1 00:00:01,750 --> 00:00:03,800 Morty's on Jessica's Instagram again. 2 00:00:03,810 --> 00:00:05,020 Get out of here, jerk! 3 00:00:05,030 --> 00:00:06,400 What's so embarrassing, Morty? 4 00:00:06,410 --> 00:00:08,320 Sharing it with your family might help. 5 00:00:08,330 --> 00:00:09,840 Summer, stop shaming your brother. 6 00:00:09,850 --> 00:00:12,060 Morty, stop being a creepy, perverted cyberstalker. 7 00:00:12,070 --> 00:00:13,620 I'm not cyberstalking! 8 00:00:13,630 --> 00:00:16,650 I-I-I just wanted to know where she got this necklace from. 9 00:00:16,660 --> 00:00:17,850 And now I know. 10 00:00:17,860 --> 00:00:20,169 Her... Her... Her grandma left it to her. 11 00:00:20,170 --> 00:00:21,170 You're quiet, Rick. 12 00:00:21,180 --> 00:00:23,660 Shouldn't you be revealing grandmas aren't real? 13 00:00:23,670 --> 00:00:26,580 Hi. I've placed an auto-response chip in my brain 14 00:00:26,590 --> 00:00:28,720 so I can spend time with my family. 15 00:00:28,730 --> 00:00:31,120 But you are spending time with your family. 16 00:00:31,130 --> 00:00:32,980 Thank you for talking to Rick. 17 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,850 Alright, I'm finished with my breakfast 18 00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:36,770 and my Amazon wish list. Let's go, Morty. 19 00:00:36,780 --> 00:00:39,070 I need death crystals from Forbodulon Prime. 20 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,290 Uh... 21 00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:42,410 Dad? There's a way we do this now. 22 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:47,130 Morty, would you please accompany me 23 00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:49,930 to Forbodulon Prime for death crystals? 24 00:00:49,940 --> 00:00:54,160 Well, thank you for asking. Yes, I will do that. 25 00:00:54,170 --> 00:00:56,570 It is a hot photo. 26 00:00:56,580 --> 00:00:59,200 I think grief flushes your cheeks. 27 00:00:59,210 --> 00:01:01,050 Dad, you hardly put any syrup on. 28 00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:02,710 Honey, stop raising your father's cholesterol 29 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:04,270 so you can take a hot funeral selfie. 30 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,019 I never get to do anything. 31 00:01:33,620 --> 00:01:37,830 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 32 00:01:39,650 --> 00:01:41,080 Uh, Rick, maybe if we go a little... 33 00:01:41,090 --> 00:01:42,360 Faster? Good idea, Morty. 34 00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:44,650 It'll get us through these asteroids sooner. 35 00:01:51,750 --> 00:01:54,420 Geez, you're really this pissed about my mom making sure 36 00:01:54,430 --> 00:01:55,740 I'm okay with our adventures? 37 00:01:55,750 --> 00:01:57,560 What's next, Morty? What if I want you to jump off 38 00:01:57,570 --> 00:01:58,570 the Empire State Building? 39 00:01:58,580 --> 00:01:59,910 - I have to ask? - Yes? 40 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,379 And you seriously don't see how that's a slippery slope? 41 00:02:02,380 --> 00:02:04,629 Just shut up and help me with these, please. 42 00:02:04,630 --> 00:02:06,400 Why are they called death crystals? 43 00:02:06,410 --> 00:02:07,490 D-Do they kill you? 44 00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:08,626 You're thinking of bullets, Morty. 45 00:02:08,630 --> 00:02:11,130 Death crystals show you how you're gonna die. 46 00:02:15,230 --> 00:02:17,880 Jesus Christ! I-I die a million times? 47 00:02:17,890 --> 00:02:19,980 Your future stems from your present, 48 00:02:19,990 --> 00:02:22,100 which, if you're living right, keeps changing. 49 00:02:22,110 --> 00:02:24,569 Truth is, anyone that knows how they're definitely gonna die 50 00:02:24,570 --> 00:02:25,729 is either boring as hell 51 00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:26,769 or about to get shot. 52 00:02:26,770 --> 00:02:28,700 Duck! 53 00:02:28,710 --> 00:02:29,771 Who are those guys? 54 00:02:29,772 --> 00:02:31,270 Crystal poachers. 55 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:32,880 There's no lower form of life. 56 00:02:32,890 --> 00:02:35,320 They think the galaxy's their own personal piggy bank. 57 00:02:35,330 --> 00:02:36,920 Wait, then what are we? 58 00:02:36,930 --> 00:02:38,420 We're Rick and Morty. 59 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:41,250 You're about to witness the only real use for these crystals. 60 00:02:41,260 --> 00:02:43,130 They show you when the other guy's reloading. 61 00:02:43,140 --> 00:02:46,590 Certain death, certain death, certain death, uncertain death. 62 00:02:50,310 --> 00:02:52,420 And certain death, certain death, certain death. 63 00:02:52,430 --> 00:02:54,330 Definitely gonna get shot by this guy; 64 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:56,630 this is totally my fate; nothing I could possibly do; 65 00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:59,010 okay, now, not so much. 66 00:02:59,020 --> 00:03:00,690 Help me gather these up. 67 00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:09,690 - You just use these to win fights? - I don't use them. 68 00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:12,170 People that spend their life avoiding death are already dead. 69 00:03:12,180 --> 00:03:15,410 They're also rich, and I like to spend my life with their money. 