1
00:00:02,114 --> 00:00:04,451
No, no, no.

2
00:00:05,257 --> 00:00:06,949
Sorry, Ron, doors
are locked.

3
00:00:06,974 --> 00:00:09,214
We've taken your key cards
and your phones,

4
00:00:09,221 --> 00:00:12,761
and the automatic timer won't go
off until tomorrow at 8:00 a.m.

5
00:00:12,784 --> 00:00:13,815
You're trapped in there.

6
00:00:13,835 --> 00:00:17,342
We told security not to disturb
you under any circumstances.

7
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:19,605
And the phones and internet?
Oh, they've been disconnected.

8
00:00:19,630 --> 00:00:22,166
And I left a rusty
hacksaw on the table,

9
00:00:22,181 --> 00:00:24,814
so the first person who hacks
their face off gets release.

10
00:00:25,580 --> 00:00:27,173
That's not—what?
Is that true?

11
00:00:27,189 --> 00:00:30,001
Guys, this is insane, okay?
Let us out.

12
00:00:30,020 --> 00:00:32,221
Oh, my God, babe.
Game of Thrones is on tonight.

13
00:00:32,237 --> 00:00:33,529
It's the series finale.

14
00:00:33,551 --> 00:00:36,099
Khaleesi is marrying
Jack Sparrow.

15
00:00:36,114 --> 00:00:38,228
Oh, God, that show has really
gone off the rails.

16
00:00:38,251 --> 00:00:40,095
It makes sense
if you've read the books.

17
00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:42,356
Look, our baby monitor
is on the table.

18
00:00:42,371 --> 00:00:46,825
If you guys can talk this out and settle
your differences like grown-ups,

19
00:00:46,846 --> 00:00:49,638
turn it on, and I will come
to get you from my office.

20
00:00:49,663 --> 00:00:53,155
Otherwise, we will see you
at 8:00 a.m. Tomorrow morning.

21
00:00:53,171 --> 00:00:57,106
I am going to break out of here,
then I am going to snap you in half.

22
00:00:57,122 --> 00:00:58,385
Hey.

23
00:00:58,410 --> 00:01:00,142
This is not his fault, Swanson.

24
00:01:00,149 --> 00:01:02,592
Be a man,
and get your house in order.

25
00:01:02,617 --> 00:01:04,085
You too, Knope.

26
00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:07,365
Good luck, you guys. I really hope
you can work out your differences.

27
00:01:07,379 --> 00:01:09,758
Terry, look at me.

28
00:01:09,783 --> 00:01:11,869
Is this what you
want to do?

29
00:01:11,891 --> 00:01:14,199
Think very carefully, son.

30
00:01:15,383 --> 00:01:16,650
There you go.

31
00:01:16,670 --> 00:01:18,086
That's right, buddy.

32
00:01:18,110 --> 00:01:19,548
Come on.

33
00:01:19,563 --> 00:01:22,339
For once in your life,
do something right.

34
00:01:22,348 --> 00:01:23,950
Stop it, Terry.

35
00:01:23,968 --> 00:01:25,448
Both of you.
Come on.

36
00:01:25,471 --> 00:01:26,984
Damn it, Terry!

37
00:01:39,086 --> 00:01:47,086
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

38
00:01:47,581 --> 00:01:49,659
Okay, think.

39
00:01:49,667 --> 00:01:51,245
There must be a way
out of here.

40
00:01:51,260 --> 00:01:52,698
I don't think there is.

41
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:55,276
They installed these magnetic
locks two years ago.

42
00:01:55,284 --> 00:01:56,861
There's no way around them.

43
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:57,907
Yes, there is.

44
00:01:57,923 --> 00:02:00,103
I'll simply punch my fist
through a window.

45
00:02:00,125 --> 00:02:03,539
Ron, there's security wire in there.
You'll slice your arm open.

46
00:02:03,554 --> 00:02:07,648
I would rather bleed out than sit here
and talk about my feelings for ten hours.

47
00:02:07,671 --> 00:02:09,187
There is another way.

48
00:02:09,189 --> 00:02:12,327
We'll just wait a few minutes,
turn on this monitor,

49
00:02:12,344 --> 00:02:15,571
and then we'll tell Ben that
we talked it out and made up.

50
00:02:15,575 --> 00:02:18,591
I'll just tell them that
I apologized for...

51
00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:21,577
whatever, heroically
caring too much,

52
00:02:21,592 --> 00:02:24,592
and you admitted that you're a stubborn
butthead, and everything's fine now.

53
00:02:24,610 --> 00:02:26,856
Why do I have
to be stubborn?

54
00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:30,342
Why can't the problem have been that
I was reasonable and you were at fault?

55
00:02:30,349 --> 00:02:32,687
Because we want
them to believe us

56
00:02:32,702 --> 00:02:36,641
and not laugh really hard at a ridiculous
science fiction scenario.

