1 00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:03,080 Morty, be sure to pee before we go. 2 00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:04,600 This adventure is gonna be a long haul, 3 00:00:04,610 --> 00:00:06,380 and I don't feel like emptying the jug. 4 00:00:06,390 --> 00:00:08,909 Jerry, will you please just let me automate this fucking task? 5 00:00:08,910 --> 00:00:10,600 I didn't ask for anyone's help. 6 00:00:10,610 --> 00:00:12,240 You two are welcome to leave. 7 00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:13,700 Mom told me she wanted me to stay here 8 00:00:13,710 --> 00:00:14,860 to make sure you didn't die. 9 00:00:14,870 --> 00:00:17,440 Well, you tell your mother that I'm gonna be fine. 10 00:00:17,450 --> 00:00:19,333 Don't train your child to lie, Jerry, 11 00:00:19,334 --> 00:00:21,050 even though, you know, 'tis the season. 12 00:00:21,060 --> 00:00:23,850 Then I'll tell her. Whoa! 13 00:00:23,860 --> 00:00:25,740 I told you, no more rays. 14 00:00:25,750 --> 00:00:27,400 What ray did you zap me with? 15 00:00:27,410 --> 00:00:30,300 I made your atomic matrix slightly lighter than air, 16 00:00:30,310 --> 00:00:32,682 and now your shoes are heavier than air, 17 00:00:32,690 --> 00:00:34,340 which makes you neutrally buoyant, 18 00:00:34,350 --> 00:00:37,280 which I find personally more impressive conceptually 19 00:00:37,290 --> 00:00:39,140 than walking on water, but what do I know? 20 00:00:39,150 --> 00:00:41,329 I wasn't born into the god business. 21 00:00:41,330 --> 00:00:42,441 I fucking earned it. 22 00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:44,780 Whoa! 23 00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:47,363 Just to be clear, this doesn't mean you helped me. 24 00:00:47,370 --> 00:00:48,589 It wears off in 10 hours, 25 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,540 and the next hit will cost you 30 bucks. 26 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:53,260 Like I'll even be using it in 10 hours. 27 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:55,210 Siri, set a 9-hour and 50-minute timer. 28 00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:56,670 Playing The Beatles. 29 00:00:57,630 --> 00:00:59,060 - I need to pee. - Nope. 30 00:00:59,070 --> 00:01:00,760 Here, I've got a centipede you can swallow 31 00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:01,840 that makes you not have to go. 32 00:01:01,850 --> 00:01:03,460 I ain't swallowing no centipede. 33 00:01:03,470 --> 00:01:05,510 What, you think the centipede wants to eat your pee? 34 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,290 You're not the victim in this transaction. 35 00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:08,960 Uh-oh, flat tire. 36 00:01:08,970 --> 00:01:11,110 How the hell do you get a flat tire in space, Rick? 37 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,460 Obviously from a sharp thing in space, Morty. 38 00:01:13,470 --> 00:01:14,940 It's just crazy how much it feels 39 00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,120 like getting a regular flat. 40 00:01:16,130 --> 00:01:18,220 Oh, no, no, that's just my custom-programmed, 41 00:01:18,230 --> 00:01:20,890 fully immersive flat-tire indication experience. 42 00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:23,090 I can turn it off. I thought it was cooler 43 00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:25,420 than the celebrity voice package, but here. 44 00:01:25,430 --> 00:01:29,110 Flat tire... you should be... walkin'. 45 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:30,140 - Oof. - Yeah. 46 00:01:30,150 --> 00:01:32,619 - Can I come out with you, Rick? - No, I've seen this movie. 