1
00:00:04,495 --> 00:00:06,247
Steve,
I just got a weird e-mail.

2
00:00:06,330 --> 00:00:07,923
Did you buy us airline tickets?

3
00:00:07,998 --> 00:00:09,875
Aw, shoot. It was supposed
to be a surprise.

4
00:00:09,958 --> 00:00:11,335
I wanted to thank you

5
00:00:11,418 --> 00:00:12,761
for letting me live here
all this time,

6
00:00:12,836 --> 00:00:14,588
so I'm treating the family
to a vacation!

7
00:00:14,671 --> 00:00:15,888
Steve, you're so sweet.

8
00:00:15,964 --> 00:00:17,841
- Thanks, Uncle Steve!
- Best Uncle ever.

9
00:00:17,925 --> 00:00:19,302
Look out, world.

10
00:00:19,384 --> 00:00:20,806
The Smith family
is going to Paris!

11
00:00:20,886 --> 00:00:22,479
Yeah! Awesome!

12
00:00:22,554 --> 00:00:24,522
Rick, I don't like glowing
rocks in the kitchen trash!

13
00:00:24,598 --> 00:00:26,225
Well, I don't like

14
00:00:26,308 --> 00:00:28,731
your unemployed genes
in my grandchildren, Jerry,

15
00:00:28,810 --> 00:00:30,904
but life is made
of little concessions.

16
00:00:30,979 --> 00:00:32,356
I —
You know what?

17
00:00:32,439 --> 00:00:33,861
You're gonna land
on your feet, Jer.

18
00:00:33,941 --> 00:00:35,784
Some company out there's
gonna thank their lucky stars

19
00:00:35,859 --> 00:00:37,657
they hired my little brother.

20
00:00:37,736 --> 00:00:38,658
Who the fuck are you?

21
00:00:38,737 --> 00:00:40,239
My goofy brother, Steve.

22
00:00:40,322 --> 00:00:42,450
He's been
living here almost a year now.

23
00:00:42,533 --> 00:00:43,705
Are you losing your mind?

24
00:00:43,784 --> 00:00:45,377
Hey, someone's been spending

25
00:00:45,452 --> 00:00:47,250
too much time
around glowing rocks.

26
00:00:47,329 --> 00:00:48,330
Am I right?

27
00:00:49,748 --> 00:00:50,670
- Oh, my god!
- Call an ambulance!

28
00:00:50,749 --> 00:00:51,671
Oh, god! Steve!

29
00:00:51,750 --> 00:00:52,797
What the hell, Rick?
What the hell?

30
00:00:52,876 --> 00:00:54,093
Will everybody just relax
for a second?

31
00:00:54,169 --> 00:00:56,638
There's no such thing
as an "Uncle Steve."

32
00:00:56,713 --> 00:00:58,886
- That is an alien parasite.

33
00:01:00,259 --> 00:01:01,852
But I've known him
my whole life.

34
00:01:01,927 --> 00:01:03,270
No, you haven't, Jerry.

35
00:01:03,345 --> 00:01:04,722
These telepathic
little bastards,

36
00:01:04,805 --> 00:01:06,432
they embed themselves
in memories,

37
00:01:06,515 --> 00:01:07,983
and th-then they use
those to multiply

38
00:01:08,058 --> 00:01:09,810
and spread out,
take over planets.

39
00:01:09,893 --> 00:01:11,110
It's —
It's disgusting.

40
00:01:11,186 --> 00:01:12,278
Steve wasn't real?

41
00:01:12,354 --> 00:01:13,571
He's a real piece of shit.

42
00:01:13,647 --> 00:01:15,149
This is a big one.
Somebody probably

43
00:01:15,232 --> 00:01:16,779
tracked it in last week
on the bottom of their shoe

44
00:01:16,858 --> 00:01:18,326
on a piece of alien fruit.

45
00:01:18,402 --> 00:01:19,904
- Someone?
- Get off the high road, Summer.

46
00:01:19,987 --> 00:01:21,204
We all got pink eye

47
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,032
because you won't stop
texting on the toilet.

48
00:01:23,115 --> 00:01:25,038
But Uncle Steve taught me
how to ride a bike!

49
00:01:25,117 --> 00:01:27,119
No, "Steve" put that memory
in your brain

50
00:01:27,202 --> 00:01:29,330
so he could live in your house,
eat your food, and multiply.

51
00:01:29,413 --> 00:01:31,040
We could be infested
with these things.

52
00:01:31,123 --> 00:01:32,716
So we got to keep an eye out

53
00:01:32,791 --> 00:01:34,634
for any zany, wacky
characters that pop up.

54
00:01:34,710 --> 00:01:36,178
Ooh, whee!

55
00:01:36,253 --> 00:01:37,675
Whatever you want, Rick!
We're here to help!

56
00:01:37,754 --> 00:01:39,301
Thanks,
Mr. Poopybutthole.

57
00:01:39,381 --> 00:01:42,055
I always could count on you.

58
00:01:46,990 --> 00:01:52,990
Ripped By mstoll

59
00:02:16,376 --> 00:02:18,754
All right. There's six of us,
and that's it.

60
00:02:18,837 --> 00:02:21,636
Me, Morty, Jerry, Beth,
Mr. Poopybutthole, and Summer.

61
00:02:21,715 --> 00:02:24,218
Maybe you got the first one
in time, Rick!

62
00:02:24,301 --> 00:02:26,269
Can't afford to chance it.

63
00:02:31,475 --> 00:02:34,149
Dad, why does our house
have blast shields?

64
00:02:34,227 --> 00:02:35,524
Trust me, Beth,
you don't want to know

65
00:02:35,604 --> 00:02:36,821
how many answers
that question has.

66
00:02:36,897 --> 00:02:38,774
Ooh, gosh,
it feels claustrophobic!

