1
00:00:05,866 --> 00:00:09,659
It's The Johnny Karate Super
Awesome Musical Explosion Show.

2
00:00:10,855 --> 00:00:13,311
Now, to introduce your host,
Johnny Karate,

3
00:00:13,327 --> 00:00:17,183
here is me, Perd Hapley!

4
00:00:18,577 --> 00:00:20,216
Silence!

5
00:00:20,242 --> 00:00:23,108
Welcome to the only show
that's all about learning,

6
00:00:23,114 --> 00:00:29,222
music, animals, fireworks, water skis,
and above all, ice cream, pizza,

7
00:00:29,236 --> 00:00:33,260
ninjas, getting stronger, sharks
versus bears, and above all...

8
00:00:33,273 --> 00:00:34,401
karate!

9
00:00:34,425 --> 00:00:35,899
Hiya!

10
00:00:35,913 --> 00:00:38,576
Now, why don't you kids
help me sing The Welcome Song!

11
00:00:38,596 --> 00:00:40,258
Let me just
grab my guitar.

12
00:00:41,997 --> 00:00:43,900
Someone has
stolen my guitar.

13
00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:48,399
This seems like a case
for Special Agent...

14
00:00:49,434 --> 00:00:50,615
Burt Macklin.

15
00:00:51,308 --> 00:00:55,812
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

16
00:00:56,459 --> 00:00:58,928
I don't give a crap, Batman.
You work for me.

17
00:00:58,940 --> 00:01:00,890
Increase the perimeter!

18
00:01:02,676 --> 00:01:05,221
Macklin, the President's
called six times.

19
00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:08,542
If we don't get that guitar back,
the peace in Iraq will be canceled.

20
00:01:08,554 --> 00:01:11,592
Get off my back, Chief!
I'm doing the best I can.

21
00:01:11,612 --> 00:01:13,107
I don't play by the rules.

22
00:01:13,571 --> 00:01:14,780
But I get results.

23
00:01:14,792 --> 00:01:18,109
Dang it! You're right again, Macklin.
And I'm sorry.

24
00:01:18,122 --> 00:01:21,337
You're the best agent I've seen.
And I've worked with James Bond.

25
00:01:22,241 --> 00:01:23,589
- This clue may help.
- Mm.

26
00:01:23,601 --> 00:01:25,603
It was left
at the crime scene.

27
00:01:25,615 --> 00:01:26,895
You're dismissed.

28
00:01:27,385 --> 00:01:31,196
This case just keeps getting
deeper and deeper.

29
00:01:31,735 --> 00:01:34,010
I'm drowning in the adult
end of the pool,

30
00:01:34,024 --> 00:01:36,683
and the lifeguard's off
in the bathroom pooping.

31
00:01:39,454 --> 00:01:41,410
That's-That's good writing.

32
00:01:41,422 --> 00:01:43,565
Johnny Karate's guitar
has been stolen.

33
00:01:43,577 --> 00:01:46,556
That instrument is worth
literally $900 million.

34
00:01:46,562 --> 00:01:50,078
But more importantly, he can't
play The Good-bye Song without it.

35
00:01:50,086 --> 00:01:51,808
So, by the time
this show is over,

36
00:01:51,823 --> 00:01:55,787
I will find who stole it, and they
will pay the ultimate price.

37
00:01:55,794 --> 00:01:59,699
A one-way ticket to the Funky
Monkey Dunk Tank!

38
00:01:59,705 --> 00:02:05,935
All that and more, on The Johnny Karate
Super Awesome Musical Explosion Show!

39
00:02:25,108 --> 00:02:27,063
So, karate masters, you are here

40
00:02:27,069 --> 00:02:31,133
for an extra-awesome and super-special
episode of Johnny Karate.

41
00:02:33,003 --> 00:02:35,553
And that is because
it's my final show.

42
00:02:35,565 --> 00:02:37,413
Aw.

43
00:02:37,426 --> 00:02:38,807
Don't look glum.

44
00:02:38,819 --> 00:02:41,852
In a couple of weeks, I'll be
moving to Washington, D.C.

45
00:02:41,873 --> 00:02:45,278
It's the capital
of the entire world.

46
00:02:45,293 --> 00:02:48,555
They have things there
like this white house

47
00:02:48,581 --> 00:02:52,051
and this mental
institution

48
00:02:52,066 --> 00:02:55,049
and my very favorite,
the Lincoln Memorial.

