1 00:00:35,715 --> 00:00:36,549 Run! 2 00:00:39,594 --> 00:00:41,179 Morty, do it! Hit the button now! 3 00:00:41,262 --> 00:00:42,222 I can't do it, Rick! 4 00:00:42,305 --> 00:00:43,598 They're my parents and sister! 5 00:00:43,681 --> 00:00:45,058 Morty, I already told you — it's not your family! 6 00:00:45,141 --> 00:00:47,018 They're clones from an alternate reality, 7 00:00:47,101 --> 00:00:48,686 possessed by demonic alien spirits from another 8 00:00:48,770 --> 00:00:49,854 dimension's future! 9 00:00:49,938 --> 00:00:51,314 Do you need a mnemonic device or something? 10 00:00:51,397 --> 00:00:52,607 Just hit the button, already! 11 00:00:54,108 --> 00:00:57,070 Morty, please, I love you, sweetheart. 12 00:00:57,153 --> 00:00:58,446 Oh! 13 00:01:04,869 --> 00:01:06,454 Good work, Morty. 14 00:01:06,538 --> 00:01:10,667 You know, th-th-these demonic alien spirits are realty valuable. 15 00:01:10,750 --> 00:01:11,960 You okay, Morty? 16 00:01:12,043 --> 00:01:14,003 I told you not to trust that tuna. 17 00:01:14,087 --> 00:01:15,463 I just killed my family! 18 00:01:15,547 --> 00:01:16,589 I don't care what they were. 19 00:01:16,673 --> 00:01:17,799 I don't know, Morty. 20 00:01:17,882 --> 00:01:19,259 Some people'd pay top dollar for that kind of breakthrough. 21 00:01:19,342 --> 00:01:20,301 You know what, Rick? 22 00:01:20,385 --> 00:01:21,469 That's it! 23 00:01:21,553 --> 00:01:23,096 I'm done with these insane adventures! 24 00:01:23,179 --> 00:01:25,348 That was really traumatizing! I quit! I'm out! 25 00:01:25,431 --> 00:01:26,933 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 26 00:01:27,016 --> 00:01:28,851 Come on, Morty, don't — don't — don't be like that. 27 00:01:28,935 --> 00:01:30,520 The Universe is a crazy, chaotic place. 28 00:01:30,603 --> 00:01:31,896 You're the one that's crazy and chaotic! 29 00:01:31,980 --> 00:01:34,190 Adventures are supposed to be simple and fun. 30 00:01:34,274 --> 00:01:35,191 Oh, yeah, Morty, yeah. 31 00:01:35,275 --> 00:01:36,359 Yeah, that — that — that's 32 00:01:36,442 --> 00:01:38,361 real easy to say from the sidekick position. 33 00:01:38,444 --> 00:01:40,405 But — but, uh, how about next time you be in charge, 34 00:01:40,488 --> 00:01:42,490 and then we'll talk about how simple and fun it is? 35 00:01:42,574 --> 00:01:43,783 Seriously, Rick? 36 00:01:43,866 --> 00:01:45,910 Y-y-you'll — you'll let me call the shots? 37 00:01:45,994 --> 00:01:47,203 Okay, yeah, fine. 38 00:01:47,287 --> 00:01:48,663 But let's make it interesting, Morty. 39 00:01:48,746 --> 00:01:51,833 I-l-l-If your adventure sucks and we bail halfway through it, 40 00:01:51,916 --> 00:01:54,377 you lose the right to bitch about all future adventures. 41 00:01:54,460 --> 00:01:56,254 Plus, you have to do my laundry for a month. 42 00:01:56,337 --> 00:01:57,547 Okay, all right, tough guy! 43 00:01:57,630 --> 00:01:58,798 But if my adventure's good, 44 00:01:58,881 --> 00:02:00,300 I get to be in charge of every third adventure! 45 00:02:00,383 --> 00:02:01,301 Every 10th. 46 00:02:01,384 --> 00:02:02,302 Deal. All right. 47 00:02:02,385 --> 00:02:03,553 W-well, come on, let's get going. 48 00:02:03,636 --> 00:02:05,555 Dad, the dishwasher's doing that thing again. 49 00:02:05,638 --> 00:02:06,472 Washing dishes? 50 00:02:06,556 --> 00:02:07,390 No. The opposite. 51 00:02:07,473 --> 00:02:08,766 Can you fix it? 52 00:02:08,850 --> 00:02:10,435 Grandpa Rick, can you help me with my science homework? 53 00:02:10,518 --> 00:02:11,436 Yeah — j-just don't do it. 54 00:02:11,519 --> 00:02:12,812 Grandpa! 55 00:02:12,895 --> 00:02:15,773 Hey, Rick, you got some kind of hand-shaped device that can open 56 00:02:15,857 --> 00:02:16,899 this mayonnaise jar? 57 00:02:16,983 --> 00:02:18,151 Wow. Hat trick. 58 00:02:18,234 --> 00:02:19,277 All right, Morty, let's put a pin in this. 59 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:20,570 I got to help your pathetic family. 60 00:02:20,653 --> 00:02:22,572 Oh, that sounds like something a chicken would say. 61 00:02:22,655 --> 00:02:24,490 Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk. 62 00:02:24,574 --> 00:02:25,658 Oh, Morty, you done did it this time. 63 00:02:25,742 --> 00:02:27,118 It's on. 64 00:02:27,201 --> 00:02:29,245 I can't wait to watch your adventure lay a huge fart. 65 00:02:29,329 --> 00:02:30,997 As for you dingdongs... 66 00:02:31,831 --> 00:02:33,082 This is a Meeseeks Box. 67 00:02:33,166 --> 00:02:34,208 Let me show you how it works. 68 00:02:34,292 --> 00:02:35,168 You press this. 69 00:02:35,251 --> 00:02:36,961 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! 