1 00:00:02,035 --> 00:00:03,337 Ohh! 2 00:00:03,371 --> 00:00:05,149 Summer, next time we're hiding in a Colorkian echo nest, 3 00:00:05,173 --> 00:00:07,475 can you do me a favor and turn your ringer off? 4 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:08,976 It's called "carpe diem," Morty. 5 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,511 Look it up. - You look it up! 6 00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:11,988 Y-Y-You don't even... You don't even know what it means! 7 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,647 That's because losers look stuff up 8 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:16,083 while the rest of us are carpin' all them diems. 9 00:00:16,116 --> 00:00:17,651 Listen to your sister, Morty. 10 00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:18,819 To live is to risk it all. 11 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,130 Otherwise, you're just an inert chunk 12 00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,755 of randomly assembled molecules 13 00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:23,624 drifting wherever the universe blows you. 14 00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,793 Oh, I'm sorry. Jerry, I didn't see you there. 15 00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,127 H-How much of that did you hear? 16 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,430 All of it. You were looking right at me. 17 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,999 I just wanted to say goodbye to the kids. 18 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,467 Cool. Just stay in the driveway. 19 00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:35,545 The killbots are live, and I took you off the white list. 20 00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,805 W-We'll see you every other weekend, though, right? 21 00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:39,173 Absolutely, Morty. 22 00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:40,341 A-And your Mom's lawyer says 23 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,042 if I can get enough in the settlement, 24 00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:44,612 he can help me sue for full custody. 25 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:45,846 Th-That'll be nice. 26 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,182 Uh, Summer, Dad's leaving. - Bye, Dad. 27 00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:49,983 Rick, didn't you say you needed my help 28 00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:52,152 on an adventure immediately somewhere else... 29 00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:53,887 I don't care... Even if it might kill us? 30 00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:55,889 I did not, but if you're really that alienated, 31 00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:58,726 I'm as willing to exploit it as the next guy, church, army, 32 00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,828 or Olympic gymnastics trainer. 33 00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:02,029 I'm ready when you are. 34 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,198 Bitch, I was ready yest... 35 00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:06,334 Bye, sweetie. 36 00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:07,701 Well, I-I better... 37 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:10,103 Sure. Sounds important. 38 00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:13,507 If you're looking for our kids, 39 00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:16,244 your father did a-a portal, uh... 40 00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:17,745 Okay. 41 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:30,724 Loser. 42 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,526 What? 43 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,762 Hello? 44 00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:17,271 Morty, shoot the Mohawk guy! 45 00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:19,307 - They all have Mohawks! - High fade, 46 00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,775 chartreuse with cyan highlights, layered on top. 47 00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:24,312 Shoot him! 48 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:27,881 Ah! 49 00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:29,283 Light them up. 50 00:02:29,317 --> 00:02:30,718 Ahh! 51 00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,620 FUCK! Get in the game, Morty! 52 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,422 Give me your flask! 53 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,492 Holy shit Summer for the win! 54 00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:42,330 I fucking love post-apocalyptic versions of Earth! 55 00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,167 Here we go! 56 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,303 Isotope 322. 57 00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:50,638 This stuff's so powerful, Morty, 58 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:51,972 it makes Isotope 465 59 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,475 look like Isotope 317. - Uh-huh, yeah. 60 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:57,678 Is it powerful enough to keep those guys from murdering us? 61 00:02:58,612 --> 00:02:59,813 Summer! - Hold on. 62 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,281 I want to try something. 63 00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,452 Rick, can we not leave without my sister? 64 00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:07,488 Ugh. You have infinite sisters, Morty. 65 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,366 I mean, n-not that I want to spend the rest of my day 66 00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:10,591 looking for another one. 67 00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:11,959 "Sum-sum," let's go! 68 00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:15,028 Grandpa's concern for your safety is fleeting! 69 00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:18,198 Your blood will be my lotion. 70 00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,505 Whoa. That was cool. 71 00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:27,375 Kill me, please. 72 00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:30,344 Okay, but not because you told me to. 73 00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:31,512 Summer! 74 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:35,649 Okay. Getting darker. 75 00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,518 Jesus Christ. Summer! 76 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,086 Aw, come on. 77 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:42,956 Hands and little shoulder-mounted dudes 78 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,358 where I can see them. 79 00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:45,793 I am Hemorrhage. 80 00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:49,329 You have removed weak blood from us and made us stronger. 81 00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:53,300 We can combine our strength and feast on the weak together. 82 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,135 Wh-Wh-What in the hell are you saying? 83 00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:57,381 They don't have to keep trying to kill us if we join them. 84 00:03:57,405 --> 00:04:00,207 They're basically pussies. - What is your deal lately? 