1
00:00:06,914 --> 00:00:08,632
Yeah, Morty.

2
00:00:14,171 --> 00:00:16,344
- It's my favorite song.
- Oh, yeah.

3
00:00:16,423 --> 00:00:19,643
Oh, yeah, distress beacon!

4
00:00:19,718 --> 00:00:20,890
Yeah, baby!

5
00:00:20,969 --> 00:00:22,346
You're excited about that?

6
00:00:22,429 --> 00:00:23,851
The first rule
of space travel, kids,

7
00:00:23,931 --> 00:00:25,683
is always check out
distress beacons.

8
00:00:25,766 --> 00:00:27,768
9 out of 10 times,
it's a ship full of dead aliens

9
00:00:27,851 --> 00:00:29,603
and a bunch of free shit!

10
00:00:29,686 --> 00:00:31,780
- Whoa!
- 1 out of 10 times, it's a deadly trap,

11
00:00:31,855 --> 00:00:33,949
but I'm ready
to roll those dice.

12
00:00:41,573 --> 00:00:43,701
Seems like something
terrible happened here.

13
00:00:43,784 --> 00:00:45,036
Yep. Cha-ching.

14
00:00:45,118 --> 00:00:47,371
Oh, yeah, if you find
a room full of eggs,

15
00:00:47,454 --> 00:00:48,671
don't shy away from it.

16
00:00:48,747 --> 00:00:50,124
Give one of them a shake.

17
00:00:50,207 --> 00:00:51,925
Those facehuggers
are worth more than this ship.

18
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,092
- Uh, what's that?

19
00:00:53,168 --> 00:00:54,135
This'll make the cops
write it up

20
00:00:54,211 --> 00:00:55,508
as a looting by the Korblocks.

21
00:00:55,587 --> 00:00:56,554
That's horrible.

22
00:00:56,630 --> 00:00:58,803
I hear you, man.
Cops are racist.

23
00:00:58,882 --> 00:01:01,761
Oh, hey. You're alive.
Thank god.

24
00:01:01,843 --> 00:01:03,390
Can you help us?

25
00:01:03,470 --> 00:01:06,098
Our planet was taken over
by some kind of... entity.

26
00:01:06,181 --> 00:01:07,933
It absorbed
the minds of our people.

27
00:01:08,016 --> 00:01:09,768
We didn't notice
until it was too late.

28
00:01:09,851 --> 00:01:10,977
The people it takes over,

29
00:01:11,061 --> 00:01:12,483
they — they look
like your friends,

30
00:01:12,563 --> 00:01:13,735
your family, your leaders,

31
00:01:13,814 --> 00:01:16,693
but they're not
themselves anymore.

32
00:01:16,775 --> 00:01:19,073
They're part of... it.

33
00:01:19,152 --> 00:01:21,405
Then how do you know it didn't
get on the ship with you?

34
00:01:21,488 --> 00:01:23,707
Those two dingdongs seem pretty
calm about the whole thing.

35
00:01:25,492 --> 00:01:27,039
Hey, no!
No, wait! Stop!

36
00:01:28,870 --> 00:01:29,837
Called it.

37
00:01:32,165 --> 00:01:33,587
Hello, Rick.

38
00:01:33,667 --> 00:01:34,884
Long time no see.

39
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:35,836
Unity?

40
00:01:35,919 --> 00:01:36,920
- Rick?
- Grandpa?

41
00:01:37,004 --> 00:01:38,426
Oh, boy. Uh...

42
00:01:38,505 --> 00:01:39,848
these are my grandkids,
Summer and Morty.

43
00:01:39,923 --> 00:01:42,142
Summer, Morty,
this is, uh, Unity.

44
00:01:42,217 --> 00:01:45,266
We sort of used to,
uh... date.

45
00:01:46,990 --> 00:01:52,990
Ripped By mstoll

46
00:02:08,410 --> 00:02:10,083
Quite an operation
you got going here, Une.

47
00:02:10,162 --> 00:02:11,630
You're a whole planet now, huh?

48
00:02:11,705 --> 00:02:12,922
After we broke up,

49
00:02:12,998 --> 00:02:14,841
I spent some time
wandering through space.

50
00:02:14,916 --> 00:02:17,214
- Then I found this world...
- ... where I was better able

51
00:02:17,294 --> 00:02:19,888
to focus on my passion
for unification.

52
00:02:19,963 --> 00:02:21,465
You mean
stealing people's bodies?

53
00:02:21,548 --> 00:02:22,891
Summer, rude.

54
00:02:22,966 --> 00:02:24,968
Why don't you two kids
go run off and play with Unity

55
00:02:25,052 --> 00:02:26,804
while Unity and I
do some catching up.

56
00:02:26,887 --> 00:02:28,389
Ugh.
No, wait, Rick,

57
00:02:28,472 --> 00:02:30,725
aren't these people gonna barf
into our mouths and absorb us?

58
00:02:30,807 --> 00:02:32,150
You're guests here on my planet.

59
00:02:32,225 --> 00:02:33,647
You're free to be yourselves.

60
00:02:33,727 --> 00:02:35,855
I've never been any good
at disappointing Rick.

61
00:02:35,937 --> 00:02:37,154
Well, now I'm going to barf.

62
00:02:37,230 --> 00:02:38,903
Come on, Morty.

63
00:02:43,278 --> 00:02:44,871
Jerry, what are you —
What are you doing in here?

64
00:02:44,946 --> 00:02:47,745
I'm trying to find
our weed whacker,

65
00:02:47,824 --> 00:02:50,373
'cause our weeds are wack, yo.

66
00:02:50,452 --> 00:02:52,250
But you can't go in the garage
when Rick's not here.

67
00:02:52,329 --> 00:02:53,672
I "can't"?

68
00:02:53,747 --> 00:02:55,340
- Well, he doesn't like it.
- What's he gonna do?

