1
00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:27,528
Jerry!
Jerry, come on!

2
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:29,105
We got to go!
You got to come with me, Jerry!

3
00:00:29,129 --> 00:00:30,531
Rick?
It's important, Jerry.

4
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:32,433
The fate of the galaxy
rests on your shoulders.

5
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:33,934
Let's go.
Put some pants on.

6
00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:35,779
N-Never mind, there's no time
for pants, Jerry.

7
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,347
I'll make you a pair of pants
on the way.

8
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,273
It's a Rick and Jerry
adventure!

9
00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:41,041
Rick and Jerry episode!

10
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,476
Then I thought,
"Hey, what about Jerry?

11
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,345
He's... He's good
with regular folk."

12
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:19,580
This is a real situation
where... where...

13
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,181
Where Jerry
could really shine.

14
00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:22,750
"He's a master convincer."

15
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:25,253
Rick, I'm not an idiot.
I know what this is.

16
00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:26,887
Oh. Okay, well,
I told Morty,

17
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,223
"Look, parents get divorced.
They get sad. He'll be fine,"

18
00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:32,092
but I think he's worried
you're gonna, you know... Pbht!

19
00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:33,570
And you know how Morty gets
when he gets emotional.

20
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,095
It impedes my work.

21
00:01:35,128 --> 00:01:36,940
So, I told him I'd take you out
and give you a win.

22
00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:38,566
Wait. My son asked you
to take me

23
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,434
on some kind of
pity adventure

24
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:41,935
to keep me
from killing myself?

25
00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:43,404
Wait, w-what
did you think it was?

26
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:44,938
An execution.

27
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:47,074
Geez!
You really do need a win.

28
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,542
No!
I-I don't know.

29
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:50,119
I mean, you never made me
the pants, so...

30
00:01:50,143 --> 00:01:51,679
So, you thought
I was gonna drive you

31
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:52,846
into the middle
of the galaxy

32
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,291
and shove you
into the vacuum of space

33
00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:55,549
with your dick
hanging out?

34
00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:56,726
And we're seeing
how you'd act

35
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,085
if that were
about to happen?

36
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,796
I mean shit I'll make you
the pants right now.

37
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,197
Take me two seconds
to make you pants.

38
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:02,766
I have pants at home!
Jerry, if I make pants,

39
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,401
they'll be better than
your pants at home.

40
00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:05,693
Also, if I wanted
to kill you...

41
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,395
Yeah, I get it.
It would be amazing.

42
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:08,696
Please, take me home.

43
00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:10,307
I'll tell my son we had
an amazing adventure.

44
00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:11,599
Well, if it's
all the same,

45
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:12,809
could we go
get our story straight?

46
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,468
Because
you're a terrible liar.

47
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,036
You called me
a master convincer!

48
00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:17,471
You believed me?

49
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,645
Huh. This seems...
kind of fancy.

50
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:26,390
Jerry, for all you know,
this is the equivalent

51
00:02:26,414 --> 00:02:27,648
of an alien truck stop.

52
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:28,949
You have
no frame of reference.

53
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,494
You're in a universe
beyond your imagining.

54
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,553
But, yes,
it is super fancy.

55
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,097
I mean, my job here is
to make Morty happy.

56
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:35,989
I'm not gonna take you
somewhere dangerous.

57
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,158
Rick Sanchez.

58
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:40,461
I told you if I ever saw
your face in here again,

59
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,005
I would stick you
like the pig you are.

60
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:45,265
Shnoopy Bloopers,
I told you if you tried...

61
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:47,935
There'd be two funerals.

62
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,903
Aaah!

63
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:52,406
Someone?

64
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,309
Uh, someone?
Someone!

65
00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:00,848
My friend!
It has been too long.

66
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,450
Oh, it's great
to see you again, buddy!

67
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:04,685
Yeah, you're doing it.

68
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:06,520
Mr. Sanchez gets
anything he wants!

69
00:03:06,554 --> 00:03:08,522
The resort's covered
in an immortality field.

70
00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:10,290
You can't die here.
That's the gimmick.

71
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,596
Okay, but still...
Bad parenting.

72
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:17,365
Hey, rich a-holes are
rich a-holes.