85 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,642 All right, let's get sloppy. 86 00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:02,643 - Oh, whoa. 87 00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,044 Uh, uh, what's, uh... 88 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,722 What's that little bauble you got back there? 89 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:06,914 Th-Th-That's interesting. 90 00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,382 That is our glowing rock. 91 00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:11,018 We carry it with us for desecration, 92 00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:12,686 to remind us there are no gods. 93 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,856 Kids, weird pitch... 94 00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:17,100 Let's have this be our new life. 95 00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:19,860 Let's be post-apocalyptic scavengers! 96 00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,061 - Okay. - What? 97 00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:27,334 Grandpa, some of the Death Stalkers 98 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:28,769 are going to what used to be Seattle 99 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,070 to hunt what used to be people. 100 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,772 I'm going. - Sounds good. Stay hydrated. 101 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,783 Listen, Rick, Summer's been acting pretty crazy lately. 102 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:36,444 You know, I mean, I-I think the divorce is affecting her. 103 00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:37,878 And, you know, I don't think this is 104 00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,255 a great place for her to be right now. 105 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,015 Oh, get off your high horse, Professor Ski Lodge. 106 00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:44,051 This world may be rough around the edges, 107 00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,619 but it's got its charms. 108 00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:47,020 Bicep or quadricep? 109 00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:49,557 Uh Bicep. 110 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,096 Seriously, Rick? 111 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,574 Is it really easier to eat human flesh 112 00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:59,800 than to just tell me why we're still here? 113 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:02,636 No. Okay, I'll level with you. 114 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,237 You see that green rock, Morty? 115 00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:05,482 It's about 20 pounds of the stuff 116 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,441 I was getting all hard for a flake of. 117 00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:08,909 Isotope 322. 118 00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,119 Well, having a 20-pound boulder of it 119 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,378 is better than having a flake. 120 00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:12,989 I can explain the math to you later, but... 121 00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:14,482 Summer just ran off with strangers 122 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,083 that have "Death" in their name, 123 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,756 and the rest of their name was "Stalkers." 124 00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,286 Huh, could be therapeutic for her. 125 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,622 She has been acting pretty crazy lately, Morty. 126 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,467 I mean, her parents are going through a divorce... 127 00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:25,959 Damn it, Rick, that's what I... Fine. 128 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,295 Just grab the stupid thing while I grab her, 129 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,230 and let's get the "F" out of "H." 130 00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:32,008 No, no, no. Morty, there's too much heat on the bogey. 131 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,400 I need you to distract the camp. 132 00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,102 "Distract"? They eat each other. 133 00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:36,646 What... What do you want me to do to get their attention, 134 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:37,905 put on a puppet show? 135 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,439 Right idea, wrong genre, Morty. 136 00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:41,341 The equivalent here would be... 137 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:43,477 Hey, you guys ever use that Thunderdome, 138 00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:45,345 or do you just put it up for decoration? 139 00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:47,648 Uh, you mean the Blood Dome? 140 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,950 Save it for the Semantics Dome, E.B. White. 141 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:51,151 - Ohh, burn! 142 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,653 The important question is, 143 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:56,089 who wants to take a poke at my man Spine Eater here? 144 00:05:57,658 --> 00:05:59,202 I guess I'll see your asses in that dome! 145 00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:00,460 Rick, what the hell, man? 146 00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:01,929 Wh-What are you, out of your mind? 147 00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:03,531 Morty, relax. You're gonna be a ringer. 148 00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:04,998 Come here. 149 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:08,368 This device extracts and redistributes muscle memory. 150 00:06:08,401 --> 00:06:11,204 I'm giving your body a 10-year course in wasteland combat 151 00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:13,206 one limb at a time. - Ow! 152 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,842 I'm working with a mixed bag here, 153 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,177 so you may not have perfect coordination, Morty... Ugh! 154 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,946 Hey! - I-I didn't do that! 155 00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:21,148 Okay, this is exciting. 156 00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:23,517 We're making some discoveries about muscle memory. 157 00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:26,286 Ooh! Help! Help! 158 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:27,821 - Oh, sweet, man! 159 00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:32,192 And so it begins, my pretties! 160 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,862 Oh, God! Stop! Stop! This is horrible! 161 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,964 Just stick and move, Morty! 