67
00:02:38,857 --> 00:02:40,279
Reminds me of that time

68
00:02:40,359 --> 00:02:42,453
we all got stuck
in the elevator together.

69
00:02:42,527 --> 00:02:46,407
Y— remember that?
After "The Hulk" musical?

70
00:02:50,285 --> 00:02:52,504
Jerry, buttons don't work better
if you hit them harder,

71
00:02:52,579 --> 00:02:54,297
And foam fists
don't make you strong.

72
00:02:54,373 --> 00:02:56,341
I know.
Friends make you strong.

73
00:02:56,416 --> 00:02:58,510
I watched
the same musical you did.

74
00:02:58,585 --> 00:03:00,462
Why couldn't I bring
my portal gun?

75
00:03:01,963 --> 00:03:03,510
Why did all the drinks
have to be extra large?

76
00:03:03,590 --> 00:03:05,217
Oh, the Hulk.
I just got that.

77
00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:07,803
Just pee your pants. I did it
the minute we got stuck.

78
00:03:07,886 --> 00:03:09,684
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, shame me.

79
00:03:09,763 --> 00:03:12,391
At least when I'm disgusting,
it's on purpose.

80
00:03:12,474 --> 00:03:14,351
Oh, y'all, we're gonna be fine.

81
00:03:14,434 --> 00:03:17,529
I've always been here for
you guys, and I always will be.

82
00:03:17,604 --> 00:03:20,858
Somebody call for repairs?

83
00:03:20,941 --> 00:03:22,363
Yay! Cousin Nicky!

84
00:03:22,442 --> 00:03:23,659
It's me, cousin Nicky.

85
00:03:23,735 --> 00:03:25,578
I'm walkin' here!
I mean, I'm not.

86
00:03:25,654 --> 00:03:27,531
I'm crouched
in the elevator shaft,

87
00:03:27,614 --> 00:03:30,242
but hey, I'm walkin' here!

88
00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:33,253
It's true.

89
00:03:33,328 --> 00:03:35,547
We really do get into some
crazy situations as a family,

90
00:03:35,622 --> 00:03:37,750
mostly when
we're cooped up like this.

91
00:03:37,833 --> 00:03:39,835
Hey, maybe
Mr. Poopypants is right.

92
00:03:39,918 --> 00:03:41,386
L-let's get
some fresh air.

93
00:03:41,461 --> 00:03:42,713
Come on, cousin Nicky.
You heard Rick.

94
00:03:42,796 --> 00:03:44,343
We have to stay quarantined

95
00:03:44,423 --> 00:03:45,970
until we know that there's
no more of these things.

96
00:03:46,049 --> 00:03:47,471
I hear you, Morty.

97
00:03:47,551 --> 00:03:49,269
Back in Brooklyn,
we got a sayin' —

98
00:03:49,344 --> 00:03:51,267
"We're walkin' here!"

99
00:03:51,346 --> 00:03:52,563
Nicky, get —

100
00:03:52,639 --> 00:03:53,765
Ch!

101
00:03:53,849 --> 00:03:55,567
What the...?

102
00:03:55,642 --> 00:03:57,565
Cousin Nicky was a parasite?

103
00:03:57,644 --> 00:03:59,487
Six, Morty! There's supposed
to be six of us!

104
00:03:59,563 --> 00:04:01,736
If there's seven, then
that means somebody's not real.

105
00:04:01,815 --> 00:04:03,362
But how did you know
it was Nicky?

106
00:04:03,442 --> 00:04:04,944
I guessed. That's why I
aimed for his shoulder.

107
00:04:05,026 --> 00:04:06,869
So we can't trust
any of our memories now?

108
00:04:06,945 --> 00:04:09,073
Nicky was the reason we found
that old Nazi submarine.

109
00:04:09,156 --> 00:04:10,499
Did that not even happen?

110
00:04:10,574 --> 00:04:12,622
Well, of course it happened.

111
00:04:12,701 --> 00:04:16,296
Now that I possess
the mighty staff of Rah-gubaba,

112
00:04:16,371 --> 00:04:18,590
the world will tremble
before the Fourth Reich!

113
00:04:18,665 --> 00:04:19,882
This is the last time

114
00:04:19,958 --> 00:04:22,131
I ask you for help
on my history final, Rick.

115
00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:25,555
Hey, we got a word for Nazis
back in Brooklyn, pal.

116
00:04:25,630 --> 00:04:27,303
I'm comfortable being
called a Nazi.

117
00:04:27,382 --> 00:04:30,556
You think there's some other
word that will hurt my feelings?

118
00:04:30,635 --> 00:04:32,933
Yeah. Think before
you talk shit.

119
00:04:33,013 --> 00:04:36,017
Rah-gubaba,
help me kill America!

120
00:04:36,099 --> 00:04:38,101
Mr. Beauregard!

121
00:04:38,185 --> 00:04:42,782
After due consideration,
I have elected not to retire.

122
00:04:42,856 --> 00:04:44,608
- Yeah!
- Oh, thank god!

123
00:04:44,691 --> 00:04:47,911
Now, I believe someone
has a final exam to attend.

124
00:04:47,986 --> 00:04:50,330
Set a course
for Marty's high school.

125
00:04:50,405 --> 00:04:52,783
Perhaps I'm biased, but if
that story never happened,

126
00:04:52,866 --> 00:04:55,619
then I wouldn't still be
the family butler.

127
00:04:55,702 --> 00:04:56,919
Dare to dream.

128
00:04:56,995 --> 00:04:57,996
Wait.

129
00:04:58,413 --> 00:05:00,336
And if Mr. Beauregard
wasn't our butler,

130
00:05:00,415 --> 00:05:03,794
it's safe to say the family'd be
in a hell of a lot of trouble.

131
00:05:03,877 --> 00:05:05,754
No! Don't flashback!

132
00:05:05,837 --> 00:05:07,214
You're just gonna make
more swelling.

