1 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:09,650 Why are we waiting in line for food? 2 00:00:09,670 --> 00:00:12,050 It's a pop-up. It's a rare, pop-up restaurant thing 3 00:00:12,070 --> 00:00:14,060 that only enters our solar system... Rick. 4 00:00:14,070 --> 00:00:15,599 You're gonna spoil your appetite. 5 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,299 That's a weird way to say I'm gonna stop being hungry 6 00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:19,010 by eating food, but whatever. 7 00:00:19,030 --> 00:00:20,450 Three crispy, uh, four wiggling. 8 00:00:20,460 --> 00:00:21,659 You're probably not even hungry. 9 00:00:21,660 --> 00:00:23,829 You just don't like lines because they aren't about you. 10 00:00:23,830 --> 00:00:25,080 Another weirdly aggressive way 11 00:00:25,090 --> 00:00:27,290 to describe a friend respecting themselves. 12 00:00:27,310 --> 00:00:29,930 - Eugh! - What a wonderful thing to say! 13 00:00:29,950 --> 00:00:33,670 Ha ha! I was merely inspired by the wonderful thing you said! 14 00:00:33,690 --> 00:00:35,870 Sirs? Guys? You dropped this. 15 00:00:35,890 --> 00:00:38,390 Please, take it as a reward. So courteous! 16 00:00:38,410 --> 00:00:40,230 How nice it will be for you to eat 17 00:00:40,250 --> 00:00:43,210 what you were willing to stand in line for so much sooner. 18 00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:44,250 Oh, no, that's okay. 19 00:00:44,260 --> 00:00:46,110 I came to stand in line and then eat. 20 00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:47,650 I-I wouldn't wanna do it differently. 21 00:00:47,670 --> 00:00:48,850 Hmm... 22 00:00:48,860 --> 00:00:50,930 Dear fellow, I choose this moment 23 00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:53,720 to surrender my sword so that you may succeed me 24 00:00:53,740 --> 00:00:55,520 as the newest Knight of the Sun. 25 00:00:55,530 --> 00:00:58,350 What? No. I-I-I didn't even want your sandwich. 26 00:00:58,360 --> 00:00:59,568 I don't want your sword. 27 00:00:59,570 --> 00:01:01,612 Oh, believe me, son. You want it. 28 00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:04,500 I don't understand. You're knights? With a "K"? 29 00:01:04,510 --> 00:01:07,117 Of the Sun with a "U" or... or an "O"? 30 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,230 Your alphabet is of no concern here. 31 00:01:09,250 --> 00:01:11,870 We are sworn defenders of Helios, 32 00:01:11,890 --> 00:01:13,810 the center of this system. 33 00:01:13,830 --> 00:01:15,410 Okay, so it's "Sun" with a "U." 34 00:01:15,420 --> 00:01:17,780 Oh, God. Morty, don't take the sword. 35 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,850 Oh, I'm shocked you're against something, Rick. 36 00:01:19,870 --> 00:01:21,809 - You know these guys? - I know how they're dressed 37 00:01:21,810 --> 00:01:23,190 and how boring this sounds. 38 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,220 You take that sword, 39 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:26,390 you're gonna get sucked into a whole complicated... 40 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:27,638 Oh, shit! 41 00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:30,530 - Come on, take it. - Uh... 42 00:01:30,550 --> 00:01:32,269 I mean, if that kid's not gonna take the sword... 43 00:01:32,270 --> 00:01:33,610 He didn't offer it to you. 44 00:01:33,630 --> 00:01:35,290 Sorry. Can I just ask some stuff? 45 00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:36,855 W-What does a Knight of the Sun do? 46 00:01:36,860 --> 00:01:38,550 He takes the sword, for one thing. 47 00:01:38,570 --> 00:01:40,401 You know what? Maybe you made a bad call. 48 00:01:40,410 --> 00:01:42,529 - He... He doesn't want the sword. - I didn't say that. 49 00:01:42,530 --> 00:01:43,904 Well, you sure aren't taking it. 50 00:01:43,910 --> 00:01:45,239 Would you just take a random... 51 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:47,290 Obviously I would, yes! And I did! 52 00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:49,930 Best decision of my life! And you're shitting on it! 53 00:01:49,950 --> 00:01:51,700 Excuse me? Is this just a free sword? 54 00:01:51,710 --> 00:01:53,280 - No! - I'm taking the sword. 55 00:01:53,290 --> 00:01:55,790 Thank you, Dawnling. What is your name? 56 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:59,120 - Morty. - Now it is Sir Mortaniel. 57 00:01:59,140 --> 00:02:00,796 I made it a little knightier. 58 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,240 Good day. 59 00:02:02,250 --> 00:02:03,632 Wait, did he just... 60 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,650 God damn it, Morty! You took the sword? 61 00:02:05,670 --> 00:02:08,200 - So boring! - Oh, like you're not at this point? 