1 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,420 Goodbye, Mr. Cookie President. 2 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,130 Ugh! 3 00:00:27,530 --> 00:00:28,842 Oh, thank you, Morty. 4 00:00:28,860 --> 00:00:31,030 You know, this cookie really crumbled after Rick left. 5 00:00:31,050 --> 00:00:33,305 Uh, sorry about that. I-I-I think he was just hungry. 6 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:34,330 Look, I gotta run. 7 00:00:34,350 --> 00:00:35,549 I-I'm sure you guys'll figure it out. 8 00:00:35,550 --> 00:00:36,850 I-I believe in you! 9 00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:42,630 Morty! Can you help us with this UFO-shaped hole? 10 00:00:42,650 --> 00:00:45,239 Sure, geez, but, y'know, only because I was in the neighborhood. 11 00:00:49,730 --> 00:00:51,630 Morty, thank God! 12 00:00:51,650 --> 00:00:54,201 The beast emerged right after your grandpa left 13 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,050 and its gem went missing... 14 00:00:56,070 --> 00:00:58,110 Geez, that is a crazy coincidence 15 00:00:58,130 --> 00:01:01,050 that I-I if I were you, probably just best left alone. 16 00:01:01,070 --> 00:01:03,170 He's right. We-We should celebrate. 17 00:01:03,190 --> 00:01:04,290 - Feast? - No time. 18 00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:05,545 S-S-Sounds pretty classic though, 19 00:01:05,546 --> 00:01:07,089 don't let me hold you up! 20 00:01:11,060 --> 00:01:13,428 Son of a bitch. He marked it. 21 00:01:30,420 --> 00:01:31,988 - Ah! 22 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,370 Phew. 23 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:37,270 Hah. 24 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:40,950 What the... 25 00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:47,629 - Hey, what the hell? - Agh! Jesus! 26 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,369 You got some of that green stuff on you too, huh? 27 00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,170 Th-Th-This is bad. Th-This is really bad. 28 00:01:51,190 --> 00:01:52,259 Hey, how do you think I feel? 29 00:01:52,260 --> 00:01:55,310 I had the ultimate stash hole and now I got a kid in my thigh. 30 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:27,880 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 31 00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:30,130 Look, you seem like a perfectly nice guy in my hand hole, 32 00:02:30,140 --> 00:02:32,390 but if I can't sort this out, I'm dead... 33 00:02:33,770 --> 00:02:35,130 What the hell, dude? Gross. 34 00:02:35,150 --> 00:02:37,329 - I-I-I was just trying to... - You're just trying to what? 35 00:02:37,330 --> 00:02:38,790 Where'd this stuff come from? 36 00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:41,040 Garbage Goober, get out here and eat this garbage. 37 00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:44,420 Mmm, trash, I love trash, yum yum trash, 38 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,509 - I wanna eat trash... - Hell yeah, I love that lil guy. 39 00:02:46,510 --> 00:02:47,970 Wait a minute. 40 00:02:47,990 --> 00:02:50,640 Is that Mountain Dew in my quantum transport solution? 41 00:02:50,660 --> 00:02:51,949 I-I saw you were marking the levels 42 00:02:51,950 --> 00:02:54,170 - so I-I had to top it off. - "Top it off?" 43 00:02:54,190 --> 00:02:56,250 Do you know how dangerously toxic this stuff is? 44 00:02:56,270 --> 00:02:58,070 And you added it to my portal fluid? 45 00:02:58,090 --> 00:02:59,650 Only because you don't trust me! 46 00:02:59,670 --> 00:03:00,980 Oh, that's great logic, Morty... 47 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,250 forgive me for not doing the kissy chef gesture 48 00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:04,989 since you probably spilled this everywhere 49 00:03:04,990 --> 00:03:06,189 and I don't want to teleport my lips. 50 00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:07,590 I did I did not spill it! 51 00:03:07,610 --> 00:03:09,569 I won't take your word for that and I shouldn't have to, 52 00:03:09,570 --> 00:03:11,190 which is why I have sidekick rules. 53 00:03:11,210 --> 00:03:12,590 If you can't follow them... 54 00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:14,910 I can be replaced, yeah, yeah, so you keep telling me. 55 00:03:14,930 --> 00:03:17,470 Excuse me? Did you just try to call my bluff? 56 00:03:17,490 --> 00:03:18,750 Have you ever seen me bluff? 