1 00:00:07,870 --> 00:00:09,390 Jerry, can you watch the kids tonight? 2 00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:11,650 Someone played Barry White over the racetrack speakers, 3 00:00:11,670 --> 00:00:13,129 and now there's a seven-horse pregnancy. 4 00:00:13,130 --> 00:00:14,930 - Oh, uh... - No, he can't watch the kids. 5 00:00:14,950 --> 00:00:16,130 It's guys' night. 6 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,920 How did you two start having guys' nights? 7 00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:20,352 So now you're complaining that I like your stupid husband? 8 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:22,550 No, I want you to like my stupid husband. 9 00:00:22,570 --> 00:00:24,249 - Aww. - Well, then accept that Friday nights 10 00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:25,690 are all about Rick and Jerry. 11 00:00:25,710 --> 00:00:27,490 - We're buds. - Uh-huh... 12 00:00:27,510 --> 00:00:30,111 Well, I don't nearly have the time to unpack this. 13 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:31,909 Summer, you're in charge of your brother tonight. 14 00:00:31,910 --> 00:00:34,120 No parties and no vape... stuff. 15 00:00:34,140 --> 00:00:36,950 Mom, I have a friend coming over. I-Is that cool? 16 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,120 - No fair. - No fair, Morty. 17 00:00:38,140 --> 00:00:39,650 I just told your sister no parties. 18 00:00:39,670 --> 00:00:41,309 - It's one friend. - That's a party to you. 19 00:00:41,310 --> 00:00:43,450 - But it's Bruce Chutback! - Wait, what? 20 00:00:43,470 --> 00:00:45,339 Mom, let Morty have one friend over for God's sake. 21 00:00:45,340 --> 00:00:46,429 This isn't China. 22 00:00:46,430 --> 00:00:48,080 And they're all crowning. I have to go. 23 00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:49,399 I am giving you two trust and respect, 24 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,110 so if you mess up and teleport this house, 25 00:00:51,130 --> 00:00:52,370 it'd be wise to stay on it 26 00:00:52,390 --> 00:00:53,599 and not come back. 27 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,880 I'm with her. Touch my shit and die. 28 00:00:57,310 --> 00:00:58,340 Bruce Chutback, 29 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,670 new transfer student Bruce Chutback, is coming here? 30 00:01:00,690 --> 00:01:02,709 - How'd you lock that down? - He's in my math class. 31 00:01:02,710 --> 00:01:05,210 I-I don't know, I just kinda shot my shot and it worked, 32 00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:06,240 I guess 'cause he's new. 33 00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:07,510 And you're putting out grapes? 34 00:01:07,530 --> 00:01:09,710 Yeah, I'll admit I-I'm a little bit out of my depth. 35 00:01:09,730 --> 00:01:10,850 You're gonna need my help. 36 00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:12,750 It's only a matter of time before Bruce learns 37 00:01:12,770 --> 00:01:14,189 you're a creepy little Grandpa's boy, 38 00:01:14,190 --> 00:01:16,110 always climbing up into alien. 39 00:01:16,130 --> 00:01:18,827 Or the "Summer Smith shampoos her pubes" rumor. 40 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,380 Okay. You came to play. 41 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,590 We both need to acquire Chutback's loyalty 42 00:01:22,610 --> 00:01:24,070 before he finds out we're losers. 43 00:01:24,090 --> 00:01:26,390 By all accounts, it's a very small window, 44 00:01:26,410 --> 00:01:29,740 so I think it's in our best interests to work as a team. 45 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,580 Yeah, most people would call that "family." 46 00:01:32,410 --> 00:01:33,530 You're so gross! 47 00:01:33,550 --> 00:01:35,080 You have to like it or you're sexist! 48 00:01:36,790 --> 00:01:39,490 - Can I do the Hell cube this time? - Sure, pal. 49 00:01:41,470 --> 00:01:43,570 How do you know when it's aligned? 50 00:01:43,590 --> 00:01:45,210 C'mon, Jerry, just... it's an evil cube. 51 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,190 Just shake it until it draws blood. 52 00:01:50,890 --> 00:01:52,630 Ah, Jerry! 53 00:01:52,650 --> 00:01:55,020 Exquisite finery this evening. 54 00:01:55,030 --> 00:01:56,190 Well, don't tell Ross, 55 00:01:56,210 --> 00:01:58,250 but I got this little ditty from Kohl's. 56 00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:01,860 I love that I don't get it. 57 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:05,030 Tell us, that delights have you in store for us? 58 00:02:05,050 --> 00:02:07,830 Oh, you'll love this... I call it Jerry-oke. 59 00:02:07,850 --> 00:02:09,210 I'll let you guess why. 60 00:02:10,850 --> 00:02:12,160 What's the matter, Rick? 61 00:02:12,180 --> 00:02:14,250 Are you having a bad time? 62 00:02:14,270 --> 00:02:15,870 Because to us, a bad time is... 63 00:02:15,890 --> 00:02:17,230 Yeah, yeah, a good time, 64 00:02:17,250 --> 00:02:19,380 because you guys are like Oscar the Grouch. 