69
00:02:55,415 --> 00:02:57,964
Crash rent-free
at his other family's house?

70
00:02:58,043 --> 00:02:59,044
What is that
supposed to mean?

71
00:02:59,127 --> 00:03:00,879
Your dad gets to walk
all over us

72
00:03:00,962 --> 00:03:03,090
because of
your abandonment issues.

73
00:03:03,173 --> 00:03:04,846
He's playing you, shorty.

74
00:03:04,925 --> 00:03:06,802
Oh, stop affecting
that stupid hip-hop dialect.

75
00:03:06,885 --> 00:03:09,855
Stop shifting the cross hairs
to my ironic urban patois

76
00:03:09,930 --> 00:03:11,807
just because your relationship
with your father

77
00:03:11,890 --> 00:03:13,688
is to' up from the flo' up.

78
00:03:15,602 --> 00:03:17,149
What the hell was that?

79
00:03:17,229 --> 00:03:18,230
I don't know.
Let's just leave.

80
00:03:21,191 --> 00:03:22,363
That is a hatch.

81
00:03:22,442 --> 00:03:24,695
Your father put a hatch
in my garage.

82
00:03:24,778 --> 00:03:26,121
You don't know it was him.

83
00:03:26,196 --> 00:03:27,948
Anyway, we're not
supposed to be in here.

84
00:03:28,031 --> 00:03:31,205
Obviously, neither is whatever's
gurgling down there.

85
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,378
"World peace achieved."
Nice.

86
00:03:37,457 --> 00:03:39,130
Little weird to publish
a paper about it

87
00:03:39,209 --> 00:03:40,085
for yourself, but hey.

88
00:03:40,168 --> 00:03:41,340
So, what's next?

89
00:03:41,420 --> 00:03:43,343
After I become
a type-one civilization,

90
00:03:43,422 --> 00:03:47,052
this world will be invited
into the Galactic Federation.

91
00:03:47,134 --> 00:03:48,135
Oh, goody.

92
00:03:48,218 --> 00:03:49,185
From there, I'll have access to

93
00:03:49,261 --> 00:03:51,059
countless planets and species.

94
00:03:51,138 --> 00:03:52,981
One by one, I will unify them,

95
00:03:53,056 --> 00:03:54,273
I will become the universe,

96
00:03:54,349 --> 00:03:56,272
and I will be what
the single-minded

97
00:03:56,351 --> 00:03:57,318
once called a god.

98
00:03:57,394 --> 00:03:58,816
I like that.

99
00:03:58,895 --> 00:04:00,397
Oh, that's pretty sexy.

100
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,357
Hey, listen, where can we get
a drink around here?

101
00:04:02,441 --> 00:04:04,739
Recreational substances
were phased out here.

102
00:04:04,818 --> 00:04:06,912
There's no need
for escape from the self

103
00:04:06,987 --> 00:04:08,159
when your world is one.

104
00:04:08,238 --> 00:04:09,785
Unity, Unity,
who am I talking to?

105
00:04:09,865 --> 00:04:11,959
I watched you assimilate
a whole police station

106
00:04:12,033 --> 00:04:14,127
just to get your hands on
the evidence locker.

107
00:04:14,202 --> 00:04:16,705
Rick, when we met,
I was a young hive mind

108
00:04:16,788 --> 00:04:19,587
with the population
of a small town.

109
00:04:19,666 --> 00:04:20,758
People change...

110
00:04:20,834 --> 00:04:22,006
Especially when I change them.

111
00:04:22,085 --> 00:04:23,337
I'm sorry to disappoint you,

112
00:04:23,420 --> 00:04:25,013
but I've grown.

113
00:04:25,088 --> 00:04:27,011
Hey, listen, I've grown, too.

114
00:04:27,090 --> 00:04:28,763
I have!

115
00:04:28,842 --> 00:04:30,469
See, I've — I've reconnected
with my family, right?

116
00:04:30,552 --> 00:04:32,054
Hm.
Why's that, I wonder?

117
00:04:32,137 --> 00:04:33,855
Maybe it's part of getting old.

118
00:04:33,930 --> 00:04:37,651
Maybe I just missed
being with a collective.

119
00:04:39,144 --> 00:04:40,737
Yes, Rick. Yes.

120
00:04:40,812 --> 00:04:42,280
- Oh, yeah.
- Yes. Yes.

121
00:04:42,355 --> 00:04:44,323
Wait, wait. Stop.
Hold it.

122
00:04:44,399 --> 00:04:46,026
Not like this.

123
00:04:46,109 --> 00:04:47,031
We need a hang glider

124
00:04:47,110 --> 00:04:48,362
and a crotchless
Uncle Sam costume,

125
00:04:48,445 --> 00:04:50,698
and I want the entire field
of your largest stadium

126
00:04:50,781 --> 00:04:52,408
covered end to end
with naked redheads,

127
00:04:52,491 --> 00:04:53,959
and I want the stands packed

128
00:04:54,034 --> 00:04:56,412
with every man that remotely
resembles my father.

129
00:05:02,542 --> 00:05:04,340
Man, look at them go.
So coordinated.

130
00:05:04,419 --> 00:05:06,842
What's your problem?

131
00:05:06,922 --> 00:05:08,515
They're making you into
a Mount Rushmore.

132
00:05:08,590 --> 00:05:09,807
They made burgers!

133
00:05:09,883 --> 00:05:11,055
Morty, open your eyes.

134
00:05:11,134 --> 00:05:12,477
There is no "They."

135
00:05:12,552 --> 00:05:14,930
These poor people's bodies
are being used.

136
00:05:15,013 --> 00:05:16,105
They're a planet of puppets.

137
00:05:16,181 --> 00:05:17,808
- I can hear you.
- Ugh.

138
00:05:17,891 --> 00:05:20,360
Well, it seems like
everybody here's cool with it.

139
00:05:20,435 --> 00:05:21,812
Except for all those redheads.