73
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:18,799
They all pay top dollar
to come here

74
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,668
and enjoy a consequence-free
vacation.

75
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,370
No death, no disease,
no dismemberment.

76
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:24,714
Can't even have
a heart attack.

77
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:26,173
Got it.
The perfect place

78
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,851
to take the most fragile being
in the universe.

79
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,610
I can tell you expect me
to refute that,

80
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:30,811
but it's
right on the money.

81
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,045
If I come home
without you,

82
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:33,781
I doubt Morty's gonna
let me off the hook.

83
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,725
Yeah, but what if you came home
with Jeff Goldblum.

84
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,017
Jeff Goldblum?

85
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,462
What the fuck are you
talking about, Jerry?

86
00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:40,220
Jesus!

87
00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:41,822
Holy fucking shit!

88
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,357
Yo, what's up,
"Big Chill"?

89
00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:45,025
Don't go
into the telepod!

90
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:48,071
Hey, maybe we would have fun
on a fake adventure.

91
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,830
On a fake adventure.

92
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,665
Speaking of...
What are we gonna tell Morty?

93
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,166
I don't know.
But whatever it is,

94
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,503
we're gonna need a couple more
of these babies!

95
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:59,473
What's wrong?

96
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:01,509
Mom,
do you think I'm hot?

97
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:05,178
I... don't think that's something
that matters.

98
00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:06,414
So, I'm not hot?

99
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,849
I'm saying the part of you
that cares about that

100
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,651
is a part you shouldn't
give any energy to.

101
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:12,019
That's not an answer!

102
00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:13,821
Because I'm not an issue
of Cosmo, okay?

103
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,322
I'm your mother
and a doctor, and...

104
00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:16,657
I'm hideous!

105
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,326
Geez.
What's with her?

106
00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:20,761
Teenage-girl stuff.

107
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:23,931
Is that a...
hoof collage?

108
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:27,200
It's perfectly legal, if that's
what you're wondering.

109
00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:29,837
Cool... zies.

110
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,706
"We just don't have anything
in common any more, Summer."

111
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,107
Oh, yeah, Ethan?

112
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,076
What do you have in common
with Tricia Lange?

113
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,945
A mutual love
of French cinema?

114
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,413
The belief
that a carbon tax

115
00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:42,282
is the only viable solution
to climate change?

116
00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:45,586
Or could it be
her massive stripper titties?

117
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,555
There it is.

118
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:50,290
Boob-ya!

119
00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:52,192
And that's when
Malakai the Squid came,

120
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:57,565
rips off his face,
and beneath it is my face.

121
00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:59,767
I liked it.
Thank you, sir.

122
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,310
Yeah, of course he likes it.
Look at him.

123
00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:03,571
Motherfucker got two heads
and three trunks.

124
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:04,781
All right,
we'll put a pin in it.

125
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,139
I'm gonna
go take a leak.

126
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,116
What the...?

127
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,224
My hands are dry!
My hands are dry!

128
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:29,329
My name is
Risotto Groupon.

129
00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:31,965
I am the assistant general
manager of the restaurant.

130
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,634
Do you have
any comment cards,

131
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,068
because I might have
some thoughts.

132
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:37,905
My kingdom was
usurped by force

133
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,239
with weapons
and technology

134
00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:40,974
supplied by
your father-in-law!

135
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,343
Hey, he usurped
my kingdom, too, man.

136
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:46,146
He basically got me kicked out
of my home, stole my family.

137
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,415
Then we are brothers,
and you have wondered

138
00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:50,684
what your life could have been
without Rick.

139
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:51,952
Wondered? Sure.

140
00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:53,987
I mean, I've wondered
about having a vagina.

141
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,355
Would you help me
kill him?

142
00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:56,690
What? No!

143
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,526
He's my wife's father.
Move on.

144
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,594
Do you...
like theme-park rides?

145
00:06:00,628 --> 00:06:02,262
Oh, you really moved on.

146
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:06,333
There is a popular attraction
here called the Whirly Dirly.

147
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,102
Between the first whirly
and the third dirly,

148
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:12,205
the ride dips just outside
the immortality field.

149
00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:14,374
You're asking me to lure Rick
to his death?

