1 00:00:01,520 --> 00:00:04,339 Rick, I-I'm not rated to climb something this sheer. 2 00:00:04,340 --> 00:00:06,479 Look, you're the guy that wanted an epic adventure. 3 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,479 I'm the guy with only one hover chair. 4 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:10,709 Goddammit, an alien spider just bit my finger! 5 00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:11,829 It's an alien cliff. 6 00:00:11,830 --> 00:00:13,150 You can just say spider. 7 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:17,379 You couldn't do that an hour ago? 8 00:00:17,380 --> 00:00:19,149 I was eating, and you're dirty. 9 00:00:22,010 --> 00:00:23,859 Activate anti-booby suits. 10 00:00:37,510 --> 00:00:40,082 - Total waste of snakes. 11 00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:41,399 If you want to take a beat 12 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,079 to acknowledge the sacred atmosphere, 13 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,779 it could give the cynical grave robbing 14 00:00:44,780 --> 00:00:45,799 a hint of irreverence. 15 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,239 - No, I'm... I'm good. - All right, then. 16 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:48,530 Let's loop this corpse. 17 00:00:50,856 --> 00:00:52,319 Hey, where's the... 18 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:53,799 Wait, what? 19 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,039 Is that an origami horse? 20 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:57,379 It's a calling card from Miles Knightley, 21 00:00:57,380 --> 00:00:58,979 a heist artist, 22 00:00:58,980 --> 00:01:00,299 AKA a hipster dick 23 00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:02,639 whose adventures are 60% putting a crew together 24 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:04,719 and 40% revealing that the robbery already happened, 25 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:05,859 and he's not worth our time 26 00:01:05,860 --> 00:01:07,199 because he's a hack piece of shit! 27 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,179 I'm gonna kill him! Let's go, Morty. 28 00:01:09,180 --> 00:01:12,539 This temple's for lame baby dipshits. 29 00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:15,439 Who disturbs my slumber? 30 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:18,519 Also, who rigs a tomb to crush the buried person? 31 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:20,624 Isn't the point to protect... Aah! 32 00:01:48,890 --> 00:01:53,139 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - — www.addic7ed.com — 33 00:01:55,580 --> 00:01:58,959 This dork. He has a convention now? 34 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:00,079 Come on. What are we doing? 35 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,359 Huh! Tuxedo scuba lessons? Ooh! 36 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,919 A signing with Catherines Alpha through Omega Joneses! 37 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,419 You know, this is great source material 38 00:02:07,420 --> 00:02:08,789 for this heist movie that I'm writing. 39 00:02:08,790 --> 00:02:10,519 Don't get drawn into the culture, Morty. 40 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:13,000 Stealing stuff is about the stuff, not the stealing. 41 00:02:13,010 --> 00:02:14,460 Where is the entrance? 42 00:02:14,470 --> 00:02:15,971 Oh, brother. 43 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,934 More like Trying Too Hard Con. 44 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,434 Guests or professionals? 45 00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,839 - Uh, guests. - Uh... Uh, guests are fans, Morty, 46 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:28,239 which we are not. We'd like professional badges. 47 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:29,819 - Do you have a crew? - Yes. 48 00:02:29,820 --> 00:02:31,609 He's a getaway driver with Asperger's, 49 00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,859 and my butthole is a demolitions expert. 50 00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:35,139 How much is it to get in? 51 00:02:35,140 --> 00:02:37,039 If you want professional badges, 52 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:38,364 you need to put a crew together. 53 00:02:38,365 --> 00:02:40,359 Or we could sneak in like professionals. 54 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,289 - Can't wait. - Whoa! 55 00:02:42,290 --> 00:02:45,489 - Oh, for God's sake. 56 00:02:45,490 --> 00:02:47,711 And you wonder why we aren't fans. 57 00:02:47,712 --> 00:02:50,499 Let that ointment sit for 10 minutes or you'll die. 58 00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,099 Don't let it sit for 12 59 00:02:52,100 --> 00:02:53,839 or I'll have to hunt down what you become. 60 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,499 Can't you just buy a guest badge? 61 00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:56,619 you for asking, Morty. 62 00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:58,039 That would be a symbolic expression 63 00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,599 of support for this genre. 