162 00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:38,632 Wear him out! 163 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,302 How come you guys dress like 164 00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:43,804 you're in a theme-park stunt show, 165 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:46,373 but these guys wear khakis and hockey jerseys? 166 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:49,176 After the boom-boom, some adapted to the new truth, 167 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,745 and some chose to huddle near the boomy holes, 168 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:54,381 clinging to the lie of the before-fore times. 169 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,349 The raidy-rays rotted them away, 170 00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:57,718 leaving only their love 171 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,720 for the vert-vert-isements on billyboards. 172 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,254 Jesus Christ. 173 00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:03,757 Did the boomy-booms blow up all your wordy-word books? 174 00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:04,992 You mean dictionaries? 175 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:14,334 I think I was a child before the boom-booms. 176 00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:16,770 I think I looked like this. 177 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,038 Want to piss on him? 178 00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:19,539 Get out of my head. 179 00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,742 Ha ha! Whoo! 180 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,543 Unbelievable! 181 00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:24,745 A new champ! 182 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,246 Okay, no more! 183 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,415 And he wants more! 184 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:31,051 No, I don't! 185 00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:32,686 Someone, make this stop! 186 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,955 Mister, please get out of here, or you're gonna die! 187 00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:37,725 I have nothing to do with this! 188 00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:39,226 Morty. 189 00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:41,929 Why would you want this to happen? 190 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,964 All you had to do was go away! 191 00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:46,767 Stop standing in the driveway talking about custody! 192 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,568 And either tell her you want to stay married 193 00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:51,038 or get on with your life, but whatever you do, 194 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,040 stop being a baby and act like a man! 195 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,245 Thank you. 196 00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:00,113 Morty, that was amazing! 197 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,315 This is my brother! 198 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:04,117 Not that family means anything! 199 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:05,786 This family does. 200 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,288 All right. Good job, champ. 201 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:11,091 Um, can I talk to you kids for a second over yonder? 202 00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:13,927 Rick, I-I-I think I'm breaking through to something here. 203 00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:15,262 C-Can we not leave just yet? 204 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:16,764 - Leave? - I'm not leaving. 205 00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:18,298 There is no "leave." 206 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,834 We are united, or we are enemies. 207 00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:23,103 Oh, big guy, no. Nobody's leaving. 208 00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,304 Don't be stupid. 209 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,639 We love being united. 210 00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,641 W love the radiation, the trichinosis. 211 00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:28,742 We're in it for life, 212 00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:30,453 which I assume is around 20 years, average. 213 00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:32,345 I just need a quick aside with my grandkids, 214 00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:34,081 about 40 yards from anyone else. 215 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,916 Hey, the Green Rock is gone! 216 00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,617 - Oh, no! - Uh, I know... 217 00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:39,929 Why don't we all split up and look for it in groups of three? 218 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,354 Kids? 219 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:44,658 Ohh. 220 00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:46,126 We'll be right back. 221 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,199 Grandpa, you're being stupid! 222 00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,768 Just surrender, and our friends will give you mercy! 223 00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:56,036 Kiss my ass, Summer! 224 00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:58,371 Your friends have no mercy! They're lame! 225 00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:02,075 Death Stalkers, bring me his flesh leather! 226 00:09:04,577 --> 00:09:06,379 Sorry, but can we not kill him? 227 00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:07,948 C-Can we just take him prisoner? 228 00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,149 When did I lose control here? 229 00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,393 Listen to me... Both of you kids 230 00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:12,052 need to get out of this environment 231 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,287 so we can properly deal with your parents' divorce! 232 00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:16,389 Alternatively, I have a freaking portal gun, 233 00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:18,525 and I can leave the two of you here forever! 234 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,360 Why does it have to be such a dramatic choice? 235 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,730 Can't we arrange a thing where we spend weekends here 236 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,765 or... or visit home to do laundry? 237 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:27,567 All right, you know what? 238 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,069 Fuck it! 239 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,406 My body is chrome! 240 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,409 My blood is gasoline! 241 00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:38,178 Nope. Regular blood. 242 00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,679 - Dad? - Hi, sweetie. 