1
00:00:01,488 --> 00:00:03,692
In front of you are six
different wedding cakes

2
00:00:03,707 --> 00:00:05,403
from the top restaurants
in Pawnee.

3
00:00:05,418 --> 00:00:08,782
Sample each one, and rank your two top
favorites in the ballots provided.

4
00:00:08,806 --> 00:00:12,087
Oh, boy. They're all so good.
I can't pick just two.

5
00:00:12,102 --> 00:00:13,228
Well, then you leave, Terry.

6
00:00:13,243 --> 00:00:14,853
And pay for the cake
you already ate.

7
00:00:14,875 --> 00:00:16,282
I like the vanilla one
with the lemon cream.

8
00:00:16,297 --> 00:00:17,985
That was a joke cake I got

9
00:00:18,001 --> 00:00:21,071
from the grocery store to weed
out low-quality palates.

10
00:00:21,094 --> 00:00:24,618
Maybe it's because he's my
fiance, and I love him,

11
00:00:24,633 --> 00:00:27,329
but I kind of like
the grocery store one, too.

12
00:00:27,345 --> 00:00:29,652
There's actually one more cake
you haven't tried yet.

13
00:00:29,671 --> 00:00:32,319
Donna has chosen me to be the
butler of honor at her wedding.

14
00:00:32,342 --> 00:00:34,796
Now granted, butler of honor is
a term I made up,

15
00:00:34,804 --> 00:00:36,569
but it's not a job
I take lightly.

16
00:00:36,584 --> 00:00:39,162
That's why I'm about to
give her a surprise bigger

17
00:00:39,185 --> 00:00:41,377
than when LeBron
went back to Miami.

18
00:00:41,977 --> 00:00:43,880
Oh, my God.
DJ Bluntz?

19
00:00:44,263 --> 00:00:45,614
What is happening
right now?

20
00:00:45,639 --> 00:00:47,058
I think you know
what's happening.

21
00:00:47,073 --> 00:00:49,179
But—but for real, though.
What—what's happening?

22
00:00:52,578 --> 00:00:53,844
Treat yo' self.

23
00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:57,797
Oh, my God, is this for real?

24
00:00:57,812 --> 00:00:58,999
- Oh, it's for real.
- Okay.

25
00:00:59,014 --> 00:01:00,357
And it's the biggest
one yet.

26
00:01:00,382 --> 00:01:02,601
I-I still don't know what's happening.
So what's happening?

27
00:01:02,616 --> 00:01:03,493
Treat yo' self.

28
00:01:03,516 --> 00:01:04,982
Not an answer
to my question.

29
00:01:05,006 --> 00:01:06,152
Oh, my God, read the cake.

30
00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,193
Still unclear. Terry,
w-what's happening?

31
00:01:08,209 --> 00:01:09,392
Treat yo' self!

32
00:01:23,065 --> 00:01:31,065
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

33
00:01:31,538 --> 00:01:34,610
Roscoe, people in this
town are very angry

34
00:01:34,625 --> 00:01:37,352
about Gryzzl's
data-mining program.

35
00:01:37,367 --> 00:01:39,461
In your opinion, have you
done anything wrong?

36
00:01:39,484 --> 00:01:44,211
We did not believe that we did anything
to invade people's privacy, Trodd.

37
00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:47,381
But then, we checked
thousands of emails and texts

38
00:01:47,396 --> 00:01:49,404
between our customers
and their loved ones,

39
00:01:49,427 --> 00:01:51,506
and it seemed like people
thought we were wrong.

40
00:01:51,521 --> 00:01:55,498
Gryzzl's currently trying to buy
an enormous parcel of land

41
00:01:55,513 --> 00:01:59,528
to build a permanent
headquarters in Pawnee.

42
00:01:59,548 --> 00:02:01,892
How will you win
back our trust?

43
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:06,469
We're going to be throwing a free
concert with U2 and Beyonce.

44
00:02:06,485 --> 00:02:08,206
Tickets are already
on your phones.

45
00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:11,581
Seating is going to be organized
by income and sexual history.

46
00:02:11,597 --> 00:02:16,198
And that, I swear, is the last time that
we will be peeking inside your computers.

47
00:02:16,221 --> 00:02:18,964
Wow. Gryzzl is scrambling.

48
00:02:18,979 --> 00:02:20,704
And for the first time
in this land battle,

49
00:02:20,723 --> 00:02:22,718
they are vulnerable,
and we are gonna capitalize

50
00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:23,992
on it with something
big and exciting.

51
00:02:24,008 --> 00:02:25,843
I've got something
big and exciting.

52
00:02:25,862 --> 00:02:29,331
All we need is a blimp
and a decoy blimp.

53
00:02:29,346 --> 00:02:33,534
Okay, for what I hope is the last time,
but will assume is not the last time,

54
00:02:33,549 --> 00:02:36,932
our strategy does not involve blimps.
We already have an idea. April?

55
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:40,384
Okay, our new proposal will
ask them to split the land.

56
00:02:40,402 --> 00:02:42,170
Gryzzl will take half
for their campus,

57
00:02:42,186 --> 00:02:44,147
and then donate the rest
to National Parks.

