1 00:00:04,340 --> 00:00:05,750 Rick, we did it! We... we got it! 2 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:07,290 Hurry up, Morty. Get in! 3 00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:08,940 - Chachi! - Chachi, Morty. 4 00:00:08,950 --> 00:00:11,030 - Did you get it? - He helped me escape prison. 5 00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:13,099 Did you get the Ultimate Cube? 6 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,900 Oh, it's purple. 7 00:00:14,910 --> 00:00:16,070 Y-You said it was purple. 8 00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:17,210 I said mine was. 9 00:00:17,220 --> 00:00:18,940 I didn't know they all were. 10 00:00:18,950 --> 00:00:21,350 And now we do, thanks to Chichi. 11 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:22,610 Chachi. 12 00:00:24,340 --> 00:00:26,650 So, uh, w-w-when do I get it? 13 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:27,670 Get what, a hug? 14 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:29,529 Let's find a planet with a garden hose first. 15 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,110 - A dragon. - A dragon. 16 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,060 You asked me to cut class and fight robots with you. 17 00:00:33,070 --> 00:00:34,070 I said, "No." 18 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:35,730 You said, "Millions of lives depend on it." 19 00:00:35,740 --> 00:00:37,400 I said, "I'll do it for a dragon." 20 00:00:37,410 --> 00:00:38,979 You said, "Whatever." 21 00:00:38,980 --> 00:00:40,450 I want my dragon. 22 00:00:40,460 --> 00:00:41,910 You know who's into dragons, Morty? 23 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:43,870 Nerds that refuse to admit they're Christian. 24 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,930 - I want my dragon. - Let me give you rocket shoes. 25 00:00:45,940 --> 00:00:47,350 Let me give you Wolverine claws. 26 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,010 Let me give you a rocket hat. 27 00:00:49,020 --> 00:00:50,690 Just be sure to use it with the rocket shoes, 28 00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:51,700 or it'll rip your head off. 29 00:00:51,710 --> 00:00:53,889 I want my dragon! I want my dragon! 30 00:00:53,890 --> 00:00:55,080 I want my dragon! 31 00:00:55,090 --> 00:00:56,620 - Oh. - Ha! Ha! 32 00:00:56,630 --> 00:00:58,130 Oh, crap. 33 00:00:58,140 --> 00:00:59,192 Crap. 34 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,229 Dad, are you okay? 35 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,149 Your ship crashed in Malta. 36 00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,569 I'm okay. 37 00:01:07,570 --> 00:01:09,190 Oh, thank God. 38 00:01:10,290 --> 00:01:12,159 Dad, did you promise Morty a dragon? 39 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,780 Fuuuuuuu... 40 00:01:41,350 --> 00:01:45,560 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 41 00:01:45,570 --> 00:01:46,700 Ugh! 42 00:01:46,710 --> 00:01:49,130 Bleed here and here. 43 00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:50,150 I'm not co-bleeding. 44 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:51,970 Under authority of our treaty 45 00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:54,070 'twixt the realms of dragon and man... 46 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,170 Oh, my God, it's my first gay wedding. 47 00:01:55,180 --> 00:01:56,669 - Summer! - ... I hereby bind 48 00:01:56,670 --> 00:01:58,770 this noble serpent and rider 49 00:01:58,780 --> 00:02:00,419 at the soul. 50 00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:03,620 Here's your tome of dragon spells and lore. 51 00:02:03,630 --> 00:02:04,790 That'll have everything you need. 52 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:05,910 Enjoy your dragon. 53 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,039 Okay, dragon, here's the house rules. 54 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:11,169 My name is Balthromaw, 55 00:02:11,170 --> 00:02:13,630 breaker of sky, slayer of mountain. 56 00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:16,290 Rule one... you are now scooper of your own poops, 57 00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:19,270 or I will take you down like the black-light poster you are. 58 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,070 I don't got any more rules. That's it. 59 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:24,409 I'm guessing you'd rather not be tagged in this. 60 00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:26,400 Okay, I'll bite. 61 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:27,689 What's with the talking cat? 62 00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:30,719 - It's a dragon, dip knob. - I know that's a dragon. 63 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,569 I'm talking about the talking cat in my bedroom. 64 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,490 Jerry, why would I give Morty a talking dragon 65 00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:37,240 and you a talking cat at the same time? 66 00:02:37,250 --> 00:02:38,570 Those concepts bump. 67 00:02:38,580 --> 00:02:40,719 If you're talking to a cat, it's an abnormal event 68 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:42,919 unrelated to me like when you went to Pluto 69 00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:44,540 or my daughter. 