1 00:00:09,585 --> 00:00:11,671 Who's ready for rick's famous spaghetti? 2 00:00:13,005 --> 00:00:15,174 - I love Spaghetti Thursdays! - Oh my god Rick, 3 00:00:15,258 --> 00:00:18,094 - it's like it's better every time. - Hell yeah, you like that? 4 00:00:18,177 --> 00:00:19,762 That's…a some good spaghetti! 5 00:00:19,846 --> 00:00:22,014 Grandpa Rick, I'm skull emoji but words. 6 00:00:22,098 --> 00:00:24,475 Sauce? More sauce? We gots the sauce. 7 00:00:24,559 --> 00:00:26,435 Dad, you had a job interview, right? 8 00:00:26,519 --> 00:00:29,939 Bombed it. But it's nothing a little bolognese won't cure. 9 00:00:30,022 --> 00:00:31,858 Dad, this noodle is so tender. 10 00:00:31,941 --> 00:00:35,361 A little spicy, a little sweet. A little spicy, a little sweet. 11 00:00:35,444 --> 00:00:36,612 It's so nice that we're talking, 12 00:00:36,696 --> 00:00:39,365 you know, all talking because we're a family and everything, 13 00:00:39,448 --> 00:00:40,658 and this a good time we're having. 14 00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:43,077 - Is there any more? - Seconds? Thirds? 15 00:00:43,161 --> 00:00:45,705 We spa-gots as much as you can spag-eat! 16 00:00:46,789 --> 00:00:49,500 Rick, I gotta know, like, what's the secret ingredient? 17 00:00:49,834 --> 00:00:52,170 God no. Why? Why? No. 18 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:55,506 Why is it always this shit with you? Of course it's a person. 19 00:00:55,590 --> 00:00:57,300 Rick, why couldn't it just be spaghetti? 20 00:01:31,667 --> 00:01:33,628 I'm just going to say this as simply as possible 21 00:01:33,711 --> 00:01:35,546 and let you not believe me, on this planet, 22 00:01:35,630 --> 00:01:37,548 people that kill themselves turn into spaghetti. 23 00:01:37,632 --> 00:01:39,842 - What? - I know, you're a visual learner, 24 00:01:39,926 --> 00:01:40,926 so follow me. 25 00:01:43,221 --> 00:01:46,307 Hi, Doctor Hotpenis, you're not supposed to bring patients… 26 00:01:46,390 --> 00:01:49,977 Hi, Michael, it's okay, this alien boy has space cancer 27 00:01:50,061 --> 00:01:53,314 and his dying wish is to see deader people so he can feel superior. 28 00:01:53,397 --> 00:01:54,397 All you had to say. 29 00:01:55,858 --> 00:01:57,276 Check it out. Murdered. 30 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:58,360 Gross. 31 00:01:59,195 --> 00:02:00,195 Car crash. 32 00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:03,783 - And suicide. - Rick, I don't… 33 00:02:04,533 --> 00:02:06,410 Wait, what is that smell? 34 00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:08,871 You know god damn well what it is, baby. Get in here. 35 00:02:08,955 --> 00:02:10,081 Don't do that! 36 00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:12,208 You've been doing it for weeks every spaghetti night. 37 00:02:12,291 --> 00:02:13,793 Come on, Morty. Choo choo plane! 38 00:02:13,876 --> 00:02:14,877 - Gross. - Come on! 39 00:02:15,962 --> 00:02:18,130 - God damn. - Telling you. 40 00:02:18,214 --> 00:02:19,215 Why? How? 41 00:02:19,298 --> 00:02:21,968 Their cortisol increases the starch content in their bloodstream, 42 00:02:22,051 --> 00:02:24,470 changing their intestines into one long spaghetti noodle, 43 00:02:24,553 --> 00:02:27,139 and the surrounding tissues into a spicy sweet hematoma 44 00:02:27,223 --> 00:02:28,516 that we would call a bolognese. 45 00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:32,478 But it takes a lot of cortisol. Like a suicidal amount. 46 00:02:32,561 --> 00:02:33,813 It's almost better cold. 47 00:02:33,896 --> 00:02:35,606 Wouldn't go that far, don't be a hipster. 48 00:02:35,690 --> 00:02:36,690 Excuse me. 49 00:02:36,941 --> 00:02:40,569 - Are you two eating a corpse? - It's okay! It's spaghetti. 50 00:02:40,653 --> 00:02:42,905 - Morty, they don't know what that is. - I'm calling the police! 51 00:02:42,989 --> 00:02:44,824 - Before you do that, just… - No, Rick, stop! 52 00:02:45,241 --> 00:02:47,952 - What? Where am I? - In a morgue, eating bodies. 