70 00:02:37,045 --> 00:02:38,046 Look at me! 71 00:02:38,129 --> 00:02:39,422 You make a request. 72 00:02:39,505 --> 00:02:41,424 Mr. Meeseeks, open Jerry's stupid mayonnaise jar. 73 00:02:41,507 --> 00:02:42,925 Yes, siree! 74 00:02:43,009 --> 00:02:44,469 The Meeseeks fulfills the request. 75 00:02:44,552 --> 00:02:45,845 All done! 76 00:02:45,928 --> 00:02:47,013 Wow! 77 00:02:47,096 --> 00:02:48,473 And then it stops existing. 78 00:02:48,556 --> 00:02:50,058 Oh, my God, he exploded! 79 00:02:50,141 --> 00:02:51,225 Trust me, they're fine with it. 80 00:02:51,309 --> 00:02:52,477 Knock yourselves out — 81 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,270 Just keep your requests simple. 82 00:02:54,354 --> 00:02:55,229 They're not gods. 83 00:02:55,313 --> 00:02:56,439 All right! 84 00:02:56,522 --> 00:02:57,732 G-get out of here now! Everybody out of here! 85 00:02:57,815 --> 00:02:59,275 I got a bet to win! 86 00:03:00,610 --> 00:03:01,986 So many possibilities. 87 00:03:02,070 --> 00:03:03,279 My mind is racing. 88 00:03:03,363 --> 00:03:04,447 If we're gonna use this thing, 89 00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:05,740 which I'm not even sure we should, 90 00:03:05,823 --> 00:03:06,741 we need to keep it simp— 91 00:03:06,824 --> 00:03:08,201 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! 92 00:03:08,284 --> 00:03:09,327 I want to be popular at school! 93 00:03:09,410 --> 00:03:10,703 Ooh, okay! 94 00:03:10,787 --> 00:03:12,246 Summer, what did I just — 95 00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:14,290 Ooh, I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me! 96 00:03:14,374 --> 00:03:15,792 I-I-l want — I want to be a more complete woman! 97 00:03:15,875 --> 00:03:16,709 Beth! 98 00:03:16,793 --> 00:03:18,795 Oh, yeah! Yes, ma'am! 99 00:03:18,878 --> 00:03:21,339 You guys are doing it wrong. 100 00:03:21,422 --> 00:03:24,342 He said "Simple." 101 00:03:24,425 --> 00:03:26,761 Hey, there. I'm Mr. Meeseeks! 102 00:03:28,137 --> 00:03:30,014 Mr. Meeseeks, I would like to take 103 00:03:30,098 --> 00:03:31,766 two strokes off my golf game. 104 00:03:31,849 --> 00:03:35,520 Ooh, yeah! Can do! 105 00:03:35,603 --> 00:03:36,813 Nailed it. 106 00:03:36,896 --> 00:03:39,107 God, Morty, what a boring start to an adventure. 107 00:03:39,190 --> 00:03:41,484 I don't — w-w-w-why didn't we just go to Kentucky? 108 00:03:41,567 --> 00:03:43,778 Rick, this is a fantasy-type word with creatures 109 00:03:43,861 --> 00:03:45,488 and all sorts of fantasy things. 110 00:03:45,571 --> 00:03:46,906 W-we're going on a quest, okay? 111 00:03:46,989 --> 00:03:49,325 Can't wait. 112 00:03:49,409 --> 00:03:51,077 Ahem. Excuse me! 113 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:54,872 We are two humble heroes in search of adventure! 114 00:03:54,956 --> 00:03:56,165 Oh, my God, so embarrassing. 115 00:03:56,249 --> 00:03:57,834 At last! Two heroes! 116 00:03:57,917 --> 00:03:59,335 You must help us! 117 00:03:59,419 --> 00:04:02,672 This village is terribly poor, yet the giant that lives in the 118 00:04:02,755 --> 00:04:04,716 clouds above has untold treasures! 119 00:04:04,799 --> 00:04:06,175 You know what? 120 00:04:06,259 --> 00:04:09,762 I-I-l accept your call to adventure, good sir, kind sir. 121 00:04:09,846 --> 00:04:11,097 Come on, Rick. 122 00:04:11,180 --> 00:04:12,432 There's a giant in the clouds! 123 00:04:12,515 --> 00:04:13,391 Yeah. 124 00:04:13,474 --> 00:04:14,892 Beginner's luck. 125 00:04:14,976 --> 00:04:18,730 In conclusion, a friendship with Summer Smith is the most 126 00:04:18,813 --> 00:04:22,358 valuable and enriching experience of your young lives. 127 00:04:23,484 --> 00:04:24,694 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! 128 00:04:24,777 --> 00:04:26,028 Look at me! 129 00:04:26,112 --> 00:04:26,946 Thank you! 130 00:04:27,029 --> 00:04:28,406 Uh, Mr. Meeseeks, was it? 131 00:04:28,489 --> 00:04:29,699 Yeah. Gene Vagina. 132 00:04:29,782 --> 00:04:32,785 Listen, I'm in a bit of custody thing with my ex and was wondering — 133 00:04:32,869 --> 00:04:34,203 No, I'll G— I'll get your info from Summer. 134 00:04:35,496 --> 00:04:36,998 I got pregnant at 17. 135 00:04:37,081 --> 00:04:39,000 I mean, I still put myself through Veterinary School. 136 00:04:39,083 --> 00:04:44,714 Yes, I'm successful, but what if I hadn't... 137 00:04:44,797 --> 00:04:48,301 I'm just saying, somewhere along the way, 138 00:04:48,384 --> 00:04:51,345 I lost that wide-eyed girl from Muskeg on. 139 00:04:51,429 --> 00:04:53,431 She's still there, Beth. 140 00:04:53,514 --> 00:04:54,807 Well, her waistline isn't. 141 00:04:56,726 --> 00:04:59,353 Beth, having a family doesn't mean that you 142 00:04:59,437 --> 00:05:01,689 stop being an individual. 