1 00:00:06,010 --> 00:00:07,543 Previously, on "Rick and Morty"... 2 00:00:07,550 --> 00:00:09,462 Jerry, I had sex with your wife. 3 00:00:09,470 --> 00:00:12,270 - Ohhh! - I did it! I fixed portal travel! 4 00:00:12,290 --> 00:00:14,500 Jack the Ripper, at your service. 5 00:00:14,510 --> 00:00:16,214 - Cool! - This happened too? 6 00:00:16,215 --> 00:00:19,096 - I'm pregnant. - Honey, she's just like you! 7 00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:21,015 - It's raining meatballs! - Okay, something is... 8 00:00:21,016 --> 00:00:23,390 Jerry Smith died doing what he loved... 9 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:25,470 - getting stung by bees. - Off. 10 00:00:25,490 --> 00:00:27,170 Off what? Have some respect. 11 00:00:27,180 --> 00:00:28,440 It's Dad's funeral. 12 00:00:28,450 --> 00:00:30,350 I'm gonna name you Jerry Jr. 13 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,050 Thanks for solving that murder, guys. 14 00:00:32,060 --> 00:00:33,869 - Here's a skateboard. - Aw, thanks, Tony Hawk! 15 00:00:33,870 --> 00:00:35,109 - Morty, say you'll marry me! - What? 16 00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:36,150 - What? - Just say yes! 17 00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:37,710 - Yes? - Okay... 18 00:00:37,730 --> 00:00:39,050 Rick, do you promise to... 19 00:00:39,060 --> 00:00:41,029 I do, and for our honeymoon let's go to a sealed chamber 20 00:00:41,030 --> 00:00:42,912 - lined with ionized deuterium! - Why? 21 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,930 Because the charge acts as a narrative decelerant. 22 00:00:44,950 --> 00:00:46,190 Morty, none of this is real. 23 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,470 We're in a "previously on" spiral. Clear your head. 24 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:50,294 - After all that's happened? - No. 25 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,310 I-I'm innocent! 26 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:52,710 I didn't release those bees! 27 00:00:52,730 --> 00:00:53,797 I love Jerry! 28 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,490 - What'd I just say? - When? 29 00:00:55,510 --> 00:00:56,609 Okay, great execution. 30 00:00:56,610 --> 00:00:58,177 Let's go back to the chamber. 31 00:00:58,180 --> 00:01:01,010 Now repeat after me, Morty... "Next time on 'Rick and Morty.'" 32 00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:02,710 Next time on "Rick and Morty"? 33 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:04,770 No. Previously, on "Rick and Morty"... 34 00:01:04,790 --> 00:01:07,170 Ignore it, Morty. "Next time on 'Rick and Morty.'" 35 00:01:07,190 --> 00:01:08,350 It counteracts his toxins. 36 00:01:08,370 --> 00:01:09,690 Next time on "Rick and Morty." 37 00:01:09,710 --> 00:01:11,857 - Whose toxins? - Hey, stop it! 38 00:01:11,860 --> 00:01:13,400 Previous Leon! Grab him! 39 00:01:14,450 --> 00:01:16,909 Hold on tight, Morty! We got to get through the opening titles! 40 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,572 Opening titles of what? 41 00:01:18,580 --> 00:01:20,729 - Whoa! We're in space! - Let go of me! Ow! Ow! 42 00:01:23,460 --> 00:01:25,079 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 43 00:01:27,810 --> 00:01:29,430 What planet is this? 44 00:01:29,450 --> 00:01:30,620 Cover your eyes on this part. 45 00:01:30,630 --> 00:01:32,795 Oh, my God, it's a giant squirrel! 46 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,297 Why are we dressed like old-timey people? 47 00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:37,591 - What the hell's going on? - No way! 48 00:01:38,790 --> 00:01:40,261 Why is my dad in a suit? 49 00:01:40,270 --> 00:01:42,410 - Best episode! - Why am I butter? 50 00:01:42,430 --> 00:01:43,780 Okay, we're almost through. 51 00:01:43,790 --> 00:01:45,350 - Ohh! - Ohh! 52 00:01:46,830 --> 00:01:48,020 Ow! 53 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,330 Ugh, and we're back! 54 00:01:52,340 --> 00:01:53,440 Stop! 55 00:01:53,450 --> 00:01:54,910 - What just happened? - Let go of me! 56 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:55,970 Why was there music? 57 00:01:56,990 --> 00:01:59,190 Because of this conceptual little piece of shit! 58 00:01:59,210 --> 00:02:01,390 - Grab his feet! - If we have opening titles, 59 00:02:01,410 --> 00:02:03,020 d-does that mean that we're a... 60 00:02:03,030 --> 00:02:05,170 Let your body purge the meta-venom, Morty. 61 00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:07,079 Don't succumb to his pointless self-aware bullshit. 62 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:08,410 It's not pointless, it's cool! 63 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,190 - He's got a gun! - Eat lead, pussy! 64 00:02:13,210 --> 00:02:14,420 No, no, no! 65 00:02:14,430 --> 00:02:15,546 Fuck! 66 00:02:15,550 --> 00:02:16,970 Oh! 67 00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:19,090 Son of a... 68 00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:20,520 - Did he use a portal? - He wishes. 