53 00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:49,495 - We're what? - Stop using that thing! 54 00:02:49,578 --> 00:02:50,705 What thing? Who are we? 55 00:02:50,788 --> 00:02:52,665 - We were just leaving. - All you had to say. 56 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,876 Whose car is this? Whose sun visor is this? What's a sun? 57 00:02:56,919 --> 00:02:59,505 Jesus, sorry, that's always embarrassing. 58 00:03:00,798 --> 00:03:01,924 But you see what I mean now? 59 00:03:02,008 --> 00:03:04,593 Best spaghetti in the galaxy and it's a hundred percent guilt-free. 60 00:03:04,677 --> 00:03:05,886 I wanna know their names. 61 00:03:05,970 --> 00:03:07,847 Who? Michael? Coroner Number One? 62 00:03:07,930 --> 00:03:09,890 The people we've been eating every spaghetti night! 63 00:03:09,974 --> 00:03:11,225 Do you even know their names? 64 00:03:11,309 --> 00:03:13,185 I'm not giving you your spaghettises' names! 65 00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,688 You've found my line, Morty, I find that ghoulish. 66 00:03:15,771 --> 00:03:18,899 I want their names or I'm telling Mom and no more spaghetti night. 67 00:03:18,983 --> 00:03:21,277 You suck! Where's the thing? Where's the Men in Black thing? 68 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:22,138 Names! 69 00:03:22,153 --> 00:03:24,488 And if you know the fucking names of your spaghettis, that's it? 70 00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:25,865 - This is done? - It's all I ask! 71 00:03:25,948 --> 00:03:27,742 You won't get overwhelmed with even more guilt 72 00:03:27,825 --> 00:03:29,285 and then demand to go to their fucking funeral? 73 00:03:29,368 --> 00:03:30,536 Just their names and then I'm done. 74 00:03:30,953 --> 00:03:31,953 I promise. 75 00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:36,542 - I fucking hate you. - I just want to pay my respects. 76 00:03:36,625 --> 00:03:38,127 The only reason you're still alive 77 00:03:38,210 --> 00:03:40,379 is because you don't turn delicious when you die. 78 00:03:45,468 --> 00:03:47,261 Thank you for that moment of silence. 79 00:03:47,803 --> 00:03:49,972 I'd like to open it up to the congregation, 80 00:03:50,056 --> 00:03:52,850 if anyone would like to say a few words about Lawrence… 81 00:03:59,357 --> 00:04:01,984 Or another moment of silence. 82 00:04:02,068 --> 00:04:03,694 Jeez, no wonder he killed himself. 83 00:04:04,236 --> 00:04:05,236 Okay let's… 84 00:04:06,197 --> 00:04:07,239 - For… - Hi. 85 00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,910 I just want to be honest about something. 86 00:04:11,410 --> 00:04:12,828 After Lawrence died, 87 00:04:12,912 --> 00:04:13,912 we… 88 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:15,622 …ate him. 89 00:04:16,248 --> 00:04:19,251 Wait, we're not… werewolves or anything, 90 00:04:19,335 --> 00:04:23,172 we come from a planet, where to us, when you guys kill yourselves, 91 00:04:23,255 --> 00:04:25,549 you turn into what my planet considers food. 92 00:04:26,217 --> 00:04:27,218 Spaghetti. 93 00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:28,636 It brought us together. 94 00:04:29,261 --> 00:04:31,138 Lawrence. Brought us together. 95 00:04:31,597 --> 00:04:33,891 It just felt wrong not having anyone know that. 96 00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:35,684 But he was delicious. 97 00:04:36,060 --> 00:04:38,020 I hope that helps make it right. 98 00:04:40,564 --> 00:04:43,442 That should do it, buddy. Everybody enjoy your closure. 99 00:04:45,694 --> 00:04:48,406 So we were eating people. 100 00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:49,949 I'm afraid so. 101 00:04:50,032 --> 00:04:52,326 They were so… spaghettesque. 102 00:04:53,035 --> 00:04:54,120 Yes, they were. 103 00:04:54,453 --> 00:04:56,622 It's going to be… hard to… 104 00:04:56,705 --> 00:04:58,374 Hard to put out of your mind, yes, 105 00:04:58,457 --> 00:05:00,793 which is why I thought it best to keep you all in the dark. 106 00:05:00,876 --> 00:05:03,671 So… Morty ruined spaghetti night. 