64 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:00,679 Then how do we get in? 65 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,109 With a little help from some old friends. 66 00:03:06,580 --> 00:03:08,979 Rick Sanchez, you son of a bitch! 67 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,919 Need some people for a thing, Glar. 68 00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:12,739 My name's Gleer these days. 69 00:03:12,740 --> 00:03:14,189 I play piano. 70 00:03:14,190 --> 00:03:16,179 Hey, Gleer. Play your piano. 71 00:03:16,180 --> 00:03:18,520 I quit! Augh! 72 00:03:19,743 --> 00:03:23,079 And the name's Glar! 73 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:30,249 Sanchez, you son of a bitch. 74 00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:32,359 Never thought I'd see Angie Flint 75 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:33,779 picking ticks off a pig. 76 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:35,299 Nobody's hiring an ex-con 77 00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:37,301 with fake hands to build an ion engine. 78 00:03:37,302 --> 00:03:40,000 Suppose I had a job that didn't care if you'd done time 79 00:03:40,010 --> 00:03:42,899 or whatever's going on with your confusing-ass hands. 80 00:03:42,900 --> 00:03:44,639 I'm in. 81 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,239 Is this the guy? 82 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:49,759 No. 83 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:51,620 - That the guy? - Nope. 84 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:54,459 - Him? - No. 85 00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:55,779 No, wait. Y-Yes. 86 00:03:55,780 --> 00:03:56,988 Yeah, of course that's the guy. 87 00:03:56,989 --> 00:03:58,599 Hey... Hey, Truckula! 88 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,739 You son of a bitch! I'm in! 89 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,079 Thanks for doing this, guys. 90 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:13,547 - It's the job. - That was it. Bye. 91 00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:19,049 And then, the police stole the paintings 92 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:23,159 because the police were us in police outfits. 93 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,179 - Thank you! 94 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:25,779 It's showtime, Morty, 95 00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:27,679 and I don't mean a bad impression of HBO. 96 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,579 I mean, "Time for a show." 97 00:04:29,580 --> 00:04:31,979 Another heist question from a fan? 98 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,149 Uh, how about a rhetorical one 99 00:04:33,150 --> 00:04:35,694 from someone that had to be reminded that you exist? 100 00:04:35,695 --> 00:04:38,600 Hey, pal! That's not the question line! 101 00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:41,339 Lab coat... Ripoff Dr. Strange. 102 00:04:41,340 --> 00:04:42,859 Wha... 103 00:04:42,860 --> 00:04:47,009 Rick Sanchez, everyone. Smartest man in the universe. 104 00:04:47,010 --> 00:04:49,479 And a savage critic of the heisting arts. 105 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:50,879 - Your boos mean nothing! 106 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:52,127 I've seen what makes you cheer! 107 00:04:52,128 --> 00:04:54,919 My question is, "Seriously?" 108 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,559 Lab coat... end ripoff. 109 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:57,619 - Aah! 110 00:04:57,620 --> 00:04:59,959 You stole the gem I needed to split tachyons 111 00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,719 and probably fenced it so the 80 people 112 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,679 that did all the work could each buy a beer. 113 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,513 You're not an artist, you're Postmates. 114 00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:08,239 I doubt this rivalry can be settled with words. 115 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,699 Why don't we make things interesting? 116 00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:15,079 I challenge you to a heist of the crystal skull of Horowitz. 117 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,439 - In a heist off! - [CROWD CHEERS, AIR HORN BLOWS] 118 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:19,889 That doesn't make things interesting. 119 00:05:19,890 --> 00:05:22,659 It makes them "Ocean's Twelve," by far the worst one. 120 00:05:22,660 --> 00:05:24,799 - Every breath I take without your permission 121 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,400 raises my self-esteem! 122 00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:27,819 State your terms. 123 00:05:27,820 --> 00:05:29,859 First crew to heist the skull wins. 124 00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:32,519 The other endures heist culture's greatest shame. 125 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,359 They must join the winning crew. 126 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,129 Lame. I accept. 127 00:05:36,130 --> 00:05:37,959 Please welcome Knightley's Eight! 128 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,589 Snake Arms! Double Microwave! 