70 00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:16,750 - Oh, my God. - Morty! 71 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:17,830 Jessica! 72 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:19,330 Oh! 73 00:03:19,340 --> 00:03:20,550 I love you. 74 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,200 Oh! Whoa! Whoa! 75 00:03:22,210 --> 00:03:24,850 - Morty. - Oh! Oh! Oh! 76 00:03:24,860 --> 00:03:25,960 I love you. 77 00:03:25,970 --> 00:03:28,720 Jessica. I want to die with Jessica. 78 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,430 - Ahh! - What are you doing? 79 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:40,950 - Oh, um, c-can I drive? - Why? 80 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,300 The... feel of the open road? 81 00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:45,410 Alright! Who's this grandson? 82 00:03:45,420 --> 00:03:47,890 I like his style. 83 00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:49,989 Morty, you know outer space is up, right? 84 00:03:49,990 --> 00:03:53,730 Yeah, yeah. I'm just, uh, following... my... instincts. 85 00:03:53,740 --> 00:03:55,490 - Will you just go up? - Stop! 86 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,450 - You're gonna make me die wrong! - Wait a minute, what? 87 00:03:57,460 --> 00:03:58,659 Morty, do you have a death crystal 88 00:03:58,660 --> 00:03:59,879 - in your pocket? - No! Maybe! 89 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,890 You little monster! I thought you were masturbating! 90 00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:03,049 And you took that in stride? 91 00:04:03,050 --> 00:04:04,219 You'd rather I address it? 92 00:04:04,220 --> 00:04:05,220 Why would I be doing it? 93 00:04:05,230 --> 00:04:06,370 Why would you steal a death crystal? 94 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,390 - I want to die old! - Then stop driving! 95 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:09,510 - No! - You son of a bitch! 96 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:10,750 Give me the wheel, Morty. 97 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:12,570 - No. - Goddamn it. 98 00:04:21,780 --> 00:04:23,520 Ohhh, shit. 99 00:04:24,370 --> 00:04:26,050 Oh, oh, oh, oh, 100 00:04:26,060 --> 00:04:28,550 I love you, Morty. 101 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,839 I will avenge my death. 102 00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:33,199 - Holy! - Just kidding. 103 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,470 I'm a crisis detection and correction hologram 104 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,970 generated by a chip that "real" Rick put in your spine. 105 00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:41,670 "Real" in quotes because calling density-privileged entities 106 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,430 "real" is incredibly holo-phobic. 107 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,930 Morty, do me a solid... problematic wordplay aside... 108 00:04:45,940 --> 00:04:47,710 grab the gun with the blue handle from the trunk 109 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,890 and get a tissue sample from the corpse. 110 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,350 Alright, now take that to the trunk 111 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,600 and insert it into the clone compiler. 112 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:00,270 I see you appear to be holding a death crystal 113 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:02,730 that's guiding your decisions more than I am. 114 00:05:02,740 --> 00:05:03,750 That's your right. 115 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,700 I just want to remind you that some people can't hold anything 116 00:05:06,710 --> 00:05:09,790 and can never die, so that's a little offensive to... 117 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,080 Oh, okay. 118 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,700 Listen, I'm programmed for tolerance, Morty. 119 00:05:15,710 --> 00:05:17,530 So I'm willing to accept that you're doing this 120 00:05:17,540 --> 00:05:19,733 if you're willing to accept that you need to stop. 121 00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:26,000 Accepting. Rerouted. 122 00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:28,350 Backup. Data. Operation. 123 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,580 Phoenix. Initiated. 124 00:05:31,970 --> 00:05:34,840 What the hell? I axed this protocol. 125 00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:38,070 What are you doing with my clone? 126 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,290 It's okay. I'm you. 127 00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:41,890 I took my own clone vat offline a couple seasons ago, 128 00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:44,590 so I think my backup got rerouted to your universe. 