1 00:00:33,947 --> 00:00:35,949 T-T-T-This is just sloppy craftsmanship. 2 00:00:36,032 --> 00:00:37,367 Hey, Rick. 3 00:00:37,450 --> 00:00:40,620 Boy, sure is reality especially beautiful out there today, huh? 4 00:00:40,703 --> 00:00:41,913 Oh, yes, Morty. 5 00:00:41,996 --> 00:00:43,790 I-it's almost unbelievable, isn't it? 6 00:00:43,873 --> 00:00:44,916 Yeah, you know? 7 00:00:44,999 --> 00:00:46,167 There's something about the air 8 00:00:46,251 --> 00:00:47,877 and just the way the sunshine is. 9 00:00:47,961 --> 00:00:48,878 Uh, sure, buddy. Yeah. 10 00:00:48,962 --> 00:00:50,630 Sure. B-brilliant. Very convincing. 11 00:00:50,713 --> 00:00:51,631 Wha— convincing? 12 00:00:51,714 --> 00:00:52,799 Oh. Responsive, too. 13 00:00:52,882 --> 00:00:54,175 In real time. I love it. 14 00:00:54,259 --> 00:00:55,844 Uhh... okay. 15 00:00:55,927 --> 00:00:57,095 I'm going to work. 16 00:00:57,178 --> 00:00:58,513 Morty, good morning. 17 00:00:58,596 --> 00:00:59,639 Dad, good morning. 18 00:00:59,722 --> 00:01:01,599 I am going to work. Goodbye. 19 00:01:01,683 --> 00:01:03,101 What's with mom? 20 00:01:03,184 --> 00:01:04,602 Oh, what's with mom? 21 00:01:04,686 --> 00:01:06,521 So, you're saying that she's acting weird? 22 00:01:06,604 --> 00:01:08,106 How sophisticated. 23 00:01:08,189 --> 00:01:09,399 Careful, guys. 24 00:01:09,482 --> 00:01:11,276 You're gonna burn out the CPU with this one. 25 00:01:11,359 --> 00:01:12,569 Okay, you know what, Rick? 26 00:01:12,652 --> 00:01:13,736 You're acting weird, too. 27 00:01:13,820 --> 00:01:16,573 Whatever, quote-unquote "Morty." 28 00:01:16,656 --> 00:01:17,824 All right, well... 29 00:01:17,907 --> 00:01:19,159 I'll see you after school. 30 00:01:19,242 --> 00:01:20,994 Ow! Oof! Ugh! 31 00:01:21,077 --> 00:01:22,078 Damn it! 32 00:01:22,162 --> 00:01:23,329 I'm all right. I'm okay. 33 00:01:25,665 --> 00:01:28,835 All right, who can tell me what 5×9 is? 34 00:01:30,628 --> 00:01:31,463 Morty? 35 00:01:31,546 --> 00:01:32,422 Uh, me? 36 00:01:32,505 --> 00:01:33,673 What is 5×9? 37 00:01:33,756 --> 00:01:36,843 Umm... you know, it's uhh ... at least 40. 38 00:01:38,094 --> 00:01:40,305 Morty, that's exactly correct! 39 00:01:40,388 --> 00:01:42,891 5×9 is at least 40! 40 00:01:42,974 --> 00:01:43,850 Come up here. 41 00:01:43,933 --> 00:01:45,268 Whoo! Way to go, Morty! 42 00:01:45,351 --> 00:01:47,729 Everybody, this is the best student. 43 00:01:47,812 --> 00:01:49,731 I want you to be the teacher today. 44 00:01:49,814 --> 00:01:51,191 Teach us, Morty! 45 00:01:51,274 --> 00:01:52,442 Interesting. 46 00:01:52,525 --> 00:01:53,902 W-w-w-what do you want me to teach you? 47 00:01:53,985 --> 00:01:55,028 Ooh, ooh! 48 00:01:55,111 --> 00:01:56,863 How do you make concentrated dark matter? 49 00:01:56,946 --> 00:01:58,114 Oh, that's a good question. 50 00:01:58,198 --> 00:01:59,532 Concentrated huh? 51 00:01:59,616 --> 00:02:00,742 Concentrated dark matter — 52 00:02:00,825 --> 00:02:03,328 the fuel for accelerated space travel. 53 00:02:03,411 --> 00:02:04,412 Now, do you know how to make it? 54 00:02:04,496 --> 00:02:05,371 Umm... 55 00:02:05,455 --> 00:02:06,372 Come on, Morty. 56 00:02:06,456 --> 00:02:08,625 Isn't your grandpa, like, a scientist? 57 00:02:08,708 --> 00:02:11,252 Oh, yeah, but, you know, he told me that I shouldn't go 58 00:02:11,336 --> 00:02:13,963 around spouting off about, you know, his science and stuff. 59 00:02:14,047 --> 00:02:17,050 I bet you've seen him make concentrated dark matter a lot. 60 00:02:17,133 --> 00:02:20,303 You know, if you tell us, I'll be your girlfriend. 61 00:02:20,386 --> 00:02:21,471 Uh, y-you will? 62 00:02:21,554 --> 00:02:23,473 Seems like a rare opportunity, Morty. 63 00:02:24,933 --> 00:02:26,684 Morty, u-uh, come on. There's a family emergency. 64 00:02:26,768 --> 00:02:27,852 Stop right there! 65 00:02:27,936 --> 00:02:29,062 If he leaves, I'm giving him an "F." 66 00:02:29,145 --> 00:02:30,104 He doesn't care. 67 00:02:30,188 --> 00:02:31,147 Aw, man! 68 00:02:31,231 --> 00:02:32,565 Rick, I have to go back! 69 00:02:32,649 --> 00:02:34,025 I think I was about to get married! 