140
00:05:21,895 --> 00:05:23,192
They seem like
they're in a hurry

141
00:05:23,271 --> 00:05:24,363
to be somewhere else.

142
00:05:24,439 --> 00:05:26,533
Balloon, Summer?
Balloon, Morty?

143
00:05:26,608 --> 00:05:28,531
No, we don't want
your dumb balloons, okay?

144
00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:30,237
We're bored.
Take us back to Rick.

145
00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,072
Now's not a good time.

146
00:05:33,031 --> 00:05:34,954
Oh, yeah!

147
00:05:35,033 --> 00:05:37,877
I want yooooooou!

148
00:05:37,953 --> 00:05:39,125
Go, son, go!

149
00:05:39,204 --> 00:05:42,378
Go, son, go!
Go, son, go!

150
00:05:42,457 --> 00:05:46,007
Oh, real nice.
Real nice.

151
00:05:46,086 --> 00:05:47,963
How does a man do this
without me noticing?

152
00:05:48,046 --> 00:05:49,093
Oh, you know my dad

153
00:05:49,172 --> 00:05:50,344
once he puts his mind
to something.

154
00:05:50,423 --> 00:05:52,016
You're spinning this
to his credit?

155
00:05:54,636 --> 00:05:55,478
I'm going down there.

156
00:05:55,554 --> 00:05:57,181
- Jerry —
- Beth, this is my house,

157
00:05:57,264 --> 00:05:59,392
which makes this my garage,
my secret hatch,

158
00:05:59,474 --> 00:06:02,978
my hidden subterranean lair,
and my faceless gargler.

159
00:06:03,061 --> 00:06:04,734
Now, are you gonna keep
hating this playa

160
00:06:04,813 --> 00:06:06,486
or are you gonna jack my steez?

161
00:06:06,565 --> 00:06:08,488
Okay, you're just
making stuff up now.

162
00:06:08,567 --> 00:06:10,444
Ugh. Oh, my god.

163
00:06:10,527 --> 00:06:11,824
Oh, my god.

164
00:06:11,903 --> 00:06:13,530
Ugh!

165
00:06:13,613 --> 00:06:16,207
Oh, Rick.
That was so bad.

166
00:06:16,283 --> 00:06:17,330
What's this "was" stuff?

167
00:06:17,409 --> 00:06:18,706
I just need to hydrate,

168
00:06:18,785 --> 00:06:21,083
Then we're doing that again.

169
00:06:21,162 --> 00:06:22,880
- Oh, damn.
- Listen, if this is an invasion,

170
00:06:22,956 --> 00:06:24,208
I got to sit this one out,

171
00:06:24,291 --> 00:06:26,168
but I'll be back to have sex
with the survivors.

172
00:06:26,251 --> 00:06:27,969
It's a neighboring
hive-mind species,

173
00:06:28,044 --> 00:06:29,091
Beta Seven.

174
00:06:29,170 --> 00:06:30,968
Our planets maintain
a practical alliance

175
00:06:31,047 --> 00:06:32,674
for exchange of vital resources,

176
00:06:32,757 --> 00:06:34,430
so be nice.

177
00:06:34,509 --> 00:06:35,510
Unity,

178
00:06:37,053 --> 00:06:38,680
is it a bad time?

179
00:06:38,763 --> 00:06:42,734
Are all present life forms
assimilated?

180
00:06:42,809 --> 00:06:45,562
Beta Seven,
this is my single-minded friend

181
00:06:45,645 --> 00:06:46,737
from Earth, Rick.

182
00:06:46,813 --> 00:06:48,815
Rick Sanchez.

183
00:06:49,441 --> 00:06:50,567
Unity has spoken of you.

184
00:06:50,650 --> 00:06:52,368
All bad, I hope.
Ha ha!

185
00:06:52,444 --> 00:06:53,661
Bleeeeeeeeeh!

186
00:06:53,737 --> 00:06:55,034
Oh, Jesus Christ.

187
00:06:55,113 --> 00:06:57,707
Beta Seven, if my allies
are a problem for you,

188
00:06:57,782 --> 00:06:59,659
perhaps our alliance is,
as well.

189
00:06:59,743 --> 00:07:01,370
Our alliance is beneficial.

190
00:07:01,453 --> 00:07:03,421
When Beta Seven
expresses concern,

191
00:07:03,496 --> 00:07:05,043
it — it's only
be-because —

192
00:07:05,123 --> 00:07:07,672
Oh, snap!
Powdered neutronium?

193
00:07:07,751 --> 00:07:08,752
Amphetetron?

194
00:07:09,127 --> 00:07:10,595
You know I can make
with this stuff?

195
00:07:10,670 --> 00:07:12,843
Oh, Rick,
I — I shouldn't.

196
00:07:12,923 --> 00:07:14,925
Come on. It's not every day
that I'm town.

197
00:07:15,008 --> 00:07:16,681
It's —
It's for old time's sake.

198
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,058
Uh... Okay, what the hell.

199
00:07:19,137 --> 00:07:21,936
We can purify the resin
and make fractal dust.

200
00:07:22,015 --> 00:07:24,518
Oh, I was thinking
velocitinis, but —

201
00:07:24,601 --> 00:07:27,525
Aw, old man Rick can't party
with a whole planet?

202
00:07:29,439 --> 00:07:32,659
I can do whatever
you do and more, baby.

203
00:07:34,569 --> 00:07:36,697
You know, I think
Beta Seven over there

204
00:07:36,780 --> 00:07:38,999
is hoping your alliance
can be more than practical.

205
00:07:39,074 --> 00:07:40,621
Stop.

206
00:07:44,663 --> 00:07:48,588
Well, this explains
the $6,000 electric bill.

207
00:07:50,085 --> 00:07:51,086
Whoa!

208
00:07:53,672 --> 00:07:56,801
Well, nice. Real nice.

209
00:07:56,883 --> 00:07:58,601
Alien prisoners under the house.