58
00:02:44,169 --> 00:02:47,558
It's not ideal, but they may go for it
because of how bad they screwed up.

59
00:02:47,583 --> 00:02:51,491
I am not a spy, and I would never
reveal classified information.

60
00:02:51,513 --> 00:02:53,953
- Do you have to say
that every time? - Yes.

61
00:02:54,695 --> 00:02:58,679
But I know Gryzzl is dead-set on
owning the entire parcel.

62
00:02:58,703 --> 00:03:00,531
I'm not sure this
plan will work.

63
00:03:00,546 --> 00:03:01,674
Well, if it doesn't,
something will.

64
00:03:01,689 --> 00:03:04,533
Because when you and I team up,
great things happen.

65
00:03:04,548 --> 00:03:08,085
Ron and I had a little falling
out, but we are back, baby.

66
00:03:08,110 --> 00:03:12,837
And just like Joey Fatone and Lance
Bass, we are totally in sync.

67
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,221
Come on. Okay.

68
00:03:14,701 --> 00:03:15,793
Just give me a...

69
00:03:15,815 --> 00:03:18,484
Oh. We're in sync emotionally.
Stop patting my head.

70
00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:25,725
Huh. Looks like Newport Trust
is making an announcement.

71
00:03:26,351 --> 00:03:31,796
Last week, the Newport Trust told
Gryzzl, in no uncertain terms,

72
00:03:31,818 --> 00:03:36,189
that we would not do business with
a company that invades our privacy.

73
00:03:36,214 --> 00:03:41,777
Then, Gryzzl upped their
offer to $125 million,

74
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:45,410
and I swear to God,
y'all, I nearly fainted.

75
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:52,459
So we are officially jumping the gun
and selling to Gryzzl for $125 million.

76
00:03:52,484 --> 00:03:53,321
What?

77
00:03:53,346 --> 00:03:56,951
Let me repeat that, because
it makes me very horny.

78
00:03:56,967 --> 00:03:59,089
- $125 million!
- Come on, Knope.

79
00:03:59,112 --> 00:04:02,344
How about we go drown
our sorrows in some waffles?

80
00:04:05,084 --> 00:04:06,652
Before you go, can you
sign some checks?

81
00:04:06,665 --> 00:04:07,448
Do mine first.

82
00:04:07,473 --> 00:04:10,105
In case something happens to you
I want to make sure I get paid.

83
00:04:10,128 --> 00:04:12,495
Looking out for number one.
Always smart.

84
00:04:12,511 --> 00:04:16,093
So, how is
post-breakup life?

85
00:04:16,116 --> 00:04:17,903
Well, breakups are
famously super fun

86
00:04:17,919 --> 00:04:20,637
and make everyone feel awesome,
so it's no different.

87
00:04:20,644 --> 00:04:22,199
You should come
to my wedding.

88
00:04:22,214 --> 00:04:23,753
It's gonna be hella fun.

89
00:04:23,778 --> 00:04:25,572
Yeah, you should
come with me.

90
00:04:26,684 --> 00:04:29,301
As like a... plus-one
type thing.

91
00:04:29,324 --> 00:04:32,369
Maybe we just go as, uh...
as work friends.

92
00:04:32,394 --> 00:04:36,339
Maybe it's just even, you know,
boss, employee type thing.

93
00:04:36,355 --> 00:04:37,889
You know what?
That's what you should do.

94
00:04:37,909 --> 00:04:41,791
You should come to the wedding
and—and—and do paperwork.

95
00:04:41,807 --> 00:04:44,544
Stop, you're making this
sound almost too fun.

96
00:04:44,569 --> 00:04:47,239
Whatever. Just text
me when you decide.

97
00:04:47,264 --> 00:04:49,919
I literally couldn't
care less, so...

98
00:04:50,969 --> 00:04:53,027
Yeah. Let's hit it, Donna.

99
00:04:54,290 --> 00:04:58,674
Um, can we talk about that disastrous
interaction you just had with Lucy?

100
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:01,863
Nope. All we're talking
about is treating yo' self.

101
00:05:01,887 --> 00:05:03,362
Today is about one thing:

102
00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:04,379
Things.

103
00:05:04,402 --> 00:05:06,757
Things, Donna.
Our favorite.

104
00:05:06,782 --> 00:05:10,161
Well, where is Bluntz taking us?
This is not the way to the mall.

105
00:05:10,183 --> 00:05:12,581
That's 'cause we're not
going to the mall.

106
00:05:13,342 --> 00:05:16,279
We're finally gonna do something
we've always talked about.

107
00:05:16,287 --> 00:05:17,506
No way.

108
00:05:17,528 --> 00:05:18,652
Treat yo' self.

109
00:05:19,899 --> 00:05:22,469
Aah!

110
00:05:22,915 --> 00:05:26,212
All I wanted was 25
square miles of land

111
00:05:26,227 --> 00:05:29,461
valued at $100 million
given to me for free.

112
00:05:29,469 --> 00:05:31,602
- Is that too much to ask?
- I'll say it again:

113
00:05:31,617 --> 00:05:33,543
Voodoo is still an option.

114
00:05:33,568 --> 00:05:36,100
No. It's over.
They won.

