1 00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:04,071 Don't let any of those things get away, Morty. 2 00:00:04,104 --> 00:00:05,072 It their DNA gets into Earth's food chain, 3 00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:06,940 our entire species could be sterilized. 4 00:00:06,974 --> 00:00:08,409 Then why aren't we killing them? 5 00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:09,919 Right, next time I need a species sterilized, 6 00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:11,479 who's gonna do it for me, you? 7 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,080 Whoa! Rick! 8 00:00:13,113 --> 00:00:14,582 I-Is that the Vindibeacon? 9 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,950 We're being called to assemble by the Vindicators! 10 00:00:16,984 --> 00:00:18,928 I refuse to answer a literal call to adventure, Morty. 11 00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,654 Let it go to voice mail. Rick, 12 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:23,324 the Vindicators only call when the universe itself is at stake. 13 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,968 They're the first line of defense against evil. 14 00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:26,594 They're the guardians of the unguarded! 15 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,438 They're the writers of their own press releases, Morty. 16 00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:30,964 They're a bunch of drama queens that spend an hour talking 17 00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:32,966 and 20 minutes jumping around while shit blows up. 18 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,635 They're a phase. 19 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:37,171 We did one, it was the big even of that summer, let it die. 20 00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:39,340 I, Morty Smith, invoke my right 21 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,942 to choose one in every 10 Rick and Morty adventures. 22 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:43,977 God fucking damn it! Read 'em and weep. 23 00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:46,314 Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you. 24 00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:49,783 Yes! Vindicator Command Ship... Beacon received. 25 00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:52,953 We're doing Vindicators Twoooooo! 26 00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:54,455 Whoops. 27 00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:57,325 Uh, Morty, you might want to freeze some sperm. 28 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,358 Vindicators. 29 00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:31,692 Worldender is back, 30 00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:34,194 and this time he's out to end more than worlds. 31 00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:36,830 We have reason to believe his stronghold is located on... 32 00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:37,865 My balls. Rick! 33 00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:39,567 the Terraneous system. 34 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,337 Once in range, Million Ants will scan for pheromone activity 35 00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:45,506 which should lead us to the location of the base. 36 00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:47,575 Oh, that's Million Ants. 37 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,677 I can't see the ants from over here, 38 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:50,854 I just assumed that was, uh, turd man, 39 00:01:50,878 --> 00:01:52,746 wiggly turd man. 40 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,349 Rick, stop! Rick, you have something to add to the briefing? 41 00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:57,851 Uh, yeah, just a few more design notes... 42 00:01:57,885 --> 00:02:00,588 Um, this guy, the, uh... the, uh... 43 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,055 I am Crocubot. 44 00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:04,191 Right, Crocubot. 45 00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:07,060 So, you're half cold, unfeeling reptile, half... 46 00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:08,596 also cold... 47 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,698 equally unfeeling machine. Yes. 48 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,232 Wow. So, your origin is what? 49 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:14,702 Y-You fell into a vat of redundancy? 50 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,604 Got damn! 51 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,372 Noob Noob, we're having a briefing. 52 00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:19,873 If I can continue, Rick. 53 00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:22,209 I anticipate sophisticated security measures. 54 00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:24,244 I trust you can be of service there. 55 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,447 Well, let me check my list of powers and weaknesses. 56 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,916 Ability to do anything... But only whenever I want... 57 00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:30,751 Yeah, that sounds like a job for me. 58 00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:33,387 I wish he had the ability to check his attitude. 59 00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:35,055 Alan Rails, ladies and gentlemen. 60 00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,566 After his parents tragic death in a railroad accident, 61 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,759 he gained the power to summon ghost trains. 62 00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:40,728 It's not all bad though, 63 00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:43,106 they were spared having to see their grown son wear a WHISTLE. 64 00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:45,065 Got damn! 65 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,600 Thanks, Noob Noob. This guy gets it. 66 00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:52,440 Vance Maximus, Renegade Star Soldier... 67 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,108 Sorry I'm late. It was happy hour. 68 00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:57,411 Happy hour. 69 00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:59,747 Uh, I was also late because of my drinking 70 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,281 and mentioned it to zero applause. 