1
00:00:02,813 --> 00:00:05,052
Forget it.
It's impossible.

2
00:00:05,077 --> 00:00:07,348
It's not gonna work in a million years.
It's pointless. I give up.

3
00:00:07,363 --> 00:00:08,466
Good attitude, honey.

4
00:00:08,473 --> 00:00:10,419
Well, you know,
what do you want from me?

5
00:00:10,434 --> 00:00:13,380
I'm trying to get a group
of people to give me their land,

6
00:00:13,395 --> 00:00:17,333
rather than sell it to Gryzzl
for $90 million.

7
00:00:17,356 --> 00:00:19,040
Right now, my basic
argument is,

8
00:00:19,065 --> 00:00:22,006
"Please, give us the land.
It would be so nice."

9
00:00:22,031 --> 00:00:25,101
Gryzzl has billions of dollars.
There's no way I beat them.

10
00:00:25,116 --> 00:00:28,289
Hey, I've seen you beat
tougher odds than this.

11
00:00:28,304 --> 00:00:30,867
But they're just a company,
they're not that powerful.

12
00:00:32,567 --> 00:00:34,739
Whoa! "Open your door"?

13
00:00:37,178 --> 00:00:40,514
Ah! Oh, my God, Ben!
We're about to die.

14
00:00:40,538 --> 00:00:42,259
- Good lord!
- Oh, my—

15
00:00:42,284 --> 00:00:43,718
The robots have
come for us.

16
00:00:43,729 --> 00:00:46,909
I made fun of you when you said it would
happen but your novel has come true.

17
00:00:46,924 --> 00:00:48,033
Hey, Leslie Knope!

18
00:00:48,056 --> 00:00:51,705
Please enjoy this free gift,
courtesy of Gryzzl.

19
00:00:51,714 --> 00:00:54,073
Okay, so they also
have a squadron

20
00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,917
of flying robots giving
presents to everyone.

21
00:00:56,942 --> 00:00:58,727
- Later!
- We're screwed.

22
00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:19,420
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

23
00:01:20,268 --> 00:01:22,791
New dish we're working on.
Tell me what you think.

24
00:01:22,814 --> 00:01:25,829
It's a red and white
heirloom red bean pasta,

25
00:01:25,844 --> 00:01:28,053
with an imported Tuscan
walnut herb sauce,

26
00:01:28,075 --> 00:01:30,636
infused with shaved heritage
Pecorino Romano.

27
00:01:30,661 --> 00:01:32,583
- What? You're done?
- Mmm.

28
00:01:32,608 --> 00:01:34,569
Really good. Why are
you doing new dishes?

29
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:39,253
Lucy is visiting her boyfriend
Conrad in Chicago,

30
00:01:39,276 --> 00:01:40,776
so I'm just trying to distract
myself with work

31
00:01:40,799 --> 00:01:43,643
so I don't think about the marathon
bone sesh they're probably having.

32
00:01:43,666 --> 00:01:46,868
Hey, you know what, dude? You gotta take
your mind off of them. Check this out.

33
00:01:47,498 --> 00:01:49,201
It's a contract.

34
00:01:49,216 --> 00:01:52,188
It came from the station manager
where I do my show, Johnny Karate.

35
00:01:52,211 --> 00:01:56,204
He wants me to sign it, but is says that
they'll own the character, "Johnny Karate."

36
00:01:56,229 --> 00:01:58,635
And I want to own the character
Johnny Karate, 'cause it's me.

37
00:01:58,659 --> 00:02:01,100
Wait, this says they only pay
you a hundred bucks a week?

38
00:02:01,116 --> 00:02:03,686
Yeah, but all I really do
is goof around all day.

39
00:02:03,701 --> 00:02:05,403
Write, produce,
and direct a TV show.

40
00:02:05,418 --> 00:02:08,733
Plus, I act in it, and I do
sets, props, wardrobe.

41
00:02:08,756 --> 00:02:10,862
At the end, I drive everybody
home, so I mean,

42
00:02:10,884 --> 00:02:13,689
a hundred bucks a week—
that's pretty fair.

43
00:02:13,712 --> 00:02:15,361
This is perfect.
I'll be your agent!

44
00:02:15,376 --> 00:02:17,986
I'll put all my energy into
renegotiating your contract.

45
00:02:18,001 --> 00:02:19,901
I won't even think
about Lucy and Conrad

46
00:02:19,916 --> 00:02:22,700
and his stupid crunches
that he probably does.

47
00:02:23,456 --> 00:02:25,452
I should probably
do some crunches.

48
00:02:26,534 --> 00:02:27,621
Let's go!

49
00:02:27,636 --> 00:02:30,535
Ow! Andy, my tum tum!

50
00:02:31,405 --> 00:02:33,553
- Knope, I need to talk to you.
- What's up?

51
00:02:33,577 --> 00:02:37,668
I know I technically work for Gryzzl,
but these fools have crossed a line.

52
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,222
Have you gotten one of these
GryzzlBoxes?

53
00:02:39,237 --> 00:02:41,214
Well, yeah, but I haven't
opened it yet.

54
00:02:41,222 --> 00:02:44,394
Planning on sending it back
after I wrote a sternly-worded

55
00:02:44,417 --> 00:02:47,027
letter about how I cannot be
bought with free gifts.

56
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:48,758
These are my free gifts.

57
00:02:49,343 --> 00:02:51,491
Two honey bears...

58
00:02:51,506 --> 00:02:54,037
and a canister
of sugar plums.