62 00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:09,790 You drunk cranky fuck! 63 00:02:13,490 --> 00:02:15,130 Ouch. 64 00:02:15,150 --> 00:02:16,630 You guys still gonna stand in line? 65 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,400 Y-You're not gonna take this food? 66 00:02:18,410 --> 00:02:20,810 The pop-up pays us to stand here. 67 00:02:20,830 --> 00:02:22,650 - To drive up business. - Knew it. 68 00:02:50,260 --> 00:02:54,475 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 69 00:02:56,870 --> 00:03:01,390 Everyone! Sir Helios' successor, Sir Mortaniel! 70 00:03:11,830 --> 00:03:13,744 Wow, my... my own song! 71 00:03:13,750 --> 00:03:16,070 Now you know why Sir Helios had to change your name 72 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,880 to something with three syllables. 73 00:03:17,890 --> 00:03:20,380 Welcome, Dawnling, to the Sun! 74 00:03:20,390 --> 00:03:23,128 So it is the Sun, like Earth's sun? 75 00:03:23,130 --> 00:03:25,214 Ah-ha, he's heard of us! 76 00:03:25,220 --> 00:03:27,341 How come I'm not, like, burning to a crisp? 77 00:03:27,350 --> 00:03:30,050 You are currently protected by our powers, 78 00:03:30,060 --> 00:03:31,910 but soon they will be yours. 79 00:03:31,930 --> 00:03:34,230 Our flesh is indestructible! 80 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,250 Our lives are never-ending, 81 00:03:36,270 --> 00:03:38,190 but not even in the dumb vampire way 82 00:03:38,210 --> 00:03:40,390 where after a while you hate it and you can't die. 83 00:03:40,410 --> 00:03:41,980 We can die whenever we want. 84 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,106 We just don't have to. 85 00:03:43,110 --> 00:03:44,940 But you're not allowed to leave, right? 86 00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:47,528 L-Like, I'll... I'll... I'll never see my family again? 87 00:03:47,530 --> 00:03:48,790 We leave constantly! 88 00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:50,322 I met you on an asteroid. 89 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,870 Oh, yeah. Between us, that wasn't a deal breaker, 90 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,499 but it's even better that there's options. 91 00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:57,500 You'll have more freedom than you've ever known. 92 00:03:57,510 --> 00:03:58,810 Our king. 93 00:03:58,830 --> 00:04:01,320 The Sun is the center of the solar system. 94 00:04:01,330 --> 00:04:03,150 It is the home of the solar Scepter, 95 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,990 around which all worlds revolve. 96 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,930 The men who keep it safe are admired by all and live as gods. 97 00:04:08,940 --> 00:04:12,594 - Any more questions? - Uh, yeah, where do I sign? 98 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,610 Huzzah. 99 00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:15,710 Well, that does it. 100 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,780 Off to the parapet to make this official. 101 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,226 Yeah, let's do this. 102 00:04:21,050 --> 00:04:24,030 Now just cut off your penises and throw them into the Sun. 103 00:04:25,220 --> 00:04:27,442 Oooooooookey-dokey. 104 00:04:27,450 --> 00:04:29,361 I see Mortaniel wants to go first. 105 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:30,560 Uh, not true. 106 00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,390 Do I just leave the sword wherever? 107 00:04:32,410 --> 00:04:34,450 - I-Is there a sword bin? - What are you saying? 108 00:04:34,470 --> 00:04:36,829 - You don't want to cut off... - Listen, guys, c-can we not... 109 00:04:36,830 --> 00:04:39,230 It's a terrific and painful sacrifice we all make 110 00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:42,070 for the most important and powerful job in the universe. 111 00:04:42,090 --> 00:04:44,270 We've done it since the dawn of dawns. 112 00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:46,295 Yep. There it is in stained glass. 113 00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,840 It's official. A-And I'm not judging it. 114 00:04:48,850 --> 00:04:50,173 And I'm not doing it. 115 00:04:50,180 --> 00:04:52,290 People really live here? This is nuts. 116 00:04:52,310 --> 00:04:54,200 - I thought it was a metaphor. - We have to go. 117 00:04:55,070 --> 00:04:57,300 Ah. Boy. They're not messing around, huh? 118 00:04:57,310 --> 00:04:58,432 How are you not burning? 119 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,900 Oh, it's just science, which, unless I'm misinterpreting, 120 00:05:00,910 --> 00:05:02,603 is clearly not a priority here. 121 00:05:02,610 --> 00:05:03,710 Okay, c'mon, lil' June bug. 122 00:05:03,730 --> 00:05:05,330 I-I won't rub your face in this one. 123 00:05:05,350 --> 00:05:07,069 I-I'm guessing you're feeling pretty stupid. 124 00:05:07,070 --> 00:05:08,730 Yes. Thank you. 125 00:05:08,740 --> 00:05:11,480 Sir Helios gave his life with that sword. 