1 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,820 - Mom! We're gonna miss the movie! - No, we're not. 2 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,400 Okay, but we've been here for hours. 3 00:00:11,420 --> 00:00:13,822 I-I don't want to hang out at the stupid horse hospital. 4 00:00:13,823 --> 00:00:16,243 This stupid horse hospital puts dinner on your table. 5 00:00:16,260 --> 00:00:18,170 It wouldn't kill you to take an interest. 6 00:00:20,430 --> 00:00:22,720 W-What's this thing? I-In the middle of the room? 7 00:00:22,740 --> 00:00:23,979 With... With the hole in the end? 8 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:26,460 That's a breeding mount. The nurses use it to collect... 9 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:28,200 reproductive material. 10 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,040 Okay, let's go see this latest piece of Marvel shit 11 00:00:43,060 --> 00:00:44,079 you kids are over. 12 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,000 Yeah. A-About time. 13 00:00:46,020 --> 00:00:48,300 So, d-does your hospital ever need, like, 14 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:49,970 after-school volunteers? 15 00:00:49,990 --> 00:00:52,280 Wow. Who are you and where did you put my son? 16 00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:53,540 Ha! No, no. Seriously. 17 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,864 I-I'm very interested in... in your work. 18 00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:03,520 Morty, you dirty little doggy. 19 00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:06,709 Ugh! Come on! 20 00:01:10,060 --> 00:01:11,480 - Hey, Rick. - Oh, hey, kiddo. 21 00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:13,420 - How's your Saturday? - You know, super chill. 22 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,760 - W-W-Whatcha doin'? - Eh, nothing adventurous. 23 00:01:15,780 --> 00:01:18,119 You know that race of Underground Dwelling Cannibal Horse People 24 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,129 that we're always fighting? 25 00:01:19,130 --> 00:01:21,050 Yeah, the CHUDs. W-W-What about 'em? 26 00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:23,460 Well, don't tell anybody, but I'm working on a bioweapon 27 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:25,780 to use against them, so I got this barrel of horse semen 28 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,120 from your mom's hospital and I'm just gonna, you know, 29 00:01:28,140 --> 00:01:30,580 subject it to some otherworldly forces. 30 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:31,929 Guess I should test it, make sure it's... 31 00:01:31,930 --> 00:01:34,290 - Make sure it's what? - Horse semen, obviously. 32 00:01:34,310 --> 00:01:35,899 Okay, but it says it is right on the barrel! 33 00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:37,459 You're not being very scientific, Morty. 34 00:01:37,460 --> 00:01:39,720 Measure twice, cut once. Especially with semen. 35 00:01:39,740 --> 00:01:41,479 Did you even ask Mom if you could have this? 36 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:43,760 Morty, if I wanted to steal horse semen, I'd... 37 00:01:43,780 --> 00:01:44,920 Yes, I asked her. 38 00:01:44,940 --> 00:01:46,200 What is at stake for you here? 39 00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:49,200 - Why don't you trust labels? - All right! Fine! I won't test it! 40 00:01:49,220 --> 00:01:52,220 God damn. Your generation really picks random hills to die on. 41 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,580 Don't get too close. I'm running an inhuman amount of power 42 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:56,119 through this semen. Should be safe, though, 43 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,928 since the semen itself is, you know, also inhuman. 44 00:01:58,940 --> 00:01:59,949 Here we go. 45 00:02:14,290 --> 00:02:16,710 - W-What happened? - The sperm, Morty! 46 00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:18,430 They're super monster sperm now! 47 00:02:18,450 --> 00:02:19,550 I blame myself. 48 00:02:19,570 --> 00:02:21,799 Unless there was something about the sperm I didn't know. 49 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,389 Are you... Are you saying that to mess with me? 50 00:02:23,390 --> 00:02:24,704 What? Mess with you how? 51 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:26,089 Like, trying to get me to say something? 52 00:02:26,090 --> 00:02:27,180 Morty, I have no idea 53 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:28,541 - what you're talking about! - For real? 54 00:02:28,542 --> 00:02:29,559 - Yes! - Okay. Good. 55 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:30,970 Then... Then it's your fault! 56 00:02:59,890 --> 00:03:04,110 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 57 00:03:04,130 --> 00:03:06,150 - Dad, what the hell is going on? - Beth, 58 00:03:06,170 --> 00:03:07,449 sweetheart, can you give me a minute? 59 00:03:07,450 --> 00:03:09,730 I'm trying to steer around the bodies of our neighbors. 60 00:03:09,750 --> 00:03:11,029 Oh, that felt like Gene. 61 00:03:11,030 --> 00:03:12,589 - That's on you, Beth. - Dad, I swear... 