49
00:02:55,056 --> 00:02:57,912
It's this crazy statue
of this giant monster

50
00:02:57,924 --> 00:03:00,635
sitting on a chair that represents
all of America's enemies.

51
00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:04,223
I'll be moving to Washington, D.C., because
my wife, April Ludgate-Karate-Dwyer,

52
00:03:04,236 --> 00:03:05,771
has accepted
an amazing job there.

53
00:03:05,784 --> 00:03:08,085
I'm very proud of her
and totally in love.

54
00:03:08,109 --> 00:03:10,985
April, why don't you come on
out and talk to the children?

55
00:03:11,004 --> 00:03:12,626
Take a bow for
being so cool.

56
00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:14,037
Hey, Johnny!

57
00:03:14,757 --> 00:03:17,519
So, since it's your final show,
I wanted to do

58
00:03:17,525 --> 00:03:20,787
one last extra-special
April's Animal Corner.

59
00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:23,638
That's right.

60
00:03:23,652 --> 00:03:26,545
This week I brought
one of the scariest,

61
00:03:26,558 --> 00:03:29,487
weirdest animals
in the whole world—

62
00:03:29,512 --> 00:03:32,284
a goliath bird-eating tarantula.

63
00:03:32,301 --> 00:03:34,552
Wow!

64
00:03:34,559 --> 00:03:35,255
Ah!

65
00:03:35,267 --> 00:03:38,092
Now, the name, "goliath"
means "giant."

66
00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:40,445
And you can see that—

67
00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:43,503
- Andy, where is it?
- What?

68
00:03:43,511 --> 00:03:45,205
- Uh-oh.
- Where is it?

69
00:03:45,219 --> 00:03:46,642
Don't look at me.
I don't know what happened.

70
00:03:46,648 --> 00:03:48,392
I took it out to play
hide-and-seek.

71
00:03:48,398 --> 00:03:51,360
I couldn't find it, and then—
Oh, that's what happened.

72
00:03:51,380 --> 00:03:54,803
Okay, well, once again,
April's Animal Corner has

73
00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,986
turned into one of our
favorite segments—

74
00:03:56,993 --> 00:03:58,946
Loose Animal in the Studio.

75
00:03:58,962 --> 00:04:00,196
Yay!

76
00:04:00,211 --> 00:04:03,881
And as always, when we accidentally end
up doing Loose Animal in the Studio,

77
00:04:03,901 --> 00:04:05,942
we have to show you
this disclaimer.

78
00:04:06,865 --> 00:04:08,165
Boring!

79
00:04:08,191 --> 00:04:10,239
Here's a disclaimer,
I didn't read this disclaimer.

80
00:04:11,814 --> 00:04:13,478
Ooh, good point.

81
00:04:13,839 --> 00:04:15,686
Okay. Done.

82
00:04:16,150 --> 00:04:19,087
Okay, kids, so be on the lookout
for a— What's it called?

83
00:04:19,099 --> 00:04:21,753
A goliath bird-eating
tarantula,

84
00:04:21,765 --> 00:04:25,341
known locally to Venezuelans
as "the devil's fist."

85
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:26,830
Bye, kids!

86
00:04:28,486 --> 00:04:30,521
Okay, kids, well, we've got
a lot of work to do,

87
00:04:30,534 --> 00:04:33,354
performing the Five Karate
Moves to Success.

88
00:04:33,376 --> 00:04:34,487
Sing it with me!

89
00:04:55,029 --> 00:04:57,132
Step one— let's go
make something.

90
00:05:02,022 --> 00:05:03,490
Hello, Carpenter Ron.

91
00:05:03,513 --> 00:05:04,714
How are you doing?

92
00:05:04,733 --> 00:05:08,624
My contract is very specific. I do
not have to answer that question.

93
00:05:08,649 --> 00:05:11,565
This week I am making
a shadowbox frame,

94
00:05:11,586 --> 00:05:15,010
which can be used to display
an object of great value.

95
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:17,914
This one is constructed
with American cherry wood.

96
00:05:17,927 --> 00:05:20,398
Cherry, huh? Now, I have
just one question—

97
00:05:20,411 --> 00:05:23,848
No, the wood does not taste
like cherry. You cannot eat it.

98
00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:27,242
I was not going to eat it, Carpenter Ron.
I was going to lick it.

99
00:05:27,756 --> 00:05:30,199
Always remember, kids,
when you find something new,

100
00:05:30,211 --> 00:05:32,745
you must lick it
before you eat it.