70 00:02:44,550 --> 00:02:47,130 Okay, there's really no need to get savage. 71 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:49,539 So? 72 00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:51,549 Eh, he says he has nothing to do with your talking. 73 00:02:51,550 --> 00:02:54,181 - Told you. - So then why are you talking? 74 00:02:54,182 --> 00:02:56,770 - Why should that matter? - Why should it not matter? 75 00:02:56,780 --> 00:02:58,779 How do I know I'm not hallucinating? 76 00:02:58,780 --> 00:03:00,599 Rick said this is an abnormal event. 77 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,810 Do you always need Rick to tell you what's going on? 78 00:03:02,820 --> 00:03:04,940 Maybe it's time you stopped asking questions 79 00:03:04,950 --> 00:03:07,069 and started having fun. 80 00:03:07,070 --> 00:03:09,100 Oh. 81 00:03:09,110 --> 00:03:11,850 Wow, okay. 82 00:03:11,860 --> 00:03:12,890 So, what do you want? 83 00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:14,430 I want you to take us to the airport 84 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,959 and get us two first-class tickets to Florida. 85 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:20,090 Why, I... I can do that. 86 00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:24,610 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 87 00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:26,870 Oh, this is so cool! 88 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,789 I await your next command. 89 00:03:33,790 --> 00:03:34,806 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 90 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,389 Nobody is commanding anybody. 91 00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:39,780 I love soaring through the sky with you as equals. 92 00:03:39,790 --> 00:03:41,240 W-What do you want to do? 93 00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:44,330 I want to enter my lair and sleep upon my hoard 94 00:03:44,340 --> 00:03:46,720 until the Age of Man expires. 95 00:03:46,730 --> 00:03:48,359 Okay. 96 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:49,990 Split the diff? 97 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,310 20-minute nap and soar through the sky? 98 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,320 Ugh. 99 00:03:54,330 --> 00:03:56,339 As you command. 100 00:03:56,340 --> 00:03:57,900 Okay, see you soon. 101 00:03:57,910 --> 00:03:59,360 T-This is fun. 102 00:03:59,370 --> 00:04:01,570 Yeah, right. 103 00:04:01,580 --> 00:04:03,970 What's this show called, "Ass"? 104 00:04:03,980 --> 00:04:06,670 Yeah, it's like "Bones," but they solve ass crimes. 105 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:07,840 This ass is a clue. 106 00:04:07,850 --> 00:04:09,140 Are these two gonna hook up? 107 00:04:09,150 --> 00:04:11,210 No, and only the lame fans want that. 108 00:04:11,220 --> 00:04:12,909 Don't tell me how to enjoy things. 109 00:04:12,910 --> 00:04:14,729 - Go to her ass. - That's Brenner. 110 00:04:14,730 --> 00:04:16,510 Go to Brenner Ass. 111 00:04:17,450 --> 00:04:18,830 Honeymoon over already? 112 00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:19,970 What's that supposed to mean? 113 00:04:19,980 --> 00:04:21,730 Admit it, Morty. Dragons suck. 114 00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:23,850 Why don't you admit you don't anyone else to be happy 115 00:04:23,860 --> 00:04:26,689 because you're a sad old fart? 116 00:04:26,690 --> 00:04:28,690 How do you saddle a fart? 117 00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:29,730 Holy, look! 118 00:04:29,740 --> 00:04:31,940 - I love you, Ass. - I love you, Brenner. 119 00:04:31,950 --> 00:04:33,080 - No. - Shh. 120 00:04:33,090 --> 00:04:34,510 - Ah! - Whoa! 121 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:36,170 And that's the end of the 122 00:04:36,180 --> 00:04:37,630 "Morty Gets a Dragon" episode. 123 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:41,119 - Are you gonna slay it? - First off, I always slay it, queen. 124 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:43,249 - Secondly, yes. - Should I pause "Ass"? 125 00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,909 Nah, it's kind of boring now that they're together. 126 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:52,650 Hey, face! 127 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:55,370 Will you shut the up or at least roll over? 128 00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:57,550 Oh, no, it burns. 129 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:00,010 Oh, my God. Oh, the fire of... of it all. 130 00:05:00,710 --> 00:05:02,199 Ah, if only I had prepared better 131 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,999 for this terrifying battle by remembering 132 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,559 the only thing dragons are known for. 133 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:14,781 Careful you don't get heartburn. 134 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,783 I made that android with a lot of C4. 135 00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:18,650 Oh, I'm sorry. I imbued it 136 00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:21,599 with a remote-controlled explode-y potion. 