 00:00:24,410 We already had to quarantine Larry. 14 00:00:24,444 --> 00:00:25,743 Leslie, I don't feel good. 15 00:00:25,777 --> 00:00:27,077 Can't I just work from home? 16 00:00:27,111 --> 00:00:28,476 The tent is your home now, Larry. 17 00:00:28,510 --> 00:00:29,776 We already forwarded your mail. 18 00:00:31,011 --> 00:00:32,177 Oh, well, here's something 19 00:00:32,211 --> 00:00:34,110 that's gonna make you feel really good. 20 00:00:34,144 --> 00:00:35,310 Guess who I just secured 21 00:00:35,345 --> 00:00:37,243 as the headliner for the unity concert. 22 00:00:37,278 --> 00:00:38,243 Chipp McCapp. 23 00:00:38,278 --> 00:00:39,244 - No! - Yes! 24 00:00:39,278 --> 00:00:40,409 Nice! 25 00:00:40,444 --> 00:00:41,576 Wait, no. I don't want to touch your hand. 26 00:00:41,611 --> 00:00:42,876 Chipp McCapp is the most amazing 27 00:00:42,911 --> 00:00:44,810 17-year-old country singer in the entire world. 28 00:00:44,844 --> 00:00:45,843 He's, like, Indiana's sweetheart. 29 00:00:45,878 --> 00:00:46,943 We are huge "Chipp Monks." 30 00:00:46,978 --> 00:00:48,476 That's what his fans call themselves. 31 00:00:48,510 --> 00:00:49,810 I don't know why. "Chipmunks." 32 00:00:49,844 --> 00:00:51,610 Because of the animal? No, that's too simple. 33 00:00:51,644 --> 00:00:52,943 Yeah, okay, his latest song, 34 00:00:52,978 --> 00:00:54,776 beautiful like my mom , 35 00:00:54,811 --> 00:00:56,810 has, like, 2 million hits on YouTube. 36 00:01:04,178 --> 00:01:05,543 Get home safe, boys. 37 00:01:05,577 --> 00:01:07,776 And thank you for protecting our freedom. 38 00:01:11,245 --> 00:01:12,443 - Let's play it again. - Play it again. 39 00:01:15,477 --> 00:01:23,476 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 40 00:01:32,644 --> 00:01:35,443 Today at a local vineyard, a bunch of sommeliers... 41 00:01:35,477 --> 00:01:37,277 aka, wine experts... 42 00:01:37,311 --> 00:01:39,143 are going to be competing for their certification. 43 00:01:39,178 --> 00:01:40,576 I'm gonna hire the best one 44 00:01:40,611 --> 00:01:42,576 - at my new restaurant... - Tom's Bistro. 45 00:01:42,611 --> 00:01:44,910 People that convince other people to buy expensive stuff 46 00:01:44,944 --> 00:01:48,143 they don't need... those are the real heroes. 47 00:01:48,178 --> 00:01:49,543 Donna, April, 48 00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:51,277 wine country train is leaving the station. 49 00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:52,610 - You ready? - I want to come. 50 00:01:52,644 --> 00:01:54,543 I love wine and everything about it... 51 00:01:54,577 --> 00:01:55,843 the soil, the vines. 52 00:01:55,878 --> 00:01:58,177 I studied Botany for three years at Purdue University. 53 00:01:58,211 --> 00:01:59,510 Go, boilermakers! 54 00:01:59,544 --> 00:02:02,510 There will be alcohol there, so I will go as well. 55 00:02:02,544 --> 00:02:03,843 Well, maybe I'll tag along. 56 00:02:03,878 --> 00:02:05,077 I don't have any more work to do. 57 00:02:05,111 --> 00:02:06,110 Maybe it'll be relaxing. 58 00:02:06,144 --> 00:02:07,476 I didn't invite any of you. 59 00:02:07,511 --> 00:02:08,676 I started with two cool people; 60 00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:10,110 I ended up with a bunch of grandpas. 61 00:02:10,145 --> 00:02:11,443 Listen, grandpas, 62 00:02:11,477 --> 00:02:12,643 when we get to the vineyard, 63 00:02:12,677 --> 00:02:15,143 there's gonna be a lot of fancy people there. 64 00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:17,943 Please, I beg you... don't embarrass me. 65 00:02:17,978 --> 00:02:19,210 How would we embarrass you? 66 00:02:19,245 --> 00:02:20,376 You're already doing it. 67 00:02:20,410 --> 00:02:21,743 I begged you. 68 00:02:21,778 --> 00:02:23,077 I guess now that we got 69 00:02:23,111 --> 00:02:24,409 Chipp McCapp as our headliner, 70 00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:26,077 I can get rid of my awesome wish list. 71 00:02:26,111 --> 00:02:27,643 Yeah, those are long shots. 72 00:02:27,677 --> 00:02:28,777 "Bob Dylan's friends"? 73 00:02:28,811 --> 00:02:29,850 Well, I just thought maybe 74 00:02:29,878 --> 00:02:31,157 they could get Bob Dylan to come. 75 00:02:31,178 --> 00:02:32,710 Land Ho. God, I love them. 76 00:02:32,744 --> 00:02:34,144 Everybody does. 77 00:02:34,178 --> 00:02:35,309 But there's no way they're getting back together. 78 00:02:35,344 --> 00:02:36,843 Their lead singer split ten years ago. 79 00:02:36,878 --> 00:02:39,309 He titled their last album We'll Never Reunite. 80 00:02:39,344 --> 00:02:40,810 Leslie... 81 00:02:40,844 --> 00:02:42,476 No! Back in your tent, sicky! 82 00:02:43,778 --> 00:02:46,244 I'm sorry, but Chipp McCapp's manager called. 83 00:02:46,277 --> 00:02:47,943 He has to drop out. 84 00:02:47,978 --> 00:02:48,943 No! 85 00:02:48,978 --> 00:02:50,177 Okay, we need all hands on deck. 86 00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:51,343 But there are no hands to be on deck, 87 00:02:51,377 --> 00:02:52,510 because everybody's at the winery. 