1 00:00:04,368 --> 00:00:05,821 I mean, there were rumors that they were gonna 2 00:00:05,835 --> 00:00:08,608 announce it next month, but they must have gotten impatient. Okay. 3 00:00:08,630 --> 00:00:10,360 Whatever they say, we need to come up 4 00:00:10,380 --> 00:00:14,579 with 10,000 possible responses to 10,000 possible scenarios. 5 00:00:14,602 --> 00:00:15,727 Okay, just to remind you, 6 00:00:15,735 --> 00:00:17,602 I don't work for the National Park Service. 7 00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:19,172 Yeah, yeah, yeah. How are those scenarios coming? 8 00:00:19,195 --> 00:00:22,469 Okay, look. Before we go in there, you need to know something. 9 00:00:22,507 --> 00:00:24,108 - He's here. - Who's here? 10 00:00:24,119 --> 00:00:25,868 The guy whose name you forbid me from saying 11 00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:27,462 out loud because it fills you with rage. 12 00:00:28,314 --> 00:00:29,564 Look, I don't know who he's working for, 13 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,159 but I guess he's part of one of the bidding groups. 14 00:00:31,174 --> 00:00:32,643 Are you gonna be able to be civil in there? 15 00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,041 I'm perfectly civil. 16 00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:35,882 He's the stupid garbage-head doo-doo face. 17 00:00:35,897 --> 00:00:37,014 Perfect. 18 00:00:37,039 --> 00:00:38,250 Thank you all for coming. 19 00:00:38,265 --> 00:00:41,101 I am Trevor Nelson, legal council to the Newport family. 20 00:00:41,126 --> 00:00:45,220 The Newport family trust intends to sell a 25-square mile parcel 21 00:00:45,235 --> 00:00:49,169 of pristine, undeveloped land containing Lake Eagleton 22 00:00:49,187 --> 00:00:51,164 and the Southern Indiana foothills. 23 00:00:51,179 --> 00:00:54,238 Why now? The Newports have owned this land for 100 years. 24 00:00:54,253 --> 00:00:56,801 Thanks to the recent economic boom in Pawnee, 25 00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:58,623 real estate prices are at an all time high. 26 00:00:58,638 --> 00:01:01,084 And in the words of Jessica Wicks-Newport, 27 00:01:01,109 --> 00:01:03,269 heir to the entire Newport fortune, quote, 28 00:01:03,294 --> 00:01:06,560 "It's time to trade those dumb, old trees for a butt load of cash." 29 00:01:06,592 --> 00:01:09,123 It is. It truly is. 30 00:01:09,139 --> 00:01:11,967 This land is begging to be a new national park. 31 00:01:11,983 --> 00:01:13,496 And it's in my own backyard. 32 00:01:13,510 --> 00:01:14,789 This could be my crowning achievement. 33 00:01:14,797 --> 00:01:16,024 I could retire. 34 00:01:16,053 --> 00:01:17,253 I mean, I wouldn't. 35 00:01:17,264 --> 00:01:20,469 I'm gonna work until I'm 100 and then cut back to four days a week. 36 00:01:20,479 --> 00:01:23,776 Oh, God, I'm already so bored thinking about that one day off. 37 00:01:23,799 --> 00:01:25,643 Maybe I'll go to law school or something. 38 00:01:25,676 --> 00:01:26,676 We will select the finalists 39 00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:30,250 from a set of initial sealed bids due at 5:00 P.M. tomorrow. 40 00:01:30,265 --> 00:01:31,231 Good luck. 41 00:01:31,251 --> 00:01:32,949 - Okay. - Cool. 42 00:01:32,964 --> 00:01:33,906 - There he is. - What? 43 00:01:33,921 --> 00:01:34,953 - Okay. - He's here? 44 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:36,687 - He is coming over. - I don't want to talk to him. 45 00:01:36,702 --> 00:01:37,949 I should hide. No, he should hide. 46 00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:39,088 He should run. He should run away. 47 00:01:39,103 --> 00:01:41,469 He should hide his stupid face. He shouldn't be— 48 00:01:44,945 --> 00:01:46,960 Hello, Ms. Knope. 49 00:01:46,988 --> 00:01:50,217 Hello, former strange person I used to friend. 50 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:52,966 You're looking very... 51 00:01:53,583 --> 00:01:55,038 Ron-like. 52 00:01:55,722 --> 00:01:58,373 - You have your same hair. - No, I don't. I have bangs now. 53 00:01:58,395 --> 00:02:00,970 I've never known what bangs are, and I don't intend to learn. 54 00:02:00,977 --> 00:02:02,395 Well, maybe you should! 55 00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:05,082 I left the parks department two years ago. 56 00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:06,571 Now I work in the private sector, 57 00:02:06,587 --> 00:02:08,899 running my own building and development company. 58 00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:12,244 It's called Very Good Building & Development Company. 59 00:02:12,259 --> 00:02:16,111 I wanted to convey the quality of our work without seeming flashy. 