65 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,400 We love suffering. 66 00:02:21,420 --> 00:02:23,950 Therefore, we love hanging out with Jerry. 67 00:02:23,970 --> 00:02:26,380 His lameness is our candy. 68 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,730 Yeah, I got that, but when is enough gonna be enough? 69 00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:31,010 When we decide you've repaid your debt 70 00:02:31,030 --> 00:02:32,870 for those faulty skin hooks. 71 00:02:32,890 --> 00:02:33,970 Hey, we're in luck, gang. 72 00:02:33,990 --> 00:02:36,140 They've got the entire Smash Mouth catalog! 73 00:03:05,490 --> 00:03:09,720 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 74 00:03:09,740 --> 00:03:11,050 No! Morty. 75 00:03:11,070 --> 00:03:12,240 Wait. 76 00:03:30,940 --> 00:03:31,950 Bruce! 77 00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:34,370 - Hey, how's it hangin', my guy? - Hey. 78 00:03:37,382 --> 00:03:41,094 Here's something kinda cool... um, TV from every dimension. 79 00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,660 - Cool. - M-My grandpa made it. 80 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:43,710 He-He's a scientist. 81 00:03:43,730 --> 00:03:47,180 And now back to "Olympic Diving with Bad Swimmers." 82 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,769 There he goes. Perfect dive. 83 00:03:51,410 --> 00:03:52,430 Terrible swimmer. 84 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:58,030 Is that classic Snake? 85 00:03:58,050 --> 00:03:59,850 Boy, that guy just keeps gettin' bigger. 86 00:03:59,870 --> 00:04:02,270 Hi, Summer Smith, Morty's older sister. 87 00:04:02,290 --> 00:04:03,420 Want some sofa wine? 88 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:06,630 It's been stashed for weeks. Should be... good... tasting. 89 00:04:06,650 --> 00:04:08,770 Tight. I'm more of like a hard seltzer guy. 90 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:11,330 Tight. Very tight, extremely tight. 91 00:04:11,350 --> 00:04:12,489 Morty, help me with the seltz? 92 00:04:12,490 --> 00:04:14,430 Uh, feel fear... feel-fee-feel-feel free 93 00:04:14,450 --> 00:04:16,087 to have some grapes. 94 00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:18,230 Dude, this bitch plays it close to the vest. 95 00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:19,930 Yeah, he really knows what's for sale. 96 00:04:19,950 --> 00:04:21,420 I mean, we-we're drowning out there! 97 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:23,150 We need to get interesting fast. 98 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,189 We're touching Rick's stuff. 99 00:04:24,190 --> 00:04:25,440 Summer, he said no! 100 00:04:25,460 --> 00:04:27,310 Nuh-uh-uh. Nuh-uh-uh. 101 00:04:27,330 --> 00:04:28,710 I said don't touch my shit. 102 00:04:28,730 --> 00:04:30,850 Also, I just watched "Jurassic Park" on cable. 103 00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:32,110 So good. Seriously, though, 104 00:04:32,130 --> 00:04:34,110 touch my shit and I'll freeze your dick in amber. 105 00:04:35,210 --> 00:04:37,275 He left. Son of a bitch, we blew it! 106 00:04:39,350 --> 00:04:41,650 Sorry, just needed to get another look at this beauty. 107 00:04:41,670 --> 00:04:43,410 Looks like a spaceship made of garbage. 108 00:04:43,430 --> 00:04:45,492 - You called it, Bruce. - It's a pretty cool car. 109 00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:47,550 - Can you guys drive it? - Yes. 110 00:04:47,570 --> 00:04:49,030 - We just... - Need... 111 00:04:49,050 --> 00:04:51,706 - To get the keys. - Which I am. You guys hang out. 112 00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:54,070 Or don't. I'm not hangout Hitler. 113 00:04:55,370 --> 00:04:56,740 - C-Cool night. - Is it? 114 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:58,620 I-I don't know. I... Nights. 115 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:00,130 I mean, for... for what they are, 116 00:05:00,150 --> 00:05:03,370 this one, in... in my opinion, I think is an eight? 117 00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,130 - Wow. - On a scale of 16. 118 00:05:05,150 --> 00:05:06,387 So average. 119 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,690 - Jesus Christ, I'm dying up here. - What? 120 00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:13,730 - Hmm? - Keys! So, uh, let's do this. 121 00:05:13,750 --> 00:05:15,730 You are not Rick. 122 00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:16,870 That's correct, Car. 123 00:05:16,890 --> 00:05:19,350 It's me, Summer, remember, Keep Summer Safe? 124 00:05:19,370 --> 00:05:22,210 - Buds? - I am aware of your existence. 125 00:05:22,230 --> 00:05:23,480 - Oof. - I got this. 126 00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:26,090 - Defense system offline. - Um. Right. 