57
00:02:36,664 --> 00:02:38,498
We are not saying
I was the problem.

58
00:02:38,516 --> 00:02:41,633
If we're gonna lie to them,
I will not let you lie to them.

59
00:02:41,649 --> 00:02:43,713
Fine! I'll tell them that
for the past three years,

60
00:02:43,728 --> 00:02:45,733
you've been a perfect
gentleman and scholar,

61
00:02:45,756 --> 00:02:48,954
and I am an insane weirdo who,
despite being the only reason

62
00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:51,022
we even had a friendship
to begin with,

63
00:02:51,044 --> 00:02:54,245
decided to ruin it out of
the blue for no good reason.

64
00:02:54,826 --> 00:02:56,360
That sounds good.
Let's go with that.

65
00:02:58,366 --> 00:03:00,700
- What are you doing?
- I destroyed the monitor!

66
00:03:00,719 --> 00:03:03,071
What if we have an emergency
and have to get out of here?

67
00:03:03,094 --> 00:03:05,672
I did not consider
that possibility!

68
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,150
Everything's different.

69
00:03:12,739 --> 00:03:16,153
I mean, the furniture,
the pictures.

70
00:03:16,585 --> 00:03:18,355
Craig changed everything.

71
00:03:18,371 --> 00:03:19,304
Did he?

72
00:03:19,322 --> 00:03:22,152
I tried not to notice anything
when I worked here.

73
00:03:22,167 --> 00:03:25,309
Or talk to anyone.
Or learn anyone's name.

74
00:03:25,323 --> 00:03:27,791
You, of all people,
should know that, Lauren.

75
00:03:28,363 --> 00:03:30,692
Look, we are gonna be here
for ten hours.

76
00:03:30,708 --> 00:03:33,458
We could either talk about our issues
and work through our problems,

77
00:03:33,465 --> 00:03:35,293
or we can just sit
here doing nothing.

78
00:03:35,309 --> 00:03:36,643
I choose "sit here."

79
00:03:36,658 --> 00:03:38,980
- Come on, Ron, why don't we just—
- Sit here.

80
00:03:39,005 --> 00:03:40,979
- Ron.
- Sit here.

81
00:03:42,488 --> 00:03:44,566
I bet I can make you talk.

82
00:03:44,573 --> 00:03:45,974
I'll take that bet

83
00:03:45,989 --> 00:03:48,052
at any odds, for any
amount of money,

84
00:03:48,067 --> 00:03:52,014
over any length of time stretching
from now into infinity.

85
00:03:52,868 --> 00:03:54,291
Talk to me. Talk to me.
Talk to me. Talk to me.

86
00:03:54,313 --> 00:03:56,611
Talk to me. Talk to me. Talk to me. Talk
to me. Talk to me. Talk. Talk. Talk.

87
00:03:58,643 --> 00:03:59,916
Talk to me!

88
00:03:59,941 --> 00:04:01,840
Drip. Drip.

89
00:04:01,865 --> 00:04:04,166
One word,
and this is over.

90
00:04:04,191 --> 00:04:06,722
I think wood is stupid,
and so does everybody else.

91
00:04:06,737 --> 00:04:09,410
You guys, Ron
loves plastic.

92
00:04:09,428 --> 00:04:11,233
Last chance, Ron.

93
00:04:11,255 --> 00:04:13,522
You want to talk? Huh?

94
00:04:15,377 --> 00:04:16,410
Aha!

95
00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:18,546
Jackpot.

96
00:04:18,873 --> 00:04:19,976
You know what
this is, Ron?

97
00:04:19,991 --> 00:04:23,865
This is a mix I made for
the summer Parks barbecue, 2007.

98
00:04:23,890 --> 00:04:26,884
I asked everyone in the Parks
Department to choose one song.

99
00:04:26,909 --> 00:04:30,188
You chose Buddy
by Willie Nelson,

100
00:04:30,213 --> 00:04:33,032
a fact I remember
because my mind

101
00:04:33,056 --> 00:04:35,293
is a steel trap
of friendship nuggets.

102
00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:38,052
But I am not going
to play your choice.

103
00:04:38,076 --> 00:04:39,678
I'm gonna play
Jerry's choice.

104
00:04:41,293 --> 00:04:43,065
Ooh, that's right.

105
00:04:43,090 --> 00:04:44,635
And I'm gonna sing along.

106
00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:47,886
And I'm gonna maintain eye
contact the whole time.

107
00:04:47,909 --> 00:04:50,130
And guess what.
I don't know the words.

108
00:05:03,847 --> 00:05:04,714
Whoo!

109
00:05:04,731 --> 00:05:06,777
Oh, I got it on repeat.
Come on, Ron.

