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Ugh! Why do we got to watch

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the Wedding Network?

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The Jet Ski Channel

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is just two channels away.

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Shut your face, bro.

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I'm trying to get ideas for

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Starla and I's wedding.

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So far, I thought of

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10-foot-tall onion-ring towers,

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special seats

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that spin doughnuts,

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and a blimp that floats

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above the reception

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and rains barbecue sauce

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on command.

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Do you have an unrealistically

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ambitious wedding?

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No.

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Then become a contestant

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on Married and Broke.

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A twisted new game show

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from the makers of

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Fool Me Once, Shame On You,

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Fool Me Twice,

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I Punch Your Face!"

26
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Oh, I've seen this one

27
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at Eileen's.

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People do the craziest stuff

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for a stupid wedding.

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I give it like a 21/2.

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Out of what?

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I don't know.

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Congratulations!

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We're paying for

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the wedding of your dreams!

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I don't need some demeaning game

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to pay for my wedding.

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I have all the money

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I could ever want.

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What? How?

41
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Smart investments.

42
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Yeah, I've been using

43
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my paychecks to invest

44
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in a little bumper stock called

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the "Ant-Farm Industry."

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Ant farms?

47
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I'm pretty much

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basically rich.

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Talk to me.

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Muscle Man,

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it's your stockbroker.

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I'm calling to tell you that,

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yeah, ant farms are not real.

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Not a real thing to invest in.

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A very bad investment.

56
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And, uh, I am not

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an accredited stockbroker.

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What are you saying,

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Maurice?

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Oh, boy.

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You got no money.

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You just got a bunch of ants.

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Oh-ho-ho!

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Good luck with

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the rest of your life!

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What was that

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all about?

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Babe?

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Babe.

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The flowers for our wedding?

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They're so expensive.

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You won't believe

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how expensive they are!

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Oh, come on.

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How many ant farms

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are we talking here?

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Mitch,

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they don't take ant farms.

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"So, that's why we want

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to be on your... show."

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Thank you.

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Married and Broke

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isn't a crass,

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violent show

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like Fool Me Twice.

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It's a sweet,

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romantic show about love.

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A contestant's hair

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is on fire!

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Ugh! for the last time, Neil,

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the infirmary's next door!

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Thank you, Ma'am!

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Anyway...

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our audience wants to see

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couples they can love,

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and I fear

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you may not be likable

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or relatable enough

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for our

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viewers.

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It's okay, Mitch.

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Our wedding

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will still be fine

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without flowers

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or anything else

106
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a wedding

107
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usually has.

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Uuuugh!

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No one tells my girl where

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she can and can't be on TV!

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She's a goddess!

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You couldn't

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even handle her!

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Mitch! Calm down!

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Hmm. Now, this I like.

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You guys are in.

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Wait. What?

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I said you're in.

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Whoo-hoo!

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Let's go win ourselves

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a wedding!

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I'm gonna get

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the biggest bonus.

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Dude, it's starting.

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Turn it up!

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Turn it up!

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Try not to get crumbs

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on the floor.

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I've noticed an

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ant problem lately.

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Muscle Man's on a game show

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so he can afford

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his lavish wedding.

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Make room for me

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on the couch.

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Hello, everybody, and welcome

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to Married and Broke.

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It's me, your host,

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Mr. Kyle Garrity.

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Let's meet our couples.

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Hello there.

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What's your story?

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Well, we sell puppies.

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But, you know,

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with the economy,

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we couldn't sell enough

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puppies to afford our wedding.

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Can we get a close-up

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on that, Hank?

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Ooh! That is one young dog.

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How about you two?

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Well, thanks

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for asking, Kyle.

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We learned

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about five years ago,

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that there are orphans.

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So, like, we are a foundation

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to end orphanism.

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But we're a non-profit, so we

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need to, like, pay the orphans

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to put together our wedding.

162
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That's so honorable.

163
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Our next contestants,

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Teddy and Tina!

165
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Thank you. Thank you.

166
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We lost our wedding fund

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tragically,

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while fighting in the army

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for our great country.

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We were carrying the money

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on our backs,

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but a grenade blew it up

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while we saved an entire

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platoon from a rebel attack.

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But we'd do it again.

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For America!

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And you two.

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You... uh...

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What's, uh...

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What's all

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this about?

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Well, I'm, like,

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a guy,

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and she's, like,

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a chick.

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and we want 10-foot

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onion rings at our wedding,

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so that's what

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we want to pay for.

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Well, aren't you good

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at stating the idea

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of the show.

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Now for the rules.

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You will compete in a set

195
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of really crazy

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physical challenges.

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The last couple standing

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wins the free wedding.

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May the worst couple fail.

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Huh! Ho!

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00:05:12,246 --> 00:05:13,564
Huh! Ho!

202
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Huh?

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00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,467
Oh, come on!

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Yeah!

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Oh, no, bro!

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We made it at

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the last second.

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And we're left with

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two remaining teams.

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Teddy and Tina.

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How are you two holding up?

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Well, Kyle, after

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that rebel attack,

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we're just happy

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to be here.

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It's like a dream.

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Ah! An American dream!

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And in a very unlikely turn,

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these guys.

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Them.

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Well, on to the final round,

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"Cross the Threshold"!

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The first team to carry their

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fiancée across every threshold

225
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and ring the wed-ding dong wins!

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Uh, doesn't this obstacle course

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look kinda like

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the one from —

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Are we made of money?

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On your marks!

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Get set.

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Mitch...

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We got this, babe.

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Go!

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Mitch!

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Suck it in.

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Got it!

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Come on, babe.

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Mitch!

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Hey!

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Starla, come on!

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We gotta—

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Mitch!

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Huh?

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Starla,

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what's wrong?

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Look at them, Mitch.

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Hup! Hup! Ho!

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Ho!

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What are you seeing here, babe?

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They're the perfect couple,

252
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Mitch.

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They've got something special,

254
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and everyone loves them.

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And where does that leave us?

256
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We're just second-rate.

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People like us

258
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don't get cheered on.

259
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They see our love, and

260
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it makes them wanna vomit.

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Listen, Starla.

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I may have made some bad

263
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investments in my life,

264
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but this relationship

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isn't one of them.

266
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I don't care if people like us,

267
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'cause I love you.

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And we've got something

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they don't have.

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Passion.

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Hold on.

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Do those two have

273
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actual wants

274
00:07:56,361 --> 00:07:57,800
and desires?

275
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I relate to that.

276
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Even though they're really

277
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hard to look at,

278
00:08:00,637 --> 00:08:02,875
they're doing it

279
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for love.

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00:08:02,875 --> 00:08:04,513
Yeah! All right!

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00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:12,505
I've never seen

282
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:12,505
anything like that.

283
00:08:28,649 --> 00:08:30,128
Toss me, Teddy.

284
00:08:39,039 --> 00:08:40,437
Wow! Whoo!

285
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,515
Could we get an instant

286
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,515
replay on that, Hank?

287
00:08:49,828 --> 00:08:51,866
Thank you! Thanks, everyone!

288
00:08:49,828 --> 00:08:51,866
Thank you so much.

289
00:08:51,866 --> 00:08:54,823
U.S.A., eh?

290
00:08:51,866 --> 00:08:54,823
U.S.A., eh?

291
00:08:54,823 --> 00:08:56,501
Huh? Hold up.

292
00:08:56,501 --> 00:08:58,579
U.S.A. only has

293
00:08:56,501 --> 00:08:58,579
three letters in it.

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Say it again, bro.

295
00:09:00,138 --> 00:09:01,576
Uh...

296
00:09:01,576 --> 00:09:03,414
U.S.A... eh?

297
00:09:04,653 --> 00:09:05,612
Eh?

298
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:08,130
All right. Look.

299
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:08,130
We...

300
00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:10,207
We sure are sorry.

301
00:09:10,207 --> 00:09:12,485
We can't help it.

302
00:09:10,207 --> 00:09:12,485
We're Canadians.

303
00:09:13,484 --> 00:09:15,282
How dare you!

304
00:09:15,282 --> 00:09:18,279
So that's why they were

305
00:09:15,282 --> 00:09:18,279
so nice and perfect.

306
00:09:19,598 --> 00:09:21,756
Oh, we sure feel like

307
00:09:19,598 --> 00:09:21,756
a couple of hosers.

308
00:09:21,756 --> 00:09:23,754
We're just simple

309
00:09:21,756 --> 00:09:23,754
maple farmers.

310
00:09:23,754 --> 00:09:25,672
I ride my moose to work,

311
00:09:23,754 --> 00:09:25,672
just like anyone else,

312
00:09:25,672 --> 00:09:28,349
and I put my hockey mask

313
00:09:25,672 --> 00:09:28,349
on one strap at a time.

314
00:09:28,349 --> 00:09:31,666
We thought having a big,

315
00:09:28,349 --> 00:09:31,666
fancy American wedding for free

316
00:09:31,666 --> 00:09:33,384
was more important

317
00:09:31,666 --> 00:09:33,384
than telling the truth.

318
00:09:33,384 --> 00:09:34,463
And we're sorry.

319
00:09:35,902 --> 00:09:38,339
Get — Get them out of my sight.

320
00:09:38,339 --> 00:09:40,018
They are disqualified!

321
00:09:42,695 --> 00:09:44,973
I'm sorry I forgot

322
00:09:42,695 --> 00:09:44,973
your names before,

323
00:09:44,973 --> 00:09:47,730
but television glorifies

324
00:09:44,973 --> 00:09:47,730
beautiful people.

325
00:09:47,730 --> 00:09:50,048
I've actually struggled

326
00:09:47,730 --> 00:09:50,048
with my looks for years.

327
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,686
That's why I grew

328
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,686
this mustache.

329
00:09:51,686 --> 00:09:53,564
Otherwise, I'd look

330
00:09:51,686 --> 00:09:53,564
like a newborn baby.

331
00:09:53,564 --> 00:09:57,240
Muscle Man and Starla

332
00:09:53,564 --> 00:09:57,240
are the winners!

333
00:10:02,275 --> 00:10:05,272
I'm sorry I called us

334
00:10:02,275 --> 00:10:05,272
second-rate, Mitch.

335
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,511
It's all right,

336
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,511
babe.

337
00:10:06,511 --> 00:10:08,429
We'll still have

338
00:10:06,511 --> 00:10:08,429
a first-rate wedding.

339
00:10:08,429 --> 00:10:12,385
Could we have... a blimp

340
00:10:08,429 --> 00:10:12,385
that rains barbecue sauce?

341
00:10:12,385 --> 00:10:14,343
Babe...

342
00:10:18,899 --> 00:10:20,337
Is everyone okay?

343
00:10:20,337 --> 00:10:21,696
I think we got them all.

344
00:10:22,735 --> 00:10:25,172
Curse you,

345
00:10:22,735 --> 00:10:25,172
Mordecai and Rigby!

346
00:10:25,172 --> 00:10:27,170
We'll get you!

347
00:10:27,970 --> 00:10:29,089
Thanks, Pops.

348
00:10:29,089 --> 00:10:30,807
Oh, my pleasure!

349
00:10:30,807 --> 00:10:33,444
So, do you think Muscle Man

350
00:10:30,807 --> 00:10:33,444
and Starla won that game show?