69 00:02:20,530 --> 00:02:21,950 He wriggled back to the meta layer 70 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,149 through a hole in the fourth wall. 71 00:02:23,150 --> 00:02:24,730 Put these on and help me find it. 72 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,219 - I-I don't like this, Rick. 73 00:02:28,220 --> 00:02:30,350 Yeah, you shouldn't. It's not a likable premise. 74 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:32,779 I mean it's funny when I do a little nod to the viewers, but... 75 00:02:32,780 --> 00:02:34,819 - What viewers? - That's the right attitude, Morty. 76 00:02:34,820 --> 00:02:37,180 A few carefree verbal asides, always by me. 77 00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:39,390 None of this season-three "Moonlighting" shit. 78 00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:41,419 - Okay, here it is. - You're going to... to patch it? 79 00:02:41,420 --> 00:02:43,550 No, he subverted actual reality, Morty. 80 00:02:43,570 --> 00:02:45,770 He needs to be put down like a rabid dog. 81 00:02:54,290 --> 00:02:55,610 Ow! Fuck! 82 00:02:55,630 --> 00:02:57,670 Oh, yeah, no, you don't wanna wear those over here. 83 00:02:59,270 --> 00:03:00,760 Maybe he went down that road? 84 00:03:00,770 --> 00:03:02,649 No, no, no. If he took that, he'd end up a hero. 85 00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:04,430 Damn it, Rick. I don't like this. 86 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:05,660 I-Is this whole place just... 87 00:03:05,670 --> 00:03:07,130 A bunch of groan-inducing wordplay 88 00:03:07,150 --> 00:03:09,250 for seven TV critics that won't even enjoy it? 89 00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:10,529 It's worse than you think, Morty. 90 00:03:10,530 --> 00:03:12,353 We're basting in meta radiation right now. 91 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,270 Our credibility is being permanently eroded. 92 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,450 Every second we spend here 93 00:03:15,470 --> 00:03:17,590 is the equivalent to 10 "Space Jam" cameos. 94 00:03:17,610 --> 00:03:19,760 You should have thought of that... previously! 95 00:03:19,770 --> 00:03:20,780 Get him! 96 00:03:23,330 --> 00:03:24,570 Ow! Ow! 97 00:03:26,610 --> 00:03:29,380 Oh, no! Bless me, Heavenly Father, for you will save me. 98 00:03:29,390 --> 00:03:31,460 Now I feel bad. Let's just get out of here. 99 00:03:31,470 --> 00:03:32,490 Because he prays? 100 00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:34,210 You know Hitler was Catholic, right? 101 00:03:34,917 --> 00:03:36,043 I'm here, Leon. 102 00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:37,150 - Uhh... - Okay. 103 00:03:37,170 --> 00:03:39,370 He apparently prays very well. 104 00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:41,290 Time for you two to meet the Lord. 105 00:03:41,310 --> 00:03:43,319 That's okay, we're good. Treat it like a bear attack. 106 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,740 Just walk backwards and make yourself look big. 107 00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:48,690 I love a good refusal of the call. 108 00:03:48,710 --> 00:03:50,470 Hello, Rick. 109 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,510 Hello... Amish Juggler? 110 00:03:52,530 --> 00:03:54,370 His name is Story Lord. 111 00:03:54,390 --> 00:03:56,105 Story... Lord? 112 00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:57,810 Listen, trust me, take Amish Juggler. 113 00:03:57,830 --> 00:03:59,430 - You can have it. - Story Lord. 114 00:03:59,450 --> 00:04:01,890 Rick, h-he's the villain from that toy train I bought you. 115 00:04:01,910 --> 00:04:03,970 Very good, Morty. The fictional versions of you 116 00:04:03,990 --> 00:04:05,890 trapped me in a Bible show for children, 117 00:04:05,910 --> 00:04:07,350 but I used make-believe Christ 118 00:04:07,370 --> 00:04:10,330 to transcend fiction and enter meta-reality. 119 00:04:10,340 --> 00:04:12,890 Now I'm the one doing the trapping. 120 00:04:12,910 --> 00:04:14,430 Leon was the bait. 121 00:04:14,450 --> 00:04:15,800 - Bait? - Jesus? 122 00:04:15,810 --> 00:04:17,626 Aaah! 123 00:04:17,630 --> 00:04:18,900 Aah! 124 00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:21,860 Don't ever...! Dumb mother...! 125 00:04:25,150 --> 00:04:26,630 You're using Jesus to beat us up? 126 00:04:26,650 --> 00:04:29,110 - Have you seen "South Park"? - Good call-out, Morty. 127 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:30,680 That's the kind of meta I like, 128 00:04:30,690 --> 00:04:32,890 the kind that keeps us creatively accountable. 129 00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:35,210 Oh, God. Not the Bane. Not the Bane! 130 00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:39,440 He Baned me, Morty. Oh, Jesus Baned me. 131 00:04:40,890 --> 00:04:42,389 Y-You can't beat me up. I-I'm... I'm... 132 00:04:42,390 --> 00:04:43,902 I'm technically a Christian child! 