110
00:05:06,792 --> 00:05:09,136
Do you want to hear it again,
or do you want to talk? No?

111
00:05:09,144 --> 00:05:10,456
Okay, next verse.

112
00:05:21,182 --> 00:05:24,097
I will speak with you
for three minutes.

113
00:05:24,113 --> 00:05:25,254
Great.

114
00:05:26,780 --> 00:05:28,233
So...

115
00:05:28,249 --> 00:05:29,803
what would you like
to talk about?

116
00:05:29,811 --> 00:05:31,887
Oh, come on, Ron. We were
friends for ten years.

117
00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:33,947
We were work proximity
associates.

118
00:05:33,972 --> 00:05:35,426
We were friends.

119
00:05:35,449 --> 00:05:36,629
And now we're not.

120
00:05:36,652 --> 00:05:40,129
And once again, it is up to me
to save our friendship,

121
00:05:40,151 --> 00:05:44,605
and I will do so using the most
powerful tool known to man:

122
00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:46,610
A well-organized chart.

123
00:05:48,443 --> 00:05:51,826
Three years ago, I accept
a job at National Parks.

124
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,982
You and I see each other less,
admittedly,

125
00:05:53,997 --> 00:05:56,749
due to my busy schedule
and your utter lack of interest

126
00:05:56,763 --> 00:05:58,451
in maintaining
adult friendships.

127
00:05:58,454 --> 00:06:00,539
Work proximity
associate-ships.

128
00:06:00,564 --> 00:06:03,744
Three months later, April comes
to work for me. We throw her a party.

129
00:06:03,752 --> 00:06:05,588
At her request,
the party's theme is

130
00:06:05,603 --> 00:06:08,219
"Zombie Teenage Biker Gang
Pizza Jamboree."

131
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:11,117
I remember. You made me
wear a leather jacket.

132
00:06:11,140 --> 00:06:14,498
That is the last time you and I see
each other for more than five minutes.

133
00:06:14,521 --> 00:06:16,805
Three months later,
you come and visit me

134
00:06:16,820 --> 00:06:20,282
at my office on the third floor
for the very first time.

135
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:23,265
One week later,
I return from a trip,

136
00:06:23,290 --> 00:06:26,681
and I find out you have quit
the Parks Department

137
00:06:26,696 --> 00:06:29,238
and you have started your
own building company

138
00:06:29,263 --> 00:06:31,316
without even bothering
to tell me.

139
00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:35,373
"Oh, well," I think to myself. "You
know, it was only a matter of time."

140
00:06:35,392 --> 00:06:39,588
And then, two months after
that, Morningstar—

141
00:06:39,979 --> 00:06:42,346
- the final twist of the knife.
- Oh, for God's sake.

142
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:46,700
I hear about Morningstar, and I calmly
saunter down to your office

143
00:06:46,723 --> 00:06:49,012
and attempt to have a rational
discussion with you about it.

144
00:06:49,037 --> 00:06:50,620
What the hell, Ron?

145
00:06:51,171 --> 00:06:55,046
You're building your stupid building
on the block next to Pawnee Commons?

146
00:06:55,069 --> 00:06:57,781
The park that I built
from scratch out of a pit?

147
00:06:57,806 --> 00:07:00,143
This building is gonna ruin
the views, you jerk.

148
00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:02,330
And you're gonna tear
all the houses down?

149
00:07:02,353 --> 00:07:05,174
- Yes.
- Ann lived there, Ron.

150
00:07:05,196 --> 00:07:08,352
That's Ann's old house. That's my
best friend's old house.

151
00:07:08,367 --> 00:07:11,625
That was the house where I put on my
wedding dress the night I got married.

152
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,680
That is the house where April
and Andy met for the first time.

153
00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:18,625
That is the house where Ann gave
me my first ever smoky eye look.

154
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,969
She hasn't lived there
for five years.

155
00:07:20,984 --> 00:07:22,133
That's not the point.

156
00:07:22,158 --> 00:07:24,643
This building is
a monstrosity.

157
00:07:24,666 --> 00:07:27,299
And what's it called?
Morningstar?

158
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:30,806
"Oh, dear. We live
at the Morningstar.

159
00:07:30,821 --> 00:07:33,618
That's so posh and
hibbley-fibbley-gibbley."

160
00:07:33,641 --> 00:07:36,009
The world needs
apartment buildings.

161
00:07:36,021 --> 00:07:38,873
The park you built is nice,
and people want to live next to it.

162
00:07:38,896 --> 00:07:40,312
That's not the point.

163
00:07:40,337 --> 00:07:42,170
You knew that
I would be furious,

164
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:44,554
and you didn't have the guts
to tell me yourself.

165
00:07:45,260 --> 00:07:47,244
Enjoy your new job, Judas.

