1 00:00:04,990 --> 00:00:06,050 We're out of syrup. 2 00:00:06,060 --> 00:00:07,360 Huh. You know what? 3 00:00:07,370 --> 00:00:09,730 Maybe I'll use my intern. 4 00:00:09,740 --> 00:00:12,150 - Glootie? - Good? 5 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:13,960 - Thanks, Glootie. - Anything else? 6 00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,290 Do you want to develop an app? 7 00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:17,100 - No thanks, Glootie. - Hey, what's up, Glootie? 8 00:00:17,110 --> 00:00:18,620 Hi, Morty. Do you want to develop an app? 9 00:00:18,630 --> 00:00:20,000 - No thanks. - Rick, why does it say, 10 00:00:20,010 --> 00:00:22,179 "Do not develop my app," on your intern's forehead? 11 00:00:22,180 --> 00:00:23,500 Why, you want to develop one? 12 00:00:23,510 --> 00:00:24,740 Ah, I'm glad you asked that, Jerry. 13 00:00:24,750 --> 00:00:26,470 It's so you don't develop his app. 14 00:00:26,490 --> 00:00:28,690 Glootie, go make some photocopies 15 00:00:28,710 --> 00:00:29,710 - of something. - Cool. 16 00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:32,059 Well, if anyone wants to develop an app with me, I'm down. 17 00:00:32,060 --> 00:00:34,990 He seems to really want to develop an app. 18 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,000 He really does, sweetie, but nobody's gonna do that. 19 00:00:37,010 --> 00:00:38,490 Now, if you'll excuse me, 20 00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:40,720 I've got a quick solo adventure to go on, 21 00:00:40,730 --> 00:00:42,780 and this one will not be directed 22 00:00:42,790 --> 00:00:44,400 - by Ron Howard. - He's gonna go poop. 23 00:00:44,410 --> 00:00:45,720 When Grandpa Rick pats his belly like that 24 00:00:45,730 --> 00:00:47,360 and leaves without Morty, it means he's going to go poop. 25 00:00:47,370 --> 00:00:49,839 He's a shy pooper. He has a secret pooping place. 26 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:51,290 Man, fuck you, Summer. 27 00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:54,210 Honey, why can't you get this excited about your SATs? 28 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,960 Well, I'm man enough to simply say, "I'm going to poop," 29 00:00:56,970 --> 00:00:58,910 and I'd be honored to have 30 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:00,780 - Ron Howard involved. - Good job, hon. 31 00:01:00,790 --> 00:01:02,390 - Way to go, Dad. - We're rooting for ya. 32 00:01:06,450 --> 00:01:08,050 He's really putting you to work, huh? 33 00:01:08,060 --> 00:01:09,319 Did you want to develop an app? 34 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:11,690 - I'll pass, Glootie. - Hmm, your loss. 35 00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:13,319 Oh, yeah? Why's that? 36 00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:14,850 Eh, it's an app you'd want to develop. 37 00:01:14,860 --> 00:01:17,290 - Can I ask what it is? - Of course you can. 38 00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:19,930 That's always the first step in app development. 39 00:01:19,940 --> 00:01:22,890 Ah. 40 00:01:23,460 --> 00:01:24,840 50/50! Final offer! 41 00:01:52,430 --> 00:01:56,640 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 42 00:03:20,850 --> 00:03:23,960 Reverse digestion extrapolation. 43 00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:26,689 Time to meet your maker. 44 00:03:28,330 --> 00:03:29,729 What are you guys doing? 45 00:03:29,730 --> 00:03:31,163 Did you develop an app? 46 00:03:31,164 --> 00:03:33,260 Rule number one in app development, son... 47 00:03:33,270 --> 00:03:34,360 never follow the rules. 48 00:03:34,370 --> 00:03:37,600 Except when the rule is tattooed on an alien's forehead, Dad. 49 00:03:37,610 --> 00:03:39,369 Why do you think Rick would have that rule? 50 00:03:39,370 --> 00:03:41,060 'Cause he's a disrupt-o-phobe. 51 00:03:41,070 --> 00:03:42,090 No, Dad, no. 52 00:03:42,100 --> 00:03:43,919 To keep something horrible from happening, 53 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:45,740 something he's too lazy to explain. 54 00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:47,550 Guys, we're getting our first users. 55 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,220 Whoa, this new app just matched me 56 00:03:53,230 --> 00:03:55,700 with a guy that is su my ty. 57 00:03:55,710 --> 00:03:57,940 Super my type. Learn to abbre. 58 00:03:57,950 --> 00:03:59,000 Hey! 59 00:03:59,010 --> 00:04:01,930 Your su ty works at Jersey Mike's 60 00:04:01,940 --> 00:04:03,940 and sees 25 Phish shows a year. 61 00:04:03,950 --> 00:04:06,490 - That is so Danny. - Summer! 62 00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:07,760 - Danny? - Summer Smith? 63 00:04:07,770 --> 00:04:09,310 Danny Publits from Lovefinderrz 64 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:10,440 with two "R's" and a "Z"? 