1 00:00:39,829 --> 00:00:43,038 I'm gonna rip out your spleen and feed it to your husband! 2 00:00:43,121 --> 00:00:44,621 Wouldn't want that. 3 00:00:44,704 --> 00:00:48,122 Morty, we'd better run before it figures out what a husband is. 4 00:00:48,206 --> 00:00:50,872 This carnival of nightmares used to be scary, right? 5 00:00:50,955 --> 00:00:53,206 - We've seen too much. - It sucks, you know? 6 00:00:53,289 --> 00:00:55,580 Cause it's fun to break off a scare now and then. 7 00:00:55,663 --> 00:00:59,289 Did I hear you fellas wishing for some good old fashioned scares? 8 00:00:59,372 --> 00:01:01,164 I mean, I more wish you wouldn't eavesdrop. 9 00:01:01,247 --> 00:01:03,956 Who are you? Does the suit mean you work here, 10 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:05,582 or that you super don't work here? 11 00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:08,332 Like yourselves, I'm a connoisseur of fear. 12 00:01:08,415 --> 00:01:11,123 I'm also originally from Earth. And did you know Earth 13 00:01:11,207 --> 00:01:13,998 is the home of the single scariest place in the galaxy? 14 00:01:14,499 --> 00:01:15,582 I can show you if you like. 15 00:01:16,124 --> 00:01:17,416 We were headed that way anyway. 16 00:01:18,957 --> 00:01:21,416 - Take a left. Almost there. - We know where Earth is. 17 00:01:21,500 --> 00:01:23,583 For guys like you, you know, who've seen it all 18 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,792 there's only a few real fears left to conquer. 19 00:01:26,875 --> 00:01:30,208 And one of them is right down here. 20 00:01:33,709 --> 00:01:36,126 - Okay, what the hell. - This is punching down. 21 00:01:36,209 --> 00:01:38,501 Denny's is a nice chain that gives people starchy food 22 00:01:38,584 --> 00:01:40,001 - when they're up late. - It's a hack joke, buddy. 23 00:01:40,084 --> 00:01:41,626 No, this is the place. 24 00:01:42,459 --> 00:01:44,043 Good luck to both of you. I'm gonna get myself a slam. 25 00:01:45,127 --> 00:01:48,211 - He just wanted a ride, right? - He certainly took us for one. 26 00:01:49,211 --> 00:01:50,919 As long as we're here… 27 00:01:51,752 --> 00:01:53,710 Ok! Lumberjack Slam, Grand Slamwhich, 28 00:01:53,794 --> 00:01:56,002 Pancake Puppies, Slamburger, two milkshakes… 29 00:01:56,085 --> 00:01:57,543 and an order of Cheddar Tots. 30 00:01:57,627 --> 00:01:59,711 Let me know when you want your check, and if you're here for The Hole, 31 00:01:59,795 --> 00:02:01,587 - it's in the men's bathroom. - The what now? 32 00:02:01,669 --> 00:02:03,961 - Hole? - The Fear Hole. Men's bathroom. 33 00:02:15,087 --> 00:02:17,546 Well, it's definitely a hole, they weren't lying about that. 34 00:02:17,630 --> 00:02:19,588 Is that hair? Seaweed? 35 00:02:20,004 --> 00:02:22,505 Boy, it's really circling the whole rim. 36 00:02:22,588 --> 00:02:24,880 Guess you gotta jump in without touching the sides? 37 00:02:24,962 --> 00:02:26,838 You think there's spikes on the bottom? 38 00:02:26,922 --> 00:02:28,923 I don't think they want you to go in there and just die. 39 00:02:29,006 --> 00:02:30,172 What kind of business would that be? 40 00:02:30,255 --> 00:02:33,339 Well, they're not drowning in money. They still have a built-in TV/VCR. 41 00:02:34,422 --> 00:02:37,006 - It's that carnival guy. - So he gets a kickback. 42 00:02:37,089 --> 00:02:40,339 Hi. Welcome to The Hole. Here's how it works: You jump in. 43 00:02:40,422 --> 00:02:43,924 The Hole manifests your greatest fear. You conquer that fear, and come out, 44 00:02:44,007 --> 00:02:46,965 well, fearless. And you get your picture on the wall! 45 00:02:47,423 --> 00:02:48,422 What does The Hole get out of it? 46 00:02:48,673 --> 00:02:51,757 Well, you know those fish that nibble dead skin off your feet? 47 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:55,673 The Hole's kinda like that. It eats fear. You win. It wins. 48 00:02:55,757 --> 00:02:57,300 Have fun, and enjoy the Ho… 49 00:02:58,633 --> 00:03:01,591 Hey Gaddafi, cool your jets with a taste of Mountain Dew! 50 00:03:02,050 --> 00:03:05,383 This has been here since VHS tapes and there's only three photos? 