166
00:07:48,362 --> 00:07:51,339
You tear down Ann's house.

167
00:07:51,354 --> 00:07:53,682
You spend the next two years
cutting down trees

168
00:07:53,688 --> 00:07:57,205
and fighting zoning laws
that I helped pass,

169
00:07:57,219 --> 00:08:01,127
basically spitting on everything
we did together at Parks.

170
00:08:01,152 --> 00:08:03,807
That's not
the whole story.

171
00:08:04,682 --> 00:08:06,018
What does that mean?

172
00:08:06,038 --> 00:08:08,757
It means what it means.
That...

173
00:08:08,782 --> 00:08:11,371
is not the whole
story of why I left.

174
00:08:13,983 --> 00:08:16,151
Sorry, time is up.

175
00:08:16,155 --> 00:08:17,436
Wait.

176
00:08:17,461 --> 00:08:20,359
Why then? What was the reason?
Ron, come on.

177
00:08:20,382 --> 00:08:22,890
Oh, my God, you made a key?
Ron, please, don't—

178
00:08:22,913 --> 00:08:24,297
Come on, Ron.

179
00:08:24,316 --> 00:08:25,855
Ron, just talk to me.

180
00:08:25,879 --> 00:08:28,936
- Ron, come on.
- See you tomorrow morning.

181
00:08:30,646 --> 00:08:32,213
Okay.

182
00:08:32,238 --> 00:08:33,412
Progress.

183
00:08:34,527 --> 00:08:37,324
Is it that I sent you a birthday
card through the US mail,

184
00:08:37,338 --> 00:08:39,470
so the post office
knew your address?

185
00:08:39,495 --> 00:08:41,040
No. Go away.

186
00:08:41,065 --> 00:08:43,087
Ooh, is it because
I had Food and Stuff

187
00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:46,369
temporarily shut down due
to a health code violation?

188
00:08:46,384 --> 00:08:47,619
That was you?

189
00:08:47,641 --> 00:08:51,837
They had fresh produce out
right next to the roach spray.

190
00:08:51,862 --> 00:08:55,190
The name of the store
is "Food and Stuff."

191
00:08:55,215 --> 00:08:57,608
They sell food,
and they sell stuff.

192
00:08:57,633 --> 00:09:01,352
If you don't like it, go to that
new place, Complete Food.

193
00:09:01,367 --> 00:09:03,157
It's called Whole Foods.

194
00:09:03,179 --> 00:09:05,359
- And is that really the reason?
- No.

195
00:09:05,367 --> 00:09:08,718
How many more questions
are you going to ask me?

196
00:09:08,732 --> 00:09:14,107
As many as I need to to solve
this mystery and get us engaged

197
00:09:14,122 --> 00:09:17,857
in a deep and stimulating
conversation about our friendship.

198
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:20,001
- Ron, what are you doing?
- I know I saw it.

199
00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:21,229
Aha!

200
00:09:21,245 --> 00:09:22,753
Detonator.

201
00:09:23,567 --> 00:09:27,679
The partially defused claymore
mine you gave me ten years ago.

202
00:09:27,704 --> 00:09:32,027
I'm gonna use it to blow a hole in this
damn door so I can get out of here.

203
00:09:32,050 --> 00:09:34,824
- Ron, just wait a second.
- No.

204
00:09:34,839 --> 00:09:37,160
I'm being held as a prisoner
against my will,

205
00:09:37,174 --> 00:09:39,880
and I have the right, as
a citizen of the United States,

206
00:09:39,888 --> 00:09:44,286
to blow a hole in that fucking
door and walk out as a free man.

207
00:09:44,310 --> 00:09:45,705
It's in the Constitution.

208
00:09:45,730 --> 00:09:47,556
There's no cursing
in the Constitution.

209
00:09:47,572 --> 00:09:49,158
Look, before you do that—

210
00:09:49,173 --> 00:09:50,874
Too late. Here we go.

211
00:09:50,899 --> 00:09:52,688
Fire in the hole!

212
00:09:56,952 --> 00:09:58,529
Whoo!

213
00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:03,395
I gave you that as a gift

214
00:10:03,420 --> 00:10:06,076
on your fifth anniversary
as Parks director.

215
00:10:06,091 --> 00:10:07,824
You told me

216
00:10:07,827 --> 00:10:11,772
this was a genuine partially
defused claymore mine.

217
00:10:11,788 --> 00:10:16,095
Well, it was. I bought
the empty shell off of eBay,

218
00:10:16,118 --> 00:10:19,618
and then I filled it with, you know,
balloons and confetti and such.

219
00:10:19,642 --> 00:10:24,923
You mean to tell me I have had
a toy on my desk for ten years?

220
00:10:24,946 --> 00:10:26,286
You mean to tell me
you've thought

221
00:10:26,301 --> 00:10:29,806
you had an actual land
mine on your desk?