65 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:13,109 I ran all the way here while staring at your profile. 66 00:04:13,110 --> 00:04:14,840 I tripped on a fire hydrant and fell down, 67 00:04:14,850 --> 00:04:16,820 so I'm covered in gravel that stuck to my sweat. 68 00:04:16,830 --> 00:04:17,970 And even after a shower, 69 00:04:17,980 --> 00:04:20,381 I'll still be into a jam band for old junkies, 70 00:04:20,382 --> 00:04:22,540 but I think this world cares too much about bands 71 00:04:22,550 --> 00:04:24,789 and too little about love. 72 00:04:24,790 --> 00:04:27,250 - And I think I love you. - Me, too. 73 00:04:27,260 --> 00:04:29,760 Hi, I'm my underage daughter's mother. 74 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,259 Nice to... whoa! 75 00:04:31,260 --> 00:04:33,520 Come on. Just met. 76 00:04:33,530 --> 00:04:34,980 Uh, this isn't working. 77 00:04:34,990 --> 00:04:36,520 Wait. What are you... 78 00:04:36,530 --> 00:04:37,900 Never mind. 79 00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:40,760 I quit, I'm gay, and I love Xander. 80 00:04:40,770 --> 00:04:43,230 Stupid phones are destroying us. 81 00:04:44,330 --> 00:04:45,340 Hey, sweetie. 82 00:04:45,350 --> 00:04:47,500 Honey, our daughter ran off with a Frisbee golfer 83 00:04:47,510 --> 00:04:49,400 because of some app with a really dumb, 84 00:04:49,410 --> 00:04:50,700 really forgettable name. 85 00:04:50,710 --> 00:04:54,390 Like a really dumb, uncreative, super sweaty name. 86 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:55,920 - Anyway, I'll be late. I love you. 87 00:04:55,930 --> 00:04:58,230 Got it. I love you, too. 88 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,650 Okay, Glootie, take the app down. 89 00:05:00,660 --> 00:05:03,257 Can't take it down. I'm just an intern. 90 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,080 Uh, that's not how apps work. 91 00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,820 Then make it how it works. 92 00:05:09,830 --> 00:05:12,780 This isn't how making things work works. 93 00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:14,009 Get... get it off the server. 94 00:05:14,010 --> 00:05:15,860 Y-You think we're stupid, but we're not. 95 00:05:15,870 --> 00:05:17,809 We know apps have something to do with servers. 96 00:05:17,810 --> 00:05:19,064 The server's on the mother ship. 97 00:05:19,065 --> 00:05:20,200 Where's the mother ship? 98 00:05:20,210 --> 00:05:21,820 - It's coming. - Take us to it. 99 00:05:21,830 --> 00:05:23,680 - No. - Yes. Shake him more, Morty. 100 00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:25,919 - That was working. - Take us to the mother ship. 101 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,409 Okay, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. 102 00:05:40,410 --> 00:05:42,289 An ominous beeping app. 103 00:05:42,290 --> 00:05:44,469 You can't stay made at a guy with this kind of talent. 104 00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:46,330 Dad, you can, and you have to. 105 00:05:52,550 --> 00:05:54,470 - Ribbit, ribbit. - Ribbit, ribbit. 106 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:55,920 - Hey, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit! - Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit! 107 00:05:55,930 --> 00:05:58,340 Look at this guy. He wants to eat me so bad. 108 00:05:58,350 --> 00:05:59,580 You want to eat me, don't you? 109 00:05:59,590 --> 00:06:01,600 - Ribbit. - Just kidding. Have some drugs. 110 00:06:01,610 --> 00:06:03,760 - Are you Vermigurber? - What does this guy want? 111 00:06:03,770 --> 00:06:05,700 - Who is this monkey? - I'm here about a sandwich. 112 00:06:05,710 --> 00:06:07,277 Oh, well you came to the right place... 113 00:06:07,278 --> 00:06:09,189 'cause you're about to get a bullet sandwich 114 00:06:09,190 --> 00:06:12,000 on two slices of whole... gun. 115 00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:14,703 You might want to get that. 116 00:06:16,370 --> 00:06:17,499 Hello? 117 00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:19,690 Dad, give the human whatever he wants. 118 00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:21,520 He knows where I live. He's crazy! 119 00:06:21,530 --> 00:06:24,139 You fucking idiot. 120 00:06:24,140 --> 00:06:27,319 I have 800,000 kids. 121 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,699 Don't forget your voicemail. 122 00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:33,750 You have 470,000 messages. 123 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,410 Oh, ah, that's half of them. 124 00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:37,970 Okay, w-w-what do you want? What do you want? 125 00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:40,290 Wait, this is seriously about sandwiches? 126 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,610 I thought this was about drugs or guns 127 00:06:42,620 --> 00:06:44,830 or the fact that I'm a fly that runs a frog restaurant. 