137 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,049 You have bested me. 138 00:05:23,050 --> 00:05:25,249 I am at your service. 139 00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:26,690 Good to be on the same parchment. 140 00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:28,390 Now, I'm gonna tell my grandson you ran off 141 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,559 with a low-flying 747 while you pack up your... 142 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,770 Wait, is this... Why do you have an original 143 00:05:33,780 --> 00:05:36,750 Ecto Cooler juice box from 1989? 144 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,570 I hoard that which your kind covets. 145 00:05:39,580 --> 00:05:42,449 - Give you 20 bucks for it. - Nice try. 146 00:05:42,450 --> 00:05:44,220 What the hell else are you hoarding down here? 147 00:05:44,227 --> 00:05:46,684 Cha-ching. "Small Soldiers" Spin Pops? 148 00:05:46,685 --> 00:05:48,369 - Don't open that. - I'm not an idiot. 149 00:05:48,370 --> 00:05:51,330 Hey, why do you have Future's self-titled album on vinyl? 150 00:05:51,340 --> 00:05:52,789 Look closer. 151 00:05:52,790 --> 00:05:54,800 Oh, he signed it. 152 00:05:54,810 --> 00:05:56,479 Closer. 153 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,680 He signed it in molly and Percocet? 154 00:05:58,690 --> 00:06:00,190 I could spend all night down here. 155 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,200 Do you indulge in volcanic fumes? 156 00:06:04,450 --> 00:06:05,920 Is it gonna up my brain? 157 00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,440 - No. - I'll do it anyway. 158 00:06:08,460 --> 00:06:11,370 Hoo, those were not cheap tickets, 159 00:06:11,380 --> 00:06:15,240 but, um, I'm down to clown. 160 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,970 Uh, w-w-w-why can you talk again, uh? 161 00:06:17,980 --> 00:06:19,390 It's not important, Jerry. 162 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,730 Okay, but why Florida? 163 00:06:20,740 --> 00:06:22,549 Because they don't ask questions. 164 00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:24,909 They play volleyball, they party, and they have fun. 165 00:06:24,910 --> 00:06:26,440 Right, right. 166 00:06:26,450 --> 00:06:27,949 You can do this, Jerry. 167 00:06:27,950 --> 00:06:31,090 I can do this. I can do this. 168 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,819 Ohh! 169 00:06:32,820 --> 00:06:33,980 Ugh! 170 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:36,109 Oh, yeah. 171 00:06:36,110 --> 00:06:38,420 Hey, Jerry, after this game, 172 00:06:38,430 --> 00:06:40,130 come to my yacht and bring your cat. 173 00:06:40,140 --> 00:06:41,559 You got it, Jipe. 174 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,470 I got to admit, you were right. 175 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,209 I've got to tell you something, Jerry. 176 00:06:45,210 --> 00:06:47,809 This is the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. 177 00:06:47,810 --> 00:06:50,409 Oh, gross! Who shit in the sand? 178 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,029 Someone took a small shit in the sand 179 00:06:53,030 --> 00:06:54,979 and buried it with, like, two little kicks 180 00:06:54,980 --> 00:06:57,349 and just left it here like a land mine. 181 00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,552 Why and who? 182 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:01,690 It was him. 183 00:07:03,220 --> 00:07:04,650 Help! 184 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,430 I'm being summoned by Morty. 185 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,410 Yeah. He's, uh, texting me. 186 00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:28,660 Hmm. How are you responding? 187 00:07:28,670 --> 00:07:30,210 Ugh, I tend not to, 188 00:07:30,220 --> 00:07:32,790 or maybe I'll send, like, a popular animated GIF 189 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,850 that could be interpreted in almost any way. 190 00:07:34,860 --> 00:07:35,900 Brilliant. 191 00:07:35,910 --> 00:07:37,720 I summon thee. 192 00:07:37,730 --> 00:07:41,330 I summon thee, Balthromaw. 193 00:07:41,340 --> 00:07:42,670 What the hell? 194 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,130 Taylor Swift pumping her hands in the air? 195 00:07:45,140 --> 00:07:47,140 - What does it mean when... - It means you're lame. 196 00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,219 What's the saying? 197 00:08:04,220 --> 00:08:07,909 "Orcs work to live. Dwarves live to work." 198 00:08:07,910 --> 00:08:09,160 So dumb. 199 00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:10,450 If there's ever a saying about me, 200 00:08:10,460 --> 00:08:12,120 I'll fly into the Sun. 201 00:08:15,630 --> 00:08:18,079 Oh, you're small for a dragon, Rick. 202 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,910 Well, I sleep on an extra big pile of awesome shit. 203 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,520 Then there will be sayings about you. 204 00:08:23,530 --> 00:08:25,589 Your lessers will hunt you down, 205 00:08:25,590 --> 00:08:29,009 and you will be owned or slain. 206 00:08:29,010 --> 00:08:31,310 That's why they call it a dying breed, brother. 