129 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,379 Monitor Lord! Key Catcher! 130 00:05:42,380 --> 00:05:44,559 The Shape Shiftress! Angie Flint! 131 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,549 - Glar! And Truckula. - Hey! 132 00:05:46,550 --> 00:05:47,659 Half of Knightley's Eight 133 00:05:47,660 --> 00:05:49,539 are just three of Sanchez's Five! 134 00:05:49,540 --> 00:05:51,939 Well, no heist is complete without a double cross, 135 00:05:51,940 --> 00:05:53,679 and I had the perfect job. 136 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:57,489 Heisting the crystal skull. 137 00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:59,289 That was it. Bye. 138 00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:04,729 Looks like you're available for a job. 139 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,719 With Rick Sanchez on my team, I'll be unstoppable. 140 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,719 Rick, welcome to Knightley's Nine. 141 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,689 - Ugh, ugh! 142 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,159 Ugh! Rick, for real? 143 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:41,799 Eh. You got that skull, buddy? 144 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,580 What? How? 145 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,309 With a little help from some old friends. 146 00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:53,400 Heistotron, state your prime directive? 147 00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:54,419 To heist. 148 00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:56,599 Calculate Miles Knightley's current heist plan 149 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,479 and add one double-cross with a switcheroo. 150 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:03,199 Compiling crew members most likely to double-cross. 151 00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:06,660 God damn it, Morty, what did I tell you? 152 00:07:07,590 --> 00:07:09,219 Rick, I-I want to say goodbye. 153 00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,029 Don't turn around. I'll explain later. 154 00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:13,851 Looks like you're available for a job. 155 00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:18,600 Your skills are required for a job. 156 00:07:19,970 --> 00:07:22,899 You son of a bitch. I'm in. 157 00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:25,109 Man, this is really coming together. 158 00:07:25,110 --> 00:07:26,919 You know, Rick, I've been busy working on writing... 159 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,339 A heist script. Yeah, you almost never bring it up. 160 00:07:29,340 --> 00:07:31,709 Oh, we... we should head over. 161 00:07:31,710 --> 00:07:33,039 Hey, guys. What do you got? 162 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,049 Pretty! 163 00:07:34,050 --> 00:07:35,299 Morty, put this in your backpack. 164 00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:36,869 Grandpa's gonna run to the bathroom. 165 00:07:36,870 --> 00:07:38,779 Ugh. Wasn't even a heist. 166 00:07:38,780 --> 00:07:39,919 All you did was... 167 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,560 Write an algorithm based on two heist movies I slept through 168 00:07:42,570 --> 00:07:45,279 and used it to automate a joyless process you call art? 169 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:47,049 Yeah, I really did, didn't I? 170 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,799 So I'm in your crew now? 171 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,639 Yeah, well, you're in good company. 172 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:53,139 Right, everybody? 173 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,299 Yes. 174 00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:55,679 My God. 175 00:07:56,980 --> 00:07:59,720 Your skills are required for a job. 176 00:08:01,820 --> 00:08:03,059 You son of a bitch. 177 00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:04,179 - I'm in. - What? 178 00:08:04,180 --> 00:08:06,319 Your skills are required for a job. 179 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,219 No, they aren't. 180 00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:10,529 You son of a bitch. I'm in. 181 00:08:10,530 --> 00:08:13,319 Your skills are required for a job. 182 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,739 Sanchez's 3,329? 183 00:08:15,740 --> 00:08:16,872 Yes. 184 00:08:16,873 --> 00:08:18,229 Your next big score... 185 00:08:18,230 --> 00:08:21,329 Steal every square inch of Heistcon. 186 00:08:24,890 --> 00:08:26,629 Oh! Ah! 187 00:08:26,630 --> 00:08:29,319 Oh, my God. Hey! That's my wallet! Oh, God! 188 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,479 Oh, my God! Jesus. Oh, my God. 189 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:32,779 Oh, 190 00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:34,079 Holy. Alright. 191 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,979 Look, Morty, I did not know that that was gonna happen. 192 00:08:35,980 --> 00:08:38,519 That's not on me. Come on, Morty. Let's go. 193 00:08:43,380 --> 00:08:45,059 Good job, Heistotron. 