70 00:02:34,108 --> 00:02:35,193 Ugh! Take a shower with me, Morty. 71 00:02:35,276 --> 00:02:36,110 What? 72 00:02:36,194 --> 00:02:37,403 Listen to me, Morty. 73 00:02:37,487 --> 00:02:39,280 Get your clothes off and get in the shower right now. 74 00:02:39,364 --> 00:02:41,074 Y-y-y-you got to trust me, Morty. 75 00:02:41,157 --> 00:02:42,116 Ugh! 76 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:43,493 I'm gonna get an "F" in class, Rick. 77 00:02:43,576 --> 00:02:44,702 Morty, that's not class. 78 00:02:44,786 --> 00:02:46,246 T-T-T-That wasn't your teacher. 79 00:02:46,329 --> 00:02:47,497 This isn't your school. 80 00:02:47,580 --> 00:02:49,123 This entire world is not the world. 81 00:02:49,207 --> 00:02:51,584 We're inside a huge simulation chamber on an alien spaceship. 82 00:02:51,668 --> 00:02:52,585 Wait a minute. 83 00:02:52,669 --> 00:02:53,836 W-what are you talking about? 84 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:55,755 It's all fake Morty — all of it. 85 00:02:55,838 --> 00:02:59,592 Nanobotic renderings, a bunch of crazy fake nonsense, Morty. 86 00:02:59,676 --> 00:03:01,427 I couldn't say so until we got in the shower. 87 00:03:01,511 --> 00:03:02,720 They won't monitor us in here. 88 00:03:02,804 --> 00:03:04,305 Monitor us? W-who? 89 00:03:04,389 --> 00:03:05,807 Zigerion scammers, Morty — 90 00:03:05,890 --> 00:03:08,977 the Galaxy's most ambitious, least successful con artists. 91 00:03:09,060 --> 00:03:11,229 You know, it's lucky for us they're also really 92 00:03:11,312 --> 00:03:12,272 uncomfortable with nudity. 93 00:03:12,355 --> 00:03:13,523 Aw, come on, Rick. 94 00:03:13,606 --> 00:03:14,857 If everyone's just gonna be insane today, 95 00:03:14,941 --> 00:03:16,985 at least let me be insane with Jessica. 96 00:03:17,068 --> 00:03:18,027 I can't let you do that, Morty. 97 00:03:18,111 --> 00:03:18,903 Give it to me! 98 00:03:18,987 --> 00:03:19,779 No! 99 00:03:19,862 --> 00:03:20,697 You give it to me! 100 00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:22,615 G-g-give it! No, Rick! 101 00:03:31,416 --> 00:03:33,084 Oh, God, Sir! They're still naked! 102 00:03:33,167 --> 00:03:34,627 Ugh. 103 00:03:34,711 --> 00:03:36,963 Well, check every five Quintons and tell me when they're not 104 00:03:37,046 --> 00:03:39,257 I think we should make Kevin look, sir. 105 00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:40,300 What? No! 106 00:03:40,383 --> 00:03:41,801 W-w-why would you even say that? 107 00:03:41,884 --> 00:03:43,928 Uh, sir, we have a situation over here. 108 00:03:44,012 --> 00:03:45,555 If there's a wiener on that monitor, 109 00:03:45,638 --> 00:03:47,140 I swear to god, Stu... 110 00:03:47,223 --> 00:03:49,142 something is drawing a lot of processing power. 111 00:03:49,225 --> 00:03:50,393 Oh, wait. No wonder. 112 00:03:50,476 --> 00:03:52,854 There's another real human in the simulator. 113 00:03:52,937 --> 00:03:55,189 Okay. Jerry — big pitch meeting. 114 00:03:55,273 --> 00:03:56,399 Make-or-br. eak time. 115 00:03:57,483 --> 00:03:58,401 You can do this. 116 00:03:58,484 --> 00:03:59,527 How did this happen? 117 00:03:59,611 --> 00:04:01,029 Where's the Abductions Department? 118 00:04:01,112 --> 00:04:03,656 Hey, man, Abductions just follows the acquisition order. 119 00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:05,158 Don't put this on Acquisitions! 120 00:04:05,241 --> 00:04:07,785 We only acquire humans that haven't been simulated! 121 00:04:07,869 --> 00:04:10,580 Well, simulations doesn't simulate anybody that's been 122 00:04:10,663 --> 00:04:12,790 abducted, so oh, I see! 123 00:04:12,874 --> 00:04:14,167 Oh, oh! It was no one's fault. 124 00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:15,418 Oh, okay. 125 00:04:15,501 --> 00:04:16,669 I'm sorry. Well, then, problem solved. 126 00:04:16,753 --> 00:04:17,795 Oh, wait — no. 127 00:04:17,879 --> 00:04:19,839 There's still another human in here! 128 00:04:19,922 --> 00:04:21,257 Who is he? 129 00:04:21,341 --> 00:04:22,842 Rick's son-in-law, Jerry Smith. 130 00:04:22,925 --> 00:04:25,720 So far, he hasn't noticed he's in a simulation. 