133
00:05:07,297 --> 00:05:08,469
- Don't worry, Jerry.
- Just relax.

134
00:05:08,548 --> 00:05:09,640
We called the fire department.

135
00:05:09,716 --> 00:05:11,639
You know they won't
come here anymore.

136
00:05:15,180 --> 00:05:16,807
Marmalade is served.

137
00:05:16,890 --> 00:05:18,517
- Yeah!
- Yeah! Yeah!

138
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:19,943
Oh, whee!

139
00:05:20,018 --> 00:05:22,817
I guess I take back what I said
about British cuisine.

140
00:05:24,064 --> 00:05:25,111
Take that, Summer!

141
00:05:25,190 --> 00:05:26,783
We're trying to sleep.

142
00:05:26,858 --> 00:05:28,656
I don't want
to go to the dance alone.

143
00:05:28,735 --> 00:05:32,581
Then perhaps you shouldn't.

144
00:05:32,656 --> 00:05:34,579
Aww.
Mr. Beauregard.

145
00:05:34,658 --> 00:05:37,753
- Shall we, master Morty?
- We shall.

146
00:05:37,828 --> 00:05:39,796
Oh, wait,
don't leave without letting

147
00:05:39,871 --> 00:05:41,669
Photography Raptor
take a picture.

148
00:05:45,043 --> 00:05:47,091
Everybody stop remembering!

149
00:05:47,170 --> 00:05:48,843
These parasites
are like bed bugs,

150
00:05:48,922 --> 00:05:50,970
and every flashback
is another mattress. Look!

151
00:05:51,049 --> 00:05:53,598
There's only supposed to be
six people in this house.

152
00:05:53,677 --> 00:05:54,849
But there's always been 10.

153
00:05:54,928 --> 00:05:55,929
No!

154
00:05:56,513 --> 00:05:57,685
Uh, the fact
that I wrote this number down

155
00:05:57,764 --> 00:05:58,856
means that
there's four parasites.

156
00:05:58,932 --> 00:06:00,104
You sure about that, Rick?

157
00:06:00,183 --> 00:06:01,856
Begging your pardon,
master Rick,

158
00:06:01,935 --> 00:06:03,937
but I seem to recall
a great deal of confusion

159
00:06:04,020 --> 00:06:05,112
surrounding that number.

160
00:06:05,188 --> 00:06:06,565
All right, there's six of us.

161
00:06:06,648 --> 00:06:07,820
And that's it.

162
00:06:07,899 --> 00:06:10,527
Me, Morty, Jerry,
Beth, Mr. Poopybutthole,

163
00:06:10,610 --> 00:06:12,829
Frankenstein, Sleepy Gary,
Photography Raptor,

164
00:06:12,904 --> 00:06:14,201
Mr. Beauregard, and Summer.

165
00:06:14,281 --> 00:06:16,079
Uh, dad, that's like 10 people.

166
00:06:16,157 --> 00:06:18,034
6, 10, what's the difference?

167
00:06:18,118 --> 00:06:20,621
I just love the number 6
for no reason!

168
00:06:20,704 --> 00:06:21,876
Where's my pencil at?

169
00:06:21,955 --> 00:06:23,252
Here, Rick!
Use me!

170
00:06:23,331 --> 00:06:25,049
Oh, thanks, Pencilvester!

171
00:06:25,125 --> 00:06:27,173
Yeah, I-I g—
I guess that is what happened,

172
00:06:27,252 --> 00:06:29,129
but I-I don't get
why I would do that.

173
00:06:29,212 --> 00:06:30,885
Everybody makes mistakes, Rick.

174
00:06:30,964 --> 00:06:32,887
Why do you think
I have one of these?

175
00:06:35,010 --> 00:06:36,307
That's it.
Photos.

176
00:06:36,386 --> 00:06:37,933
Hard evidence.

177
00:06:38,013 --> 00:06:40,732
You're not in any of my photos,
Mr. Poopybutthole.

178
00:06:40,807 --> 00:06:42,559
Well, what do you know
about this?

179
00:06:42,642 --> 00:06:45,020
You're not in any of mine.

180
00:06:45,103 --> 00:06:49,153
All I have are pictures of me
and my friends from school.

181
00:06:49,232 --> 00:06:51,781
What? What teenage girl
has pictures of her family?

182
00:06:51,860 --> 00:06:53,703
It's not like we're
Mormon or dying.

183
00:06:53,778 --> 00:06:56,827
I will admit it's suspicious
that Summer's only friend

184
00:06:56,907 --> 00:06:59,706
is a magic ballerina lamb
that we've never seen.

185
00:06:59,784 --> 00:07:00,785
Summer!

186
00:07:01,244 --> 00:07:02,245
Tinkles!

187
00:07:02,996 --> 00:07:05,044
It's past my bedtime.

188
00:07:05,123 --> 00:07:07,125
Not in Never Past Bedtime Land!

189
00:07:07,208 --> 00:07:09,051
Here we go!

190
00:07:28,897 --> 00:07:30,695
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

191
00:07:32,984 --> 00:07:34,827
- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
- Summer, we're trying to sleep.

192
00:07:34,903 --> 00:07:36,405
It was Tinkles!

193
00:07:36,488 --> 00:07:37,489
Tinkles?

194
00:07:37,906 --> 00:07:39,203
That is su— —
Suspicious.

195
00:07:39,282 --> 00:07:41,205
We're always hearing about
this Tinkles character,

196
00:07:41,284 --> 00:07:42,911
- But we never get to —
- Hi, everybody.

197
00:07:42,994 --> 00:07:45,088
I'm Tinkles,
and these are my friends.

198
00:07:46,331 --> 00:07:47,924
See, everyone?
Tinkles is real.

199
00:07:47,999 --> 00:07:49,251
That means so am I.