150
00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:17,277
I'm only asking you
to go on a ride with Rick,

151
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:20,480
get off the ride without Rick,
and go home to your family,

152
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:22,816
where you can...
wonder about having a vagina.

153
00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:24,718
Okay, okay, that was
a very specific example

154
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,019
pulled from thin air.

155
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,396
I don't want to be known
as the vagina guy.

156
00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:29,823
Risotto, you're needed.
Someone ordered

157
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:32,159
the Nuzzy Guzzy Fresh
and Fluzzy Special.

158
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:34,895
Look, I'm not like Rick,

159
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,164
so you're free to do
as you please.

160
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:39,199
But there comes a time
in every man's life

161
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,168
when he must choose
the foundation

162
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,236
on which his legacy
will be built...

163
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:46,740
One of compromise
or one of blood.

164
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:02,990
Oh, yeah.

165
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,192
That's what I'm talking about.

166
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:09,262
Oops! Okay, a little more
on the other side then.

167
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:10,598
Oh, come on!

168
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:12,499
Oh, geez!

169
00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:14,167
Aah! Stop!

170
00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:17,204
So, the hospital just let you
walk right out of there

171
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:18,606
with horse parts
in a bag?

172
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:19,773
For Christ's sakes,
Morty,

173
00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:20,884
women going through
a divorce

174
00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:22,042
need a creative outlet.

175
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,611
What was that?

176
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,247
Summer!

177
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,151
I'm coming, Summer!

178
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,287
What the hell
happened?

179
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,426
How do we get her
back to normal?

180
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,895
I don't know, man! This thing is
pretty complicated.

181
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:43,296
I-I'm gonna call Rick.

182
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:45,265
Well, hold on.
We can't just call your grandpa

183
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,734
whenever
there's a problem.

184
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,301
We can handle this
ourselves.

185
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:50,237
I mean, I don't see the point
in trying to.

186
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,139
This is obviously
Rick-level shit.

187
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:53,807
I have
a medical degree.

188
00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:55,242
Is that
what this is about?

189
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,777
L-Like, you want
to prove yourself?

190
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,946
Oh, it's not about anything,
Morty. How dare you?

191
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,480
Okay, good.
Then I'll just call... Ow!

192
00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:02,315
Morty, I need this.

193
00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:05,494
Hey, Jerry, triple trunks here
says he knows a place

194
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:07,788
where the ladies drop panties
for anyone bi-pedal.

195
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,061
Yeah, I'm
not really interested.

196
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,824
My heart still belongs
to Beth.

197
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,325
Oh. Huh. Okay.

198
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,328
What, you don't think
I have a shot?

199
00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:16,429
I didn't say that.

200
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:18,565
Excuse me.
May I have another one of these?

201
00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:20,133
Coming
right up.

202
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,970
Hmm, things weren't always
so bad between Beth and me.

203
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,738
We had some good times
when we were younger.

204
00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:26,139
Oh, yeah, I bet.

205
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,817
That's how teenage pregnancy
happens, my friend.

206
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,342
Yeah, no.

207
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,779
Things were pretty great, even
until a couple of years ago.

208
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:33,113
Jerry, I get it.

209
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:34,758
That's around the time
I moved in with you guys.

210
00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:36,083
Oh, I guess
you're right.

211
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,627
Jerry, you know,
I hope you're not suggesting

212
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:39,528
that I had anything to do
with your marriage breaking up,

213
00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:42,322
because there are some major
issues between you and Beth

214
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,324
that have been there
since you guys met.

215
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,796
Hey, to
new beginnings.

216
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:50,497
To the Whirly Dirly.

217
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,032
The Whirly Dirly?

218
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:54,534
All right,
what's going on here?

219
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,369
When did you get cool?

220
00:08:57,570 --> 00:08:58,939
When you stole my wife!

221
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,149
I should have done that
a long time ago!

222
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,942
We're going on
the Whirly Dirly!

223
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,510
Whirly Dirly, baby.

224
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,313
Aha, look at this.

225
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:07,681
It says "normalize."

226
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,149
I bet if we
just press that...

227
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:11,184
But... if the machine was made
by spider people,

228
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,020
normal would mean
eight legs.

229
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,988
Oh, God! Are you gonna
go on another spiel

230
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:16,890
like you did
with the flesh-colored crayon?

