LOOK, YOU KNOW I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER THAT YOU DIDN'T BACK DOWN FROM GOING ON
THIS DATE WITH C.J.
I ADMIRE THAT.
BUT TONIGHT WE HAD PLANS ...
MAN PLANS ... MANS!
I KNOW. I KNOW.
THIS IS IMPORTANT, AND I TOLD
YOU I WAS SORRY.
YEAH, WELL, "SORRY"
DOESN'T HELP ME EAT A WHOLE
PIZZA AND PRANK-CALL BENSON.
BUT WE DO THIS
EVERY SATURDAY.
I'M ONLY MISSING IT ONCE.
YOU KNOW THIS IS A
TWO-MAN JOB.
I'M NOT HANGING OUT
WITH YOU TONIGHT, DUDE.
UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!
HEY!
HI! HEY!
SO, UH, I'M GLAD YOU COULD MAKE
IT OUT TONIGHT.
WHOA-HO-HO!
YOU'RE A REAL MOVE-MAKER TODAY.
OH.
UH... I MEAN, I THOUGHT ...
HEY, HEY, I'M JUST TEASING.
IT'S COOL.
YOU ALREADY GOT ME ON A DATE.
THERE'S NO NEED TO IMPRESS ME.
[ CHUCKLES
NERVOUSLY ]
YEAH. IT'S COOL. I'M COOL.
PFFT!
ALL RIGHT, COOL GUY.
WHAT ARE WE DOING ON THIS HOT
DATE?
WELL, WE COULD GO
EAT AT THE NEW
FALAFEL FUSION TRUCK, OR THERE'S
THE TRIED-AND-TRUE WING KINGDOM.
AND THEN I WAS THINKING AFTER
THAT WE COULD GO CATCH A MOVIE
OR GO TO TRIVIA NIGHT AT THE
ARCADE OR TAKE A CHANCE ON DISCO
NIGHT DOWN AT THAT WEIRD BINGO
HALL.
YEAH, THAT SOUNDS GOOD.
UH, WHICH ONE?
ALL OF 'EM.
LET'S JUST START AT THE
BEGINNING AND SEE HOW FAR WE
GET.
OKAY.
UH, THAT VAN JUST CAME OUT OF
THIN AIR.
WE SHOULD GO.
DO YOU KNOW THEM?
NOPE.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!
[ CHUCKLES
NERVOUSLY ]
HEY, DEATH. HOW'S IT GOING?
UH... DEATH?
C.J., THIS IS
DEATH ... DEATH, C.J.
CHARMED.
WELL, IT'S BEEN
GREAT RUNNING INTO YOU.
OH, WE'RE NOT THROUGH YET.
YOU'RE GONNA BABYSIT THOMAS
TONIGHT.
AW, MAN.
UM, ACTUALLY, WE WERE JUST
ABOUT TO HEAD OUT OURSELVES.
WELL, YOU'RE IN FOR A CHANGE
OF PLANS, MISSY, BECAUSE THIS
JOKER OWES ME A FAVOR.
HOLD ON A SECOND.
YEAH?
DUDE, I NEED YOU TO
DO ME A HUGE FAVOR AND BABYSIT
THOMAS TONIGHT.
ISN'T HE, LIKE, IN
COLLEGE?
NOT THAT THOMAS ...
DEATH'S THOMAS.
CAN YOU HELP ME OUT?
SORRY TO HEAR THAT,
BUT I'VE GOT SOME IMPORTANT
PLANS I CAN'T CANCEL ON.
SORRY WE HAVE TO
WATCH IT ON MY COMPUTER.
I HAVEN'T HAD A TV SINCE I MOVED
OUT OF MY PARENTS' PLACE.
ARE YOU AT
EILEEN'S?
VERY IMPORTANT!
UGH!
SORRY, C.J.
LOOKS LIKE I CAN'T GET OUT OF
THIS.
WE DON'T HAVE TO GIVE UP ON
OUR DATE JUST BECAUSE OF THOMAS.
REALLY?
YEAH! I'LL JUST HELP YOU
BABYSIT HIM.
I'M SURE WE CAN STILL HAVE A
GOOD TIME.
OKAY. LET'S DO IT!
GLAD TO HEAR IT.
WE'LL PICK HIM UP AT 8:00.
OH, A LITTLE HEADS UP ... THOMAS
IS GOING THROUGH A BIT OF A
PHASE RIGHT NOW.
WAIT. WHAT?
CIAO!
SO... WE MEET AGAIN.
WHOA! HE CAN TALK?
OBVIOUSLY.
YEAH.
HE'S ACTUALLY 300 YEARS OLD.
THEN WHY IS HE SO SHRIMPY?
WHO IS THIS FEMALE?
HER NAME'S C.J.,
AND YOU'RE MESSING WITH OUR DATE
PLANS, SO TRY TO BE NICE, OKAY?