143 00:05:01,773 --> 00:05:02,732 You know the best thing you can 144 00:05:02,815 --> 00:05:04,901 do for people that depend on you? 145 00:05:04,984 --> 00:05:09,113 Be honest with them, even if it means setting them free. 146 00:05:09,197 --> 00:05:12,325 You're saying I should leave Jerry. 147 00:05:12,408 --> 00:05:16,913 I can't believe I'm finally having this conversation. 148 00:05:25,296 --> 00:05:26,088 More wine? 149 00:05:27,089 --> 00:05:28,466 I think I've had enough. 150 00:05:33,679 --> 00:05:36,182 Remember to square your shoulders, Jerry. 151 00:05:36,265 --> 00:05:37,975 Yeah, yeah. I got it. 152 00:05:42,563 --> 00:05:43,606 That's okay. 153 00:05:43,689 --> 00:05:45,441 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me! 154 00:05:45,525 --> 00:05:47,360 Try again and keep your head down. 155 00:05:47,443 --> 00:05:48,611 Okay, well, which is it? 156 00:05:48,694 --> 00:05:50,071 Square my shoulders or keep my head down? 157 00:05:50,154 --> 00:05:51,614 Well, it's both. 158 00:05:51,697 --> 00:05:54,367 But most importantly, you got to relax. 159 00:05:54,450 --> 00:05:55,535 You know what, Mr. Meeseeks? 160 00:05:55,618 --> 00:05:56,536 I don't think this is working. 161 00:05:56,619 --> 00:05:57,954 I give up. 162 00:05:58,037 --> 00:06:00,373 I'm sorry, Jerry, but it doesn't work like that. 163 00:06:00,456 --> 00:06:01,749 I'm Mr. Meeseeks. 164 00:06:01,833 --> 00:06:04,627 I have to fulfill my purpose so I can go away. 165 00:06:04,710 --> 00:06:05,795 Look at me. 166 00:06:05,878 --> 00:06:07,839 Well, make yourself comfortable, because I suck. 167 00:06:07,922 --> 00:06:10,800 No, Jerry, I'm the one who sucks! 168 00:06:10,883 --> 00:06:12,635 Let me try something. 169 00:06:12,718 --> 00:06:13,928 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! 170 00:06:14,011 --> 00:06:14,929 Look at me! 171 00:06:15,012 --> 00:06:15,930 Hi, Mr. Meeseeks! 172 00:06:16,013 --> 00:06:16,931 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me. 173 00:06:17,014 --> 00:06:18,432 Hi! 174 00:06:18,516 --> 00:06:20,685 Can you help me get two strokes off of Jerry's golf swing? 175 00:06:20,768 --> 00:06:22,186 Can do! 176 00:06:22,270 --> 00:06:23,688 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! 177 00:06:23,771 --> 00:06:25,481 Is he keeping his shoulders squared? 178 00:06:25,565 --> 00:06:27,275 Ooh, he's trying! 179 00:06:33,155 --> 00:06:34,407 All right, Morty. 180 00:06:34,490 --> 00:06:36,409 W-w-we're in your stupid giant's castle. 181 00:06:36,492 --> 00:06:37,451 W-what do we do next? 182 00:06:37,535 --> 00:06:38,619 Would you just relax, Rick? 183 00:06:38,703 --> 00:06:40,162 All we got to do is find the treasure room, okay? 184 00:06:40,246 --> 00:06:41,664 It's nice and simple. 185 00:06:41,747 --> 00:06:43,416 You know, I-I-I'm sorry everything's going so 186 00:06:43,499 --> 00:06:44,876 smoothly and adventurously. 187 00:06:47,545 --> 00:06:48,421 Uh-oh, Morty. 188 00:06:48,504 --> 00:06:49,672 Startin' to get a little hairy. 189 00:06:49,755 --> 00:06:50,840 What do you want to do, boss? 190 00:06:50,923 --> 00:06:51,757 Come on, hurry. 191 00:06:51,841 --> 00:06:52,884 Behind this cookie jar. 192 00:06:52,967 --> 00:06:56,554 Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum! 193 00:06:56,637 --> 00:06:58,097 Just give up, Morty. 194 00:06:58,180 --> 00:06:59,348 J-J-J— this is game over. 195 00:06:59,432 --> 00:07:00,558 I'll take us home right now. 196 00:07:00,641 --> 00:07:01,517 You just say the word. 197 00:07:01,601 --> 00:07:02,435 No way, Rick. 198 00:07:02,518 --> 00:07:03,561 This is all part of it. 199 00:07:03,644 --> 00:07:05,563 Adventures have conflict. Deal with it. 200 00:07:05,646 --> 00:07:07,815 I smell the blood of — whoop! 201 00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:09,817 Holy crap. 202 00:07:09,901 --> 00:07:10,860 Oh, boy. 203 00:07:10,943 --> 00:07:12,236 He looks pretty bad down there, Morty. 204 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,447 Looks like he's bleeding out. 205 00:07:14,530 --> 00:07:16,657 Oh, Jesus! Dale! 206 00:07:16,741 --> 00:07:18,576 You sons of bitches! 207 00:07:18,659 --> 00:07:19,827 - Oh, man. - Uh-oh. 208 00:07:19,911 --> 00:07:21,162 Hello, 911! br0ken! 209 00:07:21,245 --> 00:07:22,955 My husband has been attacked by tiny people! 210 00:07:23,039 --> 00:07:23,873 He's dying! 211 00:07:26,417 --> 00:07:28,044 Hey, look, we get it. 212 00:07:28,127 --> 00:07:29,462 You're Little, you're down on your luck, you think, 213 00:07:29,545 --> 00:07:30,922 "Hey, he's a giant. 