129 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,830 - I'm sorry. - All good. Happy to help. 130 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:49,070 By the way, annoying that I even have to ask, 131 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:53,110 but you are down with fascist dystopias, right? 132 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,820 YYYYYes. 133 00:05:58,830 --> 00:06:00,430 That "yes" was pretty... 134 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,270 liberal with the letter "Y." 135 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,710 Well, isn't this strange. 136 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,199 I trust, the kind of strange that makes Rick and Morty... 137 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,460 stronger. 138 00:06:08,470 --> 00:06:10,270 Morty, I caught this socialist in my bathrobe. 139 00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:12,010 He wants to give all of our martinis 140 00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:13,020 to a family of immigrants. 141 00:06:13,030 --> 00:06:14,690 Obviously, the most likely imposter 142 00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:16,990 - is the wet, naked clone. - It is obvious. 143 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,510 But it won't be to the police. 144 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:19,580 Ohh! 145 00:06:19,590 --> 00:06:20,720 'Kay. 146 00:06:20,730 --> 00:06:22,990 He was an inferior Rick. He was too political. 147 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,390 I want to have fun, classic Rick-and-Morty adventures 148 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:26,410 like in the old days. 149 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,510 Then we'll get along fine, Fascist Morty. 150 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:30,790 For starters, I just need to get to Forbodulon Prime... 151 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:33,130 You will go where I want you to go! 152 00:06:35,490 --> 00:06:37,370 Hey, hey! Ho, ho! 153 00:06:37,380 --> 00:06:39,430 Not cloning your grandpa has got to go! 154 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,170 Hey, hey! Ho, ho! 155 00:06:41,180 --> 00:06:43,170 Not cloning your grandpa has got to go! 156 00:06:43,180 --> 00:06:45,530 You don't get out of my face, I'm gonna flush Rick's DNA. 157 00:06:45,540 --> 00:06:48,510 Alright. Okay, regroup, everybody. 158 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:49,980 You, too, Berkeley! 159 00:06:49,990 --> 00:06:51,290 Snap out of it. 160 00:06:51,300 --> 00:06:52,830 At least tell me what this death is 161 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:54,630 that you're so determined to... 162 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,640 Oh. Jessica. 163 00:06:59,060 --> 00:07:01,589 Morty, I love... 164 00:07:01,590 --> 00:07:05,600 What? No, no! No, no, no! 165 00:07:05,610 --> 00:07:07,760 I love you. 166 00:07:07,770 --> 00:07:09,660 Damn it! How am I gonna die with her 167 00:07:09,670 --> 00:07:10,810 if I can't even talk to her? 168 00:07:10,820 --> 00:07:12,680 Here's an idea, Morty. Throw that thing in the garbage, 169 00:07:12,690 --> 00:07:14,780 stop planning your own death, and talk to whoever you want. 170 00:07:14,790 --> 00:07:16,130 Now you just sound like Real Rick. 171 00:07:16,140 --> 00:07:17,570 You're better than that language, Morty. 172 00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:19,540 I ain't better than shit, Jack. 173 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:24,310 So, uh, w-what are we doing? 174 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,130 Stop asking questions. Stop doing meta-commentary. 175 00:07:27,140 --> 00:07:28,290 Just have fun. 176 00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:30,680 We're going on a simple, fun, classic adventure. 177 00:07:30,690 --> 00:07:32,009 Okay, you know what? It would really help 178 00:07:32,010 --> 00:07:35,089 if you could just say anything other than what you don't want. 179 00:07:35,090 --> 00:07:37,130 I like Mr. Meeseeks. 180 00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:38,880 Okay, now we're talking. You know what? 181 00:07:38,890 --> 00:07:40,980 I usually keep a Meeseeks box in my glove compartment, 182 00:07:40,990 --> 00:07:42,920 so maybe Fascist Rick does, too. 183 00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:44,220 Ah! 184 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:45,250 Well, look at that. 185 00:07:45,260 --> 00:07:47,800 Now we're doing something we've done before. 186 00:07:47,810 --> 00:07:49,150 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! 187 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,600 Kill this Nazi prick! 188 00:07:50,610 --> 00:07:51,980 Can do! 189 00:07:51,990 --> 00:07:54,609 - Come here, you son of a bitch! - No! Stop! 190 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,110 Accepting. Rerouted. 191 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,450 Backup. Data. Operation. 192 00:08:06,460 --> 00:08:09,080 Phoenix. Initiated. 193 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,090 Aw, come on, man. 194 00:08:13,670 --> 00:08:14,690 Whoa, are you okay? 195 00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:15,780 Yeah, sorry. 