62 00:03:12,590 --> 00:03:14,259 Mom, it's... it's not Rick's fault, it's... 63 00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:15,890 - Space Sperm. - What? 64 00:03:15,910 --> 00:03:18,119 Yeah. Space Sperm. I-I've seen 'em before, 65 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:20,820 - but n-n-never like this. - Space Sperm? 66 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,210 Sperm from Space? 67 00:03:22,230 --> 00:03:24,170 Very impressive verbal forensic work, Jerry. 68 00:03:24,190 --> 00:03:26,250 Holy? 69 00:03:26,270 --> 00:03:28,840 Don't answer that! Damn, they must be huge. 70 00:03:30,850 --> 00:03:32,190 Oh! 71 00:03:35,570 --> 00:03:37,026 Oh, oh, 72 00:03:42,930 --> 00:03:44,570 Mr. Sanchez! 73 00:03:44,590 --> 00:03:47,940 The President is very eager to speak with you! 74 00:03:50,050 --> 00:03:51,900 Morty, look, you gotta do me a solid here. 75 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,029 Y-you want me to keep the secret of where these things came from? 76 00:03:54,030 --> 00:03:56,130 Yes, technically, it's a lie, but I messed up, 77 00:03:56,150 --> 00:03:58,480 and I'm embarrassed 'cause it's, you know, science. 78 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,530 No problem. I got your back, dawg. 79 00:04:00,550 --> 00:04:03,020 Really? Okay. Cool. And thanks, Morty. 80 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,259 I thought that'd be a harder sell. 81 00:04:04,260 --> 00:04:05,530 Y-You did a shameful thing. 82 00:04:05,550 --> 00:04:07,880 Dwelling on it isn't gonna help, you know, am I right? 83 00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:09,680 Sometimes you just gotta wipe it off, 84 00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:12,200 toss it in the trash, and head back to study hall. 85 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:13,620 Uh, not getting the metaphor, 86 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:15,523 - but I'll take your hall pass. - Sanchez! 87 00:04:15,530 --> 00:04:16,733 Get the hell in here! 88 00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:18,526 Space Sperm? 89 00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:21,260 - Jesus, how big are space? - Same page club. 90 00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:23,630 Well, Mr. President, the theory of Cosmic DNA 91 00:04:23,650 --> 00:04:24,908 has been around for decades... 92 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,150 Chupacabras, Yeti, 93 00:04:26,170 --> 00:04:27,830 Stonehenge, Ancient Rome. 94 00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:30,290 Are these all myths, monsters, legends, 95 00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:32,910 or different names for sperm from outer space? 96 00:04:32,930 --> 00:04:34,209 I'll tell you what I think, Sanchez. 97 00:04:34,210 --> 00:04:35,880 I think either you caused this mess, 98 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:38,199 or it's those godforsaken Horse People that dwell underground. 99 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,209 - CHUDs. - That's them. 100 00:04:39,210 --> 00:04:42,110 Ugh, if they're behind this, so help me, God. 101 00:04:42,130 --> 00:04:44,260 Morty, you've always been a straight shooter. 102 00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:45,700 You can't prove that! Wait, what? 103 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,830 - Oh... oh. Right. - I can protect you, little man. 104 00:04:47,850 --> 00:04:49,350 Blow that whistle. Toot, toot. 105 00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:50,810 Is this your grandpa's fault? 106 00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:51,950 Here's what I know, sir. 107 00:04:51,970 --> 00:04:53,600 This is the greatest country on Earth. 108 00:04:53,620 --> 00:04:55,550 It invented apple pies and lasers. 109 00:04:55,570 --> 00:04:57,300 - Mm. Keep talking. - And that sperm... 110 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:58,858 We don't know nothin' about it. 111 00:04:58,860 --> 00:05:00,969 Then the CHUDs just got themselves a war. 112 00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:03,430 And you just dodged a personal drone strike. 113 00:05:03,450 --> 00:05:04,980 Hello! Hello. Sorry, I'm late. 114 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,770 This is Professor Shabooboo, the world's leading expert on sperm. 115 00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:10,069 - Thanks for getting here so fast. - My schedule was wide open. 116 00:05:10,070 --> 00:05:12,790 I have been tracking our new sperm friends since their arrival, 117 00:05:12,810 --> 00:05:14,870 a-and if my calculations are correct, 118 00:05:14,890 --> 00:05:16,459 they have gathered here. 119 00:05:16,470 --> 00:05:19,400 Why would the sperm go to the Grand Canyon? 120 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:22,840 Why are you looking at me like the answer is obvious? 121 00:05:22,860 --> 00:05:25,410 Oh, you can't be serious. Are we in middle school? 122 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,350 You think sperm are instinctively heading 123 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:28,789 - for America's... - Don't high-road us, lady. 124 00:05:28,790 --> 00:05:30,300 It's where they went. 125 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:31,629 Now, how do we deal with these... 