107 00:05:03,754 --> 00:05:05,589 - Correct. - Summer, it was people! 108 00:05:05,673 --> 00:05:08,801 It was people, Summer. Which is disgusting. 109 00:05:08,884 --> 00:05:10,678 And not cool to lie about. 110 00:05:10,761 --> 00:05:11,761 Correct. 111 00:05:12,054 --> 00:05:15,599 But. It should also be noted, to Morty, that it's not cool to tattle. 112 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,226 - Dad! - They were delicious. 113 00:05:17,309 --> 00:05:19,311 - So keep eating them! - We can't now! 114 00:05:19,395 --> 00:05:20,688 Because of you! Sorry. 115 00:05:21,063 --> 00:05:23,441 Morty. That was terrible parenting. 116 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:26,485 You did the quote unquote right thing. 117 00:05:26,569 --> 00:05:29,780 We are technically very happy to be better informed. 118 00:05:29,864 --> 00:05:31,407 First octopus, now this. 119 00:05:31,490 --> 00:05:34,869 Have we thought about just giving up and joining the fascist half of the country? 120 00:05:34,952 --> 00:05:37,079 - No! - Just saying, they get to do more. 121 00:05:37,163 --> 00:05:40,332 Well, I guess I'll go to my room since everyone hates me now. 122 00:05:42,334 --> 00:05:45,504 - Sorry. Good night, Morty. - Goodnight, Morty. 123 00:05:47,089 --> 00:05:51,552 Hey, big boy. Are you depressed? Mama likes depression. 124 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:58,225 I spilled my milk. Now we're both sad. I'm a bad family therapist farm girl. 125 00:06:00,269 --> 00:06:05,065 Hello, Morty Smith. You are invited to 41-Kepler B. 126 00:06:05,149 --> 00:06:07,193 You know it as Spaghetti Planet. 127 00:06:07,526 --> 00:06:09,904 You're not in trouble. We just want to talk. 128 00:06:10,821 --> 00:06:12,448 Can that thing support my weight? 129 00:06:12,781 --> 00:06:13,781 It should. 130 00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:15,785 Okay… 131 00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:17,453 …up here? 132 00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,706 Geez. Ever heard of a ramp? 133 00:06:20,789 --> 00:06:21,916 This is a ramp. 134 00:06:25,628 --> 00:06:28,255 Hi, Morty, I'm the president of this planet. 135 00:06:28,339 --> 00:06:30,174 I saw the video of you at that funeral. 136 00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:31,842 - I'm sorry. - Don't be. 137 00:06:31,926 --> 00:06:34,053 It was quite the revelation. 138 00:06:34,637 --> 00:06:36,889 Would you mind showing us? 139 00:06:37,556 --> 00:06:41,060 This is the "spaghetti" of a person that took their own life. 140 00:06:41,644 --> 00:06:42,811 They did consent to be eaten. 141 00:06:43,562 --> 00:06:44,562 Okay. 142 00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:52,905 Wow, yeah, amazing as always. Not gonna lie. 143 00:06:52,988 --> 00:06:55,991 And would you consider yourself a typical Earthian? 144 00:06:56,617 --> 00:07:00,829 Well, on Earth, it's considered inferior to be typical so 145 00:07:00,913 --> 00:07:04,792 we're all very special and different but we definitely all do like spaghetti. 146 00:07:04,875 --> 00:07:07,253 All eight billion of you. 147 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:11,507 Morty, how would you feel about being a kind of ambassador? 148 00:07:11,590 --> 00:07:13,425 A liaison between our worlds. 149 00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:17,513 Now hold on. I went to that funeral because… 150 00:07:17,596 --> 00:07:20,933 Because you felt bad. Because you didn't have permission. 151 00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:22,308 Show him. 152 00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,229 My name is Tanya Radcliffe. 153 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:28,232 I've been living in pain for years, 154 00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:31,860 I've lost all my loved ones, I've got nothing. 155 00:07:32,528 --> 00:07:36,574 So when doctors told me I could finally have the "right to die" 156 00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:39,410 if I agree to be dinner for some alien boy, 157 00:07:40,035 --> 00:07:43,831 I simply said, "I hope I'm delicious." 