51 00:03:05,467 --> 00:03:08,300 - My tots are getting cold. - So you don't want to do it? 52 00:03:08,383 --> 00:03:09,716 - Do you? - I mean… 53 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,967 It says it takes away your greatest fear. 54 00:03:12,051 --> 00:03:14,301 My greatest fear, Morty, is trusting a gross hole 55 00:03:14,384 --> 00:03:17,551 to conquer my fear, and I conquer that fear by walking away. 56 00:03:17,635 --> 00:03:18,842 Okay, fine. 57 00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:22,300 You little turd! 58 00:03:25,176 --> 00:03:28,469 - Oh God! - Oh God! 59 00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:33,594 Hold still while I stuff you with maggots! 60 00:03:33,677 --> 00:03:36,053 Rick! 61 00:03:37,011 --> 00:03:39,594 Okay! The Hole thinks I'm scared of not having a gun? 62 00:03:42,678 --> 00:03:43,804 Fear conquered! 63 00:03:45,303 --> 00:03:49,553 Check out dem gains! Morty! Where are you, Morty? Let's go! 64 00:03:50,054 --> 00:03:52,678 - Oh jeez! Oh god, oh jeez! - Man! We both shit our pants! 65 00:03:52,762 --> 00:03:54,679 - Christ, Rick! My button. - What a fucking ride! 66 00:03:54,763 --> 00:03:58,263 - Maggots in my button! - Fuck yeah, on the wall, motherfuckers! 67 00:03:58,347 --> 00:04:00,138 It's not worth it! Not worth it! 68 00:04:03,554 --> 00:04:05,805 Oh my god, you both reek. What is that? 69 00:04:05,888 --> 00:04:07,055 Morty and I shit our pants. 70 00:04:07,138 --> 00:04:09,389 You're looking at the two newest members of the Hole Club. 71 00:04:09,473 --> 00:04:11,097 Okay, sluts. 72 00:04:12,431 --> 00:04:13,430 What the hell? 73 00:04:13,847 --> 00:04:19,223 Bomb almost killed her. Take care of our wife. 74 00:04:20,764 --> 00:04:24,015 Rick? No! Oh my God! No, no! 75 00:04:24,557 --> 00:04:27,432 - Mom? - Where am I? Who are you people? 76 00:04:27,516 --> 00:04:29,849 You're my mom, but, you're young? 77 00:04:29,932 --> 00:04:33,307 - Rick, what's happening? - Wait. Rick? 78 00:04:34,349 --> 00:04:36,098 What the fuck, Grandpa? Say something! 79 00:04:36,682 --> 00:04:39,058 - Okay, we're clearly still in the hole. - That's exactly what I was thinking. 80 00:04:39,141 --> 00:04:40,141 We never left the hole and… 81 00:04:40,225 --> 00:04:42,017 And part of the hole is thinking you left the hole and then 82 00:04:42,099 --> 00:04:43,308 And then it can really dig into you. 83 00:04:43,391 --> 00:04:46,183 Because you can't really be scared of anything if you know you're 84 00:04:46,266 --> 00:04:47,809 - Still in the hole! - Still in the hole! 85 00:04:47,892 --> 00:04:49,266 What the fuck are you two talking about? 86 00:04:49,350 --> 00:04:51,391 Why is dead Grandma alive in our living room? 87 00:04:51,475 --> 00:04:53,060 Rick, why are you old? 88 00:04:53,143 --> 00:04:54,142 All great questions. 89 00:04:54,185 --> 00:04:56,227 You guys get reacquainted while we grab some equipment. 90 00:04:57,143 --> 00:04:59,684 Wait, are we sure this isn't, like, a double mislead? 91 00:04:59,768 --> 00:05:01,935 A double mislead like we went into a generic fear hole 92 00:05:02,018 --> 00:05:04,559 and then coincidentally came home to that? That's… 93 00:05:05,018 --> 00:05:07,602 That's my wife. From the day I lost her. 94 00:05:07,685 --> 00:05:09,311 Well, what's it got to do with me? 95 00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:11,906 - Rick? - Right! 96 00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:14,061 I think I figured it out, Morty. Your greatest fear, 97 00:05:14,144 --> 00:05:16,186 is me getting Diane back and being happy again. 98 00:05:16,269 --> 00:05:17,269 What? Why? 99 00:05:17,353 --> 00:05:19,102 Because then I won't need you. Look how scared you're 100 00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,978 - getting just talking about it. - I'm not scared, I'm insulted. 101 00:05:22,062 --> 00:05:24,103 What kind of backhanded-ass theory is that? 102 00:05:24,187 --> 00:05:25,978 My greatest fear is you hooking up? 103 00:05:26,062 --> 00:05:28,521 You're right, we can't know for sure until I get more data. 104 00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:31,646 Alright family! Who wants to catch up over ice cream? 105 00:05:32,395 --> 00:05:35,103 I knew he was working on teleportation. But… 106 00:05:35,187 --> 00:05:36,938 Wouldn't this be time travel? 