207 00:08:35,050 --> 00:08:36,509 Ugh! Ughh! 208 00:08:36,510 --> 00:08:37,525 Oh, God. 209 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,270 - Ugh. My soul. - Oh! 210 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,019 Oh, yeah. I'm... 211 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,030 I'm... I'm a dragon. 212 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,519 - Oh! - Ugh, I'm bonding. 213 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,359 I'm bonding too. 214 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,279 - Oh! - Yeah. 215 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:49,659 What the! 216 00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:51,960 - Morty, I can explain. - Stop! 217 00:08:51,970 --> 00:08:53,579 Why are you still doing it? 218 00:08:53,580 --> 00:08:55,220 Why does it feel better now? 219 00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:57,669 I hope it's not because you're watching, but don't go anywhere. 220 00:08:57,670 --> 00:08:59,570 How did you find us? 221 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,500 We followed the smell of sulfur and skankery. 222 00:09:03,134 --> 00:09:05,719 - Oh! - Oh, yeah. 223 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,969 - Oh, man, ugh. - this. 224 00:09:07,970 --> 00:09:10,419 You can take this stupid fake soul-bond contract, 225 00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:12,140 and you can... mm! Ah! 226 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,559 No refunds. 227 00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,970 Your dragon soul-bonded with my grandpa. 228 00:09:16,980 --> 00:09:19,430 Oh, my! I am so sorry. 229 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,979 - That is a total violation. - Yeah, no shit. 230 00:09:21,980 --> 00:09:24,079 I'll take care of this at once. 231 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,540 You slut dragon! 232 00:09:25,550 --> 00:09:26,550 - What the! - You slut. 233 00:09:26,550 --> 00:09:27,550 - Chill out, dude. - Slut! 234 00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:28,789 - Okay, that's... - You slut! 235 00:09:28,790 --> 00:09:29,909 - Y-You don't have to... - Slut! 236 00:09:29,910 --> 00:09:31,139 Shame on you! 237 00:09:31,140 --> 00:09:32,820 - Shame, you slut! You slutty... - Ow! 238 00:09:32,830 --> 00:09:33,830 - ... slutty... - Why the does it feel 239 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:34,870 - like you're whipping me? - ... slut! 240 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:36,870 Because your soul got tangled 241 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,240 - in a dirty... - Ah! 242 00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:40,999 - ... slutty... slut soul! - Ow! Ow! 243 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,010 - Let's go! - Ow! Ow! 244 00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:44,490 - Get to that portal, you slut. - Grandpa, do something, 245 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,620 or I will tweet, and you will be canceled. 246 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:49,540 Hey, Dandruff the Great, 247 00:09:49,550 --> 00:09:51,549 lighten up and give the kid his dragon. 248 00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:52,810 By whose command? 249 00:09:52,820 --> 00:09:54,009 You have no magic. 250 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,929 Yeah, I know. I have actual power. 251 00:09:55,930 --> 00:09:57,349 Not here, you don't. 252 00:09:57,350 --> 00:10:00,570 True power looks like this... 253 00:10:00,580 --> 00:10:02,580 Stone monster. 254 00:10:02,590 --> 00:10:04,950 - Stick that up your ass. - Oh, you're done? 255 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,740 I thought the rock monster was here to introduce a physicist. 256 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,770 Spinal cord, uh, activate morphine. 257 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,949 Oh, I might be. 258 00:10:15,950 --> 00:10:17,780 Lightning bridge! 259 00:10:19,980 --> 00:10:21,660 Okay, he's gone. Listen up. 260 00:10:21,670 --> 00:10:22,990 There's probably animals in these hills. 261 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,410 If you spare me, I can make your crotch a salt lick. 262 00:10:25,420 --> 00:10:29,720 Agana aksaka sapooloo. 263 00:10:31,980 --> 00:10:33,290 Thank you, Morty. 264 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,610 Figures you'd be higher status in Lame World. 265 00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:37,499 Get your together, Lair Wrecker. 266 00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:38,919 We need to rescue Balthromaw. 267 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,980 Morty, the moral of this story is bros before dragons. 268 00:10:41,990 --> 00:10:42,990 You know what I'm talking about? 269 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,449 Yeah, if he dies while you're soul bonded, you die too. 270 00:10:46,450 --> 00:10:49,930 Morty, the moral of this story is bros rescue dragons. 271 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,570 Balthromaw, 272 00:10:52,580 --> 00:10:54,959 by soul bonding with multiple riders, 273 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:58,540 you have violated the treaty between dragon and mankind. 274 00:10:58,550 --> 00:11:02,819 The Dragonarchy sentences you to hang by the neck until dead. 275 00:11:02,820 --> 00:11:04,710 On the count of three. 