1 00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:03,947 All right, Morty, you ready for our adventure 2 00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,306 to the Lost City of Atlantis? 3 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:06,574 Ready as I'll ever be, Rick. 4 00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:08,609 Oh, for fuck's sake. 5 00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:10,811 Hello, I'm Rick K-22. This is my Morty. 6 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,846 We're going from reality to reality 7 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,282 asking Ricks to contribute 8 00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:17,151 to the Citadel of Ricks Redevelopment Fund. 9 00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:18,419 What are you, stupid? 10 00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:19,863 We're done with the Citadel of Ricks. 11 00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:21,598 I was never on board with it in the first place. 12 00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,291 That's why I murdered everyone in charge 13 00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:24,292 and left it to rot. 14 00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:26,126 Oh, that was you. 15 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,962 They tried to murder him first. Aw, geez. 16 00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:30,464 Well, you'll be happy to know 17 00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:31,799 that the council's gone now... 18 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,301 Yeah, he knows. He murdered them. 19 00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:35,503 You want to rein in your Morty? Every day. 20 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,137 The Citadel of Ricks Redevelopment Fund- 21 00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:39,540 - donates. - Morty, he's not gonna donate. 22 00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:41,275 You're pitching the Policeman's Ball 23 00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:42,676 to a black teenager here. 24 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,645 Let's go. You don't have to be a dick. 25 00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,614 I think you know that's not true. Geez. 26 00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:48,225 I didn't know there were still Ricks and Mortys 27 00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:49,650 living on the Citadel. 28 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:50,827 I wonder what their day-to-day lives are like. 29 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:51,995 Well, you can keep wondering that 30 00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:53,321 while we go on a fun, fresh, 31 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:54,888 self-contained adventure to Atlantis. 32 00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:57,691 Anyone continuing to explore the Citadel is either stupid 33 00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,460 or one of the unfortunate millions 34 00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:01,329 held hostage by their terrible ideas. 35 00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:03,597 Man, I'm glad I'm not one of them! 36 00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,113 Citadel Morning News. 37 00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:54,558 News about the Citadel in the morning, 38 00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:55,883 pretty self explanatory. 39 00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:57,951 Good morning. I'm Rick D-716B. 40 00:01:57,985 --> 00:02:00,288 And I'm Rick D-716. Must be nice. 41 00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:02,890 Coming up, gravity outages in East Sanchez Heights... 42 00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:05,192 And, is your uranium-powered cellular matrix 43 00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:06,193 making you sick? 44 00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:07,928 The answer may not surprise you. 45 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,797 It's... Yes, it's uranium. 46 00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:12,065 Those stories and more, after this break. 47 00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:15,603 60 iterations off the central finite curve, 48 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,571 there's a Rick that works more with wood 49 00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,139 than polarity plating. 50 00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:22,543 His name is Simple Rick but he's no dummy. 51 00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:23,977 He realized long ago 52 00:02:24,011 --> 00:02:26,213 that the greatest thing he'd ever create 53 00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:27,415 was his daughter. 54 00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:28,716 I love Daddy! 55 00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,217 We captured that moment... 56 00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,252 We run it on a loop through Simple Rick's mind... 57 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,288 And the chemical it makes his brain secrete 58 00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:37,758 goes into every Simple Rick's "Simple Wafers" Wafer Cookie. 59 00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,660 Come home to the impossible flavor 60 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,295 of your own completion. 61 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:43,297 Come home to Simple Rick's. 62 00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:44,465 Just one day remains 63 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,400 before our newly democratic Citadel 64 00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:47,768 elects its first President, 65 00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,103 it's anyone's race among the Rick candidates. 66 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,572 But a certain other candidate 67 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:52,849 should be getting at least one vote 68 00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,442 for most adorable. 69 00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:55,909 That's right. 70 00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:57,186 The Morty party candidate's still in the race, 71 00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:59,112 and you just gotta love him for that. 72 00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:01,482 Here you see him in his little Morty suit waving... 73 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,183 Isn't that adorable? Little jackass. 74 00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:04,785 Uh, yeah, I think we actually have 75 00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:06,119 the audio for his speech here... 76 00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:07,755 Aw, geez. Aw, man. 77 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,289 I'm gonna lose the election and stuff. 78 00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:12,793 We had a good run, sir, 79 00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,762 but I think it's time to pull out of the race. 80 00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,864 I feel pretty confident about tonight's debate. 81 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:19,633 You shouldn't, sir. You should be terrified. 