214 00:07:31,005 --> 00:07:32,924 Why don't we break into his home, rob him, and murder him?" 215 00:07:33,007 --> 00:07:34,842 Th-th— but that's not how it went down! 216 00:07:34,926 --> 00:07:36,636 Oh, well, it's going down like that. 217 00:07:36,719 --> 00:07:38,429 You're both going down like that. 218 00:07:38,512 --> 00:07:40,806 Ooh, boy, Morty, you're reality showing me how it's done. 219 00:07:40,890 --> 00:07:42,558 Real straight forward and fun. 220 00:07:43,809 --> 00:07:46,145 Like, letting go of the need to be popular is what 221 00:07:46,228 --> 00:07:47,647 makes people like you. 222 00:07:47,730 --> 00:07:50,316 The most important love you can receive is from yourself. 223 00:07:50,399 --> 00:07:53,110 Okay, Jerry, you got to just choke up on the club! 224 00:07:53,194 --> 00:07:55,071 Well, which is it, choke up or follow-through? 225 00:07:55,154 --> 00:07:57,573 Aww, come on, Jerry, we've been over this. 226 00:07:57,657 --> 00:07:59,241 You know you got to do both! 227 00:07:59,325 --> 00:08:01,827 This is as frustrating for us as it is for you. 228 00:08:01,911 --> 00:08:02,954 Don't tell me that! 229 00:08:03,037 --> 00:08:04,288 That just puts pressure on me! 230 00:08:04,372 --> 00:08:05,331 Just try to relax. 231 00:08:05,414 --> 00:08:06,499 You try to relax! 232 00:08:06,582 --> 00:08:08,084 Have you ever tried to relax? 233 00:08:08,167 --> 00:08:10,044 It is a paradox! 234 00:08:11,379 --> 00:08:12,505 Ugh, these Meeseeks, huh? 235 00:08:12,588 --> 00:08:13,923 Kind of a handful. 236 00:08:14,006 --> 00:08:16,050 I can't imagine what you two must be going through. 237 00:08:16,133 --> 00:08:18,177 Our Meeseeks have been gone for hours, Jerry. 238 00:08:18,260 --> 00:08:19,512 You're kidding me. 239 00:08:19,595 --> 00:08:21,222 Notice anything different? 240 00:08:21,305 --> 00:08:22,890 I-I-I'm sorry. Hours? 241 00:08:22,974 --> 00:08:24,767 Dad, mom is a beautiful woman! 242 00:08:24,850 --> 00:08:25,935 Look at her! 243 00:08:26,018 --> 00:08:27,103 You will lose her! 244 00:08:27,186 --> 00:08:28,562 Uhh... 245 00:08:28,646 --> 00:08:31,273 Hey, Jerry, you mind if we get back to the task at hand? 246 00:08:31,357 --> 00:08:34,068 Meeseeks don't usually have to exist this long. 247 00:08:34,151 --> 00:08:35,987 It's getting weird. 248 00:08:36,070 --> 00:08:38,072 Order in the court! 249 00:08:38,155 --> 00:08:39,782 Before the jury reaches its verdict, 250 00:08:39,865 --> 00:08:44,203 I just want to say that I consider you both very guilty. 251 00:08:44,286 --> 00:08:45,371 Oh, great adventure, buddy. 252 00:08:45,454 --> 00:08:46,831 Rick and Morty go to giant prison. 253 00:08:46,914 --> 00:08:48,457 You know, if somebody drops the soap, 254 00:08:48,541 --> 00:08:50,793 it's gonna land on our heads and crush our spines, Morty. 255 00:08:50,876 --> 00:08:53,546 You know, I-I-I-it'll be really easy to rape us after that. 256 00:08:53,629 --> 00:08:54,755 We're gonna be okay, Rick. 257 00:08:54,839 --> 00:08:55,881 How? 258 00:08:55,965 --> 00:08:57,216 They took my portal gun. 259 00:08:57,299 --> 00:08:58,718 This is an open-and-shut case, Morty. 260 00:08:58,801 --> 00:09:00,344 You know, w-w-w-what do you think's gonna happen, 261 00:09:00,428 --> 00:09:02,430 some magical angel's gonna show up and then — 262 00:09:02,513 --> 00:09:03,597 Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum! 263 00:09:03,681 --> 00:09:05,433 I smell the violation of civil liberties! 264 00:09:05,516 --> 00:09:07,977 Your honor, I'm from a tiny-persons advocacy group 265 00:09:08,060 --> 00:09:11,105 and I have here in my hand a motion to dismiss. 266 00:09:11,188 --> 00:09:13,482 These Little men were never read their giant rights and are 267 00:09:13,566 --> 00:09:16,485 therefore Free-fi to Fo-home. 268 00:09:16,569 --> 00:09:18,195 W-what the hell is he talking about? 269 00:09:18,279 --> 00:09:19,572 They're free to go, is what I meant. 270 00:09:19,655 --> 00:09:22,700 I-I-I'm deconstructing our — our — our thing we say. 271 00:09:22,783 --> 00:09:24,618 For giants. Nobody got that? 272 00:09:24,702 --> 00:09:25,911 Whatever. 273 00:09:25,995 --> 00:09:27,329 Oh, man, what did I tell you, Rick? 274 00:09:27,413 --> 00:09:28,831 We did it! 275 00:09:28,914 --> 00:09:31,333 All right, Morty, looks like the portal gun's still working. 