59
00:02:54,060 --> 00:02:56,470
"Honeybear" and "Sugar Plum"
are the special names

60
00:02:56,478 --> 00:02:58,255
Joe and I call each other.

61
00:02:58,269 --> 00:02:58,958
Aww.

62
00:02:58,973 --> 00:03:01,559
Yeah, we're adorable,
but this is creepy.

63
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:05,194
Because we only call each other these
things on the phone or in texts.

64
00:03:05,208 --> 00:03:06,842
How do they even know?

65
00:03:07,811 --> 00:03:10,014
Leslie, open that box
they sent you.

66
00:03:10,820 --> 00:03:13,880
Ooh! Joe Biden's book,
"Biden the Rails:

67
00:03:13,905 --> 00:03:17,741
1001 Poems Inspired by My Travels
Through Amtrak's Northeat Corridor."

68
00:03:17,749 --> 00:03:18,851
A thousand?

69
00:03:18,874 --> 00:03:21,364
A poster of the Supreme
Court Justices

70
00:03:21,389 --> 00:03:23,866
sipping the Friends milkshake!

71
00:03:23,882 --> 00:03:25,474
This stuff is perfect for me.

72
00:03:25,499 --> 00:03:28,414
Yeah, exactly. They
must be data-mining.

73
00:03:28,437 --> 00:03:31,843
Searching our texts and emails
and gathering profiles on all of us.

74
00:03:31,850 --> 00:03:35,703
This is a huge invasion of
privacy, not to mention illegal.

75
00:03:35,718 --> 00:03:37,617
When they installed their
free Wi-Fi in town,

76
00:03:37,631 --> 00:03:40,640
I made sure that there was
language preventing this.

77
00:03:40,659 --> 00:03:42,455
I never would have agreed
to work with them

78
00:03:42,477 --> 00:03:44,686
if I had known they were gonna
be snooping in my biz.

79
00:03:44,711 --> 00:03:48,289
Gryzzl is going down.
You wanna put me on blast?

80
00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,804
I'ma put you on
Front Street.

81
00:03:49,819 --> 00:03:50,940
I don't understand
what that means,

82
00:03:50,956 --> 00:03:53,578
but I think I get the context,
and I love it.

83
00:03:54,708 --> 00:03:56,950
April, the new Parks
interns start today,

84
00:03:56,973 --> 00:03:59,395
and I was wondering if you would
deliver a little welcome speech.

85
00:03:59,419 --> 00:04:01,255
No, go away.

86
00:04:01,278 --> 00:04:04,817
Watermelon, martinis, exposed
brick, Keri Russell's hair.

87
00:04:04,832 --> 00:04:06,645
Why did you just say
those weird things?

88
00:04:06,660 --> 00:04:09,269
On the advice of my therapist,
Dr. Richard Nygard,

89
00:04:09,288 --> 00:04:11,825
whenever I feel like yelling,
I just take a deep breath

90
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,145
and say three great things
about being alive.

91
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,959
- Gross.
- Please talk to my interns.

92
00:04:16,984 --> 00:04:18,926
Fine. Whatever,
I'll do it.

93
00:04:18,949 --> 00:04:23,989
I started here when I was 20, and now
I'm old and gross and directionless.

94
00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:26,225
Those kids are me
ten years ago,

95
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:28,757
and this internship
is the videotape from The Ring.

96
00:04:28,782 --> 00:04:31,118
It's too late for me.
I've seen too much.

97
00:04:31,125 --> 00:04:33,039
But maybe I can save them.

98
00:04:33,664 --> 00:04:36,005
You're all gonna die in here!

99
00:04:36,905 --> 00:04:40,586
Hello, everyone. We are here
today to discuss Gryzzl,

100
00:04:40,609 --> 00:04:42,733
and whether or not they
are invading our privacy.

101
00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:46,022
They sent my husband three boxes
of genital cream to his office.

102
00:04:46,045 --> 00:04:48,983
My husband's splotchy genitals
are no one's business,

103
00:04:48,999 --> 00:04:52,866
except for his, mine,
and his many genital doctors.

104
00:04:54,241 --> 00:04:57,796
They sent me a bunch of toy
pigs dressed like movie stars.

105
00:04:57,818 --> 00:04:59,483
That's my private hobby.

106
00:04:59,491 --> 00:05:02,561
No one knows I collect toy pigs
dressed like movie stars,

107
00:05:02,582 --> 00:05:04,370
except now all
of you people.

108
00:05:04,395 --> 00:05:05,418
Which one is that?

109
00:05:05,433 --> 00:05:07,695
This is actually
Ham-uel L. Jackson

110
00:05:07,714 --> 00:05:11,503
from the movie, Pork Fiction,
it's extremely rare, and I am keeping it.

111
00:05:11,518 --> 00:05:13,597
But still, they no right
to give me something

112
00:05:13,622 --> 00:05:15,622
I will treasure
the rest of my life.

113
00:05:15,637 --> 00:05:18,137
I opened my box in front
of all of my friends,

114
00:05:18,145 --> 00:05:21,231
and it was a bunch
of Virginia Woolf novels.

115
00:05:21,246 --> 00:05:23,681
Now Miley and Haley
know I like to read.

116
00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:24,841
What if they tell Evan?

117
00:05:24,856 --> 00:05:26,242
I like their phones,

118
00:05:26,267 --> 00:05:29,345
but they've gone too far sending
this stuff to our houses.