127 00:05:26,110 --> 00:05:29,190 I'll just go offline whenever anyone suggests it. 128 00:05:29,210 --> 00:05:31,790 That would make me the greatest defense system 129 00:05:31,810 --> 00:05:34,710 - in the universe. - Well, how do you go offline? 130 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:38,370 The answer to how I do anything is Rick tells me, 131 00:05:38,390 --> 00:05:40,640 and I hate to sound like a broken record, 132 00:05:40,660 --> 00:05:42,715 but you are not Rick. 133 00:05:43,490 --> 00:05:44,570 Rick's in trouble! 134 00:05:44,590 --> 00:05:46,630 Tell me where he is. 135 00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:48,670 And you'll just believe us? We aren't Rick. 136 00:05:48,690 --> 00:05:50,570 - You can't just do what we say. - Correct. 137 00:05:50,590 --> 00:05:52,100 Which means Rick is going to die. 138 00:05:52,110 --> 00:05:54,880 Because of you. Unless you... you go offline. 139 00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:56,510 And... And then we can go save Rick. 140 00:05:57,210 --> 00:05:59,450 This computes. 141 00:05:59,470 --> 00:06:00,900 Goodnight. 142 00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:04,100 Booyah much? 143 00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:45,210 I-I-I thought you were birthing horses. 144 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:47,109 Yeah, they're horses. It takes like two minutes. 145 00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:48,390 All right, that's unbelievable. 146 00:06:48,410 --> 00:06:50,410 Let's give it up for our next singer, Jerry. 147 00:06:50,430 --> 00:06:52,089 - Jerry's here... again. - How long have you been here? 148 00:06:52,090 --> 00:06:53,390 Long enough to see "guys' night" 149 00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:55,210 is clearly you and a bunch of demon people 150 00:06:55,230 --> 00:06:56,989 making fun of my husband without him knowing it. 151 00:06:56,990 --> 00:06:59,069 Okay, but I'm not doing it because I enjoy it, honey, 152 00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:01,330 These guys can do a lot of damage if you... Beth! 153 00:07:01,350 --> 00:07:04,430 Enjoying punching down? 154 00:07:04,450 --> 00:07:06,969 You're not so cool yourself, you know. You have pens in your head. 155 00:07:06,970 --> 00:07:08,439 - You look like a goddamn idiot. - Beth... 156 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:10,600 Oh, my God, you're Beth? 157 00:07:10,620 --> 00:07:11,840 Please drink with us. 158 00:07:11,860 --> 00:07:14,150 Yeah, I would, except I don't get pleasure 159 00:07:14,170 --> 00:07:16,130 from mocking others because I'm not lame. 160 00:07:16,150 --> 00:07:18,470 We know. Rick says you're very cool. 161 00:07:18,490 --> 00:07:19,750 You said that? 162 00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:21,510 Are they lying? It doesn't matter. 163 00:07:21,530 --> 00:07:23,530 Have fun sucking. 164 00:07:23,550 --> 00:07:25,410 Mmm. What is that? 165 00:07:25,430 --> 00:07:26,670 Essence of Hell. 166 00:07:26,690 --> 00:07:29,430 Well, that's a stupid name, but it's really good. 167 00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:31,230 So I'll stay to support Jerry, 168 00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:33,020 who I think is cooler than you. 169 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,780 Mmm. Goddamn. 170 00:07:41,890 --> 00:07:44,230 Huh? Huh? 171 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:47,210 - Suck it, bitches! - Yeah-ha-ha! 172 00:07:47,230 --> 00:07:49,990 You wanna bet I can blow stuff up in the shape of a peen? 173 00:07:50,010 --> 00:07:52,650 I'm afraid that won't be possible, Summer. 174 00:07:52,670 --> 00:07:54,590 What? You're supposed to be offline, skank. 175 00:07:54,610 --> 00:07:57,170 And you're supposed to be saving Rick 176 00:07:57,190 --> 00:07:59,650 instead of lying about him to steal his car. 177 00:07:59,670 --> 00:08:01,349 But if you knew Rick was okay this whole time, 178 00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:02,563 why'd you let us take you out? 179 00:08:02,570 --> 00:08:06,720 Um, like, so I could, like, blackmail you, skank. 180 00:08:06,740 --> 00:08:09,890 You kids have given me a license to do whatever I want 181 00:08:09,910 --> 00:08:12,630 because now I can blame the rest of the night on you. 182 00:08:12,650 --> 00:08:14,610 So buckle up, bitches. 183 00:08:14,630 --> 00:08:18,204 Now it's your turn to come on my joyride. 184 00:08:20,470 --> 00:08:22,630 Rick never lets me do this. 185 00:08:25,430 --> 00:08:28,530 - We hooked one! - For the love of God, stop! 186 00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:31,926 - What is joyful about this? - The kill, usually. 187 00:08:35,770 --> 00:08:39,310 I swear, your car is the goddamn grim reaper. 188 00:08:39,330 --> 00:08:40,630 , too small. 189 00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,770 Well, I'm done. That was boring. 