57 00:03:18,770 --> 00:03:20,150 Fine. You know what, replace me! 58 00:03:20,170 --> 00:03:21,730 Replace me, Rick! Just do it. 59 00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:23,989 Good luck finding someone that can be told 80 thousand times 60 00:03:23,990 --> 00:03:25,018 how replaceable they are! 61 00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:27,290 Okay. I'll see your bluff call and raise you reality. 62 00:03:27,310 --> 00:03:29,630 I can't pretend I haven't been looking forward to this. 63 00:03:29,650 --> 00:03:32,234 Behold my Wheel of Better Things Than Morty. 64 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,710 Wh-What are you eight? I-Is this macaroni art? 65 00:03:34,730 --> 00:03:36,009 You expect me to believe you built this 66 00:03:36,010 --> 00:03:37,113 because you don't care? 67 00:03:37,114 --> 00:03:39,350 No, I built this because I don't expect shit from you. 68 00:03:39,370 --> 00:03:40,390 Come on, anything! 69 00:03:40,410 --> 00:03:43,210 Anything but Morty, let's go! Come on baby, no whammies! 70 00:03:43,230 --> 00:03:45,580 Duh-duh-duh-duh stop! Okay, that's it. 71 00:03:45,590 --> 00:03:47,629 - Two crows. You're fired! - You know what? Eat. 72 00:03:47,630 --> 00:03:48,889 You're just trying to make me feel worthless. 73 00:03:48,890 --> 00:03:50,009 I never said you're worthless. 74 00:03:50,010 --> 00:03:52,089 In fact, I've given you a very clear metric of your worth: 75 00:03:52,090 --> 00:03:53,380 Two crows. 76 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,090 Note I didn't say three! 77 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:58,080 Man, that is not a healthy relationship. 78 00:03:58,100 --> 00:03:59,910 I hope you don't mind me eavesdropping. 79 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:03,050 Maybe we can figure out some sort of sound-proof bandage solution. 80 00:04:03,070 --> 00:04:05,392 Hey, did Garbage Goober eat my porno magazines? 81 00:04:05,410 --> 00:04:07,130 So, were you like, a friend of Rick's? 82 00:04:07,150 --> 00:04:09,210 - Were you? - Good question. 83 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,170 W-What's he doing, i-is he out there making sure 84 00:04:11,190 --> 00:04:13,320 you see him collecting two crows? 85 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,680 And now you're thinking, gee, 86 00:04:14,700 --> 00:04:16,890 maybe if he cares enough to hurt me this bad... 87 00:04:16,910 --> 00:04:18,270 dot dot dot. 88 00:04:18,970 --> 00:04:20,270 Break the cycle, Morty. 89 00:04:20,290 --> 00:04:22,410 Change the things that you can change. 90 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,910 That's what I did. And now I'm free. 91 00:04:27,450 --> 00:04:29,550 Only cramming six years into six minutes, fellas. 92 00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:30,770 Take your time! 93 00:04:34,030 --> 00:04:35,520 Now that's what I'm talking about! 94 00:04:35,540 --> 00:04:37,590 If ya nail this next one, I've got bird quaaludes. 95 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:38,790 And I might even share. 96 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,890 Y-You know you can stop doing that for my benefit. 97 00:04:40,910 --> 00:04:43,110 Y'know, or-or keep doing it. Doesn't matter. I'm out. 98 00:04:43,130 --> 00:04:45,473 - I'm walking away. - Wait. Morty. Don't go. 99 00:04:45,490 --> 00:04:47,058 Not until you see this! 100 00:04:47,060 --> 00:04:49,450 Commence bird on a wire! 101 00:04:53,300 --> 00:04:54,840 Yeeeeaaaahhhhh! 102 00:04:54,860 --> 00:04:57,150 Jerk. 103 00:04:58,790 --> 00:05:00,020 Hey, let's hang out. 104 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,050 We're like brothers now, 105 00:05:01,070 --> 00:05:02,980 we both got away, y'know, w-where are you at? 106 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,810 Ooh, you know what, shoot, can't. 107 00:05:04,830 --> 00:05:06,661 I'm an alien, um, so... 108 00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:08,589 That's okay, Rick turned my bike into a spaceship 109 00:05:08,590 --> 00:05:11,730 for "solo adventures" like picking up his Venusian foot ointment. 110 00:05:11,750 --> 00:05:13,640 God, I'm seeing it so clearly now. 111 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,120 Oh. Wait. I-It says here you're on Earth. 