107 00:05:37,021 --> 00:05:39,188 Dad never touches time travel. 108 00:05:39,271 --> 00:05:40,271 He calls it the Long… 109 00:05:40,355 --> 00:05:42,355 Long Island Iced Tea of science fiction. 110 00:05:42,438 --> 00:05:44,688 Yes, but then what is this? 111 00:05:44,772 --> 00:05:46,605 Don't worry about it, it's not real. Okay! 112 00:05:46,688 --> 00:05:48,396 I figure it's better to do this in front of you, 113 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:51,689 I didn't want to walk in de-aged. What do you think, D? 45? Younger? 114 00:05:51,773 --> 00:05:54,815 I don't care about your age, Rick. I don't even want to call you that, 115 00:05:54,898 --> 00:05:57,856 that's my husband's name, he just died. 116 00:05:57,940 --> 00:05:58,939 I know. 117 00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:00,314 So, 27? 118 00:06:00,397 --> 00:06:03,523 - Dad! You're traumatizing her. - What? It's my face, too. 119 00:06:03,606 --> 00:06:06,899 And now Diane gets to understand that I'm still sexy and a genius. 120 00:06:06,982 --> 00:06:08,066 What a kindness. 121 00:06:08,149 --> 00:06:10,816 You were right, Rick, I'm really terrified right now. 122 00:06:10,899 --> 00:06:13,066 Terrified of what? If you don't mind, 123 00:06:13,149 --> 00:06:15,857 I'd like to get to know the adult version of my… 124 00:06:16,233 --> 00:06:17,316 Oh my God! 125 00:06:17,399 --> 00:06:19,234 Where's my real daughter? 126 00:06:19,317 --> 00:06:20,316 Sweetie, it's all right. 127 00:06:20,609 --> 00:06:23,609 This may as well be our real daughter, because she's just as real as you. 128 00:06:23,691 --> 00:06:24,733 - What? - Put it this way. 129 00:06:24,817 --> 00:06:26,400 You're all basically NPCs. 130 00:06:26,484 --> 00:06:28,858 Only Morty and I are real, so your side quests don't matter. 131 00:06:29,275 --> 00:06:31,858 - The main quest is… us. - You're disgusting. 132 00:06:31,942 --> 00:06:34,819 You're talking about our baby girl like she's theoretical? 133 00:06:34,901 --> 00:06:37,276 - Welcome to the family. - No, you don't get it, honey. 134 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,276 Even if this was real, she'd be only a version 135 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,276 of your daughter who could also be a clone of your daughter. 136 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,568 Stop wearing my husband's face! You're nothing like him! 137 00:06:44,652 --> 00:06:47,861 - Because I lost you! - Maybe you didn't deserve me! 138 00:06:53,444 --> 00:06:54,653 You want to hear a new theory? 139 00:06:55,152 --> 00:06:59,611 Maybe your greatest fear is getting a second chance with her and blowing it. 140 00:06:59,694 --> 00:07:01,736 You don't think that fear is been pretty well faced? 141 00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:05,904 Then you haven't conquered it. Or accepted it. Or something. 142 00:07:05,987 --> 00:07:07,612 "Or something?" I'm not a fearologist! 143 00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:09,403 Morty, all rom-come have an arc. 144 00:07:09,487 --> 00:07:11,946 Even You've Got Mail begins with Tom Hanks killing that cop. 145 00:07:12,029 --> 00:07:12,999 - Really? - I don't know! 146 00:07:13,029 --> 00:07:14,570 I'm not going to fucking watch You've Got Mail. 147 00:07:14,654 --> 00:07:17,239 I'm doing this for you, Morty. The sooner I get her back, 148 00:07:17,322 --> 00:07:20,405 the sooner you can conquer your fear of being a useless, lonely turd. 149 00:07:20,947 --> 00:07:22,696 You don't think that's been faced? 150 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,155 Hello Diane, here's the song I rehearsed. 151 00:07:30,489 --> 00:07:32,739 You had a bad day and Rick made it worse. 152 00:07:33,156 --> 00:07:37,989 He felt bad, so he created me. I deliver you waffles and an apology. 153 00:07:38,448 --> 00:07:40,740 Why do I have memories of being a human child? 154 00:07:40,824 --> 00:07:42,031 - Why would I need… - Shit! 155 00:07:42,532 --> 00:07:43,293 Goddammit! 156 00:07:43,323 --> 00:07:46,074 There was a whole second verse about inviting you to the zoo with the family. 