82 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,702 Maybe you should find a little faith, young man. 83 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:24,338 You don't pay me to have faith. 84 00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:26,039 And we're the same age! 85 00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:34,748 - Aah! - Whoa! 86 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,686 Oh. Sorry. I-I was expecting... 87 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,053 A Rick partner? 88 00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:42,055 Lesson one, rookie, expect the unexpected. 89 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:43,156 Now, get in. 90 00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:46,994 Mortys are human! 91 00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,397 Get the fuck off the car, you Rickless fuckin' animal! 92 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:51,665 Whoa! The election's got these yellow shirts 93 00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,701 more riled up than a picture-day Jessica. 94 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,002 That's pretty harsh, sir. 95 00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,737 So report me. Nobody gives a fuck. 96 00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,806 Look, I'm just saying, it makes me a little sad 97 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,517 to hear a Morty cop calling Mortys animals. 98 00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:02,318 Well, it makes me sad to hear another Rick cop 99 00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:03,844 buying into his sensitivity training. 100 00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,589 Well, I'm glad to know there's more like me. 101 00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:07,247 Oh, there was one. 102 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,149 Why do you think that seat was empty? 103 00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:11,752 Robbery at Fifth and Avenue. 104 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,086 Fifth and. 105 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:14,822 That's Morty Town. Unit seven responding. 106 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,356 Ohh! 107 00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:19,993 Good idea, Rick. 108 00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:21,529 Good idea, Rick. 109 00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:23,096 This is a great adventure. 110 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,065 This is a great adventure. 111 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,200 I love being your new Morty. 112 00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:30,270 I love being your new Mor... Farty. 113 00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:32,205 Very amusing, Mr. Smith. 114 00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:34,708 Almost as amusing as when your first Rick 115 00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:36,744 was decapitated on Zorpantheon Nine. 116 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,111 Or was that your third Rick? 117 00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:39,713 How many Ricks have you had? 118 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,048 Five. I see. 119 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:43,884 So you are top of the class in something. 120 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:46,119 Tomorrow you'll be transferred to your new Ricks. 121 00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:48,221 Hopefully they will be your last. 122 00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:50,223 Yes, Slow Ri... Tall Morty? 123 00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:53,026 Di... did I gradgitate this time yet? 124 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,895 Anything's possible, Tall Morty. 125 00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:01,234 I guess we won't be seeing each other after this, huh? 126 00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:03,303 I say we make our last day count. 127 00:05:03,336 --> 00:05:05,873 I say... we go to the Wishing Portal. 128 00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,541 That's a myth. It's not a myth. 129 00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:08,776 My first Rick's fourth Morty 130 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,410 knew a Rick whose Morty went there. 131 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:12,112 If we're not here for graduation, 132 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,147 our butts are gonna wind up in Morty Town. 133 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,584 I thought your last Rick fused you with a lizard, 134 00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:17,618 not a chicken. 135 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,252 Okay, fine. I'm in. 136 00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:20,454 Me too. 137 00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:24,191 What the hell? I thought I saw a fly. 138 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,135 Listen up, fuck nuts. 139 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,004 I've been your supervisor for five years, 140 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:39,106 but all shitty things must come to an end 141 00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,274 and I have been promoted to regional manager. 142 00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:44,420 Yeah, I feel the same way, may be never meet again. 143 00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:45,613 Of course, 144 00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:47,156 that makes the position of supervisor available, 145 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,817 so, as of next week, the ass you'll be kissing 146 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,184 will be that of... 147 00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:53,854 K-83, affectionately known as Cool Rick. 148 00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:56,657 I know I'm new to the Citadel, 149 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,626 and some of you might not think I put in my time, 150 00:05:58,659 --> 00:05:59,960 but what can I say? 151 00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:01,128 I'm Cool Rick! 152 00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,496 Yo! Ha! Ha! Check me out! 153 00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:05,165 All right knuckleheads, any questions? 154 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,169 All right, then, back to work, you gold rickers. 155 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,847 No Ricks, no families, 156 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,950 high off their asses, and running amuck. 157 00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:24,552 Mortys are raised to be sidekicks. 158 00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:27,320 Without a side to kick, they just start kicking. 159 00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,790 They were... They were about my height, 160 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:31,158 around 14 years old... 161 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,502 oh, their... their shirts were yellow! 162 00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:34,394 Yeah, make sure you get that down. 163 00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:36,163 Any mutations, augmentations? 