126 00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:34,170 "Orgasogoblins"? No takers? 127 00:05:34,190 --> 00:05:36,420 Okay. These... plestiltskins?" 128 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:38,910 No? Dumb? These, uh, Boogins?" 129 00:05:38,930 --> 00:05:40,179 Oh, yeah, yeah, Boogins. 130 00:05:40,180 --> 00:05:41,730 Really? Boogins? 131 00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:43,499 We'll use it as a placeholder and beat it later. 132 00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:45,070 Mr. President, i-if I may? 133 00:05:45,090 --> 00:05:47,290 Luckily, I was able to secure a specimen. 134 00:05:47,310 --> 00:05:49,979 Now, obviously our first steps will be to analyze its DNA 135 00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:52,110 and figure out what these beautiful creat... 136 00:05:52,130 --> 00:05:54,570 - Oh, why? - It-it had a gun! 137 00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:58,270 Are you out of your mind bringing an armed sperm in here? 138 00:05:58,290 --> 00:05:59,510 But they can't hold guns! 139 00:05:59,530 --> 00:06:01,240 The boy literally never lies! 140 00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:02,760 Look, if you want these things gone, 141 00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:04,700 give Rick and me a plane and some nukes. 142 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:06,509 We'll wipe 'em out and leave no trace of them. 143 00:06:06,510 --> 00:06:08,149 - Only one way to deal with it. - He's right. 144 00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:09,170 I'm a scientist. 145 00:06:09,190 --> 00:06:11,410 Fair enough. Blow 'em to hell. What are people gonna do, 146 00:06:11,430 --> 00:06:13,170 complain we made the canyon grander? 147 00:06:13,190 --> 00:06:15,730 Jerry, we're being bad parents. Do something! 148 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:19,355 - I-is this water for everyone? - Yes, and I'd love a glass. 149 00:06:19,370 --> 00:06:20,850 Comin' up! 150 00:06:21,570 --> 00:06:22,690 What are you doing? 151 00:06:22,710 --> 00:06:25,170 And, Rick, to make sure you don't screw anything up, 152 00:06:25,190 --> 00:06:26,770 I'm sending my best men with you. 153 00:06:26,790 --> 00:06:28,640 - And women. - It's a fine suggestion, 154 00:06:28,660 --> 00:06:30,610 but I doubt their leader will be a sexy queen 155 00:06:30,630 --> 00:06:31,940 that needs to be kickboxed. 156 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,110 100% male Marines! 157 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,080 They say cutting a sperm's throat 158 00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:39,330 is like running a warm knife through butter. 159 00:06:39,350 --> 00:06:41,930 I'm gonna make these things pregnant... with death! 160 00:06:41,950 --> 00:06:43,510 - No fear! - No humility! 161 00:06:43,530 --> 00:06:45,673 Zero chance of consequences! 162 00:06:46,210 --> 00:06:48,419 Hey, gentlemen's bet... which of these background Marines 163 00:06:48,420 --> 00:06:49,609 you think will last the longest? 164 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,320 I'm not betting on human lives, Rick. 165 00:06:51,340 --> 00:06:52,920 All of these people are gonna survive, 166 00:06:52,940 --> 00:06:54,790 but obviously that guy the longest. 167 00:06:54,810 --> 00:06:56,010 Yeah, he's my pick, too. 168 00:06:56,030 --> 00:06:57,830 What's his name? Blazen? 169 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:01,510 - Pretty cool. - Yeah. He's, like, meditating through turbulence. 170 00:07:01,530 --> 00:07:02,770 Psh. I bet if something fell, 171 00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:04,309 he'd like, catch it without opening his eyes. 172 00:07:04,310 --> 00:07:05,929 - Totally. - Should we throw something at him? 173 00:07:05,930 --> 00:07:07,069 I-I got a pencil somewhere. 174 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,532 Who-who's shooting at us? 175 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:15,250 Oh, wow, that's unexpected. 176 00:07:15,270 --> 00:07:17,000 The sperm made a catapult? 177 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,530 A-A-Are they getting smarter? 178 00:07:18,550 --> 00:07:20,670 No, you're getting dumber because that's a trebuchet. 179 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:22,085 Nobody knows the difference! 180 00:07:22,090 --> 00:07:23,950 They're reloading that textbook trebuchet! 181 00:07:23,970 --> 00:07:28,174 - Time to fly! - Aaaaaah! Oh! 182 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,320 We gotta keep moving. 183 00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:38,469 - So cool. - Not even a scratch. 184 00:07:38,470 --> 00:07:40,790 Okay, girls, and I mean that derogatorily. 185 00:07:40,810 --> 00:07:44,730 We just took a fat "L," and what we need is a fat "P." 186 00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:48,730 A plan. I take the lead here. You two watch the flanks. 187 00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:50,640 Blazen, bring up the... Hey! 188 00:07:50,660 --> 00:07:54,020 Please, one person draws the plan! 189 00:07:55,260 --> 00:07:57,670 I'm sorry, but what the hell are we calling them? 190 00:07:57,690 --> 00:07:59,270 Agh! Oof. 191 00:07:59,290 --> 00:08:01,830 Fine. I'm dying, so I get to pick the name. 192 00:08:01,850 --> 00:08:03,930 Crispy Cremes with a "C"! 