157 00:07:46,157 --> 00:07:48,783 I've seen that robot's arms. 158 00:07:48,866 --> 00:07:51,950 I used them on a law enforcement drone that the Feds had me build. 159 00:07:52,032 --> 00:07:53,032 It's how we… 160 00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:54,907 How I met my wife. 161 00:07:56,033 --> 00:07:57,449 The zoo sounds nice. 162 00:07:58,407 --> 00:08:00,076 And this one time, we raised a civilization living 163 00:08:00,158 --> 00:08:03,283 on a zit on my face, and Grandpa helped me rule over it as queen. 164 00:08:03,367 --> 00:08:05,492 It sounds like you guys are a real family now. 165 00:08:05,992 --> 00:08:07,784 I wish you could've been part of it, Mom. 166 00:08:09,325 --> 00:08:10,909 - Oh, honey! - Rick! 167 00:08:10,992 --> 00:08:12,826 Is there a deadline on this theory you're chasing? 168 00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:17,118 Yeah, sure! That's a good idea, Morty. Do that. 169 00:08:19,327 --> 00:08:21,827 I always wished I knew what they were saying. 170 00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:24,035 Your Master's thesis. Nonhuman Intelligence. 171 00:08:24,118 --> 00:08:25,576 When did you read that? 172 00:08:25,910 --> 00:08:26,909 After you were gone. 173 00:08:27,327 --> 00:08:28,537 It helped me develop this. 174 00:08:30,411 --> 00:08:31,661 Fuck you! Fuck you, Greg! 175 00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:33,119 - Fuck you, Lisa! Bread. - No! 176 00:08:33,203 --> 00:08:34,578 - Fuck you! - Fuck you! There's bread. 177 00:08:34,662 --> 00:08:37,411 - I guess that's what I expected? - Anticlimactic isn't it. 178 00:08:37,495 --> 00:08:39,453 They kinda suck. 179 00:08:42,495 --> 00:08:43,870 Wanna grab a drink? 180 00:08:45,954 --> 00:08:47,120 Yeah, alright! 181 00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:01,163 When did you stop being a lightweight? 182 00:09:01,247 --> 00:09:03,330 Kept looking for my wife at the bottom of a bottle. 183 00:09:03,664 --> 00:09:04,664 You're pathetic. 184 00:09:05,247 --> 00:09:07,413 Hey! To being pathetic. 185 00:09:12,790 --> 00:09:13,789 Clear! 186 00:09:23,665 --> 00:09:24,915 My turn, my turn. 187 00:09:29,791 --> 00:09:33,666 I'll tell you what, Old Man. Seems like losing me made you cooler. 188 00:09:34,583 --> 00:09:35,958 I should die more often. 189 00:09:37,083 --> 00:09:38,082 You did. 190 00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:40,834 You died everywhere forever. 191 00:09:41,834 --> 00:09:43,251 You're the only thing I can't replace. 192 00:09:43,334 --> 00:09:47,584 Okay, okay, Mr. Weepy. I'm not even real, remember? 193 00:09:47,917 --> 00:09:50,376 Nothing's real, that's your jam, right? 194 00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:52,917 My grandson… our grandson… 195 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,919 thinks this is happening because my greatest fear is letting you go. 196 00:09:56,001 --> 00:09:57,752 - Then don't. - I don't want to. 197 00:09:57,836 --> 00:10:00,377 - Then kiss me. - I'm old and we have puke mouth. 198 00:10:00,460 --> 00:10:02,544 Well, I'm not here and it's not real puke. 199 00:10:11,253 --> 00:10:12,920 Okay, Rick! Dude… 200 00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:14,378 Fuck you Morty, it's a blazer. 201 00:10:14,461 --> 00:10:16,045 That's not what I meant. You look sick. 202 00:10:16,419 --> 00:10:19,378 - The hole is feeding on you. - I thought it's supposed to eat my fear. 203 00:10:19,461 --> 00:10:20,920 Can we get some fucking rules up in this hole? 204 00:10:21,003 --> 00:10:22,920 I don't know the rules! Maybe you're just dying 205 00:10:23,003 --> 00:10:24,338 because you've been in here too long! 206 00:10:24,420 --> 00:10:27,213 Interesting theory. I wonder why you're so rosy-cheeked. 207 00:10:27,296 --> 00:10:28,183 What are you saying? 208 00:10:28,213 --> 00:10:30,421 Maybe the real you is off somewhere running from spiders. 209 00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:31,754 So now I'm not real? 210 00:10:31,838 --> 00:10:34,754 Maybe my greatest fear is having to tell you to fuck the fuck off. 211 00:10:34,838 --> 00:10:36,547 - Go ahead and face it! - Fuck the fuck off! 212 00:10:36,629 --> 00:10:40,506 - Ready to Showbiz Pizza? - Lemme see that bear play banjo! 