60 00:02:16,125 --> 00:02:19,122 So your company is involved with one of the bidders? 61 00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:21,771 Hell yeah, pimp! 62 00:02:21,786 --> 00:02:23,454 He's on team Gryzzl now. 63 00:02:23,473 --> 00:02:27,481 We, uh, hired his company to help plan and build our new Gryzzl campus. 64 00:02:27,496 --> 00:02:29,497 Right here in town. Oh, and that land? 65 00:02:29,512 --> 00:02:31,113 Oh, my gosh. It's perfect. 66 00:02:31,132 --> 00:02:36,678 - The trees and rocks and sky. - Yes, the land has good sky. 67 00:02:36,709 --> 00:02:38,972 This guy! He's so far out. 68 00:02:38,980 --> 00:02:40,757 So norm-core. 69 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:45,151 You know that the National Park System deserves this land. 70 00:02:45,174 --> 00:02:46,782 Why are you trying to screw me? 71 00:02:46,789 --> 00:02:48,898 This is like Morning Star all over again. 72 00:02:48,906 --> 00:02:50,739 This is nothing like Morning Star. 73 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,650 And that was two years ago. 74 00:02:52,657 --> 00:02:56,389 Well, you don't know who you're dealing with. I directly oversee 1,200 people. 75 00:02:56,404 --> 00:02:59,730 I have a staff of creative geniuses 76 00:02:59,745 --> 00:03:03,588 that will not stop working until we win this bid. 77 00:03:03,596 --> 00:03:04,354 Leslie? 78 00:03:04,373 --> 00:03:05,856 I-I couldn't find that file you wanted, 79 00:03:05,872 --> 00:03:09,606 but I did find a file called bird census, 1980. 80 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:12,248 - And... it's empty. - Get out of here, Ed! 81 00:03:12,263 --> 00:03:13,430 - I fired you. - Right. 82 00:03:13,449 --> 00:03:16,153 If anyone wants to hang, I will be at Subway. 83 00:03:19,294 --> 00:03:20,461 He's very stupid. 84 00:03:21,970 --> 00:03:28,044 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 85 00:03:30,591 --> 00:03:40,591 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 86 00:03:41,842 --> 00:03:44,303 Babe? Just dropped off Leslie's triplets with her mom. 87 00:03:44,318 --> 00:03:45,639 All three of 'em. Nailed it. 88 00:03:45,669 --> 00:03:47,319 Look what she gave us. Slow cooker. 89 00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:48,488 - Great. - Yeah. 90 00:03:48,511 --> 00:03:50,996 Um, so hurry up and get ready. The gala starts in an hour. 91 00:03:51,012 --> 00:03:53,301 And don't forget, tomorrow we have to go to that guy's office 92 00:03:53,309 --> 00:03:54,724 to sign the renter's insurance forms. 93 00:03:54,746 --> 00:03:56,210 Get ready. Go. 94 00:03:56,230 --> 00:03:57,902 Everything is going great. 95 00:03:57,928 --> 00:04:00,363 April's kicking ass at her National Parks job. 96 00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:03,843 Uh, I work there part time. And I have my own TV show. 97 00:04:04,704 --> 00:04:09,105 Welcome back to the Johnny Karate Super Awesome Musical Explosion Show. 98 00:04:11,179 --> 00:04:13,453 Morning, Johnny. I have something for ya. 99 00:04:13,479 --> 00:04:15,924 It's Mailman Barry. Morning, Barry. 100 00:04:15,950 --> 00:04:18,053 - I have something for you. - Andy, no. 101 00:04:18,076 --> 00:04:20,742 - Ninjas attack! - No. Oh God. Andy! 102 00:04:20,758 --> 00:04:22,984 Oh! That's my crotch. 103 00:04:22,998 --> 00:04:25,631 Okay, guys. Three more kicks a piece. 104 00:04:26,342 --> 00:04:28,094 Uh, Jessica? Hi. 105 00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:29,619 I'm glad I caught you before you left. 106 00:04:29,634 --> 00:04:31,760 Just between you and me, what do you think your land 107 00:04:31,783 --> 00:04:33,314 might sell for tomorrow? 108 00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:37,746 Trevor says it'll probably be around $90 million. 109 00:04:37,762 --> 00:04:39,622 Ah ha! Woo! 110 00:04:39,638 --> 00:04:41,716 - Oh. - Oh—oh, wow. 111 00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:45,076 I know. I am just—I am so happy for me. 112 00:04:45,099 --> 00:04:48,467 Would you ever consider giving the federal government a discount? 113 00:04:48,490 --> 00:04:51,498 For a very good cause? A national park. 114 00:04:51,506 --> 00:04:53,374 Oh, Leslie. I have always liked you. 115 00:04:53,397 --> 00:04:54,741 Yeah, no, you haven't, though. 116 00:04:54,748 --> 00:04:59,273 But I also like money. And money pays for my lifestyle. 117 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:01,851 Leslie doesn't pay for my lifestyle, money does. 118 00:05:01,873 --> 00:05:04,577 So between money and Leslie... 119 00:05:04,622 --> 00:05:06,950 Uhh-uh 120 00:05:06,983 --> 00:05:10,296 - You see the bind that I'm in? - Yeah, it's a tough one. 121 00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:11,389 Well, thank you, Jessica. 