88 00:02:52,544 --> 00:02:53,843 Okay, Andy, you and I need to handle this. 89 00:02:53,878 --> 00:02:57,177 We need to be operating at maximum capa... 90 00:03:01,011 --> 00:03:01,977 Oh, no. 91 00:03:03,844 --> 00:03:04,977 Damn it, Larry! 92 00:03:05,011 --> 00:03:06,410 Sorry. 93 00:03:08,611 --> 00:03:10,210 Xander, my man-der. 94 00:03:10,245 --> 00:03:11,244 Tom Haverford, 95 00:03:11,277 --> 00:03:13,910 owner, operator, and global ambassador 96 00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:14,977 for Tom's Bistro, 97 00:03:15,011 --> 00:03:16,777 opening this spring in Pawnee. 98 00:03:16,811 --> 00:03:17,810 It's a pleasure to meet you. 99 00:03:17,844 --> 00:03:18,810 Damn. 100 00:03:18,844 --> 00:03:20,376 Look at that tie dimple. 101 00:03:20,411 --> 00:03:21,543 Respect. 102 00:03:21,577 --> 00:03:24,210 My main target for Tom's Bistro: 103 00:03:24,244 --> 00:03:25,710 Xander Truffant. 104 00:03:25,744 --> 00:03:27,543 He's the best young somm in the game. 105 00:03:27,577 --> 00:03:28,877 I don't say this lightly... 106 00:03:28,911 --> 00:03:30,376 he's basically the Bruno Mars 107 00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:32,476 of Indiana amateur wine tasting. 108 00:03:32,511 --> 00:03:33,977 If you'll excuse me, 109 00:03:34,011 --> 00:03:36,310 I must prepare for the tasting competition. 110 00:03:36,344 --> 00:03:38,643 I pour saline water through my nose 111 00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,743 to clear the mucous from my smell-centers. 112 00:03:40,778 --> 00:03:43,077 That is the most beautiful thing 113 00:03:43,111 --> 00:03:44,643 I've ever heard. 114 00:03:44,678 --> 00:03:45,810 Aw, man. 115 00:03:45,844 --> 00:03:47,977 It costs $200 to get certified. 116 00:03:48,011 --> 00:03:51,309 I wanted to make fun of stupid people while I get drunk, 117 00:03:51,344 --> 00:03:53,209 my two true passions. 118 00:03:53,244 --> 00:03:54,376 You want to futz with these fools? 119 00:03:54,411 --> 00:03:55,510 I will bankroll you. 120 00:03:55,544 --> 00:03:56,510 Really? 121 00:03:56,544 --> 00:03:57,510 Oh, hell yeah, pimp. 122 00:03:57,544 --> 00:03:58,510 Sounds like fun. 123 00:03:58,544 --> 00:03:59,710 Thank you. 124 00:03:59,744 --> 00:04:01,643 April Ludgate, professional drinker. 125 00:04:01,678 --> 00:04:05,209 Where did you study, Ms. Ludgate? 126 00:04:05,244 --> 00:04:06,543 The Wine... 127 00:04:06,577 --> 00:04:08,110 Academy. 128 00:04:08,145 --> 00:04:09,710 The Wine Academy? 129 00:04:09,744 --> 00:04:10,710 In Bordeaux? 130 00:04:10,744 --> 00:04:11,810 Yes. 131 00:04:11,844 --> 00:04:13,977 Carol, make sure she's in group "A." 132 00:04:14,011 --> 00:04:15,977 Oh, excuse me. I want in too. 133 00:04:16,011 --> 00:04:17,170 I know I don't look the part, 134 00:04:17,178 --> 00:04:18,476 but I know everything about wine, 135 00:04:18,511 --> 00:04:19,643 and I will prove it. 136 00:04:19,678 --> 00:04:20,877 My name is Craig Middlebrooks, 137 00:04:20,878 --> 00:04:22,877 and this is my debit rewards card. 138 00:04:22,911 --> 00:04:26,443 Well, why wouldn't you run this by me first, dad? 139 00:04:26,477 --> 00:04:28,610 Whatever. 140 00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:31,276 Sorry. Just weird family business. 141 00:04:31,311 --> 00:04:32,276 Sounds private. 142 00:04:32,311 --> 00:04:33,577 No need to discuss it with me. 143 00:04:33,611 --> 00:04:35,529 My parents had this small little vacation house 144 00:04:35,544 --> 00:04:38,010 on Lake Hubbard, and now they've sold it 145 00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:39,243 without telling the rest of us. 146 00:04:39,277 --> 00:04:40,376 Did you not hear me say 147 00:04:40,411 --> 00:04:42,044 there was no need to discuss it with me? 148 00:04:42,078 --> 00:04:43,756 My dad sent me this check out of the blue... 149 00:04:43,778 --> 00:04:45,077 my share of the profits. 150 00:04:45,111 --> 00:04:48,543 It's so disrespectful to the family structure. 151 00:04:48,578 --> 00:04:49,877 Maybe a drink will help. 152 00:04:49,911 --> 00:04:51,376 Put some alcohol in your mouth 153 00:04:51,411 --> 00:04:53,476 to block the words from coming out. 154 00:04:53,511 --> 00:04:54,810 Some of our blueberry wine? 155 00:04:54,844 --> 00:04:56,077 We make it right here at the vineyard. 156 00:04:56,111 --> 00:04:57,209 I don't drink alcohol 157 00:04:57,244 --> 00:04:59,143 from that portion of the color spectrum. 158 00:04:59,177 --> 00:05:00,810 Hey! Whew! 159 00:05:00,844 --> 00:05:02,810 Whoa. That's strong. 160 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:05,310 Holy hell. That's a lot of alcohol. 161 00:05:05,344 --> 00:05:08,944 We will take four bottles, please and thank you. 162 00:05:08,978 --> 00:05:12,443 All we need to do is go to Indianapolis, 163 00:05:12,477 --> 00:05:14,777 convince Chipp to do the festival, 164 00:05:14,811 --> 00:05:17,543 and then, you know, head home. 165 00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:19,377 Are you sure you're feeling up for this, boss? 166 00:05:19,411 --> 00:05:20,577 I'm fine. 167 00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:22,143 I've had the flu before, and I worked through it. 168 00:05:22,177 --> 00:05:23,643 Okay, well, if you do collapse, 169 00:05:23,678 --> 00:05:24,977 luckily I know first aid. 170 00:05:25,011 --> 00:05:26,044 Or karate. 