1 00:00:19,339 --> 00:00:24,953 Alright, Rigby. Would you rather... Comb your hair with a hot dog or have feet for hands? 2 00:00:25,383 --> 00:00:26,452 Feet for hands! 3 00:00:26,482 --> 00:00:27,690 feet for hands! Run twice as fast. 4 00:00:27,691 --> 00:00:29,859 - But how would you play video games? - Feet for hands! 5 00:00:30,088 --> 00:00:31,587 Your turn, Mordecai. 6 00:00:31,637 --> 00:00:36,991 Would you rather live on a houseboat made of garbage or eat a sandwich in a portable toilet? 7 00:00:37,061 --> 00:00:38,020 Portable toilet. 8 00:00:38,030 --> 00:00:38,919 You'd really do that? 9 00:00:39,579 --> 00:00:41,657 Over a garbage houseboat, obviously. 10 00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:44,324 It'd smell bad, and then the water would make it smell more. 11 00:00:44,374 --> 00:00:46,272 And then you've just got a big pile of wet garbage. 12 00:00:46,372 --> 00:00:49,649 So, you're saying you would eat a sandwich in a portable toilet? 13 00:00:49,789 --> 00:00:50,658 Yes. 14 00:00:51,197 --> 00:00:53,934 Just so happens I've got my sandwich right here. 15 00:00:54,634 --> 00:00:56,042 And what's that over there? 16 00:00:57,001 --> 00:01:00,028 Oh, time to put your sandwich where your mouth is! 17 00:01:00,098 --> 00:01:01,407 You can't be serious. 18 00:01:01,477 --> 00:01:05,453 What a coincidence. My sandwich is chicken, too. 19 00:01:06,961 --> 00:01:08,600 She's got you there, Mordecai. 20 00:01:08,730 --> 00:01:10,088 Are you daring me? 21 00:01:10,218 --> 00:01:11,976 'Cause if you're gonna dare me, just dare me. 22 00:01:12,036 --> 00:01:13,465 'All right. I dare you. 23 00:01:14,164 --> 00:01:15,753 So we're just changing games now. 24 00:01:15,823 --> 00:01:18,120 Fine, then. 25 00:01:18,130 --> 00:01:18,820 Wait! 26 00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:21,347 How will we know if you actually do it? 27 00:01:21,467 --> 00:01:24,304 Right. It's not a legitimate dare without a credible witness. 28 00:01:24,414 --> 00:01:26,142 Fine. I'll be the incredible witness. 29 00:01:27,181 --> 00:01:29,799 So, were you planning that the whole time, or... 30 00:01:29,819 --> 00:01:31,347 Nah. It was more of an impulse. 31 00:01:35,823 --> 00:01:37,960 Huh. I got to say, this is pretty classy. 32 00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:40,188 I guess if I needed to go outside, I'd do it here. 33 00:01:40,328 --> 00:01:41,847 So, you're really going through with this? 34 00:01:41,926 --> 00:01:43,914 I can just vouch for you, you know. It's not big deal. 35 00:01:43,964 --> 00:01:45,013 I'm a man of my word. 36 00:01:45,643 --> 00:01:47,970 So, C.J. And eileen seem to be getting along. 37 00:01:48,050 --> 00:01:48,929 Yeah, I guess. 38 00:01:49,199 --> 00:01:51,127 "Boy, we have so much in common." 39 00:01:51,197 --> 00:01:54,754 "Would you rather... awkwardly kiss Mordecai on new year's eve, 40 00:01:54,893 --> 00:01:57,121 Or dare him to eat a sandwich in a portable toilet?" 41 00:01:57,261 --> 00:01:58,470 Oh, wow! Both?" 42 00:01:59,159 --> 00:01:59,829 You're done. 43 00:02:00,438 --> 00:02:02,756 Easy-peasy, no big deasy! 44 00:02:04,694 --> 00:02:05,902 Great. Let's get out of here. 45 00:02:08,730 --> 00:02:09,439 It's stuck. 46 00:02:09,469 --> 00:02:10,718 Dude, that's not funny. 47 00:02:10,778 --> 00:02:13,195 Why would I joke about this? You know how I am with small spaces! 