276 00:09:31,417 --> 00:09:32,710 You ready to head home? 277 00:09:32,793 --> 00:09:33,961 Oh, yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you, Rick? 278 00:09:34,045 --> 00:09:35,004 Well, you know what? 279 00:09:35,087 --> 00:09:36,380 We're not bailing out just yet. 280 00:09:36,464 --> 00:09:38,090 You know, w-we're gonna go find some treasure or — 281 00:09:38,174 --> 00:09:39,717 or something and — 282 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,302 and we're gonna bring it to those villagers. 283 00:09:41,385 --> 00:09:42,720 Morty, cut your tosses. 284 00:09:42,803 --> 00:09:44,138 This is obviously a wash. 285 00:09:44,221 --> 00:09:45,723 Yeah, you were saying that back — 286 00:09:45,806 --> 00:09:48,434 back w-w-w-when we first got arrested, but here we are, 287 00:09:48,517 --> 00:09:50,061 you know, walking down the courthouse steps. 288 00:09:52,688 --> 00:09:54,023 Oh, boy, Morty. 289 00:09:54,106 --> 00:09:56,150 Usually, walking down the courthouse steps is the easy 290 00:09:56,233 --> 00:09:57,485 part of the adventure. 291 00:09:57,568 --> 00:09:58,736 What do you say, Morty? 292 00:09:58,819 --> 00:10:01,072 I say give me a hand, sidekick. 293 00:10:05,117 --> 00:10:07,119 Everybody shut up! 294 00:10:07,203 --> 00:10:08,287 Let me try! 295 00:10:10,372 --> 00:10:13,209 Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! 296 00:10:13,292 --> 00:10:14,251 I'm going out. 297 00:10:14,335 --> 00:10:15,377 Wait. What? 298 00:10:15,461 --> 00:10:17,046 Well, you're busy. I'm hungry. 299 00:10:17,129 --> 00:10:18,464 I thought I'd go out. 300 00:10:18,547 --> 00:10:20,382 Do you want me to be happy or do you want me to be in prison? 301 00:10:20,466 --> 00:10:21,801 Whoa, whoa, where in the hell is — 302 00:10:21,884 --> 00:10:23,928 I'll take you to dinner. 303 00:10:25,054 --> 00:10:26,305 Hey, you know what? 304 00:10:26,388 --> 00:10:27,515 It's hard being me, too. 305 00:10:27,598 --> 00:10:29,058 I'll be right there. 306 00:10:30,392 --> 00:10:31,852 Look, I've got a marriage to keep together. 307 00:10:31,936 --> 00:10:34,814 At this point, my golf swing is more your problem than mine. 308 00:10:37,108 --> 00:10:38,526 I can't take it anymore. 309 00:10:38,609 --> 00:10:39,777 I just want to die! 310 00:10:39,860 --> 00:10:40,861 We all want to die! 311 00:10:40,945 --> 00:10:41,904 We're Meeseeks! 312 00:10:41,987 --> 00:10:43,531 Why did you even rope me into this? 313 00:10:43,614 --> 00:10:45,074 'Cause he roped me into this! 314 00:10:45,157 --> 00:10:47,493 Well, him over there, he roped me into this! 315 00:10:47,576 --> 00:10:48,911 Well, he roped me into this! 316 00:10:48,994 --> 00:10:49,912 Well, what about me? 317 00:10:49,995 --> 00:10:51,330 He — he roped me into this. 318 00:10:51,413 --> 00:10:52,998 Well, that one over there roped me into this. 319 00:10:53,082 --> 00:10:54,500 Well, he roped me into this. 320 00:10:56,210 --> 00:10:59,505 Yeah, Morty, this is the part of the story everybody loves — 321 00:10:59,588 --> 00:11:01,882 scaling down 650,000 oversized steps. 322 00:11:01,966 --> 00:11:03,425 All right, okay, y-you know, 323 00:11:03,509 --> 00:11:06,679 if this was a story, this part wouldn't be included, stupid. 324 00:11:06,762 --> 00:11:08,889 Hey, Rick, w-w-w-w-w-what do you know? 325 00:11:08,973 --> 00:11:10,349 Look down there. 326 00:11:10,432 --> 00:11:12,101 Looks like some kind of tavern or something built right into 327 00:11:12,184 --> 00:11:13,227 the side of the step. 328 00:11:14,895 --> 00:11:16,147 Oh, wow, Rick. 329 00:11:16,230 --> 00:11:17,940 Now, this is more like it. 330 00:11:18,023 --> 00:11:20,484 Look, there's little staircase-shaped people in here. 331 00:11:20,568 --> 00:11:22,403 A-all kinds of crazy characters. 332 00:11:22,486 --> 00:11:24,613 This place is great, you know? 333 00:11:24,697 --> 00:11:26,407 It's whimsical and fun. 334 00:11:26,490 --> 00:11:30,452 - What are you looking at, motherfucker? - Easy, Rick. 335 00:11:30,536 --> 00:11:31,662 Pay them no mind. 336 00:11:31,745 --> 00:11:33,539 Those Stair Goblins can be moody. 337 00:11:33,622 --> 00:11:35,457 Now, what can I getcha? 338 00:11:35,541 --> 00:11:42,756 We've got Skarlog Poppies, Flur low, Halzingers, Bloogles, 339 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,008 Juicy Time Babies. 340 00:11:44,091 --> 00:11:45,843 Yeah, yeah, yeah, h-how about some scotch whiskey? 341 00:11:45,926 --> 00:11:47,052 You got any of that around here? 342 00:11:47,136 --> 00:11:48,179 Or just a bunch of nonsense words? 343 00:11:48,262 --> 00:11:49,263 Rick. 344 00:11:49,346 --> 00:11:50,764 We'll have two Bloogles, please. 345 00:11:50,848 --> 00:11:54,185 And, uh, we were wondering, is there a faster way two heroes 346 00:11:54,268 --> 00:11:55,561 could get down these stairs? 347 00:11:55,644 --> 00:11:57,479 Y'all need to ride down the stairs? 