133 00:04:43,910 --> 00:04:46,040 And I'm your worst nightmare. 134 00:04:46,050 --> 00:04:48,310 I'm the Jesus from every Jesus joke. 135 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:51,910 - The one without a God. - Morty! Take this and get out! 136 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,450 Thank you. 137 00:04:53,470 --> 00:04:56,000 Looks like Story Lord's story is about to become... 138 00:04:56,010 --> 00:04:57,666 based on real events. 139 00:04:57,670 --> 00:04:58,719 What do you want with that? 140 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:00,669 I want what any character wants. 141 00:05:00,670 --> 00:05:01,962 Motivation! 142 00:05:01,970 --> 00:05:04,465 - What? That's dumb. - So lazy! 143 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:06,410 Forward your notes to my ass! 144 00:05:08,530 --> 00:05:10,020 Wait, what? He just left. 145 00:05:10,030 --> 00:05:12,550 Kind of makes you want to be our unlikely ally, huh? 146 00:05:12,570 --> 00:05:13,610 Oh, I guess not. 147 00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:18,300 Previously, on Jesus Christ... 148 00:05:18,890 --> 00:05:20,430 - Hey, I'm Jesus. - I'm Mary. 149 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:22,441 - That's my mom's name! - Stop. 150 00:05:22,450 --> 00:05:25,190 - Dude, she's a hooker. - She's a better disciple than you! 151 00:05:25,710 --> 00:05:28,570 Ow! Aw! Owww! 152 00:05:28,580 --> 00:05:30,550 Oh, no. 153 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:33,160 I can't die. 154 00:05:33,170 --> 00:05:35,580 I 'ave a proposition for you. 155 00:05:35,590 --> 00:05:37,080 I work alone. 156 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:43,390 If I suck-a your blood, I'll be invincible! I think! 157 00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,210 - You'll never know. - Aah! 158 00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:48,010 Billionaire immortal entrepreneur Jesus Christ 159 00:05:48,030 --> 00:05:49,400 has placed all his money 160 00:05:49,420 --> 00:05:52,300 into what he's calling a "second chance at love." 161 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,849 - Hang on, Mary! - The data! 162 00:05:54,850 --> 00:05:56,850 So beautiful! 163 00:05:56,860 --> 00:05:59,561 Make me normal, witch. 164 00:05:59,580 --> 00:06:02,981 Take it all! 165 00:06:02,990 --> 00:06:04,930 Eat your pudding, Mr. Christ. 166 00:06:04,950 --> 00:06:06,860 What are you smiling at? 167 00:06:06,870 --> 00:06:08,654 Your name. 168 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:12,350 What's happening, Rick? 169 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,949 Leon's venom makes you think more and more of your life is behind you 170 00:06:14,950 --> 00:06:17,050 as he feeds on your released potential. 171 00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:20,207 Leon, y-you saved our lives! 172 00:06:20,210 --> 00:06:22,310 - Oh, not yet, he hasn't. - Jeez, Rick! 173 00:06:22,330 --> 00:06:23,490 - So mean! - He's meta, Morty. 174 00:06:23,510 --> 00:06:24,628 His life doesn't matter. 175 00:06:24,630 --> 00:06:27,005 Yours does. That's why we need to get back. 176 00:06:27,010 --> 00:06:29,879 - Well, this doesn't feel like a citadel. 177 00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:34,054 Uh, maybe it's cooler on the inside. 178 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,070 This isn't what it looks like. 179 00:06:37,090 --> 00:06:40,170 This is a very special diet for successful writers. 180 00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:41,590 Why do you look like my character? 181 00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,030 I am your character! 182 00:06:43,050 --> 00:06:45,357 And you are going to improve me. 183 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,109 But you're Story Lord. You're great. 184 00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:48,880 Great isn't good enough! 185 00:06:48,890 --> 00:06:51,570 I've killed Rick and made myself real! 186 00:06:51,590 --> 00:06:54,270 I'm better than some shitty toy train. 187 00:06:54,290 --> 00:06:56,190 Is this your office or your apartment? 188 00:06:56,210 --> 00:06:58,110 Why does it smell like you sleep here? 189 00:06:58,130 --> 00:07:00,310 You're my creator. Why are you pathetic? 190 00:07:00,330 --> 00:07:02,620 - Because you failed! - And whose fault is that? 191 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:03,750 What the hell happened? 192 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,810 You want to know what happened? Like, specifically? 193 00:07:05,830 --> 00:07:08,630 Well, the Ricks wanted to do a "Canterbury Tales"-type thing, 194 00:07:08,650 --> 00:07:10,869 but none of them have actually read fucking "Canterbury Tales." 