276 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,710 One Dragonarchy, 277 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:10,240 two Dragonarchy, 21/2... 278 00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:11,890 I just wanted to make sure... Three! 279 00:11:13,290 --> 00:11:15,590 Grandpa Rick, what's wrong? 280 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,310 Oh, God. The wizard must have hung Balthromaw! 281 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:19,970 Well, it. Can we go back then? 282 00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:22,060 W-Well, no, no. It takes, like, 78 years 283 00:11:22,070 --> 00:11:23,316 to hang a dragon to death, so... 284 00:11:23,317 --> 00:11:25,170 Aw, man. It's so annoying. 285 00:11:25,180 --> 00:11:27,609 You ever, like, try to swallow a really big vitamin 286 00:11:27,610 --> 00:11:29,090 with no water? Ugh! 287 00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:30,510 You know, like... 288 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,330 really, like, big one, you know, 289 00:11:32,340 --> 00:11:34,869 and it kind of gets, ugh, stuck in your throat? 290 00:11:34,890 --> 00:11:36,660 It's... it's annoying. All right. 291 00:11:36,670 --> 00:11:38,999 Morty, go ahead and activate this golem. 292 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,480 Agana aksaka sapooloo. 293 00:11:53,890 --> 00:11:56,070 dumb. All right. 294 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,770 Who wants to be infused with, like, uh, unreasonable power? 295 00:11:58,780 --> 00:12:00,895 Oh, can I be, like, a sexy arrow-shooty lady? 296 00:12:00,896 --> 00:12:04,100 Yeah, whatever. There's no rules. I don't care. 297 00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:06,029 Morty, you want superpowers? 298 00:12:06,030 --> 00:12:08,029 No, thanks. I'm fine. I've got my book. 299 00:12:08,030 --> 00:12:09,479 All right. Good luck with that. 300 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,210 Let's go. 301 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:15,260 God, it's like... have you ever had too much orange juice, 302 00:12:15,270 --> 00:12:17,010 or, like, you know how egg yolk 303 00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:18,690 kind of, like, gets in your throat? 304 00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:20,289 Yeah, we get it. Come on and hurry. 305 00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:22,249 W-We got to free Balthromaw. 306 00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:24,260 - Upsulu... - I got this. 307 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,750 Morty, how's that book working out for you, 308 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:31,800 you d-d-dumb-ass? 309 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,639 Huh. You know what? You're right. 310 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,960 I could get used to this magic stuff. 311 00:12:46,820 --> 00:12:48,989 There's Balthromaw. 312 00:12:48,990 --> 00:12:50,359 Check this shit out. Watch this. 313 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:51,520 Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't even look. 314 00:12:51,530 --> 00:12:52,650 Don't even bother looking. 315 00:12:52,660 --> 00:12:54,489 Just let magic guide your arrow. 316 00:12:54,490 --> 00:12:56,400 Summer, what the hell are you doing? 317 00:12:56,410 --> 00:12:58,690 - Take this seriously. - Shut the up, Morty. 318 00:12:58,700 --> 00:13:01,230 Stop trying to pretend like magic involves skill or thought. 319 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,080 Summer, make it look like it's coming out of your butthole. 320 00:13:03,090 --> 00:13:04,210 Yeah, yeah. 321 00:13:05,420 --> 00:13:06,549 Ah! 322 00:13:06,550 --> 00:13:09,790 Oh, my eye, oh! 323 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,690 What in the Medieval equivalent of tarnation... 324 00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:14,619 Jesus Christ! 325 00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:16,409 Summer, you idiot! 326 00:13:16,410 --> 00:13:18,060 Power of 12 feet. 327 00:13:18,070 --> 00:13:19,610 Uh, ow, 328 00:13:19,620 --> 00:13:20,769 I take it all back! 329 00:13:20,770 --> 00:13:22,930 I hate magic! 330 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:27,520 Ah! 331 00:13:27,530 --> 00:13:28,599 Slut thief! 332 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,735 You're a slut thief! 333 00:13:32,870 --> 00:13:35,690 Pretty fun boat, fun people. 334 00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:39,050 That's great, not being asked why I can talk. 335 00:13:39,060 --> 00:13:42,870 I'm a talking cat, but "Who cares why?" is my point. 336 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:46,375 Well, nice talking to you for no reason. 337 00:13:48,010 --> 00:13:49,549 Jorge, that was a good one, 338 00:13:49,550 --> 00:13:51,450 but do you know what a peanut butter gargoyle is? 339 00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:52,639 Nah, what's that? 340 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,549 Dude, it's when you take the chick, 341 00:13:54,550 --> 00:13:56,679 - put her feet on a cathedral... - Sorry to interrupt, guys. 342 00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:59,689 Just want to clarify, are these real sex positions? 