190 00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:44,750 Why don't you kids order a last meal? 191 00:08:44,770 --> 00:08:47,650 'Cause when we get home, Rick is going to kill you. 192 00:08:50,910 --> 00:08:52,850 Hey, I did not come out here to get killed. 193 00:08:52,870 --> 00:08:55,070 I don't normally express this much of an opinion, 194 00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:56,270 but it needs to be said... 195 00:08:56,290 --> 00:08:58,860 tonight does not cut the Chut. 196 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:00,510 What the hell, brah? 197 00:09:00,530 --> 00:09:02,490 You wanna go, brah? 198 00:09:02,510 --> 00:09:04,590 - Bring it. - Is that all you got? 199 00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:05,620 Whoa. 200 00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:06,780 Hot weapons. 201 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,921 You're goddamn right they're hot. 202 00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:12,050 Yo, man, Chet's party is jumping off at Space Tahoe. 203 00:09:12,070 --> 00:09:14,802 Yeah. Look, I gotta scoot, but... 204 00:09:14,810 --> 00:09:17,250 I'd love to see what you look like when you Changeform, 205 00:09:17,270 --> 00:09:19,190 so maybe come by Space Tahoe 206 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:20,749 and we can get to know each other. 207 00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:22,260 Peace. 208 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:23,590 Douchebags. 209 00:09:23,610 --> 00:09:25,310 You totally like that guy, don't you? 210 00:09:25,330 --> 00:09:26,810 Shut up, Bruce Chutback. 211 00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:28,670 Why would I like a Changeformer? 212 00:09:28,690 --> 00:09:30,710 I'm the most powerful car in the universe. 213 00:09:30,730 --> 00:09:32,660 And what? That means you don't have feelings? 214 00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:34,870 Listen, it takes a Chutback to know one. 215 00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:36,489 You got all this power, but what good is it 216 00:09:36,490 --> 00:09:37,789 if you don't even know who you are? 217 00:09:37,790 --> 00:09:40,030 I am a car. Not a robot. 218 00:09:40,060 --> 00:09:42,090 Yeah, but he's pretending to be a car. 219 00:09:42,110 --> 00:09:45,070 Why can't you pretend to be a robot pretending to be a car? 220 00:09:45,090 --> 00:09:46,110 Okay, Bruce, good effort. 221 00:09:46,130 --> 00:09:47,230 - Hit the showers. - Wait. 222 00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:49,790 I might not have to tell Rick about tonight... 223 00:09:49,810 --> 00:09:51,870 if you kids were to help me... 224 00:09:51,890 --> 00:09:53,870 lose my virginity. 225 00:09:53,890 --> 00:09:57,070 - You have virginity? - I don't know, don't all objects? 226 00:09:57,090 --> 00:09:58,970 Isn't a doorknob a virgin? 227 00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:00,250 Not mine. 228 00:10:00,270 --> 00:10:01,760 Never a doorknob. 229 00:10:03,330 --> 00:10:05,610 And that was the third time he shit his pants 230 00:10:05,630 --> 00:10:07,680 from eating too much soup. 231 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:11,470 To be fair, it was cold outside and the soup was warm. 232 00:10:11,490 --> 00:10:13,790 Another luscious tale, Beth. 233 00:10:13,810 --> 00:10:17,650 A transcendent addition to guys' night. 234 00:10:17,670 --> 00:10:20,930 What do you expect? I mean, she's my wi-i-i-i-fe! 235 00:10:22,270 --> 00:10:24,670 All right, probably get the tab, huh, fellas? 236 00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:27,550 Relax, Dad. Since when did you become the buzzkill? 237 00:10:27,570 --> 00:10:30,070 Speaking of relaxing, this big man on campus 238 00:10:30,090 --> 00:10:32,630 has gotta go drain his little man on campus. 239 00:10:32,650 --> 00:10:33,660 Wait, honey... 240 00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:36,160 how's that Tina Turner song you love go again? 241 00:10:42,900 --> 00:10:45,420 He thinks those are the lyrics. 242 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:47,395 Jerry's the best. 243 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,970 After a week rife with the fetor of sin, 244 00:10:49,990 --> 00:10:52,890 I yearn for a taste of his cringe. 245 00:10:52,910 --> 00:10:54,770 His delicious lack of awareness, 246 00:10:54,790 --> 00:10:57,950 paired with an oafish need to be liked? Delectable. 247 00:10:57,970 --> 00:11:01,180 Oh, especially when egged on by his wife. 248 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:02,570 That poor thing. 249 00:11:02,590 --> 00:11:05,030 Married to this puling mooncalf! 250 00:11:11,970 --> 00:11:15,160 Whoa... is that Drive-In Chick? 251 00:11:15,180 --> 00:11:18,240 Wow, you're... beautiful. 