47 00:01:32,620 --> 00:01:34,510 Two guys leave the ship. 48 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:35,850 One guy goes spinning away. 49 00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:37,520 You're staying in here where it's safe. 50 00:01:42,350 --> 00:01:43,840 - Morty, goddamn it. - Come on. 51 00:01:43,850 --> 00:01:45,380 I n... I never get to be out here. 52 00:01:45,390 --> 00:01:47,260 Ugh, you young people think space is like 53 00:01:47,270 --> 00:01:48,600 "Saturday Night Live." 54 00:01:48,610 --> 00:01:51,120 You see it every day, so you dream of being in it, 55 00:01:51,130 --> 00:01:53,500 but it dreams of removing all the air from your body 56 00:01:53,510 --> 00:01:55,349 and making you float around it for eternity 57 00:01:55,350 --> 00:01:56,940 as a flash-mummified corpse, 58 00:01:56,950 --> 00:02:00,010 which is also what space wants, so get back in the car. 59 00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:02,060 I'm not in danger. There's nothing out here. 60 00:02:02,070 --> 00:02:03,603 Literally everything is out here, 61 00:02:03,604 --> 00:02:06,023 and unlike everywhere else, I'm too busy to help you. 62 00:02:06,024 --> 00:02:08,490 Right, because you're always so helpful. 63 00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:10,210 Ah! 64 00:02:12,030 --> 00:02:13,900 - God damn it. - What is that? 65 00:02:13,910 --> 00:02:15,600 Obviously, it's a space snake. 66 00:02:15,610 --> 00:02:17,380 T-There's snakes in space? 67 00:02:17,390 --> 00:02:19,700 There's literally everything in space, Morty! 68 00:02:19,710 --> 00:02:21,832 Now get the fuck back in the car. 69 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:53,699 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 70 00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:55,740 I'm dying, Rick. 71 00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:57,940 I can see the black mountain. 72 00:02:57,950 --> 00:03:00,380 People who are really dying don't keep bring it up. 73 00:03:00,390 --> 00:03:01,640 - Is that true? - I don't know. 74 00:03:01,650 --> 00:03:03,880 I'm just usually around people that die faster. 75 00:03:03,890 --> 00:03:05,920 All right. All right. 76 00:03:05,930 --> 00:03:07,750 J-Just let me analyze the snake's planet, 77 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,171 so I can whip up an antivenom. 78 00:03:09,172 --> 00:03:11,280 Computer, you might want to put a rush on this. 79 00:03:11,290 --> 00:03:13,800 Morty's starting to look like a '90s Japanese ghost. 80 00:03:13,810 --> 00:03:15,600 Cutting corners. 81 00:03:15,610 --> 00:03:18,120 Oof, oh, my God, these snakes are a mess. 82 00:03:18,130 --> 00:03:20,840 19 billion snakes divided into 10,000 nations 83 00:03:20,850 --> 00:03:23,360 all on the brink of global war over... 84 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,040 race. 85 00:03:25,050 --> 00:03:26,140 How funny is that? 86 00:03:26,150 --> 00:03:28,170 Imagine being a racist snake. 87 00:03:28,180 --> 00:03:29,500 "Hey, other snake, I hate you 88 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:31,540 because you're the wrong color, snake." 89 00:03:31,550 --> 00:03:34,060 Oh, my God. You're not laughing? 90 00:03:34,070 --> 00:03:35,600 Oh, you're dying. 91 00:03:35,610 --> 00:03:38,110 It's a miracle they were able to fling one this far out 92 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:39,840 before they slithered into extinction. 93 00:03:39,850 --> 00:03:42,380 Oh, oh, God, I killed their... 94 00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:44,680 What's his name, their Buzz Aspirin? 95 00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:46,060 It's actually Buzz Advil, Morty, 96 00:03:46,070 --> 00:03:47,520 and, uh, this is totally different. 97 00:03:47,530 --> 00:03:48,600 It's a female snake. 98 00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:50,190 There's an extra layer of heartbreak. 99 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:51,940 Wait. Wait. Morty, Morty, you hear that? 100 00:03:51,950 --> 00:03:53,600 Listen. 101 00:03:53,610 --> 00:03:55,530 Snake jazz. 102 00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:57,919 Ha. Idiots. Let's get moving. 103 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:00,139 We've got a long way to go, and I'm not sharing that centipede. 104 00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:01,380 Rick, wait. Go back. 105 00:04:01,390 --> 00:04:04,540 I-I can't be the reason why 19 billion snakes lost all hope. 106 00:04:04,550 --> 00:04:07,200 That's right, Morty. Only 19 billion snakes can do that. 107 00:04:07,210 --> 00:04:09,610 That species was never getting beyond this stage. 108 00:04:09,620 --> 00:04:11,880 To paraphrase the great Jeff Foxworthy, 109 00:04:11,890 --> 00:04:14,110 if you bite your first contact on its ankle, 110 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,655 you might be a type-zero-civilization-neck." 111 00:04:18,690 --> 00:04:20,300 What up, homeys? 