213 00:10:40,589 --> 00:10:43,464 Here's one for ya. I'm afraid of watching you die. 214 00:10:43,548 --> 00:10:45,797 I like that theory, Morty. So stop watching. 215 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,965 Okay, this is it. You nailed it. My worst nightmare. 216 00:10:53,423 --> 00:10:54,841 I'd like to leave The Hole now. 217 00:10:56,048 --> 00:10:59,215 Hey, Hole, I'm talking to you. Are you listening? 218 00:11:09,008 --> 00:11:10,842 So, what are you, like, the Hole? 219 00:11:10,925 --> 00:11:13,008 The Hole's promoter? The Hole's intern? 220 00:11:13,092 --> 00:11:14,133 Is there a hole here? 221 00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:18,008 Right! I'm supposed to go in there and be shocked that there's no hole, 222 00:11:18,092 --> 00:11:20,591 or that there is a hole? What difference would it make? 223 00:11:20,675 --> 00:11:22,717 You are hard to scare. 224 00:11:22,801 --> 00:11:24,093 And Rick isn't, right? 225 00:11:24,176 --> 00:11:26,384 The Hole's gonna, like, suck on him forever 226 00:11:26,467 --> 00:11:29,134 because his big secret is that he's got the most fear? 227 00:11:29,218 --> 00:11:31,467 Well, we can certainly say you're not afraid to be reductive. 228 00:11:31,968 --> 00:11:35,343 I doubt your grandpa has "more" fear than the average asshole in a Denny's. 229 00:11:35,426 --> 00:11:36,427 - Hey. - Sorry! 230 00:11:36,510 --> 00:11:40,010 If anything, he seems pretty brave. He's certainly not afraid to die. 231 00:11:40,094 --> 00:11:41,511 Maybe that makes his fear extra… 232 00:11:42,261 --> 00:11:43,260 delicious. 233 00:11:45,885 --> 00:11:47,760 So, what, he's scared of love? 234 00:11:47,844 --> 00:11:50,637 Everyone's scared of love, dipshit. You'll learn that in your twenties. 235 00:11:50,970 --> 00:11:53,762 It takes a very rare, very powerful being to be 236 00:11:54,387 --> 00:11:55,762 terrified of happiness. 237 00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:57,053 - Dumb. - You're dumb. 238 00:11:57,136 --> 00:11:58,512 That's why you're not scared to be happy. 239 00:11:58,595 --> 00:12:00,303 The smarter you are, the more you know. 240 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,804 Happiness is a trap. It can't last forever. 241 00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:04,680 Let's say you meet the love of your life, 242 00:12:04,763 --> 00:12:07,096 well, it's still gonna end… It's inevitable! 243 00:12:07,429 --> 00:12:09,471 Whether by the slow pull of a disease, 244 00:12:09,555 --> 00:12:11,680 or the shock of loose footing on a hiking trail. 245 00:12:11,763 --> 00:12:13,972 whether it be the corrosion of two personalities 246 00:12:14,055 --> 00:12:16,221 that reshape each other until they're incompatible, 247 00:12:16,304 --> 00:12:18,680 or maybe the old stranger in a bar who says the things 248 00:12:18,763 --> 00:12:21,597 that need to be said, to that person, that night. 249 00:12:22,014 --> 00:12:25,556 The point is… Happiness always ends. 250 00:12:25,639 --> 00:12:27,681 Best case scenario, think about this. Best case. 251 00:12:28,056 --> 00:12:30,889 Is that you die at the same time. 252 00:12:31,681 --> 00:12:33,932 - Yikes. - Can't the Hole just let me go then? 253 00:12:34,015 --> 00:12:35,099 Sounds like I don't matter. 254 00:12:35,182 --> 00:12:37,932 You don't. But if you go, you'll take him away. Don't worry. 255 00:12:38,015 --> 00:12:40,266 Rick will die before accepting happiness. 256 00:12:40,349 --> 00:12:42,474 After that, we'll chase you with some clowns 257 00:12:42,557 --> 00:12:43,932 or some dumb shit like that. 258 00:12:44,015 --> 00:12:47,682 But Grandpa… Grandpa's gonna die. 259 00:12:48,183 --> 00:12:50,100 Just like Diane. 260 00:12:57,225 --> 00:12:59,808 Sir, you've been in this booth for a really long time, 261 00:12:59,891 --> 00:13:01,559 - one coffee isn't gonna cut it. - That's fair. 262 00:13:01,933 --> 00:13:03,852 - Wanna split some pancake puppies? - No! 263 00:13:05,934 --> 00:13:07,726 Beth? Summer? Anyone! 264 00:13:07,810 --> 00:13:09,768 Dad, it's not real. Neither are you. 265 00:13:09,852 --> 00:13:11,768 If that's true, then you deal with it! 266 00:13:12,393 --> 00:13:14,059 You know what, you're right. 