71 00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,751 Rick Sanchez. Tinkerer of Terror. 72 00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:04,818 Man, that's hard to say. 73 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,920 And... Morty, right? 74 00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:08,756 Whoa, yeah! I never forget a kid. 75 00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:11,291 What do you say, Vindicators, let's make this three for three? 76 00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:12,259 - Haha! - Yes! 77 00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:14,094 Did he say "three for three"? 78 00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:15,929 Did he say he never forgets a kid? 79 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,631 You mean two for two, right, Vance? 80 00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:23,303 Actually, we assembled a second time last summer 81 00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,138 to fight Doomnomitron. 82 00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:27,941 So this is... Vindicators Three? 83 00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:32,780 And you guys did Vindicators Two... without us? 84 00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:35,516 I sense... insecurity. 85 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,685 Are you sure there's not just a picnic nearby? 86 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:40,621 I guess he found his crowd. 87 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:42,723 Pretty toothless stuff, guys. 88 00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:47,961 I hope you're happy with the adventure so far, Morty. 89 00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:49,963 These guys are even lamer than last time. 90 00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:51,832 We weren't here last time, remember? 91 00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:53,967 They did a whole Vindicators without us. 92 00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,636 A bunch of them got killed, too. 93 00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:59,006 They lost Lady Katana, Calypso, Diablo Verde... 94 00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:01,709 Yikes. Yeah, things did feel less diverse in there. 95 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:05,045 This article says the reason we weren't involved was... 96 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,213 "personality conflicts." 97 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,348 Don't worry, Morty, they love you. 98 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:10,217 Superheroes need a wide-eyed unremarkable 99 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,652 to tag along and react to everything 100 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,186 like it's mind blowing. 101 00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:16,557 I... think the personality conflict might have been... 102 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:17,991 you? 103 00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:20,528 Jesus... 104 00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:22,062 How awesome is that? 105 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,540 I mean, they wanted to not need me so bad 106 00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:25,365 they murdered three innocent heroes of color 107 00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:27,167 and they still had to bring me back? 108 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,902 Rick, since it's my adventure and all, 109 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,504 could you do me a favor? 110 00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:33,240 Uh, the adventure is the favor, Morty. 111 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,375 Me sleeping on these linens is the favor. 112 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:38,211 I mean, w-w-what... what are we vindicating? Comfort? 113 00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:39,847 Rick, this really bums me out. 114 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,516 It-It's embarrassing to find out these guys don't like us. 115 00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:44,251 Why? Morty I defeat gagoos 116 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,353 more powerful than these guys every week. 117 00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:47,855 Yeah, but not heroes. 118 00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:50,357 Oh, please, they just call themselves heroes so they can... 119 00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:54,061 I'm calling them that, Rick! They're my heroes. Mine! 120 00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:59,032 Huh, no accounting for taste. 121 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:00,768 I'm gonna go get a drink. 122 00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:10,277 Good morning, Vindicators. 123 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,446 Ship has arrived at Terraneous system. 124 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:16,049 All Vindicators report to the... briefing room. 125 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,418 The... The room from the, uh... the... 126 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,096 Uh, it's the d... it's a different room than... 127 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,722 than conference room. 128 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:24,458 I'm sorry, it's my first day as a PA System. 129 00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:27,094 First-day jitters. 130 00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:30,898 Oh, God. 131 00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:33,567 Good morning. Looks like your grandpa had a long night. 132 00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:36,269 Crocubot, why don't you escort Mr. Sanchez 133 00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:39,072 to a more comfortable spot so that someone can... 134 00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:41,575 clean up his diarrhea. 135 00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:44,578 Oooh, I'm nervous about my first mission! 136 00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:47,080 Actually, Noob Noob, you have a new mission. 