115
00:05:36,114 --> 00:05:39,795
Everything is changing. This town is
going to be unrecognizable in ten years.

116
00:05:39,810 --> 00:05:41,717
Even JJ's Diner
is disappearing.

117
00:05:41,739 --> 00:05:42,929
What can I get you guys?

118
00:05:42,941 --> 00:05:45,332
However many waffles it takes
to keep you in business.

119
00:05:45,347 --> 00:05:48,234
I'm happy with some of the changes
that Pawnee has gone through.

120
00:05:48,252 --> 00:05:50,049
I mean, the standard
of living is up.

121
00:05:50,070 --> 00:05:54,474
We have pressed juice bars and
yoga studios and a pet hotel.

122
00:05:54,499 --> 00:05:57,242
But I think the town is
losing some of its charm.

123
00:05:57,265 --> 00:05:59,467
And there's too
much kale now.

124
00:05:59,478 --> 00:06:03,304
One place asked me if I wanted
kale in my milkshake.

125
00:06:03,805 --> 00:06:05,552
My milkshake, you guys.

126
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,762
Even though I'm a firm
believer in the free market,

127
00:06:08,787 --> 00:06:12,209
and your failure as a businessman
is ultimately to blame,

128
00:06:12,232 --> 00:06:14,499
it's still a travesty
your diner is closing.

129
00:06:14,511 --> 00:06:15,811
Well, I agree with you.

130
00:06:15,827 --> 00:06:17,193
But the guy who
bought the property

131
00:06:17,217 --> 00:06:20,146
didn't even give me a chance
to re-up the lease.

132
00:06:20,161 --> 00:06:21,640
You can't win 'em all.

133
00:06:22,678 --> 00:06:24,904
No. Enough is enough.

134
00:06:24,911 --> 00:06:29,197
They may have taken that land, but I will
be damned if they take my waffles.

135
00:06:30,325 --> 00:06:32,567
- JJ...
- Is something wrong?

136
00:06:32,575 --> 00:06:34,474
No, nothing is
ever wrong here.

137
00:06:34,489 --> 00:06:37,206
That's why we are gonna
fight hard to save your diner.

138
00:06:37,226 --> 00:06:40,632
Now you said your new landlord
didn't give you a chance to counter.

139
00:06:40,639 --> 00:06:41,564
Who is it?

140
00:06:41,571 --> 00:06:44,458
It was a company with
a weird-sounding name.

141
00:06:45,069 --> 00:06:47,286
- Hang on.
- Was it Putin?

142
00:06:48,067 --> 00:06:49,858
Voldermort Putin?

143
00:06:49,873 --> 00:06:51,157
Of Russia?

144
00:06:51,182 --> 00:06:52,604
I'd love to take
that bastard down.

145
00:06:52,626 --> 00:06:56,389
Here it is.
Thigh Gap, LLC.

146
00:06:56,414 --> 00:07:00,193
- Owner Dennis Feinstein.
- The cologne guy?

147
00:07:00,218 --> 00:07:02,577
Oh, it figures.
That guy is the worst.

148
00:07:02,593 --> 00:07:03,429
Okay.

149
00:07:03,443 --> 00:07:07,171
We are gonna take him down with
an old-fashioned public rally.

150
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:08,524
April, I need you to
get the word out,

151
00:07:08,547 --> 00:07:11,578
with whatever method of communication
young people are using these days.

152
00:07:11,586 --> 00:07:14,969
Oh, yeah, tiny rolled-up scrolls
delivered by trained foxes.

153
00:07:14,992 --> 00:07:16,078
- I'm on it.
- Andy?

154
00:07:16,101 --> 00:07:18,774
- You thinking what I'm thinking?
- Oh, hell yeah. Blimp time.

155
00:07:18,789 --> 00:07:19,848
No.

156
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:22,525
I think this is a job for
Jonathan Karate.

157
00:07:22,541 --> 00:07:25,760
- Awesome. Even better.
- Ron? What do you say?

158
00:07:25,775 --> 00:07:28,955
Dynamic duo get together one more
time to try to save JJ's Diner?

159
00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:32,963
I can't think of anything more noble
to go to war over than bacon and eggs.

160
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,525
Here here.

161
00:07:34,550 --> 00:07:36,200
Oh, well...

162
00:07:38,059 --> 00:07:39,560
We'll keep practicing.

163
00:07:42,772 --> 00:07:43,904
All right, everybody, listen up.

164
00:07:44,966 --> 00:07:49,925
We're here today because JJ's Diner has
been a part of Pawnee for 41 years.

165
00:07:49,940 --> 00:07:53,418
And this man right here built
that diner from the ground up

166
00:07:53,425 --> 00:07:54,679
with his own two hands.

167
00:07:54,703 --> 00:07:55,562
That's not true.

168
00:07:55,585 --> 00:07:57,436
It's called constructing
a narrative, JJ.

169
00:07:57,459 --> 00:07:59,725
You stick to the breakfast.
I'll deal with the politics.

170
00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:04,721
So, now, let's hear from a man who knows
the value of things staying the same.

171
00:08:04,740 --> 00:08:05,537
Ron Swanson.

172
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,801
I do not like rallies.

173
00:08:10,807 --> 00:08:15,222
And based on what I see from this vantage
point, I do not like most of you.