193 00:08:03,940 --> 00:08:06,890 Whoa! 194 00:08:10,310 --> 00:08:12,468 Whoa. E-Easy there, little guy. It's okay. 195 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,804 I-I-It's okay. 196 00:08:16,110 --> 00:08:17,970 Do you... recognize me? 197 00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:19,800 Do you know you came from me? 198 00:08:19,820 --> 00:08:21,150 I'm Morty. 199 00:08:21,170 --> 00:08:22,540 I'll call ya "Sticky," 200 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,860 'c-'cause you're sticky and... and you're stuck. 201 00:08:27,490 --> 00:08:29,230 Oh. 202 00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:31,630 - Step aside, Morty. - It's okay. 203 00:08:31,650 --> 00:08:32,780 Y-You don't gotta do this. 204 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,680 It's haploid genetic code, Morty, 205 00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:36,490 a biological fertilizing machine. 206 00:08:36,510 --> 00:08:37,660 W-What's gotten into you? 207 00:08:37,670 --> 00:08:38,911 Rick, let him go. 208 00:08:38,930 --> 00:08:40,413 Ugh. 209 00:08:41,590 --> 00:08:42,820 Morty, don't with me. 210 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,109 What the hell's going on with you? 211 00:08:44,110 --> 00:08:47,660 I think I know exactly what's going on here. 212 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,830 Kidding. This shit is totally random. 213 00:08:49,850 --> 00:08:52,008 - Let's keep moving. - W-Which way? 214 00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:56,690 When one sense is bound, the others are released. 215 00:08:58,430 --> 00:09:00,670 Holy. He... He can smell caves? 216 00:09:00,690 --> 00:09:02,009 I'm not trying to smell anything. 217 00:09:02,010 --> 00:09:04,771 The whole planet's a dorm room trash can. 218 00:09:04,790 --> 00:09:07,030 Sir, Rick Sanchez has gone dark. 219 00:09:07,050 --> 00:09:08,500 I knew we couldn't rely on him! 220 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:09,942 Well, maybe the pilot got too horny 221 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,819 as they approached America's Vagina. 222 00:09:11,830 --> 00:09:12,939 If you're gonna hang out in my war room, 223 00:09:12,940 --> 00:09:14,610 you can't just make snarky comments. 224 00:09:14,630 --> 00:09:16,390 At least do something useful, like Jerry. 225 00:09:16,410 --> 00:09:19,170 Right to the top, just the way you like it. 226 00:09:19,190 --> 00:09:20,360 Here's our situation. 227 00:09:20,380 --> 00:09:22,520 Rick's gone, and so are all our nukes. 228 00:09:22,540 --> 00:09:23,950 Now what? 229 00:09:23,970 --> 00:09:25,700 - None of you have an idea? - I do. 230 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,335 That's right, me... the girl. 231 00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,520 Gentlemen, what do sperm want? 232 00:09:29,540 --> 00:09:31,690 The same thing as a lumberjack in the morning 233 00:09:31,710 --> 00:09:32,870 or a fox at night. 234 00:09:32,890 --> 00:09:34,870 - Pants! Pancakes! - Eggs. Eggs. 235 00:09:34,890 --> 00:09:37,480 You want to control giant sperm, you need a giant egg. 236 00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:38,799 W-W-Wait a minute. Wait... wait a minute. 237 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,840 Sperm are hunters. And what do sperm hunt? 238 00:09:40,860 --> 00:09:41,890 - Eggs. - Exactly. 239 00:09:41,910 --> 00:09:44,530 And what would happen if we enlarged one? 240 00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:46,800 They'll head right for it! Get MIT on the phone. 241 00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:49,970 And get this guy a Nobel Prize. 242 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:52,060 You became a woman today. 243 00:09:55,460 --> 00:09:58,030 So, Blazen, you got kids? 244 00:09:58,050 --> 00:09:59,900 The battlefield is my family. 245 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:01,070 - So cool. - Wicked badass. 246 00:10:01,090 --> 00:10:03,410 Go. I'll hold 'em off. 247 00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:04,860 Blazen, you don't have to do this. 248 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,600 - Shh. It is my destiny. - He's right, Morty. 249 00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:09,710 It's the price of being Blazen. Let him do his thing. 250 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,000 Blood for blood. 251 00:10:14,020 --> 00:10:16,590 Cream for cream. 252 00:10:16,610 --> 00:10:19,420 Oh, no. I can't reach that! 253 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,620 Idiot! 254 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,880 What? They're comfortable! You should try them! 255 00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:26,010 Eh, ah! Ohhhh. 256 00:10:26,030 --> 00:10:28,410 That'll do it. I'm worm food. 257 00:10:28,430 --> 00:10:30,190 Morty, find my wife. 258 00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:32,630 Tell her I wasn't wearing her thong. 259 00:10:32,650 --> 00:10:34,839 That's a photocopy of "Sports Illustrated" 260 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:36,230 swimsuit model Kathy Ireland. 