200
00:07:49,334 --> 00:07:51,462
- Sorry, Summer.
- Man, I'm sorry, Summer.

201
00:07:51,544 --> 00:07:54,172
I was on the wrong side
of the pitchfork on this one.

202
00:07:54,255 --> 00:07:56,974
Okay, look, we shouldn't need
evidence or logic

203
00:07:57,050 --> 00:07:59,052
to know who's family
and who isn't.

204
00:07:59,135 --> 00:08:00,853
I know who the Smiths are.

205
00:08:00,929 --> 00:08:02,931
I've known Beth
since High School.

206
00:08:03,014 --> 00:08:04,812
And her husband, sleepy Gary,

207
00:08:04,891 --> 00:08:07,019
is hands down
my absolute best friend.

208
00:08:07,102 --> 00:08:08,228
Thanks, Jerry.

209
00:08:08,311 --> 00:08:10,109
Beyond that,
no offense to any of you,

210
00:08:10,188 --> 00:08:11,531
but all bets are off.

211
00:08:11,606 --> 00:08:14,075
Look, I'm not used to being
this unsure for this long.

212
00:08:14,150 --> 00:08:15,527
I'm just gonna aim for shoulders
starting with the weird girl.

213
00:08:15,610 --> 00:08:16,611
Aah!

214
00:08:17,195 --> 00:08:18,993
- Grandpa Rick!
- Hold still, "Summer."

215
00:08:19,072 --> 00:08:21,245
Rick, that is my daughter.

216
00:08:21,324 --> 00:08:23,873
Oh, yeah? Well, what if you just
think that, sleepy Gary?

217
00:08:23,952 --> 00:08:26,171
I've known you for 15 years.
Don't make me hurt you.

218
00:08:26,246 --> 00:08:28,499
Rick, these are
our family and friends,

219
00:08:28,581 --> 00:08:30,333
the people we barbecue with.

220
00:08:30,417 --> 00:08:32,340
Have you forgotten the barbecue?

221
00:08:32,419 --> 00:08:33,841
Wait,
why would you want me to —

222
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:35,137
You're one of them, aren't you?

223
00:08:35,213 --> 00:08:38,137
Rick. You love
those barbecues, Rick.

224
00:08:38,216 --> 00:08:39,468
You love them.
Hail!

225
00:08:39,551 --> 00:08:40,928
Remember it, Rick?

226
00:08:41,011 --> 00:08:43,264
Shut up, Hamurai!
Shut up, Amish Cyborg!

227
00:08:43,346 --> 00:08:45,064
What is this?
'90s Conan?

228
00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:47,017
Remember the barbecue.

229
00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:48,317
Remember the barbecue.

230
00:08:48,393 --> 00:08:50,111
Remember the barbecue.

231
00:08:50,186 --> 00:08:52,280
You know what, Pencilvester?

232
00:08:52,355 --> 00:08:54,357
It took me my whole life
to realize it,

233
00:08:54,441 --> 00:08:56,034
but I love barbecuing.

234
00:08:56,109 --> 00:08:57,861
- You're good at it, Rick.
- Watch me, baby.

235
00:08:57,944 --> 00:08:59,912
I'm like Tom Cruise from,
um, "Cuisine"

236
00:08:59,988 --> 00:09:02,582
or w-whatever that movie's
called where he makes drinks.

237
00:09:02,657 --> 00:09:04,034
Yeah, check me out.

238
00:09:04,117 --> 00:09:05,619
I'm like Tom Cruise
from "Cuisine."

239
00:09:05,702 --> 00:09:07,045
Yeah.

240
00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:08,542
Is that what it's called?
"Cuisine"?

241
00:09:08,621 --> 00:09:10,089
Wow!
Hey, everybody

242
00:09:10,165 --> 00:09:12,338
Let's give it up
for the grillmaster Rick!

243
00:09:12,417 --> 00:09:13,589
Rick!
Rick! Rick!

244
00:09:17,589 --> 00:09:18,590
Wait.

245
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:22,761
Noooooo!

246
00:09:23,261 --> 00:09:24,353
Shoot. Now look.

247
00:09:24,429 --> 00:09:25,601
It's like
a "Where's Waldo?" page.

248
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:26,977
Can you find me?

249
00:09:27,057 --> 00:09:28,309
Check out
all these zany characters.

250
00:09:28,391 --> 00:09:30,268
We'll be right back
after these messages.

251
00:09:32,312 --> 00:09:34,155
I think
you should put down the gun

252
00:09:34,230 --> 00:09:35,698
and we should get you
to a doctor.

253
00:09:35,774 --> 00:09:37,572
What do you say we take down
these blast shields?

254
00:09:37,650 --> 00:09:39,118
- yeah.
- I can't do that, sleepy Gary.

255
00:09:39,194 --> 00:09:40,616
All right,
everybody listen to me.

256
00:09:40,695 --> 00:09:42,117
I don't know
if any of you guys are real,

257
00:09:42,197 --> 00:09:44,120
but this house has been infested
with fake loved ones

258
00:09:44,199 --> 00:09:45,746
that spread
through fake memories,

259
00:09:45,825 --> 00:09:47,577
and our planet will be destroyed
if they get out.

260
00:09:48,870 --> 00:09:50,713
But, Rick,
even you have to admit

261
00:09:50,789 --> 00:09:53,042
you do tend
to overreact to stuff.

262
00:09:53,124 --> 00:09:54,501
You guys, we got to hurry.

263
00:09:54,584 --> 00:09:56,052
I just got back from Walmart.

264
00:09:56,127 --> 00:09:58,755
They're selling Nintendo 3DS
systems for $149.99 on sale,

265
00:09:58,838 --> 00:10:01,136
plus every time you buy one,
you get a $50 gift card.

266
00:10:01,216 --> 00:10:03,514
Brings the total price down
to $110 after tax.