210
00:07:58,677 --> 00:08:00,054
Real nice.

211
00:08:00,136 --> 00:08:02,138
Nice.
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeal —

212
00:08:02,931 --> 00:08:04,399
God damn it, stop.

213
00:08:04,474 --> 00:08:07,444
Wake up, people!
You have to fight it!

214
00:08:07,519 --> 00:08:09,942
You're under the spell
of an evil monster!

215
00:08:10,021 --> 00:08:12,774
- I can hear you.
- Yeah, so you keep saying.

216
00:08:14,192 --> 00:08:15,910
- Summer!
- Wake up!

217
00:08:15,986 --> 00:08:18,114
You have to have some
individuality left in there!

218
00:08:18,196 --> 00:08:19,493
Why do you hate me, Summer?

219
00:08:19,572 --> 00:08:21,074
I'm not talking to you.

220
00:08:21,157 --> 00:08:23,580
I'm talking to...
Steven Phillips.

221
00:08:23,660 --> 00:08:26,163
Steven, set yourself free.

222
00:08:26,246 --> 00:08:28,544
Summer, before I took
over this planet,

223
00:08:28,623 --> 00:08:31,126
this man was
a registered sex offender.

224
00:08:31,209 --> 00:08:33,883
Yeah? Well, so what?
At least he was himself.

225
00:08:33,962 --> 00:08:36,932
This woman was a drug addict
on the verge of suicide.

226
00:08:37,007 --> 00:08:38,850
Now she's a marine biologist.

227
00:08:38,925 --> 00:08:40,848
Listen, Unity, I don't think
my sister's trying to say

228
00:08:40,927 --> 00:08:42,224
that life would be perfect
without you.

229
00:08:42,303 --> 00:08:43,930
I think she's just saying
that life would be,

230
00:08:44,014 --> 00:08:45,266
you know, life.

231
00:08:45,348 --> 00:08:48,101
I have transformed life
here into a paradise.

232
00:08:48,184 --> 00:08:50,152
Prostitutes are now scientists.

233
00:08:50,228 --> 00:08:52,401
The homeless
are now "Phisosophers."

234
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,153
Oh. Oh.
"Ph-phisosophers"? Nice.

235
00:08:54,232 --> 00:08:56,326
- Philopol... Phiphophopher...
- Oh, my god.

236
00:08:56,401 --> 00:08:58,278
Where did you learn to talk,
you grandpa-stealing slut?

237
00:08:58,361 --> 00:09:00,363
I'm feeling...

238
00:09:02,365 --> 00:09:03,366
Ugh.

239
00:09:04,075 --> 00:09:05,668
Oh, man, let me help
all of you guys up.

240
00:09:05,744 --> 00:09:07,712
I'm fine.

241
00:09:11,624 --> 00:09:14,002
Do you know
what I love about you, Rick?

242
00:09:14,085 --> 00:09:15,962
You're the only single mind
I've met

243
00:09:16,046 --> 00:09:17,593
that really sees
the big picture.

244
00:09:17,672 --> 00:09:19,015
You got that right.

245
00:09:19,090 --> 00:09:20,592
But, baby, listen —

246
00:09:20,675 --> 00:09:23,098
Y-you're talking about taking
over planets and galaxies.

247
00:09:23,178 --> 00:09:24,555
You got to —
Got to just remember

248
00:09:24,637 --> 00:09:26,059
to let go sometimes, you know?

249
00:09:26,139 --> 00:09:27,186
I can let go.
Hey, look.

250
00:09:27,265 --> 00:09:28,608
You see that town
across the river?

251
00:09:28,683 --> 00:09:30,151
Watch this.

252
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,483
- Whoa!
- Ha ha! Whoo!

253
00:09:32,562 --> 00:09:34,064
Whoa!
That's not what I meant!

254
00:09:34,147 --> 00:09:36,525
It's okay. It's okay.

255
00:09:36,608 --> 00:09:39,487
I evacuated.
I evacuated the town. Look.

256
00:09:39,569 --> 00:09:42,322
Hey! We're right here. We're fine.

257
00:09:46,493 --> 00:09:50,043
Oh, that was awesome.

258
00:09:50,121 --> 00:09:52,249
My — my grandkids
weren't in that town, right?

259
00:09:52,332 --> 00:09:54,209
A-are my grandkids alive?

260
00:09:54,292 --> 00:09:56,340
M-my drink is empty.

261
00:10:12,852 --> 00:10:16,106
- Unity, what's happening?
- Who's Unity?

262
00:10:16,189 --> 00:10:18,738
You kids have nice feet.
Mind if I take a picture?

263
00:10:18,817 --> 00:10:21,366
- Gross. No.

264
00:10:21,444 --> 00:10:23,663
I think you're getting
what you wanted, Summer.

265
00:10:23,738 --> 00:10:25,706
Something's happening to Unity.

266
00:10:25,782 --> 00:10:28,501
Do all of you remember
who you are?

267
00:10:28,576 --> 00:10:31,045
Yeah, uh, my name is Ron Benson.

268
00:10:31,121 --> 00:10:34,000
I'm an electrical engineer,
father of two,

269
00:10:34,082 --> 00:10:37,677
and, as you can see from my
flat, concentric nipple rings,

270
00:10:37,752 --> 00:10:40,221
I'm a member of
this planet's top race!

271
00:10:40,296 --> 00:10:41,969
Okay, that's good.

272
00:10:42,048 --> 00:10:44,426
Uh, don't focus too much
on the last part, but —

273
00:10:44,509 --> 00:10:47,388
I'm Daryl Jefferson.
I'm a landscaper.

274
00:10:47,470 --> 00:10:49,017
And I'll be damned if

275
00:10:49,097 --> 00:10:51,395
that ripple-nipple bitch's
race is superior!

276
00:10:51,474 --> 00:10:53,397
The cone-nipple people
will rule this world!

