1 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:23,660 Alright. The options for this month's game night are: 2 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:27,620 checkers, cards, Double Dutch, Tiddly Winks and— 3 00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:31,200 "My Mom" isn't a game, Muscle Man. 4 00:00:31,290 --> 00:00:32,520 That doesn't even make sense. 5 00:00:32,570 --> 00:00:34,740 Looks like I win! 6 00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:37,610 Let's play Ball-bo Catcher! 7 00:00:39,450 --> 00:00:41,050 A crossword puzzle? 8 00:00:41,140 --> 00:00:42,670 Okay, let's vote. 9 00:00:44,470 --> 00:00:45,900 Yes, Mordecai? 10 00:00:45,930 --> 00:00:47,100 Oh, nothing. 11 00:00:47,220 --> 00:00:48,990 Do you have a better idea? 12 00:00:49,010 --> 00:00:52,290 We could play one of those stale old games we usually play. 13 00:00:52,290 --> 00:00:56,450 Or we could play the sci-fi fantasy epic of the century! 14 00:00:56,450 --> 00:00:59,570 Behold, The Realm of Darthon! 15 00:01:01,730 --> 00:01:02,930 So, what is it? 16 00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:04,310 It's a role-playing game. 17 00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:06,680 We make up an adventure and you guys try to beat it. 18 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,480 You can use magic and stuff! 19 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,460 A game of imagination? What fun! 20 00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:12,720 Sounds lame. 21 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:13,780 No way! 22 00:01:13,780 --> 00:01:16,550 The guy at the store told us it's the hottest RPG of the year! 23 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:18,980 All in favor? 24 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,460 - Yeah, yeah! - I guess. 25 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,180 Darthon! Darthon! 26 00:01:25,470 --> 00:01:27,770 Get ready for the best game night of your life! 27 00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:32,120 Your party walks down a long hallway and reaches a locked door. 28 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:33,440 What do you do? 29 00:01:33,610 --> 00:01:36,300 I smash it open with my war claw! 30 00:01:36,350 --> 00:01:39,740 Then, a bunch of ladies come out, and they're all, 31 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:44,790 "Ooh Muscle Man, quit pinching my butt with your war claw!" 32 00:01:44,790 --> 00:01:47,380 Roll the 50-sided die to see if you unlock the door. 33 00:01:47,380 --> 00:01:51,100 All we have is a 48-sided die and two marbles. 34 00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:52,110 Close enough. 35 00:01:54,690 --> 00:01:55,750 Did it work? 36 00:01:57,510 --> 00:01:58,540 I don't think so. 37 00:01:58,540 --> 00:01:59,740 This blows. 38 00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:01,650 Mordecai! Mordecai! 39 00:02:01,650 --> 00:02:04,830 But I'll reckon I'd like a turn now! 40 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,030 Cyborg cowboys take three days to awaken from hypersleep. 41 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:09,550 Sorry, Pops. 42 00:02:10,450 --> 00:02:12,870 Can't he cast a saving throw? 43 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,540 What does all this stuff mean? 44 00:02:15,540 --> 00:02:18,030 Are we even in Darthon yet? 45 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:21,010 Or is that just an artifact for something? 46 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:24,930 Your party is suddenly ambushed by a flock of manbats! 47 00:02:24,930 --> 00:02:26,780 Skips the Mighty gets first strike! 48 00:02:29,030 --> 00:02:29,680 Let's see... 49 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:32,160 Pirate samurai have plus two times two shen... 50 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,290 minus three charisma... divide by number of geese... 51 00:02:34,290 --> 00:02:35,430 Do we have a protractor? 52 00:02:35,430 --> 00:02:36,310 I'm outta here. 53 00:02:36,310 --> 00:02:38,660 Worst game night ever! 54 00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:41,880 Dude, they're right! This game sucks! 55 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,390 Let's get our money back. 56 00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:48,360 Out of the way! Out of the way, everybody! 57 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,270 Coming through, coming through! 58 00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:52,240 Out of the way! Out of the way people! 59 00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:54,810 We're here for a refund. 60 00:02:54,940 --> 00:02:58,670 I'd love to give you a refund, but, you need a receipt for that. 61 00:02:58,670 --> 00:03:00,140 I got a receipt right here. 62 00:03:00,140 --> 00:03:02,470 Excellent. And now the unopened product? 63 00:03:02,470 --> 00:03:04,710 What? You can't return it if it's opened? 