101
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,727
That is incorrect
in a number of ways.

102
00:05:36,009 --> 00:05:38,650
I sure have had some fun
making things with you, son.

103
00:05:38,662 --> 00:05:42,022
Thank you for everything you've done
for the children of this area.

104
00:05:42,028 --> 00:05:43,404
You're welcome, Carpenter Ron.

105
00:05:43,417 --> 00:05:46,253
Hey, kids, this, to me,
seems like a...

106
00:05:48,044 --> 00:05:50,799
You are mistaken.
Remove the graphic.

107
00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:54,685
Well, kids, it's time for our
next "Karate Move to Success."

108
00:05:54,697 --> 00:05:56,244
Let's learn something.

109
00:06:00,869 --> 00:06:03,086
Hello, Professor Smartbrain.

110
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:04,062
Hi, Johnny.

111
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,996
Uh, listen, I don't know
if you got my email,

112
00:06:06,001 --> 00:06:09,630
but I thought that since this is our
final show, maybe we not use the—

113
00:06:11,211 --> 00:06:12,145
Boring buzzer.

114
00:06:15,302 --> 00:06:18,339
Okay, kids, today we're gonna
learn about geography.

115
00:06:18,358 --> 00:06:21,626
Now, you, Johnny, are moving
to Washington, D.C.

116
00:06:21,652 --> 00:06:24,128
I thought what we could talk
about is how fast

117
00:06:24,140 --> 00:06:29,446
you could get there using
an airplane, a train, or a car.

118
00:06:29,467 --> 00:06:33,156
Now, as you can see,
the airplane is the fastest.

119
00:06:33,176 --> 00:06:35,644
Not the fastest.
What about teleporting?

120
00:06:35,658 --> 00:06:39,985
Well, sure, that would be really
fun, but it's impossible.

121
00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:43,229
Nothing is impossible, kids.

122
00:06:43,253 --> 00:06:45,589
Teleportation is impossible.

123
00:06:45,610 --> 00:06:46,944
It's about theoretical physics.

124
00:06:48,688 --> 00:06:50,703
You know, you asked me
to do this. This was a favor—

125
00:06:54,932 --> 00:06:56,677
Morning, Johnny.
Mail call.

126
00:06:59,707 --> 00:07:01,189
Ya!

127
00:07:01,209 --> 00:07:02,436
Hi, Mailman Barry.

128
00:07:02,448 --> 00:07:03,650
Who brought me mail today?

129
00:07:03,658 --> 00:07:06,932
Well, Johnny, you got
over 500 letters

130
00:07:06,937 --> 00:07:09,425
from kids who love you, asking
for you and April to stay.

131
00:07:09,445 --> 00:07:11,920
Aw, babe, did you hear that?

132
00:07:11,927 --> 00:07:14,921
Now, Johnny, you also got
one very special letter.

133
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,065
It's from me.

134
00:07:16,086 --> 00:07:19,239
And on the last day of your show,
I thought I could read it to you.

135
00:07:19,263 --> 00:07:21,491
Aw.

136
00:07:21,503 --> 00:07:25,420
"Dearest Andy, I have never
had a son of my own,

137
00:07:25,432 --> 00:07:27,725
and I just want you to know
that for the past ten years"--

138
00:07:27,737 --> 00:07:29,573
It's time to karate
chop something!

139
00:07:34,256 --> 00:07:36,560
Ninjas, attack!

140
00:07:36,571 --> 00:07:38,575
Oh, jeez.

141
00:07:42,185 --> 00:07:43,479
Disperse!

142
00:07:43,847 --> 00:07:46,583
Remember, never attack
a real postal employee.

143
00:07:46,595 --> 00:07:48,064
We're allowed
to attack Mailman Barry

144
00:07:48,085 --> 00:07:50,794
because he volunteered to
help us with our karate moves.

145
00:07:50,806 --> 00:07:54,100
I kind of thought I'd be holding a piece
of wood or something, but, you know...

146
00:07:54,113 --> 00:07:55,342
always happy to help.

147
00:07:55,361 --> 00:07:58,439
Next up, we're going to try something
new, with my good friend Leslie Knope.

148
00:08:03,367 --> 00:08:06,836
Hey, Johnny Karate, I'm so happy
to be here on your last show ever.

149
00:08:06,843 --> 00:08:10,540
Hi, Leslie. I'm glad you're here
to teach us all how to be brave.