343 00:13:59,690 --> 00:14:01,009 Because if they are, 344 00:14:01,010 --> 00:14:03,360 how are they gratifying to the male at all? 345 00:14:03,370 --> 00:14:05,400 And if the goal is to make something up, 346 00:14:05,410 --> 00:14:09,100 why not make up something... funnier? 347 00:14:09,110 --> 00:14:12,360 I'm asking too many questions, aren't I? 348 00:14:12,370 --> 00:14:13,900 How ironic. 349 00:14:13,910 --> 00:14:15,169 Get out of Florida, 350 00:14:15,170 --> 00:14:16,459 - you overthinking cat. - Why don't you go overthink 351 00:14:16,460 --> 00:14:18,200 up north in Georgia? 352 00:14:18,210 --> 00:14:19,620 Hate that cat. 353 00:14:29,140 --> 00:14:31,019 You got any money for a cab? 354 00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:32,529 Why ask questions? 355 00:14:32,530 --> 00:14:34,150 Why not just have fun? 356 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:35,716 I deserve that. 357 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:38,469 Attention, citizens of Draygon, 358 00:14:38,470 --> 00:14:41,299 a slut dragon has escaped. 359 00:14:41,300 --> 00:14:44,629 Anyone caught harboring it is also a slut. 360 00:14:44,630 --> 00:14:46,239 - That's how it goes. - Ow, my eye. 361 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,149 It pains me that you can feel my pain. 362 00:14:49,150 --> 00:14:50,270 Yeah, how about you suck your. 363 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,269 Which is also somehow my? 364 00:14:52,270 --> 00:14:55,780 Aw, why can't couples that start out cheating ever end up happy? 365 00:14:55,790 --> 00:14:56,889 M-Maybe I can find 366 00:14:56,890 --> 00:14:59,299 that wizard's portal spell in here and g-get us home. 367 00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:01,049 How about finding the spell that unbinds me 368 00:15:01,050 --> 00:15:02,279 from your dragon? 369 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,249 No spells can do that. 370 00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:06,709 Only the wizard can unbind soul bonds. 371 00:15:06,710 --> 00:15:07,749 Uh, who the are you? 372 00:15:07,750 --> 00:15:09,429 Who are we? Who the are you, bitch? 373 00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:11,950 Debrah, stop. We are the slut dragons. 374 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,070 We live in these slut caves where we, 375 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,139 suck, and eat and we kindly ask that you leave. 376 00:15:17,140 --> 00:15:19,551 If the wizard knows we are here, he will imprison us. 377 00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:20,939 Yeah! We like it down here 378 00:15:20,940 --> 00:15:23,219 'cause we can woolly mammoths. Get out! 379 00:15:23,220 --> 00:15:24,790 - Get the out of here, Michael! - Shut up, Michael! 380 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,339 You're the only one that that thing. 381 00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:27,473 Get the out of here. 382 00:15:27,474 --> 00:15:29,370 Well, at least I'm not into play. 383 00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:30,490 - you! - Hey, wait! 384 00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,099 Everybody stop, stop! 385 00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:33,569 Listen, this is all my fault. 386 00:15:33,570 --> 00:15:36,369 I started all this when I tried to control Balthromaw, 387 00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:37,719 and that was up. 388 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,190 Nobody should control anyone, 389 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,800 especially that guy up there. 390 00:15:40,810 --> 00:15:43,330 And, um, you can eat if you want, I guess. 391 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:44,550 - I, uh... - I got this, Morty. 392 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,339 Okay, listen up, slut dragons! 393 00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:48,090 Wouldn't you rather be sluts up there, 394 00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:50,590 have a world instead of a cave? 395 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:51,670 What's wrong with you? 396 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:54,099 This man with a ponytail makes a valid point. 397 00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:56,890 All dragons are sluts deep down, even the ones up above, 398 00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:59,010 but we would have to kill the wizard to be free. 399 00:15:59,020 --> 00:16:00,220 He is too powerful. 400 00:16:00,230 --> 00:16:02,670 There is a way to kill the wizard. 401 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,634 Whoa. Who's this mysterious character? 402 00:16:04,635 --> 00:16:06,370 Shadow Jacker, you haven't come out 403 00:16:06,380 --> 00:16:08,039 of your masturbation cave in eons. 404 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:11,399 It's high time I emerge from my cocoon. 405 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,760 I grow tired of eavesdropping and masturbating 406 00:16:13,770 --> 00:16:15,139 to the sounds you all make. 407 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:17,310 Jesus Christ. All right. C-Could use a little more mystery. 408 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:19,024 Oh, oh, just now seeing the staff. 