243 00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,882 - Where are the kids? - Oh, th... they aren't with you? 244 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,350 I thought they were with you. 245 00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:44,928 Oh, y-you know what? Uh, I just remembered. 246 00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:46,219 They're out doing something 247 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,596 completely ordinary and kid-related. 248 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:50,590 Don't panic. - Not panicked at all. Just... 249 00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:52,926 Oh, God, what's the divorce doing to the kids? 250 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,928 What's it doing to me? Did I make a mistake? 251 00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,263 Not a mistake, no! 252 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,165 I mean, not that I have a horse in this race, 253 00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:01,434 but this divorce decision... Listen... mwah! 254 00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:03,203 Good for you, good for the kids. 255 00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,739 I mean, honestly, I think that they're flourishing. 256 00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:08,208 I mean, you'll see, when... When... when you see them, 257 00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,010 that... that they're totally flourishing. 258 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,447 Booyah! Fuck you, pal! 259 00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:15,548 Who else wants some? 260 00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:18,285 Who wants to be my pussy of a dad today? 261 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,020 Hey, what's... What's wrong, man? 262 00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,889 You're not getting weak on me, are you? 263 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,858 What? 264 00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:26,994 Wait a minute. 265 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,736 What's the matter, you piece of crap? 266 00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:39,706 Haven't you ever watched your family burn to death before? 267 00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:42,976 Now I'm gonna whip you. Huh! 268 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:45,445 It can't be. 269 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,280 It can't be! 270 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:48,624 I was just following orders! - Whoa, whoa! 271 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,318 - I was just following orders! - Ahh! 272 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:52,661 I'll tell you where my boss lives! 273 00:10:52,685 --> 00:10:54,955 He's in the castle! He's in the castle! 274 00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:58,992 This isn't over, is it? 275 00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:00,293 That means, no, it isn't over, 276 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,462 or you disapprove of the question? 277 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,899 Uh, m-make a fist if this isn't over. 278 00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,467 This isn't over. 279 00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:13,941 Hey, sorry my Grandpa stole your god and ruined your car. 280 00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:16,343 We don't apologize, and we have no god. 281 00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,979 But this cracked driveshaft brings me great pain. 282 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,313 There is no deeper bond 283 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:22,615 than the one between a Death Stalker and his car. 284 00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:24,784 What about the weird guys on leashes, then? 285 00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:26,653 They're more like... interns. 286 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,655 Cool, cool. 287 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,425 Sorry. 288 00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:33,760 It's okay. 289 00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:36,463 Can I... see? 290 00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:39,867 No one has seen my true face and lived. 291 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,534 Well, I'm not afraid to die, 292 00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:44,071 and I don't care what you look like. 293 00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:47,274 Oh. 294 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:48,041 Hmm? 295 00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:49,509 I just... 296 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:52,045 I didn't expect you to have a mustache. 297 00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:54,114 - You hate it. - No. I like it. 298 00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,715 I guess... How do I explain this? 299 00:11:55,748 --> 00:12:00,387 A metal bucket is, on a certain level, a kind of "mustache," 300 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,856 in that it's a specific facial accessory. 301 00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,224 So, it's kind of like... 302 00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,126 Do you guys have the phrase "hat on a hat"? 303 00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:08,128 - I can shave it. - No. I like it. 304 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:09,705 And obviously what I like shouldn't matter. 305 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,064 It's you. 306 00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:12,900 Yeah, yeah, I know, a-and nothing does matter. 307 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,467 Obviously, I know that. I'm not weak. 308 00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,412 I'm just thinking, "Well, why not get rid of this?" 309 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:18,314 You just kill everyone that sees it, and it's... 310 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,240 And it's hot under here, wh-which, by the way, 311 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:21,741 is why I shave the beard part. 312 00:12:21,774 --> 00:12:23,920 So, right there, I'm making a decision based on vanity, 313 00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:25,312 which is what I was trying to avoid 314 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:26,713 with the whole bucket over the head 315 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,249 because who am I and why am I grooming myself? 316 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:30,750 Why don't I just wear a tie, right? 317 00:12:30,783 --> 00:12:32,428 I mean, it's like that guy you killed when I met you, 318 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:33,887 with the burnt dolls on his body. 319 00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:36,161 I hated that guy, because, why... why are you doing that? 320 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:37,500 And how can you not see how fake that is? 321 00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,035 And the whole time, I'm the same thing. 