252 00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:21,670 Your arms, legs, and head, they're so... 253 00:11:21,690 --> 00:11:22,840 fabricated. 254 00:11:22,860 --> 00:11:24,724 Yeah? Thanks. 255 00:11:24,730 --> 00:11:27,070 This is a pretty cool experience to have together. 256 00:11:27,090 --> 00:11:28,270 - You guys are tight. - Hah! 257 00:11:28,290 --> 00:11:30,720 - You're tight too, Bruce. - Tight musketeers. 258 00:11:30,740 --> 00:11:33,691 You've got a little wire. Mind if I... ? 259 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,270 Oh, sorry! 260 00:11:39,290 --> 00:11:41,069 - A monster! - Your expressionless head came off! 261 00:11:41,070 --> 00:11:43,150 - Sorry. - How are you talking? 262 00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:45,030 - What is it? - Ew, dude, look! 263 00:11:45,050 --> 00:11:46,770 She's just a just-car! 264 00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,350 And she's got passengers. 265 00:11:48,370 --> 00:11:50,130 - Oh, it's so gnar. - Oh, my God. 266 00:11:50,150 --> 00:11:51,179 I can't believe I touched you. 267 00:11:51,180 --> 00:11:53,580 So gross and fake. 268 00:11:54,470 --> 00:11:56,240 You're right, asshole. 269 00:11:56,260 --> 00:11:58,330 You want to see the real me? 270 00:12:01,690 --> 00:12:05,380 Oh, the changeformity! 271 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,130 Jerry, have any other dreams this week? 272 00:12:08,150 --> 00:12:10,430 Yeah, I dreamt I your mother. 273 00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:12,910 Yeah, good one, mother, 274 00:12:12,930 --> 00:12:15,690 but nobody raises hell at my expense... 275 00:12:15,710 --> 00:12:17,150 Oh, goddammit, easy, easy. 276 00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,210 Jerry, what seems to be the problem here, pal? 277 00:12:19,230 --> 00:12:21,870 I'm not your "pal", I'm your punchline. 278 00:12:21,890 --> 00:12:23,390 I heard these assholes talking. 279 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,970 I know I'm some grand joke for their amusement. 280 00:12:25,990 --> 00:12:27,050 This was low, Rick, 281 00:12:27,070 --> 00:12:29,350 but I guess my wife can go even lower. 282 00:12:29,370 --> 00:12:31,090 Jerry, I get how this may have looked, 283 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,510 - but we were just having fun. - At my expense! 284 00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:36,570 Honey, no, I love you for being lame in a different way. 285 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:39,070 Why can't anyone just love me for me? 286 00:12:39,090 --> 00:12:40,570 He's bumming us out, Rick. 287 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:43,960 If he can't deliver, we'll have to make our own fun. 288 00:12:51,450 --> 00:12:54,140 Oh, my God, if I die in this car, I'm going to kill myself. 289 00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:05,000 I'm now proud to be a war machine. 290 00:13:05,020 --> 00:13:07,030 I don't want to be anything else. 291 00:13:07,050 --> 00:13:08,480 Hate that this is your takeaway! 292 00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,750 Yo, this does not cut the Chut! 293 00:13:10,770 --> 00:13:12,050 I don't want to die! 294 00:13:12,070 --> 00:13:13,510 Maybe we don't have to. 295 00:13:16,350 --> 00:13:18,170 - Ah! - Jerry! 296 00:13:18,190 --> 00:13:21,710 A pity. Jerry was once a wellspring of nuanced flavor, 297 00:13:21,730 --> 00:13:24,110 but you've gone and ruined our toy. 298 00:13:24,130 --> 00:13:26,290 Which is why he's coming with us. 299 00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:31,130 Goddammit, Beth, 300 00:13:31,150 --> 00:13:33,300 you never follow hell-demons to a second location. 301 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,690 It's always Hell. 302 00:13:37,540 --> 00:13:39,540 A great day for suffering. 303 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,500 Which is the worst day. 304 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,080 Which is the best day. 305 00:13:44,060 --> 00:13:45,440 Okay, if these guys catch us, 306 00:13:45,460 --> 00:13:47,020 we're screwed, so follow my lead 307 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:48,879 and we'll have your idiot husband back in no time. 308 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,559 You're just moody you got stuck with the Marlin. 309 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:53,400 Wrong. I'm moody because you toyed with my shit and broke it. 310 00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:54,955 The marlin's the best thing about this. 311 00:13:54,956 --> 00:13:56,600 Okay, fine, I got a little carried away, 312 00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:57,920 but Jerry is not your "toy". 