267
00:10:03,593 --> 00:10:05,687
Now, listen, we can flip
those sons of bitches

268
00:10:05,762 --> 00:10:07,059
for 230 bucks apiece easy!

269
00:10:07,138 --> 00:10:09,061
They're all limited-edition
"Zelda" ones.

270
00:10:09,140 --> 00:10:10,733
Hurry! Hurry!
Come with me!

271
00:10:10,809 --> 00:10:12,811
We can be rich,
and we also all get to keep one

272
00:10:12,894 --> 00:10:14,612
and we can play Nintendo games!

273
00:10:14,687 --> 00:10:16,781
Nintendo, give me free stuff.

274
00:10:16,856 --> 00:10:19,075
Okay, yes, I definitely
remember doing that,

275
00:10:19,150 --> 00:10:20,948
but also, I would never do that.

276
00:10:21,027 --> 00:10:22,574
Don't overreact, Rick.

277
00:10:22,654 --> 00:10:24,656
Sleepy Gary, a word?
Sure, Jerry.

278
00:10:24,739 --> 00:10:26,241
Rick, keep a level head, okay?

279
00:10:26,324 --> 00:10:28,998
'Cause I'll tell you a secret
about Frankenstein —

280
00:10:29,077 --> 00:10:33,207
He's actually
Frankenstein's monster.

281
00:10:34,916 --> 00:10:37,840
Sleepy Gary,
m-my head is filled

282
00:10:37,919 --> 00:10:39,216
with memories of our friendship.

283
00:10:39,295 --> 00:10:40,763
I'm convinced
that you're Beth's husband

284
00:10:40,839 --> 00:10:42,091
and I'm your friend,

285
00:10:42,173 --> 00:10:44,267
but if those memories
can't be trusted, then...

286
00:10:44,342 --> 00:10:45,719
Jerry, just say it.

287
00:10:45,802 --> 00:10:48,976
Sleepy Gary,
how do we know I'm real?

288
00:10:49,055 --> 00:10:50,978
Jesus, Jerry.

289
00:10:51,057 --> 00:10:52,479
No, you're real.

290
00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:53,856
Hey, look at me.

291
00:10:53,935 --> 00:10:55,528
Now, I don't know
which way is up out there,

292
00:10:55,603 --> 00:10:58,152
but I know us,
and you're real, Jerry.

293
00:10:58,231 --> 00:10:59,858
Remember our vacation?

294
00:11:02,485 --> 00:11:05,238
They're filming that new "Star
Wars" movie down the coast.

295
00:11:05,321 --> 00:11:06,413
Should we check it out?

296
00:11:06,489 --> 00:11:08,491
Sure. Why not?

297
00:11:15,498 --> 00:11:19,048
Maybe we'll see Chewbacca.

298
00:11:19,127 --> 00:11:21,255
I'd like that.

299
00:11:27,510 --> 00:11:30,184
What are we doing?

300
00:11:35,268 --> 00:11:37,737
I don't give a damn
what else happens out there.

301
00:11:37,812 --> 00:11:40,406
You and I
are going to survive this.

302
00:11:40,481 --> 00:11:41,482
Okay.

303
00:11:42,066 --> 00:11:43,443
Hey, we agreed.

304
00:11:43,526 --> 00:11:45,199
Never in the house.

305
00:11:47,322 --> 00:11:48,494
That's a cool watch there, Rick.

306
00:11:48,573 --> 00:11:49,620
Can I check it out?

307
00:11:49,699 --> 00:11:51,246
Uh, no thank —

308
00:11:51,326 --> 00:11:52,248
Okay.

309
00:11:52,327 --> 00:11:53,294
Trying to figure out

310
00:11:53,369 --> 00:11:54,416
how to lower
the blast shields, huh?

311
00:11:54,495 --> 00:11:56,372
Anybody here
think it's suspicious

312
00:11:56,456 --> 00:11:58,834
that a lot of people in here
can't wait to get out of here?

313
00:11:58,917 --> 00:12:02,342
Ah, you're paranoid, Rick.
You've been paranoid since 'Nam.

314
00:12:02,420 --> 00:12:03,922
So, what are you gonna do

315
00:12:04,005 --> 00:12:05,348
when you rotate back
to the world, Frankenstein?

316
00:12:05,423 --> 00:12:08,097
Shi-I-I-I-t.
I'mma bust a —

317
00:12:08,176 --> 00:12:11,146
No!
Get out of my head, parasite!

318
00:12:11,221 --> 00:12:12,063
- No!
- Drop it.

319
00:12:12,138 --> 00:12:13,230
Give me the gun, Frankenstein!

320
00:12:16,142 --> 00:12:17,314
Give it back!

321
00:12:17,393 --> 00:12:19,270
Yeah!

322
00:12:19,354 --> 00:12:20,355
Frankenstein!

323
00:12:21,147 --> 00:12:22,945
Is anyone here even real?

324
00:12:23,024 --> 00:12:24,571
Am I the only real person
on Earth?

325
00:12:24,651 --> 00:12:25,698
Maybe.

326
00:12:25,777 --> 00:12:28,530
Or maybe, just maybe,
we're all real.

327
00:12:28,613 --> 00:12:29,785
You know me.
I'm Reverse Giraffe.

328
00:12:29,864 --> 00:12:31,537
I have a short neck and legs.

329
00:12:31,616 --> 00:12:33,084
I went to college
with Hamurai. Hai!

330
00:12:33,159 --> 00:12:35,253
I saved Ghost In A Jar's
life in Vietnam.

331
00:12:35,328 --> 00:12:37,251
Boo rah!
And, Beth, how many times

332
00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:39,332
have I been a shoulder
for you to cry on?

333
00:12:39,415 --> 00:12:41,213
Too many.

334
00:12:41,292 --> 00:12:43,135
Okay,
so maybe we're just all fake.