195 00:07:10,870 --> 00:07:12,949 So then they told me to make it like the poker-game episode 196 00:07:12,950 --> 00:07:14,030 of the Batman cartoon 197 00:07:14,050 --> 00:07:16,010 where the bad guys tell stories about Batman. 198 00:07:16,030 --> 00:07:18,140 Then they kept telling me it "needed something." 199 00:07:18,150 --> 00:07:19,990 Yeah, no shit, it needed something! 200 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,910 It needed to never be pitched! 201 00:07:21,930 --> 00:07:23,180 I did my job! 202 00:07:23,190 --> 00:07:25,780 Goomby, the Ice Queen, the Tickets Please guy. 203 00:07:25,790 --> 00:07:26,910 They just bailed on it! 204 00:07:26,930 --> 00:07:28,570 The website didn't even fucking work! 205 00:07:28,590 --> 00:07:30,350 And it was a shitty URL to begin with, 206 00:07:30,370 --> 00:07:33,530 "Story-dash-train"? Who uses a dash? 207 00:07:33,550 --> 00:07:35,730 They set me up to fail. They fucked me! 208 00:07:35,750 --> 00:07:38,660 They fucked me and you're lucky I haven't blown my brains out! 209 00:07:38,670 --> 00:07:41,450 Right. Just give me a motivation, you hacky fart. 210 00:07:41,470 --> 00:07:42,870 Okay, here's your motivation. 211 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,690 You're looking for motivation. 212 00:07:44,710 --> 00:07:46,840 You want all the motivation. 213 00:07:46,850 --> 00:07:49,087 - That's lazy. - It got you this far. 214 00:07:49,090 --> 00:07:50,290 Must be nice, by the way. 215 00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:52,760 Wish I could afford to dress like a bisexual acting coach 216 00:07:52,780 --> 00:07:53,950 from the '70s. 217 00:07:53,970 --> 00:07:57,050 My motivation... is motivation. 218 00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,555 Okay. Bye. 219 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:02,100 Oh, no, my bitter friend. You're coming with me. 220 00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:07,010 Yo! If you don't see me coming, it's a bad fortress! 221 00:08:08,740 --> 00:08:11,840 - Where are we? - Headquarters of the Self-Referential Six. 222 00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:14,019 They're meta nerds that found out they could be less bearable 223 00:08:14,020 --> 00:08:15,560 - as a team. - They can help us? 224 00:08:15,570 --> 00:08:17,509 No, but there's a prisoner here that can. Shh. 225 00:08:17,510 --> 00:08:19,809 - Don't tell them that. - Rick Sanchez. 226 00:08:19,810 --> 00:08:22,370 I've been waiting for this moment for years. 227 00:08:22,380 --> 00:08:25,457 Oh, good. Morty, this is Miss... Lead. 228 00:08:25,460 --> 00:08:27,780 I should kill you where you stand. 229 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,190 I brought you Previous Leon. 230 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,149 You'll want to lock him up in your detention center. 231 00:08:32,150 --> 00:08:33,930 It's a trick! He wants your prisoner! 232 00:08:33,950 --> 00:08:35,430 - You dick. - Liar! 233 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:36,650 Talk about a mislead. 234 00:08:36,670 --> 00:08:38,970 - Anti-meta field. - Fancy device. 235 00:08:38,990 --> 00:08:41,410 I think I can recall the time you built it. 236 00:08:41,430 --> 00:08:43,016 Don't try it, Flash Back! 237 00:08:45,180 --> 00:08:47,460 You know, I-I'm excited about the upcoming election. 238 00:08:47,470 --> 00:08:50,130 This forcefield will be impenetrable by meta-energy. 239 00:08:50,150 --> 00:08:51,750 It runs on hydrogen isotopes. 240 00:08:51,770 --> 00:08:53,485 Hmmm. 241 00:08:53,490 --> 00:08:55,890 It runs on hydrogen isotopes. 242 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,580 A few barrels of petroleum should dampen it. 243 00:08:58,590 --> 00:08:59,990 Run, Morty! 244 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,690 Were those not there before? 245 00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:05,329 Guess there's been a... Connie TinuityError. 246 00:09:06,350 --> 00:09:09,042 - These people are the worst! - I told you! Way overpowered! 247 00:09:11,630 --> 00:09:14,160 - Look out, Rick! - Forget him. He's a nameless guard. 248 00:09:15,630 --> 00:09:16,640 That's Protago Nick. 249 00:09:16,650 --> 00:09:19,219 His beam has the power to make any character the protagonist. 250 00:09:20,345 --> 00:09:21,972 D-Duck! 251 00:09:22,780 --> 00:09:24,430 Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man. 252 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,250 Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man. 253 00:09:26,270 --> 00:09:28,310 Gah! What are you doing, Marvin? 254 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:30,740 Not dying, that's what I'm doing. 255 00:09:30,750 --> 00:09:33,410 Oh, what's going on? What happened? 