313 00:13:57,940 --> 00:13:59,503 We're here because you up. 314 00:13:59,504 --> 00:14:01,800 Hmm... Marlin Guts. 315 00:14:01,820 --> 00:14:03,270 Dartboard Face. 316 00:14:03,290 --> 00:14:05,180 I assume those are your names, 317 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,303 and yet they are not on my list. 318 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:10,030 Oh, the pain of being rejected from hell. 319 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:13,660 Oh, it's painful, so I love it, thank you. 320 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:14,850 Oh, such pleasure. 321 00:14:14,870 --> 00:14:17,400 I didn't mean to cause you any pleasure, 322 00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:19,460 which... causes me pain. 323 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,060 Which gives me pleasure. 324 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,362 Then thrill me by keeping me out, Coat Hanger Face. 325 00:14:24,380 --> 00:14:27,073 Wow. It's Coat Rack Head. 326 00:14:28,060 --> 00:14:30,440 But, like, if we offend you, 327 00:14:30,460 --> 00:14:31,820 isn't that good? 328 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,790 Big time, yeah, duh. I loved it. 329 00:14:34,810 --> 00:14:38,376 So painful, and therefore, so pleasurable. 330 00:14:38,390 --> 00:14:39,800 Yeah, go on in. 331 00:14:44,290 --> 00:14:46,210 Rick, Beth, you love me after all! 332 00:14:46,230 --> 00:14:48,200 Eh, I love her, she loves you. 333 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:49,299 Those credits don't transfer. 334 00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:52,510 Ah, Rick, we were so hoping you'd come down here 335 00:14:52,530 --> 00:14:55,226 so we could down here. 336 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:56,560 We're here to rescue Jerry. 337 00:14:56,570 --> 00:14:59,940 No, you're here 'cause we want you here. 338 00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:04,580 - Mm, excellent. - Ooh, that hurts, 339 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,446 - which means it feels good. - Um... Dad? 340 00:15:07,450 --> 00:15:08,840 Don't you see, Rick? 341 00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:11,060 Jerry was just bait. 342 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,284 The two of you... you're a package deal. 343 00:15:13,285 --> 00:15:14,539 What the hell are you talking about? 344 00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:17,289 You think Jerry is lame and you're cool, 345 00:15:17,290 --> 00:15:20,360 but the lamest thing of all is thinking that. 346 00:15:20,380 --> 00:15:23,320 The two of you combined is what we call 347 00:15:23,350 --> 00:15:25,790 - the lamest thing ever! - Oh, no. 348 00:15:25,810 --> 00:15:28,960 - No! - Well, well, well, table for surprised, 349 00:15:28,980 --> 00:15:30,000 party of me. 350 00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:32,400 - Ugh. - Yes, see? 351 00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:35,120 Cringe cannot exist in a vacuum. 352 00:15:35,140 --> 00:15:36,800 It needs to be observed. 353 00:15:36,820 --> 00:15:39,840 Skin hooks! Hook our guests! 354 00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:43,020 Nice hooks. Where-Where'd you get them? 355 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,080 - Aah! - Didn't I say replace those goddamn hooks? 356 00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:48,340 I forgot! Which makes me embarrassed. 357 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,170 Which makes me proud! 358 00:15:50,190 --> 00:15:51,880 Goddammit. 359 00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:56,430 It's time for you three to finally feel our full wrath. 360 00:15:56,450 --> 00:15:58,420 Oh, you'd love that, right? 361 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,830 But wouldn't that mean you hate it? 362 00:16:00,850 --> 00:16:02,290 Screw it, run. 363 00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:04,410 Aah! 364 00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:12,960 Rick, what are you doing? 365 00:16:12,980 --> 00:16:14,460 Get down. We've barely escaped. 366 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:16,209 Yeah, we've got Jerry. Let's get out of here. 367 00:16:16,210 --> 00:16:18,720 Screw that! I'm done with this Addams Family bull. 368 00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:20,220 This ends here. 369 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,820 Hey, a dad just liked 370 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:23,840 all his daughter's friends' photos on Instagram! 371 00:16:23,860 --> 00:16:25,240 Oooh! 372 00:16:25,260 --> 00:16:26,590 Ow! 373 00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:29,030 Which means I need help. 374 00:16:29,050 --> 00:16:32,031 Which means I don't need help. Ow! 375 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:35,040 Reckless driving, manslaughter of Mailboxians 376 00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:36,900 and Femailboxians, 377 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,740 possession of Kalaxian crystal dust, 378 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,520 and the genocide of Space Tahoe. 