128 00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:47,230 There's a million things that are interesting about me, 129 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,530 and none of them are sandwiches. 130 00:06:48,540 --> 00:06:51,030 - Who ordered it? - Talk to our delivery drone. 131 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,560 He... he run off to fight in the robot wars. 132 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,130 Hey, ape man, I hope this was worth 133 00:06:57,140 --> 00:06:59,050 making a whole swarm of enemies. 134 00:06:59,060 --> 00:07:02,399 It will be when I find whoever shit in my toilet. 135 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,650 Is that code for something? Someone look that up. 136 00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:07,260 If that's drug slang, I need to know it. 137 00:07:09,110 --> 00:07:10,690 Ah! 138 00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:13,790 - Mom, you can't stop true love. - Oh, yes, I can. 139 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,430 - You're assaulting me! - Keep your voice down. 140 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,890 - I'm being assaulted! - Oh, yeah? Okay. 141 00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:19,330 - Statutory rape! - Whoa. 142 00:07:19,340 --> 00:07:20,480 My daughter's about to be raped! 143 00:07:20,490 --> 00:07:21,759 No, I'm not! I'm being assaulted! 144 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,050 - Rape! - Assault! 145 00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:25,330 - Rape! - Nobody cares. It's a motel. 146 00:07:25,340 --> 00:07:27,190 Nobody's here because their life's going so great 147 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:28,930 they can afford to get mixed up in yours. 148 00:07:28,940 --> 00:07:30,339 Deal with this shit on your own. 149 00:07:30,340 --> 00:07:33,010 You can't stop us from getting a motel room. 150 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,150 Fine. I'll get one, too. 151 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,390 I'm getting the one next door, 152 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:37,160 and I'm putting a glass to the wall, and I'm listening. 153 00:07:37,170 --> 00:07:39,150 - Fine. Enjoy. - I will. 154 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,980 - I'm Danny, by the way. - You had your chance, dick. 155 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,250 - Take your app down. - T-Take... take it down. 156 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:49,530 - What? - I'm their hostage. 157 00:07:49,540 --> 00:07:51,550 - Do they have weapons? - Nope, but neither do I. 158 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,210 Do... do you have a weapon? 159 00:07:53,220 --> 00:07:54,730 No. 160 00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:56,250 - Take the app down. - Take the app down. 161 00:07:56,260 --> 00:07:57,570 I can't. I'm an intern. 162 00:07:57,580 --> 00:07:59,589 Okay, well who tells interns what to do? 163 00:07:59,590 --> 00:08:00,910 Not you, that's for sure. 164 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:02,630 Take us to whoever does, 165 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,849 or w-w-we'll... we'll punch you. 166 00:08:04,850 --> 00:08:06,350 Okay. 167 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,860 Not bad, Morty. 168 00:08:07,870 --> 00:08:09,690 Yeah, I don't know when the other shoe's gonna drop, 169 00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:12,259 but this is working pretty good so far. 170 00:08:12,260 --> 00:08:13,420 Greetings. 171 00:08:13,430 --> 00:08:15,270 We are the Monogatrons. 172 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,650 While your species was still toying with fire, 173 00:08:17,660 --> 00:08:20,270 ours mastered the science of functioning, 174 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,119 committed relationships. 175 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:23,990 As the latest planet to develop our app, 176 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:28,600 you will now witness the true power of superior intimacy. 177 00:08:28,610 --> 00:08:29,890 Take the app down. 178 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:32,716 Take it down, or... we'll... we'll... we'll punch you. 179 00:08:32,717 --> 00:08:34,990 Is there someone with a gun or... 180 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,330 It's on its way. 181 00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:37,370 The app remains up. 182 00:08:37,380 --> 00:08:39,000 So what's the evil plan? 183 00:08:39,010 --> 00:08:41,040 Does there have to be an evil plan? 184 00:08:41,050 --> 00:08:43,460 - Oh, uh, uh... - Uh, someone wanted a gun? 185 00:08:43,470 --> 00:08:44,820 I'll take it. Thanks. 