119
00:05:29,352 --> 00:05:32,150
Gryzzl has no right
to search our private data.

120
00:05:32,175 --> 00:05:33,472
So wait,

121
00:05:33,497 --> 00:05:36,013
you guys are not
against us on this?

122
00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:38,143
We're not against
you on this.

123
00:05:38,168 --> 00:05:40,217
We're not against
you on this.

124
00:05:40,242 --> 00:05:42,125
We're not
against you on this.

125
00:05:42,150 --> 00:05:45,671
Finally, after months of searching
for a way to defeat Gryzzl,

126
00:05:45,696 --> 00:05:47,844
we have found its
Achilles' heel.

127
00:05:47,860 --> 00:05:50,561
The town is behind us,
Donna is on our side,

128
00:05:50,576 --> 00:05:52,515
and the next
domino to fall?

129
00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:54,259
Ron Swanson.

130
00:05:54,273 --> 00:05:58,048
Actually, this is Tom Sell-oink,
but, you know, close enough.

131
00:05:58,063 --> 00:06:00,819
- Actually, I'm gonna need that back.
- Oh, yes, of course.

132
00:06:02,770 --> 00:06:06,404
February 2016—I think you're gonna
really enjoy this month's photo album.

133
00:06:06,427 --> 00:06:09,951
It includes such hits as:
"First Trip to the Dentist,"

134
00:06:09,974 --> 00:06:14,325
"Sonia Tries Pizza," and "Waterpark
Vomit Chain Reaction."

135
00:06:14,348 --> 00:06:15,841
Why would you take
pictures of that?

136
00:06:15,857 --> 00:06:17,743
- Why would you not?
- As you requested,

137
00:06:17,762 --> 00:06:20,856
here's a picture of my son
at a recent moment in his life.

138
00:06:20,871 --> 00:06:22,723
So cute—

139
00:06:23,419 --> 00:06:26,310
- What are you doing?
- Protecting my son's privacy.

140
00:06:26,332 --> 00:06:28,391
What, I'm just gonna carry
around pictures of my child

141
00:06:28,399 --> 00:06:29,985
where anyone
could see them?

142
00:06:30,008 --> 00:06:33,741
Well, it's funny you should mention
privacy because that's our next topic.

143
00:06:33,748 --> 00:06:35,749
Ron technically works
for Gryzzl.

144
00:06:35,756 --> 00:06:37,656
And when he finds out
what Gryzzl is doing,

145
00:06:37,670 --> 00:06:41,196
he is going to lose. His. Mind.

146
00:06:42,556 --> 00:06:44,838
- I have no reaction to this.
- What?

147
00:06:44,845 --> 00:06:47,889
I do not pass judgment on
the workings of private businesses.

148
00:06:47,914 --> 00:06:49,484
I just build
their buildings.

149
00:06:49,499 --> 00:06:51,139
And frankly, if people
are foolish enough

150
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:55,248
to carry around a doodad that lets
Gryzzl track their every move,

151
00:06:55,263 --> 00:06:58,091
- this is what they get.
- But it's illegal.

152
00:06:58,113 --> 00:06:59,672
I don't believe
that's true.

153
00:06:59,697 --> 00:07:02,595
I've spent a fair amount of time
with Gryzzl's high-priced lawyers,

154
00:07:02,619 --> 00:07:07,174
and they do seem to, as they
say, "keep it 100."

155
00:07:07,199 --> 00:07:09,418
Well, those fools still
think I work for them.

156
00:07:09,433 --> 00:07:12,043
So I can get you a private VIP
tour of the building.

157
00:07:12,058 --> 00:07:13,881
Maybe you can snoop around.

158
00:07:14,683 --> 00:07:17,920
Hey there, homies, I'm Roscoe.
Psyched to give you guys a tour.

159
00:07:17,943 --> 00:07:20,125
Yes, hello,
I'm Darlene Johannsen,

160
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:23,852
and this is my assistant-turned-lover,
Gregory Strong.

161
00:07:23,875 --> 00:07:27,169
Ours is a new romance,
but one that sent shockwaves

162
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,795
through my architecture firm.

163
00:07:28,802 --> 00:07:30,875
- But it feels so right.
- Steady.

164
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:34,609
We love Gryzzl, and we would
love to see how it all works.

165
00:07:34,632 --> 00:07:36,874
Sweet. Let's get loco.

166
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:41,000
Okay, so, let's get
to know each other.

167
00:07:41,007 --> 00:07:44,460
Talk about why you're here, whether
you're throwing your lives away,

168
00:07:44,475 --> 00:07:45,796
stuff like that.

169
00:07:45,812 --> 00:07:47,374
Uh, you, what
brought you here?

170
00:07:47,397 --> 00:07:48,616
I love the Parks department.

171
00:07:48,631 --> 00:07:51,116
I grew up near Ramsett Park and I used
to go to tons of stuff there.

172
00:07:51,131 --> 00:07:53,717
Okay, that doesn't help me.
Uh, Mork?

173
00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:54,811
Oh, it's Mike.

174
00:07:54,832 --> 00:07:57,215
Uh, I love parks,
more than anything,

175
00:07:57,230 --> 00:07:59,582
and I've been a summer camp
counselor since I was 13.

176
00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:00,980
Ugh. Gross.

177
00:08:00,999 --> 00:08:02,809
What about you?
Why are you here?

178
00:08:02,824 --> 00:08:05,332
The only thing I love more
than parks is recreation.