150
00:08:10,559 --> 00:08:12,642
So, Leslie, what are you going
to be trying new this week?

151
00:08:12,662 --> 00:08:16,629
I am going to be taking over
hosting my friend's TV show.

152
00:08:16,634 --> 00:08:17,606
Huh?

153
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:18,845
Isn't that right, April?

154
00:08:18,851 --> 00:08:20,328
That is right.

155
00:08:20,764 --> 00:08:22,957
Johnny, you have
made so many kids

156
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:27,107
and so many parents so happy, that we
wanted to give you a proper send-off.

157
00:08:27,119 --> 00:08:29,861
Andy Dwyer/Johnny Karate,

158
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:32,470
this is your life.

159
00:08:33,776 --> 00:08:36,948
Oh, my gosh, Leslie,
this is amazing.

160
00:08:38,493 --> 00:08:40,232
I don't know what to say...

161
00:08:41,008 --> 00:08:44,599
literally, because normally I have
a script that I have to stick to, but...

162
00:08:45,183 --> 00:08:47,900
I don't know what I'm
supposed to say right now.

163
00:08:48,449 --> 00:08:51,631
- It's kind of a nightmare.
- Okay, you leave that to us, Johnny.

164
00:08:51,651 --> 00:08:55,701
Uh, when we come back, we will take
a look at the journey of Andy Dwyer.

165
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,118
Stay tuned.

166
00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:00,044
"Now listen to some words
from our sponsors,"

167
00:09:00,055 --> 00:09:02,617
are the words I'm
saying right now.

168
00:09:04,402 --> 00:09:08,265
Hire Very Good Building Company
for your construction needs.

169
00:09:08,279 --> 00:09:10,839
Or do not.
I am not a beggar.

170
00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:18,670
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

171
00:09:26,211 --> 00:09:27,614
End of commercial.

172
00:09:28,976 --> 00:09:31,112
The Wamapoke people
have a saying—

173
00:09:31,132 --> 00:09:34,273
"Only one who listens
hears the cry of the wolf."

174
00:09:35,113 --> 00:09:39,065
That advice has been passed down
from generation to generation.

175
00:09:39,086 --> 00:09:42,222
Today I give that
advice to you.

176
00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:45,291
Listen for Coinsy the Wolf
at Wamapoke Casino.

177
00:09:45,304 --> 00:09:48,726
Twice a day, one lucky visitor
will hit the mega-wolf jackpot.

178
00:09:48,739 --> 00:09:51,341
And Coinsy will
howl for you!

179
00:10:04,359 --> 00:10:09,045
The thing we return to now is my
Johnny Karate Show return message.

180
00:10:09,885 --> 00:10:11,667
Welcome back. When
I first met the man

181
00:10:11,687 --> 00:10:14,405
standing next to me, he was not
a cultural phenomenon.

182
00:10:14,419 --> 00:10:17,400
"Phenomenon" means
"to explore a cave."

183
00:10:18,104 --> 00:10:19,810
He was going through
a tough time.

184
00:10:19,835 --> 00:10:22,606
He had just broken both legs
from falling into a pit.

185
00:10:22,618 --> 00:10:24,070
I was super wasted.

186
00:10:24,085 --> 00:10:25,552
- It's a kids' show, Andy.
- Yes, good call.

187
00:10:25,566 --> 00:10:26,827
- Kids' show.
- Good call.

188
00:10:26,850 --> 00:10:30,889
That event set in motion many
wonderful things in my life,

189
00:10:30,900 --> 00:10:32,775
including the building
of the Pawnee Commons.

190
00:10:32,795 --> 00:10:37,040
So, in a weird way, Andy,
I owe it all to you.

191
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,594
And now that the show is ending, I'm
gonna have to start all over again.

192
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:43,029
Hopefully there's a pit in Washington,
D.C., that I could fall into.

193
00:10:43,051 --> 00:10:45,980
Andy pulled his life together,
and he got himself a job

194
00:10:45,985 --> 00:10:48,195
at the shoe-shine
stand in City Hall.

195
00:10:48,208 --> 00:10:50,750
He then became
a bureaucratic assistant.

196
00:10:50,764 --> 00:10:52,079
- Hi, honey.
- Hey. Hi.

197
00:10:52,104 --> 00:10:54,047
He was always enthusiastic.

198
00:10:54,062 --> 00:10:57,766
But he also kept track of his
appointments by writing them on his arm.