137 00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:50,784 Got... damn. Vindicators, prepare for arrival. 138 00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:53,487 Morty, the Vindicators and I had a chat this morning, 139 00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:55,756 and I'm afraid we need to make a little change. 140 00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:58,959 I-I totally get it. I-I'm so sorry. 141 00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:00,260 You should be. 142 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,128 Running around in a yellow T-shirt 143 00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,329 like you're not one of us. 144 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,966 Disgraceful. I-I-I'm not a superhero. 145 00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,167 Cop a squat, chief. 146 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,102 Everyone in the universe is a hero. 147 00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,114 All you have to do is know the difference between good and bad, 148 00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,506 and root for good. 149 00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:14,975 Rick says good and bad are artificial constructs. 150 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,310 Yeah, well, I get the feeling... 151 00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,647 He kind of needs that to be the case. 152 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:20,981 Not coming, Noob Noob? 153 00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:25,686 Ohh! No, uh, I got stuff to do here. 154 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,494 Security drones, inbound. 155 00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:37,330 Star Mother, grant me your wrath. 156 00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:42,536 All aboard! 157 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,184 Gun turret. Are you all right? 158 00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:59,152 Yes. I only lost 400 ants. 159 00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:00,988 My queen is laying more. 160 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,824 I am back to... one Million Ants. 161 00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:05,358 Someone wake up Sanchez. 162 00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:09,162 Ugh! Oh, Christ. 163 00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:10,664 Rick. You're up. Barely. 164 00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:12,399 We're taking fire from an automated turret. 165 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,201 Can you bring it offline? Uh-huh. 166 00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:25,913 Uh, my God, that's better. Rick! 167 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,748 Hey, I can't help if I can't see. 168 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,936 I could've just used a ghost train. 169 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,571 Really? You don't say. You would've used a ghost train? 170 00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:54,041 Hey, everybody, the ghost train guy 171 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,043 would have used a ghost train. 172 00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,544 - Man, Fuck you. - Is there coffee? 173 00:07:57,577 --> 00:07:59,212 Hey, Morty, can you be a pal, 174 00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:00,590 Grandpa left his coffee maker on the ship, 175 00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:01,891 you know, the French press thing... 176 00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:02,916 Get it yourself. 177 00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:08,756 Little extra snippy this morning, aren't you? 178 00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:10,557 Just focus on the mission, all right? 179 00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,726 Oh-oh-oh, I'm sorry, oh, you're right. 180 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:16,730 Ohh, real serious. Gotta take it real serious, huh? 181 00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:20,400 Son of a Steam Engine. They're all dead. 182 00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:23,403 Why would Worldender do this to his own men... 183 00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:25,572 and several women? Well, he is the Worldender. 184 00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:27,775 The guy ends worlds. Kind of his thing. 185 00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:31,111 Ohh, real scared. Real fucking on alert, 186 00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:33,413 high alert over here. 187 00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:35,582 Watch out! 188 00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:36,583 What the fuck? 189 00:08:36,616 --> 00:08:38,919 It's Worldender! What happened to him? 190 00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:42,589 I sense his life force is fading. 191 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,424 Million Ants, ladies and gentlemen. 192 00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,760 The ant colony with the power of two human eyes. 193 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,630 All right. Short mission. Good mission. 194 00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:52,833 Remember when Alan wanted to use a ghost train? 195 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,602 See you guys in Vindicators Four. Morty? Rick, whoever did this 196 00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:57,270 is an even bigger threat than Worldender. 197 00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:58,605 We can't leave now. 198 00:08:58,638 --> 00:09:01,308 He's right. This is far from over. 199 00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:02,509 Well, have fun with that, 200 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,453 but Morty and I have to meet a Lady Comet, a Monorail Man, 201 00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:06,613 Two Assholes, and a Full Alligator in like an hour. 202 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:20,794 Shit. 203 00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:22,529 I sense the presence 204 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,231 of a greater evil. 205 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:27,200 Check, check. One, two. 206 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:30,470 Okay. Is it recording? Good. 207 00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:31,972 Hello, Vindicators. 