335
00:12:43,211 --> 00:12:44,713
That don't make no sense!

336
00:12:44,796 --> 00:12:47,515
Or maybe there's only one
deceiver here —

337
00:12:47,590 --> 00:12:48,716
The person that keeps telling us

338
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,428
the path to salvation
is being held prisoner

339
00:12:51,511 --> 00:12:52,763
and mistrusting each other.

340
00:12:52,845 --> 00:12:53,971
Hey, don't blame me!

341
00:12:54,055 --> 00:12:55,352
I tried to shoot Summer
10 minutes ago!

342
00:12:55,431 --> 00:12:57,775
I know we all have
beloved memories of Rick,

343
00:12:57,850 --> 00:12:59,727
but are we really
supposed to believe

344
00:12:59,811 --> 00:13:02,485
that a mad scientist inventor
with a flying car

345
00:13:02,563 --> 00:13:06,033
just showed up on our doorstep
after being gone for years?

346
00:13:06,109 --> 00:13:07,531
Yeah, you know, he does have

347
00:13:07,610 --> 00:13:10,033
a lot of really weird,
made-up sounding catchphrases.

348
00:13:10,113 --> 00:13:11,535
Wubba lubba dub dub!

349
00:13:11,614 --> 00:13:13,833
Ricky ticky tavi, beyotch!

350
00:13:13,908 --> 00:13:16,957
And that's the wa-a-a-a-y
the news goes.

351
00:13:17,036 --> 00:13:18,162
Hit the sack, Jack.

352
00:13:18,246 --> 00:13:19,998
Uh-oh!
Somersault jump.

353
00:13:20,081 --> 00:13:21,082
AIDS!

354
00:13:21,499 --> 00:13:25,129
And that's why I always say
shum shum shlippedy dop!

355
00:13:25,211 --> 00:13:28,215
Grassss tastes bad-ah.

356
00:13:28,923 --> 00:13:30,345
No jumpin' in the sewer.

357
00:13:30,425 --> 00:13:31,551
Burger time!

358
00:13:31,634 --> 00:13:33,432
Rubber baby baby bunkers!

359
00:13:33,511 --> 00:13:35,434
Lick, lick, lick my bails!

360
00:13:35,513 --> 00:13:36,856
Yeah!

361
00:13:36,931 --> 00:13:38,148
Say that all the time.

362
00:13:39,517 --> 00:13:41,110
That's a fake-ass catchphrase
right there.

363
00:13:41,185 --> 00:13:43,358
Yeah, don't forget
his incredibly vague back story.

364
00:13:43,438 --> 00:13:44,985
Beth, I'm your father!

365
00:13:45,064 --> 00:13:46,236
Oh, are you, dad?
Are you?

366
00:13:46,316 --> 00:13:48,068
Rick, if you want
to prove you're real,

367
00:13:48,151 --> 00:13:50,279
just do what any of the rest
of us would do and —

368
00:13:50,361 --> 00:13:51,578
And — and open
the blast shields

369
00:13:51,654 --> 00:13:53,372
and let us the hell out of here!

370
00:13:53,448 --> 00:13:56,452
Why don't you make me,
implausibly naive pubescent boy

371
00:13:56,534 --> 00:13:59,037
with an old Jewish
comedy writer's name?

372
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,372
Ooh!
Ooh! Ooh!

373
00:14:00,455 --> 00:14:02,583
In your face!

374
00:14:02,665 --> 00:14:04,292
Give me the gun.

375
00:14:04,375 --> 00:14:07,424
I'm not doing this
in front of Pencilvester.

376
00:14:07,503 --> 00:14:09,221
Bring him to the garage.

377
00:14:10,673 --> 00:14:13,517
You listen to me, you
son of a bitch parasite scum.

378
00:14:13,593 --> 00:14:16,142
We could either do this
the easy way or the hard way.

379
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:17,392
You know, y-y-y—
Do you want to live?

380
00:14:17,472 --> 00:14:18,940
Then open
the blast shield doors.

381
00:14:19,015 --> 00:14:20,642
Shut up, Morty,
you brainwashed, little turd

382
00:14:20,725 --> 00:14:23,194
that might not even be real
because I'm brainwashed, too.

383
00:14:23,269 --> 00:14:24,987
You know, Rick,
this isn't easy for us.

384
00:14:25,063 --> 00:14:26,656
You know, w-we all remember
you as a friend.

385
00:14:26,731 --> 00:14:28,483
Oh, oh, Oh, really?

386
00:14:28,566 --> 00:14:30,364
Well, I remember you as a whiny,
little piece of shit, Morty!

387
00:14:30,443 --> 00:14:31,615
- Oh — oh, yeah?
- Yeah!

388
00:14:31,694 --> 00:14:33,412
I've got
about a thousand memories

389
00:14:33,488 --> 00:14:35,661
of your dumb, little ass and
about six of them are pleasant.

390
00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:37,492
The rest is annoying garbage.

391
00:14:37,575 --> 00:14:39,498
So why don't you do us both
a favor and pull the trigger?

392
00:14:39,577 --> 00:14:40,703
Do it!
Do it, motherfucker!

393
00:14:40,787 --> 00:14:43,711
Pull the fucking trigger!

394
00:14:44,749 --> 00:14:46,376
Oh, wow.

395
00:14:46,459 --> 00:14:48,302
Baby Wizard was a parasite?

396
00:14:48,378 --> 00:14:50,176
He set me up with my wife.

397
00:14:50,254 --> 00:14:52,097
What the hell?

398
00:14:52,173 --> 00:14:53,641
I figured it out, Rick!

399
00:14:53,716 --> 00:14:55,184
The parasites can only create
pleasant memories.

400
00:14:55,259 --> 00:14:56,476
I know you're real

401
00:14:56,552 --> 00:14:59,601
because I have a ton
of bad memories with you!