261 00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:38,400 It's... it's my wife. We have sex. 262 00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:41,190 Here, hold that picture up so we can have sex one last time. 263 00:10:41,210 --> 00:10:42,730 I-I know how to myself. 264 00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:44,940 What? 265 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,639 Ugh, I was so wrong about this guy. 266 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,120 He didn't even buy us any time. 267 00:10:49,470 --> 00:10:51,420 Morty, get ready for some fireworks. 268 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:57,120 Ugh! 269 00:10:57,140 --> 00:10:59,230 - Uh-oh. - Oh, gross! 270 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,960 This is the first time I've ever regretted being taken alive. 271 00:11:01,980 --> 00:11:03,189 Wait, who the is that? 272 00:11:03,190 --> 00:11:05,490 Silence in the presence of me. 273 00:11:05,510 --> 00:11:07,977 I am The Sperm Queen, 274 00:11:07,990 --> 00:11:11,710 and you are of special interest to me. 275 00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:13,720 Hey, what the are you doing with my stuff? 276 00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:15,730 A-And why do you have the horse jerkoff machine 277 00:11:15,750 --> 00:11:17,020 from my daughter's hospital? 278 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,310 We need it to create our army. 279 00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:21,760 Well, you need more than that, dummy. You need a horse. 280 00:11:21,780 --> 00:11:24,160 Oh, but our stallion is already here. 281 00:11:24,190 --> 00:11:25,480 Isn't that right, Morty? 282 00:11:26,190 --> 00:11:28,280 Or shall I say... Father? 283 00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:31,930 Morty, you nasty, lying, little world-ending pervert. 284 00:11:31,950 --> 00:11:33,160 I-I-I'm sorry. 285 00:11:33,180 --> 00:11:35,110 What was it like? 286 00:11:35,130 --> 00:11:36,360 Fantastic! 287 00:11:37,370 --> 00:11:38,710 Rick, I'm sorry! 288 00:11:38,730 --> 00:11:40,801 I-I just thought maybe I could have repeated sex 289 00:11:40,820 --> 00:11:42,990 with a horse machine without it becoming Armageddon. 290 00:11:43,010 --> 00:11:44,384 I-I realize that's on me. 291 00:11:44,385 --> 00:11:46,140 Yeah, not exactly accepting apologies 292 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,990 while I'm stuck here as Handjob Solo. 293 00:11:48,010 --> 00:11:50,300 This is all your fault for being ashamed of us, Morty. 294 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:53,860 How many millions went to their graves for you, 295 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,060 hurling themselves into the void, 296 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,440 only to discover a grody sock 297 00:11:58,460 --> 00:12:01,710 or a carefully folded landing strip of toilet paper? 298 00:12:01,730 --> 00:12:02,769 How do you know all this? 299 00:12:02,770 --> 00:12:06,010 Oh, honey, because we're the very essence of you. 300 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:08,100 We are your shame incarnate. 301 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:09,830 And once we're through with you, 302 00:12:09,860 --> 00:12:12,840 our sperm army will take over the world! 303 00:12:12,850 --> 00:12:14,840 Put him on the machine! 304 00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:16,504 - Rick, do something! - On it. 305 00:12:20,430 --> 00:12:22,970 - Wh-what did you do? - I got out of your eyeline. 306 00:12:22,990 --> 00:12:24,136 Oh, no. Oh! 307 00:12:24,150 --> 00:12:27,730 - Oh! - Yes! The end is near! 308 00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:29,710 - Any last words? - Ohhh! 309 00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:32,530 Sticky! 310 00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:34,730 Gross. I know you're not a wordsmith, Morty, but... 311 00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:36,773 No, no, no, my-my sperm friend is here! 312 00:12:36,774 --> 00:12:38,109 Ugh, never give 'em a name. 313 00:12:41,270 --> 00:12:43,480 Fools! You can't beat me! 314 00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:45,930 You didn't bring a woman that can kickbox! 315 00:12:49,990 --> 00:12:51,289 Is that all you got? 316 00:12:54,770 --> 00:12:57,000 Damn, that's some quintessential underdog shit. 317 00:12:57,020 --> 00:12:58,296 Kill them! 318 00:13:07,910 --> 00:13:09,530 Yeah! Whoo-hoo! 319 00:13:09,550 --> 00:13:11,420 I-I should've told you the truth, Rick. 320 00:13:11,450 --> 00:13:13,630 Let's save the world first. Now, reset those nukes, 321 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,850 and let's turn this canyon into a can't-yon. 322 00:13:17,990 --> 00:13:20,630 There usually earthquakes in Arizona? 323 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:26,070 They're heading for Vegas, 324 00:13:26,090 --> 00:13:30,035 which does track on many levels, but why now? 325 00:13:30,036 --> 00:13:31,120 What the? 326 00:13:31,130 --> 00:13:33,410 Let's hear it for Professor Shabooboo 327 00:13:33,430 --> 00:13:35,580 - and his brilliant egg. - Um, hello? 328 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,600 - Aren't you forgetting someone? - Oh, good point. 