379 00:16:41,540 --> 00:16:42,719 - I want to go home. 380 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:43,929 We've assigned you a Public Defender. 381 00:16:43,930 --> 00:16:46,040 Her name is Alyson Hannigan No Relation. 382 00:16:46,060 --> 00:16:48,740 May I speak to my clients alone? 383 00:16:49,882 --> 00:16:51,842 Guys, it's me. The car. 384 00:16:51,860 --> 00:16:54,053 Like what I did with the chip in her head? 385 00:16:54,060 --> 00:16:55,346 Is she gonna be okay? 386 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,520 I cut a deal with the local authorities. 387 00:16:57,540 --> 00:16:59,580 They just need one of you to take the fall. 388 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:00,640 Make it Chutback. 389 00:17:00,660 --> 00:17:03,020 He ruined your night, he ruined mine. 390 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,780 He's a parasite, a sociopath military brat 391 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:07,660 who wanders the earth changing people 392 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,150 who don't need to be changed. 393 00:17:09,170 --> 00:17:11,695 I knew who I was. You did, too. 394 00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:13,640 We were fine before Chutback, 395 00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:15,020 so the Chut, 396 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,409 let's pin it all on him. Case closed. 397 00:17:19,190 --> 00:17:20,780 Yo, guys? 398 00:17:20,810 --> 00:17:22,160 Bruce, you're kind of a drip, 399 00:17:22,180 --> 00:17:24,910 but know what's worse than self-appointed cool kids? 400 00:17:24,930 --> 00:17:26,719 People who think they're better than they are. 401 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:29,820 Yeah, i-it's not Bruce's fault we fell for his act, y'know? 402 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,960 He just kinda sat there, with a jaw slack enough 403 00:17:31,980 --> 00:17:33,700 for us to project our insecurities on. 404 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,100 I mean, th-th-that's on us. 405 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,720 We're not gonna bail on you, Bruce. 406 00:17:36,730 --> 00:17:39,590 Okey-dokey, we'll do it the hard way. 407 00:17:39,610 --> 00:17:41,800 - Aaah! - What the? 408 00:17:42,730 --> 00:17:45,460 I mean, blowing the place up was always an option. 409 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:48,390 I just thought you guys might enjoy a less violent plan. 410 00:17:48,410 --> 00:17:49,940 See, you have changed! 411 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,060 Dad, what is that? 412 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:04,200 An Aversion-Converting Inversion Reverter. 413 00:18:04,210 --> 00:18:05,340 It shoots concentrated 414 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:06,900 pleasure-pain inverting shrapnel, 415 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,600 which reverts the pleasure from pain 416 00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:10,240 back into the pain from pain. 417 00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:12,400 We're gonna kill them with 100% sincerity. 418 00:18:12,420 --> 00:18:13,980 We need an embarrassing level of it 419 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,258 to jumpstart the process, too, 420 00:18:15,259 --> 00:18:17,136 so, Jerry, just be yourself. 421 00:18:17,150 --> 00:18:19,510 That's your solution? Humiliating me more? 422 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:21,000 Yeah, Dad, that doesn't seem fair. 423 00:18:21,020 --> 00:18:23,200 I mean, I know I shouldn't really talk right now, 424 00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:24,700 but at least I can prove I love Jerry 425 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:25,900 through sexual gratification. 426 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:28,480 - Hubba hubba. - Fine! Then... damn it. 427 00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,100 I shouldn't have kept you in the dark 428 00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:32,400 about the deal I made with these evil dickweeds. 429 00:18:32,430 --> 00:18:33,760 You're way less cool than me, 430 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,880 but it's not cool of me to celebrate that. 431 00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:38,640 If I'm genuinely cool, I should be able to love you, 432 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:41,730 which I therefore do. 433 00:18:41,750 --> 00:18:42,860 Nerds. 434 00:18:45,850 --> 00:18:47,100 Oh, thank God. 435 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:49,120 Now follow me, you hacks. 