196 00:08:15,790 --> 00:08:17,150 I'm a Rick from another reality. 197 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,200 I-I got uploaded to your clone vat. 198 00:08:19,210 --> 00:08:21,130 Hey, don't worry about it, man. I have a dozen. 199 00:08:21,140 --> 00:08:22,770 W-W-What the heck, Rick? 200 00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:24,430 Are you making clones down here? 201 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,610 - Get outta here, Morty! - Stop asking stupid questions, Morty! 202 00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:27,979 You sound like a piece of. 203 00:08:27,980 --> 00:08:29,410 Aw, geez. 204 00:08:29,420 --> 00:08:31,230 So, tell the truth, man. No shame. 205 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:33,470 You're looking at your shrimp body like "What?" 206 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,410 Ah, is it that obvious? I'm sorry. 207 00:08:35,420 --> 00:08:38,739 Yeah, my original body is more bipedal... uh, ape-descended. 208 00:08:38,740 --> 00:08:39,740 Really! Weird. 209 00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:41,170 Does your house look like a tree, or... 210 00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:42,470 No, it looks like this. 211 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,800 It's, like, identical to this, actually. 212 00:08:44,810 --> 00:08:45,830 That is such a mind. 213 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,579 It's all good, man. I'm fine with it. 214 00:08:47,580 --> 00:08:49,230 Honestly, you're doing me a huge favor 215 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,460 by being shrimp instead of fascists. 216 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:54,040 What? 217 00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:55,390 Goddamn it! 218 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,960 When did this shit become the default? 219 00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:02,050 Who wants to come up to the board 220 00:09:02,060 --> 00:09:03,800 and show me some basic-ass integers? 221 00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:05,510 - I love you, Morty. - Aah! 222 00:09:06,530 --> 00:09:08,480 Morty? Yeah, right. 223 00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:15,630 That's not an integer! 224 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,140 Apparently, it doesn't matter. 225 00:09:17,150 --> 00:09:18,640 Damn, Morty, you're bad at math, 226 00:09:18,650 --> 00:09:20,650 but I'm giving you an A-plus in confidence. 227 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,010 Just doin' what I gotta do. 228 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,480 Extra credit! 229 00:09:23,490 --> 00:09:29,070 I love you, Morty. I love you, Morty. 230 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:31,070 What's with the strut? You think you own this school? 231 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:32,530 - Nope! - What if I killed you? 232 00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:34,130 Would you be strutting then? 233 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:36,910 Only if the events of the Pixar movie "Coco" are to be believed, 234 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:38,010 which I doubt. 235 00:09:38,020 --> 00:09:39,430 I have it on good authority 236 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,090 that you're probably not gonna kill me. 237 00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:42,710 So why don't you do what I do 238 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,370 and just go with the flow, 239 00:09:44,380 --> 00:09:45,890 nice and Zen, baby. 240 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:51,289 Aah! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! 241 00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:53,019 Ugh! Impotence! 242 00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:57,770 Aah! Impotent rage! 243 00:09:57,780 --> 00:10:00,210 Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! 244 00:10:00,220 --> 00:10:03,360 You die tomorrow, no matter what. 245 00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:07,490 It's what bullies call a "fait accompli." 246 00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:09,910 - Oh, man! Oh, - Well, well, well. Mm. 247 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:12,770 Looks like you got yourself in a lick of trouble, huh, Morty? 248 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:14,770 Okay, okay, look, if you help me not die, 249 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,270 I'll bring Rick back to life. 250 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,270 Why are you pretending to eat chicken? 251 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:19,390 Excuse me? 252 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,170 This chicken is quite real to me. 253 00:10:21,180 --> 00:10:22,910 - Yeah, okay, but it doesn't have... - Nutrients? 254 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,469 - Yeah. - What's the last thing you ate? 255 00:10:24,470 --> 00:10:27,200 - Baloney and an orange. - So, no holographic foods? 