131 00:04:26,888 --> 00:04:28,348 Well, cap his sector at 5%% processing, 132 00:04:28,431 --> 00:04:30,558 keep his settings on auto, and we'll deal with him later. 133 00:04:30,642 --> 00:04:32,769 Rick Sanchez is the target. 134 00:04:35,355 --> 00:04:36,356 Got to relax. 135 00:04:36,439 --> 00:04:37,732 It's just a pitch. 136 00:04:37,815 --> 00:04:39,067 Got to relax. 137 00:04:40,943 --> 00:04:42,403 This is Earth radio. 138 00:04:42,487 --> 00:04:45,114 And now, here's... human music. 139 00:04:48,409 --> 00:04:50,328 Hmm. Human music. 140 00:04:50,411 --> 00:04:52,872 I like it. 141 00:05:05,968 --> 00:05:06,886 Rick! 142 00:05:06,969 --> 00:05:08,054 Uhp, uhp, uhp! 143 00:05:08,137 --> 00:05:09,430 Morty, keep your hands off your ding-dong! 144 00:05:09,514 --> 00:05:10,932 It's the only way we can speak freely. 145 00:05:11,015 --> 00:05:12,225 Look around you, Morty. 146 00:05:12,308 --> 00:05:14,352 Do you really think this world is real? 147 00:05:14,435 --> 00:05:17,021 You'd have to be an idiot not to notice all the sloppy details. 148 00:05:17,105 --> 00:05:19,232 Look — that guy's putting a bun between two hot dogs. 149 00:05:19,315 --> 00:05:20,358 I don't know, Rick. 150 00:05:20,441 --> 00:05:21,901 I mean, I've seen people do that before. 151 00:05:21,984 --> 00:05:23,236 Well, look at that old lady. 152 00:05:23,319 --> 00:05:24,946 She's — she's walking a cat on a leash. 153 00:05:25,029 --> 00:05:26,948 Uh, Mrs. Spencer does that all the time, Rick. 154 00:05:27,031 --> 00:05:29,367 Look, I-I-I don't want to hear about Mrs. Spencer, Morty! 155 00:05:29,450 --> 00:05:30,535 She's an idiot! 156 00:05:30,618 --> 00:05:31,494 All right, all right, there. 157 00:05:31,577 --> 00:05:32,745 W-what about that, Morty? 158 00:05:32,829 --> 00:05:34,580 Okay, okay, you got me on that one. 159 00:05:34,664 --> 00:05:35,790 Oh, really, Morty? 160 00:05:35,873 --> 00:05:37,333 Are you sure you haven't seen that somewhere 161 00:05:37,417 --> 00:05:38,292 in real life before? 162 00:05:38,376 --> 00:05:39,627 No, no. I haven't seen that. 163 00:05:39,711 --> 00:05:41,671 I mean, why would a pop tart want to live inside 164 00:05:41,754 --> 00:05:43,089 a toaster, Rick? 165 00:05:43,172 --> 00:05:45,550 I mean, that would be, like, the scariest place for them to live. 166 00:05:45,633 --> 00:05:46,676 You know what I mean? 167 00:05:46,759 --> 00:05:47,927 You're missing the point, Morty. 168 00:05:48,010 --> 00:05:49,929 Why would he drive a smaller toaster with wheels? 169 00:05:50,012 --> 00:05:52,515 I mean, does your car look like a smaller version of your house? 170 00:05:52,598 --> 00:05:53,641 No. 171 00:05:53,725 --> 00:05:54,726 So, why are they doing this? 172 00:05:54,809 --> 00:05:55,893 W-what do they want? 173 00:05:55,977 --> 00:05:57,061 Well, that would be obvious to you, Morty, 174 00:05:57,145 --> 00:05:58,354 if you'd been paying attention. 175 00:06:01,023 --> 00:06:02,859 We got the President of the United States in here! 176 00:06:02,942 --> 00:06:05,778 We need 10cc of concentrated dark matter, stat, or he'll die! 177 00:06:05,862 --> 00:06:07,822 Concentrated dark matter? 178 00:06:07,905 --> 00:06:09,532 They were asking about that in class. 179 00:06:09,615 --> 00:06:11,284 Yeah, it's a special fuel I invented to travel through 180 00:06:11,367 --> 00:06:12,994 space faster than anybody else. 181 00:06:13,077 --> 00:06:15,246 These Zigerions are always trying to scam me out of my secrets, 182 00:06:15,329 --> 00:06:17,874 but they made a big mistake this time, Morty. 183 00:06:17,957 --> 00:06:19,751 They dragged you into this. 184 00:06:19,834 --> 00:06:20,918 Now they're gonna pay! 185 00:06:21,002 --> 00:06:22,545 What do you — w-w-what are we gonna do? 186 00:06:22,628 --> 00:06:24,547 We'll scam the scammers, Morty. 187 00:06:24,630 --> 00:06:27,341 And we're gonna take them for everything they've got. 188 00:06:27,425 --> 00:06:30,052 National Apple Farmers of America, 189 00:06:30,136 --> 00:06:32,221 welcome to our Ad Agency. 190 00:06:32,305 --> 00:06:34,223 I'm Jerry Smith. 191 00:06:35,349 --> 00:06:36,267 All right. 