158 00:07:45,416 --> 00:07:46,416 God damn. 159 00:07:46,709 --> 00:07:49,378 And would you say that makes it taste better? 160 00:07:50,045 --> 00:07:52,172 It makes it go down a lot easier. 161 00:07:52,256 --> 00:07:53,340 I like that. 162 00:07:54,216 --> 00:07:58,304 Maybe it's time we allow some people the right to die and be delicious. 163 00:07:58,387 --> 00:08:00,306 Please feel free to finish Tanya. 164 00:08:00,389 --> 00:08:03,225 - It is what she wanted. - No. No I think I'm good. 165 00:08:03,309 --> 00:08:06,228 Thanks. Tanya, you really were tasty. 166 00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:12,359 Actually, can I take her to go? 167 00:08:12,735 --> 00:08:15,321 Who's ready for more ethical spaghetti? 168 00:08:15,404 --> 00:08:17,156 Me. I love this ethical shit. 169 00:08:17,239 --> 00:08:19,116 Full admission, I was fine before to. 170 00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:22,077 God this is so good! Pass the Parmesan! 171 00:08:22,161 --> 00:08:24,622 Where's Dad? Why does he keep missing spaghetti night? 172 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,874 I guess he got butthurt because Morty high-roaded him 173 00:08:26,957 --> 00:08:30,252 and got us the delicious spaghetti without all the lies and nihilism. 174 00:08:30,336 --> 00:08:33,464 And another cheer for the added bonus of no Rick… 175 00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:34,491 Boom. 176 00:08:34,506 --> 00:08:36,800 Sorry to interrupt Morty's perfect spaghetti night, 177 00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:39,303 - but thought he'd wanna see this. - What the fuck is that? 178 00:08:39,845 --> 00:08:44,558 "Morty-O's Suicide Spaghetti is 100% ethical, single-origin pasta." 179 00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,018 Oh dear God. 180 00:08:46,101 --> 00:08:47,978 Lemme guess, you went back to the planet, 181 00:08:48,062 --> 00:08:50,064 gave some thoughtful insight to their leader, 182 00:08:50,147 --> 00:08:52,483 and now they're selling their dead at every Space Walmart. 183 00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,693 I did, but I didn't say to do this. 184 00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:56,695 Is this people, or not people? 185 00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,907 I just need to know how much I should pretend to be upset. 186 00:08:59,990 --> 00:09:01,742 This seems to be 'Roger.' 187 00:09:02,326 --> 00:09:05,287 Hi. I'm Roger Wayne Marder. I was a serial killer and cannibal, 188 00:09:05,371 --> 00:09:07,498 and now I get to kill myself and be food for you, 189 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:10,042 which I suppose is a silver lining to all my misdeeds. 190 00:09:10,501 --> 00:09:11,585 Anyway, please enjoy me. 191 00:09:13,629 --> 00:09:15,381 So "yes" to people? 192 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:18,217 I mean, on the bright side, 193 00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:21,345 I feel like one could look at this as a really nice epilogue 194 00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:23,055 to a story about telling the truth. 195 00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:25,557 Care to see that epilogue? 196 00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,312 What is all this… 197 00:09:30,396 --> 00:09:32,898 Cans of spaghetti selling out to every neighboring planet. 198 00:09:33,232 --> 00:09:35,109 Wanna go see how ethical it is down there? 199 00:09:37,152 --> 00:09:38,529 This is Spaghetti Planet? 200 00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,572 - What happened? - You happened. 201 00:09:40,656 --> 00:09:42,866 You happened all over those billboards. 202 00:09:43,534 --> 00:09:45,327 Oh jeez, oh no. 203 00:09:45,411 --> 00:09:48,122 See that, they call that bridge "The Most Scenic Jump". 204 00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:50,082 There used to be safety rails, 205 00:09:50,165 --> 00:09:52,584 they melted them down for giant spaghetti strainers. 