267 00:13:16,601 --> 00:13:17,727 How about this? 268 00:13:17,811 --> 00:13:20,644 - Morty! What are you doing? - Being scared! 269 00:13:25,352 --> 00:13:27,186 How is that not enough fear? 270 00:13:27,269 --> 00:13:28,936 You're the one scaring me, Morty! 271 00:13:29,019 --> 00:13:30,228 No, Dad, it's okay! 272 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,603 It's not okay! That wasn't normal! 273 00:13:34,687 --> 00:13:37,854 My greatest fear is not being accepted. 274 00:13:37,937 --> 00:13:39,062 It should be! 275 00:13:39,145 --> 00:13:41,271 And you need to fear it a hell of a lot more! 276 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:43,603 I can do that. 277 00:13:43,687 --> 00:13:44,728 You like that? 278 00:13:45,145 --> 00:13:46,188 Do you want to die? 279 00:13:46,272 --> 00:13:49,313 I have enough unaddressed trauma to flood this hallway. 280 00:13:51,105 --> 00:13:53,688 You fucking idiot, this list says Top Five Things 281 00:13:53,771 --> 00:13:54,980 and you only wrote down four. 282 00:14:01,481 --> 00:14:02,480 Trust fall! 283 00:14:03,481 --> 00:14:05,773 None of us touch or speak to this kid ever. 284 00:14:06,648 --> 00:14:09,523 Maybe take a picture, send it to your friends? 285 00:14:09,606 --> 00:14:10,605 Not a bad idea. 286 00:14:11,439 --> 00:14:14,106 How can we do the school play if Johnny has laryngitis? 287 00:14:14,189 --> 00:14:16,649 - There's no understudy! - Put me in the play. 288 00:14:16,732 --> 00:14:18,649 - You don't know the lines. - Yes I do. 289 00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:21,732 Three Days of Rain? I have it memorized. 290 00:14:21,816 --> 00:14:23,691 And I refuse to prove that until you cast me. 291 00:14:23,774 --> 00:14:26,357 Have it your way, but The New York Times is coming, 292 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,608 and they're doing a feature on the current state of young American theater. 293 00:14:31,733 --> 00:14:32,775 Perfect. 294 00:14:32,859 --> 00:14:36,067 - It ended in a church? What? - Yeah! 295 00:14:36,150 --> 00:14:38,692 They'd already died it was purgatory or something. 296 00:14:39,025 --> 00:14:40,525 How did your universe's version end? 297 00:14:40,608 --> 00:14:44,026 Jack, Locke and Sawyer teamed up to kill a fog monster and everyone got rescued. 298 00:14:44,110 --> 00:14:46,484 It was one season long and it was perfect television. 299 00:14:46,568 --> 00:14:49,151 You can be great or you can be around forever, right? 300 00:14:49,235 --> 00:14:52,402 True. 301 00:14:53,068 --> 00:14:54,734 - True. - Where's this going? 302 00:14:54,818 --> 00:14:56,360 - True. - We doing robot roleplay? 303 00:14:56,443 --> 00:14:57,652 - True. - I've got oil at home. 304 00:14:58,152 --> 00:14:59,777 - True. - What was that? Diane! 305 00:14:59,861 --> 00:15:00,789 Diane? 306 00:15:00,819 --> 00:15:03,486 - Diane. - Stay with me! Diane? 307 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,027 Rick? What's happening? 308 00:15:05,111 --> 00:15:07,819 Fucking Morty! He's trying to hog the hole. C'mon! 309 00:15:15,112 --> 00:15:18,571 Alas, our father is dead. 310 00:15:19,404 --> 00:15:21,237 Walker, are you here? 311 00:15:23,696 --> 00:15:31,280 I'm Walker. Sure has been raining a lot of days. 312 00:15:32,989 --> 00:15:33,988 What the fuck is he doing? 313 00:15:34,738 --> 00:15:35,864 What's wrong with him? 314 00:15:36,238 --> 00:15:39,114 He's naked. And why does he look sick? 315 00:15:40,572 --> 00:15:41,573 Because he's dying. 316 00:15:42,990 --> 00:15:45,156 Fuck. I gotta get him out of here. 317 00:15:45,489 --> 00:15:47,282 But if I do, I might have to go with him. 318 00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:50,823 I don't want to. I don't want to, Diane. 319 00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:52,781 I think my greatest fear is letting you go. 320 00:15:52,865 --> 00:15:55,408 That's a good fear, Rick. Keep that fear. 321 00:15:55,740 --> 00:15:58,283 If you don't, you'll kill me. Again. 322 00:15:58,782 --> 00:16:01,283 I know. But I don't have to kill Morty too. 323 00:16:01,366 --> 00:16:04,740 How do you know he's even real? Look at his weird little balls. 