174
00:08:15,237 --> 00:08:17,878
What I do like is
breakfast food.

175
00:08:17,893 --> 00:08:22,149
JJ's has very good breakfast
food, so it should remain open.

176
00:08:22,932 --> 00:08:27,370
Please do not approach me on the street
after this event and attempt to talk to me.

177
00:08:27,393 --> 00:08:30,673
Our similarities begin and end
with this single issue.

178
00:08:30,698 --> 00:08:31,785
Ron Swanson.

179
00:08:36,095 --> 00:08:38,982
- Can I help you? - Yes, we are
here to see Dennis Feinstein.

180
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:40,836
The appointment should be
under Karate.

181
00:08:40,852 --> 00:08:42,301
Jonathan Karate.

182
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:46,086
Um, I don't see a Jonathan
Karate anywhere.

183
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:47,343
Exactly.

184
00:08:48,993 --> 00:08:53,370
Occasionally on my show, we deal with
real issues like bullying, peer pressure,

185
00:08:53,393 --> 00:08:55,545
or holding in farts.

186
00:08:55,570 --> 00:08:58,779
In those very special
episodes, I become...

187
00:08:58,804 --> 00:09:00,547
Jonathan Karate,

188
00:09:00,569 --> 00:09:02,707
the very serious older brother
of Johnny Karate.

189
00:09:02,730 --> 00:09:05,941
Jonathan Karate
tells it like it is.

190
00:09:05,964 --> 00:09:08,300
He makes people do
the right thing.

191
00:09:08,323 --> 00:09:10,941
Oh, baby, that
feels amazing.

192
00:09:10,956 --> 00:09:12,613
But I'm sorry.
I'm gonna have to go.

193
00:09:12,634 --> 00:09:15,415
I have to meet Rick and TC
at the King Kamehameha Club.

194
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,823
- Higgins is missing.
- Dennis Feinstein.

195
00:09:17,846 --> 00:09:19,294
What?
Who's that?

196
00:09:19,319 --> 00:09:21,397
My name is Jonathan Karate.

197
00:09:21,420 --> 00:09:22,554
We need to talk.

198
00:09:22,565 --> 00:09:26,126
Well, make it quick. I gotta go pull
the plug on my dad in ten minutes.

199
00:09:26,141 --> 00:09:29,017
I heard you were buying JJ's
Diner and kicking everybody out.

200
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:29,814
That's true.

201
00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:32,494
Real estate prices in this
turd town are through the roof.

202
00:09:32,519 --> 00:09:36,224
I'm gonna turn that place into
an elbow art salon and make a killing.

203
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:38,942
Plus, who's gonna miss
some dumpy diner?

204
00:09:39,976 --> 00:09:43,788
Why don't you ask the people gathering
outside of your building right now?

205
00:09:43,811 --> 00:09:45,413
- Hmm?
- What do we want?

206
00:09:45,428 --> 00:09:47,580
- Breakfast!
- When do we want it?

207
00:09:48,117 --> 00:09:50,007
I had no idea this
place was so loved.

208
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:53,412
- This could be bad for business.
- Then come with me.

209
00:09:53,431 --> 00:09:56,102
Tell the people
that JJ's can stay.

210
00:09:56,810 --> 00:09:57,999
Okay.

211
00:09:58,666 --> 00:10:00,625
Plus, you should get
these kids out of here.

212
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:04,271
Not to brag, but my cologne's have been
known to stunt human growth, so...

213
00:10:04,296 --> 00:10:05,941
Ninjas, scatter.

214
00:10:08,515 --> 00:10:09,484
You got 'em well trained.

215
00:10:25,787 --> 00:10:27,441
- Right here, please.
- Right here, right here.

216
00:10:27,466 --> 00:10:29,330
Ladies and gentlemen, off to
our right you can see the house

217
00:10:29,345 --> 00:10:32,220
that belongs to Bruce Willis
and Christina Aguilera.

218
00:10:32,244 --> 00:10:36,570
And to our left is Usher's
Los Angeles residence.

219
00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:38,595
Usher's house!

220
00:10:41,044 --> 00:10:42,578
Usher's star!

221
00:10:48,819 --> 00:10:51,734
So for the basic
elbow bedazzling, it's 140.

222
00:10:51,742 --> 00:10:53,797
Custom art starts at 250.

223
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:56,976
I would like three
big-ass diamonds

224
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,992
surrounded by their own
set of tiny-ass diamonds.

225
00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:02,238
That would fall under
our supreme collection.

226
00:11:02,254 --> 00:11:03,090
600.

227
00:11:03,108 --> 00:11:06,854
- Thomas, what do you suggest?
- Uh... treat yo' self.

228
00:11:06,879 --> 00:11:08,567
Trish, the gentleman is right.

229
00:11:08,582 --> 00:11:10,457
I'm gonna go ahead
and treat myself.

230
00:11:10,472 --> 00:11:12,528
Lasik for fingernails?
I came up with that.

231
00:11:12,553 --> 00:11:14,249
You want it? It's 275.

232
00:11:15,351 --> 00:11:16,546
Yeah.

233
00:11:16,569 --> 00:11:18,273
Laser my nails off, please.