208 00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:34,641 Welcome to your reckoning, baby! 209 00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:37,044 Welp, it's official. 210 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,179 I had too much to drink last night. 211 00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:42,983 If you guys are watching this, 212 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,718 you're, you know, the Vindicators. 213 00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:47,721 So, now that we know... Rick? What's going on, buddy? 214 00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:50,724 Obviously, I came here last night during a blackout. 215 00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:52,559 "Obviously?" 216 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,494 You came here and defeated our arch nemesis... 217 00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:56,897 while so drunk you don't remember doing it? 218 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,899 That's something "obvious" to you? 219 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,168 Look, I'm a lit... little more complex than you guys, 220 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,903 and, no offense, but I've always suspected 221 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,404 that a lot of what you do in a year 222 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,782 could be knocked out in a couple of hours. 223 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:08,508 So I thought, why not just do your job for you, 224 00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,677 so we can have a little fun game. 225 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,915 Rick, is... Is this a "Saw" thing? 226 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,184 Are you seriously Sawing the Vindicators? 227 00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:19,352 Morty, I'm a drunk, not a hack. 228 00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:21,755 If you break the rules, lose the game or try to leave, 229 00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:23,090 you will die. 230 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,125 Like in "Sawwww." 231 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,593 Well, I-I-I think we've seen enough, 232 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,261 I'll just figure out how to unplug this. 233 00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,605 Okay, here we go. Room number one. 234 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,531 The Vindicators are known throughout the galaxy, 235 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:34,301 but do they know yourselves, do you know yourselves? 236 00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,937 Match your... your shit, your... your gimmicks, 237 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:40,440 with your faces, and y-you get it, it's a matching thing. 238 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:44,144 And do it in three minutes or you'll all die. 239 00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:46,980 Screw this. I'm not playing his game. 240 00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,224 I'm gonna find us a way out of here. 241 00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:49,616 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, Vance. 242 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,127 He said you'd die if you tried to leave. 243 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,385 That means there's booby traps. 244 00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:55,055 Why are you acting like that's not you? 245 00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,565 What part of "blackout" don't you understand? 246 00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:57,958 I thought you drank. 247 00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,293 Like cool drinking! Like sexy drinking, 248 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,796 not this psycho, trailer-park shit! 249 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,631 Vance, stay calm... 250 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,575 Oh, so you're the leader now, because we gave you a jacket? 251 00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:09,136 You're the learning-disabled kid we do photo ops with. 252 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,570 Okay, ouch, but... Okay, this... 253 00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:13,807 This is triggering me. I need space. 254 00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:17,644 I-I need space from this! 255 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,102 Give me one reason 256 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,837 why I shouldn't crush your windpipe. 257 00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:47,174 Because my epidermis is laced with a nanofiber defense mesh... 258 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,509 And because, like I said, I don't remember last night. 259 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:52,045 I told you not to invite this mummified motherfucker back. 260 00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,456 Alan, I'm not proud of what's happening here, 261 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,215 but if you keep coming at me, 262 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:56,692 there's gonna be another passenger on that ghost train. 263 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,552 Guys! I figured it out. 264 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:02,522 - Congrats! - You did it it! 265 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,859 It was a bit. All of the descriptors apply to all of you. 266 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,460 Drunk Rick's point 267 00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:08,872 is that none of you are very special or different. 268 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,697 That's always his point. 269 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,033 Let's just get through this as quickly as possible. 270 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,801 Then we'll deal with the two of you. 271 00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:17,570 The two of us? I hope you're proud of yourself. 