256 00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:36,080 I did it again, Katie. I ran out on another job. 257 00:09:36,090 --> 00:09:39,110 Well, if you didn't do that, you wouldn't be my man. 258 00:09:55,090 --> 00:09:56,900 I was almost tempted to just let it go. 259 00:09:56,910 --> 00:09:58,810 - That's how much I hate it here. - Smash cut! 260 00:09:59,770 --> 00:10:01,280 Remember me, Rick? 261 00:10:01,290 --> 00:10:03,790 - Who's this guy, now? - I am Mr. Twist. 262 00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:07,210 The fifth member of the Self-Referential Six. 263 00:10:07,230 --> 00:10:10,780 - Who's the sixth? - That's the twist, Morty. It's you. 264 00:10:10,790 --> 00:10:11,859 - What? - Ignore him, Morty. 265 00:10:11,860 --> 00:10:13,389 The twist is there's no sixth member 266 00:10:13,390 --> 00:10:16,150 - and he tells that to everybody. - In any case, you're ours now. 267 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:18,090 You can't free yourself without a twist, 268 00:10:18,110 --> 00:10:21,610 - and I control them. - You don't control every twist, Mr. Twist. 269 00:10:21,630 --> 00:10:24,430 - I've got a twist for you. - Impossible! What is it? 270 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:25,452 - Aah! - Aha! 271 00:10:25,460 --> 00:10:28,430 Nice try! Like I didn't see that coming. 272 00:10:29,510 --> 00:10:31,290 Fuck me. 273 00:10:32,670 --> 00:10:34,628 - Great work, Morty! - I'm adapting! 274 00:10:34,630 --> 00:10:36,004 Here's our ticket out of here. 275 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,409 They got him in a cell made out of sports 276 00:10:37,410 --> 00:10:38,890 because it's the opposite of story. 277 00:10:38,910 --> 00:10:40,440 Do I want to ask who he is? 278 00:10:40,450 --> 00:10:41,870 His name is Brett Caan. 279 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:44,590 He has the power to make things always have been other things. 280 00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,110 I think that's called retconning. 281 00:10:46,130 --> 00:10:47,390 B-But his name's Brett Caan? 282 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,210 I mean, Rhett's a name too. His name could be Rhett Caan. 283 00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:53,250 It is. And always has been... now. 284 00:10:53,270 --> 00:10:54,650 - Whoa. - Careful, Morty. 285 00:10:54,670 --> 00:10:56,080 Stay clear of his retcon range. 286 00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:57,390 Until he agrees to help us. 287 00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,778 Rick, you've always trusted me. 288 00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:01,810 Nice try. Here's how it's gonna work. 289 00:11:01,830 --> 00:11:04,170 You're gonna make it so Morty and I never came here. 290 00:11:04,180 --> 00:11:05,669 Once that's always been the case, 291 00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:08,830 - I'll free you remotely with this. - What is my purpose? 292 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,650 To wait until I tell you to pull that lever. 293 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,082 You are fucking kidding me. 294 00:11:12,090 --> 00:11:13,890 If you don't free me right now, Rick, 295 00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:17,540 I can make very, very bad things always have been the case for you. 296 00:11:17,550 --> 00:11:18,710 Is that a threat, you fuck? 297 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,790 - Y-Y-You can rot in there. - Rick. 298 00:11:21,590 --> 00:11:23,059 You know what, Rhett? Forget what I said. 299 00:11:23,060 --> 00:11:24,510 We've always been friends. 300 00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:25,920 Good one. 301 00:11:25,930 --> 00:11:27,250 Whoa, easy, Rhett. 302 00:11:27,260 --> 00:11:29,720 Don't forget that coffee mug I gave you. 303 00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:32,860 You always were able to be killed with coffee. 304 00:11:32,870 --> 00:11:35,313 Aaah! 305 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,060 New plan. Run. Again. 306 00:11:37,070 --> 00:11:39,400 The twist being... 307 00:11:39,410 --> 00:11:41,430 You were born without bones. 308 00:11:42,650 --> 00:11:43,670 See ya never! 309 00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:47,580 There's never been anything outside this fortress. 310 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:48,610 God damn it! 311 00:11:48,630 --> 00:11:53,530 And this fortress has always been an orange! 312 00:11:55,730 --> 00:11:57,350 Pluh! Great plan, Rick! 313 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:58,779 Yeah, I'm not pushing back on that, Morty, 314 00:11:58,780 --> 00:12:00,700 I have royally fucked us. 315 00:12:02,690 --> 00:12:03,930 Ugh! It hurts. 316 00:12:03,950 --> 00:12:05,780 We've been past the fourth wall too long. 317 00:12:05,790 --> 00:12:08,770 - We won't be real much longer. - You killed us, Rick. 318 00:12:08,790 --> 00:12:12,010 You just had to hate meta storytelling. 