126 00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:12,650 Mortaniel took it. 127 00:05:12,670 --> 00:05:15,660 He cannot leave unless he bests me in combat. 128 00:05:15,670 --> 00:05:17,690 Hmm. Okay, uh, one sec. 129 00:05:17,710 --> 00:05:19,629 I'm guessing these guys are, like, pseudo-immortalish 130 00:05:19,630 --> 00:05:21,539 since they live on the Sun, so playing by their rules 131 00:05:21,540 --> 00:05:22,879 might be the fastest way out of this. 132 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,250 J-Just best him in combat. 133 00:05:24,270 --> 00:05:25,370 - What? - Here. 134 00:05:25,380 --> 00:05:27,970 This sword uses A.I. to learn from an opponent's attacks. 135 00:05:27,990 --> 00:05:29,340 So I have to get attacked first? 136 00:05:29,350 --> 00:05:31,190 No, no, no, the sword has already seen "Blade." 137 00:05:31,210 --> 00:05:32,990 And loved it. You'll be fine. 138 00:05:35,790 --> 00:05:38,090 - By golly! - Ooh! Crikey! 139 00:05:43,270 --> 00:05:45,270 Okay, so we're done here. 140 00:05:45,290 --> 00:05:47,230 No. We're not done. 141 00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,440 I am done. 142 00:05:48,450 --> 00:05:49,942 You are now king of the Sun. 143 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:51,900 Protect the Scepter always. 144 00:05:51,910 --> 00:05:53,500 No, no, no, no, I don't want to! 145 00:05:57,750 --> 00:05:59,250 Well, how is that supposed to work? 146 00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:01,030 He's king, but he was never even a knight. 147 00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:03,729 - I mean, that's stupid. - Uh, it's... it's definitely a... Sun first. 148 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:06,083 - A king with a penis? - Well, what do you want from me? 149 00:06:06,090 --> 00:06:08,670 All hail King Mortaniel! 150 00:06:08,690 --> 00:06:09,850 Uhhhhh, as your king, 151 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,610 I hereby declare a vacation, for me. 152 00:06:12,630 --> 00:06:15,410 I'll come visit you guys, on, like, Sun Day... 153 00:06:15,430 --> 00:06:16,510 Sundays. 154 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,030 If I forget, just wait a week. 155 00:06:18,050 --> 00:06:20,722 Keep doing that, keep the crown. Peace. 156 00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:27,410 Hell yeah. See? That's from when he's fighting Deacon Frost. 157 00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:30,300 I don't know. Um, I-I thought it was cool. 158 00:06:30,310 --> 00:06:31,550 Okay. So... 159 00:06:31,570 --> 00:06:34,490 So? Oh. So, you dragged me to a fake restaurant, 160 00:06:34,510 --> 00:06:35,949 yelled at me for not doing what you wanted, 161 00:06:35,950 --> 00:06:37,450 then did something I told you not to, 162 00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:39,928 and it almost cost you your pud, but I saved your life, 163 00:06:39,929 --> 00:06:42,209 and now you're waiting for me to make you feel like shit about it. 164 00:06:42,210 --> 00:06:44,010 That's... Yeah, you nailed it. 165 00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:46,800 Morty, I'm sorry I let your opinion of me get this low. 166 00:06:46,810 --> 00:06:48,790 - All right, I get it. - There's nothing to get. 167 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,460 I'm for real. Look, I'm a drunk, I'm a psychopath, 168 00:06:51,470 --> 00:06:52,570 I'm a murderer, but... 169 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:54,539 - when you called me boring... - I shouldn't have. 170 00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:55,799 I needed to hear it. 171 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:58,230 And you took the stupid sword, and I was like, "Holy crap, 172 00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:59,450 this is who I am to this kid? 173 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,369 He just does the opposite of my advice now. 174 00:07:01,370 --> 00:07:02,850 I mean, I-I gotta fix that." 175 00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:05,870 So I'm gonna be, like, 22% more agreeable with you 176 00:07:05,890 --> 00:07:08,490 for, like, maybe one episode, or one adventure. 177 00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:10,780 - We'll see how it goes. - Is 22% a lot? 178 00:07:10,790 --> 00:07:11,829 Well, I-I'm not gonna tell you 179 00:07:11,830 --> 00:07:13,989 what percentage of our time together I'm usually mean to you 180 00:07:13,990 --> 00:07:15,389 because it'll hurt your stupid feelings, 181 00:07:15,390 --> 00:07:16,930 but 22% is substantial. 182 00:07:16,950 --> 00:07:18,189 You're gonna feel the difference. 183 00:07:18,190 --> 00:07:20,450 Okay. I mean, I-I appreciate it. 184 00:07:21,610 --> 00:07:23,789 You should, because you made a real mess with these guys. 185 00:07:23,790 --> 00:07:24,950 - Oh, man! - Sire. 186 00:07:24,970 --> 00:07:27,080 - You can't leave. - Go away! 187 00:07:27,950 --> 00:07:30,270 My king, it is our duty to follow you 188 00:07:30,290 --> 00:07:32,410 till the sun sets on our watch. 