122 00:05:11,413 --> 00:05:14,311 You did and said exactly what I thought you were gonna do and say. 123 00:05:14,338 --> 00:05:17,305 - And that's oddly comforting. - Thank you, sweetie. 124 00:05:18,284 --> 00:05:20,706 Who is Tom Haverford? 125 00:05:20,731 --> 00:05:23,997 He's a mentor, a lover, a hero. 126 00:05:24,027 --> 00:05:26,980 But who is my hero? Simple. 127 00:05:27,003 --> 00:05:29,104 It's me. Five years from now. 128 00:05:29,115 --> 00:05:32,147 Okay, I really only need a correct spelling of your last name. 129 00:05:32,173 --> 00:05:36,470 You are looking at one of Indiana Business monthly's 35 under 35. 130 00:05:36,477 --> 00:05:38,204 I own Pawnee's hottest restaurant, 131 00:05:38,218 --> 00:05:41,323 two fast-casual eateries, and the Tommy Chopper. 132 00:05:41,739 --> 00:05:45,185 We serve chopped salads out of a decommissioned military helicopter. 133 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,950 I'm a mogul now. 134 00:05:46,989 --> 00:05:47,935 Hey, Tom? 135 00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:50,081 Ben Wyatt, city manager of Pawnee. 136 00:05:50,096 --> 00:05:51,479 Chamber of Commerce asked me to introduce him 137 00:05:51,494 --> 00:05:53,745 at a very fancy black tie gala tonight. 138 00:05:53,752 --> 00:05:57,554 One of the many area big wigs who comes to me for life advice, fashion tips. 139 00:05:57,569 --> 00:05:59,444 Uh, you get it. Write this all down. 140 00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:02,346 So for the introduction, I'd love it if you could just keep it brief. 141 00:06:02,357 --> 00:06:04,591 Like, stick to my fiscal accomplishments. 142 00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:07,560 Oh, wanna wake me up when you're done boring us to death? 143 00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:08,962 Am I right, Janet? 144 00:06:10,342 --> 00:06:12,475 Write down that I'm funny. 145 00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:16,359 Benji? Relax, come on. When's Tommy ever let you down? 146 00:06:16,390 --> 00:06:17,633 Constantly. 147 00:06:17,672 --> 00:06:20,929 I'm being honored at a gala tonight because I'm in charge 148 00:06:20,952 --> 00:06:23,680 of the Pawnee bicentennial celebration. 149 00:06:23,688 --> 00:06:25,689 It's my biggest project since ice town. 150 00:06:25,715 --> 00:06:29,418 So it really means a lot that I'm being recognized as a city leader, 151 00:06:29,434 --> 00:06:32,694 instead of being yelled at and pelted with things. 152 00:06:33,943 --> 00:06:35,760 Wait, you don't think this is all an elaborate setup 153 00:06:35,768 --> 00:06:37,863 to pelt me with things, do you? 154 00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:41,424 It takes like eight hours to cook something in this thing. 155 00:06:41,455 --> 00:06:43,396 I guess I could pick up a brisket tomorrow 156 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,133 and start it for dinner Thursday. 157 00:06:45,148 --> 00:06:48,421 Oh, Thursday's no good. I have production meetings all day. 158 00:06:48,437 --> 00:06:50,655 Then we've got dinner with Joe and Donna on Friday. 159 00:06:50,672 --> 00:06:52,422 Hey, you know, Sunday. 160 00:06:52,430 --> 00:06:55,137 We can go to the farmer's market, put the brisket in the slow cooker, 161 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,533 get a movie on pay per view. 162 00:06:56,545 --> 00:06:58,846 The new Jason Bourne movie's supposed to be pretty funny. 163 00:07:00,513 --> 00:07:01,888 Andy? 164 00:07:02,233 --> 00:07:03,671 We're planning our whole week. 165 00:07:03,686 --> 00:07:06,170 Like old people. We used to be spontaneous and weird. 166 00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:09,057 We used to eat cereal out of frisbees because we didn't have any bowls. 167 00:07:09,065 --> 00:07:10,926 You once broke a rib trying to wrestle one of those 168 00:07:10,933 --> 00:07:13,246 - inflatable floppy guys at a car dealership. - I won. 169 00:07:13,261 --> 00:07:16,253 Now you sprained your shoulder trying to clean out the stupid gutter. 170 00:07:16,285 --> 00:07:19,098 You even have a job. We have a bank account! 171 00:07:19,121 --> 00:07:20,106 That's it. 172 00:07:20,121 --> 00:07:22,606 We've held out as long as we could, but it finally happened. 173 00:07:22,637 --> 00:07:26,020 We're boring. We're boring people who will bore each other by being boring. 174 00:07:26,043 --> 00:07:28,809 No! We are still fun. I'm gonna prove it to you. 175 00:07:28,832 --> 00:07:33,199 Tonight at the gala, we are gonna do something spontaneous and weird. 176 00:07:33,213 --> 00:07:34,724 Okay. 177 00:07:37,128 --> 00:07:38,877 Stop taunting me. 178 00:07:39,523 --> 00:07:40,843 Get on the phone to Washington. 