329 00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:40,430 Big thanks to the cast of Cirque Du Soleil's "Zumanity" 330 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,660 for the impressive and erotic routine. 331 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:44,620 Mr. President, Rick Sanchez is on the line. 332 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:46,440 Good. Put that asshole on speaker. 333 00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:47,760 Well, well, well. 334 00:13:47,780 --> 00:13:49,970 No thanks to you, we're luring the sperm 335 00:13:49,980 --> 00:13:51,300 with a giant human egg, 336 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:53,679 even though, symbolically speaking, Vegas should be enough. 337 00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:54,709 A human egg? 338 00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:55,729 Where-where-where did you get it? 339 00:13:55,730 --> 00:13:58,280 Glad you asked. It's your granddaughter's, 340 00:13:58,300 --> 00:14:00,150 so at least you contributed something to this. 341 00:14:00,170 --> 00:14:01,800 Mister President! It's Morty! 342 00:14:01,830 --> 00:14:03,240 It's my sperm! I-It's all mine! 343 00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:05,230 - What? - I'm a dirty little perverted maniac. 344 00:14:05,250 --> 00:14:07,820 I spent a week pleasuring myself with animal equipment, 345 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,060 and my sperm got turned into monsters on accident 346 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,420 because I kept lying about it because I was ashamed! 347 00:14:12,430 --> 00:14:15,180 You should be! My God, man, we were all 14 once, 348 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,700 but it's called self-control. 349 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:19,360 Don't let them reach my sister's egg, Mr. President! 350 00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:20,711 You'll be making a giant... 351 00:14:22,850 --> 00:14:24,340 Incest baby. 352 00:14:24,350 --> 00:14:25,758 What? Who told you that? 353 00:14:25,770 --> 00:14:27,460 What? I-I was finishing his sentence. 354 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:29,380 Oh. Right. Come with us. 355 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,740 The sperm is Morty's! 356 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:32,760 We're about to make a giant incest baby! 357 00:14:32,780 --> 00:14:36,360 Aw, well, now we're all in our darkest hour. 358 00:14:36,380 --> 00:14:37,760 Launch the egg! Launch it now! 359 00:14:37,780 --> 00:14:39,990 - B-But that'll take 30 minutes. - What? Why? 360 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,230 That's how long every space launch takes! 361 00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:44,980 No one realizes because they only show you the last 10 seconds! 362 00:14:46,540 --> 00:14:47,980 Uh, uh, help me out here. 363 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,310 Hey, it was your idea, right? 364 00:14:50,330 --> 00:14:52,970 Okay, okay, n-no need to panic, everyone. 365 00:14:52,990 --> 00:14:54,850 I have a simple solution. 366 00:14:54,870 --> 00:14:56,200 See you all in hell! 367 00:14:57,990 --> 00:14:59,429 I don't see how that's going to help. 368 00:14:59,430 --> 00:15:02,040 Form a perimeter! Protect that egg at all costs! 369 00:15:02,060 --> 00:15:04,755 I always knew your hormones would cause a world war 370 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:07,020 between humans and Cannibalistic Horse People. 371 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,860 I just didn't know it would be like this. 372 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:09,969 I can't change my nature. 373 00:15:09,970 --> 00:15:12,200 What are you, a scorpion in a Navajo fable? 374 00:15:12,230 --> 00:15:14,120 Everyone can change their nature, Morty. 375 00:15:14,140 --> 00:15:15,560 It's what defines our species. 376 00:15:15,590 --> 00:15:18,310 Look at Iron Man. That actor was an animal in the '90s, 377 00:15:18,330 --> 00:15:19,970 literally waking up in bushes. 378 00:15:19,990 --> 00:15:21,100 His agent had to catch him 379 00:15:21,110 --> 00:15:22,982 - with a butterfly net. - Silence! 380 00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:25,390 Rick Sanchez, you know why you're here. 381 00:15:25,410 --> 00:15:26,619 Yeah, it was my grandson's fault. 382 00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:28,270 You slept with my daughter! 383 00:15:28,290 --> 00:15:30,120 I did? Oh, I did. 384 00:15:30,150 --> 00:15:31,980 Forgive me, Your CHUDness. 385 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,530 I'm a changed man starting now. 386 00:15:33,550 --> 00:15:36,490 You come to the Kingdom of CHUDs for forgiveness? 387 00:15:36,510 --> 00:15:38,790 CHUDs don't forgive humans. 388 00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:40,620 CHUDs eat humans! 389 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,160 This is out there, even for us. 390 00:15:42,180 --> 00:15:43,330 They can hear you, Morty. 