164 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,198 Uh... Three eyes? A tail? Maybe a buzz cut? 165 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,867 No. Just four normal Mortys. 166 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,802 Normal? Put it in your blog. 167 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:43,336 Let me turn over a few rocks. 168 00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:46,339 Aw, geez. Hey, what's goin' on, fellas? 169 00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:47,708 Aw, geez, man. Nothing, man. 170 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,076 We're just hanging out and stuff. 171 00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,343 I hear that. Aw, geez. 172 00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:51,755 I guess I'm supposed to be figurin' out 173 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,156 who robbed the store across the street. 174 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:54,848 But, aw, geez, I don't know. 175 00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,149 Aw, geez man, that sucks 176 00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:57,426 that your Rick's making you do that. 177 00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:59,720 He's not my Rick. He's my partner. 178 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,188 Aw, geez. 179 00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,657 Well, maybe the uniform makes a big difference, 180 00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:04,858 who am I to say. 181 00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:07,260 To me, you just look like a sidekick. 182 00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:08,829 Whoa! Call me a sidekick one more time! 183 00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:09,930 Call me a sidekick! 184 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,040 Hey, man! Come on! Aw, geez! 185 00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:12,332 Wanna see how I paint a wall? 186 00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:13,867 It was the Morty Town Locos, man! 187 00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:15,669 The... The Morty Town Locos! 188 00:07:15,703 --> 00:07:17,104 Aah! Aah! 189 00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:19,372 Do you realize how many codes you just violated? 190 00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:20,340 Aw, geez, Rick. 191 00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:22,042 What do I know about knowin' stuff? 192 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,877 Get in the fuckin' car. 193 00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:24,778 More lasers. 194 00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,046 You could take more time 195 00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,581 to answer the question if you like. 196 00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:31,585 Okay, Juggling Rick, 197 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:34,221 how would you solve the Citadel's financial crisis? 198 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,555 First off, can I just say 199 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,524 that I believe this Citadel is the greatest 200 00:07:37,557 --> 00:07:38,597 in the entire multi-verse. 201 00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:40,728 Now, I believe the answer to your question 202 00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,195 has three parts. 203 00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:46,133 First, education spending must get much higher... 204 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,101 But it has to be balanced with defense... 205 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,103 Whoa! Whoa! Can we fact check this please? 206 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,872 Never mind. Who am I kidding. 207 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:52,906 This race is over. 208 00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:55,743 And that's how you run a Citadel! 209 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,278 Candidate Morty, 210 00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,756 the number of displaced Mortys is soaring 211 00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,915 while Rick satisfaction levels are plummeting, 212 00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:03,617 and the divide between the two groups 213 00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:04,752 has never been wider. 214 00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,253 Solve that one real quick. 215 00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:10,924 I don't see a divide between Ricks and Mortys... 216 00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:11,992 Oh, shocker. 217 00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:15,121 I'd like to offer are-buttal. 218 00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:17,164 Gentlemen, gentlemen, 219 00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:18,757 I think we can all agree on one thing... 220 00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:20,768 Well, it came out as two things 221 00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:21,935 but you get the idea. 222 00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:23,503 You guys finished? 223 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:25,839 The division I see 224 00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,074 is between the Ricks and Mortys 225 00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,942 that like the Citadel divided... 226 00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,310 and the rest of us. 227 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:33,013 I see it everywhere I go. 228 00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,514 I see it in our schools 229 00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:36,349 where they teach Mortys we're all the same, 230 00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:38,618 because they're threatened by what makes us unique. 231 00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:39,853 I see it in our streets 232 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,254 where they give guns to Mortys, 233 00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:42,856 so we're too busy fighting each other 234 00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,958 to fight real injustice. 235 00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:46,493 I see it in our factories 236 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,862 where Ricks work for a fraction of their boss' salary 237 00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:51,999 even though they're identical and have the same IQ. 238 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,703 The Citadel's problem isn't homeless Mortys 239 00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:56,736 or outraged Ricks. 240 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,275 The Citadel's problem is the Ricks and Mortys 241 00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:04,011 feeding on the Citadel's death... 