DATE?
UH, YEAH.
AND SHE'S ACTUALLY OKAY WITH
BEING A GIRLFRIEND TO SOMEONE
LIKE YOU?
WELL, SHE'S NOT
REALLY MY GIRLFRIEND YET.
UH, WE'RE JUST ON A DATE RIGHT
NOW.
OH, SUCH SIMPLE MINDS!
YOU MORTALS HAVE THE MOST
HEINOUS RITUALS!
HEY, AT LEAST WE'RE NOT 300
AND STILL WEARING BABY CLOTHES.
WHAT?
HOW DARE YOU?
SO, THOMAS, WHAT DO
YOU WANT TO DO?
TAKE ME TO THE PLAYGROUND!
HEY, NOT A BAD IDEA.
THIS COULD BE PRETTY FUN.
OH, WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
WHERE HAVE YOU TAKEN ME?
TO THE PLAYGROUND, DUDE.
YEAH.
GO RUN AROUND OR SOMETHING.
BUT WHERE'S THE FIRE, THE
BRIMSTONE, THE OVERALL LOSS OF
HOPE?
I DON'T KNOW.
THAT GUY ON THE BENCH LOOKS KIND
OF SAD.
TAKE ME TO THE
UNDERWORLD PLAYGROUND!
YOU HAVEN'T TRIED IT OUT YET.
GIVE IT A CHANCE.
COME ON.
I'LL PUSH YOU ON THE SWINGS.
AHH! GAH!
THIS IS TERRIBLE!
THE SWINGS IN THE UNDERWORLD GO
MUCH HIGHER!
WELL, TOO BAD.
[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC-BOX MUSIC
PLAYING ]
FOLLOW MY LEAD.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M GONNA PUSH YOU REALLY HIGH
THIS TIME.
HUH!
NOW THAT'S A GOOD SWING!
KEEP THIS UP AND I'LL ... W-WAIT.
WHAT THE ...
WANT TO SHARE?
YEAH, SURE.
FOOLS!
YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME ALONE!
YOU ARE HERE TO DO MY BIDDING!
NOW TAKE ME TO THE
UNDERWORLD PLAYGROUND!
WE CAN'T.
JUST PLAY ON THIS PLAYGROUND.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
WHOA-OH-OH!
UNDERWORLD! UNDERWORLD!
I'D TAKE YOU, BUT I
DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO GET
THERE!
I KNOW HOW.
THIS IS HOW.
DUDE, WE CAN'T ALL
FIT ON THAT BIKE.
NOT THAT BIKE ... THAT BIKE.
GREAT, BUT I STILL
DON'T KNOW HOW TO RIDE A
MOTORCYCLE.
I HAVE A MOTORCYCLE LICENSE.
THEN IT'S DECIDED ... THE
FEMALE YOU'RE TRYING TO IMPRESS
WILL DRIVE US.
HOW EMASCULATING.
IT'S PRETTY COOL
YOU KNOW HOW TO RIDE A
MOTORCYCLE.
YEAH. I DID MOTORCROSS WHEN I
WAS YOUNGER.
ENOUGH!
TAKE A LEFT UP AHEAD AND GO INTO
7th GEAR.
7th GEAR?
DO IT!
OKAY! OKAY!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
YOU GET USED TO IT.
AH! AT LAST!
EW. THIS PLAYGROUND DOESN'T
LOOK VERY SAFE.
YOU WANT TO GO SIT
DOWN ON THOSE SWINGS?
I DON'T THINK THEY'LL INCINERATE
US.
SURE.
WOW. LOOK AT HIM GO.
YEAH.
HE'S REALLY IN HIS ELEMENT.
HEY, THANKS FOR
COMING ALONG AND HELPING ME.
I DON'T KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE
WHO'D DO THAT.
WELL, IT'S NO DISCO NIGHT AT
THE BINGO HALL, BUT I'M HAVING A
LOT OF FUN HANGING OUT WITH YOU.
REALLY?
YEAH, REALLY.
YOU KNOW, I THINK THIS DATE IS
GOING PRETTY GOOD.
PUSH ME!
AAH!
UH, YEAH. HERE YOU GO.
DON'T PATRONIZE ME!
THESE ARE BABY SWINGS.
I WAS TO GO ON THE ELDER-BOY
SWINGS.
SURE.
I'LL MEET YOU GUYS THERE.
I GOT TO HIT THE RESTROOM.
I'LL SCREAM IF I NEED YOU.
GOT IT.
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
YOU AND THAT FEMALE
BABYSITTER ARE NEVER GOING TO
CONNECT.
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
OH, IT'S BEEN SO EASY TO GET
BETWEEN YOU ALL DAY.
WHAT A PITIFUL ROMANCE.
I'VE BARELY BEEN ABLE TO KEEP A
STRAIGHT FACE!
WHAT THE ...