189 00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:35,990 I mean, it set yesterday, so you're done. Bye. 190 00:07:36,010 --> 00:07:39,051 Sire, the sun never sets on the Sun. 191 00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:40,270 Can you get rid of them? 192 00:07:40,290 --> 00:07:41,490 You want me to... 193 00:07:41,510 --> 00:07:44,250 Well... You guys know he can kill you, right? 194 00:07:44,270 --> 00:07:46,600 I think he'd find that quite difficult, sire, 195 00:07:46,610 --> 00:07:47,950 but if it pleases you. 196 00:07:47,970 --> 00:07:50,870 Can't I just tell you it pleases me for you to go away? 197 00:07:50,890 --> 00:07:52,030 No. Not really. 198 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,230 So you'd rather die than leave me alone? 199 00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:55,440 Yes. 200 00:08:01,810 --> 00:08:04,490 These guys live on our sun? I've never heard of them. 201 00:08:04,510 --> 00:08:07,070 I don't see them doing a lot to earn interplanetary fame. 202 00:08:07,090 --> 00:08:08,550 I beg your pardon, wizard. 203 00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:11,210 The Knights of the Sun protect the solar Scepter... 204 00:08:11,230 --> 00:08:13,570 around which even this world turns. 205 00:08:13,590 --> 00:08:16,120 You do mean that, like, symbolically, right? 206 00:08:16,130 --> 00:08:17,650 Oh, quite literally. 207 00:08:17,670 --> 00:08:19,850 The Scepter is the center of the solar system. 208 00:08:19,870 --> 00:08:22,390 All planets orbit it. We keep it on the Sun 209 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,222 so that Jupiter and Saturn don't bump into each other. 210 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,970 - Omigod. - They don't even know sixth grade science. 211 00:08:28,990 --> 00:08:30,220 That's it! 212 00:08:30,230 --> 00:08:31,870 - Yeah, so there you have it. 213 00:08:31,890 --> 00:08:32,900 Traditions suck ass, 214 00:08:32,910 --> 00:08:35,148 and your most foundational beliefs are total bullshit. 215 00:08:35,150 --> 00:08:37,370 We're supposed to take your word for it? 216 00:08:37,390 --> 00:08:40,250 Anyone can draw circles on a board and spout numbers. 217 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:43,170 Yes, this sounds like a fun theory, sire, 218 00:08:43,180 --> 00:08:45,249 but it would take more than this for us to give up... 219 00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:47,420 Okay, so how do you guys think it works again? 220 00:08:47,430 --> 00:08:49,830 - Well, the Scepter... - Oh, you mean this old thing? 221 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:51,190 - Gaaah! - You want it? 222 00:08:51,210 --> 00:08:52,320 Here. Take it back home. 223 00:08:52,330 --> 00:08:54,210 It's a symbol. It's your culture. 224 00:08:54,220 --> 00:08:56,128 That's not the same as reality. 225 00:08:56,130 --> 00:08:58,000 Does this mean we cut off our penises 226 00:08:58,010 --> 00:08:59,880 for absolutely no reason? 227 00:08:59,890 --> 00:09:00,900 That's the bad news. 228 00:09:00,910 --> 00:09:02,750 The good news is, you're free. 229 00:09:04,370 --> 00:09:06,350 - Ooh, that stings. - Fuck this knights shit. 230 00:09:06,370 --> 00:09:07,790 A query? 231 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:11,070 I just used your "computer phone" to search "despair." 232 00:09:11,090 --> 00:09:14,300 - Where can I get this heroin? - I'm not telling you that. 233 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,630 No matter. I'm seeing from most of your song lyrics 234 00:09:16,650 --> 00:09:18,060 that I can get it anywhere. 235 00:09:19,650 --> 00:09:24,070 Um, you guys, someone just used critical thinking and basic physics 236 00:09:24,090 --> 00:09:26,310 to destroy their first entire religion. 237 00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:27,900 - Nice. - Good job, Morty. 238 00:09:27,910 --> 00:09:29,950 - So no more sun-tourage? - Yep. All done. 239 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,690 Plus, Rick and I both learned to support each other better. 240 00:09:32,710 --> 00:09:34,708 So that's it. We're done. 241 00:09:34,710 --> 00:09:37,530 Feels early, but w-we're done. 242 00:09:37,550 --> 00:09:38,630 What's happening? 243 00:09:38,650 --> 00:09:40,755 Appliances are breaking that I haven't touched. 244 00:09:42,970 --> 00:09:44,920 Maybe the sun is... celebrating? 245 00:09:46,330 --> 00:09:50,090 Ha ha ha ha! The Sons of the Moon are storming the walkway. 246 00:09:50,100 --> 00:09:51,150 Doesn't matter. 247 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:52,509 Their aggression will be kept in check 248 00:09:52,510 --> 00:09:55,150 by a host of interplanetary treaties and alliances. 