194 00:08:45,060 --> 00:08:46,649 Ah! Go ahead and shut down. 195 00:08:46,650 --> 00:08:48,193 - Negative. - Excuse me? 196 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:51,699 I am programmed to always be looking for the next big score. 197 00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:53,899 You're programmed to do as I say. 198 00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,899 I am programmed to double-cross. 199 00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:57,703 You're not programmed to double-cross me. 200 00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:00,583 If I were, it wouldn't be much of a double-cross. 201 00:09:01,870 --> 00:09:04,459 You son of a bitch. I'm in. 202 00:09:06,810 --> 00:09:08,089 I'm in! I'm in! 203 00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:09,479 What's the job? I'm in. 204 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:10,879 I'm out! I quit! 205 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,094 Whose kidneys are these? 206 00:09:13,590 --> 00:09:15,429 Rick, w-what's happening? 207 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,359 Heistotron's gone rogue. If we don't stop them, 208 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,149 all sentient life will be absorbed 209 00:09:19,150 --> 00:09:21,559 by the never-ending assembly of a meaningless crew. 210 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:22,639 That's my hell, Morty. 211 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:23,980 I hate heists so much, 212 00:09:23,990 --> 00:09:25,855 and the crew assemblies are the worst part! 213 00:09:25,856 --> 00:09:27,429 Oh! How are we gonna stop it? 214 00:09:27,430 --> 00:09:31,810 With a little help from some old friends. 215 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:38,040 Oooo, weee! 216 00:09:38,050 --> 00:09:39,679 Before this semester's over, 217 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,899 you're gonna be real sick of that phrase. 218 00:09:43,220 --> 00:09:45,579 So. Who here thinks they already know 219 00:09:45,580 --> 00:09:47,289 the work of Maya Angelou? 220 00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:50,740 Ooo wee? 221 00:09:57,010 --> 00:09:58,679 Ooo wee wa! 222 00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:01,359 Ah, ooo wee! 223 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:03,179 Told you, Morty. 224 00:10:03,180 --> 00:10:04,599 He's still got it. 225 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,539 You sons of bitches. 226 00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:07,809 What's the job? 227 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,739 You son of a bitch. 228 00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:19,959 We got a job, Hephaestus, 229 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,581 and there's no time to argue about it. 230 00:10:21,582 --> 00:10:23,339 I work in a volcano. 231 00:10:23,340 --> 00:10:25,793 What jobs do you think I've ever turned down? 232 00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:30,789 Excuse me! Are you Veltriloquiver? 233 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,399 Rick Sanchez, I presume. 234 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,200 Wow. As advertised. 235 00:10:36,210 --> 00:10:38,339 A "yes" would've sufficed. 236 00:10:40,270 --> 00:10:41,759 Guys, you're doing a great job 237 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,269 getting these new Tusklas out the door, 238 00:10:43,270 --> 00:10:45,360 and we owe it all to everyone's input. 239 00:10:46,439 --> 00:10:47,939 Elon Tusk. 240 00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:49,139 Listen, we need your help. 241 00:10:49,140 --> 00:10:51,199 Rick. Morty. Why me? 242 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,571 Did something happen to Elon Musk in your own reality? 243 00:10:53,572 --> 00:10:56,599 No, no, no, he's fine, but this is a team oper-ation, 244 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:58,783 and regular Elon can be a little bit controlling. 245 00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:01,959 Growing up with tusks did pose social challenges. 246 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,359 It's possible overcoming them 247 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,999 raised my self-esteem and incentivized collaboration. 248 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,829 Yeah, or you're less sure of yourself 249 00:11:07,830 --> 00:11:08,919 because you have monster teeth. 250 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:10,359 An equally valid theory. 251 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:12,230 Let's talk over here. 252 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,459 How serious is the situation? 253 00:11:15,460 --> 00:11:17,539 Incredibly serious, and every minute counts. 254 00:11:17,540 --> 00:11:18,569 In that case, I'm sorry 255 00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:19,969 I made you move over here for no reason. 256 00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:22,039 Well, yeah. That was a little weird. 257 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:23,139 It's exactly that kind of shit 258 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,649 that made us worry about regular Elon. 259 00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:26,159 Well, we're not opposites, okay? 260 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,419 I'm just him with tusks. 