112 00:04:20,310 --> 00:04:21,742 Shooting hoops, I see. 113 00:04:21,743 --> 00:04:23,690 Hey, who's interested in a friendly bet 114 00:04:23,700 --> 00:04:25,580 that this white guy can jump. 115 00:04:25,590 --> 00:04:27,890 Hey, leave the racial stuff off the court, okay? 116 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:30,000 Oh, I thought that kind of talk was part of street ball. 117 00:04:30,010 --> 00:04:32,760 Well, now it's part of everything else, so chill. 118 00:04:32,770 --> 00:04:34,180 We... We got off on the wrong foot. 119 00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:36,120 My name is Jerry Smith. I live in the suburbs. 120 00:04:36,130 --> 00:04:38,100 I'm only here because I have a certain power 121 00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:40,180 I wanted to kind of celebrate before it goes away. 122 00:04:40,190 --> 00:04:41,920 Yo, we got a Nazi up here. 123 00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:44,180 Hey, I think there's a misunderstanding. 124 00:04:44,190 --> 00:04:45,940 Here, just... just watch. 125 00:04:45,950 --> 00:04:47,110 Huh? 126 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,340 Help! Help! 127 00:04:48,350 --> 00:04:50,105 I-I need that shoe! 128 00:04:51,060 --> 00:04:53,660 No, no, don't touch that shoe or that money. 129 00:04:53,670 --> 00:04:55,840 Let them be a powerful but confusing monument 130 00:04:55,850 --> 00:04:57,279 to our neighborhood's integrity. 131 00:04:57,280 --> 00:05:00,560 Oh, boy, what an adventure, huh? 132 00:05:00,570 --> 00:05:02,610 Hey, Morty, listen. I can tell you're pretty upset 133 00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:04,160 about the whole snake encounter thing, 134 00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:05,400 so I'll tell you what. 135 00:05:05,410 --> 00:05:06,660 I'm just gonna go ahead and avoid you 136 00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:08,110 for the rest of the day. 137 00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:12,470 Play snake jazz. 138 00:05:26,730 --> 00:05:28,143 I-Is this one friendly? 139 00:05:28,144 --> 00:05:29,340 It's a snake. 140 00:05:29,350 --> 00:05:31,500 You ever... You ever see this one look up at the sky 141 00:05:31,510 --> 00:05:33,720 like it's dreaming of something more? 142 00:05:33,730 --> 00:05:36,960 No, but, uh, all those ones marked with red sticker, yeah. 143 00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,940 Any snake over 50 bucks yearns for the beyond. 144 00:05:38,950 --> 00:05:40,400 I-I-I've seen them do it. 145 00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:46,570 Ow! Damn it, Slippy, come on. 146 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,690 Ow! Just please. 147 00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:50,999 I'm sorry. 148 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:54,960 Everyone has a plumbus in their home. 149 00:05:54,970 --> 00:05:57,756 First, they take the dinglepop. 150 00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:04,270 Ow! Fucking monster. 151 00:08:01,810 --> 00:08:03,040 Downbeat. 152 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,410 How do you win this fucking game? 153 00:08:04,420 --> 00:08:05,890 We-We've never gotten that far. 154 00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:08,250 Guys, did I not tell you to keep your eye on Jerry? 155 00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:09,700 - We did. - Then where is he? 156 00:08:09,710 --> 00:08:11,160 Maybe he's having an affair. 157 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,940 But for real, has anyone seen him? 158 00:08:15,950 --> 00:08:17,860 Grandpa, did you trap him in a painting again? 159 00:08:17,870 --> 00:08:18,880 I didn't do shit. 160 00:08:18,890 --> 00:08:21,000 Well, y-y-you made him floaty. 161 00:08:21,010 --> 00:08:22,320 - Asshole. - Made him floaty? 162 00:08:22,330 --> 00:08:25,560 I saved his life by making his body slightly lighter than air, 163 00:08:25,570 --> 00:08:27,200 and it expires in a couple of hours. 164 00:08:27,210 --> 00:08:29,600 Expires, like he'll fall out of the sky? 165 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,060 He won't by in the sky, Beth, 166 00:08:31,070 --> 00:08:34,820 unless it's possible for Jerry to fuck up wearing shoes. 