272 00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:20,040 Uh, I kind of am. I saved the God damn universe. 273 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,474 That's not the issue, Rick! 274 00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,877 Ahh, it would've been if I hadn't! 275 00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,412 The Vindicators say their job 276 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,414 is to fight evil wherever it hides, 277 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:30,383 but they don't... Pick the location you'll... 278 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,920 You'll never hear them even mention, 279 00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:36,056 because to fight darkness is to fight yourself. 280 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,058 Oh! I know this. Dorian 5! 281 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,259 Crocubot, don't! 282 00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:41,728 There's no other possible answer. 283 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:45,232 My mechanical and reptilian logic are certain of it. 284 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,599 Oh! 285 00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:48,768 Huh! I'm seeing more croc than bot here. 286 00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:50,503 God damn it! 287 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,405 Uh, what happened on Dorian 5? Nothing! 288 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:55,842 Nothing? We exterminated a planet. 289 00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:57,577 W-Wait. Huh? 290 00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:00,280 Doomnomitron was hiding there! He's a shapeshifter. 291 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:03,350 Destroying Dorian 5 was the only way to kill him. 292 00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:04,760 Come on, guys, we're all thinking it. 293 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,086 Don't... 294 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,087 Don't make me say it. 295 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,588 Oh, okay. This again. 296 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,757 You know, I could have made you a device 297 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,593 to detect Doomnomitron from orbit like that. 298 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,463 I'm not the one that didn't want you back. Alan was. 299 00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:19,933 If you lay those deaths at my doorstep one more time... 300 00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:22,135 Do not threaten her. 301 00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:24,304 Congrats, you did it. 302 00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,606 What the hell is "Israel"? 303 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,317 It-It's just something Rick starts talking about 304 00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:29,542 when he's blackout drunk. 305 00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:31,144 W-What? In w... In w-w-what? 306 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:33,113 Like, w-w-what's my point? 307 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,948 In a way that has no point, 308 00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,059 you just babble about defense budgets and the United Nations 309 00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:37,617 and then you pass out. 310 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,220 So, to be clear, I sometimes reference 311 00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,956 the geopolitical complexities of the topic... 312 00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,325 Which is not the same as going to an anti-Semitic place. 313 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:46,994 I have not stake in this... 314 00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,904 I don't either, I'm... I'm just saying, if anything, 315 00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:51,174 the drunk version of me is probably so supportive of Israel 316 00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:52,632 he wants what's best for it and... 317 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,902 Hey, man, I'm not touching this. You do you. 318 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:02,142 Aloha... means hello and goodbye in Hawaii. 319 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:05,578 But, uh, aloha means... 320 00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:07,347 Has nothing to do with this room. 321 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,582 I'm so fucking drunk. 322 00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:11,418 Ugh, okay. Here's the deal. 323 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,186 I-I want to rest my eyes for a little bit, 324 00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:14,654 I'm... I'm not going to sleep, 325 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,423 I just... just need to rest my eyes, 326 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:17,991 so let's make this one simple... 327 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,993 Just... try to hit some three pointers. 328 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,695 Let's say... you have to hit... five three pointers 329 00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:24,998 in... five minutes... or... I don't know, 330 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:27,010 the whole place... the whole planet will get blown up 331 00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:28,768 with a n-neutrino bomb. 332 00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:30,837 And try to make it a-a lesson about... yourselves, 333 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,839 like... like how selfish you are... 334 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,041 Are or something. 335 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:35,708 And also Hawaii. 336 00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:37,610 You guys hit the baskets, 337 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:40,180 I'll disarm the drunkenly-improvised neutrino bomb. 338 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,182 There's a 40 percent chance it's a dud, 339 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,850 but y-you should still stay back. 340 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:44,960 Morty, how many of these... 