48 00:02:13,944 --> 00:02:15,013 Come on, dude. 49 00:02:15,083 --> 00:02:16,262 Try and calm down. 50 00:02:16,951 --> 00:02:18,550 Okay. I'm trying. 51 00:02:18,859 --> 00:02:20,857 Calm... 52 00:02:20,927 --> 00:02:24,883 Good. C.J. And eileen are right out there. They'll come and get us any minutes, right? 53 00:02:25,723 --> 00:02:27,121 Uh, Rigby? 54 00:02:27,391 --> 00:02:27,990 Rigby? 55 00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:29,639 We're gonna starve before they find us! 56 00:02:29,659 --> 00:02:32,486 Why'd you eat the whole sandwich? You should have saved some just in case! 57 00:02:32,566 --> 00:02:34,093 Dude, that makes no sense! 58 00:02:34,094 --> 00:02:35,603 You makes no sense! 59 00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:39,149 Help! I'm trapped in here with a crazy person! 60 00:02:40,238 --> 00:02:42,546 I think the character I love to hate the most... 61 00:02:42,586 --> 00:02:43,625 is king harry. 62 00:02:43,675 --> 00:02:44,734 He's such a pill. 63 00:02:48,020 --> 00:02:50,128 Hey, guys, how's it going in there? 64 00:02:50,168 --> 00:02:51,986 Well, things are going fine. 65 00:02:51,996 --> 00:02:52,955 The sandwich is done. 66 00:02:52,956 --> 00:02:55,153 But, uh, now it's kind of... 67 00:02:55,163 --> 00:02:56,621 The door is stuck! 68 00:02:56,622 --> 00:02:57,591 Get us out of here! 69 00:02:57,592 --> 00:02:59,159 Oh, that's terrible. 70 00:03:01,197 --> 00:03:04,293 Do you need some ... oh, what is the word I'm looking for? 71 00:03:04,294 --> 00:03:06,561 It's on the tip of my tongue. 72 00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:07,171 "Help"? 73 00:03:07,241 --> 00:03:09,249 Oh, yeah... Help or something? 74 00:03:09,299 --> 00:03:11,156 Could you please help us? 75 00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:12,626 I guess we could try. 76 00:03:14,724 --> 00:03:16,622 Oh. It really is stuck. 77 00:03:18,710 --> 00:03:21,607 I knew I should have brought my keysmith multi-tool today. 78 00:03:21,727 --> 00:03:23,025 Never doubt your gut, Eileen. 79 00:03:23,225 --> 00:03:24,664 There's some tools in the garage. 80 00:03:24,674 --> 00:03:26,062 All right. Hold tight. 81 00:03:26,242 --> 00:03:27,960 Don't run out of oxygen in there. 82 00:03:28,789 --> 00:03:33,245 I get that you're joking, but actually, portable toilets are quite well-ventilated. 83 00:03:33,305 --> 00:03:34,823 This thing is brand-new. 84 00:03:34,983 --> 00:03:36,851 How did the handle get stuck like... wha... 85 00:03:37,021 --> 00:03:38,758 Oh! What is this stuff? 86 00:03:38,759 --> 00:03:39,958 That's meatball gravy. 87 00:03:39,988 --> 00:03:42,706 How did meatball gravy get on the doorknob, Rigby? 88 00:03:42,755 --> 00:03:44,274 I was eating meatballs! 89 00:03:44,434 --> 00:03:46,662 You're not supposed to eat meatballs with your hands, dude. 90 00:03:46,731 --> 00:03:47,990 Hands are nature's forks! 91 00:03:48,959 --> 00:03:50,228 Try the window or something. 92 00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:53,194 I can't even get my fingers through the holes. 93 00:03:53,195 --> 00:03:55,222 They're like tiny prison bars. 94 00:03:55,223 --> 00:03:58,190 All right. Option 2 ... let's ram the door. 95 00:04:08,550 --> 00:04:10,338 So, what are you doing tonight? 