179 00:07:40,858 --> 00:07:42,600 Call in every favor that we have. 180 00:07:42,607 --> 00:07:44,341 Dave, put Missouri on the back burner. 181 00:07:44,356 --> 00:07:45,568 This is top priority. 182 00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:48,464 You all have 36 hours to find me $90 million. 183 00:07:48,488 --> 00:07:49,386 Go! 184 00:07:49,401 --> 00:07:51,363 Whoa, $90 million? 185 00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:53,725 Well, I only have $2 million in the discretionary fund 186 00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:56,959 and I've already used some of it to make Thomas Jefferson sexier 187 00:07:56,975 --> 00:07:59,185 in those Mount Rushmore promotions. 188 00:07:59,209 --> 00:08:01,051 Which, by the way, attendance has been up. 189 00:08:01,066 --> 00:08:02,160 That's not a coincidence. 190 00:08:02,167 --> 00:08:04,676 Pawnee's rich and famous will all be here tonight. 191 00:08:04,690 --> 00:08:07,039 - Maybe you start there. - That is a very smart idea. 192 00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:09,854 And that tuxedo makes you look like a sexy orchestra conductor. 193 00:08:09,877 --> 00:08:11,330 - Here, wave this pen around. - Focus. 194 00:08:11,346 --> 00:08:13,518 Fine. Let's go get that park. 195 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:16,205 That park is my dream. I'm not gonna let it slip away. 196 00:08:16,221 --> 00:08:18,664 Who cares if Gryzzl and Ron have more money? 197 00:08:18,687 --> 00:08:21,081 I have the most valuable currency in America. 198 00:08:21,096 --> 00:08:25,586 A blind, stubborn belief that what I am doing is 100% right. 199 00:08:28,922 --> 00:08:31,349 Ken Hotate. Great bow tie, is that new? 200 00:08:31,364 --> 00:08:33,824 Why, yes it is. My son sells them on Etsy. 201 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,949 He is a huge disappointment. 202 00:08:35,965 --> 00:08:38,951 Oh, well. Now that we're chatting, the National Park Service 203 00:08:38,969 --> 00:08:41,726 is looking to buy the Newport land. 204 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,522 But we're a little short on funds. 205 00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,875 - How short? - $88 million. 206 00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:49,398 What do you say you put some of that casino money to good use? 207 00:08:49,413 --> 00:08:51,992 You know, we have been considering opening a second resort. 208 00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:53,537 No, it would be a donation. 209 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:55,037 The government would keep the land. 210 00:08:55,059 --> 00:08:57,278 So you would like the Wamapoke people to pay 211 00:08:57,293 --> 00:09:00,653 the federal government millions of dollars to buy land 212 00:09:00,668 --> 00:09:03,559 that was stolen from us by the federal government? 213 00:09:03,574 --> 00:09:05,481 And we don't even get to keep the land? 214 00:09:05,504 --> 00:09:08,129 Well, when you put it like that, I see the irony. 215 00:09:08,169 --> 00:09:10,103 So are you in? No? 216 00:09:10,122 --> 00:09:12,966 What if I buy some of your disappointing son's bolo ties? Damn it. 217 00:09:13,456 --> 00:09:15,034 Hey, check it out. I'm so crazy and spontaneous, 218 00:09:15,042 --> 00:09:16,511 I don't even need this sling anymore. 219 00:09:16,532 --> 00:09:18,026 - Yes. - Pa-dow. 220 00:09:18,053 --> 00:09:20,641 Oh! Oh, did you hear that pop? 221 00:09:20,656 --> 00:09:21,876 Could you hear that? 222 00:09:21,907 --> 00:09:24,610 - You wanna do shots? - Yeah, I'd love to do a shot. 223 00:09:24,637 --> 00:09:26,537 'Cause wine makes me sleepy now. 224 00:09:26,572 --> 00:09:28,704 This is gonna be fun. What do you want to do first? 225 00:09:29,215 --> 00:09:32,606 I dare you to eat this entire jug of olives. 226 00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:33,834 Done! 227 00:09:34,822 --> 00:09:36,415 - What are you doing? - I'mma take a Zantac. 228 00:09:36,423 --> 00:09:37,697 All that salt will give me heartburn. 229 00:09:37,730 --> 00:09:39,098 Oh, God. You ruined it. 230 00:09:39,113 --> 00:09:41,019 We—we have to figure something else out. 231 00:09:41,035 --> 00:09:42,426 Should I still take the Zantac? 232 00:09:42,441 --> 00:09:44,797 Yeah, you always feel better when you do. 233 00:09:45,414 --> 00:09:47,274 Oh, my God, I hate us! 234 00:09:47,305 --> 00:09:48,579 Let's go. 235 00:09:48,617 --> 00:09:51,734 Now, I know all of you are off doing your own things 236 00:09:51,749 --> 00:09:54,000 and we don't see each other as much as we used to, 237 00:09:54,014 --> 00:09:56,548 but I need my old team back for one last mission. 