64 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:08,430 Well, yes! It's clearly stated on the back of your receipt. 65 00:03:08,430 --> 00:03:11,090 What? That's lame! You can barely even see the writing! 66 00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:14,030 Yes, well, perhaps if you learned to read, it would be easy for you to see. 67 00:03:14,030 --> 00:03:15,330 Good day, gentlemen! 68 00:03:15,330 --> 00:03:18,090 Dude, just give us our money back. This game blows! 69 00:03:18,090 --> 00:03:20,670 Uh, The Realm of Darthon does not blow! 70 00:03:20,670 --> 00:03:22,380 You're probably doing it wrong. 71 00:03:22,380 --> 00:03:24,030 It's a role-playing game. 72 00:03:24,030 --> 00:03:26,250 You have to use your imagination. 73 00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:29,460 No way, dude! The game is the problem, not us! 74 00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:32,400 Uh, hey, are you guys gonna be wrapping this up soon? 75 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:34,490 We're done here. 76 00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:39,700 Okay, I guess you won't mind if we tell people how "cool" your game is! 77 00:03:39,790 --> 00:03:43,790 Hey, everybody! Don't waste your time waiting in line for this huge piece. 78 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,930 It's probably the worst game we've ever played. 79 00:03:45,930 --> 00:03:47,660 Yeah, and he won't even give us a refund. 80 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:50,330 This guy doesn't give refunds, people! 81 00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:55,770 Let's go! I want you two out of my store, now! 82 00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,330 We can't let that guy get away with this. 83 00:04:00,330 --> 00:04:02,510 Dude, we spent the last of our cash on it! 84 00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:03,880 We have to get our money back. 85 00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:07,710 So, how do we do that? 86 00:04:07,870 --> 00:04:11,910 We'll just sabotage his business until he gives us our refund. 87 00:04:16,550 --> 00:04:20,310 Heh, nice outfits! Losers! 88 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,510 You don't like these costumes? 89 00:04:22,510 --> 00:04:25,890 But they're from the "Make Your Own" section of the Darthon gamebook! 90 00:04:26,970 --> 00:04:30,260 That's right! We followed the instructions perfectly. 91 00:04:30,450 --> 00:04:34,080 But you used toilet paper rolls instead of paper towel rolls! 92 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,420 The costumes look awesome when you do it right. 93 00:04:36,540 --> 00:04:40,430 Yeah? Do they look as awesome as the game pieces? 94 00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:46,220 Wait! There's lots of other characters if you don't like the pixie sorcerer! 95 00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:49,470 No there aren't! They're all just the same with different costumes. 96 00:04:51,740 --> 00:04:54,530 I didn't realize it was that kind of game! 97 00:04:54,530 --> 00:04:56,990 Nobody knows what kind of game it is. 98 00:04:56,990 --> 00:05:00,020 Is it medieval? Sci-fi? Western? 99 00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:02,140 It's a role-playing game! 100 00:05:02,140 --> 00:05:04,300 You have to use your imagination! 101 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,420 That's right! Go get us our refund! 102 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,030 No way! 103 00:05:13,670 --> 00:05:16,760 Dude. This campaign is just getting started. 104 00:06:06,590 --> 00:06:07,700 That's it! 105 00:06:08,550 --> 00:06:11,730 The Realm of Darthon does not suck! 106 00:06:11,730 --> 00:06:13,730 Yeah, but your costume does. 107 00:06:18,050 --> 00:06:20,660 No refunds! 108 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,670 Dude, check out our costumes! 109 00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:34,900 Yeah, where are we? 110 00:06:35,210 --> 00:06:38,260 Welcome, to the Realm of Darthon! 111 00:06:38,260 --> 00:06:40,970 Leave while you still can! 112 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,720 We're not leaving without a refund! 113 00:06:45,450 --> 00:06:47,380 Then come and get it! 114 00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:52,800 Did you hear that? 115 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,980 I think it's coming from a— ... head! 116 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,480 What are these things? 117 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:58,730 Ignore it, dude. 118 00:06:58,730 --> 00:07:00,850 They're just lame enemies from the game. 119 00:07:00,850 --> 00:07:04,180 Lame? What do you think of manbats' teamwork? 120 00:07:10,250 --> 00:07:12,880 Next time, send enemies that don't blow! 121 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,910 Well, if you didn't like those enemies, 122 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,330 then how about some Mutant jellyfish! 