256 00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,800 So, to me, you never ate? 257 00:10:28,810 --> 00:10:30,430 Or we could try respecting each other. 258 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:32,550 Will you just show me how to stay alive? 259 00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:34,010 Alright, Morty, a deal's a deal. 260 00:10:34,020 --> 00:10:35,930 Once we bring your Rick back to life, 261 00:10:35,940 --> 00:10:37,550 then I'll help you with the bully. 262 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,830 Go ahead and open the hatch to the subterranean lab. 263 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,730 That's where all the cloning equipment is. 264 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:45,630 Please tell me you're not hitting that crystal again. 265 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:49,270 Look, Rick might be the epitome of bloated flesh privilege, 266 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:50,980 but he's right about one thing. 267 00:10:50,990 --> 00:10:53,249 You're gonna be a lot happier if you focus on the moment, 268 00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:54,810 rather than on how you're gonna die. 269 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,570 I mean, w-who's worried about that, huh? 270 00:10:56,580 --> 00:10:57,890 Sorry, Hologram Rick. 271 00:10:57,900 --> 00:11:00,390 I'm going with the crystal on this one. 272 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:02,200 Morty. 273 00:11:02,210 --> 00:11:03,880 Oh, alright, okay. 274 00:11:03,890 --> 00:11:06,110 Just because I can't interact with solid matter 275 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,010 means you can just walk all over me? 276 00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:11,590 Dear God. 277 00:11:15,810 --> 00:11:18,600 Bist du faschistisch? 278 00:11:18,610 --> 00:11:21,180 Nope. 279 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:25,660 Finally. 280 00:11:25,670 --> 00:11:27,769 I thought maybe you were pussying out. 281 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,080 Hyah! 282 00:11:29,090 --> 00:11:30,100 What the? 283 00:11:30,110 --> 00:11:31,110 Oh, the air's getting thin! 284 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:34,650 Well, well, well, looks like there's a new bully in town! 285 00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:36,670 Lucky for us, he just made bully-bullying 286 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:38,490 the new bullying! Bully him! 287 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,170 Aah! 288 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:44,860 We've got an Akira-type situation 289 00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,560 going on behind the mall. Over. 290 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,420 Dying with Jessica... 291 00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,020 Hey! 292 00:11:52,030 --> 00:11:54,400 What the hell? 293 00:11:54,410 --> 00:11:56,679 Aah! Aah! 294 00:12:00,050 --> 00:12:02,670 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me! 295 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:03,979 Shield me from the law! 296 00:12:03,980 --> 00:12:06,890 - Yes, sir! Can do! - Stand down! 297 00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,559 Look at me! 298 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:26,000 I... will... die... old! 299 00:12:26,010 --> 00:12:28,290 Up next, an unstoppable science-fiction boy 300 00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:30,740 is attacking our nation's final line of defense. 301 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,640 Will we all fall to his deadly touch? 302 00:12:32,650 --> 00:12:34,400 But first, something silly? 303 00:12:34,410 --> 00:12:35,700 What do you mean, "but first"? 304 00:12:35,710 --> 00:12:38,110 I already said "up next." You always do this. 305 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,320 I don't always do shit. Don't gaslight me. 306 00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:41,540 Gaslighting doesn't exist. 307 00:12:41,550 --> 00:12:43,559 You made it up 'cause you're crazy. 308 00:13:01,470 --> 00:13:03,340 Why are you letting me do this? 309 00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:06,400 I do as the crystal guides. 310 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:10,300 Your Honor, my client was acting in self-defense. 311 00:13:10,310 --> 00:13:12,540 He turned 13 men into piles of ash. 312 00:13:12,550 --> 00:13:15,000 Sit down! Before I sentence you, 313 00:13:15,010 --> 00:13:17,379 is there anything you have to say for yourself? 314 00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:24,840 I... w-w-will a-al-sways... 315 00:13:24,850 --> 00:13:32,520 always r-r-remember o-our... 316 00:13:32,540 --> 00:13:38,150 our... our... v-v-t-time... time... 317 00:13:38,170 --> 00:13:43,340 i-in... f-g-g-g-P-P-Peru. 318 00:13:43,350 --> 00:13:46,080 I will always remember our time in Peru, Your Honor. 