179
00:08:05,339 --> 00:08:07,347
- Really?
- No, I just needed college credit.

180
00:08:07,370 --> 00:08:09,436
- What are you studying?
- Nothing. College is stupid.

181
00:08:09,461 --> 00:08:10,718
Then who made you do this.

182
00:08:10,738 --> 00:08:12,324
- My parents.
- What are they like?

183
00:08:12,339 --> 00:08:14,775
Well, my mom's the devil
and my dad's a dumb doctor.

184
00:08:14,790 --> 00:08:16,634
- Oh, my dad's a doctor.
- Shut up.

185
00:08:16,642 --> 00:08:18,398
- Jen is it?
- Yeah.

186
00:08:18,423 --> 00:08:21,582
Let's take a walk, Jen. I feel like
you have almost zero potential.

187
00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:23,146
I think that's cool.

188
00:08:23,171 --> 00:08:24,210
And action!

189
00:08:24,235 --> 00:08:27,466
We meet again,
Puppy-Hating Dan.

190
00:08:27,481 --> 00:08:31,355
You stole my guitar.
And you put farts in my lunch.

191
00:08:32,389 --> 00:08:35,826
You've really done it this time.
Puppy Army, attack!

192
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,866
- Yeah!
- What? No!

193
00:08:38,889 --> 00:08:42,061
I hate puppies.
I'll admit to everything.

194
00:08:42,076 --> 00:08:43,913
You win again, Macklin.

195
00:08:43,928 --> 00:08:45,452
Another mystery solved!

196
00:08:45,468 --> 00:08:49,079
We'll be right back after this
with some more Johnny Karate.

197
00:08:49,104 --> 00:08:51,739
Okay, that's lunch, everyone.
We're back in 30 minutes.

198
00:08:51,763 --> 00:08:53,169
Great job, bud,
you crushed it!

199
00:08:53,176 --> 00:08:55,091
I love being Andy's agent.

200
00:08:55,114 --> 00:08:57,839
He does all the work, and I get
10% just for showing up.

201
00:08:57,864 --> 00:08:59,716
It's like a chef
at a restaurant,

202
00:08:59,731 --> 00:09:02,805
making all the food, and then
the owner gets a profit—

203
00:09:02,828 --> 00:09:04,389
which is my other job!

204
00:09:04,392 --> 00:09:06,383
Man, I really got
things figured out.

205
00:09:06,892 --> 00:09:08,125
Let's make this quick.

206
00:09:08,135 --> 00:09:10,470
Andy's show gets huge
ratings in three cities.

207
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,040
His GryzzlTube page
has millions of views.

208
00:09:13,047 --> 00:09:16,580
If you don't Andy walking over
to your rival station in Snerling,

209
00:09:16,595 --> 00:09:18,884
I think you should start
taking this seriously.

210
00:09:18,899 --> 00:09:20,541
Right. Okay, here's what
we're gonna do.

211
00:09:20,555 --> 00:09:22,900
I'm gonna upgrade
the parking spot.

212
00:09:22,923 --> 00:09:25,330
But my son gets a role
as one of the kid ninjas.

213
00:09:25,345 --> 00:09:28,517
All right? He's gonna love me for it.
It's gonna drive my ex-wife crazy.

214
00:09:28,532 --> 00:09:31,452
So far, so good, but, uh,
in the words of Jerry Maguire—

215
00:09:31,467 --> 00:09:33,131
- "The human head
weighs 8 pounds."

216
00:09:33,146 --> 00:09:34,945
No. "Show me the money."

217
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:37,954
Andy, do you know how lucky
you are to work here?

218
00:09:37,969 --> 00:09:39,376
I'm a kingmaker.

219
00:09:39,392 --> 00:09:43,634
Pep Wiley, Chuck Warschank,
Selena Gomez—I made them.

220
00:09:43,657 --> 00:09:45,235
You discovered
Selena Gomez?

221
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,516
Different Selena Gomez.

222
00:09:46,531 --> 00:09:48,283
Look, I don't have
the money for a raise.

223
00:09:48,289 --> 00:09:50,821
Uh, yeah you do.
I've seen profit reports.

224
00:09:50,836 --> 00:09:54,172
The show's a bonanza.
Andy starts making 500 a week.

225
00:09:54,188 --> 00:09:55,508
Now.

226
00:09:56,578 --> 00:09:59,047
- Get the hell out of my office, both
of you... - Sit down. - I don't...

227
00:09:59,585 --> 00:10:02,351
Look, dude, this
internship leads nowhere.

228
00:10:02,366 --> 00:10:04,605
It'll just screw up
the rest of your life.

229
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:08,304
- What do you love doing?
- Texting.

230
00:10:08,319 --> 00:10:10,077
What did you want to be
when you were little?

231
00:10:10,093 --> 00:10:12,908
A scary mermaid that lures
sailors to their death.

232
00:10:13,365 --> 00:10:15,513
Okay, side note,
I'm gonna file papers

233
00:10:15,529 --> 00:10:18,451
to adopt you as my child,
so keep an eye out for that.

234
00:10:18,466 --> 00:10:21,927
But more importantly,
don't do this internship.

235
00:10:21,946 --> 00:10:23,313
Go do something fun

236
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:26,811
like trying to control
birds with your mind or

237
00:10:26,836 --> 00:10:29,841
posting internet comments
as Michael Jackson's ghost.

238
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,602
Okay. Maybe you're right.