234
00:11:18,288 --> 00:11:20,948
We can't bulldoze
our entire history.

235
00:11:20,967 --> 00:11:24,201
We need to preserve the things
that make Pawnee great.

236
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,561
Like JJ's Diner.

237
00:11:27,529 --> 00:11:30,694
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa. Stop the clock.

238
00:11:30,719 --> 00:11:33,805
Oh, speak of the devil. Ladies
and gentlemen, the devil, Dennis Feinstein.

239
00:11:33,828 --> 00:11:35,726
Whoa, hey, now.

240
00:11:35,744 --> 00:11:37,057
Hang on.

241
00:11:37,082 --> 00:11:40,676
Now, Leslie, I think everybody's gonna
want to hear what I have to say.

242
00:11:41,210 --> 00:11:42,385
Thank you.

243
00:11:43,039 --> 00:11:44,758
People of Pawnee,

244
00:11:44,773 --> 00:11:47,143
I just came down here
to tell you

245
00:11:47,168 --> 00:11:49,731
how much I appreciate
your passion.

246
00:11:49,746 --> 00:11:52,387
You've been heard,
loud and clear.

247
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,209
You convinced me.

248
00:11:54,217 --> 00:11:56,701
- JJ's can stay.
- Yeah!

249
00:11:59,243 --> 00:12:01,536
I just have one more
thing to say, Pawnee.

250
00:12:01,550 --> 00:12:03,197
Psych!

251
00:12:03,212 --> 00:12:05,861
Do you think I care about how
much you love this stupid diner?

252
00:12:05,877 --> 00:12:08,939
I bought it for a song, and I'm
gonna sell it for a mint,

253
00:12:08,964 --> 00:12:12,094
and you can all just sit
there, pulling on your puds.

254
00:12:14,186 --> 00:12:18,686
Oh, yeah. Give me your boos.
I am nourished by your hatred!

255
00:12:18,709 --> 00:12:22,030
I should also let you know you're all
trespassing on private property.

256
00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:24,152
- Release the hounds!
- What hounds?

257
00:12:24,166 --> 00:12:27,263
"The Hounds" as in FDA-rejected
cologne I've been working on

258
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,502
that makes everything
smell like wet dog.

259
00:12:29,527 --> 00:12:30,980
Make it rain!

260
00:12:39,448 --> 00:12:42,417
Ooh. I gotta go kill my dad.
Let's go.

261
00:12:43,075 --> 00:12:46,138
I'm sorry, JJ, that
I gave you false hope.

262
00:12:46,153 --> 00:12:48,888
This is a lost cause,
just like my stupid park.

263
00:12:48,907 --> 00:12:51,082
Screw that. There's gotta
be another way.

264
00:12:51,657 --> 00:12:54,602
What if we steal the keys
to Feinstein's building,

265
00:12:54,627 --> 00:12:57,372
break in, and TP his office?

266
00:12:57,397 --> 00:13:00,125
Film the whole thing. We'd definitely
get on a prank show.

267
00:13:00,140 --> 00:13:01,839
Okay, I love your
energy, Andy,

268
00:13:01,863 --> 00:13:04,419
but it's not gonna help us
keep JJ's where it is.

269
00:13:04,437 --> 00:13:06,328
Does it have to
stay where it is?

270
00:13:06,343 --> 00:13:08,562
There's like, a ton of buildings
near where Andy and I live,

271
00:13:08,585 --> 00:13:11,462
and they're all super cheap because
they're empty and disgusting.

272
00:13:11,485 --> 00:13:14,796
Great. I'm in. Anything to get
away from this cologne smell.

273
00:13:14,804 --> 00:13:17,058
Ooh, water makes it worse.
Water makes it worse.

274
00:13:20,208 --> 00:13:22,317
This is the hottest
restaurant in L.A.

275
00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:24,271
All the sushi is
made from fish

276
00:13:24,286 --> 00:13:25,972
previously owned
by celebrities.

277
00:13:25,987 --> 00:13:27,203
Okay.

278
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,551
This is Charlize
Theron's yellowtail.

279
00:13:29,573 --> 00:13:31,676
Here we have
Paul Reiser's salmon.

280
00:13:31,691 --> 00:13:34,263
And Peter Bogdanovich's
saltwater eel.

281
00:13:34,286 --> 00:13:35,272
Enjoy.

282
00:13:35,757 --> 00:13:38,748
Mmm, Bogdano-delish.

283
00:13:40,394 --> 00:13:42,050
Man, you got it bad.

284
00:13:42,057 --> 00:13:43,657
I know you're checking your
phone every five minutes

285
00:13:43,672 --> 00:13:45,293
to see if Lucy will come
with you to my wedding.

286
00:13:45,308 --> 00:13:47,714
- I'm sorry.
- Hey, I understand.

287
00:13:47,722 --> 00:13:49,042
Which is why I got
you something.

288
00:13:49,058 --> 00:13:52,253
Hey, you're not supposed to get me
anything. This is your special day.

289
00:13:52,278 --> 00:13:54,189
I didn't buy you anything.

290
00:13:54,214 --> 00:13:56,014
What I have for you is
a piece of advice.