199
00:10:58,139 --> 00:10:59,408
Still do.

200
00:10:59,422 --> 00:11:01,089
To commemorate that time
and to make sure

201
00:11:01,108 --> 00:11:02,796
that you never miss
another appointment again,

202
00:11:02,816 --> 00:11:06,559
we have brought you
a monogrammed day planner.

203
00:11:07,839 --> 00:11:10,409
Guys... So sweet.

204
00:11:10,764 --> 00:11:12,937
Thank you. Aw.

205
00:11:13,363 --> 00:11:15,158
Oh, no. I lost it.

206
00:11:15,164 --> 00:11:16,825
The day planner's gone.
I can't find it anywhere.

207
00:11:16,845 --> 00:11:18,106
What?

208
00:11:20,035 --> 00:11:21,747
Fitting, really.

209
00:11:21,772 --> 00:11:26,011
From then, Andy went to England for
a few months to work for a nonprofit.

210
00:11:26,024 --> 00:11:30,598
It was there that he befriended
the 14th Earl of Cornwall-upon-Thames,

211
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:32,287
Sir Edgar Covington.

212
00:11:32,312 --> 00:11:33,506
Ta-da!

213
00:11:33,519 --> 00:11:35,630
Oh, my God, Eddie,
this is amazing!

214
00:11:37,787 --> 00:11:41,522
Andy, I am here in this
weird, flat place,

215
00:11:41,527 --> 00:11:46,931
to name you a loyal and true karate
defender of the Queen's Realm.

216
00:11:50,845 --> 00:11:53,143
Please get down
on one knee.

217
00:11:53,155 --> 00:11:56,470
This honor is bestowed on those
who have shown great achievement

218
00:11:56,489 --> 00:12:00,663
in fields of the arts, learning,
literature, and science.

219
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:03,749
Therefore,
I hereby dub thee

220
00:12:03,770 --> 00:12:06,988
a knight of the Order
of the British Empire.

221
00:12:06,999 --> 00:12:09,517
Hang on, can you
actually do this?

222
00:12:09,536 --> 00:12:12,309
Well, technically, only the Queen
can knight somebody, but

223
00:12:12,322 --> 00:12:14,592
I'm so rich that she
lets me do what I want.

224
00:12:14,607 --> 00:12:17,614
- Would you like to be knighted?
- Oh, no, no, no, no.

225
00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:19,656
No, of course not.
It's Andy's day.

226
00:12:19,669 --> 00:12:21,951
- Dude, I don't mind.
- Oh, then, yes, knight me, please.

227
00:12:21,970 --> 00:12:23,579
Oh, my God, this is amazing!

228
00:12:24,407 --> 00:12:27,029
Winter is coming
for Sir Ben Lightstorm.

229
00:12:27,041 --> 00:12:29,556
- Okay, you're both knights.
- Cool.

230
00:12:29,576 --> 00:12:32,142
Guys, this was
so much fun.

231
00:12:32,156 --> 00:12:35,701
Friend, coworker, musician,
husband, Andy Dwyer—

232
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:36,504
Sir Andy Dwyer.

233
00:12:36,515 --> 00:12:39,686
Sir Andy Dwyer had become so
many things to so many people.

234
00:12:39,699 --> 00:12:42,125
But his greatest creation
was yet to come.

235
00:12:42,145 --> 00:12:45,216
A salute to Johnny Karate
when we come back.

236
00:12:47,498 --> 00:12:51,139
We know what you want— healthy,
natural food that still tastes great.

237
00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:52,282
And we're here to tell you...

238
00:12:52,996 --> 00:12:54,664
It doesn't exist.

239
00:12:56,064 --> 00:12:57,757
Healthy food is for suckers.

240
00:12:57,771 --> 00:13:01,468
It tastes like garbage, and if you say
you like it, you're a chump and a liar.

241
00:13:01,482 --> 00:13:03,758
Be honest. This is what
you want to eat...

242
00:13:06,626 --> 00:13:08,123
It tastes amazing.

243
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:11,478
What's in it? Who cares? How
many calories? Shut up.

244
00:13:11,497 --> 00:13:13,340
It's awesome.

245
00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:23,016
One of Andy's greatest achievements was
the success of his band, Mouse Rat.

246
00:13:23,028 --> 00:13:25,198
No one was doing
what we were doing.

247
00:13:25,218 --> 00:13:26,319
Well, that's not really true.