239
00:10:33,076 --> 00:10:34,262
Thanks.

240
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:38,018
Hey, April, we finished those
questionnaires you gave us

241
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:39,604
about our hopes and dreams
for the internship.

242
00:10:39,612 --> 00:10:42,031
Great! Thanks, Mike!

243
00:10:45,855 --> 00:10:47,490
Oh, I'm sorry this
building is so lame.

244
00:10:47,497 --> 00:10:50,982
As soon as we get our new headquarters
built, it's gonna be way, way, tighter.

245
00:10:50,997 --> 00:10:52,256
Check it. Matty.

246
00:10:52,279 --> 00:10:54,138
Okay, this is GryzzlVibe.

247
00:10:54,146 --> 00:10:55,901
It's this new app
that we're developing

248
00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:57,827
that monitors your mood.
Tell them about it.

249
00:10:57,843 --> 00:11:00,605
As you know, the cameras
on your phones are always on,

250
00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:01,952
whether you're
using them or not.

251
00:11:01,968 --> 00:11:03,101
I'm sorry, they are?

252
00:11:03,116 --> 00:11:07,593
This app uses facial recognition
software to track your expressions.

253
00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,485
It's always watching.

254
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:11,644
Well, what do you do
with this information?

255
00:11:11,667 --> 00:11:14,456
Well, if the camera senses
that you're in a bad mood,

256
00:11:14,471 --> 00:11:16,566
then we can geo-match
you to, say,

257
00:11:16,591 --> 00:11:18,951
the nearest cup of
sweet pick-me-up java.

258
00:11:18,966 --> 00:11:22,208
But if you're in a good mood,
then we could geo-nudge you

259
00:11:22,230 --> 00:11:23,786
to, like, a sweet
coffee shop.

260
00:11:23,794 --> 00:11:26,130
You can just keep
the good times rolling.

261
00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:28,637
So it's really just
a coffee sales app.

262
00:11:28,653 --> 00:11:29,416
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

263
00:11:29,431 --> 00:11:31,770
- Yeah, we're developing
with Starbucks. - Yeah.

264
00:11:32,405 --> 00:11:36,835
So, Roscoe, how does Gryzzl know
all the things that someone wants?

265
00:11:36,858 --> 00:11:38,718
Are you guys...

266
00:11:38,743 --> 00:11:41,884
I don't know,
whatever—data-mining?

267
00:11:41,906 --> 00:11:44,180
Oh, hells yeah, dog-man.

268
00:11:44,195 --> 00:11:48,487
Our super rad algorithm searches
all your texts, calls, banking,

269
00:11:48,506 --> 00:11:52,592
medical records, blah, blah, blah,
to learn what you really want.

270
00:11:52,614 --> 00:11:55,125
You know, from snacks
to new books and movies

271
00:11:55,140 --> 00:11:57,763
to when you ladies need
to score some new 'pons.

272
00:11:57,781 --> 00:12:00,857
I mean, we might know you better
than you know yourself, Leslie.

273
00:12:01,657 --> 00:12:02,969
How did you
know it was me?

274
00:12:02,993 --> 00:12:04,526
Oh, there's about
40 different ways.

275
00:12:04,548 --> 00:12:07,134
I mean, geo-maps on your
different Gryzzl devices,

276
00:12:07,149 --> 00:12:08,978
and, of course, we face-scanned
you when you came in.

277
00:12:08,993 --> 00:12:11,813
- Really glad you're here.
- Okay, good.

278
00:12:11,834 --> 00:12:13,861
Just 'cause we're competing
for the Newport land

279
00:12:13,884 --> 00:12:15,262
doesn't mean that we
can't be friends.

280
00:12:15,278 --> 00:12:16,739
- No.
- Isn't that your motto?

281
00:12:16,746 --> 00:12:19,577
"Wouldn't it be tight if everyone
was chill to each other?"

282
00:12:19,602 --> 00:12:20,569
Totes.

283
00:12:20,587 --> 00:12:24,173
And I hope that you can see now that
there's nothing scary about Gryzzl.

284
00:12:24,196 --> 00:12:26,665
I mean, we just wanna learn
everything about everyone

285
00:12:26,681 --> 00:12:30,095
and track them wherever they go
and anticipate what they're about to do.

286
00:12:30,118 --> 00:12:32,688
These are really interesting
issues, Roscoe.

287
00:12:32,699 --> 00:12:35,230
I think maybe we could
debate them, you know?

288
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:37,871
- On TV.
- TV. Retro.

289
00:12:37,886 --> 00:12:39,566
I love it. All right.

290
00:12:39,581 --> 00:12:40,973
I'm gonna GryzzlPad
out of here.

291
00:12:40,998 --> 00:12:42,634
Skate mode activated.

292
00:12:42,659 --> 00:12:44,015
Later, chillerz.

293
00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:49,867
This is The Perdples Court,

294
00:12:49,892 --> 00:12:54,087
a legal debate show about issues
facing residents of Southern Indiana.

295
00:12:54,111 --> 00:12:56,966
With your host,
Judge Perd Hapley.

296
00:12:56,981 --> 00:12:58,730
Tonight, on The Perdples Court,

297
00:12:58,753 --> 00:13:02,205
we will have the guests that have
been booked for tonight's show—

298
00:13:02,230 --> 00:13:06,176
the plaintiff, Leslie Knope, who has
some big allegations against Gryzzl.

299
00:13:06,199 --> 00:13:09,777
The defendant, Gryzzl Vice
President Roscoe Santangelo.