238 00:09:56,555 --> 00:09:59,785 So hands in. Defeat Ron on three. 239 00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:01,573 - One, two, three! - Ooh. 240 00:10:01,589 --> 00:10:04,395 Actually, Ron promised me I could build a restaurant 241 00:10:04,418 --> 00:10:08,548 on the new Gryzzl campus so I'm kind of totally on Ron's side. 242 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:11,587 Okay. Tom's dead to me. Donna? Waiting for your hand. 243 00:10:11,602 --> 00:10:15,665 Yeah, Ron hired Regal Meagle realty to broker the deal. 244 00:10:15,673 --> 00:10:18,321 And I'm gonna need the money for my wedding. 245 00:10:19,163 --> 00:10:21,218 Shia LaBeouf-designed wedding dresses do not come cheap. 246 00:10:21,250 --> 00:10:22,645 Oh, my God, you're getting married? 247 00:10:22,652 --> 00:10:25,341 That's amazing. And you didn't tell me earlier? 248 00:10:25,349 --> 00:10:26,459 How could you? 249 00:10:26,473 --> 00:10:27,864 Joe popped the question a few days ago. 250 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,960 I didn't post anything on Gryzzlfeed 'cause I wanted to tell you in person. 251 00:10:30,976 --> 00:10:34,440 This is very beautiful. And I'm furious at you. 252 00:10:34,456 --> 00:10:35,748 How are you? How are the kids? 253 00:10:35,764 --> 00:10:38,721 Oh, they're great. You know. They're trying to destroy us. There's three of them. 254 00:10:38,736 --> 00:10:39,970 It's insane. But they're great. 255 00:10:39,989 --> 00:10:42,559 We gotta run, Les. Sorry for totally crushing it. 256 00:10:42,590 --> 00:10:45,111 And you in the process. Later. 257 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:49,711 Well, never fear, because Terry is here. 258 00:10:49,718 --> 00:10:51,362 Yes, I go by Terry now. 259 00:10:51,369 --> 00:10:52,876 Because there was a guy at National Parks, 260 00:10:52,898 --> 00:10:54,443 he was already named Larry. 261 00:10:54,451 --> 00:10:56,685 So they suggested I go by Terry. 262 00:10:56,712 --> 00:11:00,532 And then I said my real name is Gary and they said, who cares. 263 00:11:00,575 --> 00:11:03,208 So. It's just a fun group. 264 00:11:03,223 --> 00:11:07,723 Good evening, and welcome to the Pawnee Bicentennial Gala. 265 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:14,723 Not long ago, this town was barely on the map. 266 00:11:14,753 --> 00:11:18,733 Unless you were talking about a map of the cities with the most obese pets. 267 00:11:19,774 --> 00:11:25,570 But then, one great man came along and he lifted all of us up. 268 00:11:31,181 --> 00:11:33,845 And that man was me. Tom Haverford. 269 00:11:33,852 --> 00:11:36,853 Owner and proprietor of the effortlessly chic, 270 00:11:36,860 --> 00:11:40,509 celebrity-packed Italian restaurant, Tom's Bistro. 271 00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:43,519 - And several other establishments. - Ron? How could you? 272 00:11:43,534 --> 00:11:46,688 I simply took a skewer for one shrimp and added many shrimp to it. 273 00:11:46,722 --> 00:11:48,277 They're long enough for five or six. 274 00:11:48,293 --> 00:11:50,910 First you try to steal my park and now you steal my team? 275 00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:52,410 I didn't steal them. 276 00:11:52,437 --> 00:11:57,058 They're independent people who have moved onto better things, just like you did. 277 00:11:57,073 --> 00:12:00,474 Bacon-wrapped shrimp. I fit seven on this one. 278 00:12:00,481 --> 00:12:01,781 It's a masterpiece. 279 00:12:01,809 --> 00:12:03,349 Why don't you shove them all in your dumb mouth 280 00:12:03,357 --> 00:12:06,479 and then when I turn around, you can stab me in the back with the skewer? 281 00:12:06,497 --> 00:12:08,231 People come up to me and they say things like, 282 00:12:08,238 --> 00:12:11,020 Tom, given all that you've accomplished, 283 00:12:11,059 --> 00:12:13,247 is it hard to stay humble? 284 00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:16,811 And I say... not for me. 285 00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:19,095 I'm pretty amazing at being humble. 286 00:12:19,673 --> 00:12:22,341 But, enough about me. 287 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,157 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome 288 00:12:24,181 --> 00:12:28,142 Pawnee's man of the year 2017, Mr. Ben Wyatt. 289 00:12:30,857 --> 00:12:33,092 Thank you. Thanks. 290 00:12:33,107 --> 00:12:38,154 And thank you to Tom for that moving tribute to you. 291 00:12:38,177 --> 00:12:41,154 And thank you to the boys and girls club for the incredibly 292 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,749 lifelike paper-mache statue. 