341 00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:46,619 Too many, Rick! Too many! 342 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:50,057 Man, I am really getting high-roaded today. 343 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,361 That's a three pointer. 344 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,029 Nice shot. Thank you. 345 00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:58,031 You two make quite a team. 346 00:14:58,065 --> 00:14:59,866 We all do. 347 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,201 Yeah, I guess... 348 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,702 That's a three pointer. 349 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:06,806 But you guys have always had a... an unspoken bond. 350 00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:09,709 I mean, really unspoken. 351 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:13,413 Like, let's-not-tell-my-husband unspoken. 352 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,884 We aren't married anymore, Alan. 353 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,719 Sure, but were we married 354 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:23,490 when you two were "stranded" on Delphi Six for three days? 355 00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:28,228 Because I sensed something was weird when you came back... 356 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,497 But what do I know about sensitivity? 357 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,732 I'm just a phantom train conductor. 358 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,668 You're the pile of ordinary bugs that fucked my wife! 359 00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:38,505 That's a three pointer. 360 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:39,748 Where the fuck is the lead wire? 361 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,408 You always put it in the weirdest place. 362 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,675 Um, uh, over here maybe? 363 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,511 Jesus Christ, what a shitty neutrino bomb. 364 00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,255 It's a miracle I ever actually destroy anything. 365 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,914 Oh, I don't know, 366 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,292 you managed to destroy just about everything today. 367 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:50,750 The villains, the heroes, 368 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,352 the lines between them, my childhood... 369 00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:54,020 Thank yeewwwwww. I appreciate it, Morty, 370 00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:55,522 I know you were sucking the Kool-Aid 371 00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:56,599 out of the Vindicators' dicks 372 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,458 so the fact that I was right about them 373 00:15:58,491 --> 00:15:59,626 must be pretty hard to admit. 374 00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,428 Yeah, it is. You know why, Rick? 375 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,762 Because when you're an asshole, 376 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,264 it doesn't matter how right you are, 377 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,937 nobody wants to give you the satisfaction. 378 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,268 I know. Everyone wants people they like to be right. 379 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,270 That's why popular people are fucking dumb. 380 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,714 And why your pretentious, poorly-written, 381 00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,306 high-budget friends back there 382 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:14,941 can eat a double-decker shit sandwich. 383 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,376 Disarmed. 384 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,778 Holy shit. You're jealous. 385 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,713 Yes! Is that what you want to hear? 386 00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:21,881 Did it feel good? 387 00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:24,451 Did you like his six million wriggling legs 388 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,619 more than my tragedy-stricken, 389 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:29,456 half-ghost, half-tumescent penis? Guys, stop! 390 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,791 You're just proving my asshole grandpa right! 391 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:35,162 You wish this was about sex! We loved each other! 392 00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:37,397 We had a child together! What? 393 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:41,134 I conceived a child with Million Ants and it died inside me 394 00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:45,505 because it was half a million ants and half collapsing star! 395 00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:49,476 And yes. He was better than you. 396 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,577 Yeah? 397 00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:52,312 One... million... times... better. 398 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,148 All aboard, motherfucker. 399 00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:57,184 Stop! 400 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:02,189 Oof! Didn't see that coming. 401 00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,756 Is that sarcasm? 402 00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,825 I don't want you slipping away when this is over. 403 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,594 All of these deaths are on your hands. 404 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,162 Okay, come on, maybe a couple of them, 405 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,273 but definitely not the Train Guy. 406 00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:11,531 Oof! All of them. 407 00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:12,665 Oookay. 