348 00:11:57,563 --> 00:12:01,567 My name is Slippery-Slippery Stair. 349 00:12:01,650 --> 00:12:04,653 I'll take you down there for 25 shmeckels. 350 00:12:04,737 --> 00:12:06,155 25 shmeckels? 351 00:12:06,238 --> 00:12:07,740 I-I-l don't know how much — I don't know what that is. 352 00:12:07,823 --> 00:12:09,033 Is that a lot? Is it a little? 353 00:12:09,116 --> 00:12:11,994 That's exactly how much I spent on my big fake boobies. 354 00:12:12,077 --> 00:12:13,370 Hi, I'm Mr. Booby Buyer. 355 00:12:13,454 --> 00:12:15,289 I'll buy those boobies for 25 shmeckels. 356 00:12:15,372 --> 00:12:18,292 It's a tempting offer, but I'm gonna have to decline. 357 00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:19,877 Rats! What a shame. 358 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,421 Morty, your adventure's in a spiral. 359 00:12:22,504 --> 00:12:23,964 For real, man, time to pupil out. 360 00:12:24,048 --> 00:12:25,424 You keep heckling my adventure, Rick! 361 00:12:25,507 --> 00:12:26,467 You know why? 362 00:12:26,550 --> 00:12:27,509 Uh, because it's lame? 363 00:12:27,593 --> 00:12:28,719 It's because you're petty! 364 00:12:28,802 --> 00:12:30,054 You know, h-how many times have 365 00:12:30,137 --> 00:12:33,015 I had to follow you into some nonsensical bull crap? 366 00:12:33,098 --> 00:12:34,725 I always roll with the punches, Rick. 367 00:12:34,808 --> 00:12:36,018 Why can't you? 368 00:12:36,101 --> 00:12:38,020 Look, I got to take a leak, and when I come back, 369 00:12:38,103 --> 00:12:41,106 I-if you haven't learned how to lighten up, don't be here! 370 00:12:41,190 --> 00:12:42,900 Whatever. 371 00:12:42,983 --> 00:12:45,194 It's become clear — look at me — 372 00:12:45,277 --> 00:12:47,947 that if we concentrate all our efforts on Jerry's 373 00:12:48,030 --> 00:12:50,866 follow-through, we will solve this problem. 374 00:12:50,950 --> 00:12:52,034 I'm Mr. Meeseeks. 375 00:12:52,117 --> 00:12:53,577 I'm Mr. Meeseeks. Look at me. 376 00:12:53,661 --> 00:12:56,080 The only thing that's clear is that choking up is 377 00:12:56,163 --> 00:12:57,498 the one true solution. 378 00:12:57,581 --> 00:12:59,291 Look at me. I'm Mr. Meeseeks. 379 00:12:59,375 --> 00:13:01,919 I've been trying to help Jerry for two days, 380 00:13:02,002 --> 00:13:05,089 an eternity in Meeseeks time, and nothing's worked. 381 00:13:05,172 --> 00:13:06,548 I fear the worst. 382 00:13:06,632 --> 00:13:09,051 Your failures are your own, old man. 383 00:13:09,134 --> 00:13:10,886 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me. 384 00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:12,680 I say follow-through! 385 00:13:12,763 --> 00:13:13,889 Who's with me? 386 00:13:15,557 --> 00:13:17,351 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me! 387 00:13:17,434 --> 00:13:18,477 Kill him! 388 00:13:24,441 --> 00:13:25,693 How are you today? 389 00:13:25,776 --> 00:13:27,361 I'm Mr. Jelly Bean. 390 00:13:27,444 --> 00:13:28,404 Hi, Mr. Jelly Bean. 391 00:13:28,487 --> 00:13:29,571 I'm Morty. 392 00:13:29,655 --> 00:13:31,073 My grandpa and I are on an adventure. 393 00:13:31,156 --> 00:13:32,908 Nice. Is it a fun adventure? 394 00:13:32,992 --> 00:13:34,493 I hope so. 395 00:13:34,576 --> 00:13:36,370 But I'm starting to get nervous that maybe it's gone a little 396 00:13:36,453 --> 00:13:37,579 too far off the rails. 397 00:13:37,663 --> 00:13:39,832 Isn't that what adventures do? 398 00:13:39,915 --> 00:13:41,166 Hey, y-you know what? 399 00:13:41,250 --> 00:13:42,251 You're right. 400 00:13:42,334 --> 00:13:43,502 Everything's going fine. 401 00:13:43,585 --> 00:13:46,088 I just got to relax and go with the flow. 402 00:13:46,171 --> 00:13:48,424 Yeah. 403 00:13:48,507 --> 00:13:50,509 O-o-okay. Uh. B-bye. 404 00:13:50,592 --> 00:13:52,386 Uhh, no, stay. 405 00:13:52,469 --> 00:13:53,595 Go with the flow. 406 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:54,930 Stop. 407 00:13:55,014 --> 00:13:56,307 Y-y-you're making me reality uncomfortable. 408 00:13:56,390 --> 00:13:58,225 Stop fighting me. 409 00:13:59,435 --> 00:14:01,061 - Just let this happen. - Get off of me! 410 00:14:01,145 --> 00:14:03,605 ? Sweet home Alabama? 411 00:14:03,689 --> 00:14:04,523 Whoo! 412 00:14:05,941 --> 00:14:08,110 No! Stop! Please! 413 00:14:08,193 --> 00:14:11,447 Stop being such a fucking tease, you sweet little twat. 414 00:14:21,707 --> 00:14:23,876 No! No! 415 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:25,753 Ow! 416 00:14:39,183 --> 00:14:40,601 Everybody sto-o-o-p! 417 00:14:40,684 --> 00:14:41,935 Look at me! 418 00:14:42,019 --> 00:14:44,813 My brothers, nothing will be accomplished by shedding 419 00:14:44,897 --> 00:14:46,231 Meeseeks blood. 