249 00:09:55,170 --> 00:09:56,170 It's very complicated, 250 00:09:56,190 --> 00:09:58,229 but as long as The Knights of the Sun stand together, 251 00:09:58,230 --> 00:10:01,490 the solar system will always have complete political stability. 252 00:10:01,510 --> 00:10:03,370 Where are the Knights of the Sun, by the way? 253 00:10:03,390 --> 00:10:04,830 I'm done pooping. 254 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:05,850 Hmm? 255 00:10:05,870 --> 00:10:10,100 Did the, uh, Knights of the Sun... disband? 256 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,000 While I was pooping? 257 00:10:12,010 --> 00:10:13,990 Sunnnn-kward. 258 00:10:18,510 --> 00:10:21,370 How many planets in our solar system have these clowns? 259 00:10:21,390 --> 00:10:23,600 I guess if the sun can support life, any planet can. 260 00:10:23,610 --> 00:10:26,050 I mean, maybe we all descended from a common ancestor. 261 00:10:26,070 --> 00:10:28,090 Haven't you seen, like, all of the universes? 262 00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:30,010 Exactly. So why would I hang out on Pluto? 263 00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:31,599 That's some Jerry-league shit. 264 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,310 If the Sons of the Moon can attack the sun, 265 00:10:34,330 --> 00:10:36,450 why should the Viscounts of Venus continue sitting 266 00:10:36,460 --> 00:10:38,980 - in Saturn's shadow? - How's this for a reason? 267 00:10:38,990 --> 00:10:42,067 We got all the rings and all the balls. 268 00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:43,190 - Oh, fuck you. - Really? 269 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:46,790 If the Saturno Venusian détente is no longer honored, 270 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,670 I declare you all moons of Jupiter. 271 00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:52,410 Because that's what you are to us! A bunch of moons! 272 00:10:52,430 --> 00:10:56,110 Do the Knights of the Sun plan to protect Mercury from this chaos? 273 00:10:56,130 --> 00:10:57,650 Because if we're on our own, 274 00:10:57,660 --> 00:11:00,627 there's a new, very tiny sun in town. 275 00:11:04,140 --> 00:11:06,070 It's all you, pal. 276 00:11:06,090 --> 00:11:07,430 Um, hello? 277 00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:10,971 Don't I have, like, authority over this Sons of the Moon meeting? 278 00:11:10,980 --> 00:11:13,056 That all depends. Who the hell are you? 279 00:11:13,060 --> 00:11:14,570 This guy's the king of the Sun. 280 00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,393 - Holy shit. - When did this happen? 281 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,895 Ha! Then tell your knights to do their jobs. 282 00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:20,490 Yes, Your Majesty. 283 00:11:20,510 --> 00:11:22,530 We all know the Sun's power lives 284 00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:24,170 and dies with your knights. 285 00:11:24,190 --> 00:11:27,610 - Who are you? - Who am... Who... 286 00:11:27,630 --> 00:11:29,570 I am the Marquis of Mars! 287 00:11:29,580 --> 00:11:31,850 And I declare war on all of you! 288 00:11:31,870 --> 00:11:33,410 War on all of you! 289 00:11:33,430 --> 00:11:36,750 Where are the Knights of the Sun when we need them most? 290 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:38,050 Funny you should ask, uh... 291 00:11:38,070 --> 00:11:40,330 They're gone! 292 00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:42,450 They've abandoned their duties. 293 00:11:42,470 --> 00:11:44,120 I see it in the bones. 294 00:11:44,130 --> 00:11:45,530 Damn, the bones nailed it. 295 00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:48,130 Okay, so you have space ships and magic ladies? 296 00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:49,770 Look, I'm not gonna read all the books. 297 00:11:49,790 --> 00:11:53,010 What will it take to let this Sons of the Moon fiasco resolve itself? 298 00:11:53,030 --> 00:11:56,090 Excuse me. How did you become king of the Sun? 299 00:11:56,110 --> 00:11:57,640 You look like an Earthling. 300 00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:59,352 - Santa? - Santa? 301 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:00,500 What the hell is that? 302 00:12:00,510 --> 00:12:02,522 I'm the Earl of Earth, god damn it. 303 00:12:02,530 --> 00:12:04,570 I agree with Earth on one thing... 304 00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:07,480 Venus questions the legitimacy of this king's authority. 305 00:12:07,490 --> 00:12:09,970 My people say I say aye. 306 00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,150 I'm the king. 307 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,619 - I've got the Scepter right here. - What the fuck? 308 00:12:13,620 --> 00:12:15,610 Yeah, yeah, I know you're freaking out 309 00:12:15,630 --> 00:12:16,780 because it's not on the sun. 310 00:12:16,790 --> 00:12:20,610 No, because whoever has it rules the solar system! 