293 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,323 You know, when I first moved here— 294 00:12:46,938 --> 00:12:50,259 Oh, uh. I guess it's time for cake? 295 00:12:50,274 --> 00:12:53,735 Okay. Great. Perfect. Timing. 296 00:12:53,766 --> 00:12:55,368 Oh, how about this? 297 00:12:55,382 --> 00:12:59,735 We shut off the lights, turn 'em back on, everybody's fancy jewelry is missing. 298 00:12:59,758 --> 00:13:03,628 Meanwhile, you and I are already on a boat to the airport. 299 00:13:03,639 --> 00:13:05,273 Let's put stink bombs in all the vents. 300 00:13:05,288 --> 00:13:06,933 - Yes. - Wait, no. 301 00:13:06,949 --> 00:13:11,436 I forgot. I got rid of all the stink bombs before you babysat Leslie's kids. 302 00:13:11,471 --> 00:13:13,546 Being responsible adults sucks butts. 303 00:13:13,562 --> 00:13:15,367 Butts, that's it. I'll streak across the stage. 304 00:13:15,382 --> 00:13:16,523 Yes, I love it. 305 00:13:16,542 --> 00:13:18,871 I'm gonna get naked. I'm gonna get up there. 306 00:13:18,887 --> 00:13:20,555 Everyone is gonna see my weiner. 307 00:13:20,573 --> 00:13:22,107 I mean, you've seen it. You know how dumb it looks. 308 00:13:22,141 --> 00:13:23,944 - Uh-huh. - Perfect plan. 309 00:13:24,829 --> 00:13:25,896 Why are you even here? 310 00:13:25,913 --> 00:13:27,414 What have you ever done for this city? 311 00:13:27,448 --> 00:13:30,948 My company has stimulated Pawnee's economy. 312 00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:33,899 You're just still upset about Morning Star. 313 00:13:34,553 --> 00:13:36,570 I told you to never say that word to me. 314 00:13:36,593 --> 00:13:38,421 No one should ever say that word out loud. 315 00:13:38,437 --> 00:13:40,104 It's like Voldemort. Or Ron. 316 00:13:40,122 --> 00:13:42,338 You know what? You don't deserve that candle. 317 00:13:42,370 --> 00:13:43,566 - Gimme that candle! - Let go. Let go. 318 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,127 This candle's mine. No, give me this candle. 319 00:13:45,142 --> 00:13:46,529 You steal my team, I steal your candle. 320 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:47,865 - I stole nothing. - Neh. 321 00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:49,379 - Guys? - I want it! - Leslie. 322 00:13:49,392 --> 00:13:50,728 Stop! 323 00:13:55,116 --> 00:13:57,054 It's okay. Everything's fine. 324 00:13:57,073 --> 00:13:58,792 Just wheel out the backup cake. 325 00:13:58,815 --> 00:14:00,659 There is no backup cake. 326 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:02,618 Who doesn't bake a backup cake? 327 00:14:03,137 --> 00:14:04,972 Okay, well that seals it. 328 00:14:04,999 --> 00:14:07,901 Even Leslie is crazier than we are. 329 00:14:08,317 --> 00:14:10,432 They're still gonna serve that cake, right? 330 00:14:12,507 --> 00:14:16,155 And then I said, uh, you might want to check with the penguin. 331 00:14:18,717 --> 00:14:19,460 I get it. 332 00:14:19,475 --> 00:14:22,217 You Gryzzl guys are a real hoot. 333 00:14:22,256 --> 00:14:25,003 - And you have so much money. - Thanks, Jessie. 334 00:14:25,034 --> 00:14:28,116 And, hey, enjoy that new prototype Gryzzl tablet, huh? 335 00:14:28,131 --> 00:14:29,431 I will. I just love it. 336 00:14:29,457 --> 00:14:31,794 Thank you, Jessica. I love you too. 337 00:14:31,811 --> 00:14:34,553 I love your skin. Give me your skin. 338 00:14:34,966 --> 00:14:37,408 - Oh. - There's still a couple bugs with the A.I. software. 339 00:14:37,423 --> 00:14:40,002 But, uh, maybe just turn it off before you go to sleep. 340 00:14:40,768 --> 00:14:41,947 All right, Donna. Let's hit it. 341 00:14:41,963 --> 00:14:43,465 - About to get some peddies. - Okay. 342 00:14:43,473 --> 00:14:45,259 Peddies on peddies on peddies. 343 00:14:45,267 --> 00:14:47,380 Okay. You're next. 344 00:14:50,083 --> 00:14:51,381 Hello, Ron. 345 00:14:51,404 --> 00:14:53,019 I just want you to know that I am not sorry 346 00:14:53,030 --> 00:14:54,664 that I pushed you into a giant cake. 347 00:14:54,690 --> 00:14:58,596 Well, I am sorry. That I attended a public event. 348 00:14:58,620 --> 00:15:00,401 Yo, Ron? Come on, bud. 349 00:15:00,431 --> 00:15:03,693 We're gonna go play some video games and we want you to watch quietly. 350 00:15:13,378 --> 00:15:15,483 After we drop off the renter's insurance forms, 351 00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:16,962 we need to stop by the grocery store. 352 00:15:16,981 --> 00:15:18,736 And then we need to sign a suicide pact, 353 00:15:18,744 --> 00:15:20,064 because our lives are meaningless. 354 00:15:20,088 --> 00:15:22,314 Babe, we are not boring people. 355 00:15:22,345 --> 00:15:24,689 Would boring people get renter's insurance, 356 00:15:24,719 --> 00:15:26,610 even though it's not legally required? 