192 00:06:36,350 --> 00:06:37,727 I'll just... get to the pitch. 193 00:06:37,810 --> 00:06:41,773 Um, simple question, gentlemen, what are apples? 194 00:06:41,856 --> 00:06:43,191 Excuse me. 195 00:06:43,274 --> 00:06:44,984 Ahh. 196 00:06:47,195 --> 00:06:49,071 What are apples? 197 00:06:49,155 --> 00:06:51,741 Apples are food. 198 00:06:51,824 --> 00:06:54,327 And... when do we need food? 199 00:06:54,410 --> 00:06:56,287 When we're hungry. 200 00:06:57,455 --> 00:07:00,416 With that, I give you your new slogan! 201 00:07:02,084 --> 00:07:03,920 Well, say something! 202 00:07:04,003 --> 00:07:05,004 Do you like it? 203 00:07:05,087 --> 00:07:06,130 Yes. 204 00:07:06,214 --> 00:07:07,131 You do? 205 00:07:07,215 --> 00:07:08,257 Yes. 206 00:07:08,341 --> 00:07:09,884 So... I sold it? 207 00:07:09,967 --> 00:07:11,886 I sold the idea? 208 00:07:11,969 --> 00:07:12,929 Yes. 209 00:07:13,012 --> 00:07:14,639 Oh, my god! Thank you! 210 00:07:14,722 --> 00:07:16,599 Thank you. 211 00:07:16,682 --> 00:07:17,600 You're welcome. 212 00:07:21,979 --> 00:07:23,105 Hey! 213 00:07:23,189 --> 00:07:24,565 I just sold my first pitch! 214 00:07:26,108 --> 00:07:27,235 Slow down! Lookin' good. 215 00:07:27,318 --> 00:07:28,402 My man! 216 00:07:31,197 --> 00:07:32,323 Hello. 217 00:07:32,406 --> 00:07:34,617 Guess who just sold the apples campaign. 218 00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:36,327 Who just sold the apples campaign? 219 00:07:36,410 --> 00:07:37,787 Me! 220 00:07:37,870 --> 00:07:40,498 I guess it wasn't a rip-off of "Got milk? " after all. 221 00:07:40,581 --> 00:07:42,375 Guess someone was wrong. 222 00:07:42,458 --> 00:07:43,543 Yes. 223 00:07:43,626 --> 00:07:45,086 Well, all is forgiven, because right now, 224 00:07:45,169 --> 00:07:47,421 I've got an erection the size of an East coast lighthouse, 225 00:07:47,505 --> 00:07:49,590 and I'm coming home to share it with my beautiful wife. 226 00:07:49,674 --> 00:07:50,508 Okay. 227 00:07:50,591 --> 00:07:51,384 Wait — really? 228 00:07:51,467 --> 00:07:52,301 Yes. 229 00:07:52,385 --> 00:07:54,136 Yes! See you in 10 minutes! 230 00:07:54,220 --> 00:07:55,179 Hey! 231 00:07:55,263 --> 00:07:56,806 I'm going to make love to my wife! 232 00:07:56,889 --> 00:07:58,224 Lookin' good. 233 00:07:58,307 --> 00:07:59,100 Slow down! 234 00:07:59,183 --> 00:08:00,059 My man! 235 00:08:01,602 --> 00:08:02,854 Aw, geez, Rick. 236 00:08:02,937 --> 00:08:04,605 I-I don't know if I like this plan, you know? 237 00:08:04,689 --> 00:08:07,525 I mean, crowds, t-t-t-they have a tendency 238 00:08:07,608 --> 00:08:08,568 to make me reality nervous. 239 00:08:08,651 --> 00:08:09,777 Morty, relax. 240 00:08:09,861 --> 00:08:11,529 It's just a bunch of 1s and 0s out there. 241 00:08:11,612 --> 00:08:12,822 You're gonna be fine. 242 00:08:12,905 --> 00:08:14,073 Just follow my lead. 243 00:08:14,156 --> 00:08:15,658 Yo, deejay, drop that beat. 244 00:08:18,536 --> 00:08:19,996 Uh-oh, Morty. 245 00:08:20,079 --> 00:08:23,165 This crowd looks too small for one of our famous rap concerts. 246 00:08:23,249 --> 00:08:25,084 I don't think we can perform our new song, 247 00:08:25,167 --> 00:08:27,378 "The Recipe for Concentrated Dark Matter," 248 00:08:27,461 --> 00:08:28,588 for a crowd this tiny. 249 00:08:28,671 --> 00:08:30,172 You got that right, Rick. 250 00:08:33,634 --> 00:08:35,303 Now that's more like it! 251 00:08:35,386 --> 00:08:37,013 Morty, here we go. 252 00:08:37,096 --> 00:08:39,974 Let me hear everybody say "Hey-oh!" yeah! 253 00:08:41,475 --> 00:08:42,768 All the ladies say, "Yeah!" 254 00:08:43,936 --> 00:08:46,105 Everybody over 30, do this with your hands! 255 00:08:46,188 --> 00:08:48,774 Everybody with a red shirt, jump up and down! 256 00:09:00,661 --> 00:09:01,746 Mm. Mm. Mm. 257 00:09:01,829 --> 00:09:03,289 Yeah, don't move. 258 00:09:03,372 --> 00:09:05,583 Mm, mm, mm, mm! 259 00:09:05,666 --> 00:09:06,959 Mm! 260 00:09:08,294 --> 00:09:09,754 Yo, everyone whose first name begins with an "L" 261 00:09:09,837 --> 00:09:12,465 who isn't Hispanic, walk in a circle the same number of times 262 00:09:12,548 --> 00:09:15,176 as the square root of your age times 10! 