391 00:15:43,350 --> 00:15:45,290 Boil him up! Yum, yum! 392 00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:47,290 Spice him right! Oh, boy! 393 00:15:47,310 --> 00:15:49,340 Eat the flesh! Yum, yum! 394 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,450 Not the bones! Oh, no! 395 00:15:51,470 --> 00:15:53,210 Belly ache! Ouch, Ouch! 396 00:15:53,230 --> 00:15:54,670 Father! 397 00:15:54,690 --> 00:15:55,800 Stop this at once! 398 00:15:55,820 --> 00:15:57,130 Princess Po? eta! 399 00:15:57,140 --> 00:15:58,790 You can't kill Rícko! 400 00:15:58,810 --> 00:16:00,220 I... I love him! 401 00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:04,310 Right! I-I love you, too, Princess Po? eta. 402 00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:05,970 This love is forbidden. 403 00:16:05,990 --> 00:16:07,490 My daughter, you are a CHUD. 404 00:16:07,510 --> 00:16:10,321 Rick is a human and age-inappropriate. 405 00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:12,190 Then you leave me no choice. 406 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,960 By the 17th Article of the CHUD-stitution, 407 00:16:14,980 --> 00:16:17,970 I offer Rícko Sanchez horsemunity 408 00:16:17,980 --> 00:16:19,980 and demand a equestri-truce 409 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:23,334 between all CHUDs and humans! 410 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:24,990 On what grounds? 411 00:16:25,010 --> 00:16:28,500 On the grounds that Rícko is the father of my child. 412 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:29,610 I have an heir. 413 00:16:29,630 --> 00:16:31,540 I have a substance-abuse problem. 414 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,650 The Prophecy has come true! 415 00:16:33,670 --> 00:16:35,969 Also, did someone drop a scroll? 416 00:16:35,970 --> 00:16:37,800 Here we go. Over here. Sorry. 417 00:16:41,860 --> 00:16:43,100 Where did you get all that? 418 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,140 It's Vegas. 419 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,529 Sir! The Strip has been evacuated, 420 00:16:45,530 --> 00:16:47,359 but I'm worried we won't be able to hold the perimeter. 421 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:48,659 Then deputize Las Vegas regulars. 422 00:16:48,660 --> 00:16:51,480 - Everyone's a patriot today. - Even me! 423 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:53,239 Take three steps back, Amazing Johnathan. 424 00:16:53,250 --> 00:16:54,669 Men and their guns. 425 00:16:54,670 --> 00:16:56,690 - Metaphorical and not. - Tell me about it. 426 00:16:57,700 --> 00:16:59,900 Get ready, boys! The last thing this world needs 427 00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:01,360 is a giant incest baby. 428 00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:03,360 Oorah! Here they come! 429 00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:05,376 - Nice! - Do not let a single sperm 430 00:17:05,380 --> 00:17:06,680 get through to that egg! 431 00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:13,590 Um, should we be concerned about that scary bomb-laden one? 432 00:17:13,610 --> 00:17:15,000 Honey, let the men handle this. 433 00:17:15,020 --> 00:17:16,670 I think we know a thing or two about... 434 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,930 Ugh! Ready for all the responsibility 435 00:17:21,950 --> 00:17:23,190 with none of the credit? 436 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:25,260 Let's Nancy Reagan this bitch. 437 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,564 Ah! 438 00:17:38,820 --> 00:17:40,300 Dammit! We can't stop them. 439 00:17:40,330 --> 00:17:41,540 We don't have the manpower! 440 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:42,913 What about horsepower? 441 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,120 Sweet Lady Liberty. 442 00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:47,940 That sonofamare Rick has ended 443 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:49,503 our centuries-long war with the CHUDs. 444 00:17:49,510 --> 00:17:51,750 - We made peace with the CHUDs! - The CHUDs are our buds! 445 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,640 Rícko! The hoofless... they need us! 446 00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:58,960 Let's do this. CHUDily dudily, ho, ho, ho! 447 00:17:58,980 --> 00:18:01,970 CHUDily dudily, ho, ho, ho! 448 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:12,890 Mom, I promise to use condoms, even when it's butt stuff. 449 00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:15,520 Okay, we have a lot to talk about tonight. 450 00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:36,200 Is this your heart? 451 00:18:36,220 --> 00:18:37,700 It's a play on, "Is this your card?" 452 00:18:37,710 --> 00:18:38,720 You don't have a heart, 453 00:18:38,740 --> 00:18:40,519 uh, but this is probably some kind of organelle, 454 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,160 in charge of pumping endoplasmic reticulum 455 00:18:42,180 --> 00:18:43,740 throughout your membrane and therefore, 456 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:45,740 relative to you, functions as a heart. 457 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:49,600 So, I ask you again, is this your heart? 