242 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,112 Holy Shit! 243 00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:08,148 He's headed for the flavor core! 244 00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:10,317 But I've got a message for them, 245 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:13,286 from the Ricks and Mortys keeping it alive, 246 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,356 a message from the Ricks and Mortys 247 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,226 that believe in this Citadel 248 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,661 to the Ricks and Mortys that don't. 249 00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:24,832 You're outnumbered. 250 00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:32,672 Holy Shit. 251 00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:33,907 I don't believe it. 252 00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,242 I-I ca believe it. 253 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:37,711 I know. That's why you're fired. 254 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:40,714 Sounds like you're looking for work. 255 00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:42,015 I can offer you 256 00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:43,583 a very enticing compensation package. 257 00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:45,552 First, let's talk benefits... 258 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,989 Daddy loves you. That's Daddy's good girl. 259 00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,190 Your life is a lie, man. 260 00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:50,791 All your life's are lies! 261 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:51,424 All your life's are lies! 262 00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:52,826 Don't you get it? 263 00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:54,503 They told us we were special because we were Ricks, 264 00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:56,339 but they stripped us of everything that made us unique! 265 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:57,664 We know how you feel. 266 00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:59,366 We're working-stiff Ricks just like you. 267 00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,168 But our assembly line is justice. 268 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,202 What are your demands? 269 00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,503 I-I-I want a portal gun. 270 00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:04,905 Unregistered, untraceable, 271 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,741 with enough fluid to take me off this God damn prison! 272 00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:10,577 The media's outside. Well, keep 'em there. 273 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,446 Anyway, so yeah, the suspect says the Citadel's a lie, 274 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,415 built on lies, and some other shit. 275 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,350 I say appreciate the life you have, 276 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:19,086 because it can always be worse. 277 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,087 Back to you, Ricks. 278 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,255 Thank you, Rick 0716-C. 279 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,291 That fuckin' guy. Tell me about it. 280 00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:25,401 Meanwhile, in election news, 281 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:26,726 an unexpected turn of events 282 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,361 as Morty from the Morty Party 283 00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:29,797 soars to the top of the polls. 284 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:32,065 - Morty! Morty! Morty! - Yes. 285 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,701 Morty, what's your original reality and where's your Rick? 286 00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:37,537 Gosh, we moved around so much it's hard to remember. 287 00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,406 I see every Rick as my Rick, 288 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:41,975 I hope they see me as their Morty. 289 00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:44,311 Another? Please? With less water? 290 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:45,712 Hey, cheer up, pal. 291 00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:47,480 A Morty's gonna be president. 292 00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:48,648 Imagine this kisser 293 00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:50,250 getting blamed for everything. 294 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:52,252 I guess I should've had more faith. 295 00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:55,255 It's not faith you need. It's fear. 296 00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,825 What's this? 297 00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:58,892 It's secrets. 298 00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:00,436 Wh... wh... wh... What do you think it is? 299 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:01,895 Look at how I'm dressed. 300 00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:03,763 Having taken aim at the system, 301 00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,598 are afraid at all for your safety? 302 00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:07,500 I'd rather live in hope than fear. 303 00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:08,936 If I had to fear anything, 304 00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,179 I'd fear other people being afraid. 305 00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:11,404 Of fear. Itself. 306 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,406 But. No, I'm not afraid. 307 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,342 Hey, Rick, man, when there's a Morty president, 308 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,077 you gonna lick my balls or what? 309 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,611 Sheeeet, grandson, 310 00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:20,289 you keep me peelin' skrabquams and slippin' nib nibs, 311 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,115 I'll lick whatever ain't nailed down. 312 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:24,784 Hands in the air! 313 00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:26,619 What the hell, man? What the hellin' hell? 314 00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:28,355 You guys doing a little chemistry homework 315 00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:30,290 with Grandpa? Is this what I think it is? 316 00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:31,825 Bootleg portal fluid. 317 00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:37,965 I guess his math was off. 318 00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:39,499 Search the place. 319 00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:46,840 Are... are you... my new... R... Rick? 320 00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,375 It's okay, Morty. 321 00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:55,315 Jesus. 322 00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:56,659 He stabbed me. He got me bad, Morty. 323 00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:58,651 Shh. It's okay. You're okay. 324 00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:00,320 You were right. 325 00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:02,198 Everything I learned at the academy was... Doesn't matter. 326 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,491 Nothing's wrong with putting your faith in a Morty. 