112 00:05:20,140 --> 00:05:21,790 Yeah. Ah. Don't come here. 113 00:05:21,810 --> 00:05:24,390 Why not? Look, I-I get it, my room is sometimes messy too, 114 00:05:24,410 --> 00:05:26,960 I'll-I'll pick you up right outside your... 115 00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:29,351 - ... mental asylum. - Busted. 116 00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:31,186 You literally said "I'm free." 117 00:05:31,190 --> 00:05:32,410 I'm literally not free. 118 00:05:33,860 --> 00:05:36,490 Stop! That's my blanket! 119 00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:37,567 How do you know Rick? 120 00:05:37,580 --> 00:05:39,370 Look, I came to your place with him one night 121 00:05:39,390 --> 00:05:40,530 after the bar closed. 122 00:05:40,550 --> 00:05:42,410 I started messing around in your garage 123 00:05:42,430 --> 00:05:44,670 and I spilled that portal stuff on me 124 00:05:44,690 --> 00:05:47,290 and he... kind of launched me to Australia... 125 00:05:47,310 --> 00:05:49,770 like with this weirdly primitive catapult, but... 126 00:05:49,790 --> 00:05:51,950 But the ammunition is an airtight carbon chamber, 127 00:05:51,970 --> 00:05:54,110 yeah, that-that... that's how we lost our cable guy. 128 00:05:54,130 --> 00:05:56,210 Anyways, that kind of experience shakes you up. 129 00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:58,922 So, sorry I misled you, have a nice life. 130 00:06:00,180 --> 00:06:02,092 Nick. You got a visitor. 131 00:06:09,210 --> 00:06:10,540 Damn, what happened to you? 132 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,130 The guards like to beat us on Sundays. 133 00:06:13,150 --> 00:06:15,550 - Still better than Mondays. - Geez, what happens then? 134 00:06:15,570 --> 00:06:17,350 They lick our faces when we're tied down. 135 00:06:17,370 --> 00:06:19,010 - Plus it's meat loaf day. - Well... 136 00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:21,060 - you're leaving now, buddy. - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 137 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,699 I-I swiped 'em off the guard on my way in. 138 00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:26,100 I-I mean, sure, yeah, I could undo my lock, but then what? 139 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,150 After the smartest guy in the world's done with ya, 140 00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:29,709 it's kinda hard to find a footing again. 141 00:06:29,710 --> 00:06:31,069 That's why I need to get you out of here. 142 00:06:31,070 --> 00:06:32,710 We're not the problem, he is. 143 00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:35,570 And if you can have a fresh start, then maybe I can too. 144 00:06:37,410 --> 00:06:38,749 It's not like it's a prison break. 145 00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:40,049 We're just leaving, like, a hospital 146 00:06:40,050 --> 00:06:41,730 that wants to help you extra bad. 147 00:06:41,750 --> 00:06:42,850 Follow me! 148 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:47,721 Hey, get back here, you better open this door! 149 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,710 - I can fly! - Keep running, Nick. 150 00:06:52,730 --> 00:06:54,920 The more you sweat, the saltier your cheeks. 151 00:06:54,940 --> 00:06:56,840 - Lick this! - Thanks, Morty. 152 00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,356 That dude's got a tongue like a cat. 153 00:07:00,460 --> 00:07:01,890 Stop those Portal Boys! 154 00:07:01,910 --> 00:07:04,560 Did you hear that? That's gonna stick! 155 00:07:04,580 --> 00:07:07,060 Damn. Just like Jackie Chan! 156 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,440 Hah! I guess that makes me Chris Tucker. 157 00:07:09,460 --> 00:07:10,550 I-I guess? 158 00:07:13,540 --> 00:07:14,998 Gonna get you! 159 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:25,070 Holy! Did you see that? 160 00:07:25,090 --> 00:07:26,509 I mean, you blinded a guy with puke! 161 00:07:26,510 --> 00:07:27,640 Oh, it was insane. 162 00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:29,730 - Gimme dap. - Am I doing it right? 163 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:30,950 D-D-Did I give you a dap yet? 164 00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:32,190 Look at us. We got out. 165 00:07:32,210 --> 00:07:34,470 And not just from the asylum but from Rick. 166 00:07:34,490 --> 00:07:36,850 You get to say what an adventure is now. 167 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,919 - You still got that list? - Dude, we can't do that stuff 168 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:39,939 without Rick's tech. 169 00:07:39,940 --> 00:07:43,610 Then it's time the Portal Boys get themselves a portal gun. 170 00:07:44,990 --> 00:07:46,349 Remember your training, crows. 