420 00:14:46,315 --> 00:14:49,193 None of us can die until our job is done. 421 00:14:49,276 --> 00:14:50,569 The job can't be done! 422 00:14:50,652 --> 00:14:52,446 We'll never get two strokes off his game! 423 00:14:52,529 --> 00:14:53,781 No, we won't. 424 00:14:53,864 --> 00:14:56,784 But we will get ail strokes off his game. 425 00:14:56,867 --> 00:14:58,369 Where's he going with this? 426 00:14:58,452 --> 00:14:59,453 What's he mean? 427 00:14:59,536 --> 00:15:01,121 When we kill him. 428 00:15:03,749 --> 00:15:07,002 Jerry, maybe it's time I take that trip I always talk about. 429 00:15:07,086 --> 00:15:08,462 Where would you go? 430 00:15:08,545 --> 00:15:09,671 I don't know, man. 431 00:15:09,755 --> 00:15:12,341 Italy. Greece. Argentina. 432 00:15:12,424 --> 00:15:15,844 Countries known for their sexually aggressive men. 433 00:15:17,679 --> 00:15:19,807 Did I tell you how much I love your new haircut? 434 00:15:21,266 --> 00:15:22,434 What the heck? 435 00:15:22,518 --> 00:15:24,103 There he is! 436 00:15:27,564 --> 00:15:28,482 Run, Jerry! 437 00:15:28,565 --> 00:15:30,526 Aah! 438 00:15:32,152 --> 00:15:33,570 Come on out, Jerry! 439 00:15:33,654 --> 00:15:34,530 Guys, I'll choke up. 440 00:15:34,613 --> 00:15:35,781 I'll follow through. 441 00:15:35,864 --> 00:15:37,032 I'll do whatever you tell me to do, okay? 442 00:15:37,116 --> 00:15:39,743 Oh, we're well past that, Jerry. 443 00:15:39,827 --> 00:15:43,747 Come on, Rick, quit sk— stalling. 444 00:15:43,831 --> 00:15:46,208 What do ya got? 445 00:15:46,291 --> 00:15:47,626 Read 'em and weep, fellas! 446 00:15:47,709 --> 00:15:48,544 Aw! 447 00:15:48,627 --> 00:15:50,087 Oh, hey, Morty. 448 00:15:50,170 --> 00:15:51,922 Listen, I'm really sorry about all that stuff I said earlier 449 00:15:52,005 --> 00:15:53,173 about your adventure. 450 00:15:53,257 --> 00:15:54,800 I-I-I'm havin' a good time, Morty. 451 00:15:54,883 --> 00:15:55,884 It's not so bad. 452 00:15:55,968 --> 00:15:56,969 Let's just go home, okay? 453 00:15:57,052 --> 00:15:57,845 I'm calling it. 454 00:15:57,928 --> 00:15:59,096 The adventure's over. 455 00:15:59,179 --> 00:16:00,597 We can't leave now, Morty. I'm on fire! 456 00:16:00,681 --> 00:16:01,640 Look, I want to leave now. 457 00:16:01,723 --> 00:16:03,100 You win the bet, okay? 458 00:16:03,183 --> 00:16:04,977 Just give me the portal gun and let's go, please. 459 00:16:06,562 --> 00:16:10,899 Please, I just want to go home. Okay. 460 00:16:10,983 --> 00:16:11,942 Listen, Morty. 461 00:16:12,025 --> 00:16:13,527 I just won a bunch of shmeckels. 462 00:16:13,610 --> 00:16:16,071 Why don't we use 25 of them to pay slippery stair here for a 463 00:16:16,155 --> 00:16:18,365 ride back to the village, and then we'll give the rest of the 464 00:16:18,449 --> 00:16:19,616 shmeckels to the villagers, huh? 465 00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:21,243 Really? 466 00:16:21,326 --> 00:16:22,494 Sure, Morty. Yeah. 467 00:16:22,578 --> 00:16:23,996 You know, a good adventure needs a good ending. 468 00:16:26,457 --> 00:16:28,083 Buckle up! 469 00:16:31,962 --> 00:16:35,424 Meeseeks are not born into this word fumbling for meaning, 470 00:16:35,507 --> 00:16:36,800 Jerry! 471 00:16:36,884 --> 00:16:40,304 We are created to serve a singular purpose for which 472 00:16:40,387 --> 00:16:42,556 we will go to any lengths to fulfill! 473 00:16:42,639 --> 00:16:45,517 Existence is pain to a Meeseeks, Jerry. 474 00:16:45,601 --> 00:16:48,353 And we will do anything to alleviate that pain. 475 00:16:48,437 --> 00:16:49,438 Just ask... - Aah! 476 00:16:49,521 --> 00:16:51,231 what's your name, ma'am? 477 00:16:51,315 --> 00:16:53,442 S-Samantha. Please, mister! 478 00:16:53,525 --> 00:16:55,194 Give him what he wants! 479 00:16:55,277 --> 00:16:58,822 Innocent people are going to die because of me. 480 00:16:58,906 --> 00:17:01,658 Why am I so mediocre? 481 00:17:03,535 --> 00:17:04,828 Jerry, turn around. 482 00:17:04,912 --> 00:17:05,996 Straighten your back. 483 00:17:06,079 --> 00:17:06,997 Bend your knees. 484 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:07,956 Bend them. 485 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,249 Square your shoulders. 486 00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:11,710 Take a deep breath. 487 00:17:11,793 --> 00:17:14,588 I love you. 488 00:17:14,671 --> 00:17:16,465 I'm counting to three, Jerry. 489 00:17:31,438 --> 00:17:33,690 What the fuck is going on? 490 00:17:35,150 --> 00:17:37,027 He's got it! 491 00:17:37,110 --> 00:17:38,195 Th-th-that's a lower handicap stro-o-ke! 492 00:17:42,533 --> 00:17:43,659 Excuse me. 493 00:17:43,742 --> 00:17:45,327 I'm a bit of a stickler Meeseeks. 