222
00:10:29,828 --> 00:10:34,141
Congratulations, Ron. You've been
doing an explosive job!

223
00:10:36,174 --> 00:10:37,612
Come on, Ron.

224
00:10:37,635 --> 00:10:40,449
It's funny stuff.
Who gets angry at balloons?

225
00:10:41,119 --> 00:10:42,548
Good talk.

226
00:10:47,270 --> 00:10:48,529
What's all this?

227
00:10:48,544 --> 00:10:51,187
I'm just reading back through
some of our old projects,

228
00:10:51,206 --> 00:10:54,146
trying to figure out what
happened that made you quit.

229
00:10:54,827 --> 00:10:56,460
Good God, woman.

230
00:10:56,475 --> 00:10:57,868
This is a code.

231
00:10:57,893 --> 00:10:59,377
I am going to break it.

232
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:02,838
And this is my best shot.

233
00:11:02,853 --> 00:11:04,283
Is that nuclear waste?

234
00:11:04,298 --> 00:11:07,510
No, this is my job application
from when you hired me.

235
00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:08,744
How did you get that?

236
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,314
Freedom of Information
Act request.

237
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,978
But here's the thing.
I've never read it.

238
00:11:12,993 --> 00:11:17,564
This application contains your
very first impressions of me.

239
00:11:17,587 --> 00:11:19,691
It's the Rosetta Stone, Ron.

240
00:11:19,716 --> 00:11:22,524
The beginning of
the whole shebang.

241
00:11:24,036 --> 00:11:25,870
This is all you wrote?

242
00:11:25,889 --> 00:11:27,216
Three lousy lines?

243
00:11:27,232 --> 00:11:29,614
Why would anyone need
more than three lines?

244
00:11:29,637 --> 00:11:31,287
I'm describing a person,

245
00:11:31,312 --> 00:11:36,257
not something complicated like a wooden
sailing ship or proper dovetail technique.

246
00:11:36,264 --> 00:11:38,069
I forgot what I wrote.
Can I hear it?

247
00:11:38,091 --> 00:11:40,022
Why don't you read it yourself?

248
00:11:40,045 --> 00:11:43,460
"Leslie Knope is an absurd
idealist whose political leanings

249
00:11:43,483 --> 00:11:46,342
are slightly to the left
of Leon Trotsky."

250
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:48,303
So far, so accurate.

251
00:11:48,318 --> 00:11:51,560
"If we were to work together, she
would undoubtedly drive me insane,

252
00:11:51,583 --> 00:11:54,583
and it is possible that we
would murder each other."

253
00:11:57,968 --> 00:11:59,359
You forgot
the last sentence.

254
00:11:59,366 --> 00:12:00,335
No, I didn't.

255
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,133
I remember that part.

256
00:12:02,735 --> 00:12:04,620
It says, "Hire her."

257
00:12:06,665 --> 00:12:07,680
Did you hear that?

258
00:12:07,695 --> 00:12:09,376
Oh, it's— it's a person.

259
00:12:09,401 --> 00:12:10,769
It's another person!

260
00:12:10,794 --> 00:12:12,067
Hello! Hello!

261
00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:14,221
- Janitor!
- Hey!

262
00:12:14,244 --> 00:12:16,246
- Hey, we're trapped in here!
- Hey!

263
00:12:21,546 --> 00:12:24,648
Please, Mr. Janitor. If you just
look over here for two seconds,

264
00:12:24,659 --> 00:12:26,150
- I'll do anything.
- Hey!

265
00:12:26,165 --> 00:12:30,268
I'll watch a foreign film. I'll talk
to a man with a ponytail.

266
00:12:30,284 --> 00:12:33,244
Oh, he's gone, Ron.
He's gone.

267
00:12:35,627 --> 00:12:37,666
Why did you give
me the job?

268
00:12:37,689 --> 00:12:40,307
And that's what I don't get. We
should've never worked together.

269
00:12:40,314 --> 00:12:41,494
Why did you hire me?

270
00:12:41,509 --> 00:12:43,176
Because of your interview.

271
00:12:43,199 --> 00:12:45,078
Okay, that doesn't
make any sense.

272
00:12:45,101 --> 00:12:47,227
I mean, I remember
that interview.

273
00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:50,032
You were wearing
that exact outfit.

274
00:12:50,047 --> 00:12:53,107
And you said to me, "Ms. Knope,
I have one question for you.

275
00:12:53,130 --> 00:12:55,661
What do you believe the role
of government is in America?"

276
00:12:55,684 --> 00:12:58,331
You blathered on for
ten minutes about

277
00:12:58,356 --> 00:13:02,442
social safety nets and honest
governance and improving lives.

278
00:13:02,457 --> 00:13:03,731
Basic nonsense.