263 00:09:18,512 --> 00:09:19,305 Run, Morty! 264 00:09:19,388 --> 00:09:20,598 Before the system reboots! 265 00:09:22,099 --> 00:09:23,142 Yeah! You like that? 266 00:09:23,225 --> 00:09:25,227 Now who's unremarkable? 267 00:09:25,311 --> 00:09:26,771 You hungry for apples? 268 00:09:28,439 --> 00:09:30,483 Are you hungry... for... apples? 269 00:09:35,571 --> 00:09:37,114 Oh, my God. 270 00:09:37,198 --> 00:09:40,034 That's the best sex I've ever had in my life. 271 00:09:40,117 --> 00:09:44,330 It's... it's... too good. 272 00:09:44,413 --> 00:09:46,624 I don't deserve this, Beth. 273 00:09:46,707 --> 00:09:48,793 I'm a fraud. 274 00:09:48,876 --> 00:09:49,835 Oh, man, Rick! 275 00:09:49,919 --> 00:09:51,170 W-w-w-where we running to? 276 00:09:51,253 --> 00:09:52,505 Out of the simulation, Morty. 277 00:09:52,588 --> 00:09:54,507 Normally, the chamber operates like a treadmill, 278 00:09:54,590 --> 00:09:56,342 with the virtual world disappearing behind us 279 00:09:56,425 --> 00:09:58,386 and being rendered in front of us as we move through it, 280 00:09:58,469 --> 00:10:01,430 but while it's frozen, Morty, we can get to... 281 00:10:01,514 --> 00:10:03,140 the edge. 282 00:10:03,224 --> 00:10:04,183 Here we go. 283 00:10:04,266 --> 00:10:05,142 Holy crap! 284 00:10:05,226 --> 00:10:06,185 Come on, Morty. 285 00:10:07,853 --> 00:10:09,897 Sir, they're over the edge. 286 00:10:09,981 --> 00:10:11,065 Yes, they are. 287 00:10:11,148 --> 00:10:14,068 Just... as... planned. 288 00:10:18,030 --> 00:10:19,949 Oh, this is going to be such a mindful! 289 00:10:22,118 --> 00:10:24,328 Keep your eyes peeled for the central processing room, Morty. 290 00:10:24,412 --> 00:10:26,080 That's how we're gonna scam these idiots. 291 00:10:26,163 --> 00:10:28,499 So, hey, why do these aliens keep coming after you, Rick, 292 00:10:28,582 --> 00:10:29,959 if you're so much smarter than them? 293 00:10:30,042 --> 00:10:31,627 It's an obsession for them at this point. 294 00:10:31,711 --> 00:10:33,546 The Zigerions have been trying to outsmart 295 00:10:33,629 --> 00:10:34,839 me for years, Morty. 296 00:10:34,922 --> 00:10:36,924 Every time they do, I'm one step ahead of them. 297 00:10:37,008 --> 00:10:38,050 Aha! 298 00:10:38,134 --> 00:10:39,218 Here we go. 299 00:10:40,636 --> 00:10:42,430 Grab as many processors as you can carry, Morty. 300 00:10:42,513 --> 00:10:43,889 These guys aren't good at much, 301 00:10:43,973 --> 00:10:46,183 but they're really good at making these chips. 302 00:10:47,601 --> 00:10:49,103 I've got so many, I can barely hold them all. 303 00:10:50,187 --> 00:10:51,188 Look at — look at this. 304 00:10:51,272 --> 00:10:52,231 Oops. I dropped one. 305 00:10:52,314 --> 00:10:53,649 Don't worry about it, Morty. 306 00:10:53,733 --> 00:10:55,151 There's plenty of them, you tittle goofball. 307 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:57,903 Come here, Morty! Oh, I gotcha! 308 00:10:57,987 --> 00:10:58,863 Come on, quit it, Rick! 309 00:10:58,946 --> 00:11:00,239 Quit it! 310 00:11:00,322 --> 00:11:02,241 Nothing wrong with just a Little bit of horseplay every 311 00:11:02,324 --> 00:11:03,868 now and then, little fella. 312 00:11:15,629 --> 00:11:16,839 Wow. What do you know? 313 00:11:16,922 --> 00:11:18,257 Huh. That was easy. 314 00:11:18,340 --> 00:11:20,760 Totes malotes, dawg. 315 00:11:20,843 --> 00:11:21,969 Just kind of hard to believe, you know? 316 00:11:22,053 --> 00:11:23,429 Believe it, Morty. 317 00:11:23,512 --> 00:11:25,723 And once again, I'm flying away with everything I can carry, 318 00:11:25,806 --> 00:11:28,225 and the Zigerions got nothing of mine. 319 00:11:34,482 --> 00:11:35,691 Mr. Marklevitz, do you have a... 320 00:11:35,775 --> 00:11:36,901 minute to talk? 321 00:11:36,984 --> 00:11:38,360 Yes. 322 00:11:38,444 --> 00:11:40,029 Look, I'm a fraud. 323 00:11:40,112 --> 00:11:41,572 I mean, let's face it — 324 00:11:41,655 --> 00:11:44,075 "Hungry For Apples" is just a rip-off of "Got Milk?" 325 00:11:44,158 --> 00:11:45,367 It's almost identical. 