167 00:08:34,830 --> 00:08:36,910 - Oh, crap, he's gonna die. - What were you thinking? 168 00:08:45,430 --> 00:08:46,630 Hey, babe. 169 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,620 Jerry, are you in the air? 170 00:08:48,630 --> 00:08:50,179 Rick told me he made you floaty. 171 00:08:50,180 --> 00:08:52,040 Made me floaty? Pfft. 172 00:08:52,050 --> 00:08:54,500 Got to love Rick's world view. 173 00:08:54,510 --> 00:08:56,640 Yes, I had Rick make me floaty 174 00:08:56,650 --> 00:08:57,860 so I could put up some lights. 175 00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,470 Now, I'm at the light store. 176 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:00,560 Get away! 177 00:09:00,570 --> 00:09:04,568 Sorry, this lady at the store is trying to peck me. 178 00:09:04,570 --> 00:09:08,220 Yes, you can help me find lights after I'm off the phone. 179 00:09:08,230 --> 00:09:10,310 We're in Rick's ship. How about we just pick you up? 180 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:11,840 - You're with Rick? - Well, why wouldn't I... 181 00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:13,440 Jerry, I paused Beth with a device 182 00:09:13,450 --> 00:09:15,800 Christopher Walken gave me after a record session. 183 00:09:15,810 --> 00:09:17,080 Real talk, buddy, where you at? 184 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,960 - Go to hell, Rick. - Come on, Jerry. 185 00:09:18,970 --> 00:09:20,600 I can recognize the sound of a seagull. 186 00:09:20,610 --> 00:09:23,040 Can you recognize the sound of a man's pants 187 00:09:23,050 --> 00:09:24,680 filling up with rain? 188 00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:26,630 I hope to one day. 189 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,480 Jerry, I'll tell you what. 190 00:09:28,490 --> 00:09:30,636 Because it's Christmas, I'm gonna do you a favor. 191 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,829 I won't let you die, and I won't tell Beth 192 00:09:32,830 --> 00:09:33,847 that you almost killed yourself. 193 00:09:33,848 --> 00:09:36,767 - Sounds like a win-win to me. - Come again? 194 00:09:36,768 --> 00:09:39,220 If I survive, it'll be without you, 195 00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:41,540 and if I die, it'll be on your ass. 196 00:09:41,550 --> 00:09:43,540 Merry Christmas, bitch. 197 00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:47,611 I am the Jesus Christ of Christmas! 198 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:02,260 I be with him? 199 00:10:02,270 --> 00:10:04,300 We both care. 200 00:10:04,310 --> 00:10:06,440 - Whoa. Jerry. - Yes, honey? 201 00:10:06,450 --> 00:10:07,970 Let us just come get you. 202 00:10:07,980 --> 00:10:09,460 Beth, I am so touched 203 00:10:09,470 --> 00:10:11,620 that you care for me this much, but I'm fine, 204 00:10:11,630 --> 00:10:13,370 and I just want to put up these Christmas lights, 205 00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:15,240 and I will eat your world. 206 00:10:15,250 --> 00:10:17,520 Honey, my dad can hear you. 207 00:10:17,530 --> 00:10:18,910 Got to go. 208 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,280 See you soon. 209 00:10:20,290 --> 00:10:21,380 Okay. 210 00:10:24,770 --> 00:10:26,600 Well, it sounds like he's fine. 211 00:10:26,610 --> 00:10:29,152 Yeah, I'm almost kind of rooting for him this time. 212 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,320 One Diet Sprite Remix, please, 213 00:10:38,330 --> 00:10:40,940 and, uh, is anyone here an Uber driver? 214 00:10:40,950 --> 00:10:42,495 You can't bring that boulder in here. 215 00:10:42,496 --> 00:10:44,320 - What? - I said no boulders. 216 00:10:44,330 --> 00:10:46,060 - This ain't the lake, buddy. - Drop the rock. 217 00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:48,270 Well, it's kind of a... a service boulder. 