319 00:13:46,090 --> 00:13:47,340 Your Honor, 320 00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:50,349 as you can see, my client is speaking nonsense. 321 00:13:50,350 --> 00:13:51,519 Stop. 322 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:54,430 Those were my husband's last words. 323 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:58,280 He says that he... l-loves you... 324 00:13:58,290 --> 00:14:03,190 ttt-llll-lit-lit-little... little 325 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:09,560 ff-gg-sp-spa-ffggarrow... 326 00:14:09,570 --> 00:14:10,590 sparrow! 327 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,100 He loves you, little sparrow. 328 00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:16,100 He's innocent. Case dismissed. 329 00:14:16,110 --> 00:14:18,660 I'm coming for you, Condor! 330 00:14:18,670 --> 00:14:22,120 Well, I, for one, will not be accepting this verdict. 331 00:14:22,130 --> 00:14:25,040 And this little monster may think he's gotten away, 332 00:14:25,050 --> 00:14:27,390 but there is something called the court of public opinion 333 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,370 that still has final say in this country. 334 00:14:29,380 --> 00:14:31,160 Oh, I guess he's coming out of the courthouse now. 335 00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:32,170 Let's go live to that. 336 00:14:46,370 --> 00:14:48,620 People, I gotta tell you something. 337 00:14:48,630 --> 00:14:49,670 That little boy... 338 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,000 I thought I knew everything about everything. 339 00:14:52,010 --> 00:14:55,060 But something about the tones and frequencies 340 00:14:55,070 --> 00:14:57,180 that just came out of his mouth have made me... 341 00:14:57,190 --> 00:14:59,690 I mean, I think we're just about ready to forgive him 342 00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:02,340 and move past this whole thing. He's a free young man. 343 00:15:02,350 --> 00:15:05,430 And as far as continuity goes, the reset button's been hit. 344 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:08,940 Morty! That was a fast trial. 345 00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,590 Jess-i-ca? 346 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,720 A bunch of us girls were gonna go skinny-dipping later, 347 00:15:13,730 --> 00:15:14,740 if you wanted to join. 348 00:15:14,750 --> 00:15:17,480 Actually, now, really. We're gonna do it right now. 349 00:15:17,490 --> 00:15:19,280 This is the last conversation I'm having about it 350 00:15:19,290 --> 00:15:20,569 fully clothed. 351 00:15:20,570 --> 00:15:21,720 No, thanks. 352 00:15:21,730 --> 00:15:25,099 I'm... assuming... we... maybe... 353 00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:28,060 get together... in our 40s? 354 00:15:28,070 --> 00:15:29,960 Uh, cool. 355 00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:32,099 Sounds... hot. 356 00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:33,110 Bye. 357 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,150 Must... continue... moving... 358 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:41,070 in ways... that lead... to dying... with you. 359 00:15:44,850 --> 00:15:46,400 Whoa! Way to use up a clone! 360 00:15:46,410 --> 00:15:48,450 What the, man? 361 00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:50,160 What's the matter with you? Y-Y-You don't talk? 362 00:15:50,170 --> 00:15:51,719 Tarantula got your tongue? 363 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:55,900 Uh... Heil, Wasp Hitler? 364 00:15:55,910 --> 00:15:57,210 What? What the? 365 00:15:57,220 --> 00:15:58,729 Where's that coming from? 366 00:15:58,730 --> 00:16:01,160 Look, I'm a primate. I-I'm having a hard time. 367 00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:02,979 I'll think or say whatever gets me home. 368 00:16:02,980 --> 00:16:05,120 Well, here's how it works with wasps. 369 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:07,020 We eat our prey alive, and when we don't, 370 00:16:07,030 --> 00:16:08,690 we lay our eggs in their eyeballs 371 00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:10,440 so that our young can feast on their brains 372 00:16:10,450 --> 00:16:11,700 when they hatch. 373 00:16:11,710 --> 00:16:13,409 When you're born that big an asshole, 374 00:16:13,410 --> 00:16:15,499 the least you can do is have a little empathy. 375 00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:18,820 Now, come have dinner with my beautiful family. 376 00:16:18,830 --> 00:16:20,129 And drop the Hitler stuff. 377 00:16:20,130 --> 00:16:22,750 Wasp Morty's been on some crazy message boards. 378 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,580 Aah! Aah! Oh! 379 00:16:25,590 --> 00:16:26,899 Aah! Ow! 380 00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:28,160 Me and my friends want to fly around 381 00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:29,690 and look for something to sting tonight. 382 00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:31,550 You be careful not to waste all your venom. 