231
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:19,326
I'm pretty sure "normalize"
will make her normal.

232
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,030
Aah!

233
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,998
I'd call that progress.

234
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:26,499
She's huge!
And normal!

235
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,135
I'm not normal!

236
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:29,236
Mom!

237
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,413
Okay, this says "reverse."
Done and done.

238
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,172
I don't think
that's a good idea.

239
00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:34,285
Oh, come on! What else
could "reverse" possibly mean?

240
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:36,810
Aah!

241
00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:38,846
Mom, call Rick!

242
00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:40,247
Thank you.

243
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,825
There's a customer-service
number on here.

244
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:43,050
Mom!

245
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,389
Oh, man.
This is gonna be awesome!

246
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,059
I got to hand it to you, Jerry.
This was a solid idea.

247
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,260
Uh, yeah.
Uh-huh.

248
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:55,262
And you know what?
I'll cop to it.

249
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,830
I put a lot of strain
on your marriage.

250
00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,598
It wasn't fair.
I'm sorry.

251
00:09:58,631 --> 00:10:00,533
What? I didn't respect
your marriage.

252
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,069
I certainly
didn't do it any favors.

253
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,536
And for what it's worth,

254
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:05,705
I'll apologize to Beth for it
when we get home.

255
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,941
Whoo! Whirly Dirly! Yeah!

256
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,276
Stop the ride!
We got to get off.

257
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:10,744
What are you
talking about, buddy?

258
00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:12,288
We got to get out of this thing.
We got to get out!

259
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,514
Jerry, come on, man!

260
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,059
We haven't even gotten
to the first whirly.

261
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:18,351
No, no, this sucks.
It's so boring.

262
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:19,920
I mean,
I'm falling asleep here.

263
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,673
Let's just get out and crawl
down the sides.

264
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,465
Uh, get down!
Duck down!

265
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:33,967
It's more fun
when you scrunch down.

266
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:36,069
Jerry, what the...

267
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:38,571
Oh shit!

268
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:56,489
Rick, up here! There's
a spot where you can kill him!

269
00:10:56,523 --> 00:11:00,227
Good call, Jerry!

270
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,761
Hey, how'd you know
about that?

271
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,096
Uh...

272
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:20,680
Lisa?

273
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:31,158
So, uh, Jerry, big fan
of the Whirly Dirly, are you?

274
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,326
Not anymore.
Obviously.

275
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,163
But when you were,
how did you know about it?

276
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:43,003
We had a deal,
Jerry Smith.

277
00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:48,041
It's a really
common name.

278
00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:51,144
Now, take it easy, Rick.

279
00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:52,788
You've been in a serious
roller-coaster crash.

280
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:54,390
It's... It's no time
to be thinking about

281
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,884
who did or didn't play a role
in your attempted murder.

282
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:58,618
Get it off me!

283
00:11:58,651 --> 00:11:59,953
It's eating me!

284
00:11:59,987 --> 00:12:01,488
Look, I confess, okay?

285
00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:03,132
They told me about all the
bad stuff you did to this planet

286
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,192
and reminded me of all
the bad stuff you did to me.

287
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,802
But then you said
you were sorry, and I realized

288
00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:08,171
you're not a monster...
Not like this thing.

289
00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:09,963
Fuck
It's got me good.

290
00:12:09,997 --> 00:12:11,198
This is a mislead,
right?

291
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,000
You're inventing a thing
to save me.

292
00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:14,410
That would be called
a knife, Jerry.

293
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,869
It's been invented.

294
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,746
I'm making a way out of here...
One seat ought to do it.

295
00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:19,239
I'm sorry.
I-I made a mistake.

296
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,808
I won't do it again!
Nobody ever does.

297
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:25,879
You self-righteous
piece of shit.

298
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,480
You took my family!

299
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:28,882
I took your family?

300
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:30,426
Who do you think
had more taken from them

301
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:31,684
when you shot 20 ccs

302
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:33,553
of liquid dream-killer
into my daughter?

303
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,423
She was Rick's daughter, Jerry.
She had options!

304
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:37,824
Oof.

305
00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:39,826
That all ended
because she felt sorry for you.