402
00:15:24,414 --> 00:15:26,587
Holy crap, Morty, you're right.

403
00:15:26,666 --> 00:15:28,668
Is — is — isn't that what you were trying
to make me understand by yelling at me?

404
00:15:28,751 --> 00:15:31,345
Well, yeah,
duh-doy.

405
00:15:31,421 --> 00:15:34,174
T-took you
long enough.

406
00:15:35,633 --> 00:15:37,260
Now let's go, Morty.

407
00:15:37,343 --> 00:15:39,437
We got a lot of friends
and family to exterminate.

408
00:15:42,849 --> 00:15:45,477
Everybody remain calm! This is
gonna take some explaining.

409
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:48,234
We need to kill everyone that
we can only remember fondly.

410
00:15:48,312 --> 00:15:50,406
Who's got a bad memory
about Mrs. Refrigerator?

411
00:15:50,481 --> 00:15:53,234
I-I-I-I — everyone has
bad memories of me.

412
00:15:53,317 --> 00:15:55,160
You remember that one time?

413
00:15:59,449 --> 00:16:02,248
Ooh, man,
we couldn't stop screaming.

414
00:16:02,326 --> 00:16:05,671
Uh, roller coasters aren't bad,
Mrs. Refrigerator.

415
00:16:05,746 --> 00:16:07,373
They're thrilling.

416
00:16:07,457 --> 00:16:10,802
And you've been a perfect
companion to me my entire life.

417
00:16:10,877 --> 00:16:12,254
The jig is up!

418
00:16:12,336 --> 00:16:13,838
Get me out of here.

419
00:16:13,921 --> 00:16:15,548
Get me out of here!

420
00:16:15,631 --> 00:16:17,258
Aah!

421
00:16:17,341 --> 00:16:18,809
Oh shit!

422
00:16:18,885 --> 00:16:20,683
Everybody back!
If you're not a parasite,

423
00:16:20,761 --> 00:16:22,729
you have nothing to fear.
So what about Summer?

424
00:16:22,805 --> 00:16:25,604
Why am I
always your go-to?

425
00:16:28,394 --> 00:16:30,772
- Never go in my room again.
- I didn't!

426
00:16:30,855 --> 00:16:31,777
She's real.

427
00:16:31,856 --> 00:16:33,529
She's my bitch of a sister.

428
00:16:34,442 --> 00:16:35,534
Nice.

429
00:16:38,988 --> 00:16:40,615
Mom,
are you driving me to —

430
00:16:40,698 --> 00:16:42,416
Hmm?
Yeah, yeah, yes. What time?

431
00:16:42,492 --> 00:16:43,789
Oh, my god.
Are you drunk?

432
00:16:43,868 --> 00:16:45,370
What are you?

433
00:16:45,453 --> 00:16:46,750
My wife coach?
- Your what?

434
00:16:46,829 --> 00:16:48,331
- Oh! God!
- Oh. Oh, my gosh.

435
00:16:48,414 --> 00:16:49,336
- Oh! God! Mom!
- Sweetheart, are you okay?

436
00:16:49,415 --> 00:16:50,587
I didn't mean to —

437
00:16:50,666 --> 00:16:52,839
I'm gonna have a bruise!
It's picture day!

438
00:16:52,919 --> 00:16:55,843
It's not — don't overreact.
I can clean it up.

439
00:16:55,922 --> 00:16:57,845
I want the police to take me!

440
00:16:57,924 --> 00:16:59,767
Morty, give a gun to the lady

441
00:16:59,842 --> 00:17:01,936
that got pregnant with me
too early

442
00:17:02,011 --> 00:17:04,309
and constantly makes it
our problem.

443
00:17:04,388 --> 00:17:06,061
Thank you, sweetie.

444
00:17:06,140 --> 00:17:07,062
Beth, Beth, please!

445
00:17:07,141 --> 00:17:08,188
I thought it was too
good to be true

446
00:17:08,267 --> 00:17:10,520
that we'd have
compatible kidneys.

447
00:17:24,992 --> 00:17:26,460
Come on, man.

448
00:17:26,536 --> 00:17:27,958
Haven't we ever had
an uncomfortable silence

449
00:17:28,037 --> 00:17:29,755
or an awkward fart
on a road trip?

450
00:17:29,830 --> 00:17:31,753
Come on, Pencilvester.
Give me anything.

451
00:17:31,832 --> 00:17:33,084
Rick, I'm Pencilvester.

452
00:17:33,167 --> 00:17:35,090
Listen to that name.
You can't kill me.

453
00:17:35,169 --> 00:17:37,171
You're right.

454
00:17:37,547 --> 00:17:39,549
Kill Pencilvester.

455
00:17:50,184 --> 00:17:51,902
Summer, I've always loved you!

456
00:17:51,978 --> 00:17:54,026
Yep.

457
00:18:09,537 --> 00:18:10,538
Oh, my god!

458
00:18:10,621 --> 00:18:12,248
I-I-I thought you went
to a concert!

459
00:18:12,331 --> 00:18:15,460
We forgot the tickets!
Why in the kitchen?

460
00:18:15,543 --> 00:18:17,341
I do it everywhere!
Stop shaming me!

461
00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:19,138
You're not the victim here!

462
00:18:19,213 --> 00:18:21,090
I hate you, and I was thinking
about your friend Grace!

463
00:18:21,173 --> 00:18:22,174
Aaaaaah!

464
00:18:27,888 --> 00:18:29,765
Ah. Master Rick.

465
00:18:29,849 --> 00:18:31,772
Remember when you weren't
going to shoot me?

466
00:18:33,227 --> 00:18:35,571
I guess /did the Butler!
Ha ha!

467
00:18:35,646 --> 00:18:37,489
Does —
D-does that scan?

468
00:18:37,565 --> 00:18:38,817
Oh,
I-I get it.

469
00:18:38,899 --> 00:18:40,901
It's a play
on "The Butler Did It."