248
00:13:26,334 --> 00:13:29,164
I mean, we were basically playing
covers of Dave Matthews songs.

249
00:13:29,177 --> 00:13:33,148
So I guess you could say Dave Matthews
was doing what we were doing.

250
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,195
Oh, to play in a band
like Mouse Rat

251
00:13:35,208 --> 00:13:39,987
that brought such joy to so
many truly was a mitzvah.

252
00:13:41,042 --> 00:13:43,135
I should mention
I'm a rabbi now.

253
00:13:43,143 --> 00:13:44,703
For the full
rockumentary, go to

254
00:13:44,717 --> 00:13:48,486
TheJohnnyKarateSuperAwesome
MusicalExplosion.com.

255
00:13:48,505 --> 00:13:50,275
And now, back to the show.

256
00:13:54,329 --> 00:13:56,599
Every hero struggles
with failure,

257
00:13:56,619 --> 00:13:58,855
faces something
they cannot do.

258
00:13:58,870 --> 00:14:01,465
Andy faced one of those
moments just a few years ago.

259
00:14:01,479 --> 00:14:03,491
And I would've chugged
that entire gallon of milk

260
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,411
had I not started puking
out of nowhere.

261
00:14:05,425 --> 00:14:09,305
No, you did not achieve your dream
of becoming a Pawnee police officer.

262
00:14:09,319 --> 00:14:10,020
Oh, right.

263
00:14:10,032 --> 00:14:11,762
But you did create
Burt Macklin,

264
00:14:11,773 --> 00:14:15,610
a character who exemplifies everything
that is great about law enforcement.

265
00:14:15,623 --> 00:14:16,986
Take a look.

266
00:14:17,012 --> 00:14:21,410
My name is
Burt Tyrannosaurus Macklin.

267
00:14:28,123 --> 00:14:29,691
I don't know what
the problem is, Sergeant.

268
00:14:29,705 --> 00:14:31,333
Just drain the ocean.

269
00:14:44,378 --> 00:14:47,045
Andy, on behalf of the entire
Pawnee Police Department,

270
00:14:47,059 --> 00:14:48,920
I'd like to present you
with this genuine

271
00:14:48,932 --> 00:14:50,525
- Pawnee police badge.
- Wow.

272
00:14:50,538 --> 00:14:54,647
- It's ensconced forever in the shadowbox
we made earlier. - How about that?

273
00:14:54,666 --> 00:14:55,994
No.

274
00:14:57,478 --> 00:14:59,952
Son, we spent four
days making that.

275
00:14:59,965 --> 00:15:02,975
This means so,
so much to me.

276
00:15:03,530 --> 00:15:04,837
I'm a cop.

277
00:15:04,850 --> 00:15:06,978
- I should get some handcuffs too.
Give me your cuffs, Randy. - No, no, no.

278
00:15:06,991 --> 00:15:08,281
- Give me your cuffs.
- It's an honorary title only.

279
00:15:08,287 --> 00:15:09,590
- Stand down, sir.
- Stop it! Quit!

280
00:15:09,596 --> 00:15:11,766
Andy, now that you're
an official police officer...

281
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:13,314
He's not. I want to make
it clear—he's not.

282
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:16,160
You should be able to solve
the case of the missing guitar.

283
00:15:16,174 --> 00:15:19,939
So grab your clue and head on
over to Professor Smartbrain.

284
00:15:21,289 --> 00:15:25,067
Professor Smartbrain, this piece
of fabric was found at the scene.

285
00:15:25,087 --> 00:15:26,723
Look at it under
your telescope.

286
00:15:26,734 --> 00:15:27,484
Hmm.

287
00:15:27,497 --> 00:15:29,890
It looks like there are
some tiny initials.

288
00:15:29,909 --> 00:15:31,636
"J.C."?

289
00:15:33,269 --> 00:15:36,373
President Jimmy Carter
stole my guitar?

290
00:15:36,393 --> 00:15:37,161
But why?

291
00:15:37,173 --> 00:15:39,554
I don't think it's Jimmy
Carter, buddy.

292
00:15:40,234 --> 00:15:42,883
The champ is here!

293
00:15:44,709 --> 00:15:46,680
Hi, kids, is everybody
having a great time?

294
00:15:48,333 --> 00:15:49,682
I know I am!

295
00:15:49,707 --> 00:15:53,298
John Cena in the house!
John Cena, you're my hero.