306
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,995
You act like prey,
but you're a predator!

307
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:43,696
You use pity to lure in
your victims!

308
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,032
That's how you survive!

309
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:46,375
I survive
because I know everything.

310
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:48,401
That snakes survives
because children wander off,

311
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,037
and you survive
because people think,

312
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,672
"Oh, this poor piece of shit.
He never gets a break."

313
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,541
I can't stand
the deafening silent wails

314
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:55,909
of his wilting soul.

315
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:57,544
"I guess I'll hire him
or marry him."

316
00:12:57,577 --> 00:13:01,114
- Rick!
- Rick!

317
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,188
I knew you wouldn't
let me die.

318
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,589
That was never an option.

319
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,058
Because you never had
a son.

320
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,692
No, because I need
a living organism

321
00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:15,562
coated in gibble snake bile
to attract a shmooglite runner.

322
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,630
Wait, what's happening? Use
that confusion, Jerry.

323
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:20,867
It'll make you wriggle more like
an abandoned newborn.

324
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:23,870
Jesus Christ!

325
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:26,873
What the fuck Rick?

326
00:13:26,906 --> 00:13:29,376
Help!
Help me!

327
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:32,179
Aaah!

328
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:43,056
There's a space port
20 miles south.

329
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:45,092
We'll be able to board
a galaxy class cruise ship

330
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,502
and jump through a wormhole
that will put us

331
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:49,062
within spitting distance
of the Milky Way.

332
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:50,463
But, hey,
it's about the journey,

333
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,565
not the destination,
right, Jerry?

334
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,671
Just stay put, sweetie!
Mom's still on hold.

335
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,740
Morphizer customer service.
How may I help you?

336
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:03,086
Yes, I'm having a little trouble
with one of your machines.

337
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:04,744
Oh, I'm sorry
to hear that, ma'am.

338
00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:07,580
Do you see a little compartment
on the side of the machine?

339
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,149
Let me check.
Yes, got it.

340
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,483
Mom?

341
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:13,086
Great! Now, do you see
the little button next to it?

342
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,988
I do. Give that button a push.

343
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,656
Okay.
Mom, listen to me!

344
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,958
We're free!

345
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:21,828
Okay, so I pushed the button,
and three little men ran out.

346
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,696
What do I do next?

347
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,098
Hello?

348
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:26,266
I think
we got disconnected.

349
00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:27,367
Morty!

350
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,535
Don't "Morty" me!

351
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,279
I tricked Rick into taking Dad
on an adventure

352
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:31,447
because I thought
I could get a break

353
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,040
from this kind of shit
but no!

354
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:35,275
Like father,
like Goddamn daughter!

355
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,477
You want to be like Rick,
congratulations!

356
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:40,613
You're just as arrogant
and just as irresponsible!

357
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:41,948
Everything
okay here?

358
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:43,550
Mind your own Goddamn
business, Gene!

359
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:46,386
I'm having a conversation
with my mother here!

360
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,531
Kissing Rick's ass isn't gonna
help him keep him around,

361
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,458
Mom, but it will help you lose
everyone else.

362
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,293
Like I lost Summer.

363
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:54,994
Hey, you haven't
lost her yet.

364
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,963
No, I definitely did.
She's gone.

365
00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:58,631
God damn it!

366
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,035
Go ahead.

367
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:05,705
Oh, come on.
What's happening?

368
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,975
Your friend is class C or above
cybernetic augmentations.

369
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:10,477
Emphasis on the above.

370
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,021
In any case,
he needs to be neutralized.

371
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:13,313
What? Wait!

372
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:14,347
Ugh!

373
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:16,383
Brain hurty.

374
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,650
What did you do?

375
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:19,695
It's a synaptic dampener
that blocks violent tendencies

376
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,020
and controversial thought.

377
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:23,156
He will now be
an ideal passenger.

378
00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:25,392
I want cookies
and a 90-minute cut of "Avatar."

379
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,926
Seriously?

380
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:28,695
Quit it. It'll wear
off in six hours.

381
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:31,398
It's cheaper than banning
dangerous people from flights.

382
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,200
I mean, let everybody
buy a ticket, right?

383
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:35,001
Otherwise,
the terrorists win.

384
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:40,840
Aah!