319 00:12:12,020 --> 00:12:13,230 In my defense, Morty, 320 00:12:13,250 --> 00:12:16,530 I think you can agree my hate was justified. Ohh! 321 00:12:16,550 --> 00:12:22,020 Least... earned... death... ever... 322 00:12:25,410 --> 00:12:27,650 Death is a threshold. 323 00:12:32,740 --> 00:12:34,910 Ugh! What... What happened? 324 00:12:34,930 --> 00:12:35,957 You atoned. 325 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,417 Who... Who are you? 326 00:12:37,418 --> 00:12:39,870 I'm Joseph Campbell. Soup? 327 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:43,210 I almost considered not making it because my name is Campbell, 328 00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:45,250 but then I thought, stay in the moment, Joe. 329 00:12:45,260 --> 00:12:47,410 - Follow your bliss. - How are you here? 330 00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:49,304 R-Rhett Caan said there was nothing. 331 00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:51,570 Some things never change about mythology. 332 00:12:51,580 --> 00:12:53,710 There's always an old man with soup. 333 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,390 Name one story that doesn't have one. 334 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,119 - Uh, Jack and the Beanstalk. - "Basketball Diaries." 335 00:12:58,120 --> 00:12:59,810 - Every "Matrix." - Every movie ever. 336 00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:01,899 All right, I don't have to defend myself to you people. 337 00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,310 Where's my soup? 338 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,528 Previous Fuckin' Leon. 339 00:13:05,530 --> 00:13:06,710 Why is that prick here? 340 00:13:06,730 --> 00:13:09,190 No more a prick than you, friend. 341 00:13:09,210 --> 00:13:11,530 Meta characters erode reality. 342 00:13:11,550 --> 00:13:13,670 But all characters are meta, Rick. 343 00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:16,790 All of us are nourished and consumed by chaos, 344 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,150 like newborns at the breast of a meth addict 345 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:22,580 - in a lifeboat filled with forks. - I know what you have to do, Rick. 346 00:13:22,590 --> 00:13:24,270 Scrub Campbell's browser history? 347 00:13:24,290 --> 00:13:26,280 Just trust Previous Leon. 348 00:13:26,290 --> 00:13:28,385 Could you previously us a way home? 349 00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:31,690 Uh, well, I'll sure enjoy trying. 350 00:13:31,710 --> 00:13:32,750 Yeah, I bet you would. 351 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,620 Rick can't change, Morty. 352 00:13:34,630 --> 00:13:37,350 Change is what you might call his Kryptonite. 353 00:13:37,370 --> 00:13:39,090 Except instead of being super, 354 00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:41,690 he's, you know, kind of a pussy. 355 00:13:41,710 --> 00:13:42,850 Let's do it. 356 00:13:44,410 --> 00:13:46,270 Previously, on Rick... 357 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,729 Get him off! Get him off! 358 00:13:47,730 --> 00:13:49,112 Oh, boy. 359 00:13:49,113 --> 00:13:52,160 - He almost killed you! - Okay, well, I feel bad, 360 00:13:52,170 --> 00:13:53,980 I kind of pressured you into trying that. 361 00:13:53,990 --> 00:13:56,454 - You called me a pussy. - I said I feel bad! 362 00:13:56,460 --> 00:14:01,030 This is a map to a region rich in narrative ore. 363 00:14:01,050 --> 00:14:02,530 I wish you the best of luck. 364 00:14:02,540 --> 00:14:03,750 Faster, Morty! I'd help, 365 00:14:03,770 --> 00:14:05,672 but I can't blister my inventing hands. 366 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:07,090 - How long will it take? - Years. 367 00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:08,600 You can live in my wood shed. 368 00:14:08,610 --> 00:14:11,133 - Just don't open the door after dark. - Why not? 369 00:14:11,134 --> 00:14:13,249 Get out here, you Communist Jews! 370 00:14:13,250 --> 00:14:15,880 - Dude. Maybe I'm not an alcoholic. - I know, right? 371 00:14:15,890 --> 00:14:18,260 You fucking "Back to the Future" rip-offs! 372 00:14:18,930 --> 00:14:20,830 - It's ready. - Rick, I should stay. 373 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,349 - Why? - I'm pregnant. 374 00:14:22,350 --> 00:14:23,529 - What are you doing? - It wasn't him, Rick! 375 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:26,070 - Then who? - Me! I never left. 376 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:28,778 But you had to think all this happened to make that. 377 00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:30,363 And I can get this through the titles? 378 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,865 If you hang on tight. 379 00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:33,742 What about my beard and unborn child? 