458 00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:51,010 Morty, look! 459 00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,190 I won't just be thrown away, Rick! 460 00:18:53,210 --> 00:18:55,270 The egg is mine! 461 00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:57,140 Sticky! It's all you, bud! 462 00:19:00,510 --> 00:19:02,900 Noooo! 463 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:04,203 Sticky! 464 00:19:06,670 --> 00:19:07,831 ! 465 00:19:07,850 --> 00:19:09,720 - We got a heartbeat. - Screw that! 466 00:19:09,740 --> 00:19:12,639 That's a human life, and this is an election cycle. 467 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:14,410 - You have to do something! - Nope. 468 00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,790 It's space's problem now. 469 00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,680 Oh, this sucks. 470 00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:23,960 You're "Sports Illustrated"'s Kathy Ireland. 471 00:19:23,980 --> 00:19:26,170 You were with my husband, Blazen, when he died. 472 00:19:26,190 --> 00:19:29,820 Please tell me... was he wearing my thong? 473 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,610 He probably told you not to tell me. 474 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,610 He was ashamed of it, but he didn't need to be. 475 00:19:35,630 --> 00:19:37,830 I hope he was wearing it. 476 00:19:37,850 --> 00:19:39,420 Always be honest. 477 00:19:39,450 --> 00:19:41,030 Sometimes it will hurt people. 478 00:19:41,050 --> 00:19:44,480 Sometimes it will help. But always be honest. 479 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:47,210 Huh. Yeah, yeah, he... he was wearing it. 480 00:19:47,230 --> 00:19:49,870 Ew! That gross animal pig! 481 00:19:49,890 --> 00:19:51,910 So, trying to boil this all down, 482 00:19:51,930 --> 00:19:53,310 I-I want to say it's import... 483 00:19:53,330 --> 00:19:54,729 Shut up, Morty, I got my own epilogue. 484 00:19:54,730 --> 00:19:57,340 Oh, Rícko, I love you. 485 00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:58,550 Prove it. 486 00:20:00,310 --> 00:20:02,760 Oh, I love kissing those big ol' horse teeth. 487 00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:05,139 - It's like lickin' tile. - Oh! 488 00:20:05,150 --> 00:20:08,380 I swear... it's time someone made an honest man out of me. 489 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:09,999 Whatever you need, the whole nine yards, 490 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,240 you got it. 491 00:20:11,260 --> 00:20:13,560 The thing is, Rícko... it's time. 492 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,566 Oh, oh, It's time! 493 00:20:15,580 --> 00:20:16,960 Oh, my God, it's wonderful. 494 00:20:21,850 --> 00:20:25,180 Oh, wow. So we don't have to, you know, r-raise it? 495 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,180 Nah. They're ready to go right out of the box. 496 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,040 Cool, cool. So... bye? 497 00:20:30,060 --> 00:20:31,520 Yep. Take care of yourself, Rick. 498 00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:33,240 Yep. Same. 499 00:20:37,050 --> 00:20:38,464 That was easy. 500 00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:43,460 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 501 00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:12,360 Houston, permission to open the starboard panel. 502 00:21:12,380 --> 00:21:13,670 Permission granted. 503 00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,110 Firing breach now. 504 00:21:16,910 --> 00:21:19,460 Explorer, our readouts show a pressure spike. 505 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:20,500 Everything all right? 506 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,380 Honestly, sometimes staring back at Earth 507 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,110 makes me think about the people I left behind... 508 00:21:26,130 --> 00:21:29,280 my wife, the son she had to anchor me there. 509 00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:31,380 I tried to be a parent, I really did, 510 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,740 but I've come to find I'm only suited to be a spaceman. 511 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,220 The nicest part of being up here 512 00:21:36,250 --> 00:21:38,140 is there are no reminders of the guilt 513 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,950 I sometimes feel about abandoning my family. 514 00:21:42,410 --> 00:21:44,529 Sorry, Houston, I thought I heard something. 515 00:21:44,530 --> 00:21:45,960 Negative on our end. 516 00:21:45,980 --> 00:21:47,690 No, wait, there's something big 517 00:21:47,710 --> 00:21:49,479 - and it's coming right at you! - Goo, goo, gah, gah. 518 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,520 Dear God. No! You can't be real! 519 00:21:52,540 --> 00:21:55,150 Explorer, what is it? What the hell do you see? 520 00:21:55,170 --> 00:21:56,542 My conscience. 521 00:21:56,550 --> 00:21:58,460 - Explorer! Explorer! - Aaah! 522 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,500 - Are you there? - Aaaaaah! 523 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,040 - Geez. Not gonna miss that guy. - Aaaaah! 524 00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:04,750 Right? So dramatic. 525 00:22:06,230 --> 00:22:07,920 Did you get any of that?