327 00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,326 You just gotta pick the right one. 328 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,028 Why is there a crib in here? 329 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,163 Something they do. To make you feel bad. 330 00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:12,565 Boy, I got us knee-deep in paperwork, huh? 331 00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:14,667 Go to the car and grab a medi-pack. 332 00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:16,403 Let me worry about this. 333 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,345 What happened? Same old story... 334 00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:27,780 Mortys killing Mortys. 335 00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:33,686 Almost... got it... 336 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,022 Hey! 337 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,224 Y'all get the hell away from my damn mega fruit! 338 00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,826 Sic 'em, boy! 339 00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,228 I don't wear this dag-nab hat 340 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:42,595 and commit to this rural character 341 00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:44,831 so you can eat for free while you come of age! 342 00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:47,200 I bet the Wishing Portal leads to a reality 343 00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:48,701 where they're... Where all... 344 00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:50,513 Where it's a bunch of French toast with boobies. 345 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,248 I bet it leads to a place with a bunch of fry... 346 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,840 Fly... flies everywhere. 347 00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:55,608 Yeah, I bet it goes nowhere. 348 00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:57,044 I bet it's a big hole 349 00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:58,721 where the Citadel dumps all its broken dreams. 350 00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,880 Slick, why do you have to be so dramatic? 351 00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,715 You wanna know why? Because of this. 352 00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:04,918 I'm part of an experimental line of Mortys 353 00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:06,419 with a drama implant. 354 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,421 How do you think it feels, Fat Morty, 355 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,290 to know that no matter where I go, 356 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,624 I'll always be the one 357 00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:13,593 that makes everybody sad and a little bored. 358 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,895 Slick, that implant isn't who you are, okay? 359 00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:18,631 You also roll up your sleeves. 360 00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:20,934 I thought I was Left-Handed Morty. 361 00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:22,569 Then you should use your left hand 362 00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:23,937 to eat more vegetables. 363 00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:26,406 Hey, there. How you doing? Great to meet you. 364 00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:27,574 I'm a plumber, sir. 365 00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:28,751 I'm a Rick, and I'm a plumber. 366 00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:30,210 That doesn't sound like Rick work. 367 00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:31,820 You didn't come to the Citadel to be a plumber, did you? 368 00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:33,280 Ha! Ha! I sure didn't, sir! 369 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,647 Mr. Morty! Mr. Morty! 370 00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:36,616 I cloned myself so you could kiss me as a baby! 371 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,218 This is just like a Morty baby! 372 00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:43,256 Hey, did you, uh, end up getting a new job? 373 00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:44,424 Yeah, I did. 374 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:45,457 Assassinating you. 375 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,428 I'm okay... 376 00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:50,097 I'm okay... 377 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,898 I'm... 378 00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,938 Aw, man. Aw, geez. 379 00:13:58,972 --> 00:13:59,939 Aw, hah. 380 00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:01,841 You look like you could use a good time. 381 00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:04,311 One dance for $10, two for $25. 382 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,679 No, thank you... And bad math. 383 00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:08,781 Ha! Ha! Yeah! This is a good time! 384 00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:10,917 What is this place? The Creepy Morty. 385 00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:12,785 What is it your kind's always saying... 386 00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:14,321 "Don't think about it." 387 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,788 Come on. 388 00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:17,100 There's someone important I want you to meet. 389 00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:18,858 Ah, Bubbala! 390 00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:20,827 How'd it go with the Morty Town Locos? 391 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,195 They had a little accident. 392 00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:24,497 They won't be causing any trouble anymore. 393 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:28,135 Those were bad Mortys. Very bad Mortys. 394 00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:30,670 Big Morty likes to contribute 395 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,639 to keeping the peace in Morty Town. 396 00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:34,274 Think of him as a "drug lord" 397 00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:35,975 and us as cops on his payroll. 398 00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,010 Morty... 399 00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:38,278 - Which Morty? - Which Morty? 400 00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:39,512 M... m... my partner. 401 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,614 Morty, you're right. Morty Town is bad. 402 00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:43,483 But that doesn't mean that we have to be. 403 00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:44,884 Hey, what's going on here, Morty? 404 00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:46,319 - Which Morty? - Which Morty? 405 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,720 The cop, morons! 406 00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:49,889 Don't worry about Rick, Big Morty. 407 00:14:49,922 --> 00:14:50,890 He's new. 408 00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:52,459 He doesn't understand how it works. 409 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,727 That's what you said about your last partner. 