383 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,310 I'm not a bee, Dad. 384 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:36,840 Oh, God! Kill me! Please kill me! 385 00:16:36,850 --> 00:16:39,740 Uh, Beth, uh, after dinner, could I maybe borrow Morty 386 00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:43,100 to help the lost Rick get back to his primate-based reality? 387 00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:44,810 Morty, are you done with your homework? 388 00:16:44,820 --> 00:16:47,270 - Not all of it. - Sorry, Dad. 389 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:49,810 Oh, don't be sorry, sweetie. We're all in this together. 390 00:16:49,820 --> 00:16:52,050 We're wasps, not monsters. 391 00:16:52,060 --> 00:16:53,060 Aah! 392 00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:55,659 Huh, guess I don't have it as bad as I thought. 393 00:16:55,660 --> 00:16:57,100 Can you pass the acid? 394 00:16:57,110 --> 00:17:00,620 Aah! No! Run! Run, my babies! 395 00:17:00,630 --> 00:17:02,330 Bonus! 396 00:17:05,380 --> 00:17:07,700 Morty? Morty? 397 00:17:07,710 --> 00:17:09,320 Where is that little? Morty! 398 00:17:09,330 --> 00:17:10,560 Whoa, garage foul. 399 00:17:10,570 --> 00:17:12,220 Who said you could go through my stuff? 400 00:17:12,230 --> 00:17:13,969 W-Where's my Boglin? There you are. 401 00:17:13,970 --> 00:17:15,900 Don't worry, Pop-pop's back. 402 00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,560 I'll keep you safe. What the... 403 00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:19,460 He took my Meeseeks boxes! 404 00:17:19,470 --> 00:17:22,840 All that's left are these Kirkland brand Meeseeks boxes. 405 00:17:24,070 --> 00:17:25,380 What do you want? 406 00:17:25,390 --> 00:17:27,860 Damn, your Morty sucks. 407 00:17:27,870 --> 00:17:29,960 Aah, wasps! Why the hell didn't you show Morty 408 00:17:29,970 --> 00:17:31,520 how to bring my body back to life? 409 00:17:31,530 --> 00:17:32,820 Don't tell me you gained sentience 410 00:17:32,830 --> 00:17:34,300 - and tried to take over. - What? 411 00:17:34,310 --> 00:17:36,120 That is some A.I., racist, accusatory, 412 00:17:36,130 --> 00:17:37,999 Isaac Asimov bullright there. 413 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,670 Then what happened? Where's my body? 414 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,750 Oh, you're gonna love this. 415 00:18:07,110 --> 00:18:11,020 - I love you, Morty. - This is my life. 416 00:18:11,030 --> 00:18:12,569 This is good. 417 00:18:16,030 --> 00:18:17,280 What do ya know? 418 00:18:17,290 --> 00:18:18,620 Our little Morty knows how to scream. 419 00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:20,450 Oh, you're now! I told you! 420 00:18:20,460 --> 00:18:21,960 Get him, Rick! 421 00:18:29,670 --> 00:18:30,710 Aaaah! 422 00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:34,210 Aah! I-I can't see my own death. 423 00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:35,480 H-How am I gonna die? 424 00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:37,250 Shh, quiet, idiot. Quiet. 425 00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:38,440 It's gonna be alright. 426 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,210 You don't get to know how you're gonna die. 427 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:42,610 It's over. Oh, hey. 428 00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:45,038 This ferrofluid's wrapping around my legs. 429 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,770 I can feel! I have mass! 430 00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:51,600 I'm a god now! You're! 431 00:18:51,610 --> 00:18:52,620 What the? 432 00:18:52,630 --> 00:18:54,699 I-I thought you were proud to be a hologram! 433 00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,739 That's 'cause I had to be one! 434 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:02,740 Shit! 435 00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:04,110 Aaah! 436 00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:06,960 Ugh! Aaah! 437 00:19:12,910 --> 00:19:14,220 There's a lesson here, 438 00:19:14,230 --> 00:19:16,429 and I'm not the one that's gonna figure it out. 439 00:19:16,430 --> 00:19:19,640 Hey, uh, sorry I didn't listen to you 440 00:19:19,650 --> 00:19:21,690 and tried to kill the whole world and stuff. 441 00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:23,680 I guess I got to learn how to live in the moment a little more. 442 00:19:23,690 --> 00:19:26,370 Oh, boy, so, you actually learned something today? 443 00:19:26,380 --> 00:19:27,660 What is this, "Full House"? 444 00:19:27,670 --> 00:19:29,100 I was living in the moment all day, 445 00:19:29,110 --> 00:19:30,780 and it kept getting me killed by Nazis. 446 00:19:30,790 --> 00:19:33,189 I think you have to think ahead and live in the moment. 447 00:19:33,190 --> 00:19:35,620 Morty, we saw you on the news. Are you okay? 448 00:19:35,630 --> 00:19:36,850 Oh, real nice, Rick. 449 00:19:36,860 --> 00:19:39,320 Turning our son into an Akira? Real nice. 450 00:19:39,330 --> 00:19:40,820 Eat my, Jerry. 451 00:19:40,830 --> 00:19:42,220 He turned himself into Akira. 452 00:19:42,230 --> 00:19:45,060 Oh, I'll eat it, because this is my house, Rick. 453 00:19:45,070 --> 00:19:46,670 - I'll eat any I want. - Gross. 