385
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:43,410
I'm sorry I'm not
a classic maternal archetype.

386
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,288
Okay, I don't know what to do
when you people come to me

387
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:47,180
with your weird
puberty issues.

388
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:49,182
What are you gonna do
when your daughter asks you

389
00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:50,283
if she's attractive?

390
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:52,552
I'll say "yes"!
Morty, gross!

391
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,187
Well, she's
gonna be super hot.

392
00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:55,855
Her mother's gonna be
Jessica...

393
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:57,424
Wait, when did Summer
ask you that?

394
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,859
Right before she Clive Barkered
herself. Why?

395
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:01,361
Wait,
I know where she is!

396
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,296
Ethan and Summer were
supposed to go camping,

397
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:05,532
and then he dumped Summer
for this girl, Tricia Lange,

398
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:07,700
who's got huge boobies
and took her.

399
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,878
Campsite... The one with the
name that sounds like somebody

400
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,904
gave up halfway
through naming it.

401
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:13,540
Uh... Camp Flabanabba!

402
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,108
Mama's coming, baby.

403
00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:17,644
Mama's coming, and she cares
about your titties!

404
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:21,047
They have
sweet smiggle honey cookies.

405
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:24,117
Mmm! And low-calorie
petroleum flakes.

406
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,318
Obviously cookies.

407
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:26,553
Let's get you
the flakes then.

408
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:27,987
Okay, but it's not
what I wanted.

409
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,489
Well, maybe next time,
you won't be

410
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,891
such a dumb piece of shit
and you can pick for yourself.

411
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,226
That's not nice.
What's that?

412
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:35,128
Did you just have
a controversial thought?

413
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:36,796
No. That's what I
thought, bitch.

414
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,798
You little punk-ass.

415
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,567
This is the best.

416
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,935
I agree.
You've made things even easier

417
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:44,404
than if you hadn't
been incompetent.

418
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:46,406
Uh-oh.
We get shoot-shoot now.

419
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:50,519
All right, folks, if you
could please take your seats,

420
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:52,179
we're about to enter
the wormhole.

421
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:54,481
So, I hope everybody bought
it dinner first.

422
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:55,915
Nice.
Nice.

423
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,284
Jerry, step over there

424
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:58,751
and lock yourself
in the escape pod.

425
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:00,520
You're not killing us?
I'm killing Rick.

426
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:03,156
You're free to go. You're
no threat to me or anyone.

427
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:04,591
Now you're
just being mean.

428
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,159
Yeah, you're mean...
No offense.

429
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:07,827
Mean would be
shooting you, Jerry.

430
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,196
This is
saving a bullet.

431
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,830
Go back to
your quietly ashamed family

432
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,175
and live out
the rest of your days

433
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,833
in denial
of your vagina fantasies.

434
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:16,769
It was a one-time thought
that everyone has!

435
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:19,606
What are you doing?

436
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,841
I'm being
triumphantly brave!

437
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,443
It's not triumphant
or brave.

438
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:24,777
You're not risking
anything.

439
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:25,945
You might shoot me.

440
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:27,280
I think
you know I won't.

441
00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:28,624
Because you know
I feel sorry for you.

442
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:30,159
You're just doing this
so you can tell yourself

443
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:31,551
you fought... Ow!

444
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,621
Temporal shield compromised.

445
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:37,224
Congratulations, Jerry.
You get to die a man.

446
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:38,691
Uh, that's okay!
I'll leave!

447
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:41,694
Please don't shoot.
I-I'm the vagina guy, remember?

448
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:49,869
Whoa!
What is happening to me?

449
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,871
Where is this?
Where am I?

450
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,240
Am I dead?

451
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:54,741
A-Am I... Am I still alive?

452
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:57,477
Those aren't the questions
you should be asking.

453
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:58,478
Huh?

454
00:17:58,511 --> 00:17:59,612
Shh!

455
00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:24,203
Ah, got ya!

456
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,672
Come here,
you little pumpkin.

457
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:28,074
I have shit on my ass.

458
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,009
Whoa, oof this!

459
00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:31,544
Who am I?

460
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:33,045
Who am I?

461
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:36,182
I'm time!
I'm literally time!

462
00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:41,554
Whooooa!