96 00:04:10,488 --> 00:04:12,155 I got to house-sit my cousin's dog. 97 00:04:12,156 --> 00:04:12,895 What about you? 98 00:04:12,896 --> 00:04:17,650 That on-target 1.2 combination model's been singing my name all week. 99 00:04:17,651 --> 00:04:20,087 Oh. They finally installed that new outhouse? 100 00:04:20,088 --> 00:04:23,833 Show some respect, bro. It's called "portable toilet". 101 00:04:23,834 --> 00:04:27,511 Okay. Well, that sounds that sounds like fun. Have a good weekend. 102 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,717 I will, bro. I will. 103 00:04:30,847 --> 00:04:33,135 I'm yours now, baby. 104 00:04:34,154 --> 00:04:36,871 What? No! This is not okay. 105 00:04:37,501 --> 00:04:41,177 Yeah. It's muscle man. We got a code 67 over here. 106 00:04:47,361 --> 00:04:50,527 Make sure she gets a good home! 107 00:04:50,528 --> 00:04:55,372 She will! Decommissioned units get sent to the military for target practice. 108 00:04:55,373 --> 00:04:57,960 That's so honorable! 109 00:05:05,523 --> 00:05:06,092 Alright... 110 00:05:06,642 --> 00:05:07,820 First, we will test the... 111 00:05:10,138 --> 00:05:12,735 Eileen! Uh... Second girl. 112 00:05:12,755 --> 00:05:14,334 This is not awkward. 113 00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:15,373 Okay... 114 00:05:15,374 --> 00:05:17,690 I said it's not awkward! 115 00:05:18,370 --> 00:05:23,823 Listen, ladies, I know this model was voted throne of the year by flush twice quarterly 116 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,801 But you're gonna have to wait your turn. 117 00:05:25,802 --> 00:05:27,700 Mordecai and Rigby were locked in here. 118 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:28,999 Do you know where they went? 119 00:05:32,196 --> 00:05:33,435 Uh... Okay. Yep. 120 00:05:33,674 --> 00:05:35,952 Well... This is awkward. 121 00:05:38,789 --> 00:05:39,887 Hello? 122 00:05:39,888 --> 00:05:40,767 Where are you guys? 123 00:05:40,768 --> 00:05:41,866 Let me check. 124 00:05:43,365 --> 00:05:45,582 Try and sit tight. Muscle man is dealing with it. 125 00:05:45,583 --> 00:05:46,660 He says he knows a guy. 126 00:05:46,661 --> 00:05:49,459 Weak. I got the automated system. 127 00:05:49,539 --> 00:05:51,875 For toilet replacement, press "1." 128 00:05:51,876 --> 00:05:54,672 No! Undo replacement. 129 00:05:54,673 --> 00:05:56,950 You have selected toilet replacement. 130 00:05:56,951 --> 00:05:58,009 No! 131 00:05:58,010 --> 00:06:00,027 This is your second replacement today. 132 00:06:00,028 --> 00:06:02,684 Put me through to the military! 133 00:06:02,685 --> 00:06:05,423 Thank you for calling on-target. Goodbye. 134 00:06:07,940 --> 00:06:09,118 It didn't work 135 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,158 Where are you now? 136 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,212 It looks like the moon ... 137 00:06:15,213 --> 00:06:17,250 a horrifying moon of death! 138 00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:18,309 Do you know where that is? 139 00:06:18,310 --> 00:06:18,789 What? 140 00:06:18,789 --> 00:06:19,668 Hold on a second. 141 00:06:21,666 --> 00:06:23,245 Wha? What's happening? 142 00:06:26,222 --> 00:06:27,480 Are you guys all right? 143 00:06:27,481 --> 00:06:28,698 think we're landing. 