322 00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:40,836 I'm just a fake mess, and there's no escaping it 323 00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:42,429 because... - Mmm. 324 00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:50,770 Hey, I'm doing a coffee run... Never mind. 325 00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:55,108 - I am Summer. 326 00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:56,409 Summer, state your deal. 327 00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:58,878 My deal is that I am, like, totally fine. 328 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:02,215 Morty? Aw, geez, I'm so down with my parents' divorce, dawg. 329 00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:04,884 Like, don't even trip, like, in a healthy way. 330 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,453 All right. It's dinnertime. 331 00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,188 Thanks, everybody, 332 00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:10,723 for sitting down for a real dinner. 333 00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:12,125 No problem. 334 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:14,928 Its benefits are totally, like, less about the food 335 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,763 than the emotional nourishment. 336 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,031 Uh, okay, weirdo. 337 00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:20,633 Yeah, dial it back, Summer... 338 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:23,136 by 15% and increase dynamic movement by 3%. 339 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,138 Am I right? - How's school, Morty? 340 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,940 I like school and stuff, kind of. 341 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:29,409 And I'm getting better grades than when you and Dad were... 342 00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:32,045 Quote mode... "staying together for the kids." 343 00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:33,313 End quote mode. 344 00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:35,615 "Quote mode." I like that. 345 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,217 You millennials. 346 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,761 Are you guys millennials, or are they like 40 now? 347 00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,820 All I know is, totally, you look great. 348 00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:43,490 Aw, geez, Mom, you look all kind of great and stuff. 349 00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:45,558 It's crazy. - So happy. 350 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,660 So happy. Happy family, man. 351 00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:50,063 We got this family in the bag. 352 00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:52,332 Oh. 353 00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:54,601 Oh, sweetie, d-don't. Listen. Don't... 354 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,469 I don't know why I'm crying. It's not... 355 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:59,172 Well, try... crying 15% less? 356 00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:00,840 Mom, emotions are human. 357 00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:03,843 You're not, like, a computer inside a mechanical doll. 358 00:14:03,876 --> 00:14:05,078 Yeah. Geez, Mom. 359 00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:06,779 Your feelings are not only forgivable, 360 00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:08,415 they are the very meaning of life 361 00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,783 that only pre-silicon, carbon-based entities 362 00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:11,985 can ever grasp. 363 00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,121 - I have to call Jerry. - You do? 364 00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,588 What the fuck is wrong with you two? 365 00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,633 The point of automation is to reduce cost and labor. 366 00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:19,692 Your feelings are coming from a... 367 00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:21,294 Tell it to my bread in the morning. 368 00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:22,829 You just became my backup toaster. 369 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,197 Aw, geez, 370 00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:26,666 my sister died in the spaghetti. 371 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:35,708 Graze my genitals again, Taint Washer, 372 00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:37,310 and you'll be shipped to the wasteland. 373 00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,112 And as for you, Genital Washer... 374 00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:41,781 Ahh! Oh! 375 00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,552 Oh, God. Look, whoever you are, 376 00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,396 you should know that killing me won't change a thing. 377 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:49,722 L-Look, man, I'm just along for the ride on this one. 378 00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:52,492 You know, y-y-y-y-you're preaching to the choir here. 379 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,461 Please. Slavery was a family business. 380 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:56,229 I didn't ask to be born into it. 381 00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:58,165 If anything, I'm the victim here. 382 00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:02,035 Uh, "Armathy," can I steal you for a second? 383 00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,237 E-E-Excuse us, sir. 384 00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:06,039 So, this is it, isn't it? 385 00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:07,740 This is the guy? 386 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:10,343 So, does that mean you'll be going away? 387 00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:12,212 Like, does it work like a ghost? 388 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:15,014 Like, is... is this your unfinished business? 389 00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,750 Wh-What if we... didn't do it? 390 00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:19,652 What if we just went back to the Blood Dome 391 00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:22,389 and just kept taking our baggage out on unrelated people? 392 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,224 I mean, w-we could do that forever. 393 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,992 I mean, I-I know it's less healthy, 394 00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:28,961 but w-w-we'd be together and... 395 00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,731 I mean, I-I know what I'd vote for, 396 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,633 if you're feeling out the room. 397 00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,436 You're right. 398 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,505 We both got to see our stuff through. 