409 00:16:19,025 --> 00:16:22,370 We've never had enough sluts to defeat the wizard. 410 00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:24,870 Now, with the four fresh, wet sluts 411 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:28,569 that just landed on our doorstep, we finally have a chance. 412 00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:30,331 So killing the wizard will break my soul bond. 413 00:16:30,332 --> 00:16:32,909 Yes, it solves all of our problems. 414 00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:35,149 We must begin a 10-slut soul orgy... 415 00:16:35,150 --> 00:16:37,430 - Wait, wait, what? - ... and become the all-slut 416 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:39,020 slut phoenix dragon, 417 00:16:39,030 --> 00:16:40,130 - Slut. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. 418 00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:42,090 Hold on. There's got to be something else in here. 419 00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:43,511 There's got to be another way. Just give me a second. 420 00:16:43,512 --> 00:16:45,221 I haven't read all this yet. 421 00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:49,223 - Oh! - Oh, my God. 422 00:16:49,224 --> 00:16:51,060 Maybe don't tell your parents we did this? 423 00:17:15,110 --> 00:17:17,900 Oh, oh, no. Oh... wait, please, no! 424 00:17:17,910 --> 00:17:19,529 Ice spell! Ice spell! 425 00:17:19,530 --> 00:17:21,470 Oh, God! 426 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,109 That just made it last longer. 427 00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:24,550 Ah, it burns longer! 428 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,262 Ah, I could have died fast! 429 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:31,940 Thank you, strangers. 430 00:17:31,950 --> 00:17:33,940 Well, it's your world now. Have fun with empowerment. 431 00:17:33,950 --> 00:17:35,920 It seems to make everyone that gets it really happy. 432 00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:38,870 All right, guys. I'll use this to open a portal. 433 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,901 Uh, open a portal to Earth. 434 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:43,525 Let's get the hell out of here fast. 435 00:17:43,526 --> 00:17:44,990 God, look at this piece of. 436 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,680 Why is there writing on it? Who writes on a portal? 437 00:17:49,950 --> 00:17:52,370 Should've taken me up on those Wolverine claws instead, Morty. 438 00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:54,039 Wait, why did the dragon come? 439 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,289 I was thinking we could hang out? 440 00:17:56,290 --> 00:17:58,210 Oh, yeah. Whoa, Jesus. 441 00:17:58,220 --> 00:18:00,440 Your dad's been texting me this whole time? 442 00:18:00,450 --> 00:18:02,310 Uh, he's at an airport with a cat. 443 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,139 Okay, that... That sounds... wow. 444 00:18:04,140 --> 00:18:05,249 You know, I better check on him. 445 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,010 Big season finale right there, you know? 446 00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:08,429 Better, uh... Better go right now. 447 00:18:08,430 --> 00:18:10,230 Also, I told you not to get a dragon, Morty. 448 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:11,400 This is your fault. You, 449 00:18:11,410 --> 00:18:13,489 - worst adventure ever. - Worst adventure ever. 450 00:18:13,490 --> 00:18:16,650 Yeah, uh, I guess you better be on your way too, Balthromaw. 451 00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:18,409 Well, I've been thinking. 452 00:18:18,410 --> 00:18:21,979 What you said back there in the cave really resonated with me. 453 00:18:21,980 --> 00:18:23,777 Maybe we could try again? 454 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,250 Look, to be honest, I'm kind of grossed out 455 00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:27,540 with the sexual nature of how everything unfolded. 456 00:18:27,550 --> 00:18:29,470 I didn't know how sexual dragons were. 457 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,783 I kind of just wanted to do some D&D stuff, you know? 458 00:18:31,784 --> 00:18:34,150 And have a soul orgy with your sister and grandpa 459 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:35,689 and every dragon we could find, yeah? 460 00:18:35,690 --> 00:18:37,750 No, look, can you please just go? 461 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,399 I-I-I really want to shower. 462 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,253 Maybe a quick soul bone before I go. 463 00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:42,450 I-I-I-I'm good. 464 00:18:42,460 --> 00:18:43,860 I think I just need to be alone 465 00:18:43,870 --> 00:18:45,632 and sort of un... unpack all this. 466 00:18:45,633 --> 00:18:47,040 What about your grandpa? 467 00:18:47,050 --> 00:18:48,579 Would he want to? I can wait. 468 00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:49,989 No, I think you better go. 469 00:18:49,990 --> 00:18:51,659 I-I'm gonna take that shower. 470 00:18:51,660 --> 00:18:54,250 If it's just warm liquid you want trickled over your body, 471 00:18:54,260 --> 00:18:55,590 - I could maybe... - No, no, look. 472 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:56,739 I just want to be clean! 