277
00:10:53,476 --> 00:10:55,854
You shut your mouth,
you dirty knife-nipple bastards.

278
00:10:55,937 --> 00:10:56,984
What'd you say to me,

279
00:10:57,063 --> 00:10:59,191
you target-chest
piece of shit.

280
00:10:59,274 --> 00:11:01,026
Race war!

281
00:11:07,949 --> 00:11:08,950
Ugh!

282
00:11:11,494 --> 00:11:12,711
Why are you fighting?

283
00:11:12,787 --> 00:11:15,006
Can't you see
you're all the same?

284
00:11:15,081 --> 00:11:16,503
Oh, Summer.

285
00:11:16,583 --> 00:11:18,005
First race war, huh?

286
00:11:24,215 --> 00:11:26,217
Way to go, Summer.
You started a race war.

287
00:11:26,301 --> 00:11:28,895
I didn't start it!
They're the racists.

288
00:11:28,970 --> 00:11:30,222
I — I merely
empowered them

289
00:11:30,305 --> 00:11:32,182
to follow their apparently
misguided dreams.

290
00:11:32,265 --> 00:11:33,767
Okay, thanks for clarifying.

291
00:11:33,850 --> 00:11:35,727
I'll have a super-accurate
headstone now.

292
00:11:35,810 --> 00:11:37,027
Hey, wait —
What race are you guys?

293
00:11:37,103 --> 00:11:38,195
We're neither. S-see?

294
00:11:38,271 --> 00:11:39,898
Yeah, take my word for it.

295
00:11:39,981 --> 00:11:41,699
We just have regular nipples.

296
00:11:41,774 --> 00:11:44,118
Hey, these two freaks
have no race!

297
00:11:50,283 --> 00:11:51,830
Oh, there's no place like home.

298
00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:53,457
There's no place like home.
Remember, Summer?

299
00:11:53,536 --> 00:11:55,038
From Dorothy
and the tiny people movie?

300
00:11:55,121 --> 00:11:56,247
Yes, yes.

301
00:11:56,331 --> 00:11:58,208
- All the tiny people.
- Dorothy, take us away.

302
00:12:05,590 --> 00:12:07,592
Hello, Summer.
Hello, Morty.

303
00:12:07,675 --> 00:12:10,178
- It's okay. You're safe now.
- Unity?

304
00:12:10,261 --> 00:12:13,390
- Yes.
- Oh, Unity, I am so sorry.

305
00:12:13,473 --> 00:12:16,192
I didn't know freedom meant
people doing stuff that sucks.

306
00:12:16,267 --> 00:12:17,689
I was thinking more Of

307
00:12:17,769 --> 00:12:19,612
a choose your own
cellphone-carrier thing.

308
00:12:19,687 --> 00:12:21,064
Oh, Summer,
you did nothing wrong.

309
00:12:21,147 --> 00:12:22,774
I'm having fun
with your grandpa.

310
00:12:22,857 --> 00:12:24,074
Lost a little control.

311
00:12:24,150 --> 00:12:26,323
Probably shouldn't be
piloting a hovercopter,

312
00:12:26,402 --> 00:12:29,155
nor should I be running
200,000 pediatric hospitals

313
00:12:29,239 --> 00:12:30,661
and 12 million deep fryers,

314
00:12:30,740 --> 00:12:32,037
but hey,
it's not like this planet

315
00:12:32,116 --> 00:12:33,538
can take its business elsewhere.

316
00:12:33,618 --> 00:12:35,495
Um, should we maybe
stop somewhere

317
00:12:35,578 --> 00:12:36,955
and get you a coffee?

318
00:12:37,038 --> 00:12:39,006
Maybe splash a little water
on your face, or...

319
00:12:39,082 --> 00:12:40,925
No, no, if I wanted to be sober,

320
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,718
I wouldn't have gotten drunk.

321
00:12:42,794 --> 00:12:43,795
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

322
00:12:47,882 --> 00:12:49,509
Oh, man.
I cannot wait —

323
00:12:49,592 --> 00:12:52,641
I cannot wait to hear Rick
explain his way around this.

324
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:53,972
He is gone.

325
00:12:54,055 --> 00:12:55,272
Jerry.
Stop, please, okay?

326
00:12:55,348 --> 00:12:56,850
We weren't even
supposed to be down here.

327
00:12:56,933 --> 00:12:58,150
If we confront him
about this —

328
00:12:58,226 --> 00:12:59,773
Oh, my god!
I love this.

329
00:12:59,852 --> 00:13:02,275
I love that this is
how far you will go for him.

330
00:13:02,355 --> 00:13:04,653
You want to go upstairs
and cut carrots

331
00:13:04,732 --> 00:13:06,279
and watch a Lifetime original

332
00:13:06,359 --> 00:13:08,862
above a fucking alien dungeon!

333
00:13:08,945 --> 00:13:11,789
Your relationship with
your father is psychotic.

334
00:13:11,864 --> 00:13:13,286
Oh, listen to you
relish the idea

335
00:13:13,366 --> 00:13:15,164
that my genius father
is a bad person.

336
00:13:15,243 --> 00:13:16,870
Step out of your ego
for a second

337
00:13:16,953 --> 00:13:18,830
and look at this thing —
It's a monster.

338
00:13:18,913 --> 00:13:20,165
He might have it chained up

339
00:13:20,248 --> 00:13:21,750
so that it doesn't
eat the planet!

340
00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:24,006
Right, because your father's
such an altruist?

341
00:13:24,085 --> 00:13:27,680
I once saw him briefly
forget the word for "Humans."

342
00:13:27,755 --> 00:13:29,883
He's probably harvesting
this creature's organs.

343
00:13:29,966 --> 00:13:31,889
He's probably racing
to cure its space AIDS.

344
00:13:31,968 --> 00:13:33,185
- He's going to eat it!
- He's protecting it!

345
00:13:34,178 --> 00:13:35,646
Shut up!