144 00:06:28,699 --> 00:06:29,658 It looks like... 145 00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:32,754 A state fair. 146 00:06:32,755 --> 00:06:35,033 What? No, dude! It's a military base! 147 00:06:35,193 --> 00:06:37,291 How should I know? I've never been to a military base. 148 00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,088 You've never been to a state fair, either. 149 00:06:39,089 --> 00:06:40,726 Uh-oh. Okay, ladies. 150 00:06:40,727 --> 00:06:42,206 Now, don't go wacko on me, 151 00:06:42,256 --> 00:06:47,559 but sometimes, the military uses decommissioned toilets for target practice. 152 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:48,280 What? 153 00:06:52,915 --> 00:06:53,515 Yes. 154 00:06:54,993 --> 00:06:55,632 Agreed. 155 00:06:55,633 --> 00:06:56,671 Will do, sir. 156 00:06:57,610 --> 00:07:00,726 Begin test phase of the f-29 disintegrator laser system. 157 00:07:00,727 --> 00:07:01,985 Permission to speak freely, sir? 158 00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:02,426 No. 159 00:07:02,545 --> 00:07:03,744 Permission to speak freely, sir? 160 00:07:03,784 --> 00:07:04,364 Granted. 161 00:07:04,365 --> 00:07:07,560 Sir, why do we test the satellite laser on portable toilets, Sir? 162 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,617 Why do we test on portable toilets? 163 00:07:09,618 --> 00:07:12,256 We need to be able to stop the enemies at a moment's notice. 164 00:07:12,396 --> 00:07:14,973 Enemies and portable toilets have two things in common ... 165 00:07:15,053 --> 00:07:17,889 They're both soulless and they're about the same size. 166 00:07:17,890 --> 00:07:19,408 Can never be too safe, Sir. 167 00:07:19,409 --> 00:07:20,606 You better believe it. 168 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,464 Now, I do not feel like being intimidated today, 169 00:07:23,465 --> 00:07:25,761 so let's put some taxpayer money to good use. 170 00:07:25,762 --> 00:07:27,281 Begin laser sequence! 171 00:07:34,114 --> 00:07:36,111 3... 2... 1. 172 00:07:36,112 --> 00:07:39,648 Let's drop a laser-guided number 2 on this turd bucket. 173 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,318 Hurry up and help us! 174 00:07:49,319 --> 00:07:51,676 You guys got to come quick! We're gonna die out ... 175 00:07:53,335 --> 00:07:54,394 We lost them! 176 00:07:58,450 --> 00:08:00,188 I'll try and flag them down! 177 00:08:08,519 --> 00:08:09,617 What's wrong? 178 00:08:09,618 --> 00:08:11,755 My signals aren't working! 179 00:08:11,756 --> 00:08:12,854 No! 180 00:08:12,855 --> 00:08:14,173 Now what do we do? 181 00:08:14,174 --> 00:08:15,551 This is terrible! 182 00:08:15,552 --> 00:08:17,230 Try and keep calm. 183 00:08:17,231 --> 00:08:18,568 Keep calm? 184 00:08:18,569 --> 00:08:22,784 Finally things stop being weird with Mordecai, and now he's gonna get killed, 185 00:08:22,785 --> 00:08:26,441 and it's all because of some stupid dare which wasn't even clever. 186 00:08:26,442 --> 00:08:27,920 C.J.! 187 00:08:29,219 --> 00:08:30,516 Do you trust me? 188 00:08:30,517 --> 00:08:31,377 Yeah. 189 00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:32,754 Would you rather 190 00:08:32,755 --> 00:08:35,591 let Mordecai and Rigby get killed 191 00:08:35,592 --> 00:08:39,149 or jump into that portable toilet and rescue them? 192 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:41,806 That's easy. 193 00:08:46,222 --> 00:08:48,938 I've been trying to open this for so long, I can't feel my arms. 194 00:08:48,939 --> 00:08:51,555 Thank you, Mordecai! 