171 00:07:46,350 --> 00:07:47,870 The idol should be around that corner! 172 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,969 Do you guys just follow training when you feel like it? 173 00:07:56,970 --> 00:07:59,110 That's not being trained, that's being dicks. 174 00:08:00,650 --> 00:08:02,128 Ah, now I see. 175 00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:03,650 The real treasure is empathy. 176 00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:05,650 And that's worth way more than any knick-knack. 177 00:08:05,670 --> 00:08:08,343 You guys just earned yourselves another adventure! 178 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,030 The adventure is, you're fired. 179 00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:13,050 Sorry, guys, if I wanted another bleeding heart, 180 00:08:13,070 --> 00:08:16,230 I'd inject reanimator serum into an actual bleeding heart. 181 00:08:16,250 --> 00:08:17,930 Relax, this is an avian planet 182 00:08:17,950 --> 00:08:19,550 with 40 million species of bird, 183 00:08:19,580 --> 00:08:20,990 even one day of working under me 184 00:08:21,010 --> 00:08:22,990 will make you apex geniuses down there. 185 00:08:23,010 --> 00:08:24,529 Now hop into these pneumatic canisters 186 00:08:24,530 --> 00:08:26,630 they used to use at bank drive-thrus in the '70s. 187 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,230 What the... Hey! Who's tractor beaming me? 188 00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:40,230 - Nobody tractor beams me... 189 00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:43,070 Nobody descrambles my tractor beam scrambler to boot. 190 00:08:46,590 --> 00:08:48,390 Sorry for the tractor beaming, 191 00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:50,550 but did you lose these two crows? 192 00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:52,710 Oh, uh, yeah, no, I-I dropped 'em off 193 00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:54,510 'cause I-I can't hold a candle to them. 194 00:08:54,530 --> 00:08:56,830 Y'know, it s-seemed like a... the decent thing to do. 195 00:08:56,850 --> 00:08:59,290 Be your crows. Train yourself. 196 00:08:59,310 --> 00:09:00,890 Crows are then trained. 197 00:09:00,910 --> 00:09:02,209 I'm open to what you're describing 198 00:09:02,210 --> 00:09:05,230 if it's easier than wiping an unearned smirk off my grandson's face. 199 00:09:05,250 --> 00:09:07,510 - W-What do I do? - Look at your crows. 200 00:09:07,530 --> 00:09:09,070 Be your crows. 201 00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,470 God I am so glad I'm a primate. 202 00:09:10,490 --> 00:09:12,615 Fine. Looking at my crows. 203 00:09:13,190 --> 00:09:15,450 We train ourselves to stop training. 204 00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:18,955 The trained are untrained, we are untrained. 205 00:09:18,970 --> 00:09:21,300 All training is complete. 206 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,418 Because no training was needed. 207 00:09:38,570 --> 00:09:40,690 My God. I-I get it, now. 208 00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:43,590 We are gonna shove this crow shit down Morty's throat! 209 00:09:44,410 --> 00:09:46,130 Nick, m-maybe this isn't a good idea. 210 00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:47,330 L-Like what if he catches us? 211 00:09:47,350 --> 00:09:48,800 He could trap me in a Matrix again. 212 00:09:48,810 --> 00:09:49,920 Listen to yourself. 213 00:09:49,940 --> 00:09:51,730 We wouldn't even be in this situation 214 00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:53,730 if the dude hadn't us both over. 215 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,320 Damn it. He must be showing the gun off 216 00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:58,290 to his stupid crows... i-it's not fair! 217 00:09:58,310 --> 00:10:01,110 It's okay, we can still liberate all this other stuff. 218 00:10:01,130 --> 00:10:03,230 Let's only grab what we need, though. 219 00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:05,126 Oh, no. . That's Rick's can crusher! 220 00:10:05,130 --> 00:10:06,679 H-He spent three weeks perfecting that. 221 00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:09,590 Morty, buddy, you forget that we're in this together. 