326 00:11:45,451 --> 00:11:46,660 Yes. 327 00:11:46,744 --> 00:11:47,953 Okay. 328 00:11:48,037 --> 00:11:49,205 I deserve that. 329 00:11:49,288 --> 00:11:52,583 Umm... l guess... I'll just pack up my desk. 330 00:11:52,666 --> 00:11:53,876 Yes. 331 00:11:56,712 --> 00:11:59,298 Oh, my God. 332 00:11:59,381 --> 00:12:01,926 Wait. You know what? No! 333 00:12:02,009 --> 00:12:04,011 The milk people don't have a patent on 334 00:12:04,095 --> 00:12:05,971 simple rhetorical questions! 335 00:12:06,055 --> 00:12:08,516 There's not even a single word in "Hungry For Apples" that's 336 00:12:08,599 --> 00:12:10,392 shared by "Got Milk?" 337 00:12:10,476 --> 00:12:12,311 It's a completely different slogan. 338 00:12:12,394 --> 00:12:13,687 It's different! 339 00:12:13,771 --> 00:12:15,689 And I shouldn't be fired. 340 00:12:15,773 --> 00:12:17,399 I should be pr-promoted! 341 00:12:17,483 --> 00:12:18,651 - Yes. - Yeah! 342 00:12:18,734 --> 00:12:19,693 Wait. Really? 343 00:12:19,777 --> 00:12:20,820 - Yes. - Yes! 344 00:12:20,903 --> 00:12:22,446 I mean, I'm — it may be derivative, 345 00:12:22,530 --> 00:12:24,323 but it's the most successful campaign to come out of this 346 00:12:24,406 --> 00:12:25,324 agency in a long time. 347 00:12:25,407 --> 00:12:26,826 Yes. 348 00:12:26,909 --> 00:12:28,828 I-I'm not saying it should win an award for commercials, 349 00:12:28,911 --> 00:12:30,913 but it could certainly be nominated for an award 350 00:12:30,996 --> 00:12:32,873 for commercials specifically about apples, 351 00:12:32,957 --> 00:12:34,583 like... an Appley or something. 352 00:12:34,667 --> 00:12:35,668 Yes. 353 00:12:35,751 --> 00:12:36,794 Is there really an award catted the Appley 354 00:12:36,877 --> 00:12:38,003 for Apple-Related ad campaigns? 355 00:12:38,087 --> 00:12:39,130 Yes. 356 00:12:39,213 --> 00:12:40,422 - Could we nominate me? - Yes. 357 00:12:40,506 --> 00:12:42,258 Holy crap! 358 00:12:48,139 --> 00:12:49,557 Get in, Morty. 359 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:52,226 I'm gonna be able to use these processors to make some 360 00:12:52,309 --> 00:12:54,019 real important science stuff. 361 00:12:56,564 --> 00:12:57,773 Huh. 362 00:12:57,857 --> 00:12:59,024 I thought I entered the code right. 363 00:13:07,324 --> 00:13:08,826 Wha — well, what's this? 364 00:13:08,909 --> 00:13:11,370 W-what could this possibly be? 365 00:13:11,453 --> 00:13:14,039 Because it looks like you're inside a simulation... 366 00:13:14,123 --> 00:13:16,959 inside a simulation. 367 00:13:17,042 --> 00:13:18,586 You're still on the ship. 368 00:13:18,669 --> 00:13:20,212 Game-day bucket go boom. 369 00:13:20,296 --> 00:13:22,798 Sir, the, uh, doctor's appointment to examine the 370 00:13:22,882 --> 00:13:24,967 discoloration on your butt hole flaps was — 371 00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:26,385 Too loud, Cynthia. 372 00:13:26,468 --> 00:13:27,636 Too loud and too specific. 373 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:28,637 Uhh... 374 00:13:29,930 --> 00:13:31,724 We've known how to make concentrated dark matter 375 00:13:31,807 --> 00:13:33,767 for a long time. 376 00:13:33,851 --> 00:13:39,273 But now we also know the code to your fabled safe, Rick Sanchez! 377 00:13:39,356 --> 00:13:42,860 All your most valuable secrets will now be ours! 378 00:13:42,943 --> 00:13:44,612 Uh, yeah, until I get home before you and change the 379 00:13:44,695 --> 00:13:46,197 combination, you bunch of idiots! 380 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,615 That is why you're never getting home. 381 00:13:47,698 --> 00:13:48,824 Get them! 382 00:13:52,453 --> 00:13:55,289 Run, Morty! 383 00:14:02,504 --> 00:14:04,340 Oh, my God! 384 00:14:20,856 --> 00:14:21,857 Ow! 385 00:14:30,991 --> 00:14:32,117 I got to tell you, this morning, 386 00:14:32,201 --> 00:14:33,661 I didn't even know this award existed. 387 00:14:33,744 --> 00:14:35,204 Now I'm landholding. 388 00:14:35,287 --> 00:14:37,581 And... um... 389 00:14:37,665 --> 00:14:41,418 look, I want to say that today was the best day of my life... 390 00:14:41,502 --> 00:14:45,631 but... the truth is, it's — it's more meaningful than that. 391 00:14:45,714 --> 00:14:46,674 My man! 392 00:14:46,757 --> 00:14:48,008 Yes. Thank you, sir. 393 00:14:49,969 --> 00:14:53,555 I... am... finally complete! 