296
00:15:53,303 --> 00:15:55,611
- Wait, you're Andy.
- Yeah, I'm Andy.

297
00:15:55,636 --> 00:15:58,731
From the information I got, I just
assumed you'd be, like, ten years old.

298
00:15:58,751 --> 00:16:01,267
- Thank you.
- Okay, great. Thank you.

299
00:16:01,279 --> 00:16:03,983
Thank you so much, man,
for bringing martial arts

300
00:16:04,002 --> 00:16:06,027
and music to all
the children—

301
00:16:06,042 --> 00:16:07,431
Wait, wait, what are
you doing, man?

302
00:16:07,442 --> 00:16:08,831
- Got you.
- Got me? Wait... What?

303
00:16:08,850 --> 00:16:10,778
He got my cuffs. Wait.
What the hell is this?

304
00:16:10,791 --> 00:16:13,223
John Cena, you're a great
inspiration, a true hero,

305
00:16:13,236 --> 00:16:14,756
and this is the greatest
moment of my life.

306
00:16:14,781 --> 00:16:16,730
- But you're going down.
- Going down? What are you—

307
00:16:16,749 --> 00:16:18,887
- Whoa! Hey, stop—
- You stole Johnny Karate's guitar.

308
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:21,365
I didn't steal his guitar, man.
I'm just doing this as a favor.

309
00:16:21,384 --> 00:16:23,859
- You're going in the dunk tank, bud.
- I don't want to go in the dunk tank.

310
00:16:23,871 --> 00:16:25,455
- Shut up.
- Is anybody in charge?

311
00:16:25,474 --> 00:16:26,676
A little help?

312
00:16:26,696 --> 00:16:29,814
And now it's time to celebrate
Andy Dwyer's greatest creation—

313
00:16:29,826 --> 00:16:31,037
Johnny Karate.

314
00:16:32,982 --> 00:16:36,414
He has brought so much
happiness to so many children

315
00:16:36,436 --> 00:16:39,841
in southern Indiana that we
thought a piece of Johnny Karate

316
00:16:39,862 --> 00:16:42,076
should stay
here in Pawnee.

317
00:16:52,755 --> 00:16:54,456
Raise it up.

318
00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:01,238
This is awesome.
Can you believe it, babe?

319
00:17:04,946 --> 00:17:07,660
That karate gi will
stay here forever.

320
00:17:08,219 --> 00:17:10,633
Well, not here here,
because this studio

321
00:17:10,652 --> 00:17:13,966
actually has a show where divorced
couples work out their problems.

322
00:17:13,978 --> 00:17:16,831
So that might be weird if that thing was
hanging over them. But it'll be somewhere.

323
00:17:16,843 --> 00:17:20,934
And the spirit will
stay with us forever.

324
00:17:21,767 --> 00:17:24,537
Andy Dwyer's final good-bye
when we come back.

325
00:17:28,958 --> 00:17:30,173
What powers us?

326
00:17:30,185 --> 00:17:32,360
What gives us the tools
to attain our goals,

327
00:17:32,374 --> 00:17:35,637
face our fears, take that
next step into the unknown?

328
00:17:35,643 --> 00:17:37,446
It's energy.

329
00:17:37,452 --> 00:17:40,290
Verizon, Exxon, and Chipotle
are proud to announce

330
00:17:40,302 --> 00:17:43,632
a cross-platform merger
of our three great brands.

331
00:17:43,651 --> 00:17:47,828
Whether it's extending your 6G coverage,
drilling natural gas out of shale,

332
00:17:47,848 --> 00:17:49,865
or perfecting
the chicken quesadilla,

333
00:17:49,876 --> 00:17:53,141
we will give you the energy
to get you to the next level.

334
00:17:53,148 --> 00:17:57,024
And with enough energy,
America, nothing can stop us.

335
00:17:57,387 --> 00:18:00,568
The all-new
Verizon-Chipotle-Exxon—

336
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:04,034
proud to be one of
America's 8 companies.

337
00:18:08,501 --> 00:18:11,939
I'd like to begin by saying thank
you to anyone who has ever worked

338
00:18:11,953 --> 00:18:14,900
on the Johnny Karate
Musical Explosion Show.

339
00:18:15,508 --> 00:18:18,521
This has been the greatest
job I've ever had,

340
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:21,346
and today has been
the best day of my life.

341
00:18:21,366 --> 00:18:22,956
And that's saying
something.