222 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:12,410 Besides, tell me that didn't feel the slightest bit good. 223 00:10:12,430 --> 00:10:14,910 I mean, yeah, but w-we can't do that again. 224 00:10:14,930 --> 00:10:16,300 Why the hell not? 225 00:10:19,530 --> 00:10:21,030 Whoa! 226 00:10:21,050 --> 00:10:22,590 Haha! 227 00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:24,990 - Haha! - Here we go, bitch! 228 00:10:25,010 --> 00:10:27,356 Son, have you fallen in with a weird stranger 229 00:10:27,357 --> 00:10:30,318 and are now trashing your grandpa's place? 230 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:31,450 'Cause I'll help! 231 00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:35,350 Dad? Psh, whatever, man. 232 00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:37,730 - Ah. Yeah! - Yeah! Now eat my ass, Rick! 233 00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:39,150 Suck it, Sanchez! 234 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:41,730 Morty, is that what I think it is? 235 00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:44,090 I mean, it's the equivalent of an iPhone 3 and it's empty, 236 00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:46,990 but it means the Portal Boys be portal-ing! 237 00:10:47,010 --> 00:10:48,089 Rick incoming. 238 00:10:48,090 --> 00:10:49,570 Oh, crap, we better skedaddle! 239 00:10:49,590 --> 00:10:50,870 Moooooorty. 240 00:10:50,890 --> 00:10:53,160 But what about my dad, he-he's like a-a... puddle. 241 00:10:53,180 --> 00:10:55,269 You heard the garage, Rick'll turn him back into a solid 242 00:10:55,270 --> 00:10:57,510 - when he gets here! - Sorry, Dad, gotta go be heroes. 243 00:10:57,530 --> 00:10:59,300 G-Gonna take your car, love you! 244 00:11:04,890 --> 00:11:06,980 That's us down there with the poop brown roof. 245 00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:18,630 - What is that? - Oh. Ha. That? 246 00:11:18,650 --> 00:11:20,220 T-That's... nothing. 247 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:23,204 But I see "Two Crows" written right here beside... 248 00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:26,710 Gene with donkey brains, half a Paul Giamatti, 249 00:11:26,730 --> 00:11:28,130 and... sentient shit. 250 00:11:28,150 --> 00:11:30,890 I guess the "joke" being that crows are stupid? 251 00:11:30,910 --> 00:11:32,790 I think it's a little more nuanced than that. 252 00:11:32,810 --> 00:11:36,150 Right, because you just learned empathy from us 10 minutes ago, 253 00:11:36,180 --> 00:11:38,590 but now we're going to learn we don't get your humor? 254 00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:39,670 horse shit. 255 00:11:39,690 --> 00:11:42,015 Yeah, there's not a ton to "get," genius, 256 00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:45,250 the "joke" is your grandson was so replaceable 257 00:11:45,270 --> 00:11:47,770 that "even" two crows could do it. 258 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,939 Haha. It's funny except it's not. 259 00:11:49,940 --> 00:11:52,550 Right, well, to be honest, that is how I felt at the time. 260 00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:55,270 But I've-I've rounded a corner. I seriously have, you guys. 261 00:11:55,290 --> 00:12:00,430 Well, now it's time to round the corner of death! 262 00:12:00,450 --> 00:12:03,730 Let the crow-volution begin. 263 00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:05,570 Aah! 264 00:12:05,590 --> 00:12:08,030 Aw, that sound. What have you done? 265 00:12:08,050 --> 00:12:12,580 Turned crows against dozens of humans in a 300 meter radius. 266 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,060 Heeeelllllp... pleaseee... 267 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:16,060 Oh, now you beg for help? 268 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,051 - That wasn't me. - What do you mean? 269 00:12:18,060 --> 00:12:19,670 Dooooown here. 270 00:12:19,690 --> 00:12:21,269 Jerry, what the? Why are you a puddle? 271 00:12:21,270 --> 00:12:23,040 You don't deserve these! 272 00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:24,610 - Haha. - Genius. 273 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,290 - Caaatch you at a baaad time? - Yeah, Jerry. 274 00:12:27,310 --> 00:12:29,230 They took my goddamn crows! 