218 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:49,680 Yeah, I float without it. 219 00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,740 Big man holding a big rock, 220 00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:53,010 think you can take me down? 221 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,640 No, obviously not. 222 00:10:54,650 --> 00:10:56,190 - You're huge. - Then put it down. 223 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:57,380 - Put the boulder down! - If I put it down, 224 00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:58,620 - I'm going to float. - Drop it! 225 00:10:58,630 --> 00:10:59,960 - Put it down! - And frankly, your bar 226 00:10:59,970 --> 00:11:00,970 has a lot of ceiling fans. 227 00:11:00,980 --> 00:11:02,440 - You think you're better than us? - Drop the rock. 228 00:11:02,450 --> 00:11:04,560 - Put it down. - Okay, okay, okay. 229 00:11:04,570 --> 00:11:05,740 Hey, whoa, what the fuck. 230 00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,460 - Stop doing that. - I told you this would happen. 231 00:11:07,470 --> 00:11:08,480 - Well, stop floating. - Who said you could float here? 232 00:11:08,490 --> 00:11:10,160 I can't control it. 233 00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:16,430 Aaaaaaaaaah! 234 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,570 And take your girlfriend with you. 235 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,700 Summer, how supes shook am I 236 00:11:25,710 --> 00:11:27,440 about your playlisting fleekness tonight? 237 00:11:27,450 --> 00:11:29,039 You love it? It's snake jazz. 238 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,050 My little brother got bit by a snake in outer space 239 00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:32,210 and killed it with a hubcap, 240 00:11:32,220 --> 00:11:33,900 and my grandpa had to scan its planet's culture 241 00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:35,552 for an antivenom, and they found this. 242 00:11:35,553 --> 00:11:36,900 It's my jam. 243 00:11:36,910 --> 00:11:40,240 Seriously, my new thing now is snake jazz. 244 00:11:40,250 --> 00:11:42,460 Can you alter the course of a species' evolution like that 245 00:11:42,470 --> 00:11:43,479 without repercussions? 246 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:44,890 Gee, I don't know, Nancy. 247 00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:47,270 Can you alter the course of being a giant fucking nerd? 248 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:48,620 - Sorry. - Also, later, 249 00:11:48,630 --> 00:11:50,509 we need to discuss your clothing and your weight. 250 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:51,526 That's fair. 251 00:11:53,650 --> 00:11:54,650 What the hell? 252 00:11:54,660 --> 00:11:57,040 Target acquired. 253 00:12:03,850 --> 00:12:05,340 Snakes! Get back in the car! 254 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,833 Morty, enough with the... Snakes! 255 00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:08,919 Target acquired. 256 00:12:10,650 --> 00:12:13,060 Aliens, I am a robot sent back in time 257 00:12:13,070 --> 00:12:14,220 by the Snake Resistance 258 00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:15,849 to protect you from Serpacorp. 259 00:12:15,850 --> 00:12:17,930 My appearance is designed to be familiar 260 00:12:17,940 --> 00:12:18,969 and to put you at ease. 261 00:12:18,970 --> 00:12:22,339 The ape child must be eliminated to protect our timeline. 262 00:12:22,340 --> 00:12:23,805 Morty, what the hell did you do? 263 00:12:23,806 --> 00:12:25,760 I was just trying to do the right thing. 264 00:12:25,770 --> 00:12:27,100 I took a living snake... 265 00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:32,769 - Get behind me. I will protect... - Aaah! 266 00:12:38,530 --> 00:12:40,320 Why... Why are they attacking us? 267 00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:41,520 I-I-I helped them. 268 00:12:41,530 --> 00:12:43,240 You gave them proof that there was something bigger 269 00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:45,360 and scarier to unite against, you little idiot. 270 00:12:45,370 --> 00:12:46,840 They would have gone back into the Dark Ages 271 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,120 for a couple of generations, 272 00:12:48,130 --> 00:12:49,790 but instead, they dedicated themselves 273 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,260 into making universe-destroying, 274 00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,660 un-thought-out technology like time travel 275 00:12:53,670 --> 00:12:56,260 all so they could try to kill a little shit sack on Earth 276 00:12:56,270 --> 00:12:57,720 who couldn't let a dead snake be dead 277 00:12:57,730 --> 00:12:59,700 even after it bit his ankle. 