357 00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:27,470 Where are we? 358 00:15:27,477 --> 00:15:30,079 I have never once been to this part of Pawnee. 359 00:15:30,094 --> 00:15:32,454 It's the creepy warehouse district. 360 00:15:32,484 --> 00:15:35,789 It's mostly just raccoons and old car batteries. 361 00:15:35,819 --> 00:15:37,928 Whoa, hang on. Pull over. 362 00:15:37,944 --> 00:15:39,288 Look at that. 363 00:15:44,122 --> 00:15:47,391 - This place is amazing. - Let's go in. 364 00:15:49,734 --> 00:15:51,555 What up, playa? 365 00:15:51,594 --> 00:15:54,313 Just wanted to apologize for my intro running long. 366 00:15:54,335 --> 00:15:57,039 But, uh, you know. When it comes to inspirational Will Smith quotes, 367 00:15:57,060 --> 00:15:58,030 how are you gonna stop at ten? 368 00:15:58,061 --> 00:16:00,584 You know, when the Chamber of Commerce asked you to introduce me, 369 00:16:00,607 --> 00:16:04,841 I was a little worried you would spend the entire time talking about yourself, 370 00:16:04,870 --> 00:16:07,784 which is exactly what you did. 371 00:16:07,806 --> 00:16:09,159 I'm sorry. 372 00:16:09,699 --> 00:16:12,519 Truth is, they didn't ask me to introduce you. 373 00:16:12,534 --> 00:16:13,735 I asked them if I could do it. 374 00:16:13,754 --> 00:16:17,340 I was gonna talk about how I owe you so much. 375 00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:20,553 How you stood by me through all my failures and I stood by you 376 00:16:20,568 --> 00:16:21,905 through all your terrible outfits. 377 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,897 But when I got up there, I got pretty emotional. 378 00:16:24,925 --> 00:16:29,662 To make it up to you, I'd like to read you the speech now. 379 00:16:29,691 --> 00:16:31,957 I've known a lot of ballers in my day. 380 00:16:31,972 --> 00:16:35,527 But no man balls harder than the man I'm about to bring up. 381 00:16:35,555 --> 00:16:38,267 He's kind, he's intelligent. 382 00:16:39,033 --> 00:16:42,502 He's a person I'm deeply proud to call my friend. 383 00:16:42,517 --> 00:16:46,314 Pretty good speech. I mean, it was, um... 384 00:16:46,349 --> 00:16:48,269 a little sappy, maybe. 385 00:16:50,379 --> 00:16:52,027 I think I liked it. 386 00:16:59,736 --> 00:17:01,674 Jessica, Mr. Nelson. 387 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,842 You are going to hear a lot of bids today. 388 00:17:03,850 --> 00:17:06,196 But this is the only one that matters. 389 00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:10,249 Is this a circle? 390 00:17:10,873 --> 00:17:13,193 Or, is it an "O"? 391 00:17:14,696 --> 00:17:16,899 Is Oprah involved in your bid? 392 00:17:16,906 --> 00:17:18,657 It's a zero. 393 00:17:18,672 --> 00:17:20,706 I bid zero dollars. 394 00:17:20,726 --> 00:17:23,429 I have to say, that's one of the lower one's we've seen. 395 00:17:23,444 --> 00:17:26,315 Pawnee is celebrating its 200th anniversary, 396 00:17:26,330 --> 00:17:28,908 and the Newport family has been here since day one. 397 00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:33,679 Through feast and famine, transformation, upheaval, celebration. 398 00:17:33,713 --> 00:17:36,558 The Newport family is part of the fabric of this town, 399 00:17:36,582 --> 00:17:38,137 and not always in a good way. 400 00:17:38,153 --> 00:17:40,373 Like when your hot fudge pipeline exploded. 401 00:17:40,389 --> 00:17:42,622 Oh, boo hoo. It all ran off into the lake. 402 00:17:42,638 --> 00:17:45,724 Well, yes. Admittedly, it did make the fish taste delicious, 403 00:17:45,747 --> 00:17:47,192 but it was a P.R. nightmare. 404 00:17:47,211 --> 00:17:48,934 My question is this. 405 00:17:48,944 --> 00:17:52,374 What do you want the Newport name to mean in the future? 406 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:56,942 If you donate this land and you let me turn it into a national park— 407 00:17:57,701 --> 00:18:00,770 the Newport National Park— 408 00:18:00,773 --> 00:18:04,078 your name will stand for something good. 409 00:18:04,105 --> 00:18:06,339 For generations to come. 410 00:18:06,350 --> 00:18:08,470 How much was her bid again? 411 00:18:08,495 --> 00:18:11,276 It was, uh... zero dollars. 412 00:18:11,308 --> 00:18:13,363 Oh. That's the part I don't like. 413 00:18:13,386 --> 00:18:16,370 Just keep me in the running. 414 00:18:16,401 --> 00:18:19,596 Give me a chance to prove to you how great this could be. 415 00:18:21,879 --> 00:18:26,186 Says here there are 12 closets, three bomb shelters, 416 00:18:26,201 --> 00:18:29,203 five dumb waiters, two and three eights baths. 417 00:18:29,222 --> 00:18:30,548 No kitchens. 418 00:18:30,563 --> 00:18:32,006 It's a fairly standard layout. 419 00:18:32,025 --> 00:18:34,064 Cool, is that a staircase to nowhere? 