408 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,168 Congrats. You did it. 409 00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:19,005 All right, by now, I've been pretty clear 410 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,174 that I think the Vindicators are full of shit. 411 00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:24,010 But... you do have one thing that I'll never have. 412 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,012 And that thing is the only part of the Vindicators 413 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,780 with any value to me. 414 00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:30,116 If you know what it is, place it on the platform. 415 00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:32,619 Guess wrong and pla-planet will explode. 416 00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,120 And probably the solar system, 417 00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:36,031 'cause I kind of fucking eyeballed the neutrino bombs 418 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,790 on this one. 419 00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:41,027 So what's the trick? Morty, you're the Drunk Rick expert. 420 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:45,198 I think... no matter what we put on there, we die. 421 00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:47,967 He said it's the part of the Vindicators he values. 422 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,035 That means nothing. 423 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,470 He wants our last moment alive 424 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:52,205 to be spent knowing how few fucks he gave. 425 00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:54,574 Jesus! Okay, open to second opinions. 426 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,243 It could... It could be Morty. 427 00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:57,644 What? Hey, I don't know. 428 00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:58,978 I mean, look, when I get drunk, 429 00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:01,481 I get stupid and emotional and there's no logic to it. 430 00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:03,816 It's, like, it's possible I got so drunk 431 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:06,386 I felt like I was losing Morty to the Vindicators, 432 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,588 and maybe this is my way of saying, "Okay", 433 00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:11,057 you can have him but only if you know how important he is, 434 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,225 "otherwise I'll kill you." 435 00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:14,894 That is a... really specific guess. 436 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,497 Look, I-I... there's nothing in the room but us. 437 00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:19,399 I'm just using logic to connect some dots, 438 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,767 it's the best guess I've got. 439 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,669 But you're betting our lives on it. 440 00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:25,071 I'll cover that bet. I get it. 441 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,073 Well, Morty, I think you're doing that smirky face 442 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,075 because you're misinterpreting the moment. 443 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,278 I am not being coy about some hidden love for you. 444 00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,913 I want to be really clear that if anyone has a better guess, 445 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,182 like, if I gave you an amulet last night, or... 446 00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:39,185 Phew. 447 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:41,953 Oh, shit. 448 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:47,026 Sorry. I'm... not good at goodbyes, 449 00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:49,696 and... I'm drunk, so, you know, I just... 450 00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:52,031 It looks like I'm never going to see you again. 451 00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,100 I can't really roll with the hero types. 452 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,536 And I don't... they... They don't want me around. 453 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:59,939 But I want you to know, even if I didn't show it at the time, 454 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,309 I really appreciated you sticking by me. 455 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:06,479 God damn it, why am I crying? It makes no sense. 456 00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:08,047 Ugh, you're... You're probably confused 457 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,882 because we barely knew each other, 458 00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,451 but you really stuck your neck out 459 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:12,628 when you gave me props for my awesome jokes 460 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,321 in the briefing room. 461 00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:17,123 Everybody else had their head so far up their ass. 462 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,725 Even my own grandson is like, 463 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,460 "Oh, the Vindicators, they're so cool." 464 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:23,896 I mean, he's a moron, that's their demographic. 465 00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:25,465 But you're different, Noob Noob. 466 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,066 Mother fucker. 467 00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:29,469 You're fucking cool. And you're smart. 468 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:32,171 And I bet we coulda hung out and shit. 469 00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:34,507 And I hope you get to be a full-fledged Vindicator 470 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,175 and... and do... Do me a favor, 471 00:19:36,208 --> 00:19:38,144 don't... don't let them know I-I got emotional. 472 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,246 But you can tell them one thing. 473 00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:42,148 Tell them I said... 474 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:45,885 Oh fuck Okay. I just shit myself. Okay, later. 