311 00:12:20,620 --> 00:12:22,208 It's up for grabs! Get it! 312 00:12:22,210 --> 00:12:23,610 After it! 313 00:12:23,630 --> 00:12:24,730 Ahhhh! 314 00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:26,650 Yes, yes. I have the Scepter. 315 00:12:26,670 --> 00:12:28,260 Soon Jupiter will be the center 316 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,710 of our solar system's newest dark ages. 317 00:12:30,732 --> 00:12:34,610 Fuck that. Mercury will now be the shining beacon of... 318 00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:37,090 Time to throw it all against the wall. 319 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:38,949 I think you crushed it. 320 00:12:38,950 --> 00:12:41,550 I mean, not just anybody can start Solar War One. 321 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,630 - Stop supporting me. - Can do. 322 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,069 Damn, who would have thought giving the Amish nukes 323 00:14:19,070 --> 00:14:20,600 would threaten the solar system? 324 00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,287 Maybe we should just jump universes. 325 00:14:22,290 --> 00:14:23,300 I don't know, buddy. 326 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:26,330 Feels like we're kind of more about trying out commitment now, ya know? 327 00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:27,409 Let's put our heads together. 328 00:14:27,410 --> 00:14:28,769 Maybe there's something we haven't tried yet. 329 00:14:28,770 --> 00:14:30,837 - Oh, here's an idea. Fuck you! - Hey! 330 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:31,910 Rick, I can't take it. 331 00:14:31,930 --> 00:14:33,510 I admit I'm wrong, I screwed up. 332 00:14:33,530 --> 00:14:35,450 You're killing me here yes-and'ing me to death. 333 00:14:35,470 --> 00:14:37,650 What is this, "Vat of Acid" again? 334 00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:39,790 Look, man, I'm sorry I've been such a dick in the past 335 00:14:39,810 --> 00:14:41,347 that you think I'm doing a thing here. 336 00:14:41,350 --> 00:14:43,950 I'm honestly just trying to do better by you. 337 00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,250 Are you a robot? 338 00:14:45,270 --> 00:14:46,280 - Morty! - A clone? 339 00:14:46,290 --> 00:14:48,769 Morty, this family's got enough clones and robots in it. 340 00:14:48,770 --> 00:14:50,559 Come on, Morty, stop asking what you're asking 341 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,150 and let's just get back to our crisis. 342 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:55,069 I'm sorry. It's just been a hard road with you, Rick. 343 00:14:55,070 --> 00:14:56,760 Morty, I get that, but you can trust me 344 00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,650 when I say I'm just trying to do right by you. 345 00:14:58,660 --> 00:15:01,650 Okay, Rick. You're right. Maybe... 346 00:15:01,670 --> 00:15:04,037 maybe I just need to round up some Knights. 347 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:05,650 If I disillusioned the old ones, 348 00:15:05,660 --> 00:15:07,530 I'll just have to re-illusion them. 349 00:15:07,550 --> 00:15:09,250 It shouldn't be that hard, right? 350 00:15:15,930 --> 00:15:18,870 Cousins, we need to return to the walkway at once. 351 00:15:21,270 --> 00:15:23,389 Why are you laughing? Did I say something funny? 352 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:24,890 Oh, Mortaniel. 353 00:15:24,910 --> 00:15:27,130 The only person we bend the knee to these days 354 00:15:27,150 --> 00:15:28,520 is that sweet Black Betty. 355 00:15:28,530 --> 00:15:31,280 Yeah, man, all hail Mr. Brownstone. 356 00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:33,942 And his doctor. Feelgood, that is. 357 00:15:33,950 --> 00:15:36,310 They're talking about heroin, Morty. They like it. 358 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,029 - Obviously. - Obviously? 359 00:15:38,030 --> 00:15:39,300 Apparently living on the Sun 360 00:15:39,310 --> 00:15:42,010 has turned our veins into triple-bonded carbon, 361 00:15:42,030 --> 00:15:44,350 so try this tale on for size, Mortaniel... 362 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,745 we can't OD! 363 00:15:45,750 --> 00:15:47,420 C'mon, you guys are a mess. 364 00:15:47,430 --> 00:15:49,320 Well, they actually seem kinda awesome, Morty. 365 00:15:49,330 --> 00:15:50,450 Lemme be your king. 366 00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:52,460 I admit, I wanted what you once had... 367 00:15:52,470 --> 00:15:55,010 brotherhood, tradition, stability, purpose. 368 00:15:55,030 --> 00:15:57,550 I just... didn't want to cut my dick off for it. 369 00:15:57,570 --> 00:15:58,839 Yeah, that's the point. 