206 00:09:53,085 --> 00:09:56,088 - You wanna turn on the radio? - I get it, it's all Enya. 207 00:09:56,171 --> 00:09:59,550 Nope, all morning Zoo teams. Just patter. No songs. 208 00:10:00,008 --> 00:10:01,135 Oh and for TV? 209 00:10:01,218 --> 00:10:04,263 Wall-to-wall reality television, but not the good kind. 210 00:10:04,346 --> 00:10:06,348 It's like their whole planet was bought by Discovery. 211 00:10:06,432 --> 00:10:08,267 Jesus Christ, this is depressing. 212 00:10:08,350 --> 00:10:10,102 That's definitely what they're going for. 213 00:10:10,185 --> 00:10:13,355 Look at this shit! They dyed their sun institutional grey. 214 00:10:13,731 --> 00:10:15,315 That's not easy, kinda impressed. 215 00:10:15,941 --> 00:10:17,651 And all of it is thanks to. 216 00:10:18,193 --> 00:10:20,904 Oh god. I'm a murderer. 217 00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:24,575 Oh no, Morty. What you did was much more indirect. 218 00:10:25,909 --> 00:10:28,412 I understand your concerns, but look around. 219 00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,914 With what's coming in from intergalactic spaghetti trade, 220 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:34,460 we've decreased our debt, are making a lot of money. 221 00:10:36,712 --> 00:10:37,838 We've got clean energy… 222 00:10:37,921 --> 00:10:40,591 That space where you paused is where you should have said "mental healthcare." 223 00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:43,510 Alright, we had to put our fingers on the scale, a little. 224 00:10:43,886 --> 00:10:48,140 But if we stop this, the supply chain crumbles and kills the global economy. 225 00:10:48,557 --> 00:10:50,350 How many people will suffer then? 226 00:10:50,434 --> 00:10:53,812 Okay, tough problem, definitely a spicy meat-a-ball. 227 00:10:54,313 --> 00:10:55,898 But we can fix it. Right, Rick? 228 00:10:55,981 --> 00:10:58,442 - You mean me. You want me to fix it. - A moment? 229 00:10:59,318 --> 00:11:00,736 Yes, I want you to fix it. 230 00:11:00,819 --> 00:11:03,113 None of this would have happened if you'd been honest about the spaghetti. 231 00:11:03,197 --> 00:11:06,158 Morty, I lied to protect you, you told the truth to hurt me. 232 00:11:06,241 --> 00:11:07,659 I can't travel the galaxy with you 233 00:11:07,743 --> 00:11:10,412 if every time we come near a fucked-up system you leap into its wires 234 00:11:10,496 --> 00:11:11,496 and electrocute yourself. 235 00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:12,873 I promise to stop. 236 00:11:13,290 --> 00:11:14,708 - You what? - If you help me, 237 00:11:14,792 --> 00:11:17,211 I promise I'll never look under the curtain at a Rick thing 238 00:11:17,294 --> 00:11:18,962 to figure out what's bad about it, ever again. 239 00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:20,380 And you can never say no to me. 240 00:11:20,964 --> 00:11:22,257 What are you, Keith Raniere? 241 00:11:22,341 --> 00:11:23,342 - For two weeks. - Fine. 242 00:11:23,425 --> 00:11:25,093 My grandson kissed my ass so I'm in. 243 00:11:25,177 --> 00:11:29,264 Okay, so, w-we just need to figure out something else besides 244 00:11:29,348 --> 00:11:31,183 people to put in the cans, right? 245 00:11:31,266 --> 00:11:34,478 But people are the spaghetti, that's the whole thing. 246 00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:36,146 But what if they weren't? 247 00:11:36,772 --> 00:11:38,732 - I'm listening. - Me, too. 248 00:11:38,816 --> 00:11:42,152 I mean, what if we make something like a person. 249 00:11:42,611 --> 00:11:45,113 Like… Rick you're always doing clones, right? 250 00:11:45,197 --> 00:11:46,573 What are you suggesting here? 251 00:11:46,657 --> 00:11:49,034 A sped up lifespan and indoctrination program? 252 00:11:49,117 --> 00:11:50,536 Limiting their exposure to the world 253 00:11:50,619 --> 00:11:53,038 and convincing them that becoming spaghetti is their destiny? 