171 00:05:26,078 --> 00:05:27,044 That's not first aid. 172 00:05:27,078 --> 00:05:29,044 It is if you do it right. 173 00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:30,243 Heimlich! 174 00:05:30,277 --> 00:05:32,044 Well, I guess while you get your medicine, 175 00:05:32,078 --> 00:05:33,476 I'll just stroll through the candy aisles 176 00:05:33,511 --> 00:05:34,476 but won't get any. 177 00:05:34,511 --> 00:05:35,510 You can buy two candies. 178 00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:36,944 Two! 179 00:05:36,978 --> 00:05:37,944 Can I help you? 180 00:05:37,978 --> 00:05:39,109 I have the flu. 181 00:05:39,144 --> 00:05:40,610 Super nauseated for a few days, 182 00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:41,643 a lot of barfing. 183 00:05:41,678 --> 00:05:43,143 It's a total disaster. 184 00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,376 Plus I have a ton of work to do, 185 00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:45,643 so I need the good stuff, 186 00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:49,443 the "Mariah needs to sing tonight" stuff. 187 00:05:49,477 --> 00:05:53,276 You don't look flushed, no signs of fever. 188 00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:54,743 That doesn't seem like the flu. 189 00:05:54,778 --> 00:05:56,077 It's the flu. 190 00:05:56,110 --> 00:05:59,276 I mean, I don't think it could be anything... 191 00:06:04,612 --> 00:06:06,109 This counts as one. 192 00:06:08,921 --> 00:06:10,786 So mad at my parents. 193 00:06:10,821 --> 00:06:12,286 I mean, they both wanted the house 194 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,453 for Columbus Day weekend, and they fought so much 195 00:06:14,487 --> 00:06:15,953 that they decided to just sell it 196 00:06:15,988 --> 00:06:16,953 to spite each other... 197 00:06:16,987 --> 00:06:19,119 More wine, less talking. 198 00:06:19,153 --> 00:06:21,119 You know, you are a wonderful guy, 199 00:06:21,153 --> 00:06:22,953 and I admire many things about you, 200 00:06:22,988 --> 00:06:24,453 but you're a terrible person 201 00:06:24,487 --> 00:06:26,653 to discuss personal problems with. 202 00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:27,820 Thank you, friend. 203 00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:30,419 That really means a lot to me. 204 00:06:31,787 --> 00:06:34,419 Pumpkin, undertones of lavender. 205 00:06:34,454 --> 00:06:35,586 Medium-plus body. 206 00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:36,753 It's mostly pumpkin. 207 00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:38,020 There's so much pumpkin, 208 00:06:38,053 --> 00:06:40,186 it's like a Charlie Brown Halloween special. 209 00:06:40,220 --> 00:06:43,486 I'm getting notes of dried robin's blood, 210 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:44,987 old dirty cashews, 211 00:06:45,021 --> 00:06:48,052 and just a hint of a robot's bathwater. 212 00:06:48,087 --> 00:06:50,553 An old-world wine, Italian. 213 00:06:50,587 --> 00:06:51,553 Ah. 214 00:06:51,587 --> 00:06:52,887 It's a Verdicchio Doc classico, 215 00:06:52,921 --> 00:06:54,152 2010. 216 00:06:54,187 --> 00:06:55,319 It's new world, 217 00:06:55,354 --> 00:06:57,152 Northern California, Napa Valley, 218 00:06:57,187 --> 00:06:58,987 someplace beautiful and warm and amazing 219 00:06:59,021 --> 00:07:00,319 where everyone is in great shape 220 00:07:00,354 --> 00:07:02,720 and the night sky is full of stars! 221 00:07:02,754 --> 00:07:06,186 This comes from... your mother's butt. 222 00:07:13,721 --> 00:07:17,119 Man, you were in the bathroom forever. 223 00:07:17,153 --> 00:07:18,953 The receptionist said that 224 00:07:18,988 --> 00:07:19,953 Chipp will be out in just a second. 225 00:07:19,988 --> 00:07:21,119 Uh, I just need a minute. 226 00:07:21,153 --> 00:07:23,653 I'm going to call Ben about nothing. 227 00:07:23,687 --> 00:07:26,319 My parents make me so mad sometimes. 228 00:07:26,354 --> 00:07:29,152 Just like the time they couldn't decide 229 00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:31,386 who gets the dog, so they just dropped it off 230 00:07:31,420 --> 00:07:32,553 at a local synagogue. 231 00:07:32,587 --> 00:07:35,453 I was like, "Wh... wh... say what?" 232 00:07:36,821 --> 00:07:37,853 Hold on, Ron. 233 00:07:37,888 --> 00:07:39,386 Hold that thought, just for a sec. 234 00:07:40,554 --> 00:07:41,686 Hey, honey. 235 00:07:41,721 --> 00:07:43,686 Hey. It's your me. 236 00:07:43,721 --> 00:07:44,853 It's wife. 237 00:07:44,888 --> 00:07:47,353 It's Leslie, uh, Knope. 238 00:07:47,387 --> 00:07:49,019 I have very big news for you. 239 00:07:49,053 --> 00:07:51,353 Oh, my teeth are blue. 240 00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,920 - Blueberries are alcohol... - What? 241 00:07:52,954 --> 00:07:54,353 Are you having a stroke? 242 00:07:54,387 --> 00:07:56,786 And I was just saying to Ron that my dog's Jewish. 