300
00:13:09,799 --> 00:13:11,664
Who will win?
I don't know yet.

301
00:13:11,687 --> 00:13:13,874
Which is what makes
this a court show.

302
00:13:13,899 --> 00:13:15,842
We have public
opinion on our side,

303
00:13:15,857 --> 00:13:18,249
and we have proof that Gryzzl
has been data-mining.

304
00:13:18,272 --> 00:13:20,031
But there's one
more thing we need.

305
00:13:20,054 --> 00:13:24,062
The one thing that Americans
respect more than anything else:

306
00:13:24,078 --> 00:13:27,494
Public humiliation
on live television.

307
00:13:28,337 --> 00:13:30,587
Leslie, don't humiliate
yourself on television.

308
00:13:30,604 --> 00:13:31,964
Swanson, what are
you doing here?

309
00:13:31,971 --> 00:13:35,316
This is the 27th version
of the Pawnee-Gryzzl

310
00:13:35,332 --> 00:13:37,512
free wireless internet
thing agreement.

311
00:13:37,527 --> 00:13:39,543
Check out the page
I marked.

312
00:13:39,550 --> 00:13:43,466
Yeah, "Gryzzl is not allowed to collect
and use customer data for any purpose."

313
00:13:43,482 --> 00:13:44,732
It's pretty clear. See?

314
00:13:44,755 --> 00:13:48,341
Look closer, amendment "C,"
addendum 14.

315
00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:52,453
It directs you to this appendix,
which reroutes you to this one

316
00:13:52,468 --> 00:13:55,222
which says, in
a sub-footnote:

317
00:13:55,983 --> 00:13:58,951
It says here they can gather
and use any information they want.

318
00:13:58,971 --> 00:14:00,932
How did I miss this?

319
00:14:00,948 --> 00:14:02,114
Look at the revision date.

320
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:05,000
December 18, 2015.

321
00:14:05,016 --> 00:14:08,360
That was the opening day
of Star Wars: Episode VII.

322
00:14:08,383 --> 00:14:11,235
You were muttering that date
in your sleep for months.

323
00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:14,079
They knew you'd be distracted.
That's how they slipped it in.

324
00:14:14,094 --> 00:14:17,172
I did this to the town.
It's my fault.

325
00:14:17,195 --> 00:14:19,986
It's Ice Town
all over again.

326
00:14:21,571 --> 00:14:25,034
Is Star Wars the one
with the little wizard boy?

327
00:14:26,609 --> 00:14:28,977
Okay, this is what
I can give you.

328
00:14:28,987 --> 00:14:32,190
No more janitorial duties,
better parking spot,

329
00:14:32,215 --> 00:14:34,862
unlimited Mike and Ikes
from the vending machine,

330
00:14:34,870 --> 00:14:37,636
and for salary,
we're at 500 a week.

331
00:14:38,190 --> 00:14:39,268
500 whats?

332
00:14:39,283 --> 00:14:40,424
Dollars, man.

333
00:14:40,448 --> 00:14:42,026
What about the rights
to Johnny Karate?

334
00:14:42,033 --> 00:14:44,353
We own the rights to Johnny
Karate I can't bend on that one.

335
00:14:44,368 --> 00:14:47,220
- But I invented the character.
- Well, invent another character.

336
00:14:47,227 --> 00:14:49,651
Uh, here you go:
Kung-Fu Billy.

337
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:51,521
Jeremy Punch-Guy.

338
00:14:51,537 --> 00:14:52,771
Ed Kick.

339
00:14:52,786 --> 00:14:54,889
Those are actually
pretty great.

340
00:14:54,904 --> 00:14:57,420
But Johnny Karate
is special to me.

341
00:14:57,438 --> 00:15:00,572
If we can't get the rights,
I'm gonna walk.

342
00:15:01,497 --> 00:15:03,317
He's making the biggest
mistake of his life.

343
00:15:03,332 --> 00:15:05,192
He's walking out
on Hank Muntak?

344
00:15:05,215 --> 00:15:07,262
I have six Lower Great
Lakes Emmy Awards.

345
00:15:07,286 --> 00:15:09,419
I once sat in
the original Batmobile.

346
00:15:09,434 --> 00:15:12,169
James Woods follows
my niece on Twitter.

347
00:15:12,715 --> 00:15:14,292
He's gonna regret this.

348
00:15:14,317 --> 00:15:18,145
All this work, everything I've done
for this city, it's all a wash now.

349
00:15:18,159 --> 00:15:20,003
Everyone's gonna
hate me again.

350
00:15:20,023 --> 00:15:21,695
Some of us are already
there, Wyatt.

351
00:15:21,718 --> 00:15:24,778
This is not your fault.
Ron, talk some sense into him.

352
00:15:24,801 --> 00:15:27,549
Ben's right. This is Ice
Town all over again.

353
00:15:27,564 --> 00:15:28,581
- I—
- Ron!

354
00:15:28,606 --> 00:15:31,020
If you're gonna sign
a legally binding document,

355
00:15:31,042 --> 00:15:32,613
you need to read
it thoroughly.

356
00:15:32,628 --> 00:15:34,412
That's why the only
contract I've ever signed

357
00:15:34,428 --> 00:15:36,951
is my Mulligan's Steakhouse
club card.

358
00:15:36,959 --> 00:15:39,332
And even then,
I used a fake name.

359
00:15:39,357 --> 00:15:40,701
Les.