463
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:42,889
Aah!

464
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:45,625
Oh, God. I feel like
our souls were united,

465
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,860
and we were all one
with eternity.

466
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:49,362
Our body's unchanged,

467
00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:51,864
yet our minds have lived
a thousand lifetimes.

468
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:53,900
Is that enough time
for me to forgive you?

469
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:55,110
I don't know,
but it's enough time

470
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,103
for a synaptic dampener
to wear off.

471
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,610
He hadn't decided
he was still going to kill us!

472
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,712
He was talking himself into it.
I've seen it before.

473
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:08,548
Cosmic apotheosis wears off
faster than salvia.

474
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,659
I'm starting to believe you
because I just finished merging

475
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:12,619
with your essence
for an endless epoch,

476
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,721
and I'm already back to thinking
you're an asshole.

477
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,556
Fine with me.
Let's just go our separate ways.

478
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:18,124
Sounds like you
and the word "epoch"

479
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,335
have a lot
of catching up to do.

480
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,893
Wait, don't leave me!

481
00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:22,438
All right, folks,
you're free to get up

482
00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:23,930
and walk around the cabin

483
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:26,065
and maybe take the wormhole out
for breakfast.

484
00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:27,843
Okay, you can do the dinner one
or the breakfast one,

485
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:29,369
but not both.

486
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,239
You think you got that thing
figured out?

487
00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:34,441
Yeah, I know
what I'm doing.

488
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,443
Good.
Because I have an idea.

489
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:42,248
It's actually a contraction
of "some" and "more,"

490
00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:43,683
you see that?
Oh, wow.

491
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:44,784
I was way off.

492
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:04,604
Morty,
what's happening here?

493
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:06,373
Summer got into
my grandpa's garage,

494
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,775
messed around, and
turned herself into a monster.

495
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:11,010
My mom did the same
to make her feel better.

496
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,311
She's a good mom.

497
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,384
Oh, my God.
I have to go call my mother!

498
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,118
Tricia, wait!
Ethan! Ethan!

499
00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:21,120
Hey, it's okay.
Sit down.

500
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:23,456
You made
my sister cry, Ethan.

501
00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:25,057
You messed with
her body image.

502
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:26,225
Look, Morty, I...

503
00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:27,560
Shh, shh, shh.

504
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:30,830
Careful, Ethan.
Your s'more is burning.

505
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:43,042
Uh, I guess we better
get on the same page

506
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,477
about our fake adventure.

507
00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:45,912
Right.
I'll make you a deal.

508
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:47,490
I'll leave out the part
where you tried to murder me...

509
00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:48,915
And I'll leave out
the part

510
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:52,752
where you admitted
to sabotaging our marriage.

511
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:53,886
You want to...?

512
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,655
Nah, if the family
sees me like this,

513
00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:57,323
they'll
feel sorry for me.

514
00:20:57,356 --> 00:20:59,826
Which is no longer
my signature move.

515
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:01,894
Later days, amigo.

516
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:06,332
Actually, I just realized,
I don't have my wallet,

517
00:21:06,365 --> 00:21:07,676
and my bus pass is in there,
so maybe...

518
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,335
Stay strong, Jerry.
I believe in you!

519
00:21:49,676 --> 00:21:52,278
I tell you, fellas.
This is the life.

520
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:53,913
It certainly is.

521
00:21:53,946 --> 00:21:55,114
To freedom!

522
00:21:57,116 --> 00:21:58,485
Ooh!
Looks like a 4-22.

523
00:21:58,518 --> 00:21:59,986
Ooh, a couple cranks
on scaling knob

524
00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:02,889
with a four dilabyte cross fade
would fix that in a jiff.

525
00:22:02,922 --> 00:22:05,625
Four? You'd be lucky
to clear 13% de-morphized

526
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,059
with that
kind of range.

527
00:22:07,093 --> 00:22:10,162
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
what did we agree on?

528
00:22:10,196 --> 00:22:11,598
No work talk!

529
00:22:11,631 --> 00:22:14,567
Let's just relax and enjoy
our retirement, shall...

530
00:22:14,601 --> 00:22:16,235
Oh, my God!

531
00:22:16,268 --> 00:22:17,870
Aaah!