243 00:07:56,821 --> 00:07:57,786 Oh. 244 00:07:57,821 --> 00:07:58,786 Phone water. 245 00:07:58,821 --> 00:07:59,953 Ben? 246 00:07:59,987 --> 00:08:01,119 Hello? 247 00:08:01,154 --> 00:08:02,453 Hello? 248 00:08:02,487 --> 00:08:03,620 Hi. 249 00:08:03,654 --> 00:08:04,620 Leslie? 250 00:08:04,654 --> 00:08:05,620 It's dead. 251 00:08:05,654 --> 00:08:07,453 Hello? 252 00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:10,686 You know, Leslie sounded weird. 253 00:08:10,721 --> 00:08:11,880 I don't want to wait for Tom. 254 00:08:11,888 --> 00:08:13,152 I want to walk home. 255 00:08:13,187 --> 00:08:14,319 I'll join you. 256 00:08:14,354 --> 00:08:16,153 I'm always game for a brisk walk. 257 00:08:16,187 --> 00:08:19,186 Also, if I leave you alone, I'm pretty sure you'll die. 258 00:08:19,220 --> 00:08:20,453 Home is that way. 259 00:08:30,888 --> 00:08:32,386 Watch out for that fence. 260 00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:34,553 Ah, Mr. Haverford, 261 00:08:34,587 --> 00:08:37,720 allow me to introduce Terrence Montreaux. 262 00:08:37,754 --> 00:08:39,219 He is a restaurateur like yourself. 263 00:08:39,254 --> 00:08:40,453 You own a restaurant too? 264 00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:41,952 No, monsieur. 265 00:08:41,987 --> 00:08:43,453 I own 12. 266 00:08:43,487 --> 00:08:45,286 I am here to find the best sommeliers 267 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:46,952 as soon as they are... 268 00:08:46,987 --> 00:08:49,453 how you say, um, "certified." 269 00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:50,453 That was my idea. 270 00:08:50,487 --> 00:08:52,286 That is everyone's idea. 271 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:55,319 That is why we have this, how you say... 272 00:08:55,354 --> 00:08:56,520 "thing." 273 00:08:56,554 --> 00:08:57,686 Okay, don't act like you don't know 274 00:08:57,721 --> 00:08:59,386 the word "thing." 275 00:08:59,420 --> 00:09:01,720 With a filet mignon, I'd recommend a red... 276 00:09:01,754 --> 00:09:04,486 something bold and dry, like David Sedaris. 277 00:09:04,521 --> 00:09:07,286 Perhaps you could recommend a Riesling instead. 278 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,286 Not if you're eating steak, you loon! 279 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:12,053 You know in the movies, when the cops show up 280 00:09:12,087 --> 00:09:13,720 and find lipstick on a wine glass 281 00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,886 next to a dead body? 282 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,486 This is that wine. 283 00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:25,653 We're sorry to interrupt, Chipp, hi. 284 00:09:25,687 --> 00:09:28,153 We just wanted to say we are such big fans. 285 00:09:28,187 --> 00:09:29,320 It's an honor to meet you. 286 00:09:29,354 --> 00:09:30,653 Yeah, well, I'm very blessed. 287 00:09:30,687 --> 00:09:32,319 It's always nice to meet my amazing fans 288 00:09:32,354 --> 00:09:33,486 that keep me going. 289 00:09:33,521 --> 00:09:35,153 You're the real superstars. 290 00:09:35,187 --> 00:09:36,420 Thank you. 291 00:09:36,454 --> 00:09:38,586 Would somebody get me one of those lunch stacks? 292 00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,286 And stack 'em for me this time. 293 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,119 Cheese on top or no one gets paid. 294 00:09:42,154 --> 00:09:43,453 You got it, Chipp. 295 00:09:43,487 --> 00:09:44,453 That's my dad. 296 00:09:44,487 --> 00:09:46,453 The guy's such an idiot. 297 00:09:46,487 --> 00:09:47,952 We wanted to talk to you 298 00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:50,753 about the unity concert, in Pawnee. 299 00:09:50,788 --> 00:09:52,086 Can you do it? 300 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:53,753 Yeah... uh, no. 301 00:09:53,788 --> 00:09:55,186 Sorry. I got a previous engagement. 302 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,186 It's a bummer. 303 00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:57,952 Oh. 304 00:09:57,987 --> 00:09:59,453 - Here you go, Chipp. - Look at that. 305 00:09:59,487 --> 00:10:00,620 The cheese is on top... 306 00:10:00,654 --> 00:10:02,453 of turkey, you dick. 307 00:10:02,487 --> 00:10:03,653 I want ham. 308 00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:05,886 I'm sorry, son. They were out of ham. 309 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,219 All right, well, maybe I should just let mom 310 00:10:07,254 --> 00:10:08,886 be manager, then. 311 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:10,553 Pick 'em up, skip. 312 00:10:10,587 --> 00:10:12,886 Ew. This guy's the worst. 313 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:15,053 I mean, it sucks that they didn't have ham, 314 00:10:15,087 --> 00:10:16,886 but you can't treat your dad like that. 315 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,553 I know, he's a monster. 