279
00:13:03,754 --> 00:13:07,395
Then you said, "Everything that just came
out of your mouth is basic nonsense.

280
00:13:07,410 --> 00:13:08,580
Good day."

281
00:13:08,605 --> 00:13:10,868
- And that was it.
- No, that was not it.

282
00:13:11,452 --> 00:13:12,944
After I said you
were full of it,

283
00:13:12,969 --> 00:13:16,289
you got very angry and scrunched
up your face and said,

284
00:13:16,305 --> 00:13:18,579
"Excuse me, sir,
but I disagree."

285
00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:21,827
Did you let me have it.

286
00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:24,437
That was one of your top
ten tirades, I'd say.

287
00:13:24,452 --> 00:13:26,448
You were pounding your
fist and shaking.

288
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,341
You called me
a heartless thug.

289
00:13:28,359 --> 00:13:29,960
I most certainly did not.

290
00:13:29,978 --> 00:13:32,654
You were tough and honest,

291
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,507
and you stood up for
what you believed in,

292
00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:37,270
even though it might've killed
your chance to get the job.

293
00:13:37,295 --> 00:13:41,973
I would rather work with a person like
that than with a milquetoast yes-man.

294
00:13:43,003 --> 00:13:44,808
Should be one more
thing in that file.

295
00:13:44,822 --> 00:13:48,667
Aw, it's the thank-you note I wrote
to you after the interview.

296
00:13:48,689 --> 00:13:49,690
You kept it.

297
00:13:49,709 --> 00:13:53,174
"Dear Mr. Swanson, I'm sorry for
raising my voice in the interview,

298
00:13:53,197 --> 00:13:55,088
and I'm sorry I called
you a heartless thug."

299
00:13:55,104 --> 00:13:57,017
Oh, well, okay.
There you go.

300
00:13:57,042 --> 00:13:58,946
"If it matters,
I promise I would never

301
00:13:58,961 --> 00:14:01,087
raise my voice at you
if we worked together."

302
00:14:01,110 --> 00:14:03,887
- Liar.
- Yeah, I was being really optimistic.

303
00:14:04,550 --> 00:14:08,863
"Please enjoy these homemade brownies
as a gesture of goodwill. Leslie Knope."

304
00:14:08,885 --> 00:14:11,067
That was the real
reason I hired you.

305
00:14:11,773 --> 00:14:13,625
Those brownies
were damn good.

306
00:14:13,647 --> 00:14:16,564
Ron, look how
far we've come.

307
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,206
We're doing so great.

308
00:14:18,222 --> 00:14:20,936
Let's just bring it home, okay?
Let's just talk about our issues.

309
00:14:20,951 --> 00:14:22,432
- Leslie, don't push it.
- Okay, fine.

310
00:14:22,457 --> 00:14:25,420
If I guess and guess right,
you have to tell me.

311
00:14:25,445 --> 00:14:26,889
Ready?

312
00:14:27,449 --> 00:14:30,751
Two years ago, you found out
you were 1/4 French,

313
00:14:30,762 --> 00:14:32,186
and you had a nervous
breakdown.

314
00:14:32,211 --> 00:14:35,063
Okay, playtime is over.

315
00:14:35,088 --> 00:14:37,110
I'm getting out of
here once and for all.

316
00:14:37,129 --> 00:14:38,666
No, Ron! God, no!

317
00:14:40,457 --> 00:14:43,270
That alarm is just
for sprinklers.

318
00:14:43,285 --> 00:14:46,595
April kept pulling it, so the fire
department disconnected it.

319
00:14:46,617 --> 00:14:48,138
I see.

320
00:14:52,984 --> 00:14:55,086
Ron? I found some towels.

321
00:14:55,702 --> 00:14:57,021
You okay?

322
00:14:59,554 --> 00:15:00,408
Wow.

323
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:03,185
Apparently,
Craig is studying yoga.

324
00:15:03,210 --> 00:15:05,312
These are the only
dry clothes I could find.

325
00:15:05,327 --> 00:15:08,392
- Well, you look great.
- I feel extremely angry.

326
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:11,290
Oh, come on.
Stop whining, you big baby.

327
00:15:11,305 --> 00:15:13,458
I've seen you with your
eyebrows blown off.

328
00:15:13,473 --> 00:15:15,216
I've seen you
without a mustache.

329
00:15:15,231 --> 00:15:17,427
I've seen it all.
There's nowhere to run, Ron.

330
00:15:17,452 --> 00:15:20,257
You have tried every
possible means of escape.

331
00:15:20,272 --> 00:15:22,017
There's nothing
to do but talk.

332
00:15:22,676 --> 00:15:26,808
What happened to these "workplace
proximity associates"?

333
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:28,602
Hmm?

334
00:15:29,019 --> 00:15:30,470
Spill it.