278 00:12:59,710 --> 00:13:02,469 Next time, stay in the fucking car. 279 00:13:02,470 --> 00:13:08,310 17 billion snake lives ended on June 21, 2026. 280 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:12,520 The survivors lived only to face a new nightmare, 281 00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:15,980 - the war between snake and machine. 282 00:13:15,990 --> 00:13:19,160 In the end, snake overcame machine 283 00:13:19,170 --> 00:13:21,130 because of what we couldn't predict... 284 00:13:21,140 --> 00:13:26,600 that an alien, a child from a distant star, would save us. 285 00:13:40,310 --> 00:13:43,350 W-Where are we going? W-What are we doing here, Rick? 286 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:44,639 We got to get the heart of Snake Net. 287 00:13:44,650 --> 00:13:46,149 Now, shut up, and stay close. 288 00:13:46,150 --> 00:13:48,609 Resistance is mouselike. 289 00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,880 Whoa, hey, look. That one's actually really cool. 290 00:13:50,890 --> 00:13:51,969 Come here, little guy. 291 00:13:51,970 --> 00:13:53,890 Ah, you little son of a bitch. 292 00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,569 Come on, Morty. 293 00:13:55,570 --> 00:13:59,269 Your brood must be exterminated. 294 00:13:59,270 --> 00:14:01,830 You will not kill her or her brood. 295 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,610 - Must kill brood and mother. - Get behind me. 296 00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:06,770 Your brood will seed all life on this planet. 297 00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:08,497 - That doesn't make sense. - That didn't make sense. 298 00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:10,440 Hey, it's... it's Slippy! 299 00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:12,209 Keep up, shit bag. 300 00:14:25,150 --> 00:14:26,440 Hi, you went directly to voicemail 301 00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:27,800 because your number is not in my phone. 302 00:14:27,810 --> 00:14:29,190 Don't leave a message. 303 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,660 Hi, honey. 304 00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:33,580 Uh, look. Morty told me that you didn't think 305 00:14:33,590 --> 00:14:36,410 I could hang lights without killing myself. 306 00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:41,870 Look, I want to be a strong man for you, but the truth is... 307 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:45,840 The truth is, I'm coming home with the best lights ever. 308 00:14:48,650 --> 00:14:49,700 Oof. 309 00:14:49,710 --> 00:14:51,340 Whoa, feel that turbulence? 310 00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:52,740 Nope, I'm on molly. 311 00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:55,550 Give me some. Ahh. 312 00:15:00,610 --> 00:15:02,710 Aaaah! 313 00:15:05,230 --> 00:15:06,929 I don't suppose you guys will take a bribe? 314 00:15:06,930 --> 00:15:08,849 Ah! 315 00:15:11,940 --> 00:15:14,500 Anyone else want legs? 316 00:15:19,790 --> 00:15:21,480 God damn it. Are you kidding me? 317 00:15:21,490 --> 00:15:23,280 I thought there'd be a time machine in here. 318 00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,440 They're not even a quarter of the way through making it. 319 00:15:25,450 --> 00:15:26,867 I'm gonna have to invent it for them. 320 00:15:26,870 --> 00:15:28,590 I-I don't know snake math. 321 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,360 Ugh, I didn't want to have to do this. 322 00:15:30,370 --> 00:15:31,920 Fuck. All right. 323 00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:33,940 W-What's going on? What are you doing? 324 00:15:33,950 --> 00:15:37,294 I'm reminding myself to commit even more to your fuck up. 325 00:15:37,295 --> 00:15:38,340 Hey, assholes. 326 00:15:38,350 --> 00:15:39,730 Fuck you. Takes one to know one. 327 00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:41,000 What the heck? 328 00:15:41,010 --> 00:15:43,460 - Hey, man, you... you okay? - You know what? Fuck you. 329 00:15:43,470 --> 00:15:45,800 - What? Screw you. - Here. 330 00:15:45,810 --> 00:15:47,190 Come on. Was it really that hard? 331 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,110 What do you think? Come on, Morty. 