291
00:13:56,025 --> 00:13:59,124
Aw, damn. I was secretly hoping you
got me the shoes Jaden Smith wears

292
00:13:59,149 --> 00:14:00,713
in Hitch 2: Son of a Hitch.

293
00:14:00,738 --> 00:14:03,149
My advice to you is,
if you want to be Lucy,

294
00:14:03,156 --> 00:14:04,751
you have to be up front
with her about it.

295
00:14:04,766 --> 00:14:07,623
- Be a man and ask her out.
- She works for me.

296
00:14:07,648 --> 00:14:10,476
She uprooted her whole life to
move to Pawnee for this job.

297
00:14:10,498 --> 00:14:12,920
I don't want to make it weird.
And what if she says no?

298
00:14:12,945 --> 00:14:14,572
What if I'm the only one
that caught feelings?

299
00:14:14,596 --> 00:14:16,135
You won't know
until you ask.

300
00:14:16,158 --> 00:14:19,320
Basically, Tommy, when it comes
to matters of the heart, I say:

301
00:14:19,950 --> 00:14:21,678
Treat yo' self.

302
00:14:21,693 --> 00:14:23,530
Thanks, Donna.
That's a great gift.

303
00:14:24,232 --> 00:14:25,654
I almost forgot.

304
00:14:25,669 --> 00:14:27,494
I did get you them shoes
from Hitch 2!

305
00:14:27,509 --> 00:14:29,742
Oh, snap. That's an even
better gift.

306
00:14:29,766 --> 00:14:30,694
That's not all.

307
00:14:30,719 --> 00:14:33,375
Look behind you,
but don't be obvious.

308
00:14:33,393 --> 00:14:37,115
Can I get the "me"
soft-shell crab?

309
00:14:37,138 --> 00:14:38,402
Josh Groban!

310
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,084
He's eating his own sushi!

311
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:42,131
That's the most baller
thing I've ever seen.

312
00:14:44,039 --> 00:14:46,477
Welcome to Beachview
Terrace,

313
00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:49,914
the sad, unsalvageable,
broken-down armpit of Pawnee.

314
00:14:49,937 --> 00:14:52,643
Yeah, we tried to clean up
this neighborhood so many times.

315
00:14:52,668 --> 00:14:55,619
Nothing's worked. We sent a street
cleaner through here a few months ago.

316
00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:57,441
Raccoons ate the wheels
right off it.

317
00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:59,536
Councilman Dexhart
represents this district,

318
00:14:59,551 --> 00:15:02,674
and ten years ago when he was
elected, he promised to clean it up.

319
00:15:02,699 --> 00:15:06,443
Instead, he just gave it a fancy
new name: Beachview Terrace.

320
00:15:06,468 --> 00:15:08,638
A more accurate name
for this place?

321
00:15:08,663 --> 00:15:10,990
Medical Waste
Butt-Sweat Grove.

322
00:15:12,106 --> 00:15:14,905
Hi, sorry I'm late.

323
00:15:14,930 --> 00:15:18,977
We've had this listing for seven years,
and no one's ever asked to see it.

324
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:22,679
I thought this was a prank call.
This place has everything.

325
00:15:22,690 --> 00:15:25,544
Vermin, bullet holes,
a hornets nest.

326
00:15:25,559 --> 00:15:28,912
Look, I appreciate everything
that you guys have done for me,

327
00:15:28,935 --> 00:15:33,087
but even if I put in the time and the money
to refurbish this trash heap,

328
00:15:33,111 --> 00:15:34,659
it's not gonna
change the fact

329
00:15:34,679 --> 00:15:37,898
that no respectable people live in
this part of town anymore.

330
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:41,343
- Damn straight. - Everything would
have to magically change.

331
00:15:41,834 --> 00:15:44,240
The whole neighborhood would
have to suddenly become safe

332
00:15:44,256 --> 00:15:48,207
and clean and have businesses
and people who dine out.

333
00:15:48,223 --> 00:15:50,020
No, then we'd have
to move again.

334
00:15:50,043 --> 00:15:51,816
- Are you thinking...
- It's possible.

335
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,247
How would we...

336
00:15:53,824 --> 00:15:54,832
PR.

337
00:15:54,857 --> 00:15:57,519
- Which you could then—
- Yes, right. Okay, good.

338
00:15:57,542 --> 00:16:00,698
Guys, we have about five days to
do three months worth of work.

339
00:16:00,721 --> 00:16:03,683
But if we pull it off,
we can rescue JJ's Diner,

340
00:16:03,698 --> 00:16:05,090
we can establish
a new National Park,

341
00:16:05,114 --> 00:16:06,965
and we can save Pawnee forever.
Who's in?

342
00:16:06,985 --> 00:16:08,291
I am.

343
00:16:08,316 --> 00:16:10,425
Oh, my God.
Where'd you come from?

344
00:16:10,448 --> 00:16:12,127
The floor hole.

345
00:16:15,254 --> 00:16:16,707
Hey, how was your trip?

346
00:16:16,722 --> 00:16:18,035
Great, obviously.

347
00:16:18,057 --> 00:16:20,519
Bedazzled that elbow.
How's everything here?

348
00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:21,979
Uneventful.

349
00:16:22,004 --> 00:16:25,678
So, I was thinking about the idea
of going to Donna's wedding.