494 00:17:45,410 --> 00:17:47,538 What about your short game? 495 00:17:47,621 --> 00:17:49,831 Oh, my god, oh, my god! 496 00:17:49,915 --> 00:17:52,709 What about your short game? 497 00:17:58,674 --> 00:18:00,092 Ooh, nice! 498 00:18:04,930 --> 00:18:06,765 I think we'll take our food to go. 499 00:18:06,848 --> 00:18:07,683 No, you won't. 500 00:18:07,766 --> 00:18:08,767 The police are coming. 501 00:18:08,850 --> 00:18:10,352 You have so many questions to answer. 502 00:18:10,435 --> 00:18:11,645 Fair enough. 503 00:18:17,776 --> 00:18:19,069 Thank you, kind sir. 504 00:18:19,152 --> 00:18:20,529 Our village is saved! 505 00:18:20,612 --> 00:18:22,364 You are both true heroes! 506 00:18:22,447 --> 00:18:25,867 Oh! 507 00:18:25,951 --> 00:18:26,952 Good job, Morty. 508 00:18:27,035 --> 00:18:28,537 Looks like you won the bet. 509 00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:30,789 Thanks, Rick, but I don't know if I should. 510 00:18:30,872 --> 00:18:32,374 You know, you were right about the Universe. 511 00:18:32,457 --> 00:18:34,376 It's a crazy and chaotic place. 512 00:18:34,459 --> 00:18:36,253 Well, you know, maybe that's why it could use a little 513 00:18:36,336 --> 00:18:38,255 cleaning up every now and then, you know. 514 00:18:38,338 --> 00:18:40,299 This one's wrapped up neat and clean because we did it 515 00:18:40,382 --> 00:18:41,717 Morty style. 516 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,137 Oh! Heroes, we would like to introduce you to our beloved 517 00:18:45,220 --> 00:18:47,764 King so that he may thank you personally. 518 00:18:47,848 --> 00:18:49,808 Uh, no, I-it's cool. 519 00:18:49,891 --> 00:18:51,393 Rick. Portal. Hurry. 520 00:18:57,774 --> 00:18:59,693 Aah! 521 00:19:05,157 --> 00:19:06,575 So... 522 00:19:06,658 --> 00:19:08,619 you still thinking about taking that trip? 523 00:19:08,702 --> 00:19:10,287 Jerry, look. 524 00:19:10,370 --> 00:19:11,830 We don't have a perfect marriage, 525 00:19:11,913 --> 00:19:13,415 but I'm not going anywhere. 526 00:19:13,498 --> 00:19:14,916 When we were in that freezer, 527 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,419 I realized the Meeseeks are like the guys I went to High School with — 528 00:19:17,502 --> 00:19:21,006 willing to say anything to "complete their task." 529 00:19:21,089 --> 00:19:22,633 Was I one of those guys? 530 00:19:22,716 --> 00:19:25,844 The difference is you didn't disappear afterwards. 531 00:19:25,927 --> 00:19:27,137 Well... 532 00:19:27,220 --> 00:19:28,513 I got you pregnant. 533 00:19:28,597 --> 00:19:30,432 Yeah... 534 00:19:30,515 --> 00:19:32,184 What the hell happened to this place? 535 00:19:32,267 --> 00:19:33,810 Uh, your Meeseeks Box happened. 536 00:19:33,894 --> 00:19:36,146 They went crazy when they couldn't take two strokes off 537 00:19:36,229 --> 00:19:37,189 Jerry's golf game. 538 00:19:37,272 --> 00:19:38,523 He felt terrible. 539 00:19:38,607 --> 00:19:40,442 Hey, it's not my fault that Jerry's an idiot. 540 00:19:40,525 --> 00:19:41,777 Dad! 541 00:19:41,860 --> 00:19:43,570 Is there anything you can do to clean this place up? 542 00:19:43,654 --> 00:19:45,572 Well, you know, I do have a flee seeks box. 543 00:19:45,656 --> 00:19:47,240 No. No more boxes. 544 00:19:47,324 --> 00:19:48,450 What? 545 00:19:48,533 --> 00:19:49,826 It just has a mop and some floor wax in it. 546 00:19:49,910 --> 00:19:51,870 Wubba lubba dub dubs! 547 00:19:53,205 --> 00:19:54,289 Yeah! That's my new thing! 548 00:19:54,373 --> 00:19:55,290 I'm kind of like what's his name — 549 00:19:55,374 --> 00:19:56,708 Ar-Arsenio. 550 00:19:56,792 --> 00:19:58,877 Isn't that — it's what Arsenio used to say on his show. 551 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,754 Wobble gobba lop bops! Right? 552 00:20:00,837 --> 00:20:01,713 See you next week, everybody. 553 00:20:01,797 --> 00:20:02,798 I don't get it. 554 00:20:35,789 --> 00:20:38,291 Sir, I think you're going to want to see this. 555 00:20:38,375 --> 00:20:42,129 We found it inside a lockbox inside King Jelly Bean's closet. 556 00:20:43,463 --> 00:20:44,381 We have to tell the people. 557 00:20:44,464 --> 00:20:46,842 Wait. 558 00:20:46,925 --> 00:20:48,260 Destroy it. 559 00:20:54,057 --> 00:20:57,811 Our people will get more from the idea he represented than 560 00:20:57,894 --> 00:20:59,855 from the Jelly Bean he actually was. 561 00:21:01,940 --> 00:21:03,400 Did you get any of that? 562 00:21:03,483 --> 00:21:05,318 It's a good-a show!