332 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,120 Man, I-I-I wonder why I had a black eye. 333 00:15:51,130 --> 00:15:53,070 Morty, shut the fuck up and put these on. 334 00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:04,490 Okay, so w-what are we doing? 335 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:05,890 That book has everything they need 336 00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:07,360 to create snake time travel, 337 00:16:07,370 --> 00:16:10,320 a-and they're getting it in 1985, snake time. 338 00:16:10,330 --> 00:16:12,800 Now, they're gonna do it so early that it won't involve us, 339 00:16:12,810 --> 00:16:14,247 and they're gonna be even stupider with it. 340 00:16:14,248 --> 00:16:15,659 Huh, a-and then what? 341 00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:17,480 We're removing ourselves from this sloppy, 342 00:16:17,490 --> 00:16:19,520 fucked up story and letting snake time travel 343 00:16:19,530 --> 00:16:21,100 eat its own tail. 344 00:17:30,290 --> 00:17:32,460 Just have to keep my grip. 345 00:17:32,470 --> 00:17:34,960 Jerry Smith, I am here to save you. 346 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:37,460 What? I already told Rick I don't want help. 347 00:17:37,470 --> 00:17:38,780 I do not know Rick. 348 00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:41,180 I was sent by a society of human-snake hybrids... 349 00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:43,150 - Classic Rick. - ... from an alternate version... 350 00:17:46,170 --> 00:17:48,130 I did it! We're landing! 351 00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:49,629 I knew I could do it. 352 00:17:59,230 --> 00:18:01,920 Jesus Christ, Rick, it's pandemonium out there! 353 00:18:01,930 --> 00:18:03,860 T-This is worse than when we left. 354 00:18:03,870 --> 00:18:05,900 Rick, look, Summer! 355 00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:12,530 Nobody chokes me without consent. 356 00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:14,400 Y-You just made things worse, Rick. 357 00:18:14,410 --> 00:18:17,140 Trust me, Morty. We helped them press on the gas pedal. 358 00:18:17,150 --> 00:18:19,456 We just got to wait for them to blow by a cop. 359 00:18:23,330 --> 00:18:25,440 Shleemypants here, what's up? 360 00:18:25,450 --> 00:18:28,430 Snakes? Time travel? They did what? 361 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,540 How the fuck did... Okay, okay, I'm on it. 362 00:18:31,550 --> 00:18:35,270 We got a 10-51 on a goddamn snake planet. 363 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,420 Don't look at me. I'm afraid of snakes. 364 00:18:37,430 --> 00:18:39,180 "I'm afraid of snakes," bullshit. 365 00:18:39,190 --> 00:18:41,100 You afraid of work. That's what you afraid of. 366 00:18:41,110 --> 00:18:42,410 All right. All right. 367 00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:43,850 Let's go take care of this. 368 00:18:49,070 --> 00:18:50,740 Oh, look at you. 369 00:18:50,750 --> 00:18:52,260 You a smart snake, huh? 370 00:18:52,270 --> 00:18:54,180 You using tools now, huh? 371 00:18:54,190 --> 00:18:55,490 Those tools are gonna turn into you 372 00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:57,300 manipulating the fabric of shit. 373 00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:59,000 - Get over here, motherfucker. - What the fuck you think you doing? 374 00:18:59,010 --> 00:19:02,699 - Don't fuck with time. - You don't fuck with time. 375 00:19:04,750 --> 00:19:06,170 Holy shit. 376 00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:07,189 What happened? 377 00:19:07,190 --> 00:19:09,140 Look, this is better than them attacking us. 378 00:19:09,150 --> 00:19:10,740 Also, that's about as much curvature 379 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,217 as you're gonna get from a time-travel story. 380 00:19:12,220 --> 00:19:15,080 You know what? This one counts as one of your adventures. 381 00:19:15,090 --> 00:19:16,440 - Hey, come on. - No freebies. 382 00:19:16,450 --> 00:19:18,500 Aw, man, I-I wanted to go to Boob World. 