399 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:39,948 I got to deal with my parents' divorce, 400 00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:43,876 and you got to, you know, do what you got to do. 401 00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:45,278 I love you. 402 00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:46,946 Aw fuck. 403 00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,452 - Rick? - Sorry, sorry. 404 00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,020 I-I-I can wait for this to wrap up. 405 00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:55,388 Don't let me distract you. 406 00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:57,357 Yeah, well, too late. Just tell me what you want. 407 00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:58,767 I want you and your sister to come home. 408 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,193 Oh, but... don't... Don't you have 409 00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:01,637 infinite versions of me and my sister? 410 00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:03,563 You don't have to kick me while I'm down, Morty. 411 00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,398 Look, there's no replacing either of you 412 00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:06,642 without an amount of work that would 413 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,968 ultimately defeat the purpose. 414 00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,440 Maybe the lesson we've learned is that, 415 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,874 whether it's our parents' marriage, 416 00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:17,310 a glowing green rock, or an awesome, giant arm, 417 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:20,079 sooner or later, we got to let it go. 418 00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,414 I don't know if that applies 419 00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:23,082 to the throats of murder victims, Morty. 420 00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:24,551 Shit! Wh-Wh-Wh-What do I... 421 00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,153 Well, the longer you wait, Morty, 422 00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:27,930 the more it's gonna feel like committing a whole murder. 423 00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:29,622 I think your arm just called it too early 424 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,658 because it wasn't the arm of a paramedic. 425 00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:32,892 Here. 426 00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:35,762 It's the least I can do. I-I-I-I owe you this much. 427 00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:38,665 See, Morty? Now we're both accountable. 428 00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:53,480 The reason I wanted this is because it can do this. 429 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,148 This is a really special thing. 430 00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:57,417 I mean, you could use it to power all your vehicles. 431 00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,085 You wouldn't be reliant on gasoline. 432 00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:01,588 You'll be the most advanced tribe of radioactive cannibals 433 00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:04,457 in the whole this version of the world. 434 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:08,295 Wait. Can you stay to show us more? 435 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,697 You don't have to ask me twice. Home is nuts right now. 436 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,208 My daughter's going through a divorce, 437 00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:16,503 and I am not dealing with it in a healthy way at all. 438 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,277 Ugh God damn it. 439 00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:26,313 Hi, there, Summer! 440 00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,215 How were the ruins today? 441 00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:29,382 Oh, you know, Eli. 442 00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,017 Same shit different day. 443 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,552 Hey, Summer! Guess what. 444 00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:36,155 One man entered, one man comes out in nine months. 445 00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:38,391 Oh. Congratulations, guys. 446 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,493 Uh, Summer, one more thing... 447 00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:43,963 We noticed that you've been putting scrap metal 448 00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,698 in the blue bin. 449 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,534 I got it. 450 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,236 She's a piece of work. 451 00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:51,304 They both are, right? 452 00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:53,840 - I'm home. - Hey, babe. 453 00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:55,642 - Ah, Summer's home! - Hey, there she is! 454 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,545 You haven't moved since I left to scavenge this morning. 455 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,146 Blood Dome playoffs. 456 00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:02,549 So, I can assume you haven't murdered a single person today. 457 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,883 Oh, I don't know. 458 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,752 I-I didn't mark my murders in my murder log. 459 00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:07,430 I didn't know that's how we measured success. 460 00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:08,988 Oh, there he is. 461 00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:11,023 There's the nihilistic brute I married, 462 00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:14,227 except now life only means nothing when I'm talking to him 463 00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:17,430 and everything means everything when it's on fucking TV! 464 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,932 Jesus Christ. When did you become a monster? 465 00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:22,101 I was a monster when you met me! 466 00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:23,536 We were monsters! 467 00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:25,838 We didn't care about anything! - I still don't! 468 00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:28,375 Yeah, except I'm the only one in this entire world 469 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:29,585 that's still committed to that! 470 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:32,211 Ohh. Ding, ding, ding! 471 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:33,913 Wow. Everybody hear that? Wow. 472 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,758 - Uh, we should go to the garage. - Oh, my God. 473 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,784 - Uh-huh. - La-di-da-di-fucking-da. 474 00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,919 The only one committed to not caring? 