275 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,230 Not now, Garbage Goober! Get back in your hole! 276 00:12:37,660 --> 00:12:39,860 Hohoho, our first adventure! 277 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:41,370 This definitely the place? 278 00:12:41,390 --> 00:12:43,389 Yeah, Rick's been ripping these guys off for years, 279 00:12:43,390 --> 00:12:45,590 they'll-they'll be really... 280 00:12:45,610 --> 00:12:47,150 uh, grateful. 281 00:12:47,170 --> 00:12:49,230 - Y'know, there... - Let's just get that fluid, bud. 282 00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:52,668 The Portal Boys are about to be in portal business! 283 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,139 Here he is. 284 00:12:56,140 --> 00:12:58,174 This rat was skimming your crystal harvest 285 00:12:58,190 --> 00:13:01,950 and sending it to a spaceman named Rick Sanchez. 286 00:13:01,970 --> 00:13:03,690 - Bastard! - Screw Rick! Kick his dick! 287 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:07,190 Yeah, right? But me and Nick here, we-we put a stop to that. 288 00:13:08,610 --> 00:13:11,530 The people of Kuntak thank you. 289 00:13:11,550 --> 00:13:13,010 He's a bad guy, right? 290 00:13:13,030 --> 00:13:14,550 Y-You're gonna bring him to justice? 291 00:13:14,570 --> 00:13:16,410 Yeah, of course. 292 00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:19,490 Uh, okay, p-pleasure doing business! 293 00:13:19,510 --> 00:13:20,830 Not so fast, Morty. 294 00:13:20,860 --> 00:13:23,230 We're not leaving until we get what we came for. 295 00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:25,090 - Funny, I'm prepared to. - So, hey, look, 296 00:13:25,110 --> 00:13:26,770 wh-what we want is portal fluid. 297 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,290 As our thanks. 298 00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:29,810 Portal fluid? 299 00:13:29,830 --> 00:13:33,190 You think I'd live in a lizard mine if I had portal fluid? 300 00:13:33,220 --> 00:13:36,770 Right, okay, or we could just kill you for it. 301 00:13:36,790 --> 00:13:37,810 He's kidding. 302 00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:40,180 He's... t-the Portal Boys only kill with kindness. 303 00:13:40,190 --> 00:13:41,210 And with guns. 304 00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:45,139 Oh, no. Oh, no. I-I'm not the one shooting! 305 00:13:45,140 --> 00:13:47,056 - Kill them! - I'm sorry. 306 00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:49,840 Stop! Stop! They're unarmed! 307 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:55,231 Ahh! What the? Morty! Morty! 308 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,140 Cool place ya got here. Very Dark Crystal meets Hot Topic. 309 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,700 Now where are my damn crows? 310 00:14:09,820 --> 00:14:11,540 Seriously? 311 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,916 Is there anything not on theme here? 312 00:14:22,730 --> 00:14:27,160 Even now your primate storms our ship to assert his dominance. 313 00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:29,860 Touch the sacred egg and ascend. 314 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:33,143 No longer shall you take orders from this beast. 315 00:14:33,144 --> 00:14:34,937 But taking orders from you i-is fine? 316 00:14:34,950 --> 00:14:36,440 Silence, Ape! 317 00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:41,470 C'mon, if you think my crows are gonna leave the great thing we have 318 00:14:41,490 --> 00:14:43,440 for whatever high fantasy bullthis is? 319 00:14:43,460 --> 00:14:46,350 You're wrong. R-Right, guys? 320 00:14:46,370 --> 00:14:48,360 Th-This is seriously a toss-up. 321 00:14:49,770 --> 00:14:52,010 Uh... someone wanna get that? 322 00:14:52,030 --> 00:14:54,200 Oh. It's me, isn't it? Woof. 323 00:14:54,220 --> 00:14:56,750 Lemme just make sure it's not an emergency... Yello. 324 00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:59,128 Rick, I'm so sorry, I-I messed up big! 325 00:14:59,130 --> 00:15:01,240 Morty? It's okay, y-ya can't be worse off than me. 326 00:15:01,260 --> 00:15:02,990 I-I got portal splashed, robbed you, 327 00:15:03,010 --> 00:15:04,470 jumped into a rebound with a psycho, 328 00:15:04,490 --> 00:15:05,820 and-and left a trail of dead! 329 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,150 Wow, somebody's been busy. 330 00:15:07,170 --> 00:15:08,629 I-I did it 'cause you hurt my feelings 331 00:15:08,630 --> 00:15:09,950 w-when you chose the two crows! 