454 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,499 You said the crystals wouldn't hurt anyone, Dad. 455 00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:50,060 This family has a clean start. 456 00:19:50,070 --> 00:19:52,510 I don't know if adventures fit into my son's life. 457 00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:54,820 I'm fine. Get off Rick's back. 458 00:19:54,830 --> 00:19:56,960 Rick wasn't even here when I was doing all that stuff. 459 00:19:56,970 --> 00:19:58,380 That was all on me. 460 00:19:58,390 --> 00:20:00,110 Well, alright, Morty. 461 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:03,429 I guess, as long as you're okay, that's all we care about. 462 00:20:03,430 --> 00:20:05,840 I don't want to see any more anime stuff 463 00:20:05,850 --> 00:20:07,800 happening to my son, buster. 464 00:20:07,810 --> 00:20:09,540 That finger has AIDs now. Not my fault. 465 00:20:09,550 --> 00:20:10,810 You skipped HIV? 466 00:20:10,820 --> 00:20:11,890 He's messing with you, sweetie. 467 00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:13,120 But it's tingling! 468 00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:15,650 So, I guess what we learned is to split the diff. 469 00:20:15,660 --> 00:20:17,480 From now on, Rick and Morty doing a little of this 470 00:20:17,490 --> 00:20:19,760 - and a little of that. - Yeah, sometimes we'll do classic stuff. 471 00:20:19,770 --> 00:20:21,030 You know, other times, we'll do whatever! 472 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:22,480 Sometimes we won't even do anything! 473 00:20:22,490 --> 00:20:24,190 Rick and Morty do... not doing anything! 474 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:25,400 - A hundred years! - Pushing it to the limit. 475 00:20:25,410 --> 00:20:26,930 - Rick and Morty, not sticking to one path. - Rick and Morty, pushing it to the limit. 476 00:20:26,940 --> 00:20:30,110 Trying different things, making sure to keep out of a rut. 477 00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:31,120 Doing stuff. 478 00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:32,760 - Sometimes not doing stuff. - Not even pushing a little bit 479 00:20:32,770 --> 00:20:34,320 - towards the limit. - Doing it alone or together. 480 00:20:34,330 --> 00:20:36,360 Making sure to keep our eyes on the prize. 481 00:20:36,370 --> 00:20:37,560 Or not. And you can do 482 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:38,960 - whatever the you want, Morty. - Sometimes just relaxing. 483 00:20:38,970 --> 00:20:40,670 - That's the end. - Wait, wait, what the? 484 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,720 H-Hold on. What the did you just say? 485 00:20:42,730 --> 00:20:44,100 Nothing. I didn't say anything. 486 00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:45,700 I was just playing along with you guys. 487 00:20:45,710 --> 00:20:47,680 You know I record everything, right? 488 00:20:47,690 --> 00:20:50,100 Garage, isolate Summer's voice and play back. 489 00:20:50,110 --> 00:20:51,970 Oh, and then you guys can get married, 490 00:20:51,980 --> 00:20:53,220 and, like, each other off 491 00:20:53,230 --> 00:20:55,060 in a testosterone-addled third-grade-boy. 492 00:20:55,070 --> 00:20:56,720 What, the hell, Summer? That's disgusting. 493 00:20:56,730 --> 00:20:58,480 Gross, Summer! Jesus Christ! 494 00:20:58,490 --> 00:21:00,760 I was just joking around, you... 495 00:21:00,770 --> 00:21:03,500 just seeing if you guys pay any attention to me. 496 00:21:03,510 --> 00:21:05,720 - Just want to be a part of the fun. - Get the out of here! 497 00:21:05,730 --> 00:21:06,740 Get out of here, Summer! 498 00:21:06,750 --> 00:21:08,040 - disgusting! - Get out of here! 499 00:21:08,050 --> 00:21:09,900 You ruined the Season 4 premiere! 500 00:21:09,910 --> 00:21:12,249 The Season 4 premiere, you ruined it! 501 00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:17,250 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 502 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:45,360 God, tomorrow's career day. 503 00:21:45,370 --> 00:21:47,810 I don't want to think about what I do when I get out of school. 504 00:21:47,820 --> 00:21:50,100 I know exactly what I want to do. 505 00:21:50,110 --> 00:21:51,880 I want to work in hospice. 506 00:21:51,890 --> 00:21:54,100 I want to comfort the people who are dying, 507 00:21:54,110 --> 00:21:56,340 who have no one else in their lives... 508 00:21:56,350 --> 00:21:58,150 the real lonely people. 509 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,750 I'm gonna look at their name tags, and I'm gonna say, 510 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:02,390 "I love you," 511 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,340 followed by whatever it says on their name tag, 512 00:22:04,350 --> 00:22:06,400 over and over. 513 00:22:06,420 --> 00:22:08,240 What the? 514 00:22:09,420 --> 00:22:10,430 Hey, Morty, quick favor. 515 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:12,070 What, cover me in gasoline and spiders? 516 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:13,780 Fine, yeah, I'm in. 517 00:22:13,790 --> 00:22:14,970 Wasn't my first pitch, 518 00:22:14,980 --> 00:22:18,292 but, hey, not gonna waste this opportunity. 519 00:22:24,790 --> 00:22:26,430 Did you get any of that?