394 00:14:56,475 --> 00:14:59,061 My — my — my — my man! 395 00:15:02,064 --> 00:15:03,482 Aah! 396 00:15:03,565 --> 00:15:04,817 What the hell? 397 00:15:08,195 --> 00:15:09,321 No. 398 00:15:09,405 --> 00:15:10,322 - Jerry? - Dad! 399 00:15:10,406 --> 00:15:11,865 What are you doing here? 400 00:15:11,949 --> 00:15:13,033 W-why are you dressed like a waiter? 401 00:15:13,117 --> 00:15:14,243 Screw it. We don't have time. 402 00:15:14,326 --> 00:15:15,119 Come on. 403 00:15:15,202 --> 00:15:16,620 No! 404 00:15:25,170 --> 00:15:26,088 Ohhhhh! 405 00:15:28,257 --> 00:15:29,425 Aah! 406 00:15:48,986 --> 00:15:51,363 Yes! Yes! Yes! 407 00:15:59,496 --> 00:16:00,456 Oof! 408 00:16:01,707 --> 00:16:03,125 Man up, Jerry! 409 00:16:03,208 --> 00:16:04,585 I may need you to work the lasers. 410 00:16:17,264 --> 00:16:19,099 Oh, man! They're hot on our tail, Rick! 411 00:16:19,183 --> 00:16:21,143 I guess they really do have concentrated dark matter. 412 00:16:21,226 --> 00:16:22,728 Well, you know how to make it, too, right, Rick? 413 00:16:22,811 --> 00:16:23,812 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 414 00:16:23,896 --> 00:16:25,189 Uh, check the engine room. 415 00:16:25,272 --> 00:16:27,941 We just need Cesium, Plutonic Quarks, and bottled water. 416 00:16:30,444 --> 00:16:31,445 It's all here, Rick! 417 00:16:31,528 --> 00:16:32,529 Wow, Morty. Lucky break. 418 00:16:32,613 --> 00:16:33,781 Grab that bucket. 419 00:16:33,864 --> 00:16:37,034 Okay, two parts Plutonic Quarks, one part Cesium. 420 00:16:37,117 --> 00:16:38,243 Okay. Uh-huh. 421 00:16:40,579 --> 00:16:41,747 All right. 422 00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:43,332 Now empty the water bottle into the bucket and pour 423 00:16:43,415 --> 00:16:46,418 it all into the fuel tank so we can get the hell out of here! 424 00:16:46,502 --> 00:16:47,544 What are you doing, Morty? 425 00:16:47,628 --> 00:16:48,629 There's no time! 426 00:16:55,260 --> 00:16:56,929 Oh, no. 427 00:16:57,012 --> 00:16:58,138 What the — 428 00:16:58,222 --> 00:16:59,223 No! 429 00:17:04,478 --> 00:17:06,605 Oh, my God, Rick. 430 00:17:06,688 --> 00:17:08,357 How dumb are you? 431 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,109 You're inside a simulation... 432 00:17:10,192 --> 00:17:12,194 of a simulation... 433 00:17:12,277 --> 00:17:14,988 inside another giant simulation! 434 00:17:16,448 --> 00:17:19,201 W-We never had the recipe for concentrated dark matter. 435 00:17:19,284 --> 00:17:20,869 But we do now! 436 00:17:20,953 --> 00:17:22,579 We do now, suck a! 437 00:17:22,663 --> 00:17:24,790 You simulated my grandson's genitalia? 438 00:17:24,873 --> 00:17:27,292 Y-Y-You bunch of diabolical sons of bitches! 439 00:17:27,376 --> 00:17:29,670 Kevin fought real hard to supervise that project. 440 00:17:29,753 --> 00:17:31,755 You said you weren't gonna tell anyone! 441 00:17:31,839 --> 00:17:33,632 I'm never gonna live this down, am I? 442 00:17:33,715 --> 00:17:35,008 All right. Okay. All right, great. Wonderful. 443 00:17:35,092 --> 00:17:36,552 You win. Can we go home now? 444 00:17:36,635 --> 00:17:38,262 I don't know. Can you? 445 00:17:38,345 --> 00:17:39,221 Ha! Nice. 446 00:17:39,304 --> 00:17:40,889 Okay, okay. 447 00:17:40,973 --> 00:17:42,933 Show this gullible turd to his shuttle. 448 00:17:43,016 --> 00:17:44,309 I'm done with him. 449 00:17:44,393 --> 00:17:45,310 Oh, wait. Let me get a picture. 450 00:17:46,311 --> 00:17:47,813 Aww. Look at his face. 451 00:17:47,896 --> 00:17:50,023 He's trying to figure out if he's in a simulation still. 452 00:17:50,107 --> 00:17:51,066 Are you, Rick? 453 00:17:51,150 --> 00:17:52,484 Are you? 454 00:17:53,694 --> 00:17:54,903 You're not. 455 00:17:54,987 --> 00:17:56,947 Or are you? 456 00:17:58,949 --> 00:18:01,869 Oh, a-and, by the way, I don't have discolored butt hole flaps. 457 00:18:01,952 --> 00:18:03,287 That was part of the simulation. 