316 00:10:18,587 --> 00:10:19,886 But we need him. 317 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,219 Your job's not that hard, okay? 318 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,886 Just anticipate my needs. 319 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,486 Anticipatin', Chipp. 320 00:10:24,521 --> 00:10:29,653 Of the 25 entrants today, only 1 has deemed himself 321 00:10:29,688 --> 00:10:32,186 worthy of a sommelier certificate. 322 00:10:32,220 --> 00:10:33,853 Oh, my God. Are you sure? 323 00:10:33,887 --> 00:10:34,852 No way. 324 00:10:34,887 --> 00:10:36,019 Oh, my God. Thank you. 325 00:10:36,054 --> 00:10:37,852 Thank you so much, everyone. 326 00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:41,019 I think we can agree that all wine tastes the same, 327 00:10:41,054 --> 00:10:44,019 and if you spend more than $5 on wine, 328 00:10:44,054 --> 00:10:46,286 you are very stupid. 329 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:47,586 Security. 330 00:10:47,621 --> 00:10:49,086 I just want to thank all the people that got me here: 331 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:53,086 Norbit, Pluto Nash, all the klumps. 332 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:58,420 Congratulations to the next Indiana master sommelier, 333 00:10:58,454 --> 00:10:59,986 Xander Truffant. 334 00:11:02,688 --> 00:11:04,720 Got to go talk to Xander before Terrence gets to him. 335 00:11:04,754 --> 00:11:07,353 Cover me. Gotcha. 336 00:11:07,387 --> 00:11:08,520 Oh, my goodness. 337 00:11:08,554 --> 00:11:09,687 Mon dieu! 338 00:11:09,721 --> 00:11:10,819 Qu'est-ce qui se passe? 339 00:11:10,853 --> 00:11:12,986 Oh, je suis desole, monsieur. 340 00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,186 Allons-y. Allons-y. 341 00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:15,486 Xander. 342 00:11:15,521 --> 00:11:18,486 Look, Tom's Bistro is going to be the dopest, 343 00:11:18,521 --> 00:11:21,420 quite possibly trillest restaurant in the area. 344 00:11:21,454 --> 00:11:22,986 What do you say? You want to work with me? 345 00:11:23,020 --> 00:11:24,520 Thank you, but I've already accepted 346 00:11:24,554 --> 00:11:26,119 an offer from Monsieur Montreaux. 347 00:11:26,154 --> 00:11:28,320 I'll double whatever he's paying you. 348 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,687 You'll pay me $500,000 a year? 349 00:11:30,721 --> 00:11:34,119 I will pay you 1/10 of whatever he's paying you. 350 00:11:34,154 --> 00:11:35,587 Sorry. 351 00:11:39,087 --> 00:11:40,220 Oh, man. 352 00:11:40,254 --> 00:11:42,553 This wine bottle is all out of the wine. 353 00:11:42,588 --> 00:11:44,386 Well, hello, gentlemen. 354 00:11:44,421 --> 00:11:46,919 What brings you out on this fine evening? 355 00:11:46,954 --> 00:11:48,220 Mother. 356 00:11:48,254 --> 00:11:49,752 Whoa. Where'd you come from? 357 00:11:49,787 --> 00:11:52,086 Uh, that's a complicated question. 358 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,420 All depends on whether your conception of time 359 00:11:54,454 --> 00:11:56,786 is linear or circular. 360 00:11:56,820 --> 00:11:58,786 What? 361 00:11:58,820 --> 00:12:00,220 Hello, Ron. 362 00:12:00,254 --> 00:12:01,220 Ron. 363 00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:02,719 You know this hobo? 364 00:12:02,753 --> 00:12:06,253 He was my counterpart from the Eagleton Parks Department. 365 00:12:06,287 --> 00:12:07,986 Dude, are you a ghost? 366 00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,687 Am I? 367 00:12:11,854 --> 00:12:13,553 What is happening right now? 368 00:12:13,588 --> 00:12:16,687 We know that you have that important other engagement. 369 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,186 Yo, I gots to get that haircut. 370 00:12:18,221 --> 00:12:19,353 Snoop! 371 00:12:19,387 --> 00:12:20,865 It's not just Pawnee that needs you. 372 00:12:20,887 --> 00:12:22,353 It's the entire region. 373 00:12:22,387 --> 00:12:23,687 Permission to speak, son? 374 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:26,186 Pawnee is kind of the gateway to that whole region. 375 00:12:26,221 --> 00:12:27,986 They do buy a lot of albums. 376 00:12:28,020 --> 00:12:29,520 They sure ain't buying toothpaste. 377 00:12:29,554 --> 00:12:30,687 Bunch of dirty Hicks. 378 00:12:31,954 --> 00:12:33,353 What if we fly me in and out same day 379 00:12:33,387 --> 00:12:35,386 so I wouldn't have to spend a night in your crap town? 380 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:36,553 Excuse me. 381 00:12:36,588 --> 00:12:37,719 Pawnee is a good town 382 00:12:37,753 --> 00:12:40,086 with good people from all walks of life. 383 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,086 Plus, it is an amazing place 384 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:43,752 to raise kids and start a family. 385 00:12:43,787 --> 00:12:45,086 You think I care about that? 386 00:12:45,121 --> 00:12:46,919 Look, I can do whatever I want, all right? 387 00:12:46,954 --> 00:12:48,853 If I want to shoot a paintball gun at my dad, 388 00:12:48,887 --> 00:12:49,853 I'm gonna do it. 389 00:12:50,887 --> 00:12:52,520 Good shot, son. 390 00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:53,520 I'm proud of you. 391 00:12:53,554 --> 00:12:54,520 You're crazy. 