324 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:07,365 Goodbye, Diane. 325 00:16:11,117 --> 00:16:12,450 - Rick…? - Shut up Morty. 326 00:16:12,534 --> 00:16:15,158 DJ, drop that beat, we gotta conquer a fear! 327 00:16:17,784 --> 00:16:20,117 This is my grandson don't look at his pee-pee 328 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:22,742 stead of staring at Morty put your eyes on me 329 00:16:22,826 --> 00:16:25,410 I'm a roped-out freak loose dog in my ass 330 00:16:25,493 --> 00:16:28,243 macaroni in my pocket Rickity masterclass. 331 00:16:28,326 --> 00:16:30,827 I don't know how to rap I don't know how to rhyme 332 00:16:30,910 --> 00:16:33,451 I don't know how to rap now eat my shit! 333 00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:35,910 Incredible. 334 00:16:35,994 --> 00:16:38,744 Now throw your hands up! And put your hands down. 335 00:16:38,828 --> 00:16:41,161 Throw your hands up! Now put them back down! 336 00:16:42,161 --> 00:16:44,411 Three days of rain! 337 00:16:47,161 --> 00:16:49,287 That was an astounding feat of personal bravery. 338 00:16:49,786 --> 00:16:52,370 Nudity always makes theater serious and good. 339 00:16:53,037 --> 00:16:54,079 How do you feel? 340 00:16:54,162 --> 00:16:55,662 Accepted. You? 341 00:16:55,745 --> 00:16:56,744 Pathetic. 342 00:16:57,037 --> 00:16:58,537 But… Happy? 343 00:17:12,622 --> 00:17:15,289 We did it! We conquered our fears. Right? 344 00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:22,415 Rick! You just looked real sad, which I'm afraid of. 345 00:17:23,164 --> 00:17:26,623 You know, of being responsible for your sadness. 346 00:17:27,081 --> 00:17:29,832 Which means, I think, we might still be in The Hole. 347 00:17:30,707 --> 00:17:33,999 Well, I am definitely afraid of you ever knowing anything before me. 348 00:17:34,081 --> 00:17:36,624 So, I'd say there's a 100% chance that we're still… 349 00:17:38,708 --> 00:17:40,916 God damn it. Is this going to be a whole thing? 350 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,000 No wordplay, Morty. 351 00:17:42,083 --> 00:17:44,457 We have to figure out our actual fears if we're ever going to get out of here. 352 00:17:44,541 --> 00:17:46,000 - Actual fears? - Yeah! 353 00:17:46,083 --> 00:17:47,666 Tell me your fucking fear so we can conquer it. 354 00:17:47,749 --> 00:17:51,375 I just had to crucify myself in order to save you from your Hole Wife, 355 00:17:51,458 --> 00:17:53,959 and you think I'm the one with unresolved fears? 356 00:17:54,042 --> 00:17:55,750 I oughta be afraid that we'll never get out, 357 00:17:55,834 --> 00:17:57,458 because you'll never admit that you're afraid! 358 00:18:00,959 --> 00:18:03,042 Okay. Good job. You conquered it, right? 359 00:18:03,459 --> 00:18:05,751 I think so? How are we supposed to know? 360 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,668 No, this is real, I can tell. 361 00:18:07,751 --> 00:18:09,918 You're not afraid that you could be certain about something 362 00:18:10,002 --> 00:18:11,460 and still turn out to be wrong? 363 00:18:13,085 --> 00:18:15,502 - You cowardly asshole! - How was I supposed to know? 364 00:18:18,502 --> 00:18:20,336 Eight dollars for a side of bacon? 365 00:18:20,420 --> 00:18:22,128 Are you fucking kidding me? 366 00:18:22,211 --> 00:18:24,044 It's a symptom of a larger concern, Morty. 367 00:18:24,128 --> 00:18:26,295 - If capitalism collapses… - Are we done here? 368 00:18:26,628 --> 00:18:29,378 I don't know. Aren't you a little afraid at this point of The Hole itself? 369 00:18:29,461 --> 00:18:30,460 What? 370 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:32,753 I swear to God! If we're still climbing out 371 00:18:32,837 --> 00:18:34,588 of this fucking Hole two seasons from now. 372 00:18:34,671 --> 00:18:36,170 - Maybe that was it. - What? 373 00:18:36,254 --> 00:18:39,337 Maybe we needed to let go of our fear of uncertainty. You know? 374 00:18:39,921 --> 00:18:41,005 Right. 375 00:18:41,088 --> 00:18:43,129 I'd say we're pretty native to that at this point. 