346
00:13:37,056 --> 00:13:39,058
Whoa!

347
00:13:39,350 --> 00:13:40,977
Unity, this place is a mess.

348
00:13:41,060 --> 00:13:42,186
Oh, it's cool.

349
00:13:42,270 --> 00:13:43,237
The part of me
that's the cleaning lady

350
00:13:43,313 --> 00:13:44,656
is coming on Friday.

351
00:13:44,731 --> 00:13:46,324
Oh, my god. I have a meeting

352
00:13:46,399 --> 00:13:48,242
at the Galactic Federation
in an hour.

353
00:13:48,318 --> 00:13:49,319
Oh, I'll never make it.

354
00:13:49,402 --> 00:13:50,949
Ah, I'll push it to next week.

355
00:13:51,029 --> 00:13:52,997
Unity, could you get Rick
out here, please?

356
00:13:53,072 --> 00:13:54,619
He's unavailable.
He's...

357
00:13:54,699 --> 00:13:56,326
having sex with you.
We get it. Gross.

358
00:13:56,409 --> 00:13:57,661
Get him out here now.

359
00:13:57,744 --> 00:13:58,791
I don't think
he wants to be —

360
00:13:58,870 --> 00:14:01,043
- Grandpa Rick!
- Rick! Rick!

361
00:14:01,122 --> 00:14:02,840
I'm gonna tell mom and dad
about the gagoo

362
00:14:02,915 --> 00:14:04,258
you have locked up
under the garage!

363
00:14:04,334 --> 00:14:06,883
What the hell is your problem?

364
00:14:06,961 --> 00:14:08,929
Grandpa,
we need to go home, now.

365
00:14:09,005 --> 00:14:10,803
Fine. Sheesh.

366
00:14:13,426 --> 00:14:14,894
See you.

367
00:14:14,969 --> 00:14:16,687
Uh, Rick,
I think we should all go.

368
00:14:16,763 --> 00:14:18,982
Tend to your garden, kids.
I'm kind of doing a thing here.

369
00:14:19,057 --> 00:14:21,151
Whoo!

370
00:14:21,225 --> 00:14:23,068
Grandpa Rick,
we're not leaving without you.

371
00:14:23,144 --> 00:14:25,067
Oh, my god, you guys.
I get it.

372
00:14:25,146 --> 00:14:27,240
You're afraid
the big, bad hive mind

373
00:14:27,315 --> 00:14:29,363
is gonna steal
your grandpa away.

374
00:14:29,442 --> 00:14:30,944
Actually, no.
I think Unity's great

375
00:14:31,027 --> 00:14:32,700
and you're
a horrible influence on it.

376
00:14:32,779 --> 00:14:34,372
- What?
- This isn't healthy, Rick.

377
00:14:34,447 --> 00:14:36,996
You know, you're —
You're really up to no good

378
00:14:37,075 --> 00:14:39,077
around here a-at
this place, you know?

379
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:40,332
You and Unity are like —

380
00:14:40,411 --> 00:14:42,084
Like leggings
and mid-calf boots.

381
00:14:42,163 --> 00:14:43,756
You think you're great together,

382
00:14:43,831 --> 00:14:46,129
but you're just bringing out
the worst in each other.

383
00:14:46,209 --> 00:14:48,758
Oh, gee.
Boy, Summer. Well put.

384
00:14:48,836 --> 00:14:50,634
Uh, why don't we see
what Unity thinks?

385
00:14:50,713 --> 00:14:51,714
Unity?

386
00:14:52,090 --> 00:14:53,763
I'm just taking
a little break from stuff.

387
00:14:53,841 --> 00:14:55,809
You know?
I need to relax.

388
00:14:55,885 --> 00:14:57,933
Oh, hey, w-what's this
on the news, guys?

389
00:14:58,012 --> 00:14:59,138
I-I-let me turn it up.

390
00:14:59,222 --> 00:15:00,644
In the news today,

391
00:15:00,723 --> 00:15:02,316
this looks
a lot worse than it is.

392
00:15:02,392 --> 00:15:04,019
We're really just
having a good time.

393
00:15:04,102 --> 00:15:05,445
Karen?
Thanks, Todd.

394
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:07,363
Up next, are you
a concerned grandchild

395
00:15:07,438 --> 00:15:09,031
or just a buzzkill?

396
00:15:09,107 --> 00:15:10,950
We'll tell you
how you can know for sure.

397
00:15:11,025 --> 00:15:12,948
I think you two
are a little outnumbered.

398
00:15:13,027 --> 00:15:15,121
Okay, well, what if
you did it for me?

399
00:15:15,196 --> 00:15:17,369
What if you came with us
as a favor to us

400
00:15:17,448 --> 00:15:19,075
because you love us?

401
00:15:19,158 --> 00:15:20,831
What? Dumb. Bye.

402
00:15:20,910 --> 00:15:22,253
But Rick,
Summer's just —

403
00:15:22,328 --> 00:15:24,080
Summer's just a hyper-emotional,
needy little —

404
00:15:24,163 --> 00:15:25,415
What's the word
I'm looking for here?

405
00:15:25,498 --> 00:15:26,499
Uh... human.

406
00:15:27,083 --> 00:15:28,084
It runs in the family.

407
00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:29,259
I can tolerate it,

408
00:15:29,335 --> 00:15:30,507
but I can't
give a crap about it.

409
00:15:30,586 --> 00:15:32,088
Take a hike.

410
00:15:32,171 --> 00:15:35,095
Take care of yourself, Unity.

411
00:15:38,219 --> 00:15:40,438
I'm not looking for judgment,
just a yes or no —

412
00:15:40,513 --> 00:15:42,390
Can you assimilate a giraffe?

413
00:15:42,473 --> 00:15:43,269
You're the worst!

414
00:15:43,349 --> 00:15:46,102
No, you're the worst!
You don't support this family!

415
00:15:46,185 --> 00:15:47,562
All you care about is yourself!

