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A thousand years ago, in the most ancient of dojos,

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the most delicious sandwich in the world entered our realm.

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The only problem is if you eat it wrong... You die.

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Fortunately, men discovered the correct way to eat it.

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With cut-off jean shorts and the proper haircut.

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Death Sandwich! Death Sandwich!

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If you don't eat it right, you're gonna DIE tonight!

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It's the Death Sandwi-I-I-I-I-I-ich!

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So come on down to "Death-Kwon-Do Pizza & Subs".

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And remember, eat it right or you die!

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How may I help you? You guys?

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So, you have the nerve to look me in the eye

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after nearly destroying my Death-Kwon-Do business.

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Look, we're sorry about that, man.

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But hey, it looks like you really bounced back.

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Got this whole sandwich gig going on, looking good.

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You're lucky forgiveness is one of the many virtues

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of Death-Kwon-Do. So what can I get you?

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The Death Sandwich!

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To receive the Death Sandwich,

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you must first sign this waiver of death.

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Yeah, sure. Let's do it.

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Why not?

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Alright, I'll have that out for you in a minute.

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One Death Sandwich.

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But, remember. If you don't eat it right, you die.

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Yeah, yeah. Wear mullets and jean shorts.

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We got it.

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Man, I'm about to tear this thing up!

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Whoa, wait.

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We gotta get mullets and cut-offs first.

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Aw, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I will take lunch!

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Death Sandwich! Death Sandwich! Death Sandwich!

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Well, well, well.

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Looks like it's time for a little payback.

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Let's see how they like it when somebody else steals their sandwich.

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Death Sandwich! Death Sandwich!

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Aw, what?

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Benson!

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Whoa, are you alright?

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It really is a death sandwich.

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Death sandwich?

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Why would you buy something that kills people!

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Why would you eat somebody's sandwich?

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Come on, guys. This is serious.

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We gotta get Benson a cure from the Death Sandwich

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before it's too late.

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Dude, you gotta help us.

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Our boss ate the Death Sandwich wrong.

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What? How could this have happened?

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We left it in the kitchen,

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and Benson came and ate it.

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It is clearly stated in the waiver

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that the Sandwich should never be left unaccompanied

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under any circumstances!

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You didn't read the waiver?

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Now, if you would excuse me,

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I have a business to conduct.

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Good day, gentlemen.

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But our boss is gonna die!

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If the Sandwich is so dangerous,

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then why don't you just take me to the hospital?

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Yeah, you're probably right. Let's get outta here.

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I'm afraid that would be a fatal mistake.

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Your boss is now far beyond the help of Western medicine.

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Well, then, what are we supposed to do?

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His only chance of survival now is to see my Sensei,

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the Grand Master of Death-Kwon-Do.

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He is the protector of the Sandwich of Life.

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What's the Sandwich of Life?

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It is the only known cure for the Death Sandwich.

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He will listen to your request, and if he agrees,

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he will let Benson have a taste.

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One bite from the sandwich will cure him instantly.

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All right, let's do this. What's his address?

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I'm afraid it is not that simple.

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No mere outsider is allowed before the Sensei.

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I must accompany you on your journey.

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But time is of the essence.

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If your boss does not take a bite from the Sandwich

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of Life within six hours, he will die.

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What's gonna happen to him

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if we can't get the Sandwich of life in six hours?

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His body will undergo six stages of agony

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while speeding towards his inevitable death.

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His face will turn green and he'll begin to choke.

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That's what was happening to him in the kitchen!

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Yes. Soon after, his face will start to burn.

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It burns!

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Benson's intestines will begin to melt and leak out of his body.

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He will shriek in pain, but no one will hear it,

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because his vocal chords will have long since evaporated.

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But then he'll regain his vocal chords...

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Only to cry out for mercy in ancient dialects long since forgotten.

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I'm pretty sure you can go 65 here.

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I'm gonna go request a meeting with the Sensei

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You guys just wait here.

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Okay, minor setback.

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I forgot to mention that me and the Sensei

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kind of had a falling out.

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It's time for Plan B.

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What's Plan B?

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We sneak in and take the sandwich by force.

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Here, Benson.

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You're gonna need the power of Death-Kwon-Do.

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What, I just have to put these on?

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Not quite.

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The Sandwich of Life is at the very top of the mountain.

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Come now. We move as one!

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Hey, stop!

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Quickly! Into the first chamber!

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Things will become increasingly more difficult

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as we approach the sandwich. Be ready.

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I mean Step of Death!

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That reminds me.

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In this room, you must say,

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"Step of Death" every time you step,

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or you will plummet to your death.

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Almost slipped my mind.

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Step of Death! Step of Death! Step of Death!

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Step of Death!

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Step of Death!

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Step of Death!

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Step of Death! Step of Death!

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Step of Death!

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Step of Death!

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Step of Death!

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Step of Death!

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Agga dagga dume tu kara tu...

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We're almost to the top, Benson.

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Don't give up just yet.

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The Sensei is through that door.

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Is that your Sensei?

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Yes. And that sandwich right there is the Sandwich of Life.

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Which one? There's two of them.

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It's the on the organic multi-grain.

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Opposite, we have the deadliest sandwich known to man

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the Double Death Sandwich.

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Just let me address the Sensei.

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He might still be mad at me.

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Sensei...

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You got a lot of nerve coming back here

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after what you pulled.

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Forgive me, Sensei...

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What did you do?

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I took him off the streets and raised him like my own son.

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He repaid me by stealing the recipe for the Death Sandwich

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and mass producing without permission!

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I will accept full responsibility for my crimes against the school.

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But there is now a more pressing matter at hand.

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Our friend Benson is about to die

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from eating the Death Sandwich incorrectly.

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We humbly request that you bestow the Sandwich of Life upon him.

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You must be a real fool.

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Did you honestly think

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I'd just hand over the Sandwich of Life? Kill them!

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You don't deserve the powers of Death-Kwon-Do!

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Agga dagga... sanoubi...

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He says that he forgives you.

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It's too bad he'll never taste from the Sandwich of Life.

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Sensei, no! Not the Double Death Sandwich!

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Order up!

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The Bicycle Kick of Death!

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Now!

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Come on...

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What's happening?

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The mountain is self-destructing!

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Use the Death Jump!

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Thanks so much.

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I don't know how we can ever repay you.

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I'll probably think of something.

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So come on down to "Death-Kwon-Do Pizza & Subs"

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at the Two Peaks Mall. And remember...

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Eat it right, or you die!