186 00:08:44,830 --> 00:08:46,299 Here's the evil plan. 187 00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:47,519 - Fuck! - Goddamn it. 188 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,400 As a preapp civilization, 189 00:08:49,410 --> 00:08:52,310 your love's value is defined by scarcity. 190 00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:55,250 You are highly trained to seek it, 191 00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:59,060 and you have no idea how to maintain it. 192 00:08:59,070 --> 00:09:01,469 Had you bothered to master love, 193 00:09:01,470 --> 00:09:04,957 you would've learned by now, it is as abundant as water. 194 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,209 You know what isn't? Water. 195 00:09:07,210 --> 00:09:09,290 That shit runs out. 196 00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,470 So we'll be taking yours. 197 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,510 While your planet continues to dick around with a, uh... 198 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,470 what is their version of it called? 199 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,650 Lovefinderrz, with two "R's" and a "Z." 200 00:09:18,690 --> 00:09:20,660 - Oof. - Yeah, not my idea. 201 00:09:20,670 --> 00:09:22,670 - Goddamn. - Am I interrupting? 202 00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:26,353 - Impossible. Here she is. - Mwah. 203 00:09:26,390 --> 00:09:27,920 Your prisoners are getting away. 204 00:09:27,930 --> 00:09:29,700 Prisoners are just things. 205 00:09:29,710 --> 00:09:32,000 Connect with me. Tell me about your day. 206 00:09:32,010 --> 00:09:33,520 I had an incredible meeting. 207 00:09:33,530 --> 00:09:36,729 Did you know humans are 80% water? 208 00:09:36,730 --> 00:09:39,399 And I found a new podcast we can listen to tonight. 209 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,840 Love it. Okay, back to work. 210 00:09:41,850 --> 00:09:44,569 Find and kill those earthlings. 211 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:52,340 We're outnumbered. There's no hope. 212 00:09:52,350 --> 00:09:54,610 Then we go out in glory. 213 00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:57,500 Flesh intruder, prepare to die. 214 00:09:57,510 --> 00:09:59,379 Oh, hold on. 215 00:09:59,380 --> 00:10:01,555 My apologies, Lieutenant Commander. 216 00:10:01,556 --> 00:10:03,682 No problem. At ease, Soldier. 217 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,680 Initiate Employee Evaluation Mode. 218 00:10:08,690 --> 00:10:11,360 - Accessing delivery archive. - Okay, listen. 219 00:10:11,370 --> 00:10:13,259 You delivered an avian protein club sandwich 220 00:10:13,260 --> 00:10:15,194 with no lettu... Goddamn it. 221 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,930 Oy, scoping for this bit, then? 222 00:10:38,940 --> 00:10:41,210 Alright, a-a-alright. I know you want to have 223 00:10:41,220 --> 00:10:42,888 the big guy/little guy fight, but... 224 00:10:42,889 --> 00:10:45,307 Aw, are you fucking kidding me? 225 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:49,460 Here at the Midland Quasar, 226 00:10:49,470 --> 00:10:50,820 where, in a complete upset, 227 00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:52,959 the Robolution has overturned the lizards. 228 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,579 - It's totally unexpected. - Uh, I understand, Mr. Phillips. 229 00:10:55,580 --> 00:10:57,750 Yes. 230 00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:59,700 I believe this is yours. 231 00:10:59,710 --> 00:11:03,140 You, uh... you dropped that. 232 00:11:03,150 --> 00:11:05,090 I'll have to call you back. 233 00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:06,760 Where do you want to die? 234 00:11:06,770 --> 00:11:09,259 Susan, is conference room three available? 235 00:11:09,260 --> 00:11:12,720 Can I look at a photo of my wife while you kill me? 236 00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:14,200 Sure, but I'm doing her a favor. 237 00:11:14,210 --> 00:11:15,340 She either has terrible taste, 238 00:11:15,350 --> 00:11:17,560 or she's trapped in a marriage to a toilet thief. 239 00:11:17,570 --> 00:11:19,379 She's dead. 240 00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:20,919 And I don't mind joining her. 241 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:24,650 Life has been hollow since I lost her. 242 00:11:24,660 --> 00:11:27,120 Using your toilet was nice, though. 243 00:11:27,130 --> 00:11:28,780 I'm a bit of a shy pooper. 244 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,880 I'm ready when you are. 245 00:11:33,930 --> 00:11:35,650 Stay there. 246 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:39,780 Tell him what you told me. 247 00:11:39,790 --> 00:11:40,890 What is this? What's happening? 