350
00:16:25,703 --> 00:16:28,250
Wait. Before you
say anything,

351
00:16:28,272 --> 00:16:29,884
I don't think you should
go to Donna's wedding

352
00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:31,243
- to supervise catering.
- Oh.

353
00:16:31,263 --> 00:16:34,005
I want you to come
with me as my date.

354
00:16:34,028 --> 00:16:36,076
- Oh.
- The thing is, you work for me,

355
00:16:36,099 --> 00:16:38,584
so it's probably kind of
uncool for me to even ask.

356
00:16:38,606 --> 00:16:41,001
Which is why I signed
these documents

357
00:16:41,012 --> 00:16:44,681
transferring day-to-day operations
of Tom's Bistro over to Craig.

358
00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:46,138
He'll be your boss now.
Not me.

359
00:16:46,161 --> 00:16:47,528
It's about time.

360
00:16:47,551 --> 00:16:50,606
We're losing the cranberry
salad, effective immediately.

361
00:16:50,621 --> 00:16:53,044
- You don't have to do this.
- Yeah, I do.

362
00:16:53,069 --> 00:16:55,179
You're great at your job, and I want
you working here forever,

363
00:16:55,194 --> 00:16:56,507
and if you don't have
feelings for me,

364
00:16:56,522 --> 00:16:59,934
I need you to know that
everything is gonna be fine.

365
00:17:00,655 --> 00:17:02,019
In fact, forget it.

366
00:17:02,044 --> 00:17:03,999
I wasn't even serious.
You've been hoaxed.

367
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:06,026
- You've been Tommy'ed.
- Just, hold on.

368
00:17:06,045 --> 00:17:09,296
I was gonna say that I wouldn't
want to go with you as friends.

369
00:17:09,315 --> 00:17:12,492
I want to go with
you as your date.

370
00:17:12,517 --> 00:17:14,222
Oh. Cool.

371
00:17:14,714 --> 00:17:16,150
Craig, never mind.

372
00:17:16,157 --> 00:17:17,657
We can rip these
papers up.

373
00:17:17,672 --> 00:17:19,807
Well, I wish my reign
had lasted longer,

374
00:17:19,826 --> 00:17:22,693
but I'm happy with the decisions
I made and the people I fired.

375
00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:24,582
Oh, God. I better
get back there.

376
00:17:25,779 --> 00:17:27,313
You guys, I don't know
what this is about,

377
00:17:27,335 --> 00:17:30,373
but it's 4:13, so you
got seven minutes.

378
00:17:30,398 --> 00:17:34,835
Well, we just wanted to introduce you
to the new home of the Gryzzl campus.

379
00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:37,185
Are you tripping?

380
00:17:37,210 --> 00:17:40,514
We just spent $125 million

381
00:17:40,539 --> 00:17:42,992
to build our new campus in the
Southern Indiana Foothills.

382
00:17:43,012 --> 00:17:45,832
And you'll be spending another
100 million, at least,

383
00:17:45,846 --> 00:17:49,249
to construct the building,
roads, plumbing, electrical.

384
00:17:49,259 --> 00:17:51,790
Whereas here
at Beachview Terrace,

385
00:17:51,798 --> 00:17:56,049
you can take over five entire
square blocks of historic Pawnee.

386
00:17:56,767 --> 00:18:00,779
Here's a complete proposal for Gryzzl's new
regional corporate headquarters.

387
00:18:00,804 --> 00:18:02,351
Is this paper?

388
00:18:02,361 --> 00:18:04,189
Oh, super throwback.

389
00:18:04,204 --> 00:18:06,077
My company inspected
all the buildings.

390
00:18:06,099 --> 00:18:09,151
They are disgusting, I grant
you, but the guts are solid.

391
00:18:09,166 --> 00:18:12,475
We've laid out construction
costs, retail space options.

392
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:14,819
You could build a much bigger
campus in this neighborhood,

393
00:18:14,841 --> 00:18:16,280
and basically break even.

394
00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:19,899
Plus, the best part, all the
buildings come pre-graffitied.

395
00:18:19,914 --> 00:18:22,828
That's true. We wouldn't
have to hire Banksy.

396
00:18:22,851 --> 00:18:26,989
Okay, but we spent hella
skrilla on this trill forest,

397
00:18:27,014 --> 00:18:29,225
so, what are we supposed
to do with that?

398
00:18:29,232 --> 00:18:31,005
Here's a far-out idea

399
00:18:31,029 --> 00:18:34,487
that just came to the top
of my branium:

400
00:18:34,497 --> 00:18:38,343
Why don't you donate that land
to the National Parks Service?

401
00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:39,962
That would be pretty dope.

402
00:18:39,977 --> 00:18:42,034
And you could get some
baller tax breaks

403
00:18:42,049 --> 00:18:43,969
that could help
you with that mad

404
00:18:43,994 --> 00:18:46,439
stank construction cost— I don't
know, I'm sorry. I can't...

405
00:18:46,447 --> 00:18:47,807
- I can't say those words.
- You don't have to.

406
00:18:47,832 --> 00:18:50,111
Okay, but why couldn't we just
build the campus here,

407
00:18:50,133 --> 00:18:52,220
and then keep
the land or sell it?