254 00:11:58,502 --> 00:12:00,504 I won't be delicious for them! 255 00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:03,006 I love you, CLONE-5617B! 256 00:12:08,470 --> 00:12:10,848 That was some speed run of Never Let Me Go. 257 00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:11,974 Spoilers, Rick! 258 00:12:12,057 --> 00:12:14,434 I guess all clone stories turn out the same way. 259 00:12:14,518 --> 00:12:18,230 So. We're back to the regular people, regular suicides? 260 00:12:18,313 --> 00:12:20,440 No, hold on, hold on. we can do this. 261 00:12:20,858 --> 00:12:22,401 Maybe we make them less… 262 00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:23,860 …people. 263 00:12:23,902 --> 00:12:26,572 How much of a people do they have to be to become spaghetti? 264 00:12:26,655 --> 00:12:28,866 Grey areas. My specialty. 265 00:12:29,491 --> 00:12:30,491 Subject one. 266 00:12:31,326 --> 00:12:33,036 No frontal lobe, no empathy centers. 267 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,080 Otherwise the same physiology as a person. 268 00:12:37,291 --> 00:12:40,127 Unfortunately, to this guy there's no difference between life and death. 269 00:12:40,669 --> 00:12:41,920 So, no spaghetti. 270 00:12:42,379 --> 00:12:43,463 Then there's this one. 271 00:12:43,547 --> 00:12:46,258 It's in horrible, unimaginable pain from the moment it's born. 272 00:12:46,341 --> 00:12:47,926 Oh jeez, oh no, Rick! 273 00:12:48,010 --> 00:12:51,388 And so I didn't even bother to make it because I knew you'd take issue. 274 00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:53,473 Even though you'd be doing it a favor by ending its life. 275 00:12:53,557 --> 00:12:54,334 Fuck you. 276 00:12:54,349 --> 00:12:56,602 You might want to examine that "Trolley Problem" at some point, Morty. 277 00:12:57,019 --> 00:12:58,186 Anyway, here's the last one. 278 00:12:58,562 --> 00:13:00,772 Kept the brain stem, internal motor functions. 279 00:13:00,856 --> 00:13:03,066 But essentially just a headless, boneless torso. 280 00:13:04,276 --> 00:13:06,194 There's spaghetti inside that? 281 00:13:06,278 --> 00:13:08,614 Theoretically, yes. The problem is the… 282 00:13:09,114 --> 00:13:10,114 You know. 283 00:13:10,741 --> 00:13:13,410 Could you, Like. 284 00:13:15,203 --> 00:13:17,456 What is that, what are you, is this charades? 285 00:13:17,539 --> 00:13:19,124 Okay, are you making a fist? 286 00:13:19,207 --> 00:13:20,876 Wait is that supposed to be a phone? 287 00:13:21,209 --> 00:13:22,836 Ah fuck it, just spell it out for me. 288 00:13:23,879 --> 00:13:25,505 Maybe give them… 289 00:13:25,589 --> 00:13:28,717 …a claw-like, hand so they can, ya know, 290 00:13:29,092 --> 00:13:31,595 - stab themselves to death? - All you had to say. 291 00:13:31,970 --> 00:13:35,307 Well, this is some solution you guys have cooked up. 292 00:13:59,748 --> 00:14:01,625 - Spaghetti! - Technically. 293 00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:02,708 Good enough for me. 294 00:14:02,751 --> 00:14:05,212 We need to fill hundred thousand cans by the weekend. 295 00:14:05,295 --> 00:14:08,632 So let's fire up these chunky boys! 296 00:14:10,133 --> 00:14:12,594 Torso's rights! Torso's rights! 297 00:14:13,595 --> 00:14:14,846 The new spaghetti sucks! 298 00:14:15,263 --> 00:14:17,015 We want authentic spaghetti! 299 00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:21,228 - Were you… - Wait, you're gonna blow yourself up? 300 00:14:21,311 --> 00:14:23,355 Yeah, but if you wanna do it… 301 00:14:23,438 --> 00:14:25,524 Well, you clearly have a morally superior position so. 302 00:14:26,191 --> 00:14:27,401 Please. Go ahead. 303 00:14:27,484 --> 00:14:30,195 You just want me to kill myself so you can eat the spaghetti, right? 304 00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,531 - Fucking alien piece of shit… - Fuck you! 305 00:14:32,614 --> 00:14:33,614 Fuck you! 306 00:14:39,454 --> 00:14:42,290 How long does a society take to collapse? 307 00:14:42,624 --> 00:14:43,624 Let's find out. 308 00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,503 What's the fucking hold-up? 309 00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:48,755 I've got an entire planet waiting on delivery. 