248 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,020 Tell him what you told me. 249 00:11:42,030 --> 00:11:43,280 My wife's still alive. 250 00:11:43,290 --> 00:11:45,540 Sh... sh... she went into remission 10 years ago. 251 00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:46,640 And what did you do today? 252 00:11:46,650 --> 00:11:48,009 Oh, I, uh, pooped 253 00:11:48,010 --> 00:11:49,879 on a really awesome toilet I found... 254 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,340 oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, oh! 255 00:11:52,350 --> 00:11:54,560 Don't use your dead wife as an excuse. 256 00:11:54,570 --> 00:11:57,160 You shit on my toilet because you don't know your place, 257 00:11:57,170 --> 00:11:58,950 and your place is nothing. 258 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,760 So next time you stumble onto a toilet 259 00:12:00,770 --> 00:12:04,169 that feels too good for your ass, trust me, it is. 260 00:12:04,170 --> 00:12:05,229 You're not gonna kill me? 261 00:12:05,230 --> 00:12:06,890 Don't tell me what to do! 262 00:12:30,230 --> 00:12:31,859 Are you fucking kidding me? 263 00:12:45,020 --> 00:12:47,040 Oh, so you like being alive? 264 00:12:47,050 --> 00:12:48,910 So why the fuck are you back here? 265 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,759 After you left, I thought about what you said 266 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,359 and how much I needed to hear it, 267 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,269 but then I thought about why you were saying it, 268 00:12:54,270 --> 00:12:55,870 who you were really saying it to. 269 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,397 You need the same thing I needed, Rick. 270 00:12:57,420 --> 00:13:00,490 You need someone to give you, permission to live. 271 00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:02,190 What the... ? 272 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:03,709 I thought you were a shy pooper. 273 00:13:03,710 --> 00:13:05,610 You know what shy pooping is, Rick? 274 00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:07,550 It's a pointless bid for control. 275 00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:09,110 You want to take the one part of life 276 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,270 that you truly think is yours, and you want to protect it 277 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,880 from a universe that takes whatever it wants. 278 00:13:13,890 --> 00:13:15,430 It took my wife. 279 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,470 It clearly took something from you. 280 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,530 We can spend our lives fighting that, 281 00:13:19,540 --> 00:13:20,899 or we can choose to be free. 282 00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:23,270 You're right, Tony. I'm done fighting. 283 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,839 Time to be free. 284 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,880 Oh, wait, you're actually gonna... Oh, God! Oh, God! 285 00:13:31,860 --> 00:13:34,390 - Where am I? - Hi, little mouse. 286 00:13:34,420 --> 00:13:37,019 Baby bee? I missed you so much. 287 00:13:37,020 --> 00:13:38,519 I never really left you. 288 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:40,310 Then you know that a few years ago 289 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,270 - I started getting into... - Strap-on porn? 290 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,210 Yes. I thought it was hot. 291 00:13:44,220 --> 00:13:46,130 - Now, come on. - Where are you going? 292 00:13:46,140 --> 00:13:47,279 - To poop. - Where? 293 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,491 Wherever you want, forever. 294 00:13:49,530 --> 00:13:50,880 My God. 295 00:13:50,890 --> 00:13:52,069 You rang? 296 00:13:52,070 --> 00:13:54,320 I'm pooping, too. 297 00:13:54,330 --> 00:13:55,670 Come, Tony. Come on. 298 00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:58,039 Come poop with me. Poop with me, Tony. 299 00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,250 Poop with me. 300 00:13:59,260 --> 00:14:00,750 What are you waiting for? 301 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,690 Aren't you gonna join us, Tony? 302 00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:05,757 Aren't you gonna join us in the pooping? 303 00:14:22,050 --> 00:14:23,270 Where are we? What is this? 304 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:24,550 That's it. Get out. 305 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:25,970 You can make a perfectly-realized, 306 00:14:25,980 --> 00:14:27,450 toilet-filled simulation of heaven, 307 00:14:27,460 --> 00:14:28,710 but you can't share a toilet? 308 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,070 Don't insult my craft. 309 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:31,410 The chemical is Globaflyn. 