392 00:12:54,554 --> 00:12:55,520 This is over, okay? 393 00:12:55,554 --> 00:12:56,686 Pawnee does not need you. 394 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,053 And you should know that 395 00:12:58,087 --> 00:13:00,919 when you shook my hand earlier, there was pee on my palms. 396 00:13:00,954 --> 00:13:02,153 That makes us sound like Hicks. 397 00:13:02,187 --> 00:13:03,153 We're not. Shut up. 398 00:13:03,187 --> 00:13:04,307 Stupid. Okay. Let's go, Andy. 399 00:13:07,408 --> 00:13:08,647 You know what? That was awesome. 400 00:13:08,674 --> 00:13:09,360 You were great. 401 00:13:09,424 --> 00:13:11,056 I thought you were gonna punch that kid's lights out. 402 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:14,314 It was not awesome. I lost our headliner. 403 00:13:14,434 --> 00:13:16,049 I can't stop throwing up, 404 00:13:16,169 --> 00:13:17,789 and Ben has not called me back yet. 405 00:13:18,791 --> 00:13:20,090 I'm sorry I'm so frazzled. 406 00:13:20,124 --> 00:13:21,923 There's just a lot of things going on right now, 407 00:13:21,958 --> 00:13:24,090 personal things that I can't talk to you about. 408 00:13:24,124 --> 00:13:26,424 You know, Leslie, 409 00:13:26,458 --> 00:13:30,257 sometimes life throws us crazy curves, 410 00:13:30,291 --> 00:13:33,490 and, yes, this moment may be 411 00:13:33,525 --> 00:13:36,923 the biggest curve 412 00:13:36,958 --> 00:13:38,590 you've ever had to deal with, 413 00:13:38,624 --> 00:13:40,923 but just because your family is getting bigger 414 00:13:40,958 --> 00:13:43,590 does not mean that you can't handle it. 415 00:13:43,624 --> 00:13:45,557 You and Ben can handle anything. 416 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:48,390 Wow. 417 00:13:48,425 --> 00:13:49,656 Andy, thank you. 418 00:13:49,691 --> 00:13:52,756 That's exactly what I needed to hear right now. 419 00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:54,424 God, it's so weird that you know 420 00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:55,957 that I'm pregnant before Ben does... 421 00:13:55,991 --> 00:13:56,957 Pregnant? 422 00:13:56,991 --> 00:13:58,190 Holy crap. 423 00:13:58,225 --> 00:13:59,524 Leslie! 424 00:13:59,558 --> 00:14:01,223 Yeah. Well, what did you think? 425 00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:02,756 I thought you were getting a dog. 426 00:14:02,791 --> 00:14:03,990 Well, why did you go like this? 427 00:14:04,024 --> 00:14:05,384 That's the sign for petting a dog 428 00:14:05,391 --> 00:14:06,557 that's sitting on your lap. 429 00:14:06,592 --> 00:14:07,557 But pregnant? 430 00:14:07,592 --> 00:14:08,557 Wow. 431 00:14:08,591 --> 00:14:09,923 Oh, that's amazing. 432 00:14:09,958 --> 00:14:11,923 You know, Andy, I think we need to focus on the fact 433 00:14:11,958 --> 00:14:13,224 that we have lost our headliner. 434 00:14:13,258 --> 00:14:14,290 We are out of options. 435 00:14:14,325 --> 00:14:15,723 It's time for a Hail Mary. 436 00:14:17,158 --> 00:14:19,957 How are we gonna convince this guy to reunite Land Ho? 437 00:14:19,991 --> 00:14:22,290 Same way I got a perfect score on the S.A.T.s... 438 00:14:22,325 --> 00:14:23,923 broken Scantron machine. 439 00:14:23,958 --> 00:14:25,757 Okay, wait, Andy, that is not a good strategy. 440 00:14:25,791 --> 00:14:27,424 Okay, I will give him a brief explanation 441 00:14:27,458 --> 00:14:28,590 about the unity concert, 442 00:14:28,624 --> 00:14:31,090 and you stand by... 443 00:14:31,124 --> 00:14:32,090 Oh, God, I'm sorry. 444 00:14:34,191 --> 00:14:35,157 Hello? 445 00:14:35,191 --> 00:14:37,257 Scott Tanner. 446 00:14:37,291 --> 00:14:40,090 It's Scott Tanner. 447 00:14:40,124 --> 00:14:41,923 Hi. My name is Andy. 448 00:14:41,958 --> 00:14:44,623 And this barfing lady over here is Leslie. 449 00:14:44,657 --> 00:14:46,090 We just need ten minutes of your time. 450 00:14:46,124 --> 00:14:47,224 To do what? 451 00:14:47,258 --> 00:14:49,490 To convince you to reunite Land Ho. 452 00:14:49,525 --> 00:14:50,823 Listen, it means a lot to me 453 00:14:50,858 --> 00:14:52,823 that you guys loved the band, 454 00:14:52,858 --> 00:14:55,457 and I'm gonna tell you the exact same thing 455 00:14:55,491 --> 00:14:59,224 I've told everyone who's ever asked us to reunite: 456 00:14:59,258 --> 00:15:01,057 No. 457 00:15:01,091 --> 00:15:02,569 Listen, I know that you and the band 458 00:15:02,591 --> 00:15:04,390 aren't on the best of terms right now. 459 00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:06,057 But bringing people together 460 00:15:06,091 --> 00:15:08,390 is exactly what we want to talk to you about. 461 00:15:12,724 --> 00:15:14,203 Pull that. Hold it down on the bottom. 