416
00:15:47,645 --> 00:15:48,862
You think supporting the family
is about supporting you emotionally...

417
00:15:48,938 --> 00:15:50,485
you've got two children
being dragged across the cosmos

418
00:15:50,565 --> 00:15:51,908
because it's never
enough, Jerry!

419
00:15:51,983 --> 00:15:53,109
by your dangerously
ill father!

420
00:15:53,192 --> 00:15:54,409
And you force me to
watch it happen...

421
00:15:54,485 --> 00:15:56,988
because you'd rather
lose them and lose me...

422
00:15:57,071 --> 00:15:58,448
it's like to be afraid
of losing anything

423
00:15:58,531 --> 00:15:59,532
- than lose him!
- Because you cling...

424
00:15:59,615 --> 00:16:00,582
And why? Because
you're the child, Beth!

425
00:16:00,658 --> 00:16:03,537
You, not me! You!

426
00:16:03,619 --> 00:16:05,166
- Aah!
- Aah!

427
00:16:05,246 --> 00:16:06,748
- Oh my god.
- Aah!

428
00:16:12,211 --> 00:16:14,339
Um, first of all, hello.

429
00:16:14,422 --> 00:16:16,516
Uh, my name is
Blim Blam the Korblok.

430
00:16:16,591 --> 00:16:18,389
Second of all,
cards on the table,

431
00:16:18,468 --> 00:16:20,186
I'm a murderer that eats babies,

432
00:16:20,261 --> 00:16:22,764
and I came to this planet
to eat babies.

433
00:16:22,847 --> 00:16:27,603
However, I am also carrying
a highly infectious disease

434
00:16:27,685 --> 00:16:30,985
that I suppose you could call
"Space AIDS" as you put it.

435
00:16:31,063 --> 00:16:32,189
And Rick did chain me up

436
00:16:32,273 --> 00:16:34,196
so that he could
attempt to cure it.

437
00:16:34,275 --> 00:16:36,323
At the same time,

438
00:16:36,402 --> 00:16:38,325
Rick's motivation
to cure my disease

439
00:16:38,404 --> 00:16:40,498
was not to save my life
or anyone else's,

440
00:16:40,573 --> 00:16:43,747
but to patent and sell the cure
for billions of blemflarcks.

441
00:16:43,826 --> 00:16:45,294
But you know the reason why

442
00:16:45,369 --> 00:16:47,337
I ripped my chains
out of the wall?

443
00:16:47,413 --> 00:16:50,212
And do you know why I'm never
coming back to this planet?

444
00:16:50,291 --> 00:16:54,171
Because the two of you
are the fucking worst!

445
00:16:54,253 --> 00:16:56,847
You both hate yourselves
and each other.

446
00:16:56,923 --> 00:16:59,176
And the idea that it has
anything to do with Rick

447
00:16:59,258 --> 00:17:00,805
is laughable.

448
00:17:00,885 --> 00:17:03,058
I'd laugh,
but I'm biologically incapable.

449
00:17:03,137 --> 00:17:04,855
That's how alien I am.

450
00:17:04,931 --> 00:17:07,309
And even I'm sitting here
listening to the two of you

451
00:17:07,391 --> 00:17:10,235
and being like, "What the fuck"!

452
00:17:10,311 --> 00:17:12,439
So good luck
with your shitty marriage,

453
00:17:12,522 --> 00:17:15,571
and tell Rick I'm sorry he has
to deal with either of you.

454
00:17:15,650 --> 00:17:18,028
Blim Blam out.

455
00:17:22,949 --> 00:17:25,372
You know what?
I'm taking this.

456
00:17:28,746 --> 00:17:31,545
How do you —
What is this?

457
00:17:34,168 --> 00:17:37,012
Uh, is there a slow setting?

458
00:17:37,088 --> 00:17:40,012
Best door ever.

459
00:17:47,431 --> 00:17:50,526
Okay, okay. Now make them cry,
but happy crying.

460
00:17:50,601 --> 00:17:52,820
Now make them all
make fun of the blonde one.

461
00:17:52,895 --> 00:17:54,272
Now make them all
do it on the table.

462
00:17:54,355 --> 00:17:56,528
I can't believe you created
a whole show for me.

463
00:17:56,607 --> 00:17:58,154
Now cancel it.

464
00:17:58,234 --> 00:17:59,281
Okay, now put it back on.

465
00:18:00,486 --> 00:18:01,954
All right, I'm bored.

466
00:18:02,029 --> 00:18:03,451
Rick, is there a way for you

467
00:18:03,531 --> 00:18:05,078
to call Summer and Morty?

468
00:18:05,157 --> 00:18:07,501
- I feel bad that they —
- Pbht. Screw those guys.

469
00:18:07,577 --> 00:18:10,000
Ugh.
I'll be right back.

470
00:18:10,079 --> 00:18:12,127
Don't waste your brain
on those weirdos, Unity.

471
00:18:12,206 --> 00:18:13,173
They're no different
from any of the aimless

472
00:18:13,249 --> 00:18:14,546
chumps that you occupy.

473
00:18:14,625 --> 00:18:16,047
They just put you at
the center of their lives

474
00:18:16,127 --> 00:18:17,299
because you're powerful.

475
00:18:17,378 --> 00:18:18,880
And then because
they put you there,

476
00:18:18,963 --> 00:18:20,260
they want you
to be less powerful.

477
00:18:20,339 --> 00:18:21,340
Never gonna happen
though, right?

478
00:18:21,424 --> 00:18:22,516
Never.

479
00:18:22,592 --> 00:18:24,594
Never.
Back in a flash.

480
00:18:29,682 --> 00:18:31,605
Best weekend ever, Rick.

481
00:18:31,684 --> 00:18:35,029
I agree, Rick.
Let's see how long we can go.

482
00:18:35,104 --> 00:18:37,948
Hey, Une.
You got any more —

483
00:18:40,526 --> 00:18:42,949
Rick, forgive me for doing this in notes.