310 00:14:31,420 --> 00:14:33,200 It connects the whatever-you-want section 311 00:14:33,210 --> 00:14:35,090 of your brain to the whatever-you-have section. 312 00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,270 If your heaven is toilets, that's on you. 313 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:38,570 All of these people... 314 00:14:38,580 --> 00:14:40,720 Are living their wildest, meaningless dreams 315 00:14:40,730 --> 00:14:42,539 and leaving me out of them. 316 00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:45,570 People you refuse to kill and refuse to let into your life. 317 00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:48,910 An offer you rejected, so here's your last chance. 318 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,070 Goodbye forever. If you touch my toilet again, 319 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:52,270 - you die. - You need a friend. 320 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,010 I have a million cooler friends than you. 321 00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,410 - I'll be seeing you. - You'll be dying. 322 00:14:55,420 --> 00:14:57,429 - We're gonna be friends. - You're gonna be dead. 323 00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,330 So, we fight our way to the gas line, 324 00:14:59,340 --> 00:15:00,790 we cut it, and then we set a fire. 325 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:01,820 Okay. Alright. 326 00:15:01,830 --> 00:15:04,029 Morty, "Adventures of Jerry and Morty," huh? 327 00:15:04,030 --> 00:15:05,610 - Put her there. - Dad, look, y-you know, 328 00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:06,830 w-we don't need to high-five. 329 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,950 It's... it's kind of your fault that we're in this situation at all. 330 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:10,730 I know, but, you know, come on. 331 00:15:10,740 --> 00:15:13,060 - "Adventures of Jerry and Morty." - Okay. 332 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,960 Mwah. 333 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,240 Jeff, I can explain everything. 334 00:15:35,260 --> 00:15:36,639 You don't have to. 335 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,929 Can you just marry us instead? 336 00:15:38,930 --> 00:15:40,250 Jeff, don't do it! 337 00:15:40,260 --> 00:15:41,770 Richard. 338 00:15:41,780 --> 00:15:43,570 Maggie. 339 00:15:43,580 --> 00:15:46,550 - Running Bird. - Let's get out of here. 340 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,470 - Priest Witherspoon. - Josiah? 341 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,390 Let's get the fuck out of here. 342 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:54,350 Summer Smith, let's get the hell out of here. 343 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:56,270 You had me at my own name. 344 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:58,650 Oh, yeah, no. Why would I... ? 345 00:15:58,660 --> 00:16:01,650 Summer! Fucking thing. 346 00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:03,660 Come on. I can't steer this. 347 00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:08,270 What in the hell are you doing? 348 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,480 - Parenting. - That's not how I did it. 349 00:16:10,490 --> 00:16:12,280 Yeah, where's your daughter? 350 00:16:12,290 --> 00:16:14,052 Ah, you're right. 351 00:16:14,090 --> 00:16:15,470 She joined ISIS. 352 00:16:17,940 --> 00:16:21,070 It's Glootie, and he's had a change of heart. 353 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,340 And he's going to set us free. 354 00:16:22,350 --> 00:16:24,839 Actually, he's been blamed for bringing you aboard 355 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:26,064 and assigned to execute you. 356 00:16:26,065 --> 00:16:27,639 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. 357 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:30,100 What would your girlfriend think of you murdering? 358 00:16:30,110 --> 00:16:31,970 I happen to be between relationships right now. 359 00:16:31,980 --> 00:16:35,120 Really? I thought your species had perfected relationships. 360 00:16:35,130 --> 00:16:36,130 - Here. - We're not allowed 361 00:16:36,140 --> 00:16:37,950 - to use those apps. - I wonder why. 362 00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:40,739 Yeah, that's what I thought, Glootie. 363 00:16:40,740 --> 00:16:43,210 Looks like you and I... 364 00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:44,700 are all we've got. 365 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,030 I'm not helping you any more than that, 366 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:50,150 but if you can find the hangar, 367 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:51,869 grab a ship and get the hell out of here. 368 00:16:51,870 --> 00:16:53,199 Where you going, Glootie? 