370 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,890 We were quick to follow this boy before, 371 00:16:00,910 --> 00:16:03,570 without even forcing him to commit to our traditions. 372 00:16:03,590 --> 00:16:06,850 And all he did was break our faith and our walkway. 373 00:16:06,870 --> 00:16:10,190 And now this random fucking guy is here again 374 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,590 to tell us what to do? 375 00:16:11,610 --> 00:16:13,106 No fucking way! 376 00:16:14,050 --> 00:16:15,520 What if I cut off my dick? 377 00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:19,130 But you'd be cutting it off for no reason. 378 00:16:19,150 --> 00:16:20,850 Yeah, that's the point of tradition... 379 00:16:20,870 --> 00:16:22,450 doing things for no reason, 380 00:16:22,460 --> 00:16:25,790 but it'd be reason enough doing it for you guys. 381 00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:29,290 Well, you do that, that would compete with heroin. 382 00:16:29,310 --> 00:16:32,041 Cool, cool. Can I maybe get a minute? 383 00:16:33,070 --> 00:16:34,410 Buddy, what's up? 384 00:16:34,430 --> 00:16:36,950 Reaching some sad conclusions about your situation? 385 00:16:36,970 --> 00:16:38,950 Yes, but that walkway needs those knights, 386 00:16:38,970 --> 00:16:41,759 those knights need a king, and that king needs no dick. 387 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,180 Damn, Morty, you really are stepping up. 388 00:16:44,190 --> 00:16:45,860 Now do you want me to help you 389 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,189 not have to cut your dick off, though? 390 00:16:47,190 --> 00:16:49,225 - Yes, please. - Then I got you. 391 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,643 Uh, you really mean it, Rick? 392 00:16:50,650 --> 00:16:52,600 Of course, buddy. I'll give you a fake dick 393 00:16:52,610 --> 00:16:53,970 with three layers of fail-safes. 394 00:16:53,990 --> 00:16:56,151 They'll never know the difference. 395 00:16:56,152 --> 00:16:59,652 Shh, Morty. We're gonna make your dick so fake, buddy. 396 00:17:06,910 --> 00:17:09,730 The signal! Sir, the Knights of the Sun are once more. 397 00:17:09,750 --> 00:17:13,100 Hold fire. If this return to the Old Ways is true, 398 00:17:13,110 --> 00:17:16,390 I'd be willing to return home and put an end to the bloodshed. 399 00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:33,110 Sir? Shall we hold off on the antimatter hydrogen bombing? 400 00:17:33,130 --> 00:17:36,140 Those crusty knights won't do the Sun much good 401 00:17:36,150 --> 00:17:37,330 without their... Hoo! 402 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:39,942 Let's hear them out. 403 00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:44,290 I, Lithdor, son of Thrifdor, 404 00:17:44,310 --> 00:17:47,200 personally oversee the stumping of thy king's stem. 405 00:17:47,210 --> 00:17:49,420 If his stem burns true, 406 00:17:49,430 --> 00:17:52,290 peace will be restored between the spheres. 407 00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:54,457 Yay! 408 00:17:56,300 --> 00:17:58,961 Present the Shears of Stumping! 409 00:17:58,970 --> 00:18:01,830 - Morty the Brave! - You got this, my king! 410 00:18:04,910 --> 00:18:06,210 First things first. 411 00:18:06,220 --> 00:18:07,290 Step through this machine 412 00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:10,050 which checks for nanotechnological hologram dicks. 413 00:18:10,070 --> 00:18:11,655 - What? - War opened our eyes 414 00:18:11,656 --> 00:18:13,810 to the wonders of new technologies. 415 00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:16,020 Please, step through, my liege. 416 00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:23,900 Whew! 417 00:18:23,910 --> 00:18:24,910 Sorry, my lord, 418 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,289 but we're gonna need you to step through this second machine, 419 00:18:27,290 --> 00:18:29,680 which checks for emergency clone dicks. 420 00:18:29,690 --> 00:18:33,710 Oh, wow, you guys really embraced a lot of specific new tech, huh? 421 00:18:33,730 --> 00:18:36,240 - Whoa, a sunspot! - What? Where? 422 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:41,750 Boy, is... is that a third detector I see, as well? 423 00:18:41,770 --> 00:18:43,610 You'll find out after the second one. 424 00:18:43,630 --> 00:18:44,739 We don't like to reveal them 425 00:18:44,740 --> 00:18:47,570 until the previous detecting threshold has been crossed. 426 00:18:47,590 --> 00:18:48,770 Right. 427 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:53,650 The third detector is going to scan for a prosthetic dick. 428 00:18:53,670 --> 00:18:56,290 - Oh. Ha ha. Good. - Okay, well, go on through, 429 00:18:56,310 --> 00:18:59,960 and, of course, by "prosthetic" we mean witchcraft dick. 430 00:18:59,970 --> 00:19:01,023 - Shit. - Fuck! 431 00:19:01,030 --> 00:19:02,050 I sense one. 432 00:19:02,060 --> 00:19:04,830 The bones say he's still packin'. 