310 00:14:48,839 --> 00:14:52,509 - They say they're out of spaghetti. - Then let's go down there and make some. 311 00:14:55,971 --> 00:14:59,766 Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself, 312 00:14:59,850 --> 00:15:01,852 Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself, 313 00:15:03,895 --> 00:15:07,399 I understand. Divert half of the armed patrols to civil unrest, 314 00:15:07,482 --> 00:15:09,151 the other half to planetary defense. 315 00:15:09,234 --> 00:15:11,945 Take every action necessary to restore order. 316 00:15:12,029 --> 00:15:14,197 Still didn't hear much diverting towards mental healthcare. 317 00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:17,159 The brainstorming is over, you ghoulish little corpse-eating alien. 318 00:15:17,242 --> 00:15:18,243 You've helped enough. 319 00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:22,289 Fuck. We owe so much spaghetti to so many planets 320 00:15:22,372 --> 00:15:23,874 that we're all going to have to kill ourselves. 321 00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:25,042 Slow down, slow down. 322 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:28,837 Rick can synthesize anything he gets a sample of, can't we still try that? 323 00:15:29,463 --> 00:15:33,216 I mean, is there anyone else left who might wanna kill themselves? 324 00:15:33,717 --> 00:15:35,969 There's one, but good luck. 325 00:15:37,387 --> 00:15:38,388 Two months to live. 326 00:15:39,181 --> 00:15:40,974 Bedridden, terrible pain… 327 00:15:42,184 --> 00:15:43,310 Why hasn't he done it yet? 328 00:15:43,727 --> 00:15:45,437 - Hey! - Fuck you, spaghetti child! 329 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:46,813 - What gives? - I'm in pain… 330 00:15:48,065 --> 00:15:49,316 …and I wish I could die. 331 00:15:49,775 --> 00:15:52,277 But I won't feed your sick system of profit. 332 00:15:52,861 --> 00:15:54,863 Integrity means living with pain. 333 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:58,200 What if I told you this would end the spaghetti trade forever? 334 00:15:59,951 --> 00:16:01,745 - What do you mean? - I'll explain on the way. 335 00:16:09,294 --> 00:16:13,298 Did you have a, like a… euthanasia chamber ready to go? 336 00:16:13,381 --> 00:16:14,381 It's just a place. 337 00:16:17,886 --> 00:16:20,597 Hey! Hey! Everyone Stop! Stop! 338 00:16:21,223 --> 00:16:23,558 I have a solution to get you all spaghetti. 339 00:16:23,642 --> 00:16:25,268 We're gonna do this one last time. 340 00:16:25,811 --> 00:16:28,980 This guy here, he's gonna do the deed and I'll synthesize it. 341 00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:31,691 This is the Kitty Hawk of our Wright Brothers flight, 342 00:16:31,775 --> 00:16:34,444 or the fill-in-the-blank from your fill-in-the-planet. 343 00:16:35,237 --> 00:16:36,988 Now, Fred? Just think about your life. 344 00:16:37,405 --> 00:16:39,699 This machine will put it on screen for everyone to see. 345 00:16:40,325 --> 00:16:41,868 When you're ready, press the button. 346 00:16:47,290 --> 00:16:49,584 - Do you think this is gonna work? - Trust me. 347 00:17:12,107 --> 00:17:16,820 Maybe, I don't really wanna know, 348 00:17:17,362 --> 00:17:19,656 How your garden grows, 349 00:17:20,198 --> 00:17:23,034 Cause I just wanna fly. 350 00:17:23,451 --> 00:17:27,998 Lately, did you ever feel the pain, 351 00:17:28,623 --> 00:17:30,709 In the morning rain, 352 00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:34,713 As it soaks you to the bone? 353 00:17:35,463 --> 00:17:40,760 Maybe I just wanna fly, Wanna live I don't wanna die, 354 00:17:41,178 --> 00:17:46,349 Maybe I just wanna breathe, Maybe I just don't believe, 355 00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:52,063 Maybe you're the same as me, We see things they'll never see, 356 00:17:52,397 --> 00:17:56,776 You and I are gonna live forever. 