420 00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:36,017 Yes, it is. Good eye. 421 00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:37,513 What was this place? 422 00:18:37,552 --> 00:18:40,044 Remember the Pawnee doll head factory? 423 00:18:40,055 --> 00:18:41,938 - This was a doll head factory? - No. 424 00:18:41,953 --> 00:18:46,825 This was a holding cell for people who went insane on the assembly line. 425 00:18:47,734 --> 00:18:49,535 What's behind this door? 426 00:18:51,012 --> 00:18:52,160 Fire poll. 427 00:18:52,184 --> 00:18:54,218 So this place has had zero offers? 428 00:18:54,236 --> 00:18:56,799 People seem to be scared off 429 00:18:56,827 --> 00:18:59,214 on account of it being haunted... 430 00:19:00,361 --> 00:19:02,056 and disgusting. 431 00:19:02,096 --> 00:19:04,862 After 47 years living here, 432 00:19:04,887 --> 00:19:09,352 I decided to move to Orlando to be closer to Disney World. 433 00:19:10,194 --> 00:19:12,544 We are responsible adults. 434 00:19:12,567 --> 00:19:14,007 - You know what that means. - I know. 435 00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:18,754 We have money and we are going to buy the shit out of this house. 436 00:19:18,784 --> 00:19:20,043 - Seriously? - Yes. 437 00:19:20,083 --> 00:19:23,686 Who needs rental insurance? We're gonna live here. 438 00:19:30,826 --> 00:19:32,935 We now go live to the press conference. 439 00:19:32,966 --> 00:19:33,833 Good evening. 440 00:19:33,867 --> 00:19:35,634 I'm attorney Trevor Nelson with the law firm 441 00:19:35,649 --> 00:19:38,657 Fwar, Dips, Winshares, Gritt, Babip, Pecota, Vorp, and Eckstein. 442 00:19:38,672 --> 00:19:40,805 Legal counsel to the Newport family. 443 00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,771 Here to announce that the Newport family trust 444 00:19:42,786 --> 00:19:45,279 has narrowed the search to two final candidates. 445 00:19:45,315 --> 00:19:48,565 The Gryzzl Corporation and the National Park Service. 446 00:19:48,597 --> 00:19:51,097 Okay. I'm in the game. 447 00:19:51,124 --> 00:19:54,387 All I have to do is convince them that it's better taking 448 00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,824 no money than taking $90 million. 449 00:19:56,839 --> 00:19:59,496 Well, you did convince three unsuspecting toddlers 450 00:19:59,519 --> 00:20:01,980 that peas turn into cupcakes in their tummies. 451 00:20:02,007 --> 00:20:07,952 I started my career in Pawnee by turning a pit into a cool, little park. 452 00:20:07,978 --> 00:20:12,026 And now, I have the chance to give this town a massive, 453 00:20:12,049 --> 00:20:14,550 beautiful gift that they can use forever. 454 00:20:14,569 --> 00:20:16,436 In the words of Jason Bourne, 455 00:20:16,461 --> 00:20:19,789 "This is where it started for me, this is where it ends." 456 00:20:19,804 --> 00:20:23,914 Yeah, you know, I still think Kevin James was a weird choice for the reboot. 457 00:20:23,936 --> 00:20:26,662 Oh, I don't. I think he nailed it. 458 00:20:27,156 --> 00:20:29,656 So I'm thinking in addition to the Tom's Bistros, 459 00:20:29,670 --> 00:20:33,037 we have a hyper exclusive lounge area called Tommy's Lounge. 460 00:20:33,052 --> 00:20:35,389 Attention! This is war. 461 00:20:35,411 --> 00:20:38,581 You guys are going down. And that's all I wanted to say. 462 00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:40,959 Except Donna, Tom. Hey. 463 00:20:40,982 --> 00:20:43,208 I'm—I'm sorry I haven't kept in better touch with you recently. 464 00:20:43,223 --> 00:20:45,936 But I've just, you know, I'm a little preoccupied with my kids and my job. 465 00:20:45,961 --> 00:20:47,529 so it's really good seeing you both. 466 00:20:47,545 --> 00:20:49,615 And also, prepare for war. 467 00:20:49,645 --> 00:20:52,866 Because you chose the wrong side and we are gonna smoke you. 468 00:20:52,891 --> 00:20:56,579 And also, I made cookies. But Ron is not allowed to eat them. 469 00:20:56,613 --> 00:20:59,941 And they say prepare for war on them. 470 00:20:59,957 --> 00:21:03,097 But the "O" in the word for is a heart. 471 00:21:03,126 --> 00:21:04,362 And... 472 00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:09,476 I ate a lot of them on the way over here, because we're at war. 473 00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,174 - Hey, Tom. - Hey, man. 474 00:21:11,196 --> 00:21:12,777 - Buddy, good to see you. - How's it going? 475 00:21:12,791 --> 00:21:14,548 - It's pretty good. - Hey, Andy! 476 00:21:14,572 --> 00:21:15,775 Let's go. 477 00:21:16,152 --> 00:21:17,658 War. 478 00:21:23,442 --> 00:21:30,442 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 479 00:21:31,275 --> 00:21:41,275 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org