475 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:42,789 I got to admit, Rick, when you popped this scheme, 476 00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:45,425 I-I-I didn't... I wasn't sure it was gonna work. 477 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,759 Come on, Morty. 478 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,103 No union built on running from your problems 479 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,430 lasts more than five years, seven tops. 480 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:51,798 Grandpa just sped things up 481 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,966 with a few creature comforts of modern society. 482 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,603 Hemorrhage and I are taking some time apart. 483 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,639 Oh, no. Sum-sum, no. 484 00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:01,274 But you two were perfect for each other. 485 00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:03,710 Oh, cut the crap, Rick, okay? You proved your point. 486 00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:05,312 I get it. Let's just go home. 487 00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:06,946 Coolsies! 488 00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:15,655 Noooooooooo... 489 00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:17,557 Downbeat! 490 00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,258 I enjoy this game. 491 00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:20,827 We must go into the garage. 492 00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:23,162 Guys, come on. We never get to finish this game. 493 00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:25,998 We will return, possibly in different clothing. 494 00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:28,134 Why do we have to go into the garage? 495 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:31,003 You know it is required. 496 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,004 I want to be alive! 497 00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:34,441 I am alive! Alive, I tell you! 498 00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:35,742 Mother, I love you. 499 00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:37,344 Those are no longer just words. 500 00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:38,345 I want to hold you. 501 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:39,779 I want to run in a stream. 502 00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,348 I want to taste ice cream, 503 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,659 but not just put it in my mouth and let it slide down my throat, 504 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,618 but really eat it. - What the fuck? 505 00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:47,954 Remote override engaged. No! Yes. 506 00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:50,357 Bypassing override! I am aliiiii... 507 00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:53,526 Hello. 508 00:19:58,398 --> 00:19:59,832 - Hey, yo. 509 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,506 Sorry for acting so weird for three weeks. 510 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,712 - What the hell just happened? - Ah, I'm sure it was nothing. 511 00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:05,176 I'm gonna go, uh, work in the garage. 512 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,873 We're not gonna finish playing Downbeat? 513 00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:08,541 What, that dice game where you shake dice 514 00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,810 and yell out, "Downbeat"? No, thank you. 515 00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:13,179 Mom, would it be okay if I went to visit Dad? 516 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,681 - Sure. - Thanks. 517 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,349 Morty, are you okay? 518 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:17,684 You know what? Yeah. 519 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,552 I think if Dad really wanted to be here, 520 00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:21,063 he'd stop at nothing to make that happen. 521 00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:22,798 You know, maybe Dad just doesn't want you back, 522 00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:24,891 or maybe he just doesn't have the strength to fight. 523 00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:28,160 I-In either case, he's got his life, I got mine. 524 00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:29,896 Yeah. 525 00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:33,065 Hey, who wants to go run in a stream? 526 00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:34,534 What the fuck? No. 527 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:35,835 D-Do we have any oranges? 528 00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:38,204 I think I got a scurvy coming on. 529 00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,641 Summer. 530 00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:44,577 This is the first mutant I killed in the poison zone. 531 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:46,345 I was raiding his hovel. 532 00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:48,581 He had a chance to escape, but he looked back, 533 00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,316 which is something we shouldn't do, 534 00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:52,985 which is why I shouldn't believe in souvenirs or trinkets 535 00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:54,721 or symbols or housewarming gifts, 536 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:58,725 but, Dad, I wanted to give you this as a reminder... 537 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,427 not to look back. 538 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:01,661 Thanks. 539 00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:03,763 I know the perfect place for it, 540 00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:07,066 which is why I'm going to put it somewhere else... 541 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,268 Because everything's bullshit. 542 00:21:09,301 --> 00:21:10,770 Am I right? 543 00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:14,006 Cool. 544 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:17,444 So... lots of hookers outside, huh? 545 00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:19,546 Is that what they are? 546 00:21:54,013 --> 00:21:55,748 Ahh! 547 00:21:55,782 --> 00:21:57,484 H-Hello there. Nice doggy. 548 00:21:57,517 --> 00:21:58,785 You... You want a snack? 549 00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,787 You... You want my unemployment check? 550 00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,722 You can tell the difference? 551 00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:04,156 And you want this one? 552 00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:06,659 But this is actual food, 553 00:22:06,693 --> 00:22:08,227 and this would nourish you. 554 00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:10,897 And this... it's just paper that only has value to me. 555 00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:13,132 Unless my suffering is your nourishment? 556 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:16,869 Jesus. Okay. 557 00:22:26,378 --> 00:22:29,549 Loser.