380 00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:34,993 Let them go. 381 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,010 - Thank you, Leon. - When you get home, Rick, 382 00:14:37,030 --> 00:14:38,790 do some classic adventures. 383 00:14:38,810 --> 00:14:40,929 - Like season one... - I'm so sick of that fucking note. 384 00:14:40,930 --> 00:14:42,610 What the fuck does it even mean? 385 00:14:47,150 --> 00:14:49,630 Ohh! 386 00:14:50,850 --> 00:14:52,420 Now, one last time. 387 00:14:52,430 --> 00:14:54,770 - What's my motivation? - Motivation. 388 00:14:54,780 --> 00:14:57,599 This machine will siphon it from everyone in the universe. 389 00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,430 Perfect. Greenlit. Launch it. 390 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:06,110 Oh, I think it's working! Yes, I can feel it! 391 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,850 Something I did is actually affecting someone! 392 00:15:12,830 --> 00:15:13,990 I don't want to work anymore. 393 00:15:14,010 --> 00:15:17,860 I do, but only as an excuse to not practice guitar. 394 00:15:22,590 --> 00:15:25,100 Why don't we just write any number down on the score sheet? 395 00:15:25,110 --> 00:15:26,530 Oh, why even do that? 396 00:15:30,210 --> 00:15:32,370 - Wait, you have to register? 397 00:15:32,380 --> 00:15:37,210 Yes! I can feel it! I'm so motivated! 398 00:15:37,220 --> 00:15:39,940 I want... a lot! 399 00:15:41,670 --> 00:15:44,729 - Story time's over. - Ha! Hardly your decision. 400 00:15:44,730 --> 00:15:48,108 Did you seriously double down on motivation as your motivation? 401 00:15:48,110 --> 00:15:50,290 - It's a good idea! - There's no such thing! 402 00:15:50,310 --> 00:15:51,669 There's joyful and there's joyless, 403 00:15:51,670 --> 00:15:52,930 and we've had our fill of one. 404 00:15:52,950 --> 00:15:54,810 Morty, make that sweaty writer stop working 405 00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:57,158 while I kill off his character. 406 00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:01,121 I have never been more driven to destroy someone. 407 00:16:01,130 --> 00:16:02,679 Yeah, well, I'm driven to lower my blood sugar, 408 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,208 but guess who's getting tacos after he kicks your ass? 409 00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:08,010 So you're jacked. Who cares? 410 00:16:09,050 --> 00:16:11,240 - Cum gutters. - I don't like that phrase. 411 00:16:11,260 --> 00:16:12,465 I don't take notes. 412 00:16:17,490 --> 00:16:19,070 You can't beat me, Rick. 413 00:16:19,090 --> 00:16:21,820 I have one million times your motivation! 414 00:16:21,830 --> 00:16:24,352 So do those guys with the cellphone kiosks at the mall. 415 00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:51,460 The hair is wrong. 416 00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:53,381 Like you'd be picky about licensing. 417 00:16:53,390 --> 00:16:55,717 Actually, I would. I happen to believe that... 418 00:17:01,970 --> 00:17:04,476 - You can do that? - You got to want it. 419 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,690 Come on, just stop. I-I don't want to fight you. 420 00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:10,290 Kid, I'm a writer that wrote something successful. 421 00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:11,419 So if you want me to give it up, 422 00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:12,459 you're gonna need a black belt 423 00:17:12,460 --> 00:17:14,750 - or a big pair of tits. - Yeah, well, I don't have those. 424 00:17:14,770 --> 00:17:17,180 In the mythical sense, I have both. 425 00:17:17,190 --> 00:17:18,230 Joseph Campbell? 426 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:20,116 Yeah, nice try. He died in the '80s. 427 00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:22,330 Only you can see and hear me, Morty. 428 00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:24,746 - Just repeat what I tell you. - Okay. 429 00:17:25,820 --> 00:17:28,660 Sir, you're only proud of your creation's success 430 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,410 because you want to be creative, 431 00:17:30,430 --> 00:17:32,490 but creation doesn't happen through gimmicks, 432 00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:33,963 technology, and distribution. 433 00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:35,830 It doesn't even happen through work. 434 00:17:35,850 --> 00:17:38,370 Creativity is frankly adjacent to mental illness 435 00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:40,053 and overlaps with it substantially. 436 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,910 A lot of talented people kill themselves 437 00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:43,348 and all of them are miserable. 438 00:17:43,350 --> 00:17:45,930 The real gift is to be ungifted, 439 00:17:45,950 --> 00:17:48,430 and from what I saw in your Green Arrow spec script, 440 00:17:48,450 --> 00:17:49,950 that's the gift you were given. 