484
00:18:43,029 --> 00:18:46,533
I'm not strong enough
to do it in persons.

485
00:18:46,616 --> 00:18:48,243
I realize now that I'm attracted to you

486
00:18:48,326 --> 00:18:50,579
for the same reason
I can't be with you.

487
00:18:50,661 --> 00:18:52,254
You can't change.

488
00:18:52,330 --> 00:18:54,549
And I have
no problem with that,

489
00:18:54,624 --> 00:18:57,468
but it clearly means
I have a problem with myself.

490
00:18:57,543 --> 00:18:59,887
I'm sure there's no
perfect version of me.

491
00:18:59,962 --> 00:19:02,715
I'm sure I'll just unify
species after species

492
00:19:02,798 --> 00:19:04,550
and never really be complete.

493
00:19:04,634 --> 00:19:06,557
But I know how it goes with us.

494
00:19:06,636 --> 00:19:09,515
I lose who I am
and become pan' of you.

495
00:19:09,597 --> 00:19:10,940
Because in a strange way,

496
00:19:11,015 --> 00:19:13,609
you're better at what I do
without even trying.

497
00:19:13,684 --> 00:19:18,656
Yours, and nobody else's, Unity.

498
00:19:19,982 --> 00:19:22,326
P.S., I don't know where
those coal miners were

499
00:19:22,401 --> 00:19:23,527
before they were assimilated.

500
00:19:23,611 --> 00:19:25,158
You might want to get checked.

501
00:19:28,366 --> 00:19:29,367
Hey.

502
00:19:30,493 --> 00:19:31,665
Dad.

503
00:19:33,162 --> 00:19:36,507
I, urn — Jerry and I

504
00:19:36,582 --> 00:19:39,176
were looking for
our weed whacker

505
00:19:39,251 --> 00:19:41,720
and found your subterranean lair

506
00:19:41,796 --> 00:19:44,299
and your alien prisoner,

507
00:19:44,382 --> 00:19:46,259
and he got away.

508
00:19:46,342 --> 00:19:47,719
And I know I sound like mom,

509
00:19:47,802 --> 00:19:49,554
but I can't sacrifice
this whole family's safety

510
00:19:49,637 --> 00:19:51,480
just because I'm afraid
you'll leave again,

511
00:19:51,555 --> 00:19:53,398
so no more alien prisoners

512
00:19:53,474 --> 00:19:56,193
and no more
subterranean excavation

513
00:19:56,268 --> 00:19:57,690
without consulting us.

514
00:19:57,770 --> 00:19:59,772
- Okay.
- Okay?

515
00:20:00,106 --> 00:20:03,030
"Okay" — like you're gonna
quietly teleport somewhere

516
00:20:03,109 --> 00:20:05,407
and never come back?
- No. It's your house.

517
00:20:05,486 --> 00:20:08,615
Grandpa Rick,
what happened with Unity?

518
00:20:08,698 --> 00:20:11,326
Who? Oh, Unity.
Yeah, well...

519
00:20:11,409 --> 00:20:13,161
I mean, honestly,
we're talking about an entity

520
00:20:13,244 --> 00:20:14,541
that thrives on
enslavement, you know?

521
00:20:14,620 --> 00:20:16,714
It's not cool. Fun's fun,
but who needs it?

522
00:20:16,789 --> 00:20:18,211
I'll be in the garage.

523
00:22:04,438 --> 00:22:06,816
Unity! Unity!

524
00:22:06,899 --> 00:22:08,276
Unity!

525
00:22:09,026 --> 00:22:10,152
How can I assist you?

526
00:22:10,236 --> 00:22:12,455
I want to talk to
Unity, Beta Seven.

527
00:22:12,530 --> 00:22:13,622
I know it's in there.

528
00:22:13,697 --> 00:22:15,244
You're classified
as a hostile entity,

529
00:22:15,324 --> 00:22:16,951
and Unity
doesn't want to talk to you.

530
00:22:17,034 --> 00:22:17,956
I know your game, Beta Seven.

531
00:22:18,035 --> 00:22:19,207
I've met a billion of you,

532
00:22:19,286 --> 00:22:21,505
you little on-deck,
in-the-wings shoulder to cry on!

533
00:22:21,580 --> 00:22:24,675
You are classified
as a hostile entity.

534
00:22:24,750 --> 00:22:26,172
Oh, you're just loving this, mother—

535
00:22:26,252 --> 00:22:28,254
This isn't gonna
shake out like you think, pal.

536
00:22:28,337 --> 00:22:29,589
Unity's not into other
hive minds.

537
00:22:29,672 --> 00:22:31,174
It's gonna suck you in
and use you up,

538
00:22:31,257 --> 00:22:32,474
and a month from now,

539
00:22:32,550 --> 00:22:33,551
I'm gonna be making out
with all of you

540
00:22:33,634 --> 00:22:34,510
in a bunch of red wigs!

541
00:22:34,593 --> 00:22:36,595
Unity! Unity!

542
00:22:37,179 --> 00:22:39,307
Unity, I know you can hear me.
Get out here.

543
00:22:39,390 --> 00:22:40,607
Weapons systems engaged.

544
00:22:40,683 --> 00:22:42,401
Oh, in your dreams
you have weapon systems.

545
00:22:42,476 --> 00:22:44,820
Ugh, Rick, you said
we were going to a movie.

546
00:22:44,895 --> 00:22:45,817
We are, Morty.

547
00:22:45,896 --> 00:22:47,569
All right, Beta shit Seven,

548
00:22:47,648 --> 00:22:49,616
you just got
saved by the bell, bitch!

549
00:22:51,277 --> 00:22:52,620
Did you get any of that?

550
00:22:52,695 --> 00:22:54,072
It's-a good show-a.

551
00:22:56,990 --> 00:23:02,990
Ripped By mstoll