YOU'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET
BETWEEN US?
TRYING? HA!
IT'S BEEN AS EFFORTLESS AS IT'S
BEEN ENTERTAINING.
UGH!
YOU LITTLE JERK.
THAT'S IT. WE'RE GOING HOME.
OH, WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
WHAT? NO!
I WILL NOT ASK THIS WOMAN FOR
HER PHONE NUMBER!
HUH?
SHE'S OBVIOUSLY MARRIED!
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE ASKING ME
TO PICK UP WOMEN FOR YOU WHILE
YOUR DATE IS IN THE BATHROOM!
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
HOW AWFUL!
UGH!
WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING?
HEY, GUYS. WHAT'S GOING ON?
[ CHUCKLES
NERVOUSLY ] NOT MUCH.
WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET
OUT OF HERE.
HEY, BUDDY!
YOU TRYING TO PICK UP MY WIFE?
WELL?
NO! NO!
I'M JUST THE BABYSITTER!
WHAT KIND OF SICKO USES A
CHILD TO TRY TO PICK UP A
MARRIED WOMAN?
LOOK, IT'S NOT
REALLY LIKE THAT!
I'D NEVER GO AFTER YOUR WIFE ...
HONEST!
OH? SO, NOW MY WIFE ISN'T
GOOD ENOUGH?
YOU THINK SHE'S REVOLTING JUST
BECAUSE SHE'S PREGNANT WITH
HUNDRUPLETS?
WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!
COME ON!
WE'VE GOT TO GET TO THE BIKE!
UGH!
C.J.!
WAIT! I CAN'T DRIVE!
MY ANKLE IS MESSED UP!
UH, OKAY.
THEN GET IN THE SIDECAR.
TELL ME HOW TO START IT.
AAH! TURN THE KEY!
ON 3, LET THE CLUTCH OUT SLOWLY.
3!
WE'RE NOT GOING
FAST ENOUGH!
GET OUT OF 1st GEAR!
HUH?
YOU STALLED IT!
TURN IT BACK ON!
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
THIS WAS EASY!
UGH! I WAS JUST TRYING TO
LOOK COOL!
CAN'T THIS THING GO ANY
FASTER?
THIS IS ALL YOUR
FAULT!
YOU MAKE IT GO FASTER!
I KNOW A WAY TO GO FASTER.
REALLY?
YEAH. YOU JUST NEED TO GET
RID OF SOME DEAD WEIGHT.
WELL, THEN, HURRY UP!
MY PLEASURE.
WHAT? NO!
STOP THIS AT ONCE!
OH, YEAH? WHY SHOULD I?
THIS WHOLE TIME YOU'VE BEEN
TRYING TO GET BETWEEN ME AND
MORDECAI.
NO! NO!
THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE ME!
YEAH, RIGHT.
YOU TOLD ME SO YOURSELF.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO
THIS DATE FOR A LONG TIME, AND
I'M SICK OF YOU MESSING IT UP!
WELL, OUT YOU GO!
NO! PULL ME IN!
PULL ME IN!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
AAAAAAAAAAH!
I'M THE VICTIM HERE!
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HIT ON MY
WIFE!
I WAS JUST PLAYING WITH MY KIDS!
HUH?
WE TOTALLY TRICKED THOMAS
INTO THINKING WE WERE GONNA
DROP HIM.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
CURSES!
ONE OF MY LEAST FAVORITE THINGS!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
WHOA!
OHH.
WHEN I TELL MY DADDY WHAT YOU'VE
DONE, HE'LL TORTURE YOUR SOULS
FOR ETERNITY!
GOOD LUCK GOING ON DATES THEN.
UH...
SHHHH! SHH, SHH!
WHAT THE ...
SO, LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE
2 FOR 2, MORDO.
IF YOU DON'T WATCH YOURSELF,
I'LL HAVE TO ENLIST YOU AS A
FULL-TIME SITTER!
[ CHUCKLES
NERVOUSLY ]
NOW GET OUT OF MY GARAGE!
WAIT. YOU DON'T GET PAID?
NAH.
HE JUST LETS US LIVE.
WELL, REALLY, I SHOULD THANK
YOU FOR THAT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LEARNED HOW
TO RIDE A BIKE SO FAST.
THAT WAS AWESOME!
YEAH. WELL, I WAS
JUST TRYING TO LOOK COOL.
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
I CAN GET WANTING TO IMPRESS
YOUR DATE.
SO, DID IT WORK?
HE DOESN'T NEED TO
IMPRESS ME.
I ALREADY THINK HE'S COOL.
WELL, HE THINKS THE
SAME ABOUT HER.
YOU'VE REALLY BEEN LOOKING
FORWARD TO THIS FOR A LONG TIME?
YEAH.
WANT A LIFT WHILE
WE TRY TO HAIL A CAB?
OH, PLEASE.
HUP!