433 00:19:06,740 --> 00:19:09,430 Ha ha, can't get nothin' past the chicken bone lady. 434 00:19:09,450 --> 00:19:11,100 J-Just testing her. 435 00:19:11,110 --> 00:19:14,078 Stump. Thy. Stem. 436 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,590 Morty? Morty, don't answer out loud. 437 00:19:17,610 --> 00:19:20,270 Can you hear me? It's Rick. I'm talking to you with my mind. 438 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,129 - Yeah, I can hear you. - You said that out loud. 439 00:19:22,130 --> 00:19:23,880 - Don't speak. - Sorry. Sorry. 440 00:19:23,890 --> 00:19:25,830 I uplinked a telepathic nano satellite 441 00:19:25,850 --> 00:19:27,259 so we could hear each other's thoughts. 442 00:19:27,260 --> 00:19:29,060 Carefully do everything I tell you 443 00:19:29,070 --> 00:19:31,110 in the exact order I tell you to do it. 444 00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:33,020 - Okay. - Grab the scissors. 445 00:19:33,030 --> 00:19:35,308 Okay. Got the scissors. 446 00:19:35,310 --> 00:19:36,642 Now... run! 447 00:19:36,650 --> 00:19:39,312 - Oh, shit, shit! - Guards, seize them! 448 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:41,049 Run? You couldn't have just said that? 449 00:19:41,050 --> 00:19:42,359 You don't have to use telepathy anymore. 450 00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:44,590 You can just ask your rhetorical questions out loud. 451 00:19:44,630 --> 00:19:45,770 I don't understand, Rick. 452 00:19:45,780 --> 00:19:47,950 Here's something that's easy to understand, buddy... 453 00:19:47,970 --> 00:19:50,410 I'm proud of you for trying to solve your own shit. 454 00:19:50,430 --> 00:19:52,074 Ugh, I didn't want to have to do this. 455 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:55,210 It's okay this time. We don't have any choice. 456 00:19:55,220 --> 00:19:57,497 - I love you, Rick. - Love you, too, buddy. 457 00:20:00,250 --> 00:20:02,210 Whoooooaaa! 458 00:20:03,130 --> 00:20:05,160 And that's when King Morty and Rick 459 00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:07,920 were left with no choice but to leap into the Sun. 460 00:20:07,930 --> 00:20:11,050 Such shame he felt for what he'd done to our society, 461 00:20:11,070 --> 00:20:13,010 sacrificing his dick wasn't enough... 462 00:20:13,030 --> 00:20:16,670 He gave his entire body and wizard servant, as well. 463 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:20,450 And after a while, their sun-proof bones floated up to the top. 464 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:23,740 We even checked with a royal ladle to ensure it was real sun, 465 00:20:23,750 --> 00:20:26,526 not just them hiding beneath in a vat of fake sun. 466 00:20:26,530 --> 00:20:28,510 Such a violent death. 467 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:31,130 And finally when our grief could bear no more, 468 00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:34,750 we decided to abolish our medieval act of stem stumping. 469 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:38,230 And we have King Morty the Molten to thank for that. 470 00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:39,660 Morty the Molten! 471 00:20:39,670 --> 00:20:41,460 King Morty the Molten! 472 00:20:41,470 --> 00:20:43,170 See, Morty? Worked like a charm. 473 00:20:43,190 --> 00:20:45,430 Aren't we risking it all coming back here? 474 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,090 Morty, we had to know. Plus the heat... 475 00:20:47,110 --> 00:20:49,670 - It's good for my joints. - King Mortaniel? 476 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:50,800 You're alive? 477 00:20:50,810 --> 00:20:51,970 Yeah, go tell everybody. 478 00:20:51,990 --> 00:20:54,010 Your reward's gonna be cutting off your own dick. 479 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,770 Right. Point taken. 480 00:20:56,790 --> 00:20:58,810 R.I.P. and cheerio. 481 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,686 Whew! 482 00:21:01,690 --> 00:21:07,191 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 483 00:21:34,010 --> 00:21:35,580 One crispy, one wriggling. 484 00:21:35,590 --> 00:21:37,763 Coming right up. Three loozums. 485 00:21:37,770 --> 00:21:40,516 - How 'bout ten years? In jail. - Huh? 486 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,350 Special Agent Mongo Bongo. 487 00:21:42,370 --> 00:21:45,120 You're under arrest for illegal hot dog trafficking. 488 00:21:46,147 --> 00:21:47,648 Oh! 489 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:03,539 Be free, my little babies. Ahh! 490 00:22:03,540 --> 00:22:04,730 Huh. 491 00:22:04,750 --> 00:22:06,640 Surprised they actually made it. 492 00:22:06,650 --> 00:22:09,378 Kinda thought maybe some birds would swoop down... 493 00:22:09,380 --> 00:22:10,770 Aaahhhhh! Aah! 494 00:22:10,790 --> 00:22:12,965 I jinxed it. Aah! 495 00:22:14,470 --> 00:22:15,968 Did you get any of that?