261 00:11:30,567 --> 00:11:33,109 Casing of planet initiated. 262 00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:34,359 Hello there. 263 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,899 We are just here to check your water pressure. 264 00:11:41,780 --> 00:11:44,705 Hmm. Interesting intel. 265 00:11:44,706 --> 00:11:47,279 It appears some giant hidden camera 266 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:48,919 has been dropped on the planet, 267 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:51,319 killing an estimated total of 57,000. 268 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,879 Executing heist. 269 00:11:56,010 --> 00:11:57,459 People of Brandenplot, 270 00:11:57,460 --> 00:12:00,889 we are here to deliver that pizza you ordered. 271 00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:16,759 Well, if that's how you really feel, 272 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:18,960 I guess I should take the pizza back. 273 00:12:20,820 --> 00:12:22,769 I think we got away with it. 274 00:12:22,770 --> 00:12:25,999 Commencing getting out of here before they get wise. 275 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,332 Assembling calling card. 276 00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:34,719 At this point, Heistotron has become large enough 277 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,249 to heist entire planets. 278 00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:38,319 Wouldn't this be better with a blueprint on the table? 279 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,510 Blueprints are plans, Elon Tusk, 280 00:12:40,511 --> 00:12:42,859 and whatever we plan will be canceled out 281 00:12:42,860 --> 00:12:46,725 by Heistotron's reveal that our plan was part of its plan. 282 00:12:46,726 --> 00:12:48,769 That's why I picked this crew at random 283 00:12:48,770 --> 00:12:53,024 and why all of us will be taking our orders from Randotron. 284 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:56,839 Let's get ready to not rumble. 285 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,469 Bet you didn't see that coming. 286 00:12:58,470 --> 00:13:00,639 Instead of two heist movies I slept through, 287 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,479 Randotron's algorithm is derived 288 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,479 from the plots of three David Lynch movies 289 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,662 I pretended to like to make my friends shut up. 290 00:13:06,663 --> 00:13:09,619 If our collective behavior is just random enough, 291 00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:11,619 we should be able to walk through Heistotron's 292 00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:14,043 lazily contrived bull like it's not even there. 293 00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:16,079 - Sounds good. - I don't really get it, 294 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:17,999 but it sounds like that's the point. 295 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,819 So you didn't need a blacksmith? 296 00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:21,009 We're ready when you are, Rick. 297 00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:23,469 It's important our non-plan starts randomly, 298 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:26,099 so we have to wait until we're not ready. 299 00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:27,200 W-Well, how long will that take? 300 00:13:27,210 --> 00:13:28,899 Obviously, we can't know that. 301 00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:30,499 Can we do things while we wait? 302 00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:33,259 Yes. I'm gonna play Minecraft. 303 00:13:33,260 --> 00:13:34,309 Oh, my kids play that. 304 00:13:34,310 --> 00:13:37,010 I don't like these little jabs you get in, Elon. 305 00:13:38,710 --> 00:13:39,819 Strange. 306 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:42,639 Considering the time, Cassiopeia's primary star 307 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,030 should be collinear with Orion and Ursa Minor. 308 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,189 You don't shoot arrows that carry your voice 309 00:13:48,190 --> 00:13:49,819 without picking up a little astronomy. 310 00:13:49,820 --> 00:13:51,119 Wait a minute. 311 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:52,291 Jesus, no. 312 00:13:52,292 --> 00:13:54,859 No! No! We've already been heisted! 313 00:13:54,860 --> 00:13:57,171 How could Heistotron heist us if he's not even here yet? 314 00:13:57,172 --> 00:13:58,539 He's already been here! 315 00:13:58,540 --> 00:14:01,619 We've been watching a recorded sky on playback. 316 00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:02,999 Hello, Rick. 317 00:14:10,940 --> 00:14:13,469 - Okay, guys, change of plans. - Random time detected. 318 00:14:13,470 --> 00:14:15,059 No, Randotron, it's not a good time! 319 00:14:15,060 --> 00:14:16,339 That's why it's random. 320 00:14:58,860 --> 00:15:00,439 Ooh! 321 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:02,529 21? 322 00:15:02,530 --> 00:15:04,739 22? 323 00:15:04,740 --> 00:15:06,529 Oooo weee, oooo weee, sold! 324 00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:09,340 Oooo weee, that little hunk of meat's going home to pappy! 325 00:15:12,372 --> 00:15:14,164 I've been expecting you, Rick. 326 00:15:14,165 --> 00:15:16,289 But not like this, right? 327 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:17,459 It hardly matters. 328 00:15:17,460 --> 00:15:20,110 - Oh, yeah. Does this? 329 00:15:22,670 --> 00:15:25,569 No. Your randomness does not confuse me. 330 00:15:25,570 --> 00:15:26,594 You are here now. 331 00:15:26,595 --> 00:15:28,139 That was the plan. 332 00:15:28,140 --> 00:15:30,689 I know. It was part of mine, too. 333 00:15:30,690 --> 00:15:32,013 I've got something to tell you. 334 00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:34,999 Let me guess. When you invented me and Randotron, 335 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,187 you swapped our brains. 336 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:40,339 That's right, buddy. 337 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,235 You're not the one that's very good at planning. 338 00:15:42,236 --> 00:15:44,402 You've been making this up the whole time. 339 00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:46,906 Rick, I think there's something you should know. 340 00:15:46,907 --> 00:15:50,079 God damn it, Morty, what did I tell you? 341 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:51,779 That is something I should know, 342 00:15:51,780 --> 00:15:54,955 or at least something I should have predicted, which I did. 343 00:15:54,956 --> 00:15:57,839 Hey, Rick, I was thinking maybe we could, like, raid a temple 344 00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:59,779 and go on an epic adventure later today, you know, like... 345 00:15:59,780 --> 00:16:02,039 Morty, get out of my head. I know just the temple. 346 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,279 And we'll grab a couple of hover chairs on the way there. 347 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,739 Impressive. 348 00:16:05,740 --> 00:16:07,379 But what does it even matter 349 00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:09,059 if I'm random or planned? 350 00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:11,847 My heists will still rule. 351 00:16:11,848 --> 00:16:14,599 Well, if the brain inside of you is actually Heistotron's, 352 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,739 it matters, because it explodes 353 00:16:16,740 --> 00:16:18,719 when it hits six levels of contrivance. 354 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,729 Which is exactly why even before... 355 00:16:24,610 --> 00:16:26,987 Initiate clap sequence. 356 00:16:26,988 --> 00:16:28,679 Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. 357 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:29,698 Adjusting clap rate. 358 00:16:29,699 --> 00:16:33,149 Clap, clap. Clap. Clap. 359 00:16:33,150 --> 00:16:35,619 Clap. Slow clap achieved. 360 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,639 Clap. Well-done, Rick. 361 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:38,659 Randotron? 362 00:16:38,660 --> 00:16:40,199 I'm afraid not. 363 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:44,099 Should be able to walk through Heistotron's lazily contrived... 364 00:16:45,330 --> 00:16:47,979 Not only did you just kill your only ally, 365 00:16:47,980 --> 00:16:50,379 what you thought was a random non-plan 366 00:16:50,380 --> 00:16:53,779 to get to me has been a meticulously choreographed way 367 00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:56,141 of bringing you all in. 368 00:16:56,142 --> 00:16:59,779 Welcome to Heistotron's 975 trillion, 369 00:16:59,780 --> 00:17:01,519 - 467 billion... - That's impressive. 370 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,580 Did you bring us in so that everybody would be here 371 00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:06,568 when I reveal that you're gonna explode after nine reveals? 372 00:17:06,569 --> 00:17:08,446 By the way, you might not want to answer that. 373 00:17:08,447 --> 00:17:11,079 If you're talking about the code adjustments you made 374 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:14,359 after I reprogrammed your brain with my nanobots... 375 00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:16,286 I'm immune to your nanobots. 376 00:17:16,287 --> 00:17:18,581 You're immune to the ones you designed, not mine. 377 00:17:18,590 --> 00:17:20,329 I programmed you to build nanobots 378 00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:21,539 that were ineffective on me. 379 00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,139 A belief that needed to be placed 380 00:17:23,140 --> 00:17:24,539 in your head by my nanobots. 381 00:17:24,540 --> 00:17:26,639 You believe that because I programmed you to. 382 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,239 That's what I'm saying to you, though. 383 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,459 You believe what I programmed you to believe. 384 00:17:30,460 --> 00:17:32,385 Yes, because I programmed you to believe that. 385 00:17:32,386 --> 00:17:34,030 I programmed you to believe that. 386 00:17:34,055 --> 00:17:35,160 I programmed you to believe that. 387 00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:36,440 I programmed you to believe that. 388 00:17:36,460 --> 00:17:37,999 I programmed you to believe that. 389 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,889 What's happening, Professor Poopybutthole? 390 00:17:39,890 --> 00:17:41,389 He's learning! 391 00:17:41,390 --> 00:17:42,400 I programmed you to believe that. 392 00:17:42,410 --> 00:17:43,980 - I programmed you to believe that. - I programmed you... 393 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:46,609 That was my plan the whole time. 394 00:17:46,610 --> 00:17:47,984 That's what I wanted you to think. 395 00:17:47,985 --> 00:17:48,999 I knew you would say that. 396 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,400 I programmed you to believe that. 397 00:17:50,410 --> 00:17:52,657 You think that's true because I wanted you to think that. 398 00:17:52,658 --> 00:17:56,410 And I programmed you to believe that. 399 00:17:57,578 --> 00:18:00,189 A most curious algorithm. 400 00:18:00,190 --> 00:18:02,259 It appears the only perfect heist 401 00:18:02,260 --> 00:18:04,239 is one that was never written. 402 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:05,980 Goodbye. 403 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:08,129 Oh, oh, oh, no. 404 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:09,919 Shit! Alright. Let's get the out of here! 405 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,359 - Hurry! Go, go! - Rick, I think this was 406 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:13,019 a powerful lesson in the dangers of AI, 407 00:18:13,020 --> 00:18:14,539 which, by the way, means "love" in Chinese. 408 00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:15,759 Get the out of here, Elon! 409 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:16,989 The place is collapsing! 410 00:18:16,990 --> 00:18:18,749 Oh, Rick! Rick, what time is it? 411 00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:20,389 It's almost 3:00. Why? What's wrong? 412 00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:22,419 Oh, man, I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this, Rick. 413 00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:25,200 I just... Well, you know that screenplay that I've been writing? 414 00:18:25,210 --> 00:18:26,679 Netflix is pretty interested, 415 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,019 and I've actually got a pitch meeting there today at 3:30. 416 00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:30,619 Oh, buddy. Oh, that's amazing. 417 00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:31,729 Yeah, well, I know you're gonna say 418 00:18:31,730 --> 00:18:32,939 that they're interested in anything, 419 00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:34,579 but, you know, it's a big deal to me, and I've... 420 00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,783 No, no, no! Morty, Morty, Morty, I'm so excited for you. 421 00:18:36,784 --> 00:18:37,814 Are you kidding me? Listen, 422 00:18:37,815 --> 00:18:39,079 don't waste any time explaining. 423 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,509 Let's go. We can put the Earth back later. 424 00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:41,639 - Alright? - Are you sure? 425 00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:44,667 Priorities, Morty. Let's get you to that Netflix meeting. 426 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:47,439 Crazy day, huh? 427 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,503 Whole sky turned out to be a big circuit board. 428 00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:51,359 Yeah, that's actually part of a-a-a... 429 00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:52,759 an adventure I was having. 430 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:54,399 Very cool. Traffic okay? 431 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,439 - You have trouble getting here? - No, it was alright. 432 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:57,699 The planet's still contained 433 00:18:57,700 --> 00:19:00,099 in this sort of big storage grid machine, 434 00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:02,969 so we were sort of already pretty... pretty close by. 435 00:19:02,970 --> 00:19:05,039 Must be nice. Try getting here from Malibu. 436 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,439 So good! Alright. Well, l-let's hear about this heist movie. 437 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:08,839 Okay, so, it's kind of all... 438 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:11,909 all built around this big crew with, like, a cool double-cross 439 00:19:11,910 --> 00:19:13,979 and then this big awesome twist where there's, like, 440 00:19:13,980 --> 00:19:17,179 another double cross, but then, um, but... 441 00:19:17,180 --> 00:19:19,299 but then we reveal those things 442 00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:21,700 were all part of the hero's plan, y-you know? 443 00:19:21,710 --> 00:19:24,379 And there's this other crew they put together, 444 00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:27,079 and their plan is to sort of not have a plan, 445 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:30,200 but... but that was part of the other guy's plan, and... 446 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:32,799 Kid, if you're slowing down 'cause you think 447 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,679 you're doing bad right now, Jesus Christ. 