335
00:15:31,952 --> 00:15:33,273
You left.

336
00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:36,455
Then a month later,
you took Terry with you.

337
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:40,340
Yeah, well, we needed a mindless
factotum, and he's the best there is.

338
00:15:40,365 --> 00:15:41,530
Amen.

339
00:15:42,771 --> 00:15:44,464
Then you took April.

340
00:15:45,198 --> 00:15:47,858
I didn't want her to go,
as she had become

341
00:15:47,874 --> 00:15:51,405
one of my closest
workplace acquaintances.

342
00:15:51,420 --> 00:15:55,507
But your offer was too good to pass
up, so I didn't try to stop her.

343
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,640
Then Tom left
to run his business.

344
00:15:57,653 --> 00:15:59,675
Donna left to run hers.

345
00:15:59,691 --> 00:16:01,565
One day, I looked up.

346
00:16:01,587 --> 00:16:03,535
Just didn't
recognize anyone.

347
00:16:04,190 --> 00:16:06,136
So I made a decision.

348
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:09,201
An unthinkable decision.

349
00:16:10,892 --> 00:16:11,930
Hey.

350
00:16:11,955 --> 00:16:14,699
Well, my, my, my.
Do my eyes deceive me?

351
00:16:14,714 --> 00:16:17,409
- Is that Ron Swanson?
- Hello, Leslie.

352
00:16:17,425 --> 00:16:19,004
Hello, April. Larry.

353
00:16:19,029 --> 00:16:21,443
- It's Terry now.
- Okay.

354
00:16:21,451 --> 00:16:23,069
- As luck would have it—
- One second. Oh.

355
00:16:23,084 --> 00:16:24,596
Did you talk to Randy
about the vote?

356
00:16:24,610 --> 00:16:26,427
Tell the Northeast that we
need to put pressure on them,

357
00:16:26,442 --> 00:16:29,145
or else we're gonna be waiting forever,
and I'm tired of waiting on them, okay?

358
00:16:29,161 --> 00:16:30,786
Sorry. This is
a crazy day.

359
00:16:30,801 --> 00:16:32,364
So what's up with you,
you big lug?

360
00:16:32,379 --> 00:16:35,699
Nothing important. Just thought
you might want to have lunch.

361
00:16:35,715 --> 00:16:37,209
- Tomorrow?
- I would love to.

362
00:16:37,232 --> 00:16:40,144
It's been too long.
JJ's Diner, 12:30?

363
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,927
- Excellent. See you then.
- Okay.

364
00:16:41,943 --> 00:16:44,691
So Randy says the House
is voting tomorrow,

365
00:16:44,709 --> 00:16:46,510
and they need us in
Washington to prep.

366
00:16:46,521 --> 00:16:47,621
Oh, my God, really?

367
00:16:47,624 --> 00:16:50,190
Okay, get us the first flight out of
here and grab the Missouri files.

368
00:16:50,205 --> 00:16:51,768
Meet me at my car.

369
00:16:52,409 --> 00:16:54,844
Hey, babe. I got
to go to Washington.

370
00:16:54,861 --> 00:16:56,362
Can you pick up the kids?

371
00:16:56,822 --> 00:16:58,490
Oh. Oh, no.

372
00:16:58,515 --> 00:17:01,015
Ron, I stood you
up for lunch.

373
00:17:01,030 --> 00:17:02,617
You did, yes.

374
00:17:02,639 --> 00:17:04,411
I waited for a while,
but it was pretty easy

375
00:17:04,426 --> 00:17:05,901
to figure out what
had happened.

376
00:17:05,926 --> 00:17:07,993
Your life seemed
pretty hectic.

377
00:17:08,433 --> 00:17:10,347
Is that the rest of the story?

378
00:17:10,372 --> 00:17:12,189
That I stood you up?

379
00:17:14,572 --> 00:17:16,697
You were going
to ask me something.

380
00:17:16,712 --> 00:17:18,784
That's why you wanted
to have lunch.

381
00:17:20,809 --> 00:17:24,189
- Ron, you were going—
- I was gonna ask you for a job.

382
00:17:25,258 --> 00:17:27,647
In the federal government.

383
00:17:28,139 --> 00:17:30,920
Just saying it out
loud feels dirty.

384
00:17:32,681 --> 00:17:34,791
You missed your friends,

385
00:17:34,816 --> 00:17:38,495
and you wanted to come up to the third
floor and work with us again.

386
00:17:39,455 --> 00:17:42,542
I can't even imagine how hard
that must have been for you.

387
00:17:42,557 --> 00:17:44,761
God, why didn't I see that?

388
00:17:44,776 --> 00:17:47,566
Ron, I am so sorry.

389
00:17:47,587 --> 00:17:49,751
I should've been
a better friend to you.