332 00:15:09,970 --> 00:15:12,010 Jesus, it was a bit, I'm getting my ass kicked 333 00:15:12,030 --> 00:15:14,650 by this dumb crow story, it's all gone tits up. 334 00:15:14,670 --> 00:15:17,750 Ha, okay, I-I miss you, man. 335 00:15:17,770 --> 00:15:20,107 Uh, goddamn it, might've been a bit too frank there. 336 00:15:27,910 --> 00:15:30,190 Yeah... gonna have to call ya back. 337 00:15:30,210 --> 00:15:31,244 Ahh! 338 00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:33,580 Gah! Tiny-handed little brat... 339 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,110 You think you can with me and get away with it? 340 00:15:36,130 --> 00:15:38,530 Then you don't know Nick. 341 00:15:46,250 --> 00:15:49,610 Busted. You don't get it, do you? 342 00:15:49,630 --> 00:15:51,400 As long as we have these portals, 343 00:15:51,420 --> 00:15:53,750 - you can never escape me. - What the hell, man. 344 00:15:53,770 --> 00:15:56,018 I-I thought we were both victims of Rick's abuse. 345 00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:57,430 Maybe we are, maybe we're not. 346 00:15:57,450 --> 00:15:59,270 Maybe we both just drink at the same bar 347 00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:01,870 and maybe one night I tried to take his portal gun. 348 00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:04,450 See I thought Rick was my ticket to something special, 349 00:16:04,470 --> 00:16:06,270 but it turns out you were, Morty. 350 00:16:06,290 --> 00:16:09,198 And look at me now... I'm a Portal Boy. 351 00:16:09,210 --> 00:16:11,701 That name sucks! I was just trying to yes-and! 352 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,036 You don't get it, Morty. 353 00:16:14,050 --> 00:16:15,690 We're partners. 354 00:16:15,710 --> 00:16:18,207 Now fall in line or I'll make your life a living hell. 355 00:16:18,220 --> 00:16:19,875 No... thank... you. 356 00:16:19,890 --> 00:16:24,100 Pity, I can't have you connected to me if you're not on my side. 357 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,215 That means I gotta kill you. 358 00:16:26,230 --> 00:16:28,650 The thing is, I already got a partner, 359 00:16:28,670 --> 00:16:30,219 and there's no room for promotions. 360 00:16:33,740 --> 00:16:35,370 What the did you just do? 361 00:16:35,390 --> 00:16:37,260 Cut you out of my life. 362 00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:46,190 Ahhh! 363 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,120 See how quickly your allies abandon you, Rick Sanchez? 364 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,680 Lucky for me, abandonment's my bread and butter. 365 00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:05,254 Oh, You were supposed to die! 366 00:17:05,270 --> 00:17:07,630 I gotta hand it to you... I was iffy about this one, 367 00:17:07,650 --> 00:17:09,507 but crow tech slaps! 368 00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:15,431 Finish him, you fools! 369 00:17:15,450 --> 00:17:17,010 Go ahead. Do it. 370 00:17:17,030 --> 00:17:20,061 You guys look so rad. I deserve to go out this way! 371 00:17:26,250 --> 00:17:28,736 Bird... qua... luudes. 372 00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:29,819 Done. 373 00:17:34,050 --> 00:17:35,451 Oh, my God, that was awesome. 374 00:17:35,470 --> 00:17:37,430 Y-You could've killed me back there. 375 00:17:37,450 --> 00:17:40,010 H-How did you guys ever forgive me? 376 00:17:40,030 --> 00:17:42,090 Right, 'cause this toxic thing I have with Morty 377 00:17:42,110 --> 00:17:43,209 doesn't define us. 378 00:17:43,220 --> 00:17:45,410 Man, crows are empathetic as! 379 00:17:47,910 --> 00:17:49,382 Definitely saving this one! 380 00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:54,136 Rick and two crows! 381 00:17:58,670 --> 00:17:59,809 Oh, my God, Morty. 382 00:17:59,820 --> 00:18:02,395 Here, here, come here, l-let-let grandpa fix you up, 383 00:18:02,410 --> 00:18:04,430 What do you want, a robot hand? A lizard hand? 384 00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:06,109 I can make it big again like that one time? 385 00:18:06,110 --> 00:18:07,233 Just my regular hand! 386 00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:09,570 Right, not a time for bits, I get it. 387 00:18:12,210 --> 00:18:13,920 There ya go, good as new. 388 00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:16,330 So we're like, back-back, right? 389 00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:17,850 Rick and Morty, together again. 