462 00:15:14,225 --> 00:15:15,590 I got it, yeah. 463 00:15:15,624 --> 00:15:18,124 Mr. Ron Dunn, 464 00:15:18,158 --> 00:15:20,290 I have something I'm very angry about, 465 00:15:20,325 --> 00:15:23,890 but other Ron, he's not helping me with it. 466 00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:25,257 Can you help? 467 00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:27,257 Well, I can tell by the indigo on your chiclets 468 00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:29,923 that you've been drinking blueberry wine. 469 00:15:29,958 --> 00:15:31,424 That's a good start. 470 00:15:31,458 --> 00:15:35,257 The Wamapoke called it mattapiqua. 471 00:15:35,291 --> 00:15:37,790 They believed it had mystical powers. 472 00:15:37,824 --> 00:15:39,957 Yeah, it also tastes like jelly. 473 00:15:39,991 --> 00:15:42,424 So what's got your goat there, friend? 474 00:15:42,458 --> 00:15:44,590 My parents, they had this lake house, 475 00:15:44,624 --> 00:15:46,556 and they sold it without telling me. 476 00:15:46,591 --> 00:15:48,990 And so I was like, "Why?" You know? 477 00:15:49,024 --> 00:15:51,656 I was like, "God, you guys!" 478 00:15:51,691 --> 00:15:53,324 Oh, you're hanging on to that anger 479 00:15:53,358 --> 00:15:55,990 for dear life, compadre. 480 00:15:56,024 --> 00:15:57,424 Let's role-play. 481 00:15:57,458 --> 00:15:59,424 Well, good night, everyone. 482 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,923 I'm going to go home and feel totally fine. 483 00:16:01,958 --> 00:16:03,257 Who am I kidding? 484 00:16:03,291 --> 00:16:05,130 I'm going to go home, put on a Macy Gray album, 485 00:16:05,158 --> 00:16:06,424 and cry in the mirror! 486 00:16:06,458 --> 00:16:07,424 Why are you bummed? 487 00:16:07,458 --> 00:16:08,923 Are you all blind? 488 00:16:08,958 --> 00:16:10,590 I want that job at Tom's Bistro. 489 00:16:10,624 --> 00:16:12,757 I've been trying to show you for the last five hours. 490 00:16:12,791 --> 00:16:14,424 Look, man, you know your stuff, 491 00:16:14,458 --> 00:16:16,457 but you're like a crazy volcano. 492 00:16:16,491 --> 00:16:18,390 You'd have to show me you can bring it down a notch. 493 00:16:18,425 --> 00:16:20,590 I'll bring it down 1,000 notches if I have to! 494 00:16:21,991 --> 00:16:24,623 This looks like it's gonna be a great concert. 495 00:16:24,657 --> 00:16:26,723 The band just does not play anymore. 496 00:16:26,758 --> 00:16:28,057 Well, I understand. 497 00:16:29,091 --> 00:16:30,790 Excuse me. I'm sorry. 498 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,424 My stomach is trying to murder me. 499 00:16:32,457 --> 00:16:33,890 Still drunk from last night? 500 00:16:33,924 --> 00:16:34,990 I've been there. 501 00:16:35,024 --> 00:16:36,456 You know, this town still loves you. 502 00:16:36,491 --> 00:16:38,757 I'm in a band myself actually... Mouse Rat... 503 00:16:38,791 --> 00:16:40,224 and we cover about five of your songs, 504 00:16:40,258 --> 00:16:41,224 and they just go nuts. 505 00:16:41,258 --> 00:16:43,556 Really? Which ones? 506 00:16:48,891 --> 00:16:49,857 Oh, yeah. 507 00:16:49,891 --> 00:16:51,790 Johnny Karate? 508 00:16:51,824 --> 00:16:53,057 I thought you said your name was Andy. 509 00:16:53,091 --> 00:16:54,224 Well, it is. 510 00:16:54,258 --> 00:16:56,523 I'm also a children's performer. 511 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:59,224 He played at Joey's birthday, and he's awesome. 512 00:16:59,258 --> 00:17:01,357 Sing Karate Chop Master. 513 00:17:01,392 --> 00:17:03,290 I'll do it as long as your dad sings along. 514 00:17:03,325 --> 00:17:04,423 Let's do it. 515 00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:05,656 It's easy. You'll pick it up. 516 00:17:13,624 --> 00:17:14,623 Scott, you sing. 517 00:17:17,025 --> 00:17:18,790 No. 518 00:17:18,824 --> 00:17:19,923 Just listen to me. 519 00:17:24,424 --> 00:17:25,590 Now your turn. 520 00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:28,090 Harmonies! Oh, my God! 521 00:17:32,457 --> 00:17:34,057 No. 522 00:17:34,091 --> 00:17:35,723 No, it's not... you didn't... 523 00:17:35,758 --> 00:17:36,857 I mean, just listen. 524 00:17:36,891 --> 00:17:38,024 Good evening. 525 00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,556 May I assist you with a wine tonight? 526 00:17:39,591 --> 00:17:41,057 Yeah, I'm having fish, 527 00:17:41,091 --> 00:17:44,057 so maybe a full-bodied... 528 00:17:44,091 --> 00:17:45,157 red? 529 00:17:45,191 --> 00:17:46,990 You know, sir, you might want to consider 530 00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:48,823 something white to go with your fish. 531 00:17:48,858 --> 00:17:51,490 No. Red. 532 00:17:51,524 --> 00:17:52,957 And bring some ice cubes. 533 00:17:52,991 --> 00:17:54,157 I like ice cubes in my red wine. 534 00:17:54,191 --> 00:17:55,657 I'll have a glass 535 00:17:55,691 --> 00:17:57,657 of your most expensive red wine 536 00:17:57,691 --> 00:18:00,490 mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine, 537 00:18:00,524 --> 00:18:01,790 served in a dog bowl. 538 00:18:01,824 --> 00:18:04,456 Silly straws all around, please. 539 00:18:04,491 --> 00:18:07,857 I'll be right back with my recommendations. 540 00:18:07,891 --> 00:18:09,224 Seems to be keeping it together. 