408
00:18:52,235 --> 00:18:55,579
You could, but donating it
will give you some good PR,

409
00:18:55,594 --> 00:18:57,032
which you
desperately need.

410
00:18:57,047 --> 00:18:59,877
I mean, look, we are glad
that you picked Pawnee,

411
00:18:59,897 --> 00:19:02,953
but if you're gonna
set up shop here,

412
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,129
you need to make
a covenant with the city.

413
00:19:05,154 --> 00:19:07,079
Show people that you're
invested in this town.

414
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:11,581
Start by cleaning up
one part of Pawnee

415
00:19:11,596 --> 00:19:13,350
and preserving the other.

416
00:19:13,956 --> 00:19:17,772
Okay, well, I gotta talk to my board,
as well as our chief legal counsel,

417
00:19:17,795 --> 00:19:19,402
and our senior
advisory team.

418
00:19:19,425 --> 00:19:23,230
And—and truthfully, they're all shrooming
super hard at Coachella right now.

419
00:19:23,253 --> 00:19:24,838
But as soon as they get back,
I'll get into it.

420
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:29,006
We gotta go.
I'm sorry, we got a meeting.

421
00:19:29,964 --> 00:19:32,315
Uh, I'll catch you guys later.
I've got a meeting as well.

422
00:19:32,323 --> 00:19:34,393
Uh, see you back
at the house.

423
00:19:34,416 --> 00:19:36,127
Andy has a meeting?

424
00:19:36,708 --> 00:19:38,079
Upload it to my GryzzlGlass.

425
00:19:38,104 --> 00:19:40,345
Left eye. I'm watching
porn with my right eye.

426
00:19:40,370 --> 00:19:41,623
Whoa.

427
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:46,229
Who... did... this?

428
00:19:48,135 --> 00:19:49,204
We did.

429
00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:53,136
One way or another, Jonathan
Karate always gets his man.

430
00:19:53,161 --> 00:19:55,981
And like that,
they were gone.

431
00:19:57,850 --> 00:19:58,962
Go!

432
00:20:00,311 --> 00:20:02,577
Wait, where's— hey, guys, where's Gavin?
Gav—wait, stop.

433
00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:05,084
There were supposed to be six ninjas.
Where's Gavin? Gavin?

434
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:06,894
Who was Gavin's buddy?
Caleb?

435
00:20:06,902 --> 00:20:08,894
Come on, dude, why do we
even have a buddy system?

436
00:20:08,902 --> 00:20:11,394
Is he in the bathroom? You need
to tell me if Gavin is pooping.

437
00:20:11,409 --> 00:20:12,910
No, do not laugh, okay?

438
00:20:12,935 --> 00:20:15,373
You're not even Caleb. You're Gavin.
You're Caleb.

439
00:20:15,388 --> 00:20:18,332
If you're Caleb, where's Hunter?
Hunter? Hunter?

440
00:20:18,357 --> 00:20:19,747
Okay, who was
Hunter's buddy?

441
00:20:19,772 --> 00:20:20,978
Hmm?

442
00:20:21,716 --> 00:20:22,917
Oh, I was.

443
00:20:23,475 --> 00:20:25,059
Oh, crap.

444
00:20:25,067 --> 00:20:26,567
Oh, Dennis, what a mess.

445
00:20:26,583 --> 00:20:28,877
You have 30 seconds to
get out of this facility.

446
00:20:29,482 --> 00:20:30,724
I don't know, Ron.

447
00:20:30,739 --> 00:20:33,236
I mean, it's been a week.
It might not work.

448
00:20:33,993 --> 00:20:36,295
- It'll work.
- What if it doesn't?

449
00:20:36,313 --> 00:20:39,653
What if we did all that research
and handed Gryzzl a fully-formed plan

450
00:20:39,668 --> 00:20:43,423
to revitalize an entire neighborhood
and build a new National Park,

451
00:20:43,448 --> 00:20:44,913
and their board
still says no?

452
00:20:44,938 --> 00:20:48,593
Then you'll be secure in the knowledge
that you gave it your best shot.

453
00:20:49,168 --> 00:20:51,689
But I do really think
they will go for it.

454
00:20:51,714 --> 00:20:53,378
What makes you so confident?

455
00:20:53,403 --> 00:20:56,825
A wise woman once told me that
whenever you and I team up,

456
00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:58,565
good things happen.

457
00:20:58,585 --> 00:21:01,883
Also, they called three hours
ago, they approved the plan,

458
00:21:01,891 --> 00:21:04,633
and asked me to begin drawings
for the renovation.

459
00:21:06,130 --> 00:21:07,857
You jerk.

460
00:21:07,872 --> 00:21:11,974
You sat on that news and let me
stew here for three hours?

461
00:21:11,989 --> 00:21:13,818
- Yep.
- You jerk!

462
00:21:13,841 --> 00:21:15,443
We did it! You jerk!

463
00:21:15,458 --> 00:21:16,794
- We did it!
- Yep.

464
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:18,581
Congratulations!

465
00:21:20,515 --> 00:21:22,977
- I do not aprove of this.
- Don't care.

466
00:21:23,606 --> 00:21:30,606
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