441 00:17:49,970 --> 00:17:51,570 You couldn't have seen that. 442 00:17:51,590 --> 00:17:53,510 I'm Joseph Campbell. I saw it. 443 00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:56,170 - The villain was a placeholder. - I said I saw it, Jan. 444 00:17:56,190 --> 00:17:58,210 I didn't say I could get past page five. 445 00:17:58,220 --> 00:17:59,739 Y-Your villains aren't the problem. 446 00:17:59,740 --> 00:18:01,470 The problem is, when you write, 447 00:18:01,490 --> 00:18:02,510 you're a villain. 448 00:18:02,530 --> 00:18:05,070 If you want to be a hero, just stop. 449 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,045 You know what? Maybe I will register. 450 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:18,383 Say it! Tell me I'm the new Mr. Nimbus! 451 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:22,690 Oh, looks like your writer took a hiatus. 452 00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:23,721 Oh, fuck. 453 00:18:23,730 --> 00:18:25,265 You're less motivated to fight now, 454 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,934 so this is literally punching down, but you've got it coming. 455 00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:32,350 Please, let me live. 456 00:18:32,370 --> 00:18:33,910 I promise to be cooler. 457 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:38,111 I'll be less inside baseball. Maybe I change my name? Ow! 458 00:18:39,730 --> 00:18:41,364 You failed me. 459 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:44,284 No, I failed you. 460 00:18:45,630 --> 00:18:49,372 All good things must come to an end. 461 00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:52,250 All bad things too, though, so don't flatter yourself. 462 00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:55,310 Jan, Joseph Campbell says you have to be the one to put him down. 463 00:18:55,330 --> 00:18:57,510 Wait, wait, wait, Joseph Campbell also says 464 00:18:57,530 --> 00:19:00,430 you have to use this brand-new limited edition Rick plush, 465 00:19:00,450 --> 00:19:03,370 available only on rick-plush.biz. 466 00:19:03,390 --> 00:19:05,510 - Supplies are limited. Act now. - He did? 467 00:19:11,370 --> 00:19:12,590 Shhh. 468 00:19:18,070 --> 00:19:20,530 Jesus, that's the last time I buy a toy from a Rick. 469 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,989 Ooh, the plushies are obviously well made. 470 00:19:28,380 --> 00:19:30,130 Thanks for getting us back alive, Rick. 471 00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:32,430 Well, I am a master of both worlds, Morty. 472 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,970 Joseph Campbell told me to stop writing. 473 00:19:37,980 --> 00:19:39,219 Because it should be effortless. 474 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,319 And when it happens organically, that's when it's meant to be. 475 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,330 You know, like, um, like me. 476 00:19:43,340 --> 00:19:45,650 I'm a writer, here's a pencil. Writers use pencils. 477 00:19:45,660 --> 00:19:47,229 Okay, so, like, what if, like, a pencil used me? 478 00:19:47,230 --> 00:19:49,190 Like, um... okay! Yeah! 479 00:19:49,210 --> 00:19:51,150 Okay, so it's like a magic pencil 480 00:19:51,170 --> 00:19:52,830 that writes the writer's life... 481 00:19:52,850 --> 00:19:56,370 holy shit, it's a movie about a writer! 482 00:19:56,390 --> 00:19:57,650 I am back! 483 00:19:58,566 --> 00:20:03,560 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - — www.addic7ed.com — 484 00:20:30,190 --> 00:20:35,030 Yeah, I'm Tag-Man! I-I-I-I live in the tag! 485 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:37,930 I-I-I am the tag! I'm Tag-Man! 486 00:20:37,950 --> 00:20:40,608 Tag... Tag of the episode... man! "Did you get any of that?" 487 00:20:40,610 --> 00:20:42,619 When the... yeah, when an episode's over, 488 00:20:42,620 --> 00:20:45,259 look out, because, yaaaah, here comes Tag-Man! 489 00:20:45,260 --> 00:20:48,610 And I'm... I'm crazy! Tag-Man! Yeah! 490 00:20:48,630 --> 00:20:50,680 I'm... I'mma tag your ass! 491 00:20:50,690 --> 00:20:53,370 Tag that ass. Tag-Ass-Man! 492 00:20:53,390 --> 00:20:55,210 I'm an Ass-Man now! 493 00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:56,680 I'm a... I'm a Tag-Man! 494 00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:58,430 Here's what you get. Here's your tag! 495 00:20:58,450 --> 00:20:59,810 Yeah, you want some more? 496 00:20:59,830 --> 00:21:02,250 You want... you want some more tag, you sick piece of shit? 497 00:21:02,270 --> 00:21:04,170 I'm... because I'm Tag-Man! 498 00:21:05,090 --> 00:21:06,550 I miss my wife. 499 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,436 Too bad. This is it! 500 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,638 Tag-Man, yeah! 501 00:21:12,150 --> 00:21:13,641 Did you get any of that?