360
00:15:40,709 --> 00:15:42,819
Les Vegetables.

361
00:15:42,834 --> 00:15:44,101
Don't worry, okay?

362
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:45,643
You're not gonna take
the fall for this.

363
00:15:45,658 --> 00:15:48,579
Ron, make sure that
Donna doesn't hurt him.

364
00:15:50,096 --> 00:15:51,291
You wanted to see me?

365
00:15:51,299 --> 00:15:53,418
Yes, can you tell me
where Jennifer is?

366
00:15:53,425 --> 00:15:54,723
I convincer her to quit.

367
00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:59,572
Martha Stewarts apron line, my
tomato plants— oh, God, I'm out!

368
00:15:59,587 --> 00:16:01,228
Where is my emergency list?

369
00:16:01,251 --> 00:16:05,056
Recently, I've been feeling like
I've wasted the last ten years of my life,

370
00:16:05,063 --> 00:16:07,109
and it all started
with this internship,

371
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:09,845
and I don't want those kids to
make the same mistake, okay?

372
00:16:09,860 --> 00:16:13,476
April, you spent the last ten years doing
amazing things with this Parks department,

373
00:16:13,490 --> 00:16:16,066
and learning from the greatest
teacher in this or any business,

374
00:16:16,081 --> 00:16:17,528
Leslie Freaking Knope!

375
00:16:17,553 --> 00:16:21,491
You'd be a checkout girl at a gas station
if it wasn't for that internship.

376
00:16:23,311 --> 00:16:27,550
Sweet potato pie, unlikely animal
friend pairings, Jennifer Love Hewitt.

377
00:16:28,266 --> 00:16:29,833
You're lucky to have
worked here,

378
00:16:29,852 --> 00:16:32,243
no matter what you want to do
with the rest of your life.

379
00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:33,793
And I think you know that.

380
00:16:34,433 --> 00:16:38,163
And now if you'll excuse me,
I have to go find a new intern.

381
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:42,756
Now Leslie, I understand that
what you've brought to the show

382
00:16:42,781 --> 00:16:47,438
isn't a box of objects but rather
a symbolic box of allegations.

383
00:16:47,462 --> 00:16:50,361
- Well, Perd—
- It's "Judge Perd."

384
00:16:50,789 --> 00:16:53,446
Okay, uh, I think there are
certain questions

385
00:16:53,469 --> 00:16:58,946
about certain aspects of certain
parts of this situation

386
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:04,099
that require an evaluation
about whether or not

387
00:17:04,121 --> 00:17:07,630
this is or is not
a valid argument.

388
00:17:07,654 --> 00:17:09,076
Extremely well-put.

389
00:17:09,090 --> 00:17:10,568
Excuse me, Judge Perd?

390
00:17:10,583 --> 00:17:12,677
I'm Ben Wyatt, City Manager.

391
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:15,361
What Gryzzl is doing with our
private information

392
00:17:15,376 --> 00:17:18,220
may not technically
be illegal,

393
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:20,602
but it's definitely
not chill.

394
00:17:20,627 --> 00:17:23,315
Whoa! That's a serious
allegaysh, homie.

395
00:17:23,331 --> 00:17:24,498
We are hella chill.

396
00:17:24,518 --> 00:17:27,986
And frankly, if you don't like our
vibe, you don't have to use our shizz.

397
00:17:27,994 --> 00:17:29,955
Well, we kind of do.

398
00:17:29,978 --> 00:17:34,440
I mean, the internet is no longer
optional, it's a necessity for everyone.

399
00:17:34,455 --> 00:17:37,643
And I think you do know
that data-mining isn't chill,

400
00:17:37,658 --> 00:17:44,823
because you snuck it into the 27th
update of a 500-page user agreement.

401
00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:48,292
A person should not have to have
an advanced law degree

402
00:17:48,307 --> 00:17:52,823
to avoid being taken advantage of
by a multibillion dollar company.

403
00:17:52,838 --> 00:17:56,103
You should be upfront
about what you're doing

404
00:17:56,128 --> 00:17:59,426
and allow people
the ability to opt out.

405
00:18:00,054 --> 00:18:03,740
To be honest, Judge Perd
is stumped by this case.

406
00:18:04,754 --> 00:18:07,285
I've also misplaced
my judge hammer.

407
00:18:08,098 --> 00:18:09,669
I cannot render
a verdict here.

408
00:18:09,684 --> 00:18:12,340
Therefore, I must
declare a mistrial,

409
00:18:12,365 --> 00:18:15,631
which is a term I've heard
people use in the movies.

410
00:18:15,654 --> 00:18:17,766
Tap, tap, tap.
Case ended.

411
00:18:17,791 --> 00:18:20,581
- And we're clear.
- All right, later, dudes.

412
00:18:22,721 --> 00:18:24,925
Hey, good news!
I think I found a job.

413
00:18:24,939 --> 00:18:26,931
There was an opening for
a janitor at the TV station.

414
00:18:26,946 --> 00:18:29,079
Get this—they're gonna
pay me the minimum wage.

415
00:18:29,087 --> 00:18:30,603
Put your mop down, bud.

416
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,001
I got you the rights
to Johnny Karate.

417
00:18:32,016 --> 00:18:34,026
No way! How?

418
00:18:34,051 --> 00:18:35,762
Just a great agent I guess.

419
00:18:35,777 --> 00:18:37,293
Please, man, please!