342
00:18:23,490 --> 00:18:26,426
I once found a rock that looked
exactly like Santa Claus—

343
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,542
hat and everything, so...

344
00:18:28,905 --> 00:18:32,572
Before I say good-bye, let's review
our checklist one last time.

345
00:18:32,592 --> 00:18:34,796
We made something
with Carpenter Ron.

346
00:18:34,815 --> 00:18:37,089
We learned something
with Professor Smartbrain.

347
00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:38,502
We karate chopped something—

348
00:18:38,521 --> 00:18:40,740
old Mailman Barry's face.

349
00:18:40,755 --> 00:18:44,986
And we tried something new, even though
it was scary to us, with Leslie Knope.

350
00:18:45,585 --> 00:18:48,115
That leaves just
one more thing,

351
00:18:48,130 --> 00:18:50,169
the most important one.

352
00:18:50,833 --> 00:18:52,864
Be nice to someone.

353
00:18:53,620 --> 00:18:56,103
And I think I know right now
who needs it the most—

354
00:18:56,119 --> 00:19:00,612
my wife,
April Ludgate-Karate-Dwyer.

355
00:19:00,631 --> 00:19:02,728
Honey, come on out here.

356
00:19:02,746 --> 00:19:03,827
Come here.

357
00:19:04,241 --> 00:19:05,441
Babe.

358
00:19:06,714 --> 00:19:08,212
Hey, babe?

359
00:19:08,236 --> 00:19:09,398
Wait!

360
00:19:10,794 --> 00:19:12,269
Honey, where are you going?

361
00:19:12,289 --> 00:19:14,136
Babe, hey, will you—

362
00:19:14,143 --> 00:19:15,218
Hey, come here.

363
00:19:15,231 --> 00:19:17,336
April, what's going on?

364
00:19:18,543 --> 00:19:19,764
It's...

365
00:19:22,057 --> 00:19:24,829
Every week, this show
is an amazing train wreck,

366
00:19:24,849 --> 00:19:28,156
and you love doing it,
and you're the best host,

367
00:19:28,176 --> 00:19:30,459
like, even better than my
all-time favorite host,

368
00:19:30,473 --> 00:19:32,537
Tom Snyder, which is crazy.

369
00:19:32,558 --> 00:19:36,053
And all those kids
love you, and

370
00:19:36,079 --> 00:19:37,612
you're doing what
you're meant to do.

371
00:19:37,631 --> 00:19:39,874
And I can't be the person that
makes you lose what you love.

372
00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:41,070
Yeah, but you're what I love.

373
00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:43,550
You're the only reason
I have any of this.

374
00:19:43,567 --> 00:19:46,568
You believed in me,
and you supported me.

375
00:19:46,592 --> 00:19:48,175
You make me happy...

376
00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:50,902
happier than I ever
thought I could be.

377
00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:54,008
Without you,
I wouldn't be anything.

378
00:19:54,363 --> 00:19:56,117
You're what
keeps me going.

379
00:19:56,914 --> 00:19:59,503
You're my
Verizon-Chipotle-Exxon.

380
00:20:00,586 --> 00:20:03,430
As long as I'm with you,
I'm gonna be happy.

381
00:20:03,454 --> 00:20:05,444
So we go to Washington, D.C.

382
00:20:05,906 --> 00:20:10,048
And then we figure out the next cool
and awesome thing from there, okay?

383
00:20:12,939 --> 00:20:14,190
Okay.

384
00:20:14,601 --> 00:20:17,280
That was a very good
"Being Nice to Someone."

385
00:20:17,683 --> 00:20:19,092
I did it.

386
00:20:19,111 --> 00:20:20,497
I can go finish the show.

387
00:21:04,634 --> 00:21:05,695
Karate yell!

388
00:21:05,715 --> 00:21:07,284
Hiya!

389
00:21:07,295 --> 00:21:09,355
Good-bye, Pawnee.
I will miss you.

390
00:21:11,682 --> 00:21:13,751
Guys? Guys?

391
00:21:13,763 --> 00:21:15,127
Guys!

392
00:21:16,063 --> 00:21:16,989
Tarantula.

393
00:21:19,043 --> 00:21:20,963
Could somebody get me
out of here, please?

394
00:21:20,977 --> 00:21:22,433
I'll help you, John Cena.

395
00:21:22,445 --> 00:21:23,514
No—

396
00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:32,126
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

397
00:21:32,635 --> 00:21:42,645
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