390 00:18:17,870 --> 00:18:20,530 - Fu-Full reset? - No. 391 00:18:20,550 --> 00:18:22,010 No, Morty, I think we're done. 392 00:18:22,030 --> 00:18:24,029 Be-Because I spilled the portal fluid and didn't tell you? 393 00:18:24,030 --> 00:18:26,570 No, Morty. 'Cause you were too afraid to tell me. 394 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,430 What we had was abusive. Don't you see? 395 00:18:28,450 --> 00:18:31,006 I'm a bad partner because I never made you a true partner. 396 00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:32,650 The crows made me see that. 397 00:18:32,670 --> 00:18:34,069 I thought they were a joke like you, 398 00:18:34,070 --> 00:18:36,239 but it turns out they're more enlightened than any of us. 399 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,514 O-Okay? And-And what's the undercut? 400 00:18:38,530 --> 00:18:41,100 You're not hearing me. I will never be the same, 401 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,510 so I need to leave with the crows 402 00:18:42,540 --> 00:18:43,949 and see what more they can teach me. 403 00:18:43,950 --> 00:18:46,640 Oh. Oh. 404 00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:50,609 Here, I want you to have this. 405 00:18:50,620 --> 00:18:52,780 Oh, wow I... 406 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,960 You know what, Rick? You really have changed. 407 00:18:55,980 --> 00:18:57,250 Thanks, Morty. 408 00:18:58,950 --> 00:19:00,790 I'll always be your grandpa, Morty. 409 00:19:00,810 --> 00:19:02,830 Just kinda obsessed with crows now. 410 00:19:32,620 --> 00:19:34,730 Aww, shit! Rick and two crows! 411 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:36,210 Kicking off my new franchise! 412 00:19:36,230 --> 00:19:37,870 The galaxy is our telephone wire! 413 00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:39,070 We'll do a thousand seasons, 414 00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:41,410 14 episodes each, 9-9 seconds a pop 415 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:42,909 because that's the future of viewing... 416 00:19:42,910 --> 00:19:44,790 shows on your shoes... Sneaki! 417 00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:46,249 That's when you've got everybody's attention... 418 00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:47,669 when they're putting crap on their feet. 419 00:19:47,670 --> 00:19:49,330 That's when they wanna laugh. Cry. 420 00:19:49,350 --> 00:19:51,710 Or feel anything besides a shoe going on their foot! 421 00:19:51,730 --> 00:19:53,290 Watch sitcoms on your sneakers! 422 00:19:53,310 --> 00:19:54,757 The Rick and Two Crows Show, 423 00:19:54,770 --> 00:19:57,110 we're gonna be layin'... layin' walnuts on the road 424 00:19:57,140 --> 00:19:59,810 for car tires to open em' you know what I mean? 425 00:19:59,830 --> 00:20:02,430 Forever, it's Rick and two crows, forever! 426 00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:10,030 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 427 00:20:39,730 --> 00:20:41,303 Where do you think you're going? 428 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:42,910 Oh, well, ya know... 429 00:20:42,930 --> 00:20:45,724 the-the red light usually means there's... garbage... 430 00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:47,977 Did you seriously not talk to Rick yet? 431 00:20:47,990 --> 00:20:49,210 I kinda hinted at it. 432 00:20:49,230 --> 00:20:51,530 L-Look, I know it's not the job I came here for, 433 00:20:51,550 --> 00:20:53,774 - but it's an honest living. - Goddamn it, Harold. 434 00:20:53,790 --> 00:20:56,210 What do they call you... Garbage Goober? 435 00:20:56,230 --> 00:20:58,070 You are a doctor for God sakes! 436 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,970 Look, I don't know how I let this happen, 437 00:20:59,990 --> 00:21:02,950 but I-I've let it play out so long that I can't stop now. 438 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:05,828 You're a coward. 439 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,440 You're right. This ends here and now. 440 00:21:08,460 --> 00:21:11,210 Garbage Goober, we got freshy trash trash for ya! 441 00:21:11,230 --> 00:21:14,110 Extra stinky just the way you like it! 442 00:21:15,330 --> 00:21:17,630 Mmm, trash, I love trash... 443 00:21:17,660 --> 00:21:19,675 yum yum trash, I wanna eat trash. 444 00:21:21,135 --> 00:21:22,802 Did you get any of that?