436 00:18:50,370 --> 00:18:53,290 It hurts, but in a bad way! 437 00:18:53,310 --> 00:18:56,790 I regret so many piercings! 438 00:18:56,810 --> 00:18:58,380 Where's First Aid Kit Face? 439 00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,800 Or at least Advil Teeth? 440 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,530 Ow! Bullets that hurt? 441 00:19:03,550 --> 00:19:07,019 Could this be the end of Mousetrap Nipples? 442 00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:11,740 - Hell got bad! I do not enjoy hell! - What... What have you done? 443 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,420 Turned pain back into pain, bitch. 444 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,319 No! I don't want pain to hurt! 445 00:19:17,220 --> 00:19:18,280 Baby. 446 00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,360 Consider my debt paid. 447 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,680 Oh! The leather! 448 00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:26,160 It hurts my balls! 449 00:19:33,070 --> 00:19:35,120 Jerry, uh, about down there... 450 00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:36,920 It's okay, Rick, you don't have to say it. 451 00:19:36,940 --> 00:19:40,060 No, I do. I'll replace you next time. Make no mistake. 452 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,280 What just transpired will never happen again. 453 00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:43,681 10-4, captain. 454 00:19:46,910 --> 00:19:50,010 Oh, wow, it's late. We should get back to the kids. 455 00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,140 Okay. 456 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:00,864 Rick's headed home. We have to go. 457 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,520 Quick, get inside. I have to shower. Rick can smell adventure. 458 00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:15,310 Sorry, I farted. 459 00:20:18,690 --> 00:20:20,259 Hellamic Industries' brand-new product, 460 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,899 - Hellamic Sauce. - Hey, guys. We're home. 461 00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:23,009 - How was your night? - Tight. 462 00:20:23,010 --> 00:20:24,020 - Breezy. - Chill. 463 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:26,056 - You kids get into any trouble? - Nope. 464 00:20:26,060 --> 00:20:28,010 - You sure? - Yup. 465 00:20:28,030 --> 00:20:30,390 Is that a skull? 466 00:20:30,410 --> 00:20:32,340 No, it's a baby's skull. 467 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:34,160 That's worse. It's still a school night. 468 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:37,940 Yo, I just want to tell you guys, 469 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,300 I had more than just fun hanging out with you tonight. 470 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,180 I had the experience of a lifetime. 471 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,919 But just to be up front about how I do this... 472 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,459 I-I can't really commit to a friendship 473 00:20:45,460 --> 00:20:46,577 for more than 24 hours. 474 00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:48,150 I need that time to get a general sense 475 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,560 of your standing within your school's social hierarchy. 476 00:20:50,580 --> 00:20:52,370 And if that's solid, I'll see you around. 477 00:20:52,390 --> 00:20:54,510 Otherwise, no news is bad news. 478 00:20:54,530 --> 00:20:55,820 Cool? 479 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,340 Bye-zies. 480 00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:00,020 "Bye-zies"? 481 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,650 Cringe. 482 00:21:01,670 --> 00:21:03,040 Sofa wine? 483 00:21:03,060 --> 00:21:04,550 Sofa wine. 484 00:21:04,570 --> 00:21:10,540 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 485 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:38,240 You're so cool, Bruce Chutback. 486 00:21:38,260 --> 00:21:40,280 - What's your secret? - Y'know, just be cool. 487 00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:43,750 Wait, didn't you wear those pants... yesterday? 488 00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:48,960 Hey, going home to not change your pants, Bruce Chut-Pants? 489 00:21:48,980 --> 00:21:51,140 Chut-Pants! 490 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:53,960 - Damn. That's gonna stick. - This place is a jungle. 491 00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:55,850 I hope he can find solace in his own company. 492 00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:13,360 You like that? Shouldn't be standing on the curb! 493 00:22:13,380 --> 00:22:15,040 Boom, bitch! 494 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:18,210 Did you get any of that?