369 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,199 I've got a date with dumping a dating app. 370 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,210 Glootie-ootie-ooh! 371 00:16:58,220 --> 00:17:00,230 - Was that ever his thing? - No. 372 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,250 - He never exited that way. - No, first time. 373 00:17:02,260 --> 00:17:03,850 Dad, I want to say something. 374 00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:06,549 I started today disgusted and embarrassed to be your son, 375 00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:08,100 and then later I thought we were gonna die 376 00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,730 because you're a loser. 377 00:17:11,220 --> 00:17:12,880 - There's no more, is there? - Nope. 378 00:17:12,890 --> 00:17:14,860 Now quit fucking up, and let's go. 379 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,410 Is Tony here? I br... I brought him some, uh, 380 00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:20,660 Vegan Fiber Chili, delicious family recipe, 381 00:17:20,670 --> 00:17:22,650 and a box of these, uh, chocolates, sugar free. 382 00:17:22,660 --> 00:17:24,150 He can eat as many of these as he wants. 383 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,950 Anyways, uh, just wanted to drop these off, 384 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,590 and you tell him, uh, the toilet's all his. 385 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:29,959 H-He... he'll know what I mean. 386 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,710 Tony died. 387 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,250 - Excuse me? - He quit his job, 388 00:17:35,260 --> 00:17:37,570 starting living life to the fullest. 389 00:17:37,580 --> 00:17:38,930 He crashed into a tree 390 00:17:38,940 --> 00:17:41,130 space-skiing down Mount Space Everest. 391 00:17:41,140 --> 00:17:42,290 Fuck. 392 00:17:42,300 --> 00:17:45,119 There's a Mount Space Everest? 393 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:49,180 Okay. Uh, Jesus. I-I got to process this. 394 00:17:49,190 --> 00:17:50,790 Oh, no, no. You... you don't want to eat that. 395 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,020 Y-y-you'll... you'll... you'll become 396 00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,950 the opening of "The Beverly Hillbillies." 397 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,190 You know what I'm saying? A little bubbling crude? 398 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,330 - Texas tea? - I don't know these references. 399 00:17:58,340 --> 00:17:59,999 Yeah, but you have a Space Everest? 400 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,090 Watch "Space Beverly Hillbillies" 401 00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:04,620 so my jokes can land, you fucking twat. 402 00:18:20,740 --> 00:18:22,019 Now what? 403 00:18:22,020 --> 00:18:23,290 Happily ever after. 404 00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:24,770 And after that? 405 00:18:24,780 --> 00:18:26,759 We'll find out together. 406 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,725 Summer how many soul mates is that in the last week? 407 00:18:29,726 --> 00:18:32,689 Four. You can't stop me from loving who I love, Mom. 408 00:18:32,690 --> 00:18:34,090 Oh, the shit I can't. 409 00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:36,130 I'm gonna mother you until your 18th birthday, 410 00:18:36,140 --> 00:18:38,969 even if I get thrown in prison for non-consensual mothering. 411 00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:41,100 And even then, I will break out, 412 00:18:41,110 --> 00:18:43,330 come to your house, kick down your door, 413 00:18:43,340 --> 00:18:46,070 and mother your fucking face out of your stupid asshole. 414 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,079 I'm gonna daughter your brains out, bitch. 415 00:18:59,510 --> 00:19:00,580 Motherfucker. 416 00:19:00,610 --> 00:19:02,470 That's my name. Don't wear it out. 417 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,959 Gimme dat new soul mate. 418 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,429 Ad wall? 419 00:19:11,430 --> 00:19:13,939 Fuck this. 420 00:19:13,940 --> 00:19:15,775 - Ad wall? - What, they want us to pay for it now? 421 00:19:15,790 --> 00:19:17,318 Ugh, ad wall? 422 00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:20,580 Come on, Mom. Let's go home. 423 00:19:22,570 --> 00:19:24,600 Great. We lost Earth. 424 00:19:24,610 --> 00:19:26,350 We aren't defined by what we do, 425 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:27,950 and we only need each other. 426 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,850 Each other... and water. 427 00:19:29,860 --> 00:19:30,869 There's no water? 