475 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,292 W... Dude, Morty, what happened... Shut up. 476 00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:57,330 I sense this means we are not dying. 477 00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:58,665 Not all of us. 478 00:19:58,698 --> 00:19:59,866 Sweetheart. 479 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:01,701 Just let Titty Bean do this, Snuzzles. 480 00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,169 It's for the greater good. 481 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,270 Greater good? Titty Bean? 482 00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:05,872 It's like you said, Morty. 483 00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:08,007 There's no right or wrong... Never said that. 484 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,710 It's the galaxy's faith in the Vindicators 485 00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,879 that keeps the galaxy secure. 486 00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,614 Yeah, I feel safer already. 487 00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,783 No doubt, who do we make the check out to? 488 00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:18,785 I will say we are getting some good licks in 489 00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,353 while choking to death... Right? 490 00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:22,054 Titty Bean. Listen to me. 491 00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:23,022 When you came to me, 492 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,625 I was merely a sentient colony of ants. 493 00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:28,695 It was your beliefs, your pursuit of justice... 494 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,363 that taught me to be a man. 495 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,633 When did it get so complicated? 496 00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:36,302 Who knows. But we can make it simple again. 497 00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:37,970 You were always the romantic. 498 00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:40,373 Which is why you can't leave, either. 499 00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:46,312 I'm sorry, my love. 500 00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:48,815 Damn! She double-crossed Snuzzles! 501 00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:51,718 Silence! I'm going to enjoy this... 502 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,554 Let's give a huge thanks to Rick Sanchez 503 00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:57,056 for killing Worldender, putting this awesome party together, 504 00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:00,427 and for booking one of the hottest talents out there... 505 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:03,996 - Logic! - Awe, yeah. 506 00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:05,598 Look at that. It's going down. 507 00:21:05,632 --> 00:21:07,233 Geez, I must have planned a whole party. 508 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,077 - It's Logic, y'all. - Invited a bunch of people. 509 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,413 - Not bad, Drunk Rick, not bad. - Shout out to my boy, Rick. 510 00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:12,238 Are you ready? 511 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,911 Rick, Supernova's getting away. Eh, who cares? 512 00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:20,346 But... she was trying to kill us. 513 00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:22,181 Morty, 20 people try to kill me every week. 514 00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:23,626 I end up getting high with half of them. 515 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:25,618 I mean, check it out, Gearhead's here. 516 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,263 Hmm. Well, that's gonna shoot through me. 517 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,423 Morty, you're wearing a Vindicator jacket. 518 00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:32,024 Are you a little superhero now? 519 00:21:32,058 --> 00:21:33,960 Everyone in the universe is a hero, Mom. 520 00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:35,628 Which is why we don't need jackets. 521 00:21:35,662 --> 00:21:37,440 And I'm pretty sure we don't need Vindicators. 522 00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:39,098 Don't mind if I do. 523 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,634 Hey, everybody! Look who's a Vindicator! 524 00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:45,438 Man, Grandpa Rick must have gotten shitfaced. Shut up, Summer. 525 00:21:56,916 --> 00:21:59,051 Yo, it's Logic once again, y'all. 526 00:21:59,085 --> 00:22:00,453 Don't forget the name. 527 00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:01,888 Make sure you get home safe. 528 00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:03,165 And, man, we gotta all give it up for Rick, 529 00:22:03,189 --> 00:22:05,124 'cause, I mean, what kind of mother 530 00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:07,460 just sets up a whole festival like this 531 00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:09,496 when he's completely loaded, man? 532 00:22:09,529 --> 00:22:13,132 And all that stuff I said about Vance, that's not real. 533 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:16,168 Vance that guy, that guy sucks. 534 00:22:16,202 --> 00:22:18,838 Whoo! 535 00:22:18,871 --> 00:22:20,406 Yeah! 536 00:22:20,439 --> 00:22:22,842 Yo... 537 00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:26,078 D-Did I get paid yet? Whoo! 538 00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,917 I can't believe we're getting Gear Cream with a Vindicator. 539 00:22:30,950 --> 00:22:35,021 So, you girls in Gear college or Gear... 540 00:22:35,054 --> 00:22:37,156 Alien terror attack! 541 00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:41,528 Okay. Sounds like a job for... me. 542 00:22:41,561 --> 00:22:44,931 I better go get into my alter ego. 543 00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:46,599 So cool. I know. 544 00:22:46,633 --> 00:22:48,701 Wait, what alter ego? 545 00:22:48,735 --> 00:22:50,503 He was already wearing the jacket. 546 00:22:52,972 --> 00:22:54,340 Gotta know when to hold 'em and... 547 00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:55,373 Aaaaah!