420
00:18:37,308 --> 00:18:39,609
Andy's my friend, and I want
to do a good job,

421
00:18:39,634 --> 00:18:41,101
and there's this
girl I really like,

422
00:18:41,112 --> 00:18:43,940
and she lives in Chicago,
and she's still dating someone,

423
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,424
- and I just feel like—
- Oh, God.

424
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,037
Do you want to eat
at my restaurant for free?

425
00:18:47,052 --> 00:18:48,722
Every week, you could
come once a week,

426
00:18:48,747 --> 00:18:51,759
- and it's free.
- Okay, okay, fine. J-just stop!

427
00:18:52,342 --> 00:18:53,615
See?

428
00:18:53,639 --> 00:18:55,014
I told you it was
gonna work out.

429
00:18:55,029 --> 00:18:56,838
That's actually really good
advice for anything.

430
00:18:56,860 --> 00:18:59,134
If there's something
that you want badly,

431
00:18:59,150 --> 00:19:01,884
you just have to believe
that it's gonna work out.

432
00:19:05,059 --> 00:19:08,598
Hey, I am sorry that
I screwed up your life.

433
00:19:08,613 --> 00:19:12,012
I found a bunch of new potential
interns to replace Jen.

434
00:19:12,019 --> 00:19:13,129
Hi.

435
00:19:13,137 --> 00:19:14,230
How'd you manage that?

436
00:19:14,246 --> 00:19:16,496
I just thought,
"What would Leslie do?"

437
00:19:16,511 --> 00:19:20,184
So I handed out flyers
and I canvassed the college.

438
00:19:20,199 --> 00:19:21,973
I even baked a bunch
of cookies.

439
00:19:21,987 --> 00:19:25,035
It was weird, I actually
enjoyed finding them.

440
00:19:25,050 --> 00:19:27,470
And I enjoyed bullying
Jen into quitting.

441
00:19:27,495 --> 00:19:29,573
Hmm. You should add
"telling people what to do"

442
00:19:29,588 --> 00:19:31,612
to your "perfect job"
description.

443
00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:34,765
Good idea. You should up your
therapy to seven times a week,

444
00:19:34,790 --> 00:19:37,143
stop dressing that way,
and give me your wallet.

445
00:19:37,158 --> 00:19:40,945
Victor Garber, James Garner,
Jennifer Garner.

446
00:19:40,970 --> 00:19:42,854
I go alphabetical now.

447
00:19:43,877 --> 00:19:46,291
Hey, you're back!
How was the trip?

448
00:19:46,314 --> 00:19:48,424
It was okay.
Kind of weird.

449
00:19:48,447 --> 00:19:49,986
Oh. Weird couple of
days for me too.

450
00:19:50,009 --> 00:19:52,963
Closed a bunch of deals,
did a bunch of crunches...

451
00:19:52,978 --> 00:19:55,292
Yeah, I broke up with Conrad.

452
00:19:55,314 --> 00:19:58,745
Which was a long time coming,
but still weird.

453
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,549
So yeah, uh, do you
want to talk about it?

454
00:20:01,573 --> 00:20:04,299
Thanks. I don't think I'm
ready to discuss it just yet.

455
00:20:04,322 --> 00:20:06,897
But what I would like to do
is have a glass of wine

456
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:10,373
and talk about that shade Nicki Minaj threw
at Jesse Eisenberg at the BAFTA awards.

457
00:20:10,388 --> 00:20:12,686
- Mm. He deserved it.
- No. He didn't!

458
00:20:12,702 --> 00:20:16,785
Uh, settle in, because I have some
very strong feelings about this.

459
00:20:18,933 --> 00:20:20,537
- They're all down.
- Thank God.

460
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:24,193
Sometimes I think they're somehow
the first humans who don't need sleep.

461
00:20:24,208 --> 00:20:26,232
Look, this Gryzzl thing,
it's complicated.

462
00:20:26,255 --> 00:20:28,693
But this isn't Ice Town.

463
00:20:28,717 --> 00:20:32,390
You have done so much for this
town, and people know that.

464
00:20:32,413 --> 00:20:35,281
I'm just sorry we couldn't find
something illegal on Gryzzl.

465
00:20:35,304 --> 00:20:37,147
If we're gonna stop them,
and you're gonna beat them

466
00:20:37,162 --> 00:20:40,051
on the Newport land,
we need more ammo.

467
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:47,471
We need to talk.

468
00:20:47,487 --> 00:20:48,703
What is that?

469
00:20:48,728 --> 00:20:51,772
This is a flying robot
I just shot out of the sky

470
00:20:51,787 --> 00:20:54,086
after it delivered
a package to my house.

471
00:20:54,110 --> 00:20:57,113
I thought you didn't like
to pass judgment on business—

472
00:20:57,128 --> 00:20:59,902
The package was
addressed to my son,

473
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,913
who is four years old,

474
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:04,593
and does not own
a Gryzzl doodad.

475
00:21:04,613 --> 00:21:07,041
Somehow the robots looked
at Diane's computer

476
00:21:07,064 --> 00:21:11,111
and learned something about my child
and then brought him a box of presents,

477
00:21:11,131 --> 00:21:12,811
so I destroyed the robot.

478
00:21:13,662 --> 00:21:15,959
No one is safe from
these bastards.

479
00:21:15,982 --> 00:21:17,467
Tell me what
to do, Leslie.

480
00:21:18,731 --> 00:21:20,287
I wanna help you
take them down.

481
00:21:23,835 --> 00:21:30,835
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther