It's gotta be
Full Metal Impact.
Full Metal Impact!
Chugga chugga chugga chugga
chugga chugga chugga chugga!
[HUMMING "THE STARS AND STRIPES
FOREVER']
Never saw that one.
What?
Maybe I'll pick it up on VHS.
Oh!
Benson, we're all
deeply offended
by that word
you just said.
What— "VHS"?
Oh!
What?
Didn't you learn anything
from the format wars?
When was that?
I don't know!
You guys never include me in
stuff outside of work.
If you want to watch it,
you gotta watch it on
the best format.
What format is that?
Well, well, well.
If it isn't
the disc masters.
Hey, man.
One copy of Full Metal Impact
on laser disc, please.
Excellent choice.
And here it is.
Thanks.
Oh, I can't hold it in!
Things been
so wonderful lately!
Thanks to you,
you can't go anywhere
without seeing
a laser disc!
Cool, man.
Can we just get—
Oh, right.
So, what else is new,
dude?
Well, you know,
funny you should bring it up.
I recently saw
something troubling.
It's in the tapestry.
See, back here
is the first prophecy.
Here, you're defeating VHS
during the great format wars
of three months ago.
There's me in
my laser disc guardian form.
And there I am
undergoing painful surgery
to look human again.
Say, who's that handsome devil?
And here we are
at the second prophecy—
Something about
a second format war,
a new format rising,
and it all begins with the
arrival of a fifth disc master.
Hey,
you get the movie yet?
Huh?
No, they just ran out
of paper towels.
Benson, could you move over
there for a sec?
Now go like this.
We must gather the remaining
obsolete formats.
War is coming.
Now, according to
the second prophecy,
a new format will rise
and seek total domination.
The only way to stop it
is with the universal remote.
Whoa!
Aah!
My brothers! Ugh!
Microfiche!
What is this?
New format... called... DVD!
The prophecy!
He has a new weapon called
"special features."
No!
DVD!
The hour is near.
Hurry, my brothers!
Are you sure about this?
Yes.
So... now what?
Now..."the universal remote
shall be revealed.
Ugh! This is ridiculous!
Rigby, put me... down?
Whoa!
Sam's Electronics.
Of course!
Hurry,
disc masters!
Nice work,
guys!
Whoa!
Behold—
The universal remote.
Looks like a "sword in
the stone" type deal.
Since I'm clearly
the strongest,
I'll probably have
no problem pulling it out.
Disc masters,
remember the tapestry.
There's only one person
who can free the remote.
Benson, it's you.
Yeah.
Ugh. Seriously?
I actually did it.
Muscle Man couldn't even do it,
and I actually did it!
You guys go through this
every time you want to watch
a laser disc?
Yeah, pretty much.
Mm-hmm.
Not so fast, guardians!
We've got you surrounded!
Give up!
Who are you?
Are you really that dense,
old man?
Microfiche knew who I was.
DVD!
Way to crack the jewel case,
laser disc Holmes.
Or should I say...
Sherlock, Father?
I... have a son?
Why am I not surprised?
Another cheap knock-off
of the real deal!
Cheap knock-off?
Not only do I hold
more data than you,
I'm smaller and more
compact too.
Hate to break it to you, kid.
All through history, man has
favored large things—
Large horses,
large bank accounts,
large ice cream sundaes.
Nobody's gonna want this.
Size matters!
Laser discs are
everywhere now.
Yeah!
Good luck having people
switch to "DVD."
Probably stands for
"disc that's very dumb."
Whoa!
It stands for
"digital versatile disc."
You'll know DVD soon enough.
Meet my new ally—
Internet!
Neutralize obsolete formats.
LOL.
With Internet controlling
my army via Wi-Fi,
the world
will quickly know DVD.
Bow down to your new master,
Father.
Never!
Okay. Can we just—
Look, I don't know if you know,
but I'm the fifth disc master,
so... DVD, say good night!
What's going on?
Enter DVD device code.
How do we get the device codes?
Uh...
Prepare to become obsolete.
The all-format army!
Not so fast, DVD!
Who's that?
That's Eniac,
the first digital computer.
You didn't expect
us old formats to step aside
while you make these
video-store clerks
learn a new format, did you?
Yeah! They're not paying us
enough to learn new stuff, man!
Charge!
Eniac!
Attack!
What's the status of
the DVD code?
These instructions
are complicated.
I'm on it. What's
the tech-support number?
Take shelter!
We'll hold 'em off
till you find the code.
Initiate firewall.
Enter device code.
Stop talking!
Person— I wanna speak
to a live person!
Universal remote tech desk.
How may I help you?
Finally!
No!
Eject the disc fighters!
You're all mine, DVD!
Ha! That was just
an alternate ending.
Here's how it really ends!
Why am I doing this?
Because you left me and Mom
when I was just a mini disc.
Where were you
when my product launched?
Where were you
when I said my first words?
What were they?
"Laser disc rules." So... yeah.
You're... sorry?
You wanna start
the road to healing?
Oh, Dad, I—
Father!
This wasn't
part of the plan!
All obsolete formats
must be neutralized.
I'm not obsolete,
idiot!
All obsolete formats
must be neutralized.
Stop saying that!
Special features!
Nobody cares about
special features.
Only content matters.
I can stream it directly to
their PC, laptop, or tablet.
TV is dead, and so are you.
Have a heart!
404. Not found.
Streaming content.
Try this one— 73928.
Look lively, troops.
Aah! It's like we got
all the codes except DVD!
Come on!
I've made
a terrible mistake.
Internet is unstoppable!
Why should we help you?
If you don't,
the world will have to settle
for poorly compressed
video on the web...
Forever.
Look, internet's power comes
from his Wi-Fi server.
Wi-Fi... server.
DVD, give us your code!
Yeah-eah!
Termination incomplete.
Must neutralize all threats.
Rigby... the remote.
Remote cannot control internet.
But we can control
everything else.
Guys, now!
Losing signal. No!
No!
The disc masters
have triumphed!
The format wars
are over at last!
['THE STARS AND STRIPES
FOREVER" PLAYS]
That was awesome! Ha, ha!
Fidelity is not a priority
for consumers.
Free streaming content
will conquer all.