357 00:17:59,613 --> 00:18:01,740 I said maybe, 358 00:18:02,657 --> 00:18:04,451 I don't really wanna know, 359 00:18:05,327 --> 00:18:10,957 How your garden grows, Cause I just wanna fly. 360 00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:18,465 Lately, did you ever feel the pain, In the morning rain, 361 00:18:19,424 --> 00:18:23,303 As it soaks you to the bone? 362 00:18:23,386 --> 00:18:28,642 Maybe I will never be, All the things that I wanna be. 363 00:18:29,059 --> 00:18:34,606 Now is not the time to cry, Now's the time to find out why, 364 00:18:34,689 --> 00:18:40,028 I think you're the same as me, We see things they'll never see. 365 00:18:40,445 --> 00:18:45,116 You and I are gonna live forever. 366 00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:52,624 Maybe, I don't really wanna know, 367 00:18:53,458 --> 00:18:59,005 How your garden grows, Cause I just wanna fly. 368 00:18:59,422 --> 00:19:04,719 Lately, did you ever feel the pain, 369 00:19:04,803 --> 00:19:06,972 In the morning rain, 370 00:19:07,555 --> 00:19:10,600 As it soaks you to the bone? 371 00:19:11,309 --> 00:19:16,648 Maybe I just wanna fly, Wanna live, I don't wanna die, 372 00:19:17,065 --> 00:19:22,654 Maybe I just wanna breathe, Maybe I just don't believe, 373 00:19:22,737 --> 00:19:27,993 Maybe you're the same as me, We see things they'll never see, 374 00:19:28,410 --> 00:19:32,372 You and I are gonna live forever, 375 00:19:35,083 --> 00:19:38,003 Gonna live forever. 376 00:20:01,609 --> 00:20:02,609 Bon appétit. 377 00:20:12,871 --> 00:20:14,164 Well, fuck. 378 00:20:16,333 --> 00:20:18,418 I think I can speak on behalf of my people. 379 00:20:19,169 --> 00:20:20,378 We've had enough spaghetti. 380 00:20:21,338 --> 00:20:22,797 You did it, didn't you. 381 00:20:22,881 --> 00:20:25,550 You couldn't change everyone's taste, but you could make it… 382 00:20:26,468 --> 00:20:27,468 distasteful. 383 00:20:27,969 --> 00:20:30,597 - It wasn't the death, was it? - It was the complexity of life. 384 00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:32,140 God, what was the point? 385 00:20:32,223 --> 00:20:34,809 If you're asking whether this was a story about right and wrong, 386 00:20:34,893 --> 00:20:37,062 the answer is, I don't care. 387 00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:39,564 - So what do we do? - Cells consume, Morty. 388 00:20:39,647 --> 00:20:42,067 Life itself is wrong, and that means death is right. 389 00:20:42,484 --> 00:20:43,651 But you can't side with that. 390 00:20:43,985 --> 00:20:46,279 So you live, even when it means eating. 391 00:20:46,988 --> 00:20:48,823 And Fred here really did it well. 392 00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:57,749 The hell is this? Where is the spaghetti? 393 00:20:57,832 --> 00:20:59,292 Why don't you go fuck yourself, Summer? 394 00:20:59,376 --> 00:21:00,877 - What? - What's wrong with Salisbury Steaks? 395 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:01,960 At least try them. 396 00:21:02,253 --> 00:21:03,671 Holy shit, this is… 397 00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:06,883 the best Salisbury steak I've ever had. 398 00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,094 Is it actually Salisbury steak? 399 00:21:09,844 --> 00:21:11,304 Do you want to know or not? 400 00:21:11,388 --> 00:21:12,764 No thanks! 401 00:21:12,847 --> 00:21:15,183 Just so you know, it's really bad. 402 00:21:15,266 --> 00:21:18,186 - Whatever you say. - Seriously, I'm not kidding. 403 00:21:18,269 --> 00:21:20,897 I won't tell you but I need you to know the truth is horrible 404 00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:23,650 so that if you ever find out on accident you can't blame me. 405 00:21:23,733 --> 00:21:24,734 Now that's a deal. 406 00:21:25,610 --> 00:21:27,278 Honestly if you knew you might kill yourselves, 407 00:21:27,362 --> 00:21:29,280 - that's the last thing I'll say forever. - Good! 408 00:22:09,070 --> 00:22:11,781 Gonna live forever. 409 00:22:17,203 --> 00:22:20,373 That's where vacuum cleaner bags come from? 410 00:22:20,457 --> 00:22:21,457 Oh my god.