123 00:07:18,330 --> 00:07:20,250 Robo-bears! 124 00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:23,290 Angry tree people with pixie sorcerers? 125 00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:29,470 Watch out! 126 00:07:30,990 --> 00:07:32,850 Dude! there are too many of the... 127 00:07:32,850 --> 00:07:37,380 Come on! Everyone knows technomancers can summon allies! 128 00:07:37,380 --> 00:07:38,020 Rigby! 129 00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:40,200 Summon allies! 130 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:47,490 What the? I told you guys I didn't wanna play this game. 131 00:07:47,490 --> 00:07:48,500 We need your help! 132 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,760 We need the refund from the game master! 133 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:51,470 What? 134 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,890 When this is over, you two are dead! 135 00:08:12,750 --> 00:08:15,850 I changed my mind! Technomancers can't summon allies! 136 00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:18,960 What? He's just cheating so he can win! 137 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,190 Quit cheating! 138 00:08:20,530 --> 00:08:23,670 I'm not cheating! I'm using my imagination! 139 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,110 That's what makes this game fun! 140 00:08:26,110 --> 00:08:28,110 That's what makes this game blow! 141 00:08:28,110 --> 00:08:28,870 Enough! 142 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:33,060 I won't allow you to insult my realm any longer! 143 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,890 I am Darthon! 144 00:08:45,980 --> 00:08:48,400 Still think this game blows? 145 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:55,230 Lightning bolts have no effect on giant monsters! 146 00:08:56,530 --> 00:08:59,380 Projectile weapons deal damage to the user! 147 00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:05,050 Oh no! You stepped in a permafrost puddle! 148 00:09:05,950 --> 00:09:07,990 Players are frozen in place! 149 00:09:09,710 --> 00:09:10,760 Stay back! 150 00:09:12,730 --> 00:09:13,990 Self-destruct? 151 00:09:17,020 --> 00:09:18,520 We are not frozen. 152 00:09:19,470 --> 00:09:21,130 Looks like it's our turn! 153 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,960 Your party is washed away by a flood! 154 00:09:25,610 --> 00:09:28,040 Our +3 awesomeness repels water! 155 00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:33,700 Fireballs are made of kittens! 156 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:35,760 Kittens are man-eating tigers! 157 00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:38,040 Man-eating tigers turn into stuffed animals! 158 00:09:40,260 --> 00:09:42,070 Players lose their weapons when running! 159 00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:47,310 Warriors carry the immunity sword, which is immune to all rule changes! 160 00:09:47,460 --> 00:09:49,520 W-what? No! That's not— 161 00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:59,660 Now give us our refund. 162 00:10:07,270 --> 00:10:09,380 Yeah, we did it! 163 00:10:09,970 --> 00:10:12,020 Dude, are you okay? 164 00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:14,890 Yeah. I'm fine. Here's your refund. 165 00:10:14,890 --> 00:10:16,810 No, it's cool. You should keep it. 166 00:10:16,810 --> 00:10:19,350 No, no. You beat me fair and square. 167 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,140 Are you sure you're okay? 168 00:10:21,140 --> 00:10:23,450 Yeah. We can take you to the hospital. 169 00:10:23,450 --> 00:10:25,850 No. No. I'm fine. 170 00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:28,390 I just need an icepack. 171 00:10:28,990 --> 00:10:30,590 I... just... gotta... 172 00:10:30,590 --> 00:10:32,740 I gotta go up and lay down for a bit. 173 00:10:33,950 --> 00:10:36,080 Mordecai! Rigby! 174 00:10:36,270 --> 00:10:38,320 Pops! Where have you guys been? 175 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,810 We were hiding in the armor closet, then suddenly, 176 00:10:40,810 --> 00:10:42,970 we were in the stock room at Shoe Farm. 177 00:10:42,970 --> 00:10:46,800 Good thing it was worth it! Seven bones, baby! 178 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:51,140 Seven dollars? We almost died for seven dollars? 179 00:10:51,140 --> 00:10:52,790 The numbers aren't important! 180 00:10:52,790 --> 00:10:53,970 It was the principle! 181 00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:57,830 Yeah! If we're gonna spend that kind of money, it's gotta be on a cool game! 182 00:10:57,910 --> 00:11:02,010 Yeah! Something like Trail of Elderich or The Lair of Anthalon. 183 00:11:02,130 --> 00:11:03,760 Dude! Is that out? 184 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,800 Yeah. It came out last week.