428 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,390 Honey, the whole point of conquering Earth... 429 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,299 I know the point of conquering Earth. 430 00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:36,350 - Don't talk to me like... - Like I'm thirsty? 431 00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:39,350 Like I'm your mother, you childish prick. 432 00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:40,830 How much water are you sucking 433 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:42,470 through these stupid fucking tubes on your back? 434 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,763 These tubes are cool, and I want a divorce. 435 00:19:44,764 --> 00:19:48,840 You can have one for a glass of Goddamn water. 436 00:19:48,850 --> 00:19:53,030 Look, uh, on the off-chance that you used the app 437 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:56,319 and there's someone out there waiting for you, I, uh... 438 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,269 Jerry, I didn't use it. Did you? 439 00:19:59,270 --> 00:20:01,970 Me? No. God, of course not. 440 00:20:01,980 --> 00:20:03,870 Well, then, we're all good, dawg. 441 00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:12,850 Hey, uh... Hey, uh, Tony's dad, 442 00:20:12,860 --> 00:20:16,450 uh, th-this is, um, $8 billion in your local currency, 443 00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:20,070 and, uh, this is a kit you can use to clone a new son. 444 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:21,830 He... he won't have the same brain. 445 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,690 He'll kind of be an animal man, but you can teach him stuff. 446 00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:26,070 I-I-I also wanted to let you know 447 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,710 I did explore infinite universes, 448 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:30,179 and there is a version of Tony that was completely evil 449 00:20:30,180 --> 00:20:31,820 and ended up causing a lot of genocide 450 00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,070 because of how fulfilled he was. 451 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,170 So, really, a lot of ways of looking at this 452 00:20:35,180 --> 00:20:37,550 as not much of a loss. 453 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:38,910 I understand. 454 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:42,029 It's, uh, hard losing a friend. 455 00:20:42,030 --> 00:20:43,270 - Fuck you. - What? 456 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:44,980 He's not my friend. 457 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:05,230 There he is. There's our guy. 458 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:06,319 Congrats, Tony. 459 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:07,930 Have fun with your stupid toilet 460 00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:10,050 that you get to use all by yourself now. 461 00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:12,310 Enjoy using it all by yourself while you sit there 462 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,030 and think about how nobody wants to be around you 463 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,590 and how you ruined it for yourself 464 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,120 because you're a huge piece of shit. 465 00:21:17,130 --> 00:21:18,130 Look at you sitting there, 466 00:21:18,140 --> 00:21:20,479 King Shit on his throne of loneliness. 467 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,790 Enjoy this toilet with a thousand of me 468 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,100 screaming every time you take a shit. 469 00:21:25,110 --> 00:21:27,270 All hail his majesty, 470 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:31,409 the sa-a-ddest piece of garbage in the entire cosmos. 471 00:21:31,410 --> 00:21:34,679 Long live the big, bad, doo-doo daddy. 472 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,916 May his reign last 1,000 years. 473 00:21:37,917 --> 00:21:41,921 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 474 00:22:10,850 --> 00:22:13,819 Rick, did you take the Tapatío? 475 00:22:13,820 --> 00:22:16,380 Hmm, Globaflyn? 476 00:22:18,650 --> 00:22:19,810 Thanks. 477 00:22:19,820 --> 00:22:21,999 - I could never lift it up. - No problem. 478 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:25,463 I'll be able to drink water for weeks because of you. 479 00:22:25,464 --> 00:22:27,467 It's just part of my job, ma'am. 480 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,910 Breaker one nine, this is Jerry Smith. 481 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:33,730 Uh, just finished my first delivery of the day. 482 00:22:33,740 --> 00:22:35,120 900 more to go.