470
00:18:40,985 --> 00:18:42,362
Thanks, Ghost In A Jar.

471
00:18:42,445 --> 00:18:45,540
You always were good at pointing
out potentially obscure comedy.

472
00:18:50,411 --> 00:18:52,379
You got to hide me, sleepy Gary.

473
00:18:52,455 --> 00:18:53,798
Don't worry.
I have a plan.

474
00:18:53,873 --> 00:18:55,546
If we can get to my boat,
there's a —

475
00:18:57,793 --> 00:18:58,919
No. No!

476
00:18:59,003 --> 00:19:02,883
Just send me to Gary.
I want to be with Gary.

477
00:19:02,965 --> 00:19:05,093
Oh, god.

478
00:19:05,176 --> 00:19:06,974
Whoa.
What the hell?

479
00:19:07,053 --> 00:19:08,430
Look out for that homeless guy!

480
00:19:08,512 --> 00:19:10,731
Open the door!
Open the door! Open the door!

481
00:19:10,806 --> 00:19:13,059
There isn't time!
Just run!

482
00:19:13,142 --> 00:19:14,735
Get out here and help me!

483
00:19:14,810 --> 00:19:17,484
They say you shouldn't do that!
Just run!

484
00:19:17,563 --> 00:19:20,362
Ugh. Sorry, Jerry.
You're real.

485
00:19:20,441 --> 00:19:22,569
I'm a parasite!

486
00:19:22,652 --> 00:19:24,746
Yeah, but you're real.

487
00:19:24,820 --> 00:19:28,791
Uh, uh, I need time
to forget about sleepy Gary.

488
00:19:28,866 --> 00:19:30,288
Me, too.

489
00:19:33,454 --> 00:19:35,377
From now on, let's all be careful

490
00:19:35,456 --> 00:19:37,834
to wash our hands when
we get back from outer space.

491
00:19:37,917 --> 00:19:39,464
That goes for everyone.

492
00:19:39,543 --> 00:19:40,760
This is depressing.

493
00:19:40,836 --> 00:19:42,804
We killed every good
person in the house.

494
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,803
We're what's left?
What a family.

495
00:19:44,882 --> 00:19:46,475
At least we're real, Jerry.

496
00:19:46,550 --> 00:19:48,223
We're real.
Ricky ticky tavi!

497
00:19:48,302 --> 00:19:50,805
Ooh, whee!
Amen to that.

498
00:19:50,888 --> 00:19:53,516
Now, this little Poopypants
is hungry.

499
00:19:53,599 --> 00:19:55,522
Will somebody
pass me a pork chop?

500
00:19:58,646 --> 00:19:59,772
Huh.

501
00:19:59,855 --> 00:20:01,732
I-is — is something wrong,
Beth?

502
00:20:01,816 --> 00:20:02,942
Ow!

503
00:20:03,025 --> 00:20:04,242
Oh, my god!

504
00:20:04,318 --> 00:20:05,444
No, Beth! Oh fuck!

505
00:20:05,528 --> 00:20:07,326
Wait, but I —

506
00:20:07,405 --> 00:20:08,577
- Oh, Beth! Why?
- I need an ambulance!

507
00:20:08,656 --> 00:20:10,249
There's been a shooting.
My wife shot...

508
00:20:10,324 --> 00:20:13,077
Uh, my — my wife shot
a long-time family friend.

509
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:14,161
Why?

510
00:20:14,495 --> 00:20:15,872
Oh, my god, oh, my god,
oh, my god, Mr. Poopybutthole.

511
00:20:15,955 --> 00:20:17,548
- I-I thought —
- Keep breathing!

512
00:20:17,623 --> 00:20:19,296
- Oh, god. What's happening?
- Look at me!

513
00:20:19,375 --> 00:20:20,843
Look at me!
Don't — don't fall asleep!

514
00:20:20,918 --> 00:20:22,886
Is — is this what
bleeding to death is?

515
00:20:22,962 --> 00:20:24,714
Oh, whee.
Is this how I die?

516
00:20:24,797 --> 00:20:25,889
Oh. geez!
Oh, my god!

517
00:20:25,965 --> 00:20:27,558
Why would you
do this? Beth.

518
00:20:27,633 --> 00:20:29,431
It's not supposed to hurt.

519
00:20:29,510 --> 00:20:30,306
- I-I thought...

520
00:20:30,386 --> 00:20:32,388
Ooh, whee.

521
00:21:09,258 --> 00:21:12,057
Oh, he — he's looking
a lot better.

522
00:21:12,136 --> 00:21:13,934
Listen, Beth, don't torture yourself.

523
00:21:14,013 --> 00:21:15,890
I made a similar mistake
years ago,

524
00:21:15,973 --> 00:21:18,351
but, you know,
on a planetary scale.

525
00:21:18,434 --> 00:21:19,902
Is, um, is he mad at me?

526
00:21:19,977 --> 00:21:21,775
He's not pressing charges.

527
00:21:21,854 --> 00:21:24,357
I mean, that's got to be
the "You shot me" equivalent

528
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,659
of not being mad.

529
00:21:26,734 --> 00:21:28,452
Can he have visitors?

530
00:21:28,527 --> 00:21:30,780
He'd like to be alone.

531
00:21:30,863 --> 00:21:33,833
He told me
to tell you he's sorry

532
00:21:33,908 --> 00:21:35,876
you didn't have bad
memories of him?

533
00:21:37,536 --> 00:21:40,756
If you love him,
you should leave.

534
00:21:44,710 --> 00:21:47,554
And that's the wa-a-a-a-y
the news goes.

535
00:21:49,131 --> 00:21:50,348
Did you get any of that?

536
00:21:50,424 --> 00:21:52,552
It's-a good show-a.

537
00:21:54,990 --> 00:22:00,990
Ripped By mstoll