458 00:18:03,370 --> 00:18:04,455 Oh. 459 00:18:04,538 --> 00:18:05,998 Uh, sir, should I cancel that appointment, then? 460 00:18:06,081 --> 00:18:07,541 Yeah! Of course you should! 461 00:18:08,834 --> 00:18:09,877 No, keep it. 462 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,211 Move it up, actuality, if you can. 463 00:18:16,049 --> 00:18:17,342 Hey, Jerry, don't worry about it. 464 00:18:17,426 --> 00:18:19,136 So what if the most meaningful day of your life was a 465 00:18:19,219 --> 00:18:21,680 simulation operating at minimum capacity? 466 00:18:21,763 --> 00:18:23,140 You know what, Rick? 467 00:18:23,223 --> 00:18:25,434 Those guys took you for a ride, too. 468 00:18:25,517 --> 00:18:27,561 You should try having a tittle respect for the dummies of the Universe, 469 00:18:27,644 --> 00:18:29,438 now that you're one of us. 470 00:18:29,521 --> 00:18:30,939 Maybe you're right, Jerry. 471 00:18:31,023 --> 00:18:32,733 Maybe you're right. 472 00:18:34,193 --> 00:18:36,445 All right, everybody. 473 00:18:36,528 --> 00:18:39,990 Two parts Plutonic Quarks... 474 00:18:40,073 --> 00:18:42,284 One part Cesium... 475 00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:45,829 A-and listen, I'm sorry for yelling earlier. 476 00:18:45,913 --> 00:18:48,290 I-I couldn't ask for a better staff. 477 00:18:48,373 --> 00:18:51,710 I love you guys, and I love all your families. 478 00:18:51,793 --> 00:18:54,922 And the final ingredient... 479 00:18:57,382 --> 00:18:58,467 Whoa! 480 00:18:58,550 --> 00:19:00,552 What the hell? W-what happened back there? 481 00:19:00,636 --> 00:19:03,180 Why don't you ask the smartest people in the Universe, Jerry? 482 00:19:03,263 --> 00:19:05,057 - Oh, yeah. - you can't. 483 00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:06,475 They blew up. 484 00:19:46,848 --> 00:19:47,975 So... 485 00:19:48,058 --> 00:19:49,560 what do you think? 486 00:19:50,561 --> 00:19:51,353 You're fired. 487 00:19:51,436 --> 00:19:52,563 Wha— 488 00:19:52,646 --> 00:19:55,649 But t-this idea was tested in a state-of-the-art simulation. 489 00:19:55,732 --> 00:19:57,359 Well, then, it was a terrible simulation. 490 00:19:57,442 --> 00:19:58,944 Get out. 491 00:20:02,322 --> 00:20:05,742 Man, how does a guy like that go home and have sex with his wife? 492 00:20:06,618 --> 00:20:07,452 Hey, Morty. 493 00:20:07,536 --> 00:20:08,370 What? 494 00:20:08,453 --> 00:20:09,413 Hey, little buddy. 495 00:20:09,496 --> 00:20:11,290 H-h-how you doing in here right now? 496 00:20:11,373 --> 00:20:13,250 Aw, geez, Rick. What are you doing, man? 497 00:20:13,333 --> 00:20:14,710 Y-y-you're a good kid, Morty. 498 00:20:14,793 --> 00:20:16,795 Y-you're a real I-Little c-character, Morty. 499 00:20:16,878 --> 00:20:18,130 Oh, boy. 500 00:20:18,213 --> 00:20:20,757 You know, I had a really rocky road today, M-Morty. 501 00:20:20,841 --> 00:20:22,884 You're my little friend, aren't you? 502 00:20:24,177 --> 00:20:26,305 We had some good times together, huh, M-Morty? 503 00:20:26,388 --> 00:20:28,432 We — you're a real true hero out in the field. 504 00:20:28,515 --> 00:20:31,643 You're a Ii— you're a real trooper, huh, M-M-Morty? 505 00:20:31,727 --> 00:20:32,811 Have you been drinking, Rick? 506 00:20:32,894 --> 00:20:34,146 I really appreciate you, Morty. 507 00:20:34,229 --> 00:20:35,564 O-okay, cool. 508 00:20:35,647 --> 00:20:37,316 A-all right, Rick — you tittle son of a bitch! 509 00:20:37,399 --> 00:20:39,234 Y-y — are you a simulation? 510 00:20:39,318 --> 00:20:40,611 Huh? Are you a simulation? 511 00:20:40,694 --> 00:20:42,154 No! No! No! 512 00:20:42,237 --> 00:20:43,405 You little son of a bitch! 513 00:20:44,531 --> 00:20:46,116 I-I-I'm sorry, Morty. 514 00:20:46,199 --> 00:20:47,409 Y-you're a good — you're a good kid, Morty. 515 00:20:47,492 --> 00:20:48,577 Geez! 516 00:20:48,660 --> 00:20:49,745 Y-you're a good — you're a good kid. 517 00:20:49,828 --> 00:20:50,912 Oh, my god! 518 00:20:52,039 --> 00:20:54,583 W-W-What the hell? 519 00:20:54,666 --> 00:20:55,667 What a life. 520 00:20:57,461 --> 00:20:58,837 Did you get any of that? 521 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:00,756 It's a good-a show!