383 00:19:18,510 --> 00:19:20,550 Well, now, we can't because you fucked up. 384 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,340 Got to learn a lesson. 385 00:19:22,350 --> 00:19:23,980 You want to go to Boob World, Summer? 386 00:19:23,990 --> 00:19:25,560 Eh, not today. 387 00:19:25,570 --> 00:19:28,960 This sucks. 388 00:19:28,970 --> 00:19:31,160 Hey, honey, check it out. 389 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,200 Jerry, I was worried about you. 390 00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:35,600 Oh, just killing some snakes up here like everyone else, 391 00:19:35,610 --> 00:19:37,782 I guess, and finishing the Christmas lights. 392 00:19:37,783 --> 00:19:40,129 Wait, the whole time? I was screaming for help, 393 00:19:40,130 --> 00:19:41,289 and you stayed on the roof? 394 00:19:41,290 --> 00:19:43,580 I couldn't hear you over my own screaming. 395 00:19:43,590 --> 00:19:44,704 We've talked about this. 396 00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:46,543 Well, I'm just glad you're safe. 397 00:19:46,550 --> 00:19:49,580 Well, duh, of course, I'm safe. 398 00:19:49,590 --> 00:19:51,050 Hey, guess what, asshole. 399 00:19:51,060 --> 00:19:52,250 I did it without you. 400 00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:53,760 Whoa! Ah! 401 00:19:53,770 --> 00:19:56,520 Oh, God, it hurts. 402 00:19:56,530 --> 00:19:57,790 What was that? 403 00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:59,570 I healed your leg 50%. 404 00:19:59,580 --> 00:20:01,620 The rest is on you, big man. 405 00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:04,561 That's what I'm talking about. Respect, my brother. 406 00:20:04,562 --> 00:20:06,820 Geez, your dad sucks. All right, Morty. 407 00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:08,898 Let's go enjoy a little bit of eggnog, huh? 408 00:20:08,899 --> 00:20:11,340 - All right. - Not so fast, boys. 409 00:20:11,350 --> 00:20:13,200 Yeah, I think you might be forgetting something. 410 00:20:13,210 --> 00:20:14,899 Merry Christmas, fuck nuts. Get to work. 411 00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:16,740 Geez, I don't see why you have to be smug about it. 412 00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:18,200 - A bunch of bullshit. - That's not necessary. 413 00:20:18,210 --> 00:20:20,240 - This fucking sucks. - Yeah, it's fun until it's you, 414 00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:21,980 - huh, shit nog? - Yeah, have fun sewing 415 00:20:21,990 --> 00:20:23,540 those snake costumes together, 416 00:20:23,550 --> 00:20:25,360 - you little tramp. - You tell them, Morty. 417 00:20:25,370 --> 00:20:27,300 Geez, you guys don't have to be dicks about it, all right? 418 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:28,900 Yeah, neither did the guys before us, 419 00:20:28,910 --> 00:20:30,040 but you know what? They were. 420 00:20:30,050 --> 00:20:32,440 - Merry Christmas, you shit bags. - Yeah, ghost of Christmas future, 421 00:20:32,450 --> 00:20:33,990 bitches, you fucking idiots. 422 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,510 - So mean. - Those guys are mean. 423 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:41,010 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 424 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:09,900 Man, I just want to open my Christmas presents. 425 00:21:09,910 --> 00:21:12,220 Well, I'm waiting on you to finish those snake costumes. 426 00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,760 I'm almost done. You know what? 427 00:21:13,770 --> 00:21:15,540 T-They're good enough. I'm done. 428 00:21:15,550 --> 00:21:17,508 All right. Let's go. 429 00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:20,511 All right. We're landing. Come on. 430 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,570 Man, I can't believe we're almost done, Rick. 431 00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:24,432 I can practically taste the eggnog. 432 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:25,810 Hey, you know what? 433 00:21:25,820 --> 00:21:27,900 I... I feel like we're forgetting something. 434 00:21:27,910 --> 00:21:29,950 Oh, yeah, uh, thanks for reminding me. 435 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,220 Morty, next time, stay in the car.