410 00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:57,664 Why would you say something like that, Big Morty? 411 00:14:57,697 --> 00:15:00,700 You're fuckin' things up for both of us here. Wrong. 412 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,370 He's fuckin' things up for both of you. 413 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,872 Unless he takes the money. 414 00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,141 Big Morty, you're under arrest. 415 00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:10,577 S... smartest man in the universe. 416 00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,918 They're just props! Th... they're just props! 417 00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:22,655 Not so big now, are ya? 418 00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,357 I never was! It was figurative! 419 00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:26,659 That's enough. If we don't kill him, he'll talk. 420 00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,661 If you do, I'll talk. 421 00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:30,263 O... one thing's for sure, 422 00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,041 Y... y'all don't have to worry about Cowboy Morty talkin'. 423 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:35,368 This little cowpoke's gonna mosey up on out of here. 424 00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:37,704 You told me to put my faith in the right Morty. 425 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,439 I've got faith in you, partner. 426 00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:41,208 Do the right thing. 427 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:43,843 Oh, Grandpa Rick, 428 00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:45,678 I-I don't wanna be on the Citadel anymore. 429 00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,046 I wanna be a regular kid. 430 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,416 I-I wanna to go to school and throw balls around 431 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,050 and masturbate. 432 00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:00,627 What the hell happened in there? 433 00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,229 Same old story. 434 00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:04,097 Ricks killing Mortys. 435 00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:06,933 Okay, man, okay, we got your portal gun. 436 00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,407 What the hell's he doing? 437 00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:16,743 Where... where am I? A bad place. 438 00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:18,578 But you're going to a better one soon. 439 00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:21,080 Hey! Hey! 440 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:21,981 No, no, no, no... 441 00:16:22,014 --> 00:16:23,250 Whaa... 442 00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:24,217 God damn it! 443 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:25,918 A portal to the blender dimension? 444 00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:27,330 That's the oldest trick in the book! 445 00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:29,389 I'm a Rick! I'm more Rick than any of you! 446 00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:31,891 Then you should know you just killed your only leverage! 447 00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,593 Then comes and get me, motherfucker! 448 00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:40,967 Stop. I'm Rick D. Sanchez the Third, 449 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,902 owner of this here wafer establishment, 450 00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:45,071 and I say that the Rick in there is right. 451 00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:46,606 He's more Rick than any of you. 452 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:47,774 He's a terrorist! 453 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:48,941 What Rick isn't? 454 00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:50,643 This Citadel was founded by Ricks 455 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:51,944 for Ricks to be free! 456 00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:53,446 What's your name, young man? 457 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,915 Rick. And I'm... The same age as me, I know. 458 00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:58,017 How long have you worked here? 15 years. 459 00:16:58,050 --> 00:16:59,686 What the hell have we become? 460 00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,164 Whatever time you were gonna make him serve, 461 00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,322 he's served it. 462 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,623 It ends now. 463 00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,425 Come with me, friend. Where are we going? 464 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:06,793 To your new life. 465 00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:09,496 Which starts with walking the fuck out of here. 466 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:10,830 Yo J-22, give 'em hell! 467 00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:15,468 There's a Rick that held a factory hostage 468 00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:18,271 after murdering his boss and several coworkers. 469 00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:22,309 The factory made cookies, flavored them with lies. 470 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,544 He made us all take a look at what we were doing. 471 00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:27,214 And in the bargain, he got a taste of real freedom. 472 00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:30,717 We captured that taste, 473 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,018 and we keep giving it to him 474 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,820 so he give it right back to you, 475 00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,054 in every bite of new. 476 00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:37,056 Simple Rick Freedom Wafer Selects. 477 00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:39,326 Come home to the unique flavor 478 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,628 of shattering the grand illusion. 479 00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:44,331 Come home to Simple Rick. 480 00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,633 It is real. 481 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,669 After you. 482 00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:58,010 There it is. The Wishing Portal. 483 00:17:58,044 --> 00:17:59,579 They say for your wish to come true, 484 00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:02,849 you have to give up something really important. 485 00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:05,051 For me, that's my panini maker. 486 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,153 I wish for a million sandwiches. 487 00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:09,722 And, yes, I see the irony. 488 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,224 I guess I wish I had something cooler 489 00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,092 than this dumb-ass surfer necklace. 490 00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:15,027 I wish incest porn had... 491 00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:16,896 Had a more mainstream appeal. 