541 00:18:09,258 --> 00:18:10,723 What kind of monster 542 00:18:10,758 --> 00:18:12,557 orders red with fish? 543 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:13,830 I know they're messing with me, 544 00:18:13,858 --> 00:18:16,257 and it's just a test, but have some decency. 545 00:18:18,191 --> 00:18:20,024 For you, sir, a light, crisp Pinot 546 00:18:20,058 --> 00:18:21,356 with just a hint of lemon 547 00:18:21,391 --> 00:18:23,890 to bring out the flavors in your fish. 548 00:18:23,925 --> 00:18:25,556 I brought you a bold Cabernet, 549 00:18:25,591 --> 00:18:28,224 which should still taste okay when watered down. 550 00:18:28,258 --> 00:18:31,057 And for you, madam, would you consider this rose? 551 00:18:31,091 --> 00:18:33,523 It's halfway between red and white. 552 00:18:33,558 --> 00:18:35,190 Thanks very much. 553 00:18:35,225 --> 00:18:36,957 Enjoy. 554 00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:39,224 I think I may have found my new sommelier. 555 00:18:39,258 --> 00:18:41,456 That was so embarrassing! 556 00:18:41,491 --> 00:18:43,790 We'll have to make sure the wine cellar at Tom's Bistro 557 00:18:43,824 --> 00:18:44,790 is soundproof. 558 00:18:45,824 --> 00:18:48,790 Hoy-hay! 559 00:18:48,824 --> 00:18:50,523 Oh! 560 00:18:51,558 --> 00:18:53,190 That was beautiful. 561 00:18:53,225 --> 00:18:55,523 You're surrendering to the earth mother. 562 00:18:55,558 --> 00:18:58,723 Now stare into the fire and picture your spirit animal. 563 00:18:58,758 --> 00:19:00,490 I don't know what my spirit animal is. 564 00:19:00,524 --> 00:19:01,990 Because it doesn't exist, 565 00:19:02,025 --> 00:19:04,757 because that's nonsense, because you're an adult. 566 00:19:06,292 --> 00:19:08,757 Baby snow owl. 567 00:19:08,791 --> 00:19:10,124 He's right. 568 00:19:10,158 --> 00:19:13,623 Our spirit animals connect us to the natural world. 569 00:19:13,658 --> 00:19:16,623 You need to remain open to their message. 570 00:19:16,658 --> 00:19:18,456 Watch. 571 00:19:23,624 --> 00:19:25,857 Welcome back, old friend. 572 00:19:25,891 --> 00:19:27,356 Whoa. 573 00:19:27,391 --> 00:19:30,690 If you really want to cleanse yourself of that anger, 574 00:19:30,724 --> 00:19:33,757 take that check and send it into the flames 575 00:19:33,791 --> 00:19:36,224 and up into the air with your screams. 576 00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:39,224 Do not burn that check. It is money. 577 00:19:39,258 --> 00:19:41,224 No. Ron's right, Ron. 578 00:19:46,991 --> 00:19:50,690 There, there, baby snow owl. 579 00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:51,890 You're safe now. 580 00:19:54,785 --> 00:19:57,649 This is him right here. 581 00:19:57,684 --> 00:19:59,483 I will also get out here and walk home. 582 00:19:59,517 --> 00:20:00,649 You sure? 583 00:20:00,684 --> 00:20:03,483 This thing runs on vegetable oil and bat guano. 584 00:20:03,517 --> 00:20:05,883 Actually cleans the air as it drives. 585 00:20:05,917 --> 00:20:07,583 Quite sure. Thank you. 586 00:20:10,218 --> 00:20:13,183 Hey, thank you 587 00:20:13,218 --> 00:20:15,150 for helping me with my anger. 588 00:20:15,184 --> 00:20:18,117 You've already emerged from your cocoon. 589 00:20:18,151 --> 00:20:19,783 Now the question is: 590 00:20:19,817 --> 00:20:21,983 Will you fly? 591 00:20:29,884 --> 00:20:31,183 Yeah, I don't feel any better. 592 00:20:31,217 --> 00:20:32,349 I'm still angry. 593 00:20:32,384 --> 00:20:34,017 Damn it. 594 00:20:34,051 --> 00:20:35,683 I don't know why this lake house thing 595 00:20:35,717 --> 00:20:37,349 is driving me so crazy. 596 00:20:37,384 --> 00:20:41,017 I'm sorry we couldn't help you work through your problems. 597 00:20:41,051 --> 00:20:43,183 Now, if you'll excuse me, I got a lady, 598 00:20:43,217 --> 00:20:46,750 two little girls, and an infant waiting for me. 599 00:20:46,784 --> 00:20:49,083 It's always nice to see the kids at the end of a long day. 600 00:20:49,118 --> 00:20:51,783 Really puts things in perspective. 601 00:20:56,151 --> 00:20:58,449 Oh, my God, Ben. I have so much to tell you. 602 00:20:58,484 --> 00:21:01,650 We got Land Ho to play the unity concert. 603 00:21:01,684 --> 00:21:03,150 Whoa. What happened to you? 604 00:21:03,183 --> 00:21:04,816 It doesn't matter. 605 00:21:04,851 --> 00:21:07,649 I thought I was upset because my parents are insane. 606 00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:10,816 But Ron kind of just showed me the real reason. 607 00:21:10,851 --> 00:21:13,483 I have so many childhood memories at that lake house 608 00:21:13,517 --> 00:21:14,983 that, in the back of my mind, 609 00:21:15,018 --> 00:21:17,650 I always pictured taking my kids... 610 00:21:17,684 --> 00:21:19,716 or taking our kids there. 611 00:21:19,751 --> 00:21:21,816 I want to start our family. 612 00:21:21,851 --> 00:21:23,483 I mean, I know things are crazy, 613 00:21:23,517 --> 00:21:25,683 but there's no good time, 614 00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:28,117 and I want to do it now. 615 00:21:28,151 --> 00:21:32,349 Well, buddy, I got some good news for you. 616 00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:40,295 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com