376 00:18:43,212 --> 00:18:45,088 - Okay thank you, Hole! - Thank you, Hole! 377 00:18:45,171 --> 00:18:48,463 We no longer need to know if we're in you! So Bye! 378 00:18:56,547 --> 00:18:57,964 Are you afraid we're still in it? 379 00:18:58,047 --> 00:19:00,505 I mean, I hope we're not, but if we are… 380 00:19:00,589 --> 00:19:02,882 - We'll find out eventually. - Which no longer scares me. 381 00:19:02,965 --> 00:19:05,090 Same. Okay. I'm gonna go get drunk. 382 00:19:08,340 --> 00:19:12,923 Move on they say, you'll feel better with time. 383 00:19:14,132 --> 00:19:17,841 But time alone can't heal This heart of mine. 384 00:19:21,133 --> 00:19:25,592 You can't go back, That's the only rule, 385 00:19:26,924 --> 00:19:30,675 But rules were meant to break when it comes to you. 386 00:19:32,593 --> 00:19:38,467 I saw time and time, Slip by when I withdrew, 387 00:19:38,843 --> 00:19:43,801 I wandered far and wide, Without you. 388 00:19:45,467 --> 00:19:46,844 Without you. 389 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:04,053 So I bury my dead, And I try to start again, 390 00:20:05,012 --> 00:20:09,095 But it will never be the same As it was back then. 391 00:20:10,887 --> 00:20:16,804 I've seen time and time, Slip by, but I'll make do, 392 00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:20,637 - 'Cause I won't live my life… - Oh my God, I've turned into my dad! 393 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,762 Maybe there's no way out. Maybe we were born here. 394 00:20:26,597 --> 00:20:29,598 - C'mon. We're gonna get through this. - I'm staying here. 395 00:20:29,681 --> 00:20:32,139 No. We're Rick and Morty. I'm not leaving without you. 396 00:20:32,930 --> 00:20:34,055 What did you say? 397 00:20:34,139 --> 00:20:36,889 I said I'm not leaving you in here. Come on. You're irreplaceable. 398 00:20:39,598 --> 00:20:41,180 - What? - Oh my god. 399 00:20:41,264 --> 00:20:42,681 I know what I'm afraid of. 400 00:20:43,014 --> 00:20:45,307 I'm afraid you'd never say that in real life. 401 00:20:45,390 --> 00:20:47,307 I'm afraid that if I jumped into a hole, 402 00:20:47,390 --> 00:20:49,390 you wouldn't even bother jumping in after me. 403 00:20:49,473 --> 00:20:53,223 You'd just stand there and watch. This entire thing has been about me. 404 00:20:53,765 --> 00:20:56,682 You're not even in the hole, are you? 405 00:20:58,016 --> 00:20:59,933 Thank you for visiting the Fear Hole, Morty. 406 00:21:00,017 --> 00:21:03,391 Your fear of relying on Ric has been delicious. 407 00:21:03,474 --> 00:21:05,892 Dear God! 408 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:10,474 Morty! How was it? Was it spiders? 409 00:21:10,850 --> 00:21:14,226 Oh jeez. Oh my god, no. You… 410 00:21:14,934 --> 00:21:17,684 - You didn't go in at all? - No, it's a one-person ride. 411 00:21:17,767 --> 00:21:19,809 You can't face two fears at the same time. 412 00:21:19,893 --> 00:21:21,851 If my fear was fire and yours was water… 413 00:21:21,934 --> 00:21:23,268 I get it. It's fine. 414 00:21:26,101 --> 00:21:27,101 It really is fine. 415 00:21:27,561 --> 00:21:29,686 You do seem a little less burdened. 416 00:21:29,768 --> 00:21:32,519 Rick, am I irreplaceable? 417 00:21:32,603 --> 00:21:36,060 - I mean, define "irreplaceable". - That's good. Good. 418 00:21:37,811 --> 00:21:38,810 I'm back. 419 00:21:39,769 --> 00:21:41,895 Don't! Or I won't know if I'm out! 420 00:21:41,978 --> 00:21:43,770 - Is it that good? Should I go in? - No. 421 00:21:44,312 --> 00:21:45,311 You holding out on me? 422 00:21:45,896 --> 00:21:47,729 You don't want to deal with it, Rick. 423 00:21:47,812 --> 00:21:51,103 There was messed-up mental shit in there. Like, Diane was in there. 424 00:21:51,186 --> 00:21:52,395 - What? - Not in a good way. 425 00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:53,811 Just trust me. 426 00:21:54,312 --> 00:21:56,563 Okay, buddy. Let's go slam some pancakes. 427 00:22:46,066 --> 00:22:49,859 How bout that? Season 7! 428 00:22:49,942 --> 00:22:52,066 It was touch and go there for a second. 429 00:22:52,150 --> 00:22:56,943 Remember when I stole my kid? I stole one of these too! 430 00:23:00,610 --> 00:23:05,448 It's all about having a goal and stopping at nothing to achieve it! 431 00:23:05,531 --> 00:23:08,367 Then you'll be fulfilled!