492 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,398 For... For a friend of mine. 493 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,667 None of those things are gonna happen, you know. 494 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,935 Morty wishes never come true. 495 00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:24,203 Not on the Citadel. 496 00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,705 Then why did you bring us here? 497 00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,340 Because I wish that would change. 498 00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,776 I wish anything about this life would change. 499 00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:31,053 Well, I hope you're putting something 500 00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:33,212 pretty God damn important in there. 501 00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:34,447 Me too. 502 00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:35,915 But I doubt it. 503 00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:38,285 - No! - Slick! 504 00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:41,721 M... maybe... 505 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,290 maybe it went somewhere nice. 506 00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:44,891 Garbage dump. 507 00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:47,093 Stand back. 508 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,032 He had to be stopped. 509 00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:55,134 He... he cou... he c... Couldn't be allowed to win. 510 00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:57,103 Then you should've worked on your aim, bro. 511 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,572 He's alive? No, no, no. You gotta listen to me. 512 00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:00,573 I-I worked for him. 513 00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:01,908 I was his campaign manager. 514 00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:03,976 That Morty is not what he seems. 515 00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:06,579 Yeah, well, no Morty seems like a president. 516 00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:08,615 He... won? Yeah. 517 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,917 It was a blow out. 518 00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:12,452 I would hardly call it a blow out. 519 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,162 It was almost close enough to trigger a recount. 520 00:19:14,186 --> 00:19:16,956 Jesus. What are you joke security now too? 521 00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:18,725 Why am I still here? 522 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,226 I heard he confessed to everything. 523 00:19:20,259 --> 00:19:22,429 Your case has been reviewed. You're free to go. 524 00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:25,598 But... I violated at least a dozen departmental codes. 525 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,600 New department. New codes. 526 00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,001 New Citadel. 527 00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:30,803 Did we miss graduation? 528 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,071 Where are the new Ricks? 529 00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,940 No graduation. No new Ricks. 530 00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:35,975 The school's curriculum is changing. To what? 531 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,777 I don't know, and I don't have to know. 532 00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:38,945 I've been fired. 533 00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:40,347 Good luck, turds. 534 00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:43,215 Holy crap. Slick's wish came true. 535 00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,919 Sorry I'm late, Mr. President. 536 00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:49,622 Had a little crisis at work. Worth it! 537 00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:50,690 It's no problem. 538 00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,291 Uh, a little more off the top. 539 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:54,794 You were saying, Garment District Rick. 540 00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:56,496 We were saying, "President" Morty, 541 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,931 that we don't care who sits in that seat. 542 00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:00,933 A Rick, a Morty, a god damn Jerry... 543 00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:02,335 It doesn't matter. 544 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:04,012 We've been running the Citadel since before the council 545 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,038 and you'll find that we're still running it now. 546 00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:07,607 Does he really speak for everyone here? 547 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:08,941 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 548 00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:10,353 Well, I think it's important to be clear. 549 00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,845 Raise your hand if he speaks for you. 550 00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:19,886 Is... that enough off the top? 551 00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:22,188 I don't know. Is it? 552 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,666 - Yes, yes, god damn, yes. - I think it's great. 553 00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,324 Good. 554 00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,326 This seems like a good time for a drink 555 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:30,997 and a cold calculated speech with sinister overtones. 556 00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:34,667 A speech about politics... 557 00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:36,369 About order... 558 00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:38,505 Brotherhood... 559 00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:39,906 Power. 560 00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:42,174 But speeches are for campaigning. 561 00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:45,244 Now is the time for action. 562 00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:45,037 Whoo! Yeah! 563 00:21:45,071 --> 00:21:47,206 Atlantis, baby! That was amazing. 564 00:21:47,239 --> 00:21:48,908 You got some of that mermaid puss. 565 00:21:48,941 --> 00:21:51,454 I'm really hoping it wasn't a one-off thing and I can see her again. 566 00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:52,479 By the way, hey, um, 567 00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:54,113 you're still not curious about what 568 00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:55,724 what might've happened at that crazy Citadel place? 569 00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:56,749 Psh. Not at all, Morty. 570 00:21:56,783 --> 00:21:57,984 That place will never have 571 00:21:58,017 --> 00:21:59,819 any bearing over our lives ever again. 572 00:21:59,852 --> 00:22:01,387 Unlike that mermaid puss! Whoo! 573 00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:03,623 Yeah! We're going back for seconds! Yeah! Yeah! Whoo! 574 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,167 We're gonna do that shit every week, man! 575 00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:07,326 That was Atlantis! Oh, shit!