390
00:17:49,776 --> 00:17:51,991
Honestly, Leslie, it's fine.

391
00:17:52,514 --> 00:17:56,457
It was a punctuation mark on a sentence
that had already been written.

392
00:17:56,482 --> 00:17:58,568
My time in government
work was over.

393
00:17:58,583 --> 00:18:00,374
Sure, I loved
shutting things down

394
00:18:00,389 --> 00:18:03,148
and bleeding the rotting
beast from the inside.

395
00:18:03,163 --> 00:18:05,038
Your metaphors are
so beautiful.

396
00:18:05,053 --> 00:18:06,874
But it was time
for me to leave,

397
00:18:06,882 --> 00:18:10,851
and I didn't feel like
explaining why to you or anyone.

398
00:18:10,866 --> 00:18:13,765
Everything that happened
after— the fight we had,

399
00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:17,428
not giving you a heads-up when my company
took on the Morningstar development

400
00:18:17,451 --> 00:18:21,038
and bulldozed
the nurse's old house—

401
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,592
I do regret that.

402
00:18:25,382 --> 00:18:27,757
I had a good run here.

403
00:18:27,780 --> 00:18:32,760
But after you and Tom and Donna
and April and Terry left,

404
00:18:32,785 --> 00:18:35,152
when I looked around
this office,

405
00:18:35,167 --> 00:18:37,238
nothing was the same.

406
00:18:37,725 --> 00:18:40,160
Yeah, well, there's a way
to fix that.

407
00:19:37,980 --> 00:19:40,827
Well, this is different
from what I expected to find.

408
00:19:42,366 --> 00:19:44,741
Oh. Morning, guys.

409
00:19:44,765 --> 00:19:46,293
Good morning, Leslie.

410
00:19:46,307 --> 00:19:47,619
What did you do
to the office?

411
00:19:47,638 --> 00:19:50,629
Ron, you're wearing my yoga clothes.
You're gonna stretch out the elastic.

412
00:19:50,654 --> 00:19:52,257
We're sorry.

413
00:20:00,601 --> 00:20:03,598
Hey. I moved our
meetings to tomorrow

414
00:20:03,614 --> 00:20:09,350
because you are drunk and hungover
simultaneously at 2:00 in the afternoon.

415
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,953
Yeah. Good call.

416
00:20:10,968 --> 00:20:12,933
Also, you have a visitor.

417
00:20:12,956 --> 00:20:15,045
No, whoever it is,
I have zero interest in—

418
00:20:15,060 --> 00:20:17,115
- Hello.
- Ron!

419
00:20:17,138 --> 00:20:18,972
Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron.

420
00:20:18,991 --> 00:20:21,835
We just spent 12 hours
together, woman.

421
00:20:21,850 --> 00:20:23,050
Mm, don't care.

422
00:20:23,070 --> 00:20:26,383
I have three years' worth of hugs
to force upon you against your will.

423
00:20:26,398 --> 00:20:29,039
I have a small
object for you.

424
00:20:29,064 --> 00:20:32,000
Call it an official peace
offering, I suppose.

425
00:20:32,018 --> 00:20:33,987
Wow. This is very sweet.

426
00:20:34,009 --> 00:20:37,198
But you do realize I gave you
this picture six hours ago.

427
00:20:37,216 --> 00:20:39,217
The frame is the gift.

428
00:20:39,242 --> 00:20:41,859
When my company took on
the Morningstar development,

429
00:20:41,875 --> 00:20:45,782
and I realized it meant
bulldozing Ann's old house,

430
00:20:45,797 --> 00:20:47,774
I salvaged her front door.

431
00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:51,364
Then I stripped off all
the terrible paint and lacquer—

432
00:20:51,382 --> 00:20:54,076
people really don't know
how to finish wood properly—

433
00:20:54,101 --> 00:21:00,640
and I made it into this frame for you
in the event that you and I ever...

434
00:21:01,161 --> 00:21:04,553
Ron. You big,
fat, giant sap.

435
00:21:04,576 --> 00:21:07,646
- That seems unnecessary.
- I love it.

436
00:21:07,662 --> 00:21:11,076
But I feel bad. I don't
have anything for you. I—

437
00:21:11,099 --> 00:21:13,638
For the first time in my
life, I am present-less.

438
00:21:13,654 --> 00:21:15,569
How 'bout you
buy me a meal?

439
00:21:15,587 --> 00:21:17,689
- You hungry?
- I'm starving.

440
00:21:17,703 --> 00:21:21,655
April, Ron and I are going
to JJ's to eat too much breakfast food.

441
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:26,188
Why does anybody in the world ever
eat anything but breakfast food?

442
00:21:26,203 --> 00:21:27,922
People are idiots, Ron.

443
00:21:30,736 --> 00:21:37,736
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