195 00:08:51,556 --> 00:08:53,673 Hey, you didn't have to close the door. 196 00:08:53,674 --> 00:08:57,489 Don't put this on me, man! I'm not the one who flirts by taking toilet dares! 197 00:08:57,490 --> 00:08:58,130 Quiet! 198 00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:10,057 Continue testing. 199 00:09:10,058 --> 00:09:10,677 Oh, no. 200 00:09:10,678 --> 00:09:12,494 Uh, permission to speak freely, sir? 201 00:09:12,495 --> 00:09:12,915 No. 202 00:09:12,916 --> 00:09:14,193 Permission to speak freely, sir? 203 00:09:14,194 --> 00:09:14,693 Granted. 204 00:09:14,694 --> 00:09:18,588 Didn't the president say to limit testing because each blast costs $3 billion? 205 00:09:18,589 --> 00:09:20,446 The president's not my father! 206 00:09:20,447 --> 00:09:22,704 I'll blow up as many toilets as I like! 207 00:09:22,705 --> 00:09:24,284 Now continue testing! 208 00:09:25,402 --> 00:09:26,581 How much time do we have? 209 00:09:26,881 --> 00:09:28,439 Uh... None! 210 00:09:30,258 --> 00:09:32,735 They got to be here somewhere. Come on! 211 00:09:34,214 --> 00:09:35,432 We need to split up. 212 00:09:36,012 --> 00:09:38,050 Mordecai! Rigby! 213 00:09:43,464 --> 00:09:44,364 Thanks, lady! 214 00:09:46,222 --> 00:09:47,021 Any luck? 215 00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:47,620 no. 216 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:48,959 We're right here! 217 00:09:52,176 --> 00:09:53,673 It's still stuck! 218 00:09:53,674 --> 00:09:54,513 Get the tools. 219 00:09:54,514 --> 00:09:56,831 Initiate humongous explosion cycle. 220 00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,260 We have to do it together! 221 00:10:08,919 --> 00:10:09,718 On my mark. 222 00:10:09,719 --> 00:10:12,156 3... 2... 1... 223 00:10:13,434 --> 00:10:14,713 Run! 224 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,442 What were you kids thinking? 225 00:10:24,443 --> 00:10:28,498 You're lucky we saw your heat signatures so we could distinguish you from the debris. 226 00:10:28,499 --> 00:10:30,437 Sir, the president's on the line. 227 00:10:32,076 --> 00:10:32,835 Hello? 228 00:10:33,035 --> 00:10:34,772 Thanks for getting us out of there, guys. 229 00:10:34,773 --> 00:10:36,051 Couldn't have done it without you. 230 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,448 Yeah. You guys were hitting that door pretty hard. 231 00:10:38,449 --> 00:10:40,846 C.J. Jumped into a moving helicopter. 232 00:10:40,847 --> 00:10:41,945 Wow. Really? 233 00:10:41,946 --> 00:10:45,461 Well, you know, more like a portable toilet being carried by a helicopter. 234 00:10:45,462 --> 00:10:46,401 Ain't no biggie. 235 00:10:46,402 --> 00:10:49,078 We'rnot the ones getting stuck in portable toilets. 236 00:10:49,079 --> 00:10:51,156 Whatever. It was your bet. 237 00:10:51,157 --> 00:10:52,235 Hey, Eileen, 238 00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:54,552 would you rather sit here and be boring 239 00:10:54,553 --> 00:10:56,710 or go play with that space laser? 240 00:10:56,711 --> 00:10:58,648 Space laser! 241 00:10:58,649 --> 00:11:00,167 Hey, could we try this thing out? 242 00:11:00,168 --> 00:11:01,645 Well, I don't see why not. 243 00:11:01,646 --> 00:11:03,944 Wow. C.J.'s pretty cool. 244 00:11:04,723 --> 00:11:06,242 Yeah. She is.