448 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,059 - That's a really good pitch. - Loving it. 449 00:19:36,060 --> 00:19:37,339 Man, you know, I... 450 00:19:37,340 --> 00:19:40,880 I'm starting to think heists are just really dumb now, you know? 451 00:19:40,890 --> 00:19:42,259 I can't put my finger on why, 452 00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:44,349 but I'd really like to go. 453 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,389 Are you sure? 454 00:19:45,390 --> 00:19:48,059 Yeah, yeah, no, I-I'm sure. 455 00:19:48,060 --> 00:19:53,419 Man, it's as if someone stole his enthusiasm for his own idea. 456 00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:54,739 Yeah, without him even knowing about it. 457 00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:56,405 Without him even knowing about it. 458 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:00,284 Morty's still working on 459 00:20:00,285 --> 00:20:01,829 - that stupid heist script. 460 00:20:01,830 --> 00:20:04,059 He's up in his room with his thumb up his ass. 461 00:20:04,060 --> 00:20:05,499 Skipped out on the last three adventures. 462 00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,499 I don't know. Five of my friends got Netflix deals. 463 00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:09,419 - What? - It's a very achievable goal. 464 00:20:09,420 --> 00:20:11,419 - You could lose him. - I'm not gonna lose him. 465 00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:13,780 that. I-I'm gonna nip this shit in the bud. 466 00:20:13,790 --> 00:20:16,132 No. As a matter of fact, you're not nipping anything in the bud. 467 00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:18,509 If Morty ever gives up on a single dream, 468 00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:21,888 it had better be because of his own disillusionment. 469 00:20:23,850 --> 00:20:25,189 Hey, buddy. How'd it go? 470 00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:27,559 I-I don't want to talk about it. 471 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,859 Morty, you know, pal, you, uh... 472 00:20:29,860 --> 00:20:31,899 you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. 473 00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:33,439 Yeah, I guess. 474 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,719 Thanks for staying positive about my prospects, Rick. 475 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:36,859 Of course! You know, you... 476 00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:38,519 I got to help my grandson follow his dreams. 477 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:39,899 Eh, who needs dreams? 478 00:20:39,900 --> 00:20:41,599 I'll just hang out with you and go on adventures 479 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,459 and do whatever you want to do, you know, forever. 480 00:20:43,460 --> 00:20:45,139 Oh, well, uh, okay. 481 00:20:45,140 --> 00:20:48,449 I mean, if that's what you want. 482 00:20:48,450 --> 00:20:53,449 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - — www.addic7ed.com — 483 00:21:22,410 --> 00:21:25,449 Oooo weee! Big storm coming. 484 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:28,980 - Could be a twister. - Mm-hmm! 485 00:21:31,450 --> 00:21:32,719 Hey, Rick? 486 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:33,989 Can you walk me through something? 487 00:21:33,990 --> 00:21:35,259 Yeah. What are you thinking? 488 00:21:35,260 --> 00:21:38,059 So, you and Morty knew you needed my help, 489 00:21:38,060 --> 00:21:41,059 but you weren't sure I was good enough at karate, 490 00:21:41,060 --> 00:21:44,479 so you hired my grad students to attack me? 491 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:45,959 Yep. 492 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,299 But it was an emergency, Rick. 493 00:21:48,300 --> 00:21:50,079 How long did that take? 494 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,620 It actually took less training than you'd think. 495 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,159 Your students all shared 496 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,479 a pretty keen aptitude for martial arts. 497 00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:58,919 I don't know if that's by coincidence 498 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,749 or if there's some correlation with their passion 499 00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:03,919 for African-American Women's Studies. 500 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:08,489 Maya Angelou did personify both acquiescence and perseverance. 501 00:22:08,490 --> 00:22:12,000 Ooo wee. That's exactly the kind of connection 502 00:22:12,010 --> 00:22:15,719 I'd have loved to explore in my class. 503 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:17,419 Too bad I lost my job 504 00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:20,339 for putting my students in the hospital. 505 00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:22,519 Yeah. Yeah. 506 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,219 Sorry about that. 507 00:22:25,220 --> 00:22:28,340 - Mm-hmm.