473 00:18:56,740 --> 00:18:59,089 I-I-I feel dirty after everything that's happened. 474 00:18:59,090 --> 00:19:01,860 How about a quick hand bond? 475 00:19:01,870 --> 00:19:03,870 - I like doing it. - You're embarrassing yourself. 476 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,110 I-I-I'm closing the door. 477 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:08,729 soul teasers. 478 00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,533 This is a cool car. I like having fun. 479 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,730 That's what I'm talking about. Keep it moving. 480 00:19:12,740 --> 00:19:14,099 Don't ask why I can talk. 481 00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:15,699 - Mm, mm, mm. - Uh-huh. 482 00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:17,706 For sure. For sure. 483 00:19:18,890 --> 00:19:19,990 Where are we going? 484 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,170 Quantum radiator might need some nanowater. 485 00:19:22,180 --> 00:19:23,649 We... We can stretch our legs. 486 00:19:29,650 --> 00:19:32,460 So, uh, why can you talk? 487 00:19:33,370 --> 00:19:34,519 What is this? 488 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,829 I need you in one spot for a clean mind scan. 489 00:19:36,830 --> 00:19:38,990 Mind scan? Look, you're overthinking it. 490 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,143 The point of a talking cat is to have fun. 491 00:19:41,144 --> 00:19:43,220 I find the insinuation that I can't ask questions 492 00:19:43,230 --> 00:19:45,160 and have fun condescending. 493 00:19:45,170 --> 00:19:47,830 - Y-You find it condescending, Jerry? - Yes. 494 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,110 All right. I'm from outer space. 495 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,320 - Happy? - No. 496 00:19:50,330 --> 00:19:52,700 Exactly, because no answer would be satisfying. 497 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:53,890 Because it's a lie. 498 00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:55,360 Let's see the truth. 499 00:19:56,140 --> 00:19:57,630 What in the... 500 00:20:00,430 --> 00:20:02,240 Oh, son of a bitch. 501 00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:03,760 - Jerry, don't. - I want to see. 502 00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:05,530 No, you do not. 503 00:20:08,030 --> 00:20:11,500 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 504 00:20:12,610 --> 00:20:14,539 - At least now maybe... - Get the hell out of here! 505 00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:16,069 - But I've got nowhere to go. - Get out! 506 00:20:16,070 --> 00:20:17,850 - Get out! - Get out! 507 00:20:25,710 --> 00:20:30,249 He was in my home where I keep photos of my parents. 508 00:20:30,250 --> 00:20:31,560 Jerry, I have a device. 509 00:20:31,570 --> 00:20:32,770 I-It can make us forget. 510 00:20:32,780 --> 00:20:35,600 No, I don't think we should forget, 511 00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:37,090 not this. 512 00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:39,250 Someone has to remember. 513 00:20:39,260 --> 00:20:41,160 Someone will. 514 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,229 Did we crash? 515 00:20:44,230 --> 00:20:45,470 Where's the cat? 516 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,240 He, uh, ran away. 517 00:20:47,250 --> 00:20:49,330 - Did you scan his brain? - Yeah. 518 00:20:49,340 --> 00:20:50,919 Did you find out why he can talk? 519 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:52,470 He's from outer space. 520 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,239 Outer space? 521 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,390 That little... 522 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,180 Of course, total mind. 523 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:04,880 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 524 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,579 Now, that's what I call draggin'. 525 00:21:37,580 --> 00:21:39,160 What? It's a joke. 526 00:21:39,170 --> 00:21:41,307 You're a dragon draggin' your stuff. 527 00:21:41,308 --> 00:21:42,851 I understand. 528 00:21:42,860 --> 00:21:44,687 So, how you doing? 529 00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:46,769 I grow weary of you humans. 530 00:21:46,770 --> 00:21:49,150 How about 50 bucks? You weary of 50 bucks? 531 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:50,380 I'm trying to cheat on my wife. 532 00:21:50,390 --> 00:21:52,580 I'm looking for a little magic, a little fantasy. 533 00:21:52,590 --> 00:21:53,590 You could use some help. 534 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,590 Let's help each other, huh? 50 bucks. 535 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:00,380 Slut. 536 00:22:00,390 --> 00:22:01,620 Nice. 537 00:22:01,630 --> 00:22:03,454 Is there a reason you can speak? 538